Don't Let Stress Get the Best of You

We all have felt like we are under situations where our to-do lists seem endless; our days and nights become one but the overwhelming task just doesn't end. Situations when deadlines are fast approaching and you catch yourself saying 'My goodness, I am under so much stress'. That is a good understanding of stress.

But what is stress?

It is a condition under which the body feels like it is under attack and it switches to a 'fight or flight' mode. There are a lot of chemicals released in your body like cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine that change the functions of your body. All the unnecessary bodily functions shut down to help you escape this attack.

Let's use an example to better understand the fight or flight response of the body. Imagine you are walking down a lonely street and you are carrying enough money to enjoy a dinner with your friends at a five-star restaurant. Suddenly, a man jumps at you from behind a tree and points a knife at you. You could do one of the two things- 

Fight: you will make an attack strategy to knock down the thief and your body will prepare you for it.

Flight: you will look for the easiest escape route and run for your life, maybe even screaming for help on your way.

Let's list some causes that could give you stress in your life.

• Fast approaching deadlines at work or studying in a crunch time during exams. 

• Facing financial difficulties or road blocks in relationships. 

• Thinking you are not good enough for any task and feeling guilty for being a burden on everyone. 

• Not being flexible enough therefore having difficulty in adjusting to new situations. 

• Not being able to adjust or compromise easily. 

• Getting easily affected by anything pessimistic that others say.

Now we should look at the symptoms of stress; the ways in which we can recognize ourselves under stress.

• Difficulty in concentrating on the task at hand. 

• Not being able to remember small things you wouldn't forget otherwise. 

• Seeing negativity in everything. It becomes very difficult to see the glass half full. 

• Constantly worrying or being anxious. 

• Isolating yourself from everyone. 

• Feeling irritable or moody.

Stress is manageable. Before it gets out of hand we must learn to control it. Here are ways to keep stress from getting out of hand.

Adopt efficiency- when you have to many things to finish, make a time table and follow 

it closely. That way you will get everything done little by little and it won't stress you out.

Meditate- when your body starts reacting under stress, meditating will help you stay calm and on top of things.

Learn to say no- when you already have too much work to finish and someone gives you more work, don't feel bad in saying no. It is important to not wear yourself out. 

Eat right- when you are under stress you could either lose your appetite or it could become bigger than usual. But you must learn to eat the right kind of things and in an appropriate proportion.

Get enough sleep- but trying to finish all your work and skipping sleep, you won't be helping yourself. Your body will get tired faster and you will lose energy more quickly. 

You may be thinking that stress is a bad thing to have and you will try to escape it all the time. But don't worry, stress is good. It is only when you're under stress that you can push yourself to do better and achieve the impossible. You only have to keep it under control.

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Your Limiting Beliefs Are Hurting You

If you are like many of us, you have probably gotten to a point where you have realized that you are not at the place in your life where you had hoped to be. Whether it is your finances, your weight, your relationships, you career or any other area of your life. What most people don't realize is that when you do not have what you desire to have, it is because deep down in your subconscious mind, there are various limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

As we have talked about in other articles, these limiting beliefs are not even in our conscious awareness. We may not even know that they exist. Once you are aware of the fact that your limiting beliefs are actually preventing you from achieving what you want, then you can start to dig a little deeper to determine what they are, clear them out and get on your way to achieving those things that you want.

I for one have struggled with beliefs about money. One of the beliefs is that there was "never enough money". Since I truly believed this to the core of me, I would keep manifesting situations of lack and then seeing for myself that there never was enough. I kept reliving the same feelings about money because that is what I truly believed. Part of this was from my parents and some of it was from past religious beliefs telling me that God gives us only what we need for the day. I made up that I could only have enough to get by and no extra. Once I was able to let go and counteract that belief and affirm to myself that there is an endless supply of money in the Universe, the belief lost its grip on me, and money started showing up from unusual sources and various ways.

Sadly, most of us have had these and other beliefs for years and have created multiple layers. We can become aware of one layer and clear it and a couple of days, weeks or months later, it may appear again. It doesn't mean that you never cleared it the first time, but that there are deeper layers for healing. Be patient with yourself as you can eventually clear them and depending on how embedded in your subconscious they are, will determine how easy they are to get rid of. Sometimes they are more of a challenge to get rid of as they have become a part of our identity and we don't know what or who we would be without them.

