If You're Afraid of Failure, You Need to Read This

Why are we so afraid of failure? I mean, I know I've held myself back on account of fear more times than I'd like to admit. But what am I so afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen if I step out and try something? Take a risk? Begin an adventure?

I don't really like fear. The very first poem I wrote was when I was 13. I wrote it, submitted to the local newspaper in hopes of getting it published, and lo and behold, it was. The poem was titled "What is Fear?" I cannot remember the words, but I generally feared a lot of things back then- even failure.

Fear stifles. It cripples and paralyzes.

But the truth is that "failure" is a noun and it's subjective. When I realized this, I began to see things differently. Why can Mike, the average guy down the street, jump the hurdles of so-called "failure", continuing on with great faith and joy in his endeavors? While Jim, the Harvard grad, sit and cry his eyes out when his business only lasts one year, resolving never to try that again?

Did both fail? Well, yes, if we're defining failure in terms of "things not going as planned". But how can one guy be cool with it, dust himself off, and get back up and try again and the other guy can't?

They view failure differently. We want to look at things when they don't go as planned as "learning opportunities".

Listen, if you get this, it will change your life.

Do you know that the writer, Agatha Christie, received 500 rejections in her life trying to get books published? She could have sunk her head in shame, feeling like a failure, but she didn't. She determined to NOT let a rejection (or hurdles in general) keep her down. She learned from her setbacks and kept her hand to the plow. You know what? She sold a freakin' lot of books!

We see the successful people. Or the happy people. Or the peaceful people. We want what they have, but are we willing to keep the momentum moving forward even when trials come? Even when failures come? Even when all your buddies are laughing at you, mocking you for pursuing your passion?

You're not a failure. There's no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. Whether it takes you one year to hit your mark or five years, it's alright! Just keep on getting up and doing what you know to do in order to get what you want. If you don't know what to do, ask for some help! There's someone who has done what you want to do. There's probably a lot of people! Get on the phone and reach out. Send an email- whatever you have to do to get the low down.

We're in this together. Life, I mean.

What do you want? Have you given up on account of a perceived failure?

Commit with me to take the word "failure" out of our vocabulary!

Let's create a good life, enjoying the journey all along the way.

 Source: 

Overcoming Envy: What Envy Teaches You

Envy gets a bad rap. The ancient Greek philosopher Antisthenes described it as corrosive ("As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.") Envy is established as one of the seven deadly sins - hardly a list of traits that we celebrate.

Yet we all feel it. Envy is part of the human experience. Instead of judging envy as wrong or bad, is there something we can do with it?

Envy begins with social comparison. Social comparison is a psychological process where we try to determine our own personal worth by comparing ourselves to others. So often, the result is we see ourselves as not measuring up.

Research shows that this process of comparison happens continually and automatically, underneath our awareness. And it sets us up for an inevitable deflation of confidence and self-esteem, what I call "compare and despair".

What we may not recognize is how shame is at the root of this despair. Shame is a deeply felt sense that we are defective, inadequate or not good enough. Shame is fuel for envy. When we look at somebody else and feel envy, it's not just that someone has acquired or achieved something, but that we believe we are unable to acquire or achieve something like it.

Well, that stinks.

But, wait. What if there is a positive side to envy?

Because, when we are in despair, we are missing something important: envy is information. Envy is giving you clues about what you desire. Look at your envy to start following the clues. Ask yourself:

Who do I envy?

What is it about them that generates envy?Since social comparison happens so quickly, envy can be vague, like a cloud around the person to whom you are comparing yourself. You feel it but you may not know why.

When you identify the source, envy becomes specific. You can examine it more closely.

Now this is where it gets really good, because envy gives you the opportunity to challenge the assumptions that underlie it.

Consider the source of your envy. Ask yourself:

Is it something I really want?

Do I think I can have it? Or can I attain something similar or create a similar feeling for myself?Let's say, for example, that you envy your neighbors who own a boat. They take their boat out on the water every weekend and it pains you each time they head out on Saturday morning.

Is it the boat you really want (with all of its associated responsibilities like dock fees and storage, maintenance and repairs, insurance and fuel, equipment and supplies)?

Or is it a sense of freedom? wealth? escape? (or something else?) that the boat represents for you?

There is no right or wrong answer - it's about understanding what you really want. Because when you know what you want you can begin to deliberately bring it into your life.

This is how you transform envy, by utilizing it as a tool to help you understand:

What you really want, what you value, what success looks like for you

How you can generate that for yourselfWhen you are clear about what's most important and what it looks like in your life, you can start building it for yourself.

What other people have and do becomes so much less significant. Comparisons won't matter. And you'll be happier when you are focused on your life, rather than on the lives of others.

