Possible Or Impossible - You Decide

And Mr. Webster says...

Possible - feasible, practicable, practical, viable, within the bounds/realms of possibility, attainable, achievable, workable, doable

Impossible - not possible, out of the question, unfeasible, impractical, impracticable, nonviable, unworkable, unthinkable, unimaginable, inconceivable, absurd, unattainable, unachievable, unobtainable, unwinnable, hopeless, impractical, implausible, far-fetched, outrageous, preposterous, ridiculous, absurd, impracticable, unworkable, futile.

Notice there are twice as many words that are synonymous for impossible as possible - does this mean anything? Well - read on and you will discover why so many people focus on what is impossible rather than possible.

We all face barriers when we try something new or take a risk but the real question is do we really believe what we are doing or attempting is possible or doable or are we just trying and hoping?

I believe that very few people (given the population of the US) actually believe that what they are trying is possible and I don't care if it's the Wright Brothers, Bill Gates, John F. Kennedy or anyone who has little experience, few contacts, a poor background or just a victim mentality. Imagine what would not exist today if so many people hadn't just kept trying and believing no matter the odds, number of failures or mistakes and the constant ridicule or invalidation from others.

We have what we have today because people didn't quit and never believed what they were aiming for was impossible.

How about you - a new business, a new career, a new relationship, new skills, new anything - wishing and hoping, staying stuck in the past or going for it with gusto? 

Thinking about writing a book or taking up a new hobby of painting or sculpture?

Waiting for just the right moment?

As a mentor to over 50 aspiring authors I can tell you every one of them keeps telling me - "I have a book in me." And I keep asking them is this book in you any good? And if it is will it help others? And if it will, how many people is it helping while it's still inside of you? What are you waiting for? It won't get done on its own.

Want a new career or position - and you don't have the experience or skills - go out and get them. Stop dreaming and hoping and start moving in the right direction.

Again, how about you - waiting for the right time, the right connection, the right inspiration, the right something? Stop waiting and erase the word impossible from your vocabulary and then get to work and watch the miracles unfold.

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Why Making Others Happy Can Make You Happy

When people feel happy, they experience positive feelings which they attribute as being something good.

But when people make someone other than themselves happy, it amplifies those positive feelings even bigger, more and further.

That's why people feel great about themselves and are inherently fulfilled when they know they have made a positive difference to someone's lives.

In fact, if you are ever feeling down yourself, one way to bring yourself up is to find ways to make others happy. This will give you an emotional boost you need.

When you strive to make others happy, they notice. They will have a boost in their mood which you will see that reaction in their face immediately. Sometimes, this random act of kindness may somehow return to you immediately or sometime in the future.

The great part about making others happy is it is relatively easy to do.

It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment. Or it can be volunteering to help out your colleague whose workload is overextended. Sometimes, simply expressing your appreciation to someone can uplift their spirits no matter how small the task that you are thanking them for is.

One really easy way to make people happy is to smile.

Smiling is a warm and friendly act that most people will respond to positively by smiling back. A smile is a form of welcoming and shows that you are opening yourself up to those people. It gives people an invitation to approach you.

Another way to make someone happy is to actively listen to them. You would be amazed at how effective this is.

Most people aren't good listeners because they tend to wait for the silent moment so that they themselves can talk and express their opinions. However, if you can stand out from the crowd and be a fantastic listener, they will fall in love with spending time with you as hanging out with you makes them feel happy.

If you want to go a step further in making others happy, try to learn more deeply about the people whom you want to make happy.

Be curious and interested in what they do. Then, if you see something related to their interests, either bring it to their attention or relate to them with your experience about that thing so that both of you are connecting in an emotional expressive level.

Of course, you should never use these skills to manipulate, trick or deceive people in order to make them happy. This type of malicious intention will be caught (especially by the intuitive sociable people) and hurt you and your reputation very quickly.

People will appreciate you much more and will respond positively to your efforts to make them happy instead of trying to get something out of it for yourself. And when you do it in a value-giving, non-needy, generous way, they will more likely to reciprocate and do awesome things for you to make you happy.

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3 Smart Tips for Stopping Your Need to Try to Change People and Reduce Your Stress

People basically are what they are. A grouchy person will usually remain grouchy. A person with a very loud annoying laugh will always be loud. A person who is a pushover or who is afraid to stand up for themselves will stay that way. In addition, a tacky commenting person will not change the way they talk. Here is how to stop trying to change people and reduce your own stress in the process.

