If You're Afraid of Failure, You Need to Read This

Why are we so afraid of failure? I mean, I know I've held myself back on account of fear more times than I'd like to admit. But what am I so afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen if I step out and try something? Take a risk? Begin an adventure?

I don't really like fear. The very first poem I wrote was when I was 13. I wrote it, submitted to the local newspaper in hopes of getting it published, and lo and behold, it was. The poem was titled "What is Fear?" I cannot remember the words, but I generally feared a lot of things back then- even failure.

Fear stifles. It cripples and paralyzes.

But the truth is that "failure" is a noun and it's subjective. When I realized this, I began to see things differently. Why can Mike, the average guy down the street, jump the hurdles of so-called "failure", continuing on with great faith and joy in his endeavors? While Jim, the Harvard grad, sit and cry his eyes out when his business only lasts one year, resolving never to try that again?

Did both fail? Well, yes, if we're defining failure in terms of "things not going as planned". But how can one guy be cool with it, dust himself off, and get back up and try again and the other guy can't?

They view failure differently. We want to look at things when they don't go as planned as "learning opportunities".

Listen, if you get this, it will change your life.

Do you know that the writer, Agatha Christie, received 500 rejections in her life trying to get books published? She could have sunk her head in shame, feeling like a failure, but she didn't. She determined to NOT let a rejection (or hurdles in general) keep her down. She learned from her setbacks and kept her hand to the plow. You know what? She sold a freakin' lot of books!

We see the successful people. Or the happy people. Or the peaceful people. We want what they have, but are we willing to keep the momentum moving forward even when trials come? Even when failures come? Even when all your buddies are laughing at you, mocking you for pursuing your passion?

You're not a failure. There's no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. Whether it takes you one year to hit your mark or five years, it's alright! Just keep on getting up and doing what you know to do in order to get what you want. If you don't know what to do, ask for some help! There's someone who has done what you want to do. There's probably a lot of people! Get on the phone and reach out. Send an email- whatever you have to do to get the low down.

We're in this together. Life, I mean.

What do you want? Have you given up on account of a perceived failure?

Commit with me to take the word "failure" out of our vocabulary!

Let's create a good life, enjoying the journey all along the way.

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Five Steps to Transform Your Anger

If we lose objectivity due to our anger, we lose control of ourselves and the situation. There are five steps we can take to transform our anger into something positive and constructive.

Step #1: Disengage from the Situation

When we disengage, we focus on the results we want while we cool down. We can either physically remove ourselves from the situation or take an emotional time out. Disengaging is not the same as withdrawal, which is in effect a power play that involves resisting the other person's feelings. It is simply a way to keep defensiveness from escalating.

Disengaging means setting aside differences temporarily and being willing to address them at a later time. It is taking a time-out to reflect, reduce the tension, and let our emotions settle.

At the same time, it is important to assure the other person they will get to have their say. Setting a specified time to renew the discussion is one way to communicate our intention to deal with the issues. The effect of this is to acknowledge the other person's point of view (and their worth) without saying we will agree with them.

To effectively disengage, we need to make two basic assumptions:

1. that our own competence is not in question, and

2. that we are not being personally attacked.

Step #2: Defuse Anger

Anger is almost always accompanied by self-talk that focuses on what seems unfair or hurtful, an unmet expectation, how upset we are, or how we are going to react. To defuse anger, we need to rewrite that script.

Try to discover the thoughts that are fueling your anger. Then test each thought:

· Is it based on observable facts?

· Is it giving you good ideas to calm yourself and resolve the problem you face?

· Is it free of distortion?

If you answer "no" to any of these three questions, your thinking is likely making the situation worse and should be discarded.

Step #3: Determine the Desired Positive Outcome

Our goal is to find a more positive yet rational view of the situation. We need to focus on realistic expectations for this person or situation based on past behavior. Then we need to create a plan for what we will do next time rather than getting angry or inappropriately expressing our anger.

A good plan is specific and describes actions that we will take. It is under our control and its outcome can be measured. Having a plan increases our sense of control and will actually reduce any anger arousal that might potentially be triggered.

In order to create your plan, place the unpleasant situation in the context of current and past factual events that are more acceptable to you. Then reevaluate it in the light of less threatening facts that help you understand another person's actions. Review your own strengths and consider what you need to help you cope with this situation.

