What Wrong With Having Problems?

"The problem is not there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." Theodore Rubin

A problem is not a problem until you call it a problem. Before that, it is an occurrence or simply something that happened. Expecting all occurrences to be void of breakdowns/problems is a formula for disappointment.

From another perspective, think of the times you felt you were in the zone. It could have been an athletic event or a business transaction. When you were in the zone, problems had little or no effect on you. You may have looked at them as a slight bump in the road and you proceeded to solve the problem with little or no effort. And then you continued on with your goal.

Later, when you were asked how did you solve the challenge so effortlessly, you may have responded that it was like an outer body experience. And it would have been hard for you to explain. When we are in the zone, problems rarely show up as insurmountable. That's the example of when life is good. So why do people have problems with problems?

Perhaps the real reason we have problems with problems is because we secretly expect them. When they show up, we say, 'I knew something would go wrong'. It's like we programmed ourselves for the disappointment.

When they happen, we are upset because life seems to be filled with one problem after another. And all we want is a smooth harmonious life with no problems. It's like we are waiting for the day that we believe we deserve - a life with no problems. But, as usual, we know the next breakdown is just around the corner.

In fact, we spend time dreaming about the day we meet the right person and find the right job that will give us eternal peace and harmony. While at the same time, our environment has trained us to never get too happy because the next problem is around the corner.

Nevertheless, we have all had the experience of being in the zone. If you focus on doing something well, you will find it much easier to get into the zone. In that space, you will find problems rarely seem to be a problem.

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How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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How To Focus - Some Simple Tips

For many people, the desire to focus better and get things done overwhelms everything else. Yet when they get right down to it, the same people find it easy to be distracted and do not implement effective methods to boost focus. The key, then, is to identify simple tips that will show you how to focus better.

1. Know What Matters

The specific details will differ from one person to another. But all of us care about something. By deciding which are these important areas, you can select the right things to focus upon.

2. Choose Important Tasks

Every morning, select 2 tasks that you will finish by the end of the day. These tasks will fall into categories that are important to you. You have already identified them in the previous step, by deciding what matters most to you. Now when you get these 2 tasks done, you will be moving towards your important goals.

3. Get Things Done

You've chosen two tasks to complete. The next goal is to actually complete them. There is no point in just drawing up lists of things to do if you do not take follow up action and finish the tasks. So make that your highest priority. Get them done as early in the day as possible.

4. Put Off Distractions

Several things are interesting. You will constantly be tempted to try other things that you enjoy doing. But resist the temptation at least until you finish the two important tasks for the day. Once you get into the habit of resisting distractions, your focus will automatically improve and you will get more work done.

5. Stop Multitasking

Maybe you are used to talking on the phone while typing on your computer and simultaneously taking notes. Or maybe you try to cram an important conference call into the time you're doing the cooking while also keeping an eye on your son's homework. Stop multitasking. It makes you less effective. And it worsens your focus. Instead, concentrate fully on one of the tasks. Get it done. Then turn your attention to the next one. This way, you will finish more work in less time.

6. Slow Down

Hurrying through tasks is a surefire way to make mistakes or get things wrong. When you do that, you'll have to repeat the task. That takes longer. And it is also more effort-intensive. If you go about your tasks methodically and slowly, you will complete it faster and with fewer mistakes.

These simple steps will improve your ability to focus and make you more efficient. Soon the improved focus will become a habit and your effectiveness will skyrocket.

