Feelings Aren't Facts

Often there may be a distortion, be it big or small, regarding how we see ourselves, others, or our lives in general. This distortion, or as I call it, the story we tell ourselves, frequently leads to emotional pain, increased anxiety, and potentially depression. That is because feelings aren't facts.

The phrase, feelings aren't facts, is commonly used in 12-step programs, yet it is profoundly true for all of us. This phrase uses the term, feelings, in such a way that it is not about emotions such as sadness, grief or anger. Instead it refers to our beliefs, perceptions, interpretations and thoughts. It speaks to the ways in which we experience ourselves, or others, in a subjective way.

Perception is Reality

When we say, for example, "I don't feel good enough." How could this statement not create further unease? Although others in our world may perceive us as amazing, or more than good enough, it is what we tell ourselves, even if it is not a fact, that emotionally distresses us.

This may be further exacerbated by making comparisons based on our assumptions about other people. We may tell ourselves, "That woman has got it all together. Look at her. How come I don't?" This story may also not be a fact, yet because we believe it is, it may further exacerbate, or contribute, to the wearing away of our self-esteem.

Fact or Fiction

When we operate from a place of misconception, distortion, or fiction, then we walk through the world from this place. This can produce a distortion of ourselves, of other people in our lives, or the world in general. If we function from a place of fear, anxiety or anger our perception of reality can be tainted with negativity. These painful feelings, although triggered by non-facts, can still ultimately affect us.

Another person's comment may remind us of something that occurred in our history. Accusations and judgements that occurred in our childhood, or adolescence, that were not resolved may influence our interpretation of circumstances in our current lives. The other person, and even ourselves, may have no idea this unresolved issue has influenced our perception unless this interaction is explored or clarification is sought.

We Believe What We Perceive

Our internal process, or how we internally experience or interpret something, is often more about our history as opposed to what the other person may truly mean. The stories we tell ourselves about what the other person means may negatively affect the relationship.

Often we use the word feeling for what is not a feeling. For example, I feel that you are accusing me of lying. It is important to differentiate this thought from the feelings that are triggered by it.

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Your Life Is Waiting On You! When Are You Going To Show Up?

I first heard the phrase 'start before you're ready' from Marshawn Evans. I thought to myself she must be crazy. I can't start before I'm ready. Well I have to be honest. Marshawn was right. Once I got enough courage to do my own event, I thought to myself that I wish I would've started sooner.

Your Life Matters. Your life is waiting on you. Many of us are waiting for the perfect time to start our business, the perfect time to travel, the perfect time to move, the perfect time to buy a new car, the perfect opportunity, etc. While it makes sense to wait to do certain things so you don't appear to be completely irrational or illogical, the reality is that there's never going to be a perfect time. Perfection doesn't exist. Sometimes you just have to take a risk. You have to do something different. Yes, you should think things through and do your due diligence in terms of research and having some type of plan but once you've done that, at some point you're going to have to take a leap of faith. Your dreams need you. Even with a stellar business plan, for example, you may run into challenges. Life happens for all of us no matter how much we try to have our ducks in a row. It's life. You learn along the way. It's okay to make mistakes. You can use them as learning opportunities. I speak from experience as I've delayed taking action in my own life because I've felt like I wasn't ready, I had to be perfect or that I didn't have enough or wasn't as good as some other people in my industry. Steve Harvey is a comedian, television host, radio personality, actor, and author. Steve mentioned on his show that you have to jump. You'll never know if you can soar if you never jump. I agree. In other words, you don't know how amazing and incredible you can be if you never try, if never give yourself a chance. Every successful person had to start somewhere. It's easy to get caught up in thinking you have to have everything perfect when you see your competition or others in your field that may have a fancier website or high quality videos, for example. It can be discouraging. However, you must remember that they too had to start somewhere. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Everyone started out with an idea, a dream, a goal. They then got the crazy idea to actually pursue it. Something in them had to believe that it was possible so they started to take action. I guarantee if you ask any successful person if it was a nice and perfect road to success, all of them would say no. There were some twists and turns but they did not let that deter them. As they were on their journey to success, I'm sure there were people they came across that had better websites, better videos, more clients, better marketing, etc. and they may have felt like they weren't good enough. But they kept going and just got better along the way. That's all you have to do. What matters is your authenticity. You don't have to start out with the most expensive camera or the most expensive software. You start from where you are with what you have. It's enough. You can start with your iPhone. That's what I've done. What's important is to do what you can right now. Your life is waiting on you. Your dreams are waiting on you. Just get out there! If you focus on having everything perfect, you're likely to procrastinate and that will cause you not to move forward.