I recently had to face a painful realization of a belief that I had been holding on to unknown to me. It started to surface a couple of months ago and I faced it and thought I had cleared it. It now sounds like such a ridiculous thought. The belief was " I don't deserve to be happy". If you would have asked me a few months ago, I would have sworn that I knew I deserved to be happy. But deep down, my subconscious mind was resisting this thought and it started to feel really uncomfortable when I would say those words to myself.

I grew up in a chaotic, high stress, abusive household. So as a child, when I may have been feeling happy minding my own business (and I am a naturally happy person) and then out of left field came anger and raging, I may have instantly told myself that I shouldn't be happy or I don't deserve to be. When this pattern continued on a regular basis, I had no choice to say to myself, " See, I was happy and someone got mad at me so clearly I shouldn't be happy".

I continued to seek these types of relationships where there was erratic behavior and raging to confirm that exact subconscious belief. Despite the fact that I always woke up happy, something would always happen, whether it was my own painful thoughts or actions or words by anther. I had no idea in my conscious mind until recently when it came blaring to my attention.

As this new and deeper layer came to surface, I became more sensitive and was blaming more because I was feeling uncomfortable. I found myself having a great day and then finding something to turn it rough. How could I be happy if my true belief was I didn't deserve to be? I caught myself starting to sabotage my own happiness and the happiness of others around me to stay aligned with my beliefs. I didn't want them to be happy because then I had to face my own pain. It was quite painful to me at a conscious level because I really wanted to be happy, but somehow, it was like a comfortable slipper for my subconscious mind when I was not happy.

It was a sick cycle and I could not believe what I had created in my mind from the time I was a child. This could have kept me captive for the rest of my life had I not faced it head on due to the fact it was causing problems in my most precious relationship. Life would be great for a quick time but it would never stay that way or even close. I saw what I was doing and had to bring it to a screeching halt. I had no idea where the behavior was coming from and was embarrassed by my unforeseen reactions.

We have all our answers within us and we just have to ask for it to be revealed. I sought the answer within and then I was able to address the belief, release it and counteract it. Wow, it was freedom from bondage I didn't even know I was in.

Sometimes, there is something within us that is not ready to face the truth and it may take a while for the answer to come. If that is the case, be patient and know it is for your highest and best.

Clearing these beliefs may be a breeze for some and more of a challenging for others especially those who grew up in dysfunctional homes. I always remind our readers that although it may be painful to face, inside that Pandora's box is a beautiful treasure chest. Happy treasure hunting! Namaste

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10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously, during this time I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

He came for a surprise visit this past weekend, and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend.

When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

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3 Tips To Upgrade Your Morning Routine

Having a morning routine is one of the best ways to kick-start a day in the most productive, positive and healthy manner and be energized and motivated throughout the whole day.

It takes time to form it as a habit. You begin by waking up earlier than you have to and investing that time in some activities that are good for your mind, body and soul. Over time, you add new elements to it like meditating, working out, creating your to-do list for the day, organizing things to save time later on, etc.

For some people, however, it never gets easier no matter how long they've been having a ritual to start the day successfully. Sometimes, it's still a struggle and you realize you can't become a morning person, don't find enough joy in this whole thing, aren't as effective as you should and feel upset because of all this.

If that sounds familiar, then here are some tips to deal with your morning routine struggle, and take your mornings to the next level by making the most of every minute:

1. Go to bed with intention.

In life you should always know why you do what you do. A reason becomes a purpose and makes everything easier and meaningful. To apply that approach to how you start your day means to decide to have a powerful morning routine the night before, go to bed with that thought in mind and prepare to prevent failing.

Here are some things you can do tonight for a highly productive and inspiring early morning:

Write down why your morning ritual matters to you and how it can change your life - doing that before sleep gets the message to your subconscious mind and you truly believe in the power of starting the day this way. You'll wake up motivated to do all the morning habits you desire.

Be excited about it - look forward to leaving bed earlier tomorrow morning. Remember that few people find the willpower to actually get up earlier than they have to and use that extra time to become more disciplined, organized, energized and productive.

Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room so that you'll have to go get it and thus avoid the temptation to close your eyes for 5 minutes more.