Source: 

Why Making Others Happy Can Make You Happy

When people feel happy, they experience positive feelings which they attribute as being something good.

But when people make someone other than themselves happy, it amplifies those positive feelings even bigger, more and further.

That's why people feel great about themselves and are inherently fulfilled when they know they have made a positive difference to someone's lives.

In fact, if you are ever feeling down yourself, one way to bring yourself up is to find ways to make others happy. This will give you an emotional boost you need.

When you strive to make others happy, they notice. They will have a boost in their mood which you will see that reaction in their face immediately. Sometimes, this random act of kindness may somehow return to you immediately or sometime in the future.

The great part about making others happy is it is relatively easy to do.

It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment. Or it can be volunteering to help out your colleague whose workload is overextended. Sometimes, simply expressing your appreciation to someone can uplift their spirits no matter how small the task that you are thanking them for is.

One really easy way to make people happy is to smile.

Smiling is a warm and friendly act that most people will respond to positively by smiling back. A smile is a form of welcoming and shows that you are opening yourself up to those people. It gives people an invitation to approach you.

Another way to make someone happy is to actively listen to them. You would be amazed at how effective this is.

Most people aren't good listeners because they tend to wait for the silent moment so that they themselves can talk and express their opinions. However, if you can stand out from the crowd and be a fantastic listener, they will fall in love with spending time with you as hanging out with you makes them feel happy.

If you want to go a step further in making others happy, try to learn more deeply about the people whom you want to make happy.

Be curious and interested in what they do. Then, if you see something related to their interests, either bring it to their attention or relate to them with your experience about that thing so that both of you are connecting in an emotional expressive level.

Of course, you should never use these skills to manipulate, trick or deceive people in order to make them happy. This type of malicious intention will be caught (especially by the intuitive sociable people) and hurt you and your reputation very quickly.

People will appreciate you much more and will respond positively to your efforts to make them happy instead of trying to get something out of it for yourself. And when you do it in a value-giving, non-needy, generous way, they will more likely to reciprocate and do awesome things for you to make you happy.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

How Do We Know If We Can Trust Someone?

Many of us trust too easily only to discover that we were betrayed. Others of us don't trust at all. Trusting too quickly, or not trusting at all, usually says more about us than about the other person. Trust is not something that we want to automatically do when we meet someone. We also don't want to automatically mistrust someone either. Some of us experience an involuntary response to trust, or not to trust, and neither one of these extremes serve us well.

Trust is something that takes time. It's a process.

Trust is a process

When I say, trust is a process, it means that it takes time to get to know someone. If we enter a relationship at a slow and steady pace, we will discover more about who the other person's true self. We can then determine whether they can be trusted with our feelings, and our shared personal information, because our trust is the greatest gift we can give someone.

Finding the Balance

Some of us were betrayed early in life, and we don't trust easily because of that. Others so desperately want to be in a relationship, or a friendship, that we rush to trust someone to make that happen. We don't give ourselves the opportunity, and time, to get to know that person to determine if they are trustworthy, or not.

In adulthood, often not being able to trust a friend, or a potential romantic partner, may be because we have been betrayed in our childhood, adolescence, or at some time as an adult. The person desiring our trust may very well be trustworthy, however we may not be able to recognize this due to our history.

Our Past Relationships Reflected in The Present

One of the first big tasks of our lives is establishing trust versus mistrust. As a child, we develop a sense that our needs will be met, versus a sense that they won't. Our view of the world is often determined by how secure we feel that we can rely on others for our expectations to be met. If we have had good, consistent relationships in the past, we may assume as much from our current and future relationships, and trust too easily based upon this experience.

If our parents, or our experiences in past relationships, were inconsistent in meeting our needs, we may fear current and future relationships will respond the same way. We make ourselves vulnerable when we trust. Withholding our trust may be used as self-preservation to protect us from being hurt again. How can I trust myself from past mistakes?

It's Not You, It's Me

Sometimes it is challenging to differentiate to determine if we are not feeling trustworthy of someone else. Is it about them? Or is it about our own history? So many times, I have heard during psychotherapy sessions that, "My friend is talking about other people and I'm uncomfortable. I don't know if I ought to trust them or not."

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

Staying Firm With Your Life Goals

Be Serious About Your Goals

Life is not a game. And you don't have time to waste.

If you want to succeed in life you have to take your life seriously. Most of you walk around in life dabbling without a purpose, without a focus, just walking aimlessly in life. This is not you, so stop doing that.

You are different.

The reason you are reading this article because you want a better life for yourself or perhaps want to transform your self, your life, your car, your house, but something in your life you want to change now.

You are convinced that you are ready to change and will do anything in your power and resources to make that happen.