Your Dreams Matter. Your life matters. You matter. God has given all of us gifts and talents that we must share with the world. Your gift is what could save someone's life. Your talent is what could give someone hope. If you look at it from the perspective of the millions of people you're robbing by not sharing your gifts and talents then you wouldn't take it so lightly. It's not about you. You playing small is not benefiting anyone. Your gifts and talents were given to you so you could be a gift/blessing to others. Start before you're ready. Take the first step. Take action in the direction of your goals and dreams. The world needs you. Don't wait for the perfect time. Start from where you are with what you have. It's more than enough. Keep moving. As you grow, you'll get better. Your life is waiting on you. Don't delay. Tomorrow isn't promised.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Strengthening Your Belief in Yourself

It may sound strange, but the one person you'll always have in your life is you. In order to have an existence that's peaceful yet exciting and fulfilling, it's important to believe in yourself.

When you believe in yourself, you know that you have the ability to handle anything that life throws your way. You recognize that¸ although things may be tough, you'll get through it.

If that voice deep inside you says, "But what if I'm not sure that I can handle something," you could probably benefit from boosting your self-confidence and recognizing more of your abilities.

These strategies can bolster that belief:

1. Know yourself. Who are you? How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you? Write down a description of you. "[Your name] is a person who_____________." Keep writing what you know about yourself. When you're finished, read it. Does it give the reader a clear idea of who you are?

2. Develop a real understanding for how you react in certain situations. For example, if someone tells you he's angry about something you did, how do you respond? When people ask for help, what do you do? Noticing the behaviors you perform whenever challenging situations occur will help you see your capabilities.

3. Be comfortable with your own feelings. Recognize what you're feeling and label it-is it sadness you feel when you see your little girls growing up? Or is it pride? It's okay to shed a tear over a poignant commercial or a sad or touching movie.

4. Recognize your strong points. Although most of us can identify our weak areas right off the bat, it's sometimes a challenge to see our strong points. Recognizing the areas of life in which you do really well is a great confidence-booster.

5. Remind yourself you've made it through some challenging episodes in life. When you see what you've risen above, it helps you to realize that you can get through the tough times. You can probably easily recount all the difficult phases you've gone through in life. Yet here you are, surviving and maybe even thriving.

• Be inspired by the initiative, personal strength, and courage you've shown so far in life. Say to yourself: "If I did that, then I can achieve even more."

• For example, maybe you made your way through college or even graduate school while working full-time and taking care of a family. That's quite a feat. It must have been a challenging time for you. Yet somehow, you did it. That's pretty incredible. Acknowledge it.

6. Get comfortable with admitting you made a mistake. This suggestion just might be the most important one on the list. If you can't admit to yourself and others on a regular basis that you've made a mistake, the fact is that you'll have difficulty believing in yourself. Why? Because in order to believe in yourself, you must be real with yourself and others.

• Otherwise, you'll see that you're not even honest with yourself and your confidence will lag. It's okay to be wrong. Let's face it-most of us are wrong at least once a day. The easiest way to solve an issue or figure out a conundrum is to acknowledge, "I did something wrong."

• If you recognize and acknowledge your errors, you're very wise because you obviously know you can't correct a mistake unless you see the mistake in the first place. If you're not already doing it, start openly and honestly acknowledging errors. That way, you can fix them.

• These actions will also help you believe in your ability to handle anything.

If you believe in yourself, your life will be so much easier. Believing in yourself brings a certain quiet confidence. 

Thoughtfully consider the above points and strengthen your resolve to believe in the one person you'll always have: you.

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Steps to Building Self Confidence

Self confidence, as the words suggest, is your inner feeling that gives you the assurance that you can achieve your desired results with a greater sense of responsibility. It is a belief in yourself that you can take up responsibilities and challenges in your life.

In order to attain this, you need to recognise your potential and know your inner strengths. Look at your achievements in your life's journey. Identify what is important to you and where you want to go. Replace any negative thoughts in your mind with positiveness and commit yourself to face challenges.

In order to cultivate and develop such a positive self-image the following needs to be enhanced:

1.Goals and Vision - Set realistic goals. Be a visionary and dream your goals. Convert your dreams into plans and plans into action. Stay focussed and persist in your efforts. Divide your goals into sub-goals and keeping work on them and lead them to your final goal.

2.Interpersonal Relationships - Participate in social activities. Join social clubs or charitable organisations. Get involved with people as this will channelise and renew your energy. Share your thoughts, view, hopes and aspirations with your near ones.

3.Communication Skills - Learn to interact with people using charm in your conversation. Recognising and complimenting others for their achievements will boost your desires to achieve similar results.

4.Knowledge - Enhance your knowledge by reading as much as possible on varied subjects. Newspapers, magazines provide lot of information and updates. Watch appropriate channels and programs on television to broaden your knowledge. This will give you confidence when you meet people, make presentations etc.

