How To Build Your Confidence Fast

A lack of self-confidence can come from such a variety of different origins that it's almost impossible to track down.

Gaining self-confidence doesn't have a one size fits all solution.

Although people sometimes experience traumatic events that result in a catastrophic loss of self-confidence, often it's more a case of a continual buildup of experiences that erode a person's confidence. Even in the case of a traumatic event, the event is usually just the final straw.

Building confidence back up, then, requires fighting fire with fire: an accumulation of different efforts.

Maybe you know someone who took up karate, sky diving or lawn bowling and went from painfully shy and anxious to social butterfly. If that's the case, examine their lives carefully. Just like the final straw might be the ultimate in a series of debilitating experiences, so the reverse may be true.

One activity or event may act as the catalyst that sparks off a series of experiences that all help to grow self-confidence. For example, maybe as that person grew confident in their ability at karate, then they had the confidence to start aiming for and hitting other, smaller goals, that eventually rebuilt their self-confidence.

Before getting started with confidence building activities, it's important to revisit the idea that emotions are temporary. True, some may last weeks, months or years - but they are not a permanent blight on your wellbeing. Complicated emotions that feed insecurity are like these.

The first thing you can do to start on the path to becoming the self-confident person you have always wanted to be and let that inner beast out is to decide to do something about it and follow through.

Habitual behavior forms your thoughts. That's why following through is so important. By continually deciding to do something about your situation but not following through, you are telling your brain that following through with action is not important.

The brain is a complicated neural processor - like a computer. Remember that a computer will only give you information based on what you input. Telling your brain that taking action to relieve your self-confidence crisis isn't important enough to you to do is the same as telling it that you are happy with the low mood it is outputting.

No matter how you choose to slowly boost your confidence, remember that confidence and competence goes hand-in-hand. So try to find a couple of activities to do to increase your skill on certain areas of your life, practice them consistently, focus on the positive outcomes and you will raise your confidence baseline as time goes by.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

Dream Big: Live Your Life Without Limits

The basic rule for success is for you to continue to remind yourself that you are where you are, and what you are because of yourself. You are in your current situation because you have decided to be there. You have made the individual choices and decisions that have gotten you to your current place in life. If you want to go somewhere else or be someone else, it is totally up to you to make the choices and decisions today that will eventually get you there. And there are no limits.
Positive Thinking Will Change Your Life

Here is another rule: “If you want your life to get better, you have to get better.” This simply means that your outer world will be a reflection of your inner world. If you want your outer world to improve, you must go to work on improving your inner world.


If you want to have better customers and more sales, you must become a better and more personable salesperson. If you want to have better employees, you must become a better manager. If you want to have better children, you must become a better parent. And if you want to have better relationships, you must become a better person. The great tragedy is that the world is full of people who are trying to change the outside world without going to work on the one thing that they can control, their own thinking!
Change Your Thinking

Here is another rule: “If you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life.” And since you can change the quality of your thinking almost infinitely, there are no limits on how you can change and improve every part of your life, in any direction you want to go.

There is a lot of talk today about “positive thinking,” and I think that positive thinking is very important. It is much better for you to think positively about yourself and your possibilities than for you to think negatively. But the danger is that positive thinking can quickly turn into positive wishing and hoping. Positive wishing and hoping can turn a person into a very optimistic and happy failure. Abraham Mallow said that the story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short, and settling for far less than that for which they are capable. Don’t let this happen to you.
The Power Of Positive Knowing

What is better than positive thinking is “positive knowing.” This is where you take the steps and do the things that bring you to the point where you absolutely know, with complete certainty, that you can achieve your goals and be the kind of success that it is possible for you to be. When you reach the point of positive knowing, no matter what happens in the outside world, even if you lose everything you have acquired, you will make it all back again, and more, because you know how to do it in the first place.

I want to share some ideas with you that have been very helpful to me and to many thousands of other highly successful men and women. These are all ways of thinking and looking at your world that will enable you to become a far more optimistic, confident, and creative individual in everything you do. These are simple, powerful, proven techniques that you can use to throw off your self-imposed limits and begin moving toward the realization of your full potential.
Dream Big, You Have No Limits

The starting point of great success and achievement has always been the same. It is for you to, “dream big dreams.” There is nothing more important, and nothing that works faster than for you to cast off your own limitations and begin dreaming and fantasizing about the wonderful things that you can become and have and do.