You want things to change; you want things to be better for you because let's face it you're tired of being miserable. You are dissatisfied with something in your life than you find unfair, tiring, boring, stunt-growing and angry.

You want things to change.

I know this is you; the first thing you have to do is stop complaining about your life when you have taken it for a joke.

When you're not living the life you deserve you have to analyze yourself. Perhaps you have taken your life unfavorely. When you look around at yourself you see that you lack focus, purpose and vision of whom you are.

Be Different

But I know one thing about you, this is not you. You want things to change and want things to get better. You are willing to change things around because you're tired of living a circus and you're the clown.

It's time for you to live a prosperous, happy, tranquil life that you truly deserve.

This is you. You have to be ready to make the decision that your life, your desires, your dreams are not a joke anymore.

When you become serious about whom you are and about what you want to accomplish; everyone else will help you and respect you because you're serious about who you are and where you want to be. Earn the respect and recognition you deserve.

Goals are not attracted to clowns, they are attracted to people who have made the decision to achieve the best, be the best and are serious of themselves.

Changing Your Self-Dialogue

In order to be happy, peaceful, persistent or successful in life it's about the self-dialogue you hear or tell yourself. Change it and life will change. Self-dialogues are amazing and effective when you believe in them.

Start with this:

Your dream, your desires, should make you tremble so vividly through your body convincing you that what you're doing in life is your life's purpose. It gives you the certainty you need in life; there should be no room for doubt.

As you journey through your life you must get certainty of what you want; sure of what you need and be sure it belongs to you. You deserve it. This is all that you should tell yourself on a daily basis.

And as you things these thoughts, you have to remind yourself again and again of telling yourself that there is no room in your mind for any negativity such as fear, doubt, quitting. You must not poison your mind.

The only thoughts springing out of your mind should be ideas that will get you where you want to be. You have a dream to achieve, a goal to acquire and a need of changing something in your life. This should be your only sole focus, nothing else.

Remember we do not have time to waste. Life is not a joke anymore. We have to stop wasting our valuable potential energy only in thoughts that will help us grow.

Distinguish Your Self From The Rest

We are different.

You are different. Your thoughts should be too. Only those that accomplish goals in life are those who dare to be different from the rest. They are the one's where fear does not exist in their thoughts because they think different. Their mind has transformed itself differently. Mutated perhaps.

The only way you'll get there is by feeding thoughts, ideas and images that will help you build a big archive of only self-growth ideas.

Ask yourself "What thoughts do you need to help you grow?"

It's one thing. Do not tolerate any longer mediocrity. This is a thought you have to believe and carve in your mind.

What is what thing you have in common with successful people? It's the ability of believing that we deserve better than mediocrity.

Let me explain, you have to train your mind that most successful people out there are enjoying themselves because they have tolerated little, unhappy with some part of their life and decided to do something about it. They decided no longer to tolerate their low paying job because they know it will get them nowhere, they move away from toxic relationships, change their beat-down jalopy. They change themselves.

They changed it. They are the type of people whom don't tolerate mediocrity anymore. This has to be you too.

The reason you're angry at life is not external. This anger is against you for not taking the initiative to do anything about it. You have to be willing to do something some thing, fight for it; do what you must. I mean anything! Do at least some thing even if you look like a fool.

What will motivate you to take action is believing that you are put in this earth to live life at it's fullest.

You must have the thought that you love life.

Things will change.

Motivate yourself to pursue your dreams, your goals, appreciate the opportunities that life is giving you to change. Change will be given to those who decide to love life.

This is you.

When your mind is with different thoughts you will no longer settle for mediocrity. You decided to be different. Do not get comfortable with a poor unbearable life. Change now.

Start today.

When you finally had enough that is when you will change. This is when you will open your eyes, see how much you deserve to live and more. It's the turning point in your life when you realize that you are different, want more out of life and it's time to live that life you deserve. It starts by being a new you; a new beginning.

To finish this off you have to create thoughts and believe in them. You deserve them. Believe in them. You are worth more than you believe. Change your thoughts now and you'll thank yourself later.

Give yourself thoughts and things that will make you happy.

Say to yourself, "I need to give myself those thoughts to make me happy".

Source

5 Tips Make Your Goals Come to Life

1. Do something different. Go for a walk to clear you head, or meet friends at the local coffee shop to brainstorm or respond to questions or to make plans can do you the world of good. Sometimes a new environment has been the key to increasing productivity and creativity for me. Just change things around from your normal day.

2. Setting goals inside and outside of work place are necessary to keep me motivated. If I am just concentrating on work and not also on my home life, I find it harder to want to work.

We all need life outside of our 9 - 5 day. We also need goals for ourselves. You might choose to learn to cook, learn a new language or speed read. Whatever you choose, make it something you will enjoy.