It is worthwhile that whenever you achieve something, take pride in your achievements. Congratulate yourself. It will boost your morale. Reflect on your successes and consolidate your confidence.

A good way of doing this is to display in your house any certificates or awards you have won in the past as this will motivate you to win more laurels. Keep appreciating these small achievements for enhancing your positive attitudes and inner strength.

One must however be also ready to face setbacks as these are only challenges that occasionally stand between you and your goals. Persistence is the key to success. Analyse the situation and take corrective steps. Do everything possible to bounce back with much more vigor till desired results are obtained.

Self confidence is all about you and your goals. You can only draw inspiration from other sources, but action is what you have to take. Action in the right direction. When you are self confident, you do what you believe to be right even if others mock or criticize you. You take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

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Why Positive Thinking Works

Positive thinking does create positive outcomes. But not everyone believes that. Some people think positive outcomes are only dictated based on how much effort you put into something. And, while effort counts, how great of an outcome can you have if you think miserably along the journey to that outcome? Some people think positive thinking is a "trendy thing" and that the truth is, "whatever is meant to be will be." And while destiny, fate, etc. can be something to believe in, you must realize that your mind and the energy you give off impacts that destiny. And then, you just have cynical people that always find the bad in situations or play devil's advocate way too much. Well, that is their prerogative, don't feed into it and stay away from them.

If you want more positive outcomes in your life, you do have to think positive. Positive thinking steers your course into a positive outcome. Here are 3 ways positive thinking leads you toward a positive outcome:

1. Positive Thinking Builds Confidence.

When you think positively you think positive about what is around you. You see the good in life and in people. You trust in yourself and your resources. This process builds confidence. As you see the strength and goodness of your world and yourself, you are more apt to take healthy risks. Instead of letting fear stop you from huge dreams and goals, you are able to believe in yourself and take leaps toward goals. You know that if you hit a barrier, you can hurdle it or those around you will help you hurdle it, and that builds confidence. Confidence is what you need to take risks and risks often lead to positive outcomes, like success.

2. Positive Thinking makes you See More Resources.

Happy and positive people see what they do have, and that goes for their resources, too. Those who think limitedly, are cynical or fail to see the positive in situations often miss resources that are right around them. They often close their mind to their community and those around them who want to help. You may often hear them use the statement "I always do everything myself." This is a very powerful black and white comment. This type of thinking shuts down a lot of amazingness right around them. Instead, the positive minded person looks at the resources they do have even if they are limited. They will work harder to find resources in the community that could support them. Resources will help you gain momentum, stay your course, and help you hurdle barriers. All things that will lead to a positive outcome.

3. Positive Thinking Keeps You Open-Minded.

Positive people have open minds. They listen to others, not just give their two cents. This gives insight into what people desire, what questions they should ask and alternate points of view. They try to see life through different perspectives. By opening your mind, you see more answers, opportunities and ways to live your life fully. More opportunities, more insights and more fulfillment create more positive outcomes.

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3 Tips To Upgrade Your Morning Routine

Having a morning routine is one of the best ways to kick-start a day in the most productive, positive and healthy manner and be energized and motivated throughout the whole day.

It takes time to form it as a habit. You begin by waking up earlier than you have to and investing that time in some activities that are good for your mind, body and soul. Over time, you add new elements to it like meditating, working out, creating your to-do list for the day, organizing things to save time later on, etc.

For some people, however, it never gets easier no matter how long they've been having a ritual to start the day successfully. Sometimes, it's still a struggle and you realize you can't become a morning person, don't find enough joy in this whole thing, aren't as effective as you should and feel upset because of all this.

If that sounds familiar, then here are some tips to deal with your morning routine struggle, and take your mornings to the next level by making the most of every minute:

1. Go to bed with intention.

In life you should always know why you do what you do. A reason becomes a purpose and makes everything easier and meaningful. To apply that approach to how you start your day means to decide to have a powerful morning routine the night before, go to bed with that thought in mind and prepare to prevent failing.

Here are some things you can do tonight for a highly productive and inspiring early morning:

Write down why your morning ritual matters to you and how it can change your life - doing that before sleep gets the message to your subconscious mind and you truly believe in the power of starting the day this way. You'll wake up motivated to do all the morning habits you desire.

Be excited about it - look forward to leaving bed earlier tomorrow morning. Remember that few people find the willpower to actually get up earlier than they have to and use that extra time to become more disciplined, organized, energized and productive.

Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room so that you'll have to go get it and thus avoid the temptation to close your eyes for 5 minutes more.

Prepare your clothes - keep them beside your bed to know what to do in the morning and make it more likely to dress up.

De-clutter - seeing chaos first thing in the morning will keep you in a bad mood for the whole day. Make sure you put everything back in its place, wash the dishes, organize your desk, etc.