Step #4: Discover the Other Person's Needs

Effective listening can make us more competent, defuse anger in others, help us understand others, win respect, and build self-esteem in others. Inquiring about the other person's concerns and listening actively can help build a foundation of mutual trust.

When we feel the need to criticize people or correct their behavior, it helps to remember what it is like to be on the other side. To empathize is to figuratively put ourselves in the other person's place.

It is also useful to empathize when we feel we're being personally attacked and are about to become defensive ourselves. If we try to understand what may have motivated the other person's behavior, we may be less likely to react in a way that escalates the situation.

Step #5: Discuss Mutual Needs and Desired Outcomes

When we communicate our feelings, needs and goals to the other person, we want to do it in an assertive win-win problem-solving manner that is least likely to generate a defensive response.

A powerful, non-defensive way to do this is through "I statements." Beginning with "I statements" says we are taking responsibility for our communication. The statements often begin with the words "I feel."

James Creighton suggests following up "I feel" with words that describe our emotions, followed by a description of the precipitating event, and then its tangible or emotional impact.

An example is: "I feel (I statement) angry (emotion) that I had to look all over for the car keys (precipitating event). Because it took so much time, I was late for my appointment (tangible impact).

An example in the workplace might be: "I feel (I statement) upset (emotion) that I did not receive your marketing budget on time (precipitating event). Because it was late, I will need to rewrite the proposal (tangible impact)."

According to communications trainer Robert Bolton, at least 90 percent of non-blaming messages that describe tangible effects result in the other person trying to resolve the problem.

To skillfully disclose our concerns to the other person, we also need to avoid the use of words and phrases that convey absolutes, such as "never," "always," and "absolutely certain." They will most often trigger a defensive response.

There are times when we need to inquire to uncover the concerns of the other person. Asking questions allows us to focus on our task rather than our disagreement. After we inquire, we need to listen carefully, giving the other person our complete attention.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Low Self Esteem Can Ruin your Life

Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement. Don't let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.

Your mind can play costly tricks on you:

nothing you do seems to go right;

you believe that most people do not like you;

you believe that you are not attractive;

you choose something and it turns out to be the worst one;

you are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense;

You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.

You ask yourself, "Just what's wrong with me?" The 

answer: Your thinking!

Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem! From this moment on, begin to think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.

Very often one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.

Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be. You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.

Stop procrastinating! Begin now to make that all-important change in your life.You may have to find new friends and acquaintances, people who encourage you and give you that extra boost that you need.

A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.

If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do your best to overcome it. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education. You know that sort - they are called 'drop-outs.' Strangely enough many decided to override their low self esteem and change their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and 

women that ever lived.

Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates. Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it. Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. 

Stop belittling yourself; success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.

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How To Make Your Own Happiness

Happiness comes to a person when it is caused by something, such as the person achieving a much-desired goal. Happiness also comes when the person recognizes something of value - seeing children playing together joyfully makes the parent happy. Happiness can be caused by expectation of future good fortune, as the happiness of a couple in a romantic relationship. Happiness has causes. It can be had by anyone who is able to bring about and recognize a suitable cause. Below are 6 ways to bring a little more happiness into your life.

Be aware of resources that can be used to achieve your goals -

Everyone has a large number of valuable skills that are not often appreciated: the ability to communicate and interact with people, the ability to set priorities when scheduling tasks, and many other such abilities. Your abilities are valuable. They can help you get what you want. So give them the consideration they deserve. Be proud of all of your abilities and skills. Take some delight in using them and they will stay with you and likely develop further.

Feel good when you succeed -

Savor the successes that your abilities and your resources allow you to achieve. The more you enjoy your successes, the more you will strive for and achieve success. It's a self-perpetuating circle that brings rewards and happiness.

Ask for what you want -

It's a way to make your life better. If it doesn't take away from someone else's happiness, then there's no reason to not ask. It is a tool you should feel good about using because it can produce good results. For example, you can ask someone to baby sit your kids while you get an r 'n' r break. You can ask advice on how to do something. You can ask at a university or state employment center for help in choosing a career.

Be willing to take chances to get what you want -

Yeah, sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will suffer consequences. Just make a logical judgment about whether the possible benefits are worth the risks. If you decide it's worth it, then go for it. If you fail, so what. If you fail many times, so what. You still might succeed the next time, or the time after that. As long as the possible benefits are worth the cost, keep trying. And feel good about it. 

