Six Stress-Busters That Will Ease Your Stress At Work

Does your heart beat faster at work and you have trouble sleeping at night? Those are just a couple of symptoms for work-induced stress. Other indications of being stressed at work include headaches, tense muscles, upset stomach, feeling fatigued all the time, and even experiencing chest pains.

Workers often take those symptoms for granted. But these danger signs can be more serious than you think. Deadly serious in fact.

What worries you the most about work and life?

Harvard and Stanford researchers last October found that workplace tension could take from six months to three years off your life. The study cut across many kinds of jobs and income levels. A couple of big worries held by all of the groups surveyed were the fear of losing a job and health insurance.

"If we're living in a constant state off fight or flight," says wellness coach Emily Soares Proctor in a printed report, "the stress response happens over and over again, chronically upsetting your entire system and creating the environment for exhaustion and disease."

While you might question one of the survey's "findings"-that workplace stress can take months or years off your life-both Proctor and the Harvard survey agree on one thing: you must take action by taking steps to reduce workplace stress.

It's normal to experience some stress at work. But too much of it lowers your productivity along with your physical and emotional well-being. As mentioned previously, you need to deal with it. "Managing stress is the key to reversing these outcomes," concludes the Harvard/Stanford survey.

Can workplace stress be managed and ameliorated?

Of course it can. But you need to take the responsibility by blowing off steam in healthy ways by using stress-busters (SBs) that work for you.

Before listing some of the SBs, let's take a look at self-induced stress from drinking, drugging, or smoking. Those symptoms are the easiest to cure. That's because all you need to do is stop doing what's causing the symptoms. If you're having trouble quitting something, join a self-help group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

Six powerful stress-busters that allow you to blow off steam in healthy ways

SB #1: EXERCISE. It's a powerful stress reliever and makes you feel better. Find an exercise-like walking, swimming, cycling, or working out at a gym-that acts as a stress buster that works for you. You can even do some simple stretching exercises at your desk. It's well known that exercise helps you deal with stress.

SB #2. Listen to music-the kind that soothes you.

SB #3. TAKE A NAP or meditate. I've discovered twenty minutes of meditating during the day provides more energy and makes me feel more refreshed than napping.

SB #4. READ A BOOK that interests you. When I was a college freshman, I found a paperback novel lying around the dorm and found that reading a few pages between periods of study and at odd moments during the day relaxed my mind. I still read for relaxation.

SB#5. TALK TO SOMEONE you trust or see a mental health practitioner.

SB#6. BE WILLING TO QUIT YOUR JOB and start searching for another. Even if you don't quit, a willingness to do so will ease your tension. Why? Because you committed to doing something about it and believe that relief is in sight.

The reversal of stress symptoms

I've already mentioned that you-not your boss-are responsible for reversing your symptoms. Your employer doesn't give a hang about your job satisfaction or the trajectory of your career. Whether your workplace stress is created by conditions surrounding your work-like a crazy boss-or self induced by how you think, live, and manage your work environment, you are responsible for fixing it.

Don't give up this responsibility.

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How Do We Know If We Can Trust Someone?

Many of us trust too easily only to discover that we were betrayed. Others of us don't trust at all. Trusting too quickly, or not trusting at all, usually says more about us than about the other person. Trust is not something that we want to automatically do when we meet someone. We also don't want to automatically mistrust someone either. Some of us experience an involuntary response to trust, or not to trust, and neither one of these extremes serve us well.

Trust is something that takes time. It's a process.

Trust is a process

When I say, trust is a process, it means that it takes time to get to know someone. If we enter a relationship at a slow and steady pace, we will discover more about who the other person's true self. We can then determine whether they can be trusted with our feelings, and our shared personal information, because our trust is the greatest gift we can give someone.

Finding the Balance

Some of us were betrayed early in life, and we don't trust easily because of that. Others so desperately want to be in a relationship, or a friendship, that we rush to trust someone to make that happen. We don't give ourselves the opportunity, and time, to get to know that person to determine if they are trustworthy, or not.

In adulthood, often not being able to trust a friend, or a potential romantic partner, may be because we have been betrayed in our childhood, adolescence, or at some time as an adult. The person desiring our trust may very well be trustworthy, however we may not be able to recognize this due to our history.

Our Past Relationships Reflected in The Present

One of the first big tasks of our lives is establishing trust versus mistrust. As a child, we develop a sense that our needs will be met, versus a sense that they won't. Our view of the world is often determined by how secure we feel that we can rely on others for our expectations to be met. If we have had good, consistent relationships in the past, we may assume as much from our current and future relationships, and trust too easily based upon this experience.

If our parents, or our experiences in past relationships, were inconsistent in meeting our needs, we may fear current and future relationships will respond the same way. We make ourselves vulnerable when we trust. Withholding our trust may be used as self-preservation to protect us from being hurt again. How can I trust myself from past mistakes?

It's Not You, It's Me

Sometimes it is challenging to differentiate to determine if we are not feeling trustworthy of someone else. Is it about them? Or is it about our own history? So many times, I have heard during psychotherapy sessions that, "My friend is talking about other people and I'm uncomfortable. I don't know if I ought to trust them or not."

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How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People?

The trouble with passive-aggression is that both the giver and the receiver often have no idea what's really going on. In other words, the person who's passive-aggressive (P-A) may know he hates conflict, may know he's feeling a little angry and may know he's covering it up. But he doesn't register how rancorous he really feels.

The person who's the object of the P-A's anger may never know what hit him because the rancor is well disguised. Consequently these incidents go largely unacknowledged for what they really are-hostility.