2. Make the ritual more fun.

To look forward to waking up in the morning and make sure you do your whole routine, include activities you enjoy, or stuff that can't happen at any other moment of the day. 

Wanna take up a new hobby? Wake up an hour earlier and dedicate that time to it. Be it painting, learning a new language, creating a digital business, or taking a fun course online.

If you are looking for some peaceful me time, there's no better choice than the early hours of the day. Do some reading or writing, while listening to music or drinking your coffee or tea slowly and with a smile on your face. No one will be there to bother you and you'll keep that calm attitude till the evening.

3. See how others are doing it.

If you struggle with your morning ritual, take a look at what some remarkable people out there are doing first thing in the morning to stay motivated and steal an idea or a few. 

Read about the daily rituals of famous men in history, read blog posts from successful entrepreneurs and notice how they start each day. They'll all talk about how this is one of their best habits. Whatever you do, keep in mind you're working on yourself and thus being a role model. You inspire with your actions!

But if you don't take control of your morning, you'll still have a routine, it will just be a bad one. The average person wakes up with the last alarm, complains about having to be up at that time, doesn't have time to prepare for the day, leaves in a hurry, often forgets something, and begins the day in an awful mood. Don't become someone like that. Even if you're struggling with your ritual, keep working and making changes slowly over time. It's worth it!

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5 Truths About Self-Improvement and Toxic Friends

When you start to make positive changes and improve yourself, you expect your friends to be excited and happy for you. Nobody expects a close friendship to turn toxic, but unfortunately it happens. I can tell you firsthand that it's devastating when once close friendships crash and burn during a time that should be exciting for you. Toxic friendships don't always mean that your best friend is actively sabotaging you Mean Girls style, they can happen when you have simply grown apart and chosen different paths. Read my 5 truths about personal growth and toxic friendships and see if anything resonates with you.

Creating personal growth in your life won't sit well with some friends

If you are transforming your life with positive changes, whether it's gaining confidence in yourself, losing weight, maybe starting a new career, you're going to lose friends. Period. People who aren't comfortable with change will find your evolving life hard to swallow, maybe because it reminds them that they are stagnant in life, or maybe they aren't used to you standing up for yourself. Maybe your whole friendship was based on the negative behaviors that you kicked. Self improvement will expose the friends that don't have your best interests at heart. Be prepared to lose friends, for it to hurt a lot, and then to get over it and feel happy. Losing friends may not seem like it, but it can be a blessing in disguise.

A toxic friend is not necessarily a bad person

The thing about toxic friends is that sometimes they don't mean to be toxic at all and are generally pretty good people outside of your shaky friendship. Maybe they just are terrified of change, and can't understand your new perspective. Most toxic friends come in the form of people who aren't supportive of your successes, talk behind your back, or are judgmental of your goals. I'm talking about the friends who leave you feeling drained, negative, or down about yourself every time you see them.They aren't bad people but that doesn't change the fact that they are toxic to your personal growth. Take a good hard look at your friendships and notice who is trying to get you to go back to your bad habits, who cuts you off when you're sharing something you're proud of, who tells you you're not a good friend because you're not putting all your attention on them. Those are the kind of people you don't need.

Ending the friendship doesn't have to be dramatic.

I can look at my former group of friends with love and respect for the time we spent together, but at the same time know that they are toxic to my improved self. I don't spend my time gossiping, but I used to with them. I don't like to have shallow surface conversations all the time, but I used to with them. I don't spend my time complaining about the present while reminiscing about the past, but I used to with them.I chose to be positive, work towards the future instead of being stuck in the past, and stop making fun of people because it made me feel better about myself, and unfortunately that caused some awkwardness and distance in the friendship. People grow apart and choose different paths, and my path just didn't have room for their negative energy. I'm not saying to cut off friends who don't agree with you all the time or who have different goals than you, I'm saying it's important to have friends who are authentic. Ending a friendship doesn't have to be a big, dramatic fight. You could try to discuss how you're feeling with them if you're interested in saving the friendship; maybe they don't realize how they're affecting you and can shift their attitude. If that's not the case, you have two options: you can directly say you need some space, or slowly stop hanging out with them. Leaving it on a good note leaves room for re-connection if you feel they may grow in the future.

Leaving toxic friendships will free up your energy and time to spend on supportive relationships

Here's the hard part: even though they don't mean to be toxic, and are generally good people, they're still toxic and you have to move on. Leaving a friendship is just as hard as leaving a romantic relationship, especially if you still love and respect that friend. I had to do it, and it bothered me for the better part of a year. I asked myself the same things over and over "why don't my best friends understand me, why are they so caught up in trivial and negative things"? I lost sleep over it, cried about it, yelled about it, but in the end, I came to understand it was for the best. Now, I only spend my time with people who celebrate me, support me, and love me unconditionally, and who I celebrate, support and love. It's an amazing feeling to be surrounded by people I know only want the best for me. I'm happier, more confident, more fulfilled, more inspired! Great things come from dropping the toxic friends.