First: If any change is going to happen, it has to come from you. This may sound like you have to give in to rude people, but you are not, you are actually controlling the situation and increasing your levels of calm. You need to change your belief that you can make someone change their behaviour into something they are not. If the behaviour is something that is unique to them and can be overlooked as a part of their individuality, then let it go and like them anyway. Being more tolerant of little things makes you understand human nature better. In addition, allows you to grow as a person. Miraculous influences do occasionally happen, but mostly in the movies or in those reality shows that are written to shock you. So stop agonising over a failure to mold someone into your ideal.

Second: After changing your belief, start changing your ideas of what a friend should be like. Think about the qualities you would like in a friend and then emulate those qualities yourself. You will attract like-minded people to you and your social circle will change to reflect your new friends. Remember to be kind to yourself, no one else will, because no one knows you like you do.

Third: You will find that your stress levels will decrease and a strong powerful calmness will come over you. People will feel this and gravitate to you. You will make yourself happy by associating with people you truly feel good around.

Accept those who will never quite make you feel comfortable to be with. They will always be that way. Do not waste your precious time and energy with behaviours that drag you down emotionally. Change that comes from within you generates energy and reduces your stress and builds strong healthy relationships. Those people who have behaviours that stress others and make people uncomfortable will have their own circle of friends. Remember the old saying "misery loves company". People only change a bad habit or behaviour only when they want to for their own reasons, whether it is selfish or not.

Being a person who is willing to connect with positive growing people will reduce your stress in a natural way.

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Top Tips To Help You Stop Procrastinating

Here are my top tips to help you stop procrastinating:

Tip #1 Small Chunks

Just divide all the things you have to do into small chunks. It doesn't matter if you only have a little time and think it's not worth starting anything now. Honestly IT IS! If I'd have done lots of little bits daily in my business (when I thought I didn't have enough time) I'd be much further ahead than I am now!

There are many times I can think of now where I wasted 30 mins at least thinking about pointless things when I could have listened to half an hour of audio training, written a blog, filmed a video or done some internet research etc! So YES these snippets of time are so valuable for doing SOMETHING! Perhaps you're a mum like me who is always busy, looking after children, doing housework, working part time and also building a business from home. You may also have pets and other commitments which keep you constantly tied up! So therefore any snippet of time is valuable! So use them wisely!

Tip #2 Brainstorm & Write A Weekly Plan

Firstly do a brainstorm or brain splurge on paper where you literally write out all of the things you need to do. That will instantly make you feel better! I used to find that I had so much to do I was scared to think about everything so it was easier to block it out and just do nothing! Very productive!!

So if you just get every single thing out on paper that you need to do, then prioritise each task and make a weekly plan. Then you can see clearly what you need to do and when. Give realistic time scales as otherwise you'll put too much in one day, not get it done and feel bad! So write down what you think you'll achieve per day. Even if you don't get around to doing everything that day, just be gentle with yourself knowing that you've been productive and forward those things on to the following day.

Tip #3 Change your environment

If you're finding that you're not getting much inspiration to do any work then try changing your location/environment. You may normally work in a particular room but perhaps you're not feeling motivated. Whether you change rooms or even go out and find a coffee shop or go for a walk, changing your environment can really help you get back on track and help stop you procrastinating.

Tip #4 Listen to Music

Try listening to music, something that gets you really revved up and in the mood for working. Some people have running music to help them run faster, such as 'eye of the tiger'. I love a song by Enigma and even though it's not a fast song, I feel energised when I listen to it and it makes me want to get on and work my business. It also makes me feel happy and empowered. So try it for yourself and have fun choosing a song or songs to give you momentum!

Tip #5 Have a buddy

Either have one person, like a buddy or tell various friends and family what you're doing. Then you're holding yourself accountable for getting things done. If someone is expecting to receive a blog or report etc from you at a certain time or day then you're more likely to get it done on time rather than if you're just going to put it out there for anyone to see. If you're advertising something or are broadcasting material to nobody in particular then it's easy to procrastinate and let other more pressing things come first. So always believe there is someone waiting for you to deliver.

Tip #6 Just Do It!

Often we want things to be done perfectly and if they're not, we don't finish what we're doing, and therefore end up procrastinating! You may have to be a bit harsh with yourself, like a personal trainer can be, and just get on with it! Rather than making excuses and trying to make something so perfect that you end up procrastinating, just take control and TAKE ACTION! I promise you will feel so much better afterwards!

Working on my business from home has helped me learn a lot about myself and how easily I can procrastinate! But the reason WHY I'm working for myself from home is so important that it makes me have lots of 'Get Up & Go' and want to work hard! My WHY is my children who I want to spend as much time as possible with. And I want to give them the best life possible.

I wish you luck in your journey to stop procrastinating!

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7 Secret Ingredients Of A Happy Life

Anything that you could ever want more of, or any factor that you would consider important to YOUR happiness and achieving a happy life can be placed in one of seven categories of success.