If you love a passive-aggressive person, you are probably making excuses for him on a regular basis. "Oh he can't help procrastinating, he's got so much on his plate." In truth, he procrastinates finishing the job you need to make you suffer. He never wanted to do it in the first place. Or, you defend his disturbing joke with something like this: "He's such a kidder." Really, the joke was not funny at all. Instead, it was thinly veiled hostility.

Identify hostile behavior.

There's that word again. Hostility. Once you realize the root of your loved one's passive-aggressive behavior is hostility, you can begin to deal with the problem. The first thing to do is stop making excuses for him. After all, he's really behaved in a hostile way toward you. And you've probably let him have his way without calling him on it. Perhaps for years. Now is the time to acknowledge that while the hostility is not overt, it's there, and maybe even more damaging than obvious anger. So what can you do?

Tell him the truth and consequences.

When a P-A is late and causes you to wait, or procrastinates, and puts your project in jeopardy, don't let him get away with it. Be open and honest enough to let him know that he's inconvenienced you. Repeatedly. Let him know that if he does this again you won't wait for him. Let him know that if he procrastinates you'll get someone else to partner with on your project. And then follow through and do it.

Call him on his dishonesty.

If your passive-aggressive mate tells you he supports your efforts to diet, and then fills the fridge with ice cream and cookies, you know one thing. He actually does not support your diet. Actions speak louder than words, and in this case, the P-A is not telling you the truth when he speaks. He is sabotaging you. You need to tell him so in an assertive and respectful way. You may not be able to change his behavior, but at least you have brought the issue out into the open.

When you confront a P-A with the truth about his behavior, you may also point out that it's often just as detrimental to him as it is to you. When he expresses his anger in an unhealthy way, sometimes it causes even more conflict-the one thing passive-aggressive people find so difficult to tolerate. When he sweeps an unpleasant issue under the rug, it really doesn't hide the problem-it only prolongs it. Being straightforward with him about his behavior can help you both.

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How To Handle With Your Negative Thoughts

Do you often find yourself overwhelmed with negative thoughts? Do you even notice that you have a habit of contemplating on the worst case scenarios? Are you paralyzed by fear and unable to take action on things you know you should do?

And most important, have you ever questioned yourself on how you can stop yourself from being so negative?

Maybe you've just allowed yourself fall into the habit of seeking solace in negative thoughts. Whether we realize it or not, there's a comfort in negativity that's just not always there in a positive outlook. Does that sound paradoxical?

Being positive requires courage. It's an ability to accept mistakes fully and claim ownership of them.

It means living in a certain amount of discomfort. It means leaning towards your edge of comfort zone and expanding it daily. It means choosing what's possible instead of what's known.

The truth about life is that personal growth can only occurs when we grow through discomfort and find the next place of discomfort to navigate.

That's fine when we look at someone who tends to drown themselves in a kind of helplessness, but most people get scared when they experience anything remotely involving a negative thought. They have a negative thought that feeling discomfort means they are about to become depressed and they won't be able to get out of that emotional state.

Such people would do well to stop attaching themselves to random emotions. The emotion might come and go, but has no effect on the person unless they choose to grab hold of it.

Either way, the biggest mistake people make is to see negativity and positivity as polar opposites.

Black and white. Right or wrong. Yes or no.

The world is full of multiple shades of grey, and a healthy approach would be to remain mindful of 2 facts:

#1 Everything has flaws, no matter how perfect it seems from the outside. 

#2 Every flaw has positive features, no matter how defected they look from the outside.

By remaining realistic this way, it's much easier to experience emotions as steady, rather than disruptive mood swings.

So, forget about just trying to make yourself be positive, like jamming a square peg into a round hole.

Instead, begin looking at everything that's positive as a force for good in your life, and everything that's negative as a minor stimulus for you to grow.

How your emotions affect you depend on how much you actively allow them to do so.

Don't allow something temporary take hold of how you feel generally about something. A momentary, impulsive behaviour on the part of your friends wouldn't influence you to cease your friendship forever, so why would you allow a momentary feeling of negativity influence you to maintain a negative outlook of the world for the rest of your life?

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Ten Terrific Self Motivating Tips

No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another is provide them with incentives to motivate themselves. Here are ten very effective strategies to help you get up and get moving toward actualizing your enormous, untapped potential.

Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your potential is your comfort zone. Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.

Don't indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.

Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your birthright so don't settle for anything else.

Spend at least one hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring tapes. 

Driving to and from work provides an excellent opportunity to listen to self-improvement tapes.

Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we try to accomplish a task. Finish one task before you begin another.

Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you aren't able to make things happen in the present.

Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, " Joy is the serious business of heaven."

Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just around the corner.

Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to the law of expectation then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.

The real tragedy in life is not in how much we suffer, but rather in how much we miss, so don't miss a thing.

Charles Dubois once said, " We must be prepared, at any moment, to sacrifice who we are for who we are capable of becoming."

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5 Truths About Self-Improvement and Toxic Friends

When you start to make positive changes and improve yourself, you expect your friends to be excited and happy for you. Nobody expects a close friendship to turn toxic, but unfortunately it happens. I can tell you firsthand that it's devastating when once close friendships crash and burn during a time that should be exciting for you. Toxic friendships don't always mean that your best friend is actively sabotaging you Mean Girls style, they can happen when you have simply grown apart and chosen different paths. Read my 5 truths about personal growth and toxic friendships and see if anything resonates with you.