A wise man once said, ” You must dream big dreams for only big dreams have the power to move the minds of men.” When you begin to dream big dreams, your level of self-esteem and self-confidence will increase immediately. Your self-image improves. You feel more positivel about yourself and your ability to deal with whatever happens to you. The reason so many people accomplish so little is because they never allow themselves to let go and just imagine the kind of life that is possible for them.

Thank you for reading this article about positive thinking and how to dream big and create success in your life. Please share and comment below!
Topics included in this article include


Dream Big
No Limits
Your Life
Positive Thinking

Source

Amazing Benefits Of Being Optimistic

When it comes to the angle on how you perceive the world, studies have shown that being more optimistic can dramatically improve the quality of your life.

Optimism is simply looking at adversity in a positive light.

Taking the time to see things from a different perspective and shining a light on the positive can be extremely beneficial in all areas of your life.

Here are just a few ways on how being optimistic can help you in your daily routine:

Optimism promotes happiness.

It will help you keep your emotions in check.

Research into optimism shows it can actually increase your lifespan.

Being optimistic can reduce the level of stress you experience during unexpected events.

Optimism provides you with a stronger and more solid reason to live life.

Optimistic people are more proactive, rather than being reactive.

It provides you with an empowering way to handle failure in a constructive manner.

It is an essential trait that is common among successful people

It increases your productivity and creativity.

Optimism provides you with a way to deal with life in a balanced manner because it provides you the re-framing tools to deal with negative thoughts that inevitably pop up during the day.

These are just ten of the amazing benefits of being more optimistic.

There are many more attributes to taking a more positive approach to the things that life throws your way. People who tend to see the good in things rather than the bad are typically healthier as it improves both your psychological and physiological well-being.

When you are faced with adversity, the way that you approach the situation is extremely important.

Those who take a negative approach tend to live in a world that is "out to get them." These people often fail to see the bigger picture, which can have a negative impact on their life.

Those who face adversity with a positive attitude tend to have a happier life simply because they choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When life throws something at them, they look for the positives that can come out of it and move on towards a future that looks much brighter.

You will continually be challenged by difficult life circumstances, that is just a fact of life.

However, the next time you have negative thoughts, take a moment to think about how this negative experience could actually be a good thing. What's good can you gain here? What precious lessons can you learn from it?

Ask yourself power questions so that you take action and keep moving forward. This will benefit your entire well-being and help you experience a more fulfilling life.

Source

Rediscovering Yourself: Your Guide to Self-Improvement

Have you lost your way, drifting through the haze of life, living your life in never ending cycle, like you're stuck in a programming loop?

But it wasn't always like this, was it! You had a purpose once; something to look forward to, something to achieve in life, something to live for.

If you're truly looking to get back to the way things were, there is a way. Self-improvement is not an exact science. The approach that works varies with different individuals.

In our youth, we are bursting with energy where our emotions drive us to achieve the great and the good in our lives; both the negative and the positive feelings. As age progresses, and we cross into adulthood, a state of numbness settles in which shrouds our emotions from impacting our lives in any way. We become zombies.

To break free from this catatonic state, it is crucial that we get in touch with our inner self. How do we do that?

Its simple. Dream again!

Getting in touch with your emotions, even negative emotions like fear and guilt, can help motivate us to get our lives back in order. To help us rediscover our passion for all the good things this world has to offer, to gravitate us towards the goals we had buried inside us.

The fundamental question to address here is whether to focus on your passion or to do your duty and while we don't deny that our obligations are a priority in life such as our obligation to our families. To give time to our parents, our spouses and our children, our commitment to our career, to provide for that dependent on us and our responsibility as a member of our community. But these things does not necessarily mean that we forget to live.

A little kid lives in each of us. One who wanted to be an astronaut, an aircraft pilot or a fireman. Find that kid again. And while we cannot guarantee that all your dreams will come true, it will help you rediscover yourself.

There are few circumstances in life that you can change but keeping a positive mental attitude is the key to wade through these harsh waters. Once you're able to convince yourself that you're going to live life to the fullest, the task seems less like work and more like fun.