These seven ingredients to a happy life are considered with everything ever written or discovered on happiness, success and self-improvement. They characterize the life and accomplishments of all high-performing men and women. They include everything you could ever want.
How To Achieve Your Ideal Life

Your ideal life is a blending of these seven ingredients to a happy life in exactly the combination that makes you the happiest at any particular moment.

By defining your success and happiness in terms of one or more of these seven ingredients, you create a clear target to aim at. You engage in positive thinking. You can then measure how well you’re doing. You can identify the areas where you need to make changes if you want self-improvement in your life.

1) Peace Of Mind

The first of these seven ingredients to a happy life, and easily the most important, is peace of mind. It is the highest human good. Without it, nothing else has much value. Because of this, you strive for it all your life. You usually evaluate how well you are doing at any given time by how much inner peace you enjoy.

Peace of mind and positive thinking is essential for the optimal performance and happy life of all human groupings, from your relationships with your friends and family to the business and organizations in which you work.

2) Health And Energy

The second ingredient to a happy life is health and energy. Just as peace of mind is your normal and natural mental state, health and energy is your normal and natural physical state.

3) Loving Relationships

The third ingredient to a happy life is loving relationships. These are relationships with people you love and care about, and the people who love and care about you. They are the real measure of how you are doing as a human being. Happiness or unhappiness in life comes from your relationships with others, and it is your relationships with others that make you truly human.

4) Financial Freedom

The forth ingredient of a happy life and success is financial freedom. To be financially free means that you have enough money so that you don’t worry about it continually, as most people do. It is not money that lies at the root of all evil; it is the lack of money. Achieving your own financial freedom is one of the most important goals and responsibilities of your life. It is far too important to be left to chance.

A feeling of financial freedom is essential to your self-improvement and to the achievement of any other important goal and you cannot be truly free until and unless you have enough money that you are no longer preoccupied with it.

5) Worthy Goals And Ideas

The fifth ingredient of a happy life is setting worthy goals and ideals. Perhaps your deepest subconscious drive, according to Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, is the need for meaning and purpose in life. To be truly happy, you need a clear sense of direction. You need positive thinking to get there. You need a commitment to something bigger and more important than yourself. You need to feel that your life stands for something, that you are somehow making a valuable contribution to the world.

Happiness has been defined as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” You can only be happy with yourself when you are working step by step toward something that is really important to YOU.

6) Self Knowledge And Self-Awareness

The sixth ingredient to success and a happy life is self-knowledge and self-awareness. Throughout all of history, self-knowledge has gone hand in hand with inner happiness, positive thinking and outer achievement. To perform your best, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do.

7) Personal Fulfillment

The seventh ingredient to a happy life is a sense of personal fulfillment. This is a feeling that you are becoming everything that you are moving toward. It is the realization of your full potential as a human being. Your happy life begins with self-improvement and ends with a personal fulfillment that you have accomplished all that you wanted to.
Take Action

Take the brush of your imagination and begin painting a masterpiece on the canvas of your life. It is for you to decide clearly what would make you the happiest in everything you are doing.

Decide what is right for you before you decide what is possible. Create your ideal life in every detail. Don’t be concerned about the process of getting from where you are to where you want to go. For now, just focus on positive thinking and creating a vision of your perfect future.

Thank you for reading my blog on The Seven Ingredients to a Happy Life. I hope you will take some time to think about what YOU want to achieve in YOUR life and begin your self-improvement today!

If you enjoyed what you read, please comment below and share this blog with your friends.


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7 Types of Loneliness

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a common and important obstacle to consider.

To be happy, we need intimate bonds; we need to be able to confide, we need to feel like we belong, we need to be able to get and give support. In fact, strong relationships are key — perhaps the key — to a happy life.

Of course, being alone and being lonely aren’t the same. Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative.

It seems to me that there are several types of loneliness. Of course, not everyone experiences loneliness in the situations described — for instance, not everyone wants a romantic partner. But for some people, the lack of certain kinds of relationships brings loneliness.

Once we’ve pinpointed the particular kind of loneliness we’re experiencing, it may be easier to spot ways to address it.

Here are some types I’ve identified — what have I overlooked?

7 Types of Loneliness

1. New-situation loneliness

You’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone, or you’ve started a new job, or you’ve started at a school full of unfamiliar faces. You’re lonely.

2. I’m-different loneliness

You’re in a place that’s not unfamiliar, but you feel different from other people in an important way that makes you feel isolated. Maybe your faith is really important to you, and the people around you don’t share that — or vice versa. Maybe everyone loves doing outdoor activities, but you don’t — or vice versa. It feels hard to connect with others about the things you find important. Or maybe you’re just hit with the loneliness that hits all of us sometimes — the loneliness that’s part of the human condition.