Creating personal growth in your life won't sit well with some friends

If you are transforming your life with positive changes, whether it's gaining confidence in yourself, losing weight, maybe starting a new career, you're going to lose friends. Period. People who aren't comfortable with change will find your evolving life hard to swallow, maybe because it reminds them that they are stagnant in life, or maybe they aren't used to you standing up for yourself. Maybe your whole friendship was based on the negative behaviors that you kicked. Self improvement will expose the friends that don't have your best interests at heart. Be prepared to lose friends, for it to hurt a lot, and then to get over it and feel happy. Losing friends may not seem like it, but it can be a blessing in disguise.

A toxic friend is not necessarily a bad person

The thing about toxic friends is that sometimes they don't mean to be toxic at all and are generally pretty good people outside of your shaky friendship. Maybe they just are terrified of change, and can't understand your new perspective. Most toxic friends come in the form of people who aren't supportive of your successes, talk behind your back, or are judgmental of your goals. I'm talking about the friends who leave you feeling drained, negative, or down about yourself every time you see them.They aren't bad people but that doesn't change the fact that they are toxic to your personal growth. Take a good hard look at your friendships and notice who is trying to get you to go back to your bad habits, who cuts you off when you're sharing something you're proud of, who tells you you're not a good friend because you're not putting all your attention on them. Those are the kind of people you don't need.

Ending the friendship doesn't have to be dramatic.

I can look at my former group of friends with love and respect for the time we spent together, but at the same time know that they are toxic to my improved self. I don't spend my time gossiping, but I used to with them. I don't like to have shallow surface conversations all the time, but I used to with them. I don't spend my time complaining about the present while reminiscing about the past, but I used to with them.I chose to be positive, work towards the future instead of being stuck in the past, and stop making fun of people because it made me feel better about myself, and unfortunately that caused some awkwardness and distance in the friendship. People grow apart and choose different paths, and my path just didn't have room for their negative energy. I'm not saying to cut off friends who don't agree with you all the time or who have different goals than you, I'm saying it's important to have friends who are authentic. Ending a friendship doesn't have to be a big, dramatic fight. You could try to discuss how you're feeling with them if you're interested in saving the friendship; maybe they don't realize how they're affecting you and can shift their attitude. If that's not the case, you have two options: you can directly say you need some space, or slowly stop hanging out with them. Leaving it on a good note leaves room for re-connection if you feel they may grow in the future.

Leaving toxic friendships will free up your energy and time to spend on supportive relationships

Here's the hard part: even though they don't mean to be toxic, and are generally good people, they're still toxic and you have to move on. Leaving a friendship is just as hard as leaving a romantic relationship, especially if you still love and respect that friend. I had to do it, and it bothered me for the better part of a year. I asked myself the same things over and over "why don't my best friends understand me, why are they so caught up in trivial and negative things"? I lost sleep over it, cried about it, yelled about it, but in the end, I came to understand it was for the best. Now, I only spend my time with people who celebrate me, support me, and love me unconditionally, and who I celebrate, support and love. It's an amazing feeling to be surrounded by people I know only want the best for me. I'm happier, more confident, more fulfilled, more inspired! Great things come from dropping the toxic friends.

Never hide your positive progress because a friend isn't happy for you

Toxic friends have their own underlying issues that are causing them to act in an un-supportive way towards you, don't take it personally. It's an indicator that they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, so it's not you it's them. Just because people aren't happy about your amazing progress doesn't mean you should hide it. Shine bright like a diamond yo, you worked hard to manifest change in your life, don't let a few doubters dull your success. Surround yourself with friends who are proud of you and push you to do better. Assess your circle and only keep the awesome people around. Any friend who doesn't leave you feeling uplifted, supported, and happy doesn't need to be a friend, and life is too short to associate people who don't appreciate the beautiful soul that you are. Just know that you are not the only person to go through this. It may feel lonely now, but soon you'll find people who will appreciate who you are and who you're trying to be, and it won't feel forced or lonely. Always follow your intuition, if someone is constantly bringing you down, it may be time to reconsider the friendship.

Have you had any encounters with personal growth and toxic friendships? Tell me about it in the comments below! It would be AMAZING to hear your story!

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7 Tips for a Successful Life

It is a sad fact of this life in its current form that has a staggeringly high percentage of the general population suffering from low self-esteem.

Some estimates have this figure at an astounding 85%!

Challenges of kicking bad habits or just a general low self belief can make this life hard - much harder than it has to be!

Keeping up the proper mindset to attract more abundance of what we want out of life is hard. Daily challenges continue and will always continue to hit us. The key lies in ensuring that we are adjusting our thoughts and processes during the day to ensure that we maintain the proper understanding and belief required to attract what we want in our lives and expel the negativity that will continuously try to enter our lives like a thief in the night.

Make no mistake, it is a dangerous thief. One that creeps into your life and makes itself at home. Worse than that, we actually start to believe what this nefarious creature whispers into our ears and end up with a life that we truly don't want, or need.

There are things that we can do to keep the beast at bay and vanquished. Below are some tips that I hope will help you.

1: Highway to the Danger Zone.

To build up your self-confidence you must get outside of that comfort zone. Each and every single day put yourself into a situation that makes you uncomfortable in some way. You will soon realise that you are more capable than what you currently think.

2: Compliments

Everyone loves to hear a compliment. Make sure that the compliment is legitimate and not forced. People can see through an unreal compliment and you will come across as sleazy, a liar or worse.

Handing out compliments to those who truly deserve one will come back to you ten-fold.

What's the worst that can happen? You make someone else's day a little brighter for it?

3: Expel The Positivity Thief

Pay CLOSE attention to your inner voice throughout the day. This sneaky little thief will squirm itself into your life if you don't pay attention.