3. Create a to do list. I love lists and highlighting the completed activities makes me happy! Creating a to do list not only helps you to get your must do's out of your mind, it also helps you to think clearly as you are processing less information at any given time. I love that feeling when I get the end of any tasks that I complete, as it gives me a great feeling of accomplishment. I can also reflect on this list in the future to see how I worked through problems if something similar arises.

I write my list in order of priority. I can then to see the scale of what I am working on and be able put my to do's in an order to work in with my day. I usually have several projects on the go at once and this helps me to be balanced over my schedule.

4. Sometimes there are things we just cannot do alone this is when we need to ask for help. This can be one of the hardest things to do, but remember that you can return the favour one day so it does not all need to be one-sided.

If you are at work, make your goal a joint effort and get buy in from the team. If the goal is at home, maybe you could ask your partner, family member or friend if they would like to learn that new language with you so you can practice on each other. Two brains are sometimes better than one.

5. The most important for me is to reward myself when I get to the goal. Don't fall in the trap of constantly looking for the next thing. Take a break, reward yourself and those who helped you get there and appreciate the journey. If you know the reward is coming, it makes it that bit easier to work towards the big goal at the summit.

I find that the main thing for me is to chip away a bit every day. It might be to reach out to someone, write a quick article, remind myself of the purpose or to read over the plan each morning. The focus of the goal must be big enough to make you really want it enough to motivate you to move forward.

Reaching the goals and rewarding yourself will give you the improved mood and revitalised mind and body that will make you and your team want to achieve more! Enjoy the process and reaching the end goal.

Source

Strengthening Your Belief in Yourself

It may sound strange, but the one person you'll always have in your life is you. In order to have an existence that's peaceful yet exciting and fulfilling, it's important to believe in yourself.

When you believe in yourself, you know that you have the ability to handle anything that life throws your way. You recognize that¸ although things may be tough, you'll get through it.

If that voice deep inside you says, "But what if I'm not sure that I can handle something," you could probably benefit from boosting your self-confidence and recognizing more of your abilities.

These strategies can bolster that belief:

1. Know yourself. Who are you? How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you? Write down a description of you. "[Your name] is a person who_____________." Keep writing what you know about yourself. When you're finished, read it. Does it give the reader a clear idea of who you are?

2. Develop a real understanding for how you react in certain situations. For example, if someone tells you he's angry about something you did, how do you respond? When people ask for help, what do you do? Noticing the behaviors you perform whenever challenging situations occur will help you see your capabilities.

3. Be comfortable with your own feelings. Recognize what you're feeling and label it-is it sadness you feel when you see your little girls growing up? Or is it pride? It's okay to shed a tear over a poignant commercial or a sad or touching movie.

4. Recognize your strong points. Although most of us can identify our weak areas right off the bat, it's sometimes a challenge to see our strong points. Recognizing the areas of life in which you do really well is a great confidence-booster.

5. Remind yourself you've made it through some challenging episodes in life. When you see what you've risen above, it helps you to realize that you can get through the tough times. You can probably easily recount all the difficult phases you've gone through in life. Yet here you are, surviving and maybe even thriving.

• Be inspired by the initiative, personal strength, and courage you've shown so far in life. Say to yourself: "If I did that, then I can achieve even more."

• For example, maybe you made your way through college or even graduate school while working full-time and taking care of a family. That's quite a feat. It must have been a challenging time for you. Yet somehow, you did it. That's pretty incredible. Acknowledge it.

6. Get comfortable with admitting you made a mistake. This suggestion just might be the most important one on the list. If you can't admit to yourself and others on a regular basis that you've made a mistake, the fact is that you'll have difficulty believing in yourself. Why? Because in order to believe in yourself, you must be real with yourself and others.

• Otherwise, you'll see that you're not even honest with yourself and your confidence will lag. It's okay to be wrong. Let's face it-most of us are wrong at least once a day. The easiest way to solve an issue or figure out a conundrum is to acknowledge, "I did something wrong."

• If you recognize and acknowledge your errors, you're very wise because you obviously know you can't correct a mistake unless you see the mistake in the first place. If you're not already doing it, start openly and honestly acknowledging errors. That way, you can fix them.

• These actions will also help you believe in your ability to handle anything.

If you believe in yourself, your life will be so much easier. Believing in yourself brings a certain quiet confidence. 

Thoughtfully consider the above points and strengthen your resolve to believe in the one person you'll always have: you.

Source

Have You Ever Hit a Brick Wall?

Have you ever hit a brick wall, something so solid and immovable that you can't see any way around it, no matter how hard you try? It can cause you to feel a failure, perhaps isolated from others, as despair and frustration set in. Life doesn't always go to plan; in fact sometimes we can feel that we're dealing with a problem so complex and unassailable that there are no options left from which we can salvage a good outcome.