Never hide your positive progress because a friend isn't happy for you

Toxic friends have their own underlying issues that are causing them to act in an un-supportive way towards you, don't take it personally. It's an indicator that they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, so it's not you it's them. Just because people aren't happy about your amazing progress doesn't mean you should hide it. Shine bright like a diamond yo, you worked hard to manifest change in your life, don't let a few doubters dull your success. Surround yourself with friends who are proud of you and push you to do better. Assess your circle and only keep the awesome people around. Any friend who doesn't leave you feeling uplifted, supported, and happy doesn't need to be a friend, and life is too short to associate people who don't appreciate the beautiful soul that you are. Just know that you are not the only person to go through this. It may feel lonely now, but soon you'll find people who will appreciate who you are and who you're trying to be, and it won't feel forced or lonely. Always follow your intuition, if someone is constantly bringing you down, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.

Have you had any encounters with personal growth and toxic friendships? Tell me about it in the comments below! It would be AMAZING to hear your story!

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7 Tips for a Successful Life

It is a sad fact of this life in its current form that has a staggeringly high percentage of the general population suffering from low self-esteem.

Some estimates have this figure at an astounding 85%!

Challenges of kicking bad habits or just a general low self belief can make this life hard - much harder than it has to be!

Keeping up the proper mindset to attract more abundance of what we want out of life is hard. Daily challenges continue and will always continue to hit us. The key lies in ensuring that we are adjusting our thoughts and processes during the day to ensure that we maintain the proper understanding and belief required to attract what we want in our lives and expel the negativity that will continuously try to enter our lives like a thief in the night.

Make no mistake, it is a dangerous thief. One that creeps into your life and makes itself at home. Worse than that, we actually start to believe what this nefarious creature whispers into our ears and end up with a life that we truly don't want, or need.

There are things that we can do to keep the beast at bay and vanquished. Below are some tips that I hope will help you.

1: Highway to the Danger Zone.

To build up your self-confidence you must get outside of that comfort zone. Each and every single day put yourself into a situation that makes you uncomfortable in some way. You will soon realise that you are more capable than what you currently think.

2: Compliments

Everyone loves to hear a compliment. Make sure that the compliment is legitimate and not forced. People can see through an unreal compliment and you will come across as sleazy, a liar or worse.

Handing out compliments to those who truly deserve one will come back to you ten-fold.

What's the worst that can happen? You make someone else's day a little brighter for it?

3: Expel The Positivity Thief

Pay CLOSE attention to your inner voice throughout the day. This sneaky little thief will squirm itself into your life if you don't pay attention.

Don't call yourself foolish, an idiot, stupid, fat or ugly. Boost your own self-esteem and improve your self-confidence by boosting your positive attitude to the fore. Catch that positivity thief and expel them into the nether regions where they belong!

4: Stake The Energy Vampires

You know the ones I'm talking about. People in your life that seem to suck the life right out of you!

Be wary and selective in who you let into your inner circle. Some of those that purport to be our closest allies are actually energy vampires. They appear to give you 'advice' that actually impedes you in achieving what you desire. They instill and plant the seeds of doubt that will feed the positivity thief. Inch by inch, step by step they will lead you to a path that is NOT of YOUR choosing.

Look closely at those around you. If it appears that they are literally sucking the life out of you then they most likely are. You know what you need to do, no need for me to spell it out here.

5: Be Grateful

Make time each and every day to list things that you have to be grateful for.

Take time to record each positive step in the right direction. The end goal is that much closer for each and every step in the right direction taken.

Feel good for those small steps, you are on the path that YOU HAVE chosen for yourself.

This will provide further positive momentum and self-confidence to take the next step. Very soon you will be able to look back at the path and be totally amazed by how far you have come.

Be grateful for these steps and don't fear to compliment yourself on each! You are moving in the right direction, whatever direction that may be for you and you deserve to complimented!

6: Ask!

This one seems to be a no-brainer but I'm constantly amazed at how this simple one is overlooked so often.

Ask for what you want. The worst thing that can happen is you get a NO, which will be the outcome if you don't ask!

7. Be An Active Listener.

People love to talk about themselves. It seems to be an ingrained thing in this life as it currently stands. The best 'conversationalists' that I have come across in life are those that actually do more listening than talking.

Our perceptions on what others want to hear are very often skewed and incorrect. Actively listen to these people and you will be amazed by the amount of doors that will open up for you. Doors that you probably weren't even aware existed.