Prepare your clothes - keep them beside your bed to know what to do in the morning and make it more likely to dress up.

De-clutter - seeing chaos first thing in the morning will keep you in a bad mood for the whole day. Make sure you put everything back in its place, wash the dishes, organize your desk, etc.

2. Make the ritual more fun.

To look forward to waking up in the morning and make sure you do your whole routine, include activities you enjoy, or stuff that can't happen at any other moment of the day. 

Wanna take up a new hobby? Wake up an hour earlier and dedicate that time to it. Be it painting, learning a new language, creating a digital business, or taking a fun course online.

If you are looking for some peaceful me time, there's no better choice than the early hours of the day. Do some reading or writing, while listening to music or drinking your coffee or tea slowly and with a smile on your face. No one will be there to bother you and you'll keep that calm attitude till the evening.

3. See how others are doing it.

If you struggle with your morning ritual, take a look at what some remarkable people out there are doing first thing in the morning to stay motivated and steal an idea or a few. 

Read about the daily rituals of famous men in history, read blog posts from successful entrepreneurs and notice how they start each day. They'll all talk about how this is one of their best habits. Whatever you do, keep in mind you're working on yourself and thus being a role model. You inspire with your actions!

But if you don't take control of your morning, you'll still have a routine, it will just be a bad one. The average person wakes up with the last alarm, complains about having to be up at that time, doesn't have time to prepare for the day, leaves in a hurry, often forgets something, and begins the day in an awful mood. Don't become someone like that. Even if you're struggling with your ritual, keep working and making changes slowly over time. It's worth it!

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Taking Charge Of Your Life Right Now

What does it take to take charge of your life? When does it make sense to make the kind of changes that taking charge of your life implies? When you want to take charge of your life, you have questions you need to answer.

Courage and Confidence

It takes courage and confidence to take charge of your life. You might not feel an abundance in these areas right now if you're looking at taking charge of your life. Yet you have been courageous and confident during previous times in your life. Life requires courage! Life demands confidence!

Courage enables you to consider what might be a better set of choices. Courage gives you the get up and go to pick yourself up and take action. Courage does not replace fear. Instead, courage allows you to go forward despite fear that might be suggesting that it's too risky to move in the direction of your dreams.

Confidence allows you to use your talents and abilities in new ways. Confidence puts your skills to work in different circumstances. Confidence does not remove doubt. Rather, confidence allows you to do what you know how to do. Regardless of the doubt you may be feeling. In spite of reminders that today's circumstances are not precisely identical to how you've used your skills in the past.

Change.

Change is inevitable. Life is filled with changes. Over the course of your lifetime, you'll live in an environment that presents many things to you, sometimes overwhelming you with the sense that your entire life is filled with change. As you face challenges and deal with change, it makes sense to adapt to the new situations that arise.

Taking charge of your life has to do with adjusting to the change as it occurs. Dramatic sudden change can leave your mind spinning. That's one time when taking charge of your life demands that you reach for all the courage and confidence you can muster.

Skills.

You'll need to learn new skills. Times of change instill new skills. You can decide that you're willing to use your courage and confidence to gain the skills you need.

In fact, deciding is taking charge of your life. Because that makes it happen. I've found that when I reach deep for courage and confidence, I can decide to take action. I take charge of my life! I find that leads to happiness.

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How to Find Willpower When You’re Running On Empty

Have you ever tried to notice and track acts of will that you perform throughout your day?

That time when you decide to reject the offer of cigarette that comes from your friend. Maybe that morning you finally took yourself for a work-out routine.

Where do such acts come from?

Why in some cases are you resistant to any kind of temptations and just do what is right/logical/useful while in other cases you just can’t stand up to the seduction?

How to Find Willpower When It’s Running Out

Is there a limited resource of willpower for each of us?

And, if it’s true, can we somehow increase it or should we just stick with it like that chewing gum that has stuck to our shoe sole on the way to work. We can take time and fix that, but we have work to do and we are in a hurry.


Flexing The Muscle

“WILLPOWER IS LIKE A MUSCLE: IT NEEDS TO BE CHALLENGED TO BUILD ITSELF.” – MARTIN GINIS

If neuroscience has taught us something about our brain lately – it’s that it is no different than any other muscle in our body (except it’s unimaginably complex!).