Be alert to what is good in your life -

Try to adopt a mode of operation of giving attention to the good things. If you aren't aware of what you got going for you, then you are missing out on feeling good about those good things. Being happy requires at least some recognition of what makes life valuable and worthwhile. The more you are aware of the good things in life, the more joy and pleasure you will feel. And to help stay alert generally, do what you can to stay healthy, exercise often, and strive for variety and new experiences.

Go about making your life better -

Take an interest in self-improvement. Be concerned with ways to make your life better. That will allow you to see opportunities to make it better. Some of those opportunities won't work out. The ones that do, make your efforts well worth it.

I would LOVE to hear what you think - let me know in the comments :-) 

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Amazing Benefits Of Being Optimistic

When it comes to the angle on how you perceive the world, studies have shown that being more optimistic can dramatically improve the quality of your life.

Optimism is simply looking at adversity in a positive light.

Taking the time to see things from a different perspective and shining a light on the positive can be extremely beneficial in all areas of your life.

Here are just a few ways on how being optimistic can help you in your daily routine:

Optimism promotes happiness.

It will help you keep your emotions in check.

Research into optimism shows it can actually increase your lifespan.

Being optimistic can reduce the level of stress you experience during unexpected events.

Optimism provides you with a stronger and more solid reason to live life.

Optimistic people are more proactive, rather than being reactive.

It provides you with an empowering way to handle failure in a constructive manner.

It is an essential trait that is common among successful people

It increases your productivity and creativity.

Optimism provides you with a way to deal with life in a balanced manner because it provides you the re-framing tools to deal with negative thoughts that inevitably pop up during the day.

These are just ten of the amazing benefits of being more optimistic.

There are many more attributes to taking a more positive approach to the things that life throws your way. People who tend to see the good in things rather than the bad are typically healthier as it improves both your psychological and physiological well-being.

When you are faced with adversity, the way that you approach the situation is extremely important.

Those who take a negative approach tend to live in a world that is "out to get them." These people often fail to see the bigger picture, which can have a negative impact on their life.

Those who face adversity with a positive attitude tend to have a happier life simply because they choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When life throws something at them, they look for the positives that can come out of it and move on towards a future that looks much brighter.

You will continually be challenged by difficult life circumstances, that is just a fact of life.

However, the next time you have negative thoughts, take a moment to think about how this negative experience could actually be a good thing. What's good can you gain here? What precious lessons can you learn from it?

Ask yourself power questions so that you take action and keep moving forward. This will benefit your entire well-being and help you experience a more fulfilling life.

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Rediscovering Yourself: Your Guide to Self-Improvement

Have you lost your way, drifting through the haze of life, living your life in never ending cycle, like you're stuck in a programming loop?

But it wasn't always like this, was it! You had a purpose once; something to look forward to, something to achieve in life, something to live for.

If you're truly looking to get back to the way things were, there is a way. Self-improvement is not an exact science. The approach that works varies with different individuals.

In our youth, we are bursting with energy where our emotions drive us to achieve the great and the good in our lives; both the negative and the positive feelings. As age progresses, and we cross into adulthood, a state of numbness settles in which shrouds our emotions from impacting our lives in any way. We become zombies.

To break free from this catatonic state, it is crucial that we get in touch with our inner self. How do we do that?

Its simple. Dream again!

Getting in touch with your emotions, even negative emotions like fear and guilt, can help motivate us to get our lives back in order. To help us rediscover our passion for all the good things this world has to offer, to gravitate us towards the goals we had buried inside us.

The fundamental question to address here is whether to focus on your passion or to do your duty and while we don't deny that our obligations are a priority in life such as our obligation to our families. To give time to our parents, our spouses and our children, our commitment to our career, to provide for that dependent on us and our responsibility as a member of our community. But these things does not necessarily mean that we forget to live.

A little kid lives in each of us. One who wanted to be an astronaut, an aircraft pilot or a fireman. Find that kid again. And while we cannot guarantee that all your dreams will come true, it will help you rediscover yourself.

There are few circumstances in life that you can change but keeping a positive mental attitude is the key to wade through these harsh waters. Once you're able to convince yourself that you're going to live life to the fullest, the task seems less like work and more like fun.