Don't call yourself foolish, an idiot, stupid, fat or ugly. Boost your own self-esteem and improve your self-confidence by boosting your positive attitude to the fore. Catch that positivity thief and expel them into the nether regions where they belong!

4: Stake The Energy Vampires

You know the ones I'm talking about. People in your life that seem to suck the life right out of you!

Be wary and selective in who you let into your inner circle. Some of those that purport to be our closest allies are actually energy vampires. They appear to give you 'advice' that actually impedes you in achieving what you desire. They instill and plant the seeds of doubt that will feed the positivity thief. Inch by inch, step by step they will lead you to a path that is NOT of YOUR choosing.

Look closely at those around you. If it appears that they are literally sucking the life out of you then they most likely are. You know what you need to do, no need for me to spell it out here.

5: Be Grateful

Make time each and every day to list things that you have to be grateful for.

Take time to record each positive step in the right direction. The end goal is that much closer for each and every step in the right direction taken.

Feel good for those small steps, you are on the path that YOU HAVE chosen for yourself.

This will provide further positive momentum and self-confidence to take the next step. Very soon you will be able to look back at the path and be totally amazed by how far you have come.

Be grateful for these steps and don't fear to compliment yourself on each! You are moving in the right direction, whatever direction that may be for you and you deserve to complimented!

6: Ask!

This one seems to be a no-brainer but I'm constantly amazed at how this simple one is overlooked so often.

Ask for what you want. The worst thing that can happen is you get a NO, which will be the outcome if you don't ask!

7. Be An Active Listener.

People love to talk about themselves. It seems to be an ingrained thing in this life as it currently stands. The best 'conversationalists' that I have come across in life are those that actually do more listening than talking.

Our perceptions on what others want to hear are very often skewed and incorrect. Actively listen to these people and you will be amazed by the amount of doors that will open up for you. Doors that you probably weren't even aware existed.

Being an active listener is a skill that needs to be worked on. Catch yourself from interjecting your thoughts while the other person is still talking. Don't fidget with that pen. Make eye contact.

Make the talker understand that they hold your full attention and that you are paying attention.

There's no doubt that you will have read or heard the above tips numerous times. Pick and choose the ones that you can implement now. I have no doubt that your self-esteem and self-confidence will pick up and you will have no boundaries. This is the point that your life becomes truly that - YOURS.

Have you applied these tips in your life?

Share your story about how some of these tips have helped change your life. 

I would love to hear them!

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Being Comfortable With Uncertainty

"If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future - look into your present actions," states the Chinese Proverb.

Reality is filled with uncertainty.

Seldom do we have an exact picture of the path ahead, so we accept what arises with determined courage.

It is natural to uphold a level of control, yet we need uncertainty to prevail since the seeds of opportunity lie in the unexpected.

At a deeper level, we fear uncertainty because we lack the life skills to navigate through it. Recognised as the mind's negativity bias, we doubt our capacity to cope with the unexpected and exaggerate events to the detriment of our mental and emotional wellbeing.

With so much talk of stress these days, we need to know what the imminent future holds in store for us. Yet the security we crave for is but an illusion to lull us into a false sense of safety.

Author David Rock states in Your Brain at Work, "The brain craves certainty. A sense of uncertainty about the future and feeling out of control both generate strong limbic system responses."

As a result your brain looks to your external environment to reinforce a known sense of balance. In primitive times our ancestors had to contend with a variety of conditions to sustain life. The threat of wild animals, adjusting to climatic conditions, fear of attack from rival tribes and the outbreak of disease, were barriers to their survival.

Thankfully, life in the modern world is not as bleak, yet is replete with its own stressors which pose a hazard to our wellbeing. Uncertainty for the modern man is contained within: intimate relationships, volatile economies, uncertain job security, weather fluctuations and health concerns.

Bruce Hood affirms in his book The Self Illusion, "... in situations where outcomes are important, we get stressed by uncertainty and feel the need to do something so that we can have the illusion that we can control events."

To retain binding command of our lives is both a blessing and curse. In one way it affirms our sense of safety, knowing we need not contend with tentative conditions. On the other hand, its misleading bias is overstated by our limited control, if any.

It is no surprise that the mind is notorious for emphasizing circumstances which appear less dramatic than they are. Known in psychology as catastrophizing, the inherent bias to perceive events within a negative context.

The fear of "not knowing" what lies ahead impedes our long term welfare. At a deeper level, fear of the future terrifies us because of the unfamiliar conditions which lie ahead. It interferes with attaining emotional freedom.

So how can we embrace the unexpected without the barrage of emotions which ensue?

To accept uncertainty in our lives requires a change in perspective. We yield to the intrinsic forces of life instead of oppose them. However uncomfortable it may seem, we surrender to the natural order of events by leaning in to our fears and insecurities.

You reason with your anxieties by perceiving them with a logical mind instead of becoming embroiled in them. Otherwise, we risk activating our fight or flight nervous system every time, which senses we are in imminent danger instead of being uncomfortable.

Remain present in your body when anxiety threatens your emotional well being. Choose a proper time to examine the motivation for your anxiety.

Have there been moments in the past which caused similar anxiety?

If so, are you repeating those same feelings instead of facing them?

Fear is a confronting emotion, though we gain strength when we embrace it as a useful emotion. I often remind myself that fear is an illusion. I can reduce the volume of fear by being exposed to it moderately each time.

We rarely have all the answers, which means uncertainty is as much an inner declaration that everything will turn out well in due course. It strengthens our resolve and commitment to the natural cycles of life. Change in itself is terrifying, not the conditions themselves.