Source 

5 Ways To Overcome Fear and Improve Confidence

Overcoming fear is one of the greatest challenges that you will face as you learn how to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Imagine that you lived in the 17th century when there were no airplanes and parachutes. Imagine that you lived happily with your family at the top of the mountain until you ran out of food and water. You can see all the water and the food that you need to help your family survive from the top of the mountain. However, to reach the water and food you need to overcome your fear and jump from the mountain top to the ground. You know that when you jump you will dive into the river beneath the mountain and not suffer physical injury. You also know that it will change your life to jump because you will be able to gather all the food and water that your family needs, but you need to overcome the fear and doubt that is holding you back. You also need to overcome questions triggered by fear on your mind and make you anxious, "what if I hit the rock", "What if I find no way to climb back up", "What if... "

Our lives are not too different from this story. We sometimes face difficulties and challenges such as being unhappy at work, being unhappy with our bodies because we picked up weight, toxic relationships and criticism. This results in us being unfulfilled. From this we also experience a low self-esteem and a lack of confidence -: sometimes we know that if we could just take a leap of faith and jump to change our lives our lives could improve, but we remain scared of jumping. Fear and anxiety holds us back. Doubt cripples our attempts.

Overcoming fear is one of the most important skills that you need to learn in your life in order to get unstuck and take your life forward. Fear affects decision making and a lack of decision making power causes poor results. Sometimes because of fear and doubt you might not take the action that you need to change your life.

Fear can manifest itself in many ways, it can cause you to be afraid of something as practical as snakes or heights. However sometimes fear can also affect you in serious life decisions and stop you from taking action to succeed - whether this is starting a new business or quitting a terrible job that does not help you become fulfilled. Here are 5 ways that you can use to overcome fear in your life and unstuck yourself.

1. Realize that fear is not something to be eliminated but something that needs to be managed

Often when we experience fear we focus more on trying to eliminate it than trying to manage it. People that succeed face the same fears as we face but they act despite their fears. Their process, unlike some of us, does not focus on eliminating the fear but focuses on managing the fear.

So aim to act despite the fear. I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have been afraid to speak in public however I acted despite the fear to a point where now I have mastered not how to be unafraid to speak in public but to act despite the anxiety and fear that I feel. Try doing the same in your life-: feel the fear and act despite it.

2. Realize that fear can be both rational and irrational

As people we have an internal conversation also known as self-talk. The little voice inside our head sometimes gives us messages that causes us to have doubt... then we begin to question ourselves - "maybe I shouldn't", "maybe it is not the right time right now", "what if this and what if that"... instead of acting we then leave the status quo and do nothing. Our lives don't change, we remain unhappy for years. Only to look back into our lives many years after and have regrets.

So improve your level of awareness regarding self-talk. The minute your internal voice tells you to doubt... stop and question yourself. Here are few questions to really ask yourself and overcome irrational fear, what am I really afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen? Am I realistic or is fear ruling me?

3. Define your fear

Don't let fear get irrational define what it is that you are afraid off. If you were to quit your job, what would you afraid of, is it the fact that you won't find another job? Or is it just the imaginative discomfort of finding a new job. What about a new business, why would you afraid to start? So what if you fail and get broke... maybe you can get back to working. Define the fear. Once you define the fear you are in a better position to take the next step...

4. Make an action plan to manage your fear or just accept it

List your fears and make an action plan to resolve them.

If you want to start a business and you are worried you will lose money then make a plan to absorb the risk. Maybe you can have funds allocated in case you lose money or diversify your investment in some way.

If what you feel is just irrational fear (which might feel very real) as opposed to rational fear then accept the discomfort and act despite the fear. Make a contingency in your planning for the practical things that you are worried about, and accept any emotional discomfort that you might experience so that you are better able to act despite the fear. This will help you improve your self-confidence.

5. Take action and learn more about yourself

Often when we feel fear we make problems much bigger than what they actually are. We also forget that sometimes life decisions are about learning and improving as we might not always get things right the first time. So take action on your endeavours and be willing to have a learning attitude. This will help you overcome fear and improve your self-confidence.

I wish you the best of luck on your success journey.

Source

What Are the Basic Principles of Self-Esteem?