I'm sure many of us have at times had this experience, of insurmountable problems, no way forward and perhaps excessive demands being placed on us, maybe all at the same time.

- Work, relationships, home life, health and friends are all areas that can sometimes seem to be operating in an unhelpful and unsupportive way. There may be conflicting demands or responsibilities that require much of our time, energy and attention Sometimes we may need to acknowledge that our desired plans and choices are not feasible at the present point in time.

- Be strong and admit if something's not working. There's no shame in trying something new; it's often a great learning experience, can introduce you to new people and allow you to explore other options. But recognise if it's time to stop banging your head on that brick wall. Others will usually appreciate your honesty, see you as more human and may even suggest a referral to someone who's in a position to help.

- Appreciate that impediments and immovable objects can sometimes provide a useful interlude for you to stop and audit your plans. Dedicate time to review, evaluate and even revise your commitment to your latest project or course of action. Enforced reflection can be a valuable investment of your time.

- There may be some merit in using your temporary timeout to conduct a survey or canvas staff, clients or colleagues for their views. While you're considering your next step why not ask for their opinions, how they view your business or enquire whether they have suggestions to help you grow or improve what you already offer? Other people see things from a different perspective and their feedback may provide valuable insights which could spur you on to a renewed plan of action.

- Accept that your loss of direction may have caused your associates to temporarily lose confidence in you. Management are often expected to be problem-solvers, with all the answers and so, depending on the closeness of your relationships, it may be disconcerting for your team to see you in such a different light. Explain sufficiently and reassure those who need it.

- If you've hit a brick wall it may be appropriate for you to take yourself away from the situation and seek advice elsewhere, in a more confidential arena. Many business owners appreciate the role that a mentor, coach, confidante or partner can play, someone who's survived setbacks or whose support and input they value and respect. A counsellor may help them rediscover their confidence, focus and self-belief again. Stressful situations can be draining and cause loss of direction as well as mental and emotional debilitation. Sharing the load, talking things through and being heard, understood and supported can make a huge difference.

- Many business owners experience self-doubt or a loss of direction at times. Find a setting where you can exchange ideas and problem-solve. Maybe someone you've met at a conference, network meeting or on a business forum would be happy to provide time to talk through your situation in a safe, confidential setting or you could initiate a discussion on a site where contributors are happy to openly discuss solutions and the lessons learned from their experiences.

- Stepping away for a time to reconnect with the personal areas of life can provide a therapeutic break, a chance to clear your mind and regain a more appropriate perspective. Time spent may enable you to appreciate that you don't have to be perfect or do it all yourself. It may be viable to outsource or hire areas of expertise or begin to align yourself with someone who has complementary skills. Viable solutions often become apparent after a break.

- Do something that lifts your spirits and reminds you why you do what you do. One of my friends test drove a super-car, returning afterwards feeling revitalised and ten feet tall. Others may be motivated after time spent with family or at the spa or golf range. Take a break and step back from your 'wall'. Find something that rewards you and reminds you of your worth. Use that to give a boost to your confidence, with time to recharge and enjoy a distraction.

Being 'resilient' is often thought of as being tough, strong and keeping going no matter what. In fact resilience demands that we stop occasionally, take stock of things, adapt and grow in the light of new challenges and goals. Hitting a brick wall indicates that something is not working as initially anticipated. The companies I work with and the workshops I run, place a high value on training staff and management to be resilient by taking stock of the present moment and learning to adapt to an ever-changing and unpredictable future. We discover that a brick wall or loss of direction can be worked around.

Source

4 Ways to Start Thinking Positive Today

Today we are going to talk about 4 ways to start thinking positive as often our mind gets filled with negative self talk rather than positive thoughts, so in this article we are going to explore the positive way. We live in a very busy era with smart phones, laptops and cable TV. As a result of this our thoughts are constantly busy, we are always thinking about things and have new information we are absorbing every single day. This can have a major influence on the way your thoughts are.

So when you embrace the negative and you don't believe you can achieve something you probably won't do it as you let negative self-talk win. Well it really doesn't have to be this way and you can achieve everything you have dreamt about by choosing to shift this negative self-talk so it's create positive mindset instead.

I have shared my favourite 4 main points to start been positive today.

Listen to your thoughts

The first step is acknowledgement of your thoughts by tapping into what you are really thinking. This sounds incredibly simple but are you really listening to what your thoughts are saying? Our thoughts are made up of conscious and unconscious thoughts so some thoughts you are aware of and some thoughts you aren't. As I said above some media and people around us are telling us what we should be like for example the perfect partner, daughter/son and friend. If we are aware of this we have a choice not to buy into these thoughts. So my suggestion is to carry a pen and paper around with you for one day and during this day I want you to write down any negative thoughts you have. Be aware of any common trends and similar thoughts that repeat themselves during the day. This is an extremely powerful exercise to bring awareness and then this will bring change.