The key lesson is to be comfortable with uncertainty - why? Because it exists and we should avoid retreating in resignation wishing life were different.

We evolve by being exposed to uncertainty and confronting our fears, otherwise they dominate our mental landscape and grow in intensity. To that extreme that which we oppose must be met head on.

It was the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius who declared, "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

Find middle ground between living with uncertainty and maintaining a level of control, short of manipulating outcomes. Let go of tension, anxiety and fear by embracing the unknown. Consider uncertainty a worthwhile journey toward a daring future.

Uncertainty allows us to re-evaluate the past and make new choices in light of what transpires. It presents opportunities to create a compelling future based on new information. Often, our most ambitious plans emerge through the obscuring veil of uncertainty.

Welcome curiosity and excitement which go with uncertainty by affirming your belief to move through it with ease. The vital lesson is to expose yourself to uncertainty by building your tolerance to it.

To know the future, we must become acquainted with our present actions while embracing uncertainty. In doing so, we move toward the unknown with firm ambition to resolve the past.

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How To Be More Optimistic In The Long Term

We probably all have that one friend, one relative, one colleague or one neighbor who is particularly positive and can always see the bright side of the picture.

Sometimes they are kind of annoying. But sometimes they are kind of uplifting as they are trying to bring the best out of us.

In fact, you can possibly be that positivity freak.

However, if you are not naturally inclined to be so positive all the time, you may be confused and wondering how you too can actually learn (or teach yourself) to be more optimistic.

Some people are inherently positive while others are inherently negative. Maybe it's an inborn thing. Maybe it's shaped by their childhood experience.

But are we all capable of transforming ourselves from a negative energy-draining vampire to a positive, happy, self-motivating individual?

The key lies in shifting the way you think about things.

It turns out that optimism is not simply the tendency to believe that things will turn out for the better while pessimism is not just the tendency to think things will turn out poorly.

Instead, these terms are used to describe the way a person thinks about what causes the adversity.

A pessimist tends to think about these things in a way that makes them feel powerless. For example, many pessimists attribute the adversity to internal forces, such as "Oh my god, this ruins everything!", "This is totally out of my control!", or "Oh dear, there is no way I can change this."

It is possible to change the way that you think about things. When you are faced with an adversity you're your default set of thinking makes you conclude that things are negative, take a step back, take a deep breath and let's reconsider it from a different angle.

For example, if you have an upcoming test and you are having difficulty understanding the material that is being covered, it is easy to fall into the line of thinking that you are going to fail. A healthier option is to think about ways you could better understand the material and work on learning and studying what you need in order to get a better grade on the test.

The idea is that if you are thinking you are going to fail, you probably will. Where focus goes, energy flows.

Changing your thought process and studying the material thoroughly is the only sensible option to improve your chances of success.

While our attitudes towards things are sometimes habitual, it is possible to change the way that you think about things, thus learning to be more optimistic about events.

Reading positive affirmations will help, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to reconditioning yourself to re-frame any situations in the most empowering angle so that you consciously attach a positive meaning on it.

Let's build up your awareness, train your focus muscle and transform yourself into a positive human being!

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7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

You have to get to work. You haven’t had a full night’s sleep in months. Life can sometimes be overwhelming. And it seems you can do nothing about it.

A solution does exist, though… It’s called mental strength.

7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

Mental strength can’t be seen physically. Rather, it’s a concept. An idea that you can get through anything. You can persevere. But how do you build it? How do you turn your scared mind into a place of confidence and peace?

Here are 7 key stages to becoming mentally strong:


1. Be Consistent

To begin with, consistency is one of the keys to victory in almost any aspect of life.

You go to the gym to tone up. That’s fine and Dandy, but most people quit after two weeks. The consistency isn’t there. You won’t see the progress if you only work out when you feel like it. You have to be vigilant.

Are you working on a novel? Maybe you’re trying to learn a new language. Or, maybe you’re just trying to get through the day. If you’re consistent with growing as a person and continuously working toward your goal, you’ll eventually reach it.


2. Positivity over Anxiety

Have you ever felt guilty for feeling like you’re not getting anything done while everyone else seem to be powering through their goals? This type of guilt is what leads to self-loathing and anxious tendencies.

This is where positive thinking comes in. Positive thinking may seem like a joke, but science backs it up.

Research has shown that positive thinking is a real skill, with real consequences. Positive emotions and thoughts affect both your physical and your mental perception of the world.

It’s more than just being happy all the time – it’s about being confident and having a healthy self-esteem.

With busy schedules and our high drive to succeed, some of us experience anxiety on a daily basis. Anxiety brings emotional and physical symptoms like restlessness or irritability, insomnia, headaches, and fatigue – symptoms a lot of us accept as normal.


TO DEAL WITH THIS ANXIETY, POSITIVE THINKING CAN HELP. BUT POSITIVE THINKING ISN’T “BEING HAPPY ALL THE TIME.” RATHER, IT’S A WAY OF THINKING AND BELIEVING WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.


Psychologists say that the most effective way to eliminate your anxiety is by learning how to change your thoughts and think with more positive energy.

Challenging these negative thoughts by focusing on what is rational, the positive, the beautiful and the pleasant helps you move forward in the right direction.

Life is going to hit you with unexpected events and circumstances. If you’re going to be mentally strong, it’s important to always keep a positive spin on things.


3. Experience New Things

You have something called a “comfort zone.”

It’s the place where you feel the safest. It may be a physical space (such as your room) or a more metaphorical place (such as the state of your life). While living in the comfort zone is nice, it doesn’t do a whole lot to help you grow.

In order to grow and learn, you need to experience different things in life. Start out small.