How to catch the negative critic in you: 

People are often the hardest on themselves most of the time. Every time a negative or temporary life altering event on the outside happens, you begin to think about yourself as a loser and everyone else as a great life, stop that thought right there and catch it. Failures will cease to make you feel bad about yourself when you realize that they are only opportunities and not mighty hardships that God is trying to throw on you. Often, when something doesn't turn out the way you plan another opportunity comes to pass. We find it difficult to focus on what other opportunity could possibly be better and only focus on what did not happen.

Stop comparing yourself to others: Though it's been said a million times already, it still holds true that every single individual on this planet is unique in their way. What matters is not whether you are as good as the rest of the woman, but whether you are good at being you and showing your own gifts and talents with others. People have different lives and circumstances and have their successes and failures. You may think someone else has a better life because they have more money than you or a better husband or better friends, family or job. What you don't always know, is the skeletons in their closet that we all have.

Respect yourself first: Love yourself more: Because if you don't respect yourself, then how can you expect others to respect you? Accept yourself, however you are at this moment, and that means physically and mentally. Physically, some of us are more endowed with good looks than others. Some of us have sharper minds than our peers, and that's perfectly fine. Whoever you are and however you are, there will always be something in you that absolutely nobody else will have.

You have to allow for someone to make you feel bad: If somebody were to throw mud at you, would you just stand there and let it hit your head, hair or clothes or would you simply move aside and let it pass by you? The choice is yours. You cannot stop people from throwing stones and telling you all that they do, but you can choose to accept it and make you feel bad or not accept it. Be very choosy and picky when it comes to taking advice from just anyone. Ask yourself if it makes sense and is it helping you or is it being given by alternative motives. If it's not helping you, then discard it. Associate with genuine, real positive people who will help you and feel good about yourself as a woman.

Keeping a journal. I don't want to hear how you don't have time. With technology today you can write notes in your phone which is probably by your side most of the day. Write something good about yourself every day. Whenever you feel down and low in self-esteem, open up your journal to encourage yourself once again.

Do unto others: Do one good thing to someone or something every day without expecting anything in return. It could be anything, from feeding a stray dog, giving a complement to helping the elderly. When you can help someone else in their suffering or pain especially if it's a pain or situation you have been through you're actually healing yourself as well in return without realizing it.

Express your talents: Pick a hobby you are good at and become even better at it. Pride in something that you do helps to create a positive self-esteem Examples of hobbies can be gardening, writing blogging, embroidering, sewing or even wood refurnishing. It is hard to be down on yourself when you have created something physical and can look at it with pride and say to yourself "Look at what I have created".

Source

How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an over thinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.


I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralysed in fear.

4. Realise that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an over thinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the head space I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Source

The Art Of Winning Lies in Momentum

Who else wants to set bigger goals? And how do you know you can achieve those bigger goals? The answer lies in achieving goals small steps at a time.

The biggest mistake most people make when they start out setting goals is that they immediately set huge, almost impossible goals and when the going gets tough, they give up. Now there is nothing wrong with setting big goals, but you have to achieve small, easy goals that will eventually make you achieve the bigger goals. This is called building momentum - a powerful way to inspire and motivate you.

Rewarding yourself and celebrating helps to build momentum in your life to achieve greater things. When you've achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Reflect on your successes and look back at your progress.

If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence and motivation you deserve.

With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal setting plans:

If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.

If the goal took a longer length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier.

If you need to change a goal, then change it, goals should not be cast in stone, but flexible.

If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

The art of setting bigger and more challenging goals lies in building momentum. There are 4 stages in building momentum. Let me outline them below:

1st Stage - Beliefs: You have certain beliefs of what you can or cannot do.

2nd Stage - Actions: You take actions based on your beliefs.

3rd Stage - Results: Your actions will lead to certain results, good or bad.