3. No-sweetheart loneliness

Even if you have lots of family and friends, you feel lonely because you don’t have the intimate attachment of a romantic partner. Or maybe you have a partner, but you don’t feel a deep connection to that person.

4. No-animal loneliness
Many people have a deep need to connect with animals. If this describes you, you’re sustained by these relationships in a way that human relationships don’t replace. While I love my dog Barnaby, I don’t feel this myself — but many people feel like something important is missing if they don’t have a dog or cat (or less conveniently, a horse) in their lives.

5. No-time-for-me loneliness

Sometimes you’re surrounded by people who seem friendly enough, but they don’t want to make the jump from friendly to friends. Maybe they’re too busy with their own lives, or they have lots of friends already, so while you’d like a deeper connection, they don’t seem interested. Or maybe your existing friends have entered a new phase that means they no longer have time for the things you all used to do — everyone has started working very long hours, or has started family, so that your social scene has changed.

6. Untrustworthy-friends loneliness

Sometimes, you get in a situation where you begin to doubt whether your friends are truly well-intentioned, kind, and helpful. You’re “friends” with people but don’t quite trust them. An important element of friendship is the ability to confide and trust, so if that’s missing, you may feel lonely, even if you have fun with your friends.

7. Quiet-presence loneliness

Sometimes, you may feel lonely because you miss having someone else’s quiet presence. You may have an active social circle at work, or have plenty of friends and family, but you miss having someone to hang out with at home — whether that would mean living with a roommate, a family member, or a sweetheart. Just someone who’s fixing a cup of coffee in the next room, or reading on the sofa.

It’s important to realize why we feel lonely, because only then can we see how we might address it. If you’re no-time-for-me lonely, for instance, maybe a solution would be to work with people on a project, where you’d be doing an endeavor together, on something you’ve all made time for. My mother once noted — and I think it’s very true — it’s easier to make friends when you’re working on a project together.

Loneliness is a major factor in unhappiness, so it’s an important area to tackle, if you’re working on making yourself happier.

One of the keys — maybe the key — to happiness is strong connections to other people. The lack of these bonds, even temporarily, is a major happiness stumbling block.
Have you found any good ways to understand and deal with loneliness?

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How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb

Saying no is often the easier way out.

When you say no you can safely stay within your comfort zone. You don’t have to fear failing or being rejected. The scary unknown and sometimes difficult change can be avoided.

But if you say yes your life can expand and deepen. The yes allows you to open up your life to more happiness.

Today I would like to share 10 things that I have said yes to and that have helped me to become happier in my life.

Pick one of these that resonate the most with you and focus on making it a part of your life.

1. Being imperfect.

Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach. And so you’ll lower your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life. Even though they might be going very well indeed.

Perfectionism is mindset that eats at you and your happiness. Saying yes to being imperfect can turn that around.

How to do it:

• Realize the costs of buying into myths of perfection. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
  But in real life it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.
• Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else very slowly or never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

2. Being you.

Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others or censoring yourself don’t feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.

So how can you be yourself? Your environment plays a huge part.

How to do it:

• Supportive people. Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values and you. Or are at least neutral. And spend less time with people who always criticize you or you simply aren’t a good fit for.
• Supportive and life-expanding influences outside of your everyday life. Change your environment not only close to you. Go further and spend more time with sources of information that supports your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier and more exciting. Find support from people you have never met via books, movies, blogs, forums and music. And spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

3. The things that make you come alive.

It is important to find some time and energy for the things that you feel makes you come alive.

How to do it:

• Mix it up. Try something new, even if it is just something small each week. Eat the vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your normal cup of tea. Go out to a movie, café or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Or vice versa. Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways to live a happier life.
• Reconnect with what you used to love if it has fallen by the wayside. If you used to go fishing, paint or play the guitar and it really made you come alive then reconnect. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.

4. Optimism.

Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.

Saying yes a more optimistic way of thinking can on the other hand open your life up.

How to do it:

• Ask yourself optimistic questions. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. Questions like: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? And what is the opportunity within this situation?
• Start your day off on the right foot. As mentioned in tip #2, the influences in your life can make a huge difference. So choose to spend your breakfast time with an optimistic influence like for example a book, a blog or your mom. Or talk to someone early in the day that most often supports and cheers you up like a co-worker or a friend in school.

5. Turning negative self-talk around.

It is very important to keep your motivation and your self-esteem up to live a happier life.

Your inner critic may be one of biggest obstacles standing in your way of that. If you make a mistake or fail, if someone criticizes you or if you are just getting tired then that small inner voice can become louder and louder and drag and keep you down.