Always remember to find a release for the emotions bottled up inside you. It's better to explode rather than implode. An atomic bomb works on the principle of implosion. That will give you an idea of how dangerous it is.

On the other hand, if your emotions are spiraling out of control, it is also important to find ways to relieve that tension. Find activities you like, to release that pent up energy. Go to the gym, workout, get your body in shape, do sports, play a game of chess, write a novel, build a generator, design a house, run for President. Whatever takes your fancy. The world's your oyster.

And above all, remember to keep smiling. Life is a gift. You just have to unwrap it.

Source: 

How to Improve Your Mood Right Now: 3 Simple Habits

I often write about how a good start to your day often leads to having a good day in general.

A social, an energetic or a productive start sets the context for your day.

But on some days you may not get a good start for some reason.

Maybe you slept badly. Or the maybe grey skies and cold summer rain is dragging your energy down.

Or you might have lost that positive momentum during a hard first part of the day and after lunch you feel tired, low or lost in a somewhat sad or uninspired funk.

What to do then? Is that day lost and should you just aim for a better day tomorrow?

Well, today is not over yet.

Maybe you can still make something good out it.

Here’s how I do that by breaking the negative mood and getting a new start.

1. Appreciate what you have.

The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups.

I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence.

I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life?

I usually come up with one simple thing like:
My tasty food.
My health.
That I have a roof.

That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.

Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the fluffy cat sitting beside me on the sofa, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.

I make those small mental leaps by just moving my attention around in the room I am in. Like skipping from stone to stone over a stream. And I take the time to slowly appreciate all those things.

This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one.

2. Act as you would like to feel.

Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic.

I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example:
Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.
Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to I think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).

3. Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.

Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood.

Spend one minute coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.

She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.

Source

5 Bulletproof Ways to Deal With Haters

Haters. They come in all shapes and sizes, with vocabularies that range from the grunting of cave-dwellers to the bombastic spewing of wanna-be intelligentsia’s.

No matter what form they take, dealing with them can be frustrating and demoralizing. And no matter what you do, what you create, or where you work, they are out there.

5 Bulletproof Ways to Deal With Haters

There’s no way to avoid them, so the best thing to do is be prepared to deal with haters. Luckily, there’s plenty of ways to help you do this for anybody who’s struggling. It’s easy to let haters get to you…

Here are five steps that will help you become completely bulletproof to haters:


1. Determine if the Person Really is a ‘Hater’

Repeat after me: Not everyone who disagrees with you is a hater. To properly deal with a hater, you first need to know whether someone is actually a hater or whether they are simply disagreeing with you.

Perceiving every uncomfortable comment as ‘hate’ makes for a miserable existence, especially if you’re trying to share something online. Being overly sensitive to feedback and criticism will also prevent you from ever improving yourself or your work.

People who challenge your thinking, who engage in debate, who recommend improvements to your content, or who offer an opposing point of view are often friends in disguise (even if they are a bit abrasive).

These people can help you expand, improve, and hone your ideas or your art. The ideas and discussions they generate can be even more useful to you than the approval and compliments of your dedicated fans.

Haters, on the other hand, offer you nothing of value. They don’t give suggestions, nor do they explain their opinion in any useful way. They aren’t interested in conversation, engagement, or discussion. That is the key difference between a hater and a critic.

Comments like “You are a complete waste of space” or “Yeah, this is total crap,” or“How cute, you’re pretending that you have something to say!” are completely unhelpful. But if the comment is useless or is only meant to make you feel bad, than you can be fairly certain that you are dealing with a hater.

Ask yourself if there is something in there that you could learn from, or a new viewpoint you could consider. Don’t be swayed by verbosity or cutesy emoticons. Some haters disguise themselves with huge words, long-winded rants, or smiley emoticons.

Focus on an objective evaluation of the actual meaning of their comment or statement. If it contains nothing but bile, or if the person refuses to engage in any kind of productive discussion with you, then you know you are dealing with a hater.


2. Remind Yourself that Haters Are Not Your Target Audience


When you put yourself out there, you will be seen by your target audience, your expanded audience, and people who aren’t part of your audience at all.

Your job is not to appeal to everyone, or even to most people. it’s to appeal to those who are (or might be) interested in what you have to share. That is your audience.