4th Stage - Reinforcement: The results you get will give you certain feelings such as inspiration, motivation, satisfaction or even disappointment

Let's look at an example: You believe that you can lose 10 pounds in 6 months. Your beliefs make you take simple actions such as cutting fast food and soft drinks and getting more active. After 6 months you have lost 10 pounds or even more. How do you feel? I bet you will feel pretty satisfied and proud of yourself. So this will reinforce your belief that you can get into shape and life healthy. So what will the next goal be? Maybe to start trimming or toning your body? Or even help someone else to get into the shape and body they want?

It is important to understand that this model to build momentum can go both ways, good or bad. 

Choose the good route.

Source: 

Motivation Vs Inspiration

Although many people often confuse inspiration with motivation, they are two VERY different things. In order for us to do anything, we need to be motivated. Whether it is getting up from bed in the morning, doing our daily chores, or pursuing a lifelong dream, if there is no motivation we would not do it.

There are two types of Motivation: External motivation and Internal Motivation. When we say motivation in the normal sense, what we mean is External motivation. An external push that we require to do something that we may or may not care about.

On the other hand there is Internal Motivation which is also referred to as Inspiration. This kind of motivation comes from deep within ourselves and is not dependent on any external physical expression. When you are in this place of inspiration you are naturally drawn to do whatever feels best. In order for us to achieve our goals and move steadily forward on our chosen paths we need to be driven from inside rather than outside, therefore this means that the goals that we set have to be INSPIRED goals. one of the fastest roads to inspiration is motivation.

There are two types of Inspiration: Passive and Active. Replicating or building on the success and ideas of others is Passive inspiration, whereas, the act of CREATING things, pursuing new ideas, goals and ambitions is Active inspiration.

Motivation is related to the inspiration that increases the eagerness or willingness to do something. Inspiration is the process by which the mental stimulation takes place. It makes one WANT to do or feel something.

Starting to make sense?

Motivation relies on tenacity, determination and drive, but Inspiration comes from some place inside you that is profoundly touched in some way. The word inspire means "in spirit," which pretty much sums it up. When you're inspired to do something, you're more in the spirit of doing it. There's something more than determination driving you. It's more like you were actually "destined" to do it.

Websters online dictionary defines both Inspiration and Motivation as follows:

in·spi·ra·tion: something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create.

mo·ti·va·tion: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something.

In looking at the two definitions, it is clear that inspiration is more of a person reaching a point of wanting to act. There is a true DESIRE to achieve a goal or dream, they are "compelled", whereas, motivation is more of giving people reasons to act.

In short, Inspiration is the "spark" that originates within, and Motivation is the "fuel" that causes the spark to grow into a flame.

EVERYONE is indwelt with dreams & ideas known only to themselves, YOU carry those dreams & ideas. Your feelings are indicators that let you know when it's time to bring the spark forth that will grow into the flame.

"As life takes us up and moves us around, our purposes expand, our priorities shift, our search continues for what is ours to do" 

- Carol Adrienne

Be Inspired, Be Motivated, it's time to share that spark with the rest of the world!

 Source

How To Be Motivated - Get Up and Get Going!

How to be motivated. No Kidding! If you are like me, then knowing and starting and maintaining your plan of life has been a tough go. Struggling through life with no idea what you wanted or, if you did, how to sustain that momentum to always be moving towards your dreams. Motivation and inspiration are tough things to keep focused on, especially when those tough days come along or disappointment shows its ugly face.

Today I want to talk about moving forward and reaching whatever it is you desire. No matter what that THING is. The perfect career, the perfect relationship, the perfect health, the perfect whatever. Here are some tips to taking steps in the right direction.

1) The most important thing that you must sort out is what is your vision, your dream, your desire... Similar to the story about the lumberjack who took time to sharpen his axe versus the one who just keep chopping and chopping. The person who takes time to think, plan and take the steps laid out in the strategy has a significant higher percentage chance of succeeding than the one who goes on faith, hope and no strategy or direction. Take the time to establish what it is you are wanting. Desire your perfect scenario in your mind. You then must put thought to paper or processor. Something that you can refer back to, amend, rewrite or just remind yourself of.

