What Are the Basic Principles of Self-Esteem?

How to catch the negative critic in you: 

People are often the hardest on themselves most of the time. Every time a negative or temporary life altering event on the outside happens, you begin to think about yourself as a loser and everyone else as a great life, stop that thought right there and catch it. Failures will cease to make you feel bad about yourself when you realize that they are only opportunities and not mighty hardships that God is trying to throw on you. Often, when something doesn't turn out the way you plan another opportunity comes to pass. We find it difficult to focus on what other opportunity could possibly be better and only focus on what did not happen.

Stop comparing yourself to others: Though it's been said a million times already, it still holds true that every single individual on this planet is unique in their way. What matters is not whether you are as good as the rest of the woman, but whether you are good at being you and showing your own gifts and talents with others. People have different lives and circumstances and have their successes and failures. You may think someone else has a better life because they have more money than you or a better husband or better friends, family or job. What you don't always know, is the skeletons in their closet that we all have.

Respect yourself first: Love yourself more: Because if you don't respect yourself, then how can you expect others to respect you? Accept yourself, however you are at this moment, and that means physically and mentally. Physically, some of us are more endowed with good looks than others. Some of us have sharper minds than our peers, and that's perfectly fine. Whoever you are and however you are, there will always be something in you that absolutely nobody else will have.

You have to allow for someone to make you feel bad: If somebody were to throw mud at you, would you just stand there and let it hit your head, hair or clothes or would you simply move aside and let it pass by you? The choice is yours. You cannot stop people from throwing stones and telling you all that they do, but you can choose to accept it and make you feel bad or not accept it. Be very choosy and picky when it comes to taking advice from just anyone. Ask yourself if it makes sense and is it helping you or is it being given by alternative motives. If it's not helping you, then discard it. Associate with genuine, real positive people who will help you and feel good about yourself as a woman.

Keeping a journal. I don't want to hear how you don't have time. With technology today you can write notes in your phone which is probably by your side most of the day. Write something good about yourself every day. Whenever you feel down and low in self-esteem, open up your journal to encourage yourself once again.

Do unto others: Do one good thing to someone or something every day without expecting anything in return. It could be anything, from feeding a stray dog, giving a complement to helping the elderly. When you can help someone else in their suffering or pain especially if it's a pain or situation you have been through you're actually healing yourself as well in return without realizing it.

Express your talents: Pick a hobby you are good at and become even better at it. Pride in something that you do helps to create a positive self-esteem Examples of hobbies can be gardening, writing blogging, embroidering, sewing or even wood refurnishing. It is hard to be down on yourself when you have created something physical and can look at it with pride and say to yourself "Look at what I have created".

Source

Four Strategies to Achieve Your Goals

"If a man wants his dream to come true, he must first wake up." - Author unknown

The path to achieving your financial goals can become a little easier if you know exactly what is required to move from dream to reality. Let's look at four things that you need to know in order to attain your objectives:

Know what you want

When you get up in the morning, do you have a vivid picture of what you want to accomplish for the day? When you rest your head at night, do you think about the things you want to do tomorrow that will take you one step further in your life's journey?

Or do you merely live each day without a conscious thought about what you are working to achieve? One of the main reasons why many persons never attain any major goals is that they don't know what they want out of life.

Personal achievement guru, Brian Tracy confirms that the three keys to accomplishment are 'clarity, clarity, clarity." Having a specific intention about what is important to you is the first step in the goal setting process.

If you are honest with yourself about the things that you don't want to have in your life, then this can help you to pinpoint what you want to achieve.

For example, if you are uncomfortable with having to depend on your spouse for money for your personal bills, then you can express your desire as "I want to independently earn enough money to meet my needs."

Know why you want it

Knowing what you want is essential, but focusing on the reasons why you wish to get your goal is an even more powerful achievement strategy.

While you may be able to clearly outline the things you want, have you ever stopped to consider why these goals are important to you? What motivated you to want these things in the first place?