Take a different route to work. Order something from your favorite restaurant that you’ve never ordered before. Or ask that person out that you’ve always wanted to ask. You’ll be surprised at how much this can impact you in a positive way.

More importantly, these new experiences will show you that new experiences aren’t so scary, and that you can do it.

4. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

In order to build your mental toughness, it’s important to know why you do what you do. Thinking about your core beliefs not only serves as motivation, but it also helps you establish yourself.

Who are you? What drives you? Knowing who you truly are assists you in establishing your mental toughness. It’s a lot easier to fight for your values when you actually believe in them.


5. Focus on What You Can Control

So many times, you lose focus on life. You get distracted and stressed. While getting rid of stress and distractions is impossible, there’s a strategy that can help you. When life gets to be a bit too much for you, shift your focus onto what you can control.

Many times, you get frustrated because your boss made you stay late for work. Or maybe traffic is backed up for the third time this week and you’re late for an appointment. These experiences don’t have to be frustrating.

Rather, simply admit to yourself that these situations are out of your control.

Relinquishing control to situations in which you have no control is one of the best things you can do. This step alone can vastly improve your mental toughness. Why? Because you don’t let things that you can’t control get to you.

When you focus on what you can control, you’ll find your mental strength will grow.


6. Measure Your Daily Wins

Small victories are much bigger than they may seem. In fact, daily victories can even be applied to your workplace. It’s been proven that small victories in business are some of the best ways to inspire creativity and confidence.

The power of the daily win results from the sense of progression humans rely on.

Known as the “progress principle,” the principle states that workers most value progression in their place of employment. They are more motivated to complete their tasks when they feel they’re working towards something. The same can be found in everyday life.

If you’re having a bad day, just getting out of bed may be a small win for you. If so, then treat it like one. Celebrate! Is your goal to socialize more? Just getting outside and saying “hi” to your neighbor may be your small victory.

Either way, you need small wins to feel a sense of progression. And this progression helps you build confidence, too. Naturally, more confidence will lead to better mental strength. You believe in yourself — thus, you don’t let many things bother you.


7. Reflect on Your Daily Progress

At the end of the day, look back on what you’ve done, how you did it and whether or not you reached your goal. This process of self-reflection helps you recognize both areas for improvement and your strengths.

Not only will this self-reflection show you your strengths, but you’ll also be able to see how you’ve grown. Reflecting is similar, in many ways, to measuring your daily wins.

Building your mental strength takes focus and dedication, but it’s worth it. And the best time to start building this mental strength is right now. Go out and take back your life!


Summary

Here’s a quick breakdown of this article on becoming mentally strong:
Be consistent
Positivity over anxiety
Experience new things
Evaluate your core beliefs
Focus on what you can control
Measure your daily wins
Reflect on your daily progress
Are you interested in becoming mentally strong? Leave a comment below.

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7 Valuable Lessons to Learn While Escaping Your Comfort Zone

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. So if you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, know that the change taking place in your life is the beginning, not the ending.”– Neale Donald Walsch

The comfort zone; one place which destroys all your potential and belief to live an extraordinary life. Living outside of your comfort zone means mental and psychological growth, which we all need to live a happy life and enjoy it to the fullest.


7 Valuable Lessons to Learn While Escaping Your Comfort Zone

I have written this article to motivate you and to encourage you, to give you enough reasons why stepping out of your comfort zone may be the best decision you can make for yourself and your future.

Here are 7 valuable lessons which teach you what life is truly about:


1. You Will Push Your Limits

We all have certain limits in what we can or can’t do. Stepping out of your comfort zone will push those limits and make bigger space for you to expand. What you thought is impossible a few months ago is now part of your daily life. Isn’t it crazy?

Stop for a second right now and think of the one moment when you got out of your way and acted in spite of fear. Think about it and ask yourself, “If I was able to do it back then, why not try it again?”


2. You Will Expand Your Potential

Have you ever thought how much potential and energy you have within you? The amount is enormous. Why don’t you use it? Why not take a chance and see what happens?

People don’t become successful because of the money or the right influences. Individuals who made it to the top knew that comfort zone is a broke zone. They also knew that using their potential is the fuel behind extraordinary results.

Once you start expanding your potential, it will become a habit, a source of euphoria you experience and enjoy it at the same time.


3. You’ll Gain Undeniable Courage

To gain muscles, you need to train them on a constant basis right? The same happens with courage. Only by overcoming a fear of the unknown and going beyond your comfort zone, you will become braver than ever before.


We don’t become courageous by watching House of Cards in our favorite sweatpants in the comfort of our home.

Courage comes in a moment when we decide to fight for what we want no matter the situation or feeling. Feeling will pass, but what we create or become will last much longer.


4. You’ll Become Confident In Yourself

The World outside of your comfort zone may seem scary. We don’t know what is out there, whether pleasant moments or difficulties. But this unknown environment is exactly what build us up, makes us stronger and braver for the future.

Overcoming what we fear builds confidence and healthy self-esteem, which is an essential part of every success in life.

Try to recall the last time you acted in a courageous way and think of the feeling after you have succeeded.

How did you feel about yourself? How did you see yourself when you looked in the mirror? You felt proud; you felt satisfied, and this is exactly the kind of reward you gain by going the extra mile.


5. You’ll Become Stronger & Unstoppable

Living outside of your comfort zone will teach you many lessons.

By getting hit by unpleasant moments and circumstances, you will become stronger every time situation happens, and you overcome it.

This strength will build up your character and shape you as an individual with a powerful mindset, ready to face any challenge along the way.