Being an active listener is a skill that needs to be worked on. Catch yourself from interjecting your thoughts while the other person is still talking. Don't fidget with that pen. Make eye contact.

Make the talker understand that they hold your full attention and that you are paying attention.

There's no doubt that you will have read or heard the above tips numerous times. Pick and choose the ones that you can implement now. I have no doubt that your self-esteem and self-confidence will pick up and you will have no boundaries. This is the point that your life becomes truly that - YOURS.

Have you applied these tips in your life?

Share your story about how some of these tips have helped change your life. 

I would love to hear them!

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Amazing Benefits Of Being Optimistic

When it comes to the angle on how you perceive the world, studies have shown that being more optimistic can dramatically improve the quality of your life.

Optimism is simply looking at adversity in a positive light.

Taking the time to see things from a different perspective and shining a light on the positive can be extremely beneficial in all areas of your life.

Here are just a few ways on how being optimistic can help you in your daily routine:

Optimism promotes happiness.

It will help you keep your emotions in check.

Research into optimism shows it can actually increase your lifespan.

Being optimistic can reduce the level of stress you experience during unexpected events.

Optimism provides you with a stronger and more solid reason to live life.

Optimistic people are more proactive, rather than being reactive.

It provides you with an empowering way to handle failure in a constructive manner.

It is an essential trait that is common among successful people

It increases your productivity and creativity.

Optimism provides you with a way to deal with life in a balanced manner because it provides you the re-framing tools to deal with negative thoughts that inevitably pop up during the day.

These are just ten of the amazing benefits of being more optimistic.

There are many more attributes to taking a more positive approach to the things that life throws your way. People who tend to see the good in things rather than the bad are typically healthier as it improves both your psychological and physiological well-being.

When you are faced with adversity, the way that you approach the situation is extremely important.

Those who take a negative approach tend to live in a world that is "out to get them." These people often fail to see the bigger picture, which can have a negative impact on their life.

Those who face adversity with a positive attitude tend to have a happier life simply because they choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When life throws something at them, they look for the positives that can come out of it and move on towards a future that looks much brighter.

You will continually be challenged by difficult life circumstances, that is just a fact of life.

However, the next time you have negative thoughts, take a moment to think about how this negative experience could actually be a good thing. What's good can you gain here? What precious lessons can you learn from it?

Ask yourself power questions so that you take action and keep moving forward. This will benefit your entire well-being and help you experience a more fulfilling life.

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Taking Charge Of Your Life Right Now

What does it take to take charge of your life? When does it make sense to make the kind of changes that taking charge of your life implies? When you want to take charge of your life, you have questions you need to answer.

Courage and Confidence

It takes courage and confidence to take charge of your life. You might not feel an abundance in these areas right now if you're looking at taking charge of your life. Yet you have been courageous and confident during previous times in your life. Life requires courage! Life demands confidence!

Courage enables you to consider what might be a better set of choices. Courage gives you the get up and go to pick yourself up and take action. Courage does not replace fear. Instead, courage allows you to go forward despite fear that might be suggesting that it's too risky to move in the direction of your dreams.

Confidence allows you to use your talents and abilities in new ways. Confidence puts your skills to work in different circumstances. Confidence does not remove doubt. Rather, confidence allows you to do what you know how to do. Regardless of the doubt you may be feeling. In spite of reminders that today's circumstances are not precisely identical to how you've used your skills in the past.

Change.

Change is inevitable. Life is filled with changes. Over the course of your lifetime, you'll live in an environment that presents many things to you, sometimes overwhelming you with the sense that your entire life is filled with change. As you face challenges and deal with change, it makes sense to adapt to the new situations that arise.

Taking charge of your life has to do with adjusting to the change as it occurs. Dramatic sudden change can leave your mind spinning. That's one time when taking charge of your life demands that you reach for all the courage and confidence you can muster.

Skills.

You'll need to learn new skills. Times of change instill new skills. You can decide that you're willing to use your courage and confidence to gain the skills you need.

In fact, deciding is taking charge of your life. Because that makes it happen. I've found that when I reach deep for courage and confidence, I can decide to take action. I take charge of my life! I find that leads to happiness.

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What Are the Basic Principles of Self-Esteem?

How to catch the negative critic in you: 

People are often the hardest on themselves most of the time. Every time a negative or temporary life altering event on the outside happens, you begin to think about yourself as a loser and everyone else as a great life, stop that thought right there and catch it. Failures will cease to make you feel bad about yourself when you realize that they are only opportunities and not mighty hardships that God is trying to throw on you. Often, when something doesn't turn out the way you plan another opportunity comes to pass. We find it difficult to focus on what other opportunity could possibly be better and only focus on what did not happen.