Haters never were and will never be part of your target or expanded audience, because they aren’t interested in seeing or even considering your work or ideas. When members of your audience dislike something you put out, they’ll engage in more meaningful criticism or disagreement.

These are the people you should pay attention to and make improvements for. Haters, on the other hand, only provide useless, pointless snark. Don’t try to appeal to them, because you’ll never be able to.


3. Give the Hater a Hearty Mental Send-off

It’s impossible to pretend that haters or their comments don’t exist.

Their comments scream out to us, drawing our attention like a moth to a flame. No amount of covering your ears and saying “la la la, I can’t hear you!” will make them disappear. And trying to do so takes a huge amount of emotional energy and willpower.

A better tactic is to let yourself feel that momentary blaze of anger, then square your shoulders, look directly at the hater or their comment, and give them a strong and simple mental send-off.

Don’t overthink this send-off – it shouldn’t be a long rebuttal or elaborate come-back.

Keep it simple: a firmly extended middle finger or hearty “well f*@% you too” (done physically and out loud if you are at the computer or mentally if you are dealing with someone in person) treats a hater’s comments with the degree of eloquence and attention they deserve.

If you aren’t a fan of cussing, whatever simple mental send-off you prefer. What you do doesn’t matter, as long as the send-off is simple and firm.

Standing or sitting upright, squaring your shoulders, and confronting the person or comment by looking at it directly gives you a little hit of testosterone. Which will boost your feeling of power and confidence.

The send-off itself gives you an emotional release. This combination will help you push aside the hater and move on with a bit more ease. This process might feel hollow or insincere at first, but keep using it – as with most things, you’ll improve with practice.

And a very important thing to note: once you’ve given the hater a mental send-off, don’t pay any more attention to them. Don’t return or re-read their comments and don’t give them any more of your time.


4. Immediately Move on to the Next Comment or Productive Activity

Switching your focus to something positive or productive helps you avoid wallowing in your own anger or misery.

Once you’ve given your hater a mental send-off, redirect your attention to other comments, other questions, or other follow-up activities. Our brains have evolved to pay attention to negative input, a phenomenon known as negativity bias.

It’s important that you pull your attention away from the negative stimulus quickly, as forward momentum becomes more difficult the longer your pity-party goes on for.

But trying to ‘move on’ by just telling yourself to ignore a hater isn’t enough – you need to take positive action. What you want is a rush of dopamine, which is exactly what you’ll get by doing something positive or productive.

Responding to helpful comments, engaging with someone genuinely interested in discussion, or applying someone’s recommendations will give you a hit of dopamine, which helps you to overcome self-doubt or procrastination (dopamine-reducing feelings that can be brought on by a hater’s negativity).

Get a bit of dopamine flowing, and you’ll be able to bask in the glow of accomplishment or feel the excitement of growth and development.


5. Put Yourself out there Again… and Again… and Again

A big part of effectively dealing with haters is being willing to continue sharing your ideas, your content, or your art regardless what the haters say.

Building up a body of work and putting it out there helps you develop a thicker skin and more resilience to any nastiness you inevitably encounter. The more you share with others, the lower the stakes will be on any one piece of work.

This helps spread around the risk of rejection; if one of your posts or videos attracts a disproportionate amount of hate, so what?

Those three other posts or videos you put out earlier attracted some attention and some great comments, and you are fixing that weird lighting and backdrop in your next video.

A couple of nasty comments on one post means a lot less when you have 200 other posts out there for people to read.

Continuing to create and share also dissuades haters from repeatedly coming at you. They lose interest in their attempts at bullying when you continue to share your work and ideas despite their comments.

Trying to tear down a persistent optimist is dull work, and nothing demonstrates how few craps someone gives about a hater than the fact that they continue to share their ideas.


Summary

Here’s a short recap on the 5 bulletproof ways to deal with haters:
Determine if the person really is a ‘hater’
Remind yourself that haters are not your target audience
Give the hater a hearty mental send-off
Immediately move on to the next comment or productive activity
Put yourself out there again… and again… and again

These steps work best when done together, in order. It doesn’t take long, and regular practice and repetition are key. Over time, you will build up resilience to haters and never let their garbage distract you from your work.

How do you deal with haters? Leave a comment below.

Source