It can tell you that you are stupid or lazy. That you will not succeed. That you are worse or uglier than someone else.

Being able to turn the inner critic around or to shut it up as soon as it pops up is a very helpful skill.

How to do it:

• Say stop. Simply create a stop word or stop-phrase that you say or shout in your mind whenever your critic pipes up with a distorted and self-esteem hurting thought. Say: Stop! Or: No, no, no, we are not going there again!
• Explain to yourself what this will lead to over the next year or more. As I mentioned in tip #1, reminding yourself of the cost of buying into myths of perfection is a powerful way to replace those thought habits. This works very well for other self-esteem hurting thought patterns too. Remind yourself of how the inner critic has shaped your life so far. And in your mind see the cost of letting it roam free for another year or five.

6. Saying no when you feel it is the right thing for you to do.

To have the time and energy to say yes to the most important things you have to say no to some things too.

How to do it:

• What do I truly want to focus my time and energy on? When you get an offer or an opportunity arises ask yourself this question. When you look over your schedule ask yourself this question. Think about and look at what your top priorities are and what you deep want before you say anything.
• Disarm and then state your need. It becomes easier for people to accept your no if you disarm them first. You could for example do that by honestly saying that you are flattered or that you appreciate the kind offer. Then you, for instance, add that you do not have the time for accepting and doing what they want. Or say that you do not feel that this offer is a good fit for your life right now.

7. Forgiveness.

Not clinging to the past and to the hurt that is there but to let it go and look to the now and the future is an essential thing to find more happiness in your life.

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time but there are some things that can make it a little easier.

How to do it:

• Remind yourself that you forgive for your own benefit. As long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did over and over again.
  The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and – as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people around you too. When you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free from all of that agony too.
• Make a habit of forgiving yourself. Do not just forgive others but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or 10 years ago – you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

8. Making someone else happy.

Making someone else happier has many benefits. The happiness spreads back to you as you see his or her face light up and as you know you did the right thing.

It spreads back to you as people have a strong tendency to want to give back when you have done something good for them. And it spreads out into the world as that now happier person may spread his or her happiness to other people.

How to do it:

• Help out practically. Lend someone a hand when they are moving. Or give them a ride in your car. Or if they need information, try to find a solution by asking the people you know or via Google.
• Just listen. Sometime a friend or someone close to you may just want to vent or for someone to listen as he or she figures things out. It may not seem like much but it can be an immense help for someone who needs it. So be there fully – don’t sit there thinking about something else – and listen.

9. Openness and growth.

Saying yes to being open to the good things in life and growing as a person plays a big role when it comes to happiness.

The other things in this article will help you with that. But here are two more tips that will make your journey a little easier and simpler.

How to do it:

• Change one thing at a time. Changing many things or your whole life at once sure sounds good. But willpower is something we often overestimate and everyday life tends to come in the way. So to make sure you have a much better chance of changing a habit or area of your life change just one thing at a time.
• Start small. Just say no to one small thing you don’t want to do this week. Or forgive one person for one thing. Or help and make someone happy in some small way. Take just one small step outside of your comfort zone.

10. To living your life fully despite setbacks.

When things have been standing still for while or you hit a bump in the road then it’s easy to back down. To shrink. To give in or give up.

But a better way to say yes to happiness in those situations is to say yes to living your life fully.

How to do it:

• Keep going. When you fail or make a mistake don’t give up. Reconnect with optimism by using the questions further up in this article. Find inspiration from books and blogs and the people around you. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead nudge yourself back on track again.
• Remember, it’s not too late to change your life. I didn’t really try to improve my life very much until I was 25. And many throughout the world and history have made positive changes far later in life than that. So if you want to make a change then start today. Work with what you have where you are right now. Start small and take the first step towards something new.

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Real Life Begins At The Edge Of Your Comfort Zone

Why is it that some people live with a risk mentality and others always play it safe? For the people who play it safe - is it fear of the unknown, the need for control, impatience, ego needs or some other rationale or mindset? Let's talk about your comfort zone and its impact on your future.

What is a comfort zone? My perspective is that it is only acting, deciding or moving only where you feel you can control outcomes, consequences or circumstances. In other words - you don't invest in financial markets, you don't try new tasks or hobbies, you don't take vacations to new locations, you are afraid to start new relationships etc. You just go with what you know or feel offers little or no uncertainty and yes emotional comfort. Well let me tell you - the only thing that is certain in life is its uncertainty - so if this is true and believe me it is - why do people stay stuck in what they know, feel, believe or think even though they live with an inner urge to change, try or do something new or different?

Here are a few of the common ones - risk avoidance, low self-esteem, insecurity, out of control fear, off the chart egos, arrogance, the need for approval and a pessimistic mindset.