Very often, people's past experiences, positive or negative, leave major impressions on their subconscious minds. These incidents usually arouse emotions which may compel them towards certain goals.

You need to get to the root of your dream; try to identify the emotions that are being triggered when you think about what you want or what you don't want.

For example, if you say you want your own home because you hate having a landlord, concentrate on the negative emotions that come to your mind. Do you feel insecure because someone else has the power to separate you from your home?

When you focus on your feelings, they can provide a stronger push to succeed than just thinking about your goal itself.

Know when you want it

When you know what you want and why you want it, you have created a purpose statement for your goal. However, even though you may have clarity of intention and a burning desire to achieve, you may still struggle to see your dream fulfilled.

Have you ever considered how long it should take you to achieve your objectives?

Many people express their desires without indicating the time frame in which they would like to see it come to fruition. With an indefinite approach to your goal, you will not make it a priority and you will probably procrastinate on carrying out the necessary steps.

However, don't set arbitrary deadlines; be realistic about all the things you have to do before the goal can be accomplished.

Let's say that you know that you need to get additional training in order to leave your dead-end job and work in the area you truly love. Consider the length of the course and how quickly you could obtain the necessary financing for it.

The next step is to commit to a date when you want to start living out your dream; this will put you under pressure to get it done.

Know what you have to give up

It is possible to be clear, passionate and time-conscious about your goals and still not get to the finish line. There is one element missing from the final equation - you need to recognise and be willing to accept that you need to give up some things, in order to get what you want.

Natural law dictates that you can't get something for nothing; there must be a corresponding payout for whatever you receive.

When it comes to your goals, think carefully about the amount of time, effort and money that will be required to make them happen. Are your dreams important enough for you to make the necessary sacrifices?

For example, if running your own business is your goal, you had better be prepared to put in many sleepless nights, work tirelessly while others play and invest your financial resources, before you get started.

When you make the required commitment to do whatever it takes to succeed, and take immediate actions in line with your objectives, then you will become successful in your quest.

Source:  

6 Simple Soul & Mind Nourishing Activities We Often Forget About

“Affirmations are our mental vitamins, providing the supplementary positive thoughts we need to balance the barrage of negative events and thoughts we experience daily.” – Tia Walker

Are you spending more time taking care of others or yourself?

Know that either extreme is making you lose your power to build and sustain a happy life.

If you lose yourself in caring for others, you might end up merely existing and not living. Plus, those people you care for, become dependent and get lost in life as well. If you get too much self-involved and self-centred, you end up alone.

6 Soul & Mind Nourishing Activities

Therefore, find your balance between giving and taking; between offering your time and energy to others and yourself; between caring for other and caring for yourself.

Because most people tend to lose themselves in satisfying, mainly other people’s needs and wants, here are 6 things to nourish your mind and soul:


1. Time For Yourself

If you are the carer (as a parent, a spouse, an employer, for example), which un-avertable you are no matter what you do for a living, looking after people by choice or occupation, you might be one of those people that feel guilty and selfish to take time for yourself.

Are you?

Listen, it is admirable what you are doing, and I bow to you; yet, at the same time, I want to ask you: for how long do you think you can keep it up if you don’t take care of yourself as well? If you don’t take some time for yourself too?

An overworked, tired and unhappy carer has an adverse impact on those for which is caring. Is it not? A child can’t be happy and grow harmoniously raised by an unhappy parent. An employee can’t be productive led by a stressed and overwhelmed boss.

Can they?

Therefore, occasionally be selfish and take time for yourself. Put your fear and anxieties aside and let the Earth spin around without your help and attention. Remember that, in that circumstance being selfish is an act of self-preservation and, ultimately altruism.

When you care for others, you are like a machine that needs maintenance, oiling, and rest, to work properly.

Concern yourself less about what people may say about you and stay focused on the result you want: offering valuable, meaningful, and sustainable care, service, leadership, help, and whatever else you have to give.



2. The Courage to Say NO

As a child, I’ve struggled because not my parents, nor the other adults around knew how to be assertive, how to put their foot down and then help me to move forward.