If you have ever been to gym – you know how it works. Weak muscles won’t let you lift decent weights, the same thing basically happens to your brain when it is required to show some willpower.

There is a part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex, it is located just behind your forehead and it’s believed to be responsible for behavior regulation and decision-making.

In easy words, that part of your brain is literally the willpower mission control center, and when you can’t handle the desire to eat one more sausage you know what is it to blame.


But how that does that help?

Well, knowing how an engine works gives you an opportunity to tweak and upgrade it.

According to Kelly McGonigal, Stanford University PhD, and author of The Willpower Instinct, the pre-frontal cortex is like a child that needs to be looked after.


You have to be responsible and fully involved in order to raise it properly, so you won’t feel embarrassed for it. There are things you can do to improve the pre-frontal cortex. Following them will literally increase it by consolidating grey matter around it.

As a result, you will gain a power to control over your desires and to act upon the interest of usefulness and healthiness. Instead of receiving a short-term sense of satisfaction. The basic recommendation break-down is:

1. Sleep well.
It is a well-known fact. Your whole organism restores and gathers power while sleeping and willpower is no different. You are very vulnerable to bad habits and other possible threats when you didn’t get enough sleep.

2. Eat well.

Digestion of proper food will supply your brain with necessary vitamins and minerals. Food is a fuel so be sure to keep the tank properly filled.

3. Exercise.

Physical exercises are proven not only to increase your body condition, but weekly exercise activities are experimentally proven to be a boost to your willpower as well.

4. Meditate.

Just a simple 10-minute breath meditation daily routine has proven to improve your body and mind on a many different levels. From improving your focus level to helping your sleep better, meditation has become a powerful tool to anyone seeking to increase their willpower reserve.

Following basic guidelines will definitely boost your self-awareness and the willpower itself. But what do you do when you seem to be out of the resource?


In Search Of A Willpower Boost Pack

Remember what we talked about earlier? About the comparison of our brain to muscles. Now that we know, it seems clear that we can “work out” and get our brain to consolidate the willpower at the times when it is most needed.

We just need to keep practising and pushing it to the limit.

Well, the truth is, it’s not quite right. The resource of your willpower is never unlimited. Especially on your first steps of mastering your willpower, you can easily find yourself in the situation when you are just out of it.

Once you learned how exactly your mind works when you are eating that caramel cake or passing a gym class you would need to learn how to force yourself doing the right thing.

But the problem is that you might face numerous situations throughout your day that would require you to challenge your power of will in order to motivate yourself.

If you’ll be too hard on that, you might just pass one through. You would think – I woke up early, I am not smoking for three weeks now and I laid out on a training today. So this sweet dessert after supper won’t cross out all my achievements.

And you’re right. You can’t be all-focused and determined non-stop 24/7. In this case, one day you would just have to give it a rest in order to release the tension that is tangling you.


So What Do We Do?

In order to avoid that, you need to carefully examine the level of your willpower. Evaluate how much is left in your willpower bank. That would enable you to plan your decisions and actions ahead of the challenges you face.

Becoming aware of the level of willpower you have gives you a chance to avoid seductions and temptations you might face later. For example, if you know that just can’t fight that social media feed checking habit, maybe you could try leaving the phone somewhere not near your workplace.

The other recommendation I would give is an obvious one, though it is also one of the hardest.

Once you have started working on improving your power of will, never let it go. Keep the focus and determination to fight your nasty habits for quite some time. Until you’ve worked out the manner to deal with them.

For example, at some point of my life I had a serious sleep deprivation problem. It was doing severe damage to my personal and professional life, so I had to do something about it.

Amongst all the solutions I tried, meditation was something that really worked, though I had to wait more than a month to see that. But, at some point, my sleep problems were just gone.

Everything went back to normal. And when everything is normal there is no need to make additional efforts to keep it that way, I thought. So I stopped meditating just to see that the problem came back.

That’s when I realized that I should always be focused and determined to steer my life in the right direction.


Drawing The Bottom Line

There is always a way to go when it comes to self-improvement, for all of us. Willpower is the most effective tool on the forefront of our personal growth and development.

While there are literal ways of improving your willpower, you should never forget that there is a resource that you are spending, especially on your first steps of mastering the power of will.

Are you struggling to find willpower? Leave a comment below.

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