Risk avoidance - life is risk - period. The only way to avoid risk is to die. Everyone defines risk uniquely according to their comfort zone but what if your comfort zone is grounded in safe or how you define safe and what if your definition of safe is wrong, outdated or just plain stupid?

Low self-esteem - when you lack belief in yourself you will tend to always play it safe avoiding anything that might disrupt your sense of balance or emotional stability. 

Insecurity - insecurity is a lack of self-trust and if this is one of your guiding principles you will tend to avoid risks of any kind simply because you think you are not worthy.

Out of control fear - if you fear something, anything you will always only do what you feel will always turn out positively. If you feel there is any chance of failure, mistakes, criticism or problems you will settle, avoid and stick your head in the sand.

Off the chart egos - a large ego wants to always look good to others, therefore you will have difficulty admitting mistakes, failures or situations where you might look weak or inadequate. You may take risks but only when you believe or are confident they will turn out well.

Arrogance - arrogance is a close cousin of pride and pride can never admit weakness. So if something new potentially puts you in a position of risk you will blame, point the finger or go into a state of denial.

The need for approval - if you always need the approval of others sooner or later you will discover that when you constantly live with this as your guiding principle or mantra you will eventually lose yourself and become a combination of traits that you feel will never put you in jeopardy of rejection.

A pessimistic mindset - pessimist's always see the negative no matter how positive anything can be. These folks can't admit to success, achievement or anything positive so when they take any kind of a risk they need an escape plan or something or someone to blame.

So, having said all this why live outside your comfort zone? Well, I could go on for pages but here are just six reasons - they will give you -

Greater confidence 

New friends/relationships 

More fun 

More positive memories 

New adventures 

New skills

Let me close with two simple questions - are you living outside or inside your comfort zone in some area of your life? 

Why or why not?

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3 Tips on Getting Your To Do List Completed

One of the most frequently asked questions from my clients is "how do I get my "to do" list completed"? It seems as if the to do list is a never ending list of tasks to be completed. Every day the list stares you in the face or you just plain forget about it. Sometimes I am just sitting outside and realize there is something I need to add to the list. Some of you have home and work to do lists which makes it even more overwhelming.

The first tip and the best and most effective way to complete a task on your "to do " list is to schedule it. Put it on your calendar as you would a doctor's appointment. Start with some easy ones to adjust to doing a task. Do not try to put all of the to do list on the calendar at one time. This will lead to failure and you will be in the same boat as you are now. Start with one task and one day. Make sure you complete it and celebrate the accomplishment. Move on to another task a few days later and continue as time allows. Once you have the hang of scheduling and completing a task on your to do list, prioritize and organize the list so you know the tasks that need completing sooner rather than later.

I know some items are difficult or too big to schedule on a day such as painting your deck or your entire room. Factors such as weather and enough time will hinder this and other tasks. Fortunately, not all tasks on your to do list are hindered by other factors other than that most of us just cannot seem to get them done.

The second tip is to start timing your tasks so you will better understand how long they are taking you. Nothing is more derailing then to have an hour scheduled for something and it takes 2 hours. You need to become more aware of your time. A good exercise is to write down everything you do during the day and how long you do each item. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning, get to work, grocery shop and read the paper. Doing this for a week will really open your eyes to how your time is spent.

The last tip is to review your list weekly to really make sure that all the tasks on the to do list are still relevant and if some can be assigned to someone else. If your to do list is a mile long, the reality is you will never get it completed and this will frustrate you to just not do any of it. Prioritizing them will help in this aspect as you will discover many tasks might be able to be delegate to others.

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How To Be Lucky And Create The Life Of Your Dreams

Have you ever thought that a person was just luckier than you or that great things always came to them? Do you think it’s possible to make your own luck? Learning how to be lucky is easier than you might think…

I am going to introduce you to seven of the most helpful ways to be lucky, all of which are learnable by you.

Each of these luck factors can be quickly incorporated into your life and can literally double your effectiveness and your results in a very short period of time.

Now you can truly create your own luck!

1) Clarity
The first of these factor in making your own luck is simply, “Clarity.”

Clarity simply means that you know exactly what it is you want and is perhaps the most important luck factor of all, at least at the beginning.

The more definite you are about what you want, the more alert and aware you will be of opportunities and possibilities to achieve it faster.
Become Absolutely Clear About What You Want

All successful people are absolutely clear about who they are and what they want, and what they need to do to get from wherever they are to wherever they want to go.

Unsuccessful, unhappy people, on the other hand, are usually quite fuzzy about what it is they stand for and believe in, and what it is they really want from their lives.

As the old saying goes,


“You can’t hit a target you can’t see.”