Always remember to find a release for the emotions bottled up inside you. It's better to explode rather than implode. An atomic bomb works on the principle of implosion. That will give you an idea of how dangerous it is.

On the other hand, if your emotions are spiraling out of control, it is also important to find ways to relieve that tension. Find activities you like, to release that pent up energy. Go to the gym, workout, get your body in shape, do sports, play a game of chess, write a novel, build a generator, design a house, run for President. Whatever takes your fancy. The world's your oyster.

And above all, remember to keep smiling. Life is a gift. You just have to unwrap it.

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Taking Charge Of Your Life Right Now

What does it take to take charge of your life? When does it make sense to make the kind of changes that taking charge of your life implies? When you want to take charge of your life, you have questions you need to answer.

Courage and Confidence

It takes courage and confidence to take charge of your life. You might not feel an abundance in these areas right now if you're looking at taking charge of your life. Yet you have been courageous and confident during previous times in your life. Life requires courage! Life demands confidence!

Courage enables you to consider what might be a better set of choices. Courage gives you the get up and go to pick yourself up and take action. Courage does not replace fear. Instead, courage allows you to go forward despite fear that might be suggesting that it's too risky to move in the direction of your dreams.

Confidence allows you to use your talents and abilities in new ways. Confidence puts your skills to work in different circumstances. Confidence does not remove doubt. Rather, confidence allows you to do what you know how to do. Regardless of the doubt you may be feeling. In spite of reminders that today's circumstances are not precisely identical to how you've used your skills in the past.

Change.

Change is inevitable. Life is filled with changes. Over the course of your lifetime, you'll live in an environment that presents many things to you, sometimes overwhelming you with the sense that your entire life is filled with change. As you face challenges and deal with change, it makes sense to adapt to the new situations that arise.

Taking charge of your life has to do with adjusting to the change as it occurs. Dramatic sudden change can leave your mind spinning. That's one time when taking charge of your life demands that you reach for all the courage and confidence you can muster.

Skills.

You'll need to learn new skills. Times of change instill new skills. You can decide that you're willing to use your courage and confidence to gain the skills you need.

In fact, deciding is taking charge of your life. Because that makes it happen. I've found that when I reach deep for courage and confidence, I can decide to take action. I take charge of my life! I find that leads to happiness.

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Steps to Building Self Confidence

Self confidence, as the words suggest, is your inner feeling that gives you the assurance that you can achieve your desired results with a greater sense of responsibility. It is a belief in yourself that you can take up responsibilities and challenges in your life.

In order to attain this, you need to recognise your potential and know your inner strengths. Look at your achievements in your life's journey. Identify what is important to you and where you want to go. Replace any negative thoughts in your mind with positiveness and commit yourself to face challenges.

In order to cultivate and develop such a positive self-image the following needs to be enhanced:

1.Goals and Vision - Set realistic goals. Be a visionary and dream your goals. Convert your dreams into plans and plans into action. Stay focussed and persist in your efforts. Divide your goals into sub-goals and keeping work on them and lead them to your final goal.

2.Interpersonal Relationships - Participate in social activities. Join social clubs or charitable organisations. Get involved with people as this will channel and renew your energy. Share your thoughts, view, hopes and aspirations with your near ones.

3.Communication Skills - Learn to interact with people using charm in your conversation. Recognising and complimenting others for their achievements will boost your desires to achieve similar results.

4.Knowledge - Enhance your knowledge by reading as much as possible on varied subjects. Newspapers, magazines provide lot of information and updates. Watch appropriate channels and programs on television to broaden your knowledge. This will give you confidence when you meet people, make presentations etc.

It is worthwhile that whenever you achieve something, take pride in your achievements. Congratulate yourself. It will boost your morale. Reflect on your successes and consolidate your confidence.

A good way of doing this is to display in your house any certificates or awards you have won in the past as this will motivate you to win more laurels. Keep appreciating these small achievements for enhancing your positive attitudes and inner strength.

One must however be also ready to face setbacks as these are only challenges that occasionally stand between you and your goals. Persistence is the key to success. Analyse the situation and take corrective steps. Do everything possible to bounce back with much more vigor till desired results are obtained.