2) In your plan, be sure to set measurable goals, not only outcomes but timelines also. You must lay out a schedule of what and when you will do and complete things. Important thing to remember is to not beat yourself up if you do not attain the schedule. Just reschedule it and keep going. The key here is that you have a plan that you can follow and that you can refer to if you ever find you are unsure of what your next step should be. You should break down your goals into weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly. You can even go further than that if you like, do a 3, 5 and 10 year plan also. If you choose to expand you plan to this level (which I recommend), start with the further period out and work backwards. For example, your 10 year plan will help you establish what your 5 year should look like to accomplish the 10 year. Envision the end result of whatever timeline you create and work backwards on the steps needed to accomplish this.Then use this to create your daily plan, look at your weekly goal that you have established from longer term goals and establish what each day looks like.

3) And Finally, GO GO GO. take the steps you have planned, do the tasks, move move move. As mentioned, even if you don't achieve what you laid out for yourself, DO NOT STOP! Chances are you are that much closer to your goal, plus you have a plan and vision of what you are working towards anyways. Do not get stuck in negativity or self-defeating thoughts or actions, stay focused. The main thing that most successful people have in common, is their energy, they don't stop. Even if something happens, some hiccup or detour in the plan, they keep get up, get ready and GO!

I hope this helps. It really is this simple, but it takes commitment, planning and an ability to revisit your goals and dreams, to remind you of why you must get through the bad days, the challenges, the refusals.

Good luck and, as always, I wish you Great Health & Great Wealth.

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The Power Of Positive Self Esteem

Individuals who believe in themselves and have confidence in their self worth are better equipped to rise to today's challenges.

Positive self esteem pushes you beyond your boundaries. It lets us to take pride in our achievements no matter how small. The stronger your self esteem, you are able to respond more appropriately to the opportunities and troubles in our personal lives and careers.

Self appraisals are critical to life. What we think about ourselves shapes our perspective of life. It determines:

The goals we set

The values we live by

The people we interact with

And, how we confront challenges.

The one and only way to meet these challenges is to have a high self esteem.

Believe in yourself

Positive self esteem is essential for healthy psychological development. In its absence, psychological and emotional growth remains stunted. When faced with difficulties, it is easy to breakdown. Positive self esteem provides mental strength and resilience. It provides the capacity for regeneration. Every time, you doubt yourself, remember a time in life when you were successful, and transform that doubt into confidence.

Be Ambitious

Survival is primary to us humans, but it is not the only thing. High self esteem allows you to see yourself in a better place; physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, romantically and creatively. So, be ambitious and reach for goals that put you in a higher, finer and superior class. Expect more from life.

Competitive Goals

This is what positive self esteem does; it inspires you to achieve more than what you believe you can. People look for more demanding goals. They constantly challenge themselves, by breaking old records and setting new ones. Their achievements further boost their self esteem.

Transparent and Direct Communication

Having a high self esteem implies valuing yourself for the person you are - be it your physical appearance or the value and ideas you stand by. Such individuals are not afraid of making their thoughts known. They want to be understood and hence welcome clarity. Their communication is honest, direct and transparent. Along with speaking, they also make good listeners giving other's opinions equal value.

Love and Compassion

The goodness and positivity that exists within reflects on the outside. People with high self esteem are loving and compassionate towards others. This because they regard others in the same way they regard themselves. They prefer to have a few nourishing relationships than many toxic ones. They give up relationships that require them to pretend.

Attractiveness

It is not physical attractiveness, but a spiritual attractiveness. They reverberate with confidence. It is their expansiveness and vitality that draws others closer to them.

Forgiveness

We think of self esteem as respecting and admiring ourselves and having faith in our capabilities. But it is also about knowing one's limitations. It includes an acceptance and tolerance of other's weaknesses as well. For this, it is important to be forgiving.