Choosing self acceptance

Instead of getting frustrated with the way you are feeling instead choosing to embrace self-acceptance, which will bring you peace within. So do your currently have acceptance within yourself just the way you are? Or do you focus on your weaknesses like the way your body looks in the mirror, how much money you have in your bank account or what someone close to you said about something you did? So let's get a pen or get on your computer screen a list 5 points of what self-acceptance means to you? This is the start of exploring your self-acceptance journey and practicing the kindness you deserve. When you are living in your own power you give yourself permission to show up fully. This deeper knowing that you are the way you are meant to be.

Confront your fears.

Fear will hold you back and sabotage your success so notice when fear is present in your mind. Instead give fear a voice and ask yourself what am I afraid of? What can I do to start moving forward? Break your big fear into small pieces and think without this fear here what do I want to achieve? Don't judge yourself in this moment and give yourself the kindness to feel what you feel. So by taking fear out of the picture your mind can see the positive outcomes without fear present.

Relationship with yourself

Some of us are the caregivers we look after our partner, our family and our friends. We nurture and care for others which is an amazing gift we give every single day but often we put ourselves last. If we aren't looking after ourselves what happens to us? We can feel tired, fed up, have negative thoughts and generally start to resent others around us. So instead choosing things to do just for us to fill us up like exercise, meditation and spending time doing something you love. By doing this you are improving your relationship with yourself and in turn the way your thoughts are.

By changing the way you think takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today you will notice your mind happier because of it. The more practice and time you put into changing your mindset your life will start changing for the better.


Today you can change the way you think, this does takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today is the best start. I would love you to share with me how you have shifted your negative mindset to be positive instead.

Source: 

10 Ways Reading Enhances Personal Development

As a tween, I loved the Nancy Drew Mystery Series. I wanted to be like Nancy Drew. She had such a good head on her shoulders, even though she was constantly facing danger and never quite “hooking” Ned, the handsome guy whom the wealthy beautiful Helen was always throwing herself upon.

Through those characters, I was able to gain insight into the types of people I encountered in my daily life – character types – good, bad, selfish and unselfish, etc. This series probably began my love affair with books that continues today.

In high school, of course, we read all of the classics – To Kill a Mockingbird, Romeo and Juliet, The Grapes of Wrath, Moby Dick, Hamlet, The Glass Menagerie, Crime and Punishment, The Great Gatsby, A Tale of Two Cities, and more.

Why Reading Enhances Personal Development

I don’t remember ever not liking a book we were reading. That continued in college too. And as an adult, the love affair continues, although some non-fiction is added to the list now and then.

But fiction is the great teacher – contributing to our own personal development in at least the 10 following ways:


1) Insight into Human Nature

We meet every possible personality through reading, and we gain understanding of what motivates the behaviours of people.

We can study the characters that appear on those pages, watch them as they react and respond to one another, deal with conflict, and expose their strengths and weaknesses. We gain perspective on such things as unselfishness, greed, ambition, egoism – the types of personality traits we encounter in real life.

Through analysing these characters in literature, I have developed better methods of dealing with people in my world.


2) Problem-Solving

One of the great things about literature is that the main character always has a conflict and problems to solve.

How those problems are solved, and the process that is used, gives us great training on solving problems (often how not to solve them) with which we are faced in life.

Of course, Romeo and Juliet did not solve their problems well, and we learn from this play the dangers of impulsivity – a good lesson for teenagers. Avid readers come to learn how to avoid the mistakes that fictional characters often make.


3) Imagination

As we age, many of us lose the imagination that so entertained us when we were children.


When we are taken to new places and meet unique people, our imaginations are stimulated. We place ourselves in those surroundings and imagine what they must be like. Science fiction does that for me, as do historical novels such as A Tale of Two Cities.

James Michener was a master at stimulating the imaginations of his readers – we are able to put ourselves there, geographically and historically, as his saga unfold. Nurturing our imaginations allows new ideas and divergent thinking.

4) Vocabulary and Language Skills

Avid readers have much larger vocabularies than those who avoid the past-time. And the reading of good books provides models of good language and writing. Research shows that the language development, both oral and written, that is fostered from reading books, results in better learning all around.

Adults who have read a lot and who continue to read are able to grasp complex written material far easier, and they are better writers overall. These are career skills which are difficult to learn later in life.


5) Relief from Stress/Escape

The mental and physical effects of stress are well documented. To relive stress, we engage in a number of activities – physical exercise, meditation, and, yes, reading. Studies have shown that blood pressure is reduce during the act of reading.