Self confidence is all about you and your goals. You can only draw inspiration from other sources, but action is what you have to take. Action in the right direction. When you are self confident, you do what you believe to be right even if others mock or criticize you. You take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

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7 Tiny Things You Can Do To Feel Confident In Any Situation

Feeling a little jittery about an upcoming appointment or interview? Nerves can get the better of even the best among us, and therefore having a simple and effective strategy to find your way around them can be very helpful. Here are 7 simple and tiny things you can do to feel more confident in a situation.

Take a Moment before Stepping In

Before stepping into a meeting, interview or even a social gathering, right at the door take a brief pause to collect yourself and your thoughts, reaffirm your poise and gracefully move forth into the experience before you. Realigning yourself helps make sure you are more integrated and focused to meet whatever it is that lies ahead of you, no matter how expected or unexpected.

Establish Eye Contact

Body language doesn't just give hints to the confidence levels of a person, but can actually be used to reaffirm these as well. Establishing eye contact is a pivotal aspect of being self-assured and confident. Make sure to meet everyone with a bright, confident and composed look, and to maintain the eye contact through your engagement.

Smile with Your Heart

A wonderful and beaming smile can help you find your way into the heart and favors of practically anyone you meet- whether in a work situation or otherwise. But not any smile will do; only a genuine smile helps you appear calm, confident and appealing. So smile with your heart, and smile wide.

Breathe Deeply

Shallow breath usually accompanies the most panicky and challenging situations. Therefore if you are not breathing right- that is deep into your torso- then your body is bound to stay a little on edge, if not in panic. To appear more confident, relax your body and consequently your body by breathing properly.

Uncross Your Arms

Crossed arms are a clear defensive stance; but they don't just put off the other person, they also hold you back from the situation or challenge at hand. Uncross your arms and really open up to your experience and you will not only look more confident, but feel more confident as well.

Appreciate Your Self

A lot of our doubts anchor in our own self- criticism, slowly eroding away our self-esteem, confidence and belief. To perk your confidence levels up, take some time to appreciate your self- not just for the successes and results you may have enjoyed, but also for the efforts and passion you pour into your every day.

Don't Lose Perspective

It is easy to get carried away by the momentum of a moment, and to forget the bigger picture. Just how much someone else's opinion matters in the long run, or just how crucial a meeting is to the bigger picture can go a long way to making you feel more relaxed and therefore focused. Remember no matter how big it might seem today, there is always greater to accomplish and more to enjoy.

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Tired of Never Being “Good Enough?” 4 Ways to Kill your Inner Critic

Does that voice in your head ever make you feel like you’re not good enough?

I’ve been there and it sucks. When I launched a startup I used to constantly feel impatient, frustrated and inadequate because I wasn’t achieving “massive success.” I fooled myself into thinking that I would only be good enough once I reached some “successful” milestone in the future. This perspective only increased the feelings of impatience and frustration and it turned into a vicious cycle of negative thinking.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Do you really want to spend your short life worrying about when you will be good enough rather than being comfortable with yourself now?

Today I want to share 4 powerful mental habits that you can use to break away from this negative cycle and that I learned the hard way.

Habit #1: Have Self-Compassion

Shame is a dangerous emotion. It can easily become a part of your identity if you’re not careful. When you identify yourself with tiny mistakes or over-analyse situations that make yourself feel guilty, it can easily lead to shame.

When things weren’t going as planned in my business, I used to think that it was because I wasn’t good enough. Although I knew to analyse the different factors of the business to realise where things were going wrong, I always pointed the finger at myself first!

If I could have done it all over again, I would’ve given myself way more compassion.


How to Practice Self-Compassion

Having self-compassion is important because it gives you permission to fail. Making “failure” acceptable will give you the confidence to take risks and try new things.

If you’ve been thinking about an experience you’ve been wanting to try, go into it giving yourself permission to fail and being compassionate with yourself if you do. This will remove the importance of the outcomes and will help you enjoy the actual experience.

A great tactic to make sure you’re practising self-compassion is to role-play with yourself. Pretend that the issue you’re berating yourself about is actually an issue that a friend has.

How would you advise that friend? Would you call them a loser and make them feel low or would you encourage them to give themselves a second chance?

When you begin getting down on yourself or you hear that negative self-talk trigger, think about yourself and treat yourself as a friend. Give yourself the much needed compassion and support to simply do better next time.