Solid Value System

The self-assuredness in people with high self esteem comes from a solid foundation of values. It is the foundation of their lives. They stand up for it. These values are not governed by external circumstances and neither does it change according to the expectations of others. It becomes their identity and they refuse to compromise on them.

Optimism

There are two ways you can look at life - as a glass half full or a glass half empty. People with high self esteem choose the first. They don't mull over what's negative, but rather search for the positives even in the most distressing situations.

Self -Perfection

A self-confident person accepts the fact that they are not perfect. However, this realization does not turn out to be self-deprecating. Instead, it motivates them to work towards improvement. In this process of self improvement, they don't hesitate to ask other people for help if needed. They welcome all kinds of criticism.

Honest Self-Appraisals

What people with high self esteem are able to do best is conduct unbiased self appraisals. They probe into the positives and the negatives. Their judgment is not subjective, but very realistic.

Constant Success

It is impossible to be successful all the time. Even the most competent and talented individuals have to face failure at some point. However, those with high self esteem experience a constant sense of accomplishment. For them, even failures are opportunities to improve themselves.

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Why Free Time Is An Illusion That Kills Dreams

“REPLACE REGRETS WITH DREAMS. WHENEVER YOU START THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE, SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO NOW. IT’S FAR MORE EMPOWERING AND A LOT LESS DRAINING.” – LORI DESCHENE

I used to think that I wanted more free time, but I discovered that what I really wanted was more time focused on my dreams. More to the point, working on those dreams.

It’s not so bad to be busy as it is to be busy doing thing which don’t move us in the direction we want.

Our time is often divided between doing something we hate (a job), and the time in between that where many people look to escapism for relief; maybe focusing on other people’s lives or things that “pass the time”.

With finite time to do everything we’ve ever dreamed of, how could we simply “pass the time” instead of doing something with it?

“LACK OF DIRECTION, NOT LACK OF TIME, IS THE PROBLEM. WE ALL HAVE TWENTY-FOUR HOUR DAYS.” – ZIG ZIGLAR

The time we pass frivolously is the time we could use to create a compelling future and an exciting present.

Imagine never being bored again.

Imagine a fire deep inside that compels you to get up early not because you have to, but because you can’t wait to get back at it.

Imagine if you could live every day without, “Blegh, it’s Monday” or “I can’t wait for the weekend!”

Being fully engaged in your work, something big that you’re creating which makes you excited is the best way to eliminate the idea of free time. Instead, we can replace it more accurately with just time.


Why Free Time Is An Illusion

If more people dedicated their so-called free time to something worthwhile, they could soon eliminate the need to segment their time artificially. Instead, time is wasted frivolously, and the pattern continues.

Here are some suggestions to get the most out of every day, and eliminate “free time”.

1) Being Present

I’m a highly driven man, but I don’t let time pass without enjoying every moment in the present, including my work.


It’s important to keep an eye on the prize but never forget the here and now. Experience it and enjoy it.

Better quality experiences = fulfillment

Working on something big is not only motivating, but it will create the most intense experiences and lessons in our lives.

The end result of dedicating every available moment to our passion is a deep sense of fulfillment, and that’s before receiving the end prize. As long as we’re progressing, we’ll feel alive.


2) Grit

It’s not all going to be fun.

In fact, working on creating something you don’t already have will require you to grow into another person. The biggest factor that will determine how you grow, and the outcome you get from that growth, will be your ability to stick to it even when it sucks.

That’s grit, that’s fortitude and that’s mental toughness.


3) New Habits
Our habits can often work against our own desires, that is until we decide which habits to adopt. Making the best use of time means letting go of bad habits which drain our days.

Training ourselves to do what we need to do when we need to do it will move us towards our goals faster. Make a habit of it.

“HOW WE DO ONE THING IS HOW WE DO EVERYTHING.”