As you will grow and see the difference you can make in your life and how the power of mind really works, you will become unstoppable in reaching what you desire the most.


6. It Will Excite You to Share It With Others

Once you’ve expanded your mindset and see what is beyond your comfort zone, you will realize that many people are stuck. People don’t believe in themselves, and that’s why they are trying to avoid any opportunity for growth or change.

Not everyone will welcome your advice to follow your path or to try it out. That’s fine.

But there are going to be those individuals who feel as excited as you. I believe it is your and my responsibility to share with others that beyond our limits is a much better world which is worth every single struggle and sacrifice.
7. You’ll Gain Encouragement & Belief to Create Life on Your Terms

By expanding your potential, gaining confidence in yourself and having a clear picture of what is out there, you will feel encouraged and alive.

It will bring you a sense of determination to create a life based on your biggest dreams and desires, the one you want, not your boss or teacher or parents.

Once you practice living life outside of your comfort zone, you will strengthen your belief in yourself and a better life. You’ll get the opportunity to discover a whole new level of possibilities which you had no idea exist.


Conclusion

Eliminate the ceiling above your head.

Get rid of this illusion you have created in your mind where you subconsciously sabotage yourself from growth. Real deal begins when you are willing to feel as uncomfortable as possible.

Fear doesn’t exist; it is a product of your thoughts, and you are the only person who has the power to destroy it.

Once you overcome this fear of the unknown, I guarantee you that you will not want to come back to your ordinary life.

Once you taste the power of your mind, once you grow and see what you are truly capable of, you will begin the most amazing, courageous and insane adventure of creating an extraordinary life.

Are you struggling to move out of your comfort zone? Leave a comment below.

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3 Ways to Get Things Done When You Don't Want To

Everyone experiences that feeling of not being able to get anything done. Not just not getting things done because you ran out of time or had emergencies come up, but rather just that you can't do it. Usually you're mentally out of it or frazzled or just plain aren't able to care enough right now to do anything. It's kind of a mental exhaustion more than anything else. Sometimes we feel physically exhausted because of it too.

What do you do about this? It's not something that you can fix by learning a new skill. You've probably already got the skills to do what needs to be done. It's not something that can be fixed by listening to some motivational speaker most of the time. Motivational speakers often stir up excitement that pushes us over the edge into action. When you're mentally out of it, you're no where near that edge.

Here's a few simple methods I've used over the years to want to get those things done, so I can actually be able to get them done.


Walk away. Somethings you just have to walk away from things and take a break. This might be taking a few days of total relaxation where you don't try to do anything or worry about doing anything. It might mean a few days of vacation somewhere nice and sunny. The important thing is to not think about what needs to be done at all if you can arrange it. When you get back, your mind is often relaxed enough to concentrate on what you have to do.

Delegate it. This one isn't something everyone can do depending on what you're blocked on. If you're a small business owner, there may not be anyone handy to delegate things to. Some things only you can do. However, there are things even small business owners can delegate. There's plenty of options to outsource work on the internet. There's temporary help you can hire locally. Heck, sometimes you can get your family to help out. The key is to get someone to ease your load and so you can ease your mind.

Just don't do it. Let it go. Just don't do it. The majority of things get stuck on or mentally check out when they come up are things that we rarely absolutely have to do. There's a small number of things that are so critical to our personal and professional lives that we absolutely have to do without fail if we don't want to cause a catastrophe. The things we just can't get ourselves to do are rarely thing things that earn us the most money, get the most clients, get the most things done or please the boss the most.



What's the common thread here? We give ourselves a break. Why? So we can work through whatever's keeping us from being able to do the things we think we should without the added pressure of feeling guilty for not doing them.




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Tips To Have A Positive Attitude

The quality of one's life is governed by his or her attitude. There are occasions when success remains evasive and there are times when you succeed without least expecting it! Your personal development and success depends to a great extent on your attitude. People with a negative attitude are generally pessimistic and have a negative approach and are avoided by others. Not only do they lead a miserable lifestyle, even those associated with such people get influenced by this attitude. On the contrary people with positive attitudes attract like-minded people. They are full of enthusiasm and radiate confidence.

In order to therefore succeed in life, you need positive people around you who experience great things in their life and people who love to live their life to the fullest.

Take some of the following simple steps to develop a positive attitude.

Think Positive: Learn to develop a positive mind-set. Ignore negativity and keep it away when it creeps into your mind. Simply brush it off.

Talk Positive : Cultivate the habit of using positive words in your conversation. Pessimism creates negative vocabulary while optimism automatically turns your conversation into positivity.

Change your outlook: It is like saying "The glass is half full" not "The glass is half empty". Your outlook on anything brings out the optimism or pessimism in you. Let circumstances and disappointments not discourage you.

Love what you do: To put it differently 'Do what you Love'. When you do what you love, it brings out the best performance from you. There may arise a situation when you have to do something you do not like. Do it anyway and enjoy the process as perhaps that is the only option to achieve your result.

Encourage others: As you sow, so you reap. Encourage and compliment others on their success and positive attitudes. This in itself will give you lot of happiness and get positive returns.

Affirmations: Several times during the day repeat self affirmations. Over a period of time these self affirmations will become part of your system in such a way that negativity will stay away from you.

Expect the best Always : Give no room for doubt. You deserve the best. Demand it in your mind and go after it.

Regularly following and adopting the above few points and referring to several other personal development resources will help develop positive attitude which in turn will give you happiness and success in your life. Since it is your life that you have to live, why should you not deserve the best?

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How to Define Your Own Destiny?

How to Define Your Own Destiny?

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." Anthony Robbins.