Habit #2: Be grateful for what you’ve got

Like the famous Sheryl Crow line goes: “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

When you’re focused on what you don’t have or what you’re not achieving, you discount your past success.

If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’ll be good enough once you reach a certain career milestone or have a certain amount of money in your bank account, you will fail to enjoy the path that you’re currently on. You’re essentially “living in the future.”

Being grateful for your current situation, no matter what state it is in will make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Beyond that, gratitude has also been reported to strengthen immune systems, lower blood pressure, and increase levels of positive emotions in people.

It may sound cheesy, but I like to start my day with a short meditation focusing on gratitude. The reason that I’ve made this meditation a habit is because it achieves two important things: having gratitude and presence.
Easy 3-Step Meditative Practice:
Gratitude for the people in my life– this keeps me grounded and reminds me of all the supportive people in my life
Gratitude for the small stuff– I then like to think about minor things that make me happy or that I take for granted. Things like the birds chirping outside my window, running water, food and shelter, even silly things like my favourite TV shows!
Gratitude for the big stuff– I also like to think about the endless opportunities in life that I have access to, like hobbies I’m passionate about, volunteer activities and other cool things I can live and learn from! Other things I may take for granted such as freedom and health are important things to be grateful for every single day.

You can use this same practice and tweak it to your own life. It will help focus your mind on the what you should be grateful for and it will bring you back into the now!

Habit #3: Focus on Small Wins

Setting goals is a great way to focus your mind and energy towards achievement to kill that inner self-doubt. Studies have also shown that setting goals can increase intrinsic motivation.

A hack that I like to use to build confidence is setting up small wins. You can do this by setting smaller, specific, achievable goals. Tracking a series of small wins can lead you to a long-term goal systematically. It also propels success by feeding off of the momentum of each small win, making you feel excited and motivated at every win.
Here’s an example:

I always wanted to start my own blog but it always felt really daunting. To get started, I made a small goal of getting at least 20 subscribers within one month.

Knowing that I was working towards a very specific goal made starting a blog more real, it gave me a reason to launch it and work on it consistently. Although the goal seemed small, I remember how ecstatic I was when I achieved it. It got me motivated to continue writing and I proved to myself that I could do it!

When you are setting goals to help you achieve small wins remember to be specific, have a deadline, make them achievable and track them. When you achieve those small wins be sure to celebrate them with gusto!

Habit #4: Visualisation

Visualisation is not mumbo jumbo. Top athletes and entrepreneurs use visualisation to help prime their brains for success. The reason why it works is because you’re activating a series of connected nuclei in your brain called the “reticular activating system.”

In short, the RAS controls your belief system and links the unconscious and conscious parts of your brain. It helps filter out the tons of information you are exposed to, narrowing your brain’s focus only on the information that is deemed important by you.

For example, have you ever been at a busy airport but still hear your name through the intercom or someone shouting for you? That’s because your RAS has been primed to pay special attention to something important, your first name. It then turns all the other noise around you into “background noise.”

Visualising helps prime your brain for success by cuing the RAS to focus on things that matter to you.
How to Visualise

A handy visualisation exercise I like to use is imagining my “ideal future.” I like to vividly imagine a variety of things like what I’ll be doing, with whom, in what location and even imagine the way I’ll internally feel.

By doing this exercise, my brain is now focused on the things I can be doing to achieve this “ideal future.” I’d love to work from anywhere in the world, so I imagine myself blogging away on a white-sand beach. Since my brain has been primed with that vision, I’ve become hyper-aware of experiences and stories that I can channel into blog posts because I’ve trained my brain to focus on achieving that ideal goal!

The interesting thing about visualisation is that it can be as powerful as actually doing what you’re thinking. In a fascinating study, piano players were divided in two groups. One group was told to physically practice, while the other was told to “mentally” practice by sitting in front of the piano and visualise playing it.

The takeaway was that in both groups there were identical physical changes in the brain and after three days their piano playing accuracy was exactly the same, regardless of how they practice.

Start visualising the future you want so your brain can help you focus on the things that will get you there!


Conclusion

Being able to control that voice in your head can make a huge difference in your life. That voice has the power to hold you back from success, from living life to your fullest and so much more! By practising the mental habits of self-compassion, gratitude, focusing on goals and visualisation you can get over your self-doubt and negative self-talk.

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