And reading allows us to focus on something other than our stressors and problems. A good story line carries us away to another place – a much healthier form of escape than alcohol or drugs.


6) Readers Develop Empathy and Tolerance

Empathy is the ability to place yourself “into the shoes” of another and see a problem, a circumstance, and a behaviour from their perspective.

As we do this in our reading, so it transfers over to real life. We learn to be less judgement of others, understanding that we have not had the experiences that have formed their personalities.


7) Readers are More Interesting People
The exposure to history, politics, the law, and unusual places, becomes a store of knowledge that we hold in our memories.

This knowledge base allows us to converse on a variety of topics, both socially and professionally. People with large bases of general knowledge are more highly valued in the professional world.


8) Readers Gain a larger Perspective

Ignorance of other cultures, religions, and ethnicity fosters hostility and fear. Knowledge and understanding of all of these fosters communication, acceptance and tolerance.

Given the global perspective which all of us must develop, reading is the next best thing to actual experience. And when we do face actual experiences with cultures, belief systems and other ethnicity, we have the understanding to establish solid and mutually respectful relationships.


9) Readers See Cause/Effect Relationships

Seeing cause-effect relationships is a critical thinking skill that is highly valued. Through fiction, we are able to see how choices that people make have an impact not only on themselves but on others around them and sometimes on society as a whole.

Readers come to understand the need to consider all of the possible effects when hard choices need to be made.


10) Readers Have Important “Alone Time”

The world is a busy place. We spend our days surrounded by others, inundated with stimuli that bombard our senses and our minds. Sometimes, it is difficult to shut down all of that stimulation and get the rest we need.

When we read, especially at the end of the day, our worlds becomes quiet. Our brains begins to settle down and prepare us for rest. Readers have a much easier time falling asleep at night – who doesn’t need a good night’s sleep?



The benefits of reading cannot be over-stated.

They are intellectual, psychological, and healthy. But even more than that, reading takes to places in our minds that we would never go otherwise. Read on!

Source

A Thought On Positive Thinking

A Thought On Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking is a thought process that enables you to obtain desired results with the right actions. It is an act that allows you to embrace affirmative thoughts, thus guiding your deeds or actions in a willful manner. Your feelings, your speech and your actions express themselves to convert your thoughts into results.


While we use this expression 'Positive Thinking' quite often, we hardly take a moment to understand the use of it for our benefit. Without understanding the right meaning or definition, we will not be able to identify whether the "thinking" is positive or negative.

It appears to be very easy in conversing this term, or even recommending to others this worthy suggestion of thinking positive, but the practicality of putting it to use needs endless determination. The options rest with you to switch on or off the kind of thought process you are guided through. A very determined and consistent effort is essential to work on it.

Being positive opens your minds door to thoughts and ideas which enables your growth and success. It guides and motivates you to work towards obtaining favourable results, thus creating joy and happiness in your life.

Let us consider some steps towards positive thinking

1. Begin by being sure of your goals and passionately wanting to achieve it. Unless you like what you want to do, no amount of motivation will make you think in the right direction.

2. Move around with successful people. Be seen with them. Even if you have to spend something extra, it is worth being in restaurants or coffee shops where the successful people move about.

3. Read motivational stories and article contributions from successful people. Attend lectures on such subjects.

4. Give compliments liberally and accept compliments graciously.

5. Accept responsibility for your actions. If negativity creeps into your mind, learn to mentally crumple them and fling it outside your window. Subconsciously see it flying off far into the distant unknown.

It is also very important to pay attention to your self talk as this will strengthen or weaken your subconscious mind. Keep fighting with your negative thoughts and shift your mind to more worthy and success oriented habits. Always keep anticipating success, good results, joy, happiness and good health. Make positive thinking, a way of life. It is one of the personal development techniques that will change your life for the better.

In the words of Abraham Lincoln, "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."




 Source: 

How to Get Over Your Fear of Public Speaking

So you dread public speaking.

I doubt I need to tell you that you aren’t alone. When people find out I’m a public speaking coach, there are few who say “I love giving presentations!” (usually they say something to the effect of “Oh, god, I need your help!” followed by a rant about the depth of their fear and incompetence).

If you are among those who are embarrassed by the fact that you are a nervous speaker, I’ve got good news: confident people also get the jitters, and there are steps you can take to prep your mental game and boost your confidence when its time to take the microphone.

Why Even Confident People Fear Public Speaking

The idea that outgoing, confident people don’t experience speaker’s anxiety is false.

I’ve personally seen self-assured extroverts go to pieces when they get up to present.

There are plenty of records of top-tier actors experiencing terrible anxiety before going on stage. Boiling the ability to speak in public down to a matter of innate confidence is a gross oversimplification of the complex psychology behind this act.