Stop comparing yourself to others: Though it's been said a million times already, it still holds true that every single individual on this planet is unique in their way. What matters is not whether you are as good as the rest of the woman, but whether you are good at being you and showing your own gifts and talents with others. People have different lives and circumstances and have their successes and failures. You may think someone else has a better life because they have more money than you or a better husband or better friends, family or job. What you don't always know, is the skeletons in their closet that we all have.

Respect yourself first: Love yourself more: Because if you don't respect yourself, then how can you expect others to respect you? Accept yourself, however you are at this moment, and that means physically and mentally. Physically, some of us are more endowed with good looks than others. Some of us have sharper minds than our peers, and that's perfectly fine. Whoever you are and however you are, there will always be something in you that absolutely nobody else will have.

You have to allow for someone to make you feel bad: If somebody were to throw mud at you, would you just stand there and let it hit your head, hair or clothes or would you simply move aside and let it pass by you? The choice is yours. You cannot stop people from throwing stones and telling you all that they do, but you can choose to accept it and make you feel bad or not accept it. Be very choosy and picky when it comes to taking advice from just anyone. Ask yourself if it makes sense and is it helping you or is it being given by alternative motives. If it's not helping you, then discard it. Associate with genuine, real positive people who will help you and feel good about yourself as a woman.

Keeping a journal. I don't want to hear how you don't have time. With technology today you can write notes in your phone which is probably by your side most of the day. Write something good about yourself every day. Whenever you feel down and low in self-esteem, open up your journal to encourage yourself once again.

Do unto others: Do one good thing to someone or something every day without expecting anything in return. It could be anything, from feeding a stray dog, giving a complement to helping the elderly. When you can help someone else in their suffering or pain especially if it's a pain or situation you have been through you're actually healing yourself as well in return without realizing it.

Express your talents: Pick a hobby you are good at and become even better at it. Pride in something that you do helps to create a positive self-esteem Examples of hobbies can be gardening, writing blogging, embroidering, sewing or even wood refurnishing. It is hard to be down on yourself when you have created something physical and can look at it with pride and say to yourself "Look at what I have created".

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3 D's of Productivity Success Values to Adopt Now

Our values drive our behavior. We also choose our values. Why not choose the best ones? Some values support our faith, others how we manage our money, still others how effective we are at achieving our dreams and goals. These I call Success Values. Let's look at which Success Values help us be more productive.

First, what does it mean to be productive? We generally think of productivity as being able to get more done in less time, also known as being efficient. Productivity is not necessarily about cramming more work into less time. What does it matter if we get more done if they're the wrong things?

Real productivity is about getting the right things done at the right time. These three Success Values will help you with maximizing real productivity in your life.

Discipline - This one is obvious. We have to be able to set priorities and do them when we're supposed to. Ultimate discipline is being able to force yourself to do what you don't want to do when you don't want to do it. On a more practical level, discipline means doing what you've planned to do or what must be done. Discipline is the key to all Success. It's what helps you get on track when you're off-track. It helps you create your plans and execute them.

Dedication - Dedication to your goals is next. Achieving your goals will be hard, presuming your goals are truly worthwhile. Easy goals don't need dedication and really aren't worth concentrating on either. Hard goals, that stretch us and make us become better than we were are the ones worth pursuing. Those are also the ones that sometimes make you want to quit. That's where dedication comes in. You have to be committed to the outcome you're after. You have to be willing to throw all of yourself into your goals when necessary.

Discernment - Discernment is how you know when it's necessary to throw all of yourself into your goals. Sometimes, we get too caught up in the pursuit of our goals that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Our lives get out of balance because we let too much attention get focused on one area of our lives. Being able to discern what's important is key to true success. Knowing when it's OK to be unbalanced in our focus is just as important knowing when it's not. Sometimes we have to spend our time in a single area temporarily. What's important is knowing when to stop.

These Success Values are, of course, not the only ones that apply to productivity. They are a really good foundation to build on though.

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Eating for Happiness: The Invisible Link Between Food & Your Mood

Fad diets come and go, but one thing always stays the same: your body needs proper nutrition in order to function properly. When you don’t get proper nutrients, there are consequences – one of which is negative effects on your mood and the way you feel.

Besides feeling sluggish after overeating or loading up on sugars or unhealthy fats, you probably feel guilty. There’s a very obvious connection between the foods you eat and the way you feel. But there’s also something deeper at play.