I had to, consistently, second guess my behavior, lose valuable time in finding by myself what is expected from me and what are the rules of living in the society.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that there are better ways to grow, improve and learn, other than the hard way.

Pay attention, being assertive is not just a way to let people know what you want, but is a duty as well. Overcome your fear of saying No!

Overcome your negative preconceptions (if you have) about being an assertive person and put your foot down, say “no” when you need to and say “yes” only when is the right thing to do.


3. Listen to Your Inner Voice

Life has this habit of going on with you or without you. Don’t let it slip away without having any say about it. Listen to your inner voice and allow yourself guided by your wisdom.

If you are one of these people, always on the run, always doing something important, always using your time to build something concrete, tangible, most likely you know what I’m referring to when I say;


“LIFE HAS THIS HABIT OF GOING ON WITH YOU OR WITHOUT YOU.”

You know that you’re going through motions without listening to your inner voice for days on end or even months and years.


Note that your inner voice is not the same thing with self-talk. Your inner voice is telling you what you need (mind, soul, and body), what make you sad, what is hurting you, what is helpful, how to protect yourself; It comes from your deeper self, the wisest part of you.

On the other hand, self-talk (internal dialogue) is the way you represent how you see the world and yourself and it comes from learning, experience, and beliefs.

Listen to your inner voice; it has many things to tell you if you are willing to hear it out.


4. Respect

How much thought and attention do you put into the words you’re saying to others? I guess, a lot! Do you have the same consideration towards yourself?

Self-respect starts with valuing who you are and it is manifested, the most, by the way, you talk to yourself and about yourself. And, then, it is what you do with and what you put into your perfect vehicle: your body!

And, the last one, but as important as the other two, self-respect is how you speak to and about people because what you say about others is more a reflection of who you are and less who they are. Is it not?


5. Compassion

In a society that you are encouraged more and more to strive and focus mainly on achievement, career and success, how many of us feel content and satisfied with who they are, how they look, how much they accomplish?

The standards are so high and still going up and up that almost no human can keep up. No wonder so many people have low self-esteem and confidence issues.

How about setting your own standards? How about taking, periodically, breaks to recharge and refresh? Moments to re-evaluate the validity of what is expected of you? Yet, even better! what if you add to those moments and breaks, a bit of self-compassion?

Self-compassion is food for your mind and soul. It allows you to understand that whatever you do when you’re doing it, you believe to be the best action.

Judging your former self with the knowledge you have today is unfair. Is it not? Aren’t you more knowledgeable, wiser, more skilled, more aware of things than ten years ago? You, definitely, are! You are much better even compared to yesterday.

Give yourself compassion and believe that you are doing the best you know how in each moment of your life. If that is not enough for the society and your environment, that what could be, if any?


6. Connection

Success and accomplishment is a sad place to be in if you have no one to share them with. A big mansion means nothing for your level of happiness and contentment if you spend your days alone in it.

Aren’t being happy and healthy, feeling safe and free, what you want the most in life?
Being alone in the big mansion is a self-made prison; eating by yourself is a health hazard; walking alone through the vicissitudes of life can become a safety issue quickly.


THESE ARE JUST A FEW EXAMPLES OF HOW YOUR BIGGEST DESIRES IN LIFE CAN GET LOST AND DISSIPATE BEHIND SMOKING MIRRORS WHEN YOU HAVE NO MEANINGFUL CONNECTION TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Next time when you see people that prefer to stay in unhealthy and unhappy relationships, don’t ask yourself why are they doing it because loneliness is a bigger load to bear than hardship alongside to others.

That being said, choose this better option: gather around you people that you enjoy spending time with; people that love, appreciate, value, and accept you as you are.

Stay connected, reach out, build long-lasting and meaningful relationships and feel happy, healthy, safe and free no matter if you live in a mansion or a shack.


Summary

Time for yourself
The courage to say NO
Listen to your inner voice
Respect
Compassion
Connection
What other mind nourishing activities do you partake in? Leave a comment below.

Source