You see, we all have an inner Grok the Caveman. And he is very, very afraid.

He is afraid of being hungry, of being eaten by a bear, of being cold and lonely. He is really afraid of public speaking.

Grok hates pretty much everything about speaking for a variety of reasons. We humans don’t like to be standing alone in front of a crowd of people who are staring at us. It triggers a flight-or-fight response as though we are facing a predator.

After all, it’s hard to fight off a mob when you are alone.

Public speaking opens us up to rejection, which we – pack animals that we are – instinctively avoid. There is also that sense that we’re being tested and judged. That anxiety is ratcheted up if we’re perfectionists or if there is an expectation of perfect performance placed on us by others.
How to Get Over Your Fear of Public Speaking

Even if we logically know that the audience isn’t about to attack us or the world will not come to an end if we screw up a line or two, the Grok part of our brain thinks otherwise.

Getting anxious about public speaking isn’t a failing in your character or overall confidence – it’s a natural reaction to something that we find frightening on a very primitive level.

While a big dose of personal confidence can help make Grok yell a little more quietly, it won’t shut him up completely. Fortunately, there are other strategies you can use to make Grok more submissive. Here’s how to get over your fear of public speaking.



1. Prepping Your Mental Game

Boosting your mental game takes a lot more than repeating positive affirmations.“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me” isn’t going to cut it when your inner caveman is screaming to cut and run.

The mental game starts with looking your public speaking fears in the eye. Are you afraid that the audience is going to reject you?

That they’ll ask questions you can’t answer?

Grok is good at thinking of scary things.

But keep the scenario realistic. The audience isn’t going to chase you out of the room with pitchforks. If you forget your material, it’s pretty unlikely you’ll pull a Michael Bay and flee the stage. Somehow, you’ll stumble through. It won’t be a graceful performance but at some point it will be over.

Once you’ve taken a realistic look at those fears, it’s time to plan how to deal with them during or after your talk. Let’s say you forgot a chunk of your presentation.
How can you fix it?

You could email the attendees afterwards and fill them in on the material you forgot. How could you deal with an audience that doesn’t like you? Try inviting them to contact you personally and open a dialogue with them.

To strategize ways to deal with a poor presentation gets you thinking past the presentation itself.

It makes the presentation part of a larger scenario, and snaps your brain out of thinking that your life ends when you get up to speak. It lets the reasoning side of your brain drown out the inner caveman and gives you a sense of control over the greater outcome.

Now visualize knocking your talk out of the park. See it happening in vivid detail.
How do you feel?
What are you wearing?
Who is in the audience?
What questions do they ask?

Go into as much detail as possible, and picture this scenario several times. This form of mental rehearsal is the same process athletes use when they visualize themselvesdoing a perfect play. You are priming your brain for success. Grok only pictures the frightening scenarios.

By repeatedly visualising everything going right, you are banishing Grok and his fears to the corner.




2. Enlisting Confidence Boosters

Losing your cool during your speech? There are a few things you can do during the presentation itself to lower anxiety and boost your confidence a few notches.

First up, borrow a page from yogis and breathe deeply when speaking. Short, panicky breaths increase your heart rate and make the feelings of panic worse. Conversely, deep, slow breaths help drop your heart rate and blood pressure, helping your body calm down.

Focus on pulling the air straight down towards your navel. Bring a bottle of water, and when you start taking shallow breaths or feel panicky, take sip and buy yourself time to take a soothing breath before continuing.


3. Keep Tabs on Your Posture

When poor Grok gets frightened, he shrinks into a defensive position: shoulders hunched, chest caved in, and avoiding eye contact. This scared, un-confident posture reinforces feelings of insecurity.

Counter it by standing proudly – weight evenly distributed on your feet, shoulders square, and chest up and proud. Look your audience in the eye. Your internal chemistry will shift to support and encourage feelings of power, competence, and confidence.


4. Ditch the Notes

Finally – and here’s where it gets scary – ditch the notes.

I’m totally serious. Get rid of your reams of speaker notes. Go instead with a very basic outline: one page with only the main ideas written down, like headers in an article, in a big bold font.

Using excessive notes reinforces your own belief that you can’t give a presentation without the crutch of a script.

Going up with no or minimal notes is incredibly freeing.

You stop obsessing about saying every line perfectly and start having a real conversation with your audience. For most of my clients, ditching their notes is both the most terrifying and liberating confidence tactic they use.


Conclusion

Fear of public speaking affects the vast majority of us.

But it shouldn’t stop you. Accept that you will get nervous. Take the time to practise your mental game, and make use of confidence boosters when you need that burst of chutzpah. You have it in you, so reach out grab that microphone!

Source