Some people eat when they feel sad, depressed or lonely. But others feeling the same way eat nothing at all to cope with their feelings. Is there a scientific connection between the way we eat and how we feel? Let’s investigate this link and see if we can figure out the best way to eat well and maintain happiness, without restricting ourselves to boring food.
Optimal Nutrition for a Healthy Mind and Body

Before we delve into the connection between food and mood, let’s begin by investigating what the human body actually needs to stay properly nourished. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the human body needs the following vitamins and minerals:

Vitamin A
Vitamin B6
Vitamin B12
Vitamin D
Vitamin E
Vitamin K
Calcium
Folate
Iron
Chromium
Selenium
Magnesium
Zinc

Healthy foods that properly nourish the human body are polyunsaturated andmonounsaturated fats, complex carbohydrates, complete proteins, fruits and vegetables. It is recommended you get the vitamins and minerals you need through the food you eat. That’s why it’s important to eat well, satiating your hunger with foods that benefit your health instead of providing nothing but empty calories.
Overfed and Undernourished

Food processing has stripped what we need to stay healthy from the food supply, leaving the majority of Americans without the proper nutrients. We live in a fast food nation, with a whopping 80% of Americans admitting to eating fast food at least once per month and one-third of Americans considered obese.

Besides the weight gain that comes with poor eating habits, the effects on mood are undeniable as well. One study investigating adults with mood disorders found a direct relationship between depression and maniac behavior and diets lacking essential nutrients
A Deeper Relationship Between Food and Mood

Beyond the evidence found in the studies, think for a moment about a time when food made you feel good. And this doesn’t refer to the short-lived gratification that comes with eating a thick slice of chocolate cake. Consider, instead, a meal you have eaten that makes you feel good, tastes good and is also good for you. There is no guilt that comes with such a meal. Hopefully the meal was nutritious, packed full of protein and vegetables or other healthy options — a no guilt meal. Let’s call this scenario 1.

Conversely, in scenario 2, think about a time when you ate something and were later filled with regret. Whether it was multiple slices of pizza, a supersized fast food value meal or some other form of food lacking proper nutrition, you likely felt badly afterward. Maybe you became bloated, or perhaps you felt fatigued and guilty.

People who continually place themselves in scenario 1 likely have smaller waistlines, better sleep habits, fewer instances of diabetes and other diseases, and less stress. People who often find themselves in scenario 2 are likely caught in a negative cycle. They eat poorly, feel guilty and bad about it, and then eat the wrong foods again as they deal with their negative emotions and guilt.
You Have the Power to Change the Cycle

Regardless of how hopeless you may feel if you’re caught in scenario 2, you have the power to change it at any time. The positive effects that come with healthy eating, like better mood and more energy, will happen rather quickly. Your food choices have the power to transform your mood within a matter of days, but may come with a few initial side effects, such as headache or irritability, as your body adjusts to fewer toxins and better nutrients. These negative side effects are short lived and should disappear within a day or two.
Indulge in Brain Food

An easy way to start eating healthier and feeling better is to indulge in brain food. Everything in the body is connected, so if your body feels good and you’re eating well, your mood will likely be positive. There are specific foods known to boost brain function, such as the following:

Nuts
Avocados
Flax seeds
Eggs
Salmon
Blueberries
Broccoli
Low-GI whole grains
Tomatoes
Black currants
Pumpkin seeds



If you begin slowly, adjusting your diet in an effort to eat healthier and feel better, you will experience fewer symptoms that come with drastically changing your diet. In other words, it will be easier on you than an abrupt change.

Making healthy food choices to feel good is all about balance. If you eat nothing but plain chicken and healthy vegetables every day, you might begin to feel better, but you’ll quickly become bored. Food should be enjoyed! If you train yourself to reach for healthier options without being overly restrictive, you will reap the benefits and not be bored with what you eat.
Finding the Right Balance

There’s been a lot of buzz lately about the happiness diet, which is based on balancing fats, carbs and protein. Nothing is restricted on the happy diet and no food groups are eliminated. So you won’t experience a vitamin deficiency, and you should never feel hungry or grumpy, as long as you make an effort to eat nutritious meals and reach for healthy snacks.

Balance is the key to feeling good, and it starts with your diet. Aim to fill your plate with lots of different colors, and don’t load up with foods from one particular group and neglect another. Don’t restrict yourself, but maintain portion control.
Every Body is Different

Listen to your body and learn what’s right for you, because everyone is different. Some people can have the occasional soda without suffering any consequences, but others can’t. Some people find they need more of a particular vitamin for optimal benefits. Listen to your body and learn what’s right for you. After some time, you will become acutely aware of how your food affects how you feel. If it helps, keep a journal and log your food and mood for a few weeks, and see if you notice any patterns.
Does Your Diet Have the Power to Change Your Life?

Many people want to know if eating the right foods can help you be less stressed, be happier and live a more fulfilling life. The answer is a resounding “yes!” Learn to eat what makes you feel good in the long-term, and don’t live by harsh restrictions. Once you do, you will surely find yourself an all-around happier, and healthier, individual.

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