So-called “lucky” people seem to be very, very clear about their goals and the steps they will have to take to achieve them.
Write Down Everything You Want To Accomplish In The Next 12 Months


One of the simplest things you can do to change your luck is to simply take a piece of paper and write down a list of at least 10 things you want to accomplish in the next 12 months.

This doesn’t seem like a very complicated exercise, but less than 3% of adults will ever engage in this exercise in their lifetimes.

And this 3 % will end up at the top of every organization or company that they work with.

It has been said that success and prosperity begins with you, a pen, and a piece of paper.

97% of people walking around today have no written goals at all.

The very act of putting pen to paper and determining the 10 things that you want to accomplish over the next 12 months moves you immediately into the top 3% of people living today. All it takes it 3-5 minutes.
Think About What You Want And How To Get It

Here is an important part of how to be lucky…

Lucky people are those who, when they hear a good idea, they ask, “I wonder if it would work for me?”

Unlucky people, on the other hand, when they hear a good idea, like writing down 10 goals, always ask themselves, “I wonder whether it would do me any good?”

The difference between the lucky person and the unlucky person is that the luck person is always asking, “How?”

When the lucky person thinks of something that he or she wants, the lucky person always asks, “How can I achieve it or acquire it?”
Activate Your Brain


The attitude of always asking how seems to trigger both your subconscious and your super-conscious mind so that you are constantly seeing possibilities and getting insights that will help you achieve it.

But when you ask, “Whether,” you seem to shut down your creative capabilities.

In your brain is small finger-like organ called the “Reticular Cortex.”

This reticular cortex is like a telephone switchboard. It controls the messages that are allowed to hit your eyes, ears and other senses.

Since you are bombarded by hundreds and thousands of messages, from all sides, continually, this reticular cortex enables you to focus and concentrate on those elements in your environment that are relevant or important to you, and ignore the rest.

The reticular cortex is activated by a clear goal, command, desire or even a fear on your part.

For example, if you decide that you want to get a red sports car, and you are really excited about the possibility of a red sports car, you will start to notice red sports cars everywhere.

Even a red sports car turning the corner two or three blocks ahead of you will be picked up by your reticular cortex and broadcast to your conscious mind.
Are Successful People Just Luckier Than Others?

What we know about successful people is that they are continually thinking about the things that they really, really want, and as a result, they are commanding their reticular cortex to make them more sensitive and aware of opportunities and possibilities to achieve those goals.

Unsuccessful, or unlucky people, are always concluding that these goals are probably way out of their reach and they unwittingly send the signal to their reticular cortex’s not to pay any attention to ideas or opportunities that crop up in their environments.

One of the ways that successful people are described is, “He or she always seems to know exactly what he or she wants and is determined to get it.”

Unsuccessful people are described as people who have no idea what they really want.

The person with absolute clarity, this key luck factor, will seem to attract far more possibilities and opportunities than the person who has no idea.
Become Absolutely Clear About Your Goals

So, imagine that this luck factor is like a dimmer switch in darkened room where you are going to throw darts.

As you become absolutely clear about your goals and aspirations, the dimmer switch is turned on to full brightness and the dartboard becomes crystal clear in every detail.

Your likelihood of hitting a bullseye on such a dartboard is vastly greater than if you were throwing darts from a great distance in a darkened room.

2) Activity

The second luck factor is the factor of activity.

High levels of activity, especially pro-activity, increase the number of things that you do and thereby immediately increase the probability that you will do the right thing, at the right time, in the right way.

For example, if you won a prize once you had flipped 100 heads in coin-flipping contest, the very best way to assure that you won that prize would be to flip the coin the greatest number of times in the shortest time period.

And if you did, and you won the prize, it would not be a matter of luck at all. It would merely be a matter of the frequency that you attempted to flip heads.
Activity Begins With Self-Reliance

Activity begins with an attitude of self-reliance…

All high-performing men and women are both extremely action-oriented and extremely self-reliant. They look to themselves for the solutions to their problems.

They realize that no one is coming to the rescue.

When you see yourself as completely in charge of your own life, your own career, your own health, your own family and your own finances, you stop looking for others to do things for you.

You start making progress instead of making excuses.

You accept that you are where you are and what you are because of yourself.

If you want to be or do something different, it is up to you to make the necessary changes, starting immediately.

If you want to be luckier, develop a bias for action. Develop a sense of urgency. Take action. Get on with it. Move fast.

The faster you move, the more energy you have. The faster you move, the more experience you gain and the better you get.

The faster you move, the more results you accomplish and the more successful you will be.

3) Mastery


Another great way to get good luck is mastery, and it always has been.

Knowledge and know-how are the keys to success. You will always be paid in direct proportion to what you do, how well you do it, and the difficulty of replacing you.