Have you ever wondered the importance of our daily's routine decisions? More than we could possibly imagine. In order to define your future and reshape your destiny there are some steps that one should follow. All of them are based in "the moments of your decisions".

Most of us tend to ignore the magnitude of these three crucial ones.


Focus on things you enjoy.
Interpretation of life.
Willingness for Success.



Focus on things you enjoy.

Firstly, DETECT the things that thrill you, that interest you the most and make them part of your life.

Achieving that, requires some simple questions to yourselves first.


What are the things I like doing?
Do they make me happy in long-term?
How can I reach to the success?



So, the first decision is related with the things you choose to focus on!

Interpretation of life.

Secondly, how you choose to interpret things to your life?

If you approach situations you encounter in your daily basis in a negative way, you've already lost the game. If you interpret your attempts for reaching your goal as a failure, every experiment stands as a dead end. Eventually you walk away sporadically from your goal. If you face any snag as a "conviction" of your primary plan, you will end up distancing yourself from your own first decision. So, stick to it and no matter what, keep on trying till it finally works out. Did you know that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was rejected 12 times? Also, a publisher advised J.K. Rowling "not to quit her current job, because you she was an inadequate writer"! Can you imagine? But still, she kept in focusing in her goals.

How can I reach success?

The third decision and the most important one is what are you willing to do about it? What are you willing to sacrifice - (I assure you that there has to be some of that, too) -but in the end you would have enjoyed those moments as well. Whatever the decisions you make, you always have to show adaptability, you will examine the outcome and use the knowledge as a result of better judgment in the future.

Remember, if someone else is more successful than you in a specific field, that automatically means this person has made different decisions of yours in the same situation or under the same circumstances.










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Self-Development: Is Being Curious An Important Part Of Being Able To Heal?

Self-Development: Is Being Curious An Important Part Of Being Able To Heal?

If one had a TV that stopped working, there is a strong chance that they would want to know why. This comes down to the fact that if they were to simply ignore it, they wouldn't be able to watch anything.

Being curious about what is taking place is then going to have a positive effect on their life, and this is not something that will cause them to experience pain. If it did, it could be because they will have to end up paying money in order for it to be fixed, and this will cause them to experience discomfort.

Not As Bad

However, even if one did have to pay to get the TV fixed, it is unlikely to be as painful as it would be if they had to go without one. As a result of this, they are going to be willing to tolerate the pain that they would have to go through.

This is an approach that one will take in many others areas of their life, and it will stop them from having to suffering unnecessarily. If one was unable to respond in this way when something isn't right, it would cause them a lot of problems.

Pleasure and Pain

One way of looking at this would be to say that through having the ability to experience pain, it gives one has ability to take action. Therefore, through paying attention to this pain, it will then allow one to experience pleasure.

But even though that is the case, it could be said that it is the need to know what is wrong that will get the ball moving, so to speak. Without having this need, there would be no reason for one to do anything.

Not Separate

Still, if one didn't experience some kind of discomfort, there is the chance they wouldn't have the need to be curious. Thus, it might be better to say that these two things are not separate, and they rely on each other in order to function.

But with that aside, what this emphasises is how important it is for one to be curious when it comes to solving a problem. When this doesn't exist, it can mean that one will end up putting up with something that will cause them to suffer in one way or another.

Pain

What this will then mean is that the pain they are experiencing will be overlooked and one will try to carry on with their life. But while this might work in the short-term, it is unlikely to work in the long-term.

This is an approach that one can take when they have mental and emotional problems and/or when their relationships are not going as they would like them to go. One is then not facing their life head on; they are doing what they can to avoid it.

The Traditional Route

Now, this is not to say that one won't go and see their doctor about what is going on for them, as they could end up being put on some kind of medication. Yet even if one was to do this, it doesn't mean that it would allow them to heal thesmevles or to improve their relationships.

What this could result in is one being disconnected from how they feel, and this is not exactly going to make their life more fulfilling. Along with this, the side effects could end up causing them even more problems as time goes on.

Resistance

And while being curious about why their life is the way it is would give them the chance to move forward, it will also cause them to experience pain. It is then similar to one wanting to go into a dark room to find out what is in there, but the fear of what they may find stops them from having a look.

This powerful ability is then going to be out of action and one will continue to experience life in the same way. It is then not going to be someone else who is holding them back; they are going to be the ones who are sabotaging their life.

Problems

It can then be normal for them to put up with feeling depressed, down, fearful and/or anxious, for instance. Their relationships could be unfulfilling, or they could be abusive in some way.

The people around them could tell them to stay strong and be supportive of what they are going through, but this is not going to change their life. Alternatively, one could be surrounded by people who act as though they have it all together and they could try to rescue them.

Being Curious

If one was to get to the point where they have had enough of suffering, it could cause them to look for answers. They are then aware that this will cause them to experience even more pain, but this won't stop them.

Perhaps they realise that even though this pain might be stronger, it is unlikely to be something that will last forever. This is because the mental and emotional problems that one can have as an adult can be symptoms of something that took place in the past, as can their relational challenges.

A Process

If one was to look for answers, they could end up doing an internet search and/or reading a book, for instance. The first step has then been taken, and they could soon find what they are looking for.

This is not to say that this will be it, as they could soon have the desire to find out about something else. One could also look for something and find that they can't find the answer straight away, but this is part of life.

Awareness

At the end of the day, one's personal growth is important, and even if one can't find something or what they do doesn't work, it doesn't mean they should give up. The main thing is that one keeps going, and through being this way, there is the chance they will gradually find what they are looking for and heal themselves in the process.









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