We have moved from the era of manpower to the age of mind power.

Your level of knowledge and skill in your chosen field will determine your luck and success in that field as much or more than any other quality.
Become A Master In Your Area

Today, people are paid not for position or seniority, but for performance and results.

The better you are, the luckier you will be.

Your job is to resolve to join the top 10% in your field and then pay any price and invest any amount of time necessary to get there.

The luck factor of mastery can do more to help you be a great success than perhaps any other factor.

On the other hand, you can have every opportunity in the world, but if you are not really, really good at what you do, the opportunities will fall through your fingers.

4) Energy

Energy is another key way to get luckier.

All successful people seem to have far more energy than unsuccessful people.

They get up early in the morning and they start faster. They work longer hours through the day and into the evening. They invest time in themselves and in their careers on evenings and weekends.

The writer Stephen Leacock once said in this good luck quote,


“I believe in luck, and the harder I work the luckier I get.”

The harder you work, the more you get done.

The more you get done, the more you come to the attention of people who can open doors for you and help you to rise up even further and faster.

There is nothing like a reputation for hard work to put you on the fast track in any career you choose.

5) Personality

Personality is a key in learning how to be lucky.


The more positive, optimistic and cheerful you are, the more people will want to be around you and help you in any way possible.


Lucky people also tend to be happy, positive people.


They get along with others and they have wide networks of friends and contacts in a variety of different areas.


The more people you know, and who know you in a positive way, the more likely it is that you will know the right person at the right time to open the right door to the right opportunity.


You will find that almost every incident of luck in your life seems to be accompanied by a person who is standing there at the moment, with either a piece of advice or with a hand on an open door.


Many people’s entire lives have been changed by a casual comment or by a friendly acquaintance who has given them a key piece of information or an opportunity that has enabled the lucky person to make more progress in a couple of years than many people make in a lifetime.


Be Nice


The word most commonly used to describe successful people is the word “nice.”


When you develop a reputation for being a nice person, people will want to help you.


And the key to being a nice person is to practice the golden rule.


Treat other people the way you would like them to treat you.


In every case, a positive person activates the Law of Attraction and draws people and circumstances into his or her life in harmony with his or her best interests.


The more likable you become, the more luck you will experience.


6) Honesty And Integrity


Honesty and integrity are the most required and most respected qualities in both friendship and leadership.


The people that you like and trust the most in your life are the most important people that you know.


Shakespeare wrote in this good luck quote,


“To thine own self be true, and then it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.”
Being true to yourself is the very essence of personal integrity.


This means that you always tell yourself the truth.


You live in truth and you deal with the world as it is, not as you wish it were.


You practice absolute honesty and deal with reality in a straightforward way.


You see yourself as you really are, and your situation as it really is.


You never try to fool yourself.


And you never try to fool others.


Be Truthful


The essence of integrity is truthfulness.


This means to live in truth with yourself and then to live in truth with others, under all circumstances, no matter what the temptation might be to do otherwise.


Truthfulness is both rare and extremely valuable as a human quality.


When you resolve to be impeccably honest with yourself and others, you put yourself into a group apart from the ordinary.


You establish a foundation of high character that will open doors for you and keep those doors open, no matter what happens in the short term.


Honesty and integrity are the absolute requirements for success in business at any level, in any industry.


When you become known as a person of honor, of quality, of truth, you will attract luck into your life the way that honey attracts bees or the way that the moth is attracted to the flame.


7) Intensity


Perhaps the most obviously identifiable quality of a highly successful person is, “Intensity of purpose.”


Always, the person who wants something longer and harder than the other is the one who will eventually win out in a competitive world.


The more you want something, the more likely it is that you will learn what you need to learn and do what you need to do to achieve it.


You will work longer hours and try more different things.


You will read more books, listen to more tapes, and attend more different courses.


You will meet more people and cover more ground.


You will dramatically increase the probabilities of being the right person in the right place at the right time.


And when you back your intensity of purpose with the quality of persistence, you become like an irresistible force of nature.


How To Be Lucky In Life


The fact is that, if you are absolutely clear about what you want and you engage in a high level of activity to achieve it, you will experience more luck than the average person.


When you make a conscious decision to master your field and back it with high levels of energy and enthusiasm, you will move ahead further and faster than anyone around you.


When you become a positive, cheerful person, who is known for your high character and integrity, you will put yourself on the side of the angels.


And when you back every desire and goal with unshakable confidence and persistence and keep on keeping on, no matter what the adversity, you will turn out to be one of the luckiest people alive.


You make your own luck, you create the life you want. And as a result, your future will be unlimited! Part of being lucky involves mastering your time. When you master your time, you create your own luck in your life. 

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