4) Work Hard, But Enjoy Your Breaks

When it’s go-time, it’s time to work, but when you’re eating, spending time with family, or taking some quiet time, then it’s time to let everything else go.

This is one reason why it’s so important to put everything we’ve got into the work we’re doing to achieve our goals at every possible moment; when we take a break we’ll enjoy it that much more because we can rest satisfied that we did everything we could do.

5) Eliminate Small Barriers

It’s often the small things that can get in the way of doing what we want.

A simple personal development concept called “activation energy” could help you become much more productive when used strategically. The principle is that anything that makes any given task just a little more time consuming or difficult can be all it takes to stop the task altogether.

For example, from the book the Happiness Advantage: The author wanted to play his guitar but he put it in the closet, only twenty seconds from the couch he would sit on every night. It wasn’t a big deal to get up and grab the guitar from the couch, but it just wasn’t happening.

One day he got a guitar stand which he placed conveniently right beside the couch, and immediately the difference was apparent. Every night after work when he went to relax the guitar was right there, and it was natural to grab it and start playing.

Making something just a little more convenient can be the difference between doing it and forgetting about it.


6) Get More Hours Out of Every Day

Personally, my day starts with a workout at 5:30 AM and then I work all day until till 10 pm.

I never thought I would enjoy working such long hours, but it’s made me much more satisfied than I’ve ever been before. I know that every hour spent on my goals moves the needle a little more.

It wasn’t like that before… I used to work hard, I thought, but I was always spinning my tires and getting nowhere. It turns out that I wasn’t dedicating nearly enough time to make anything substantial happen. I had way too much “free time” because I would call it a day when I got tired.

Usually, the effort required to make big goals a reality is far higher than most of us anticipate, and this will turn to frustration and eventually give up when we decide, “It doesn’t work”.

More work is the cure. If your tires are spinning and you feel like your efforts are going nowhere then you might not be doing enough.

The easiest way to assess this is to look at what you actually do with your time.

Facebook? Sitting in a bar with buddies? Watching cat videos on YouTube in the evening?

If you haven’t “made it” then you’re throwing this time away. What un-fulfilling activity could you eliminate from the day to get more quality time?


7) The Concept of Segmented Time

There’s no such thing as free time, only time. At every given moment we have to choose what we do with it.

It’s important to change our mindset about time if we ever really want to do great things. If we look at time as something that is dispensable, we’ll waste it. It’s a lack of foresight into our mortality that leads us to squander our most precious resource.

Bored?

Boredom is a product of the wrong focus. I couldn’t imagine being bored because I’m always engaged, focuses on my ambition.

To eliminate boredom first look at what you’re thinking about. If it’s not compelling or inspiring then it’s time to change your focus to something that gets you excited, then do it.


Summary

Anything that doesn’t move you forward will leave you behind.
There is no free time, only time
Every moment we can choose how to spend our time
Experience the present moment to get the most out of it
Choose quality experiences over escapism
Work hard
Take satisfying breaks to recharge
Develop grit (mental toughness)
If you’re not reaching your goals you may be focusing time on the wrong things
Create habits that help you move forward
Eliminate small barriers to prevent procrastination

Have anything to add to this article? Leave a comment below.

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Does Being Positive Or Optimistic Help?

Does Being Positive Or Optimistic Help?

Have you ever had a friend, a family member, a co-worker who seems to be always able to see the positive side of things in every situation?

As you may guess, yes these people are called the optimists.

They tend to look at the big picture for every decision they make and always find the good ones even when everything seems to be negative in their lives.

It turns out that having a positive outlook during even the most difficult circumstances is one of the most important predictors of resilience in a person.

This particular skill is what I called reframing.

Before we talk more about reframing, there has long been advocated that in order to be happy and better handle different circumstances, one has to be able to vent their anger or negative emotions to "let their steam off".

The question is, does this actually help?

The answer is research has already shown that dwelling on the negative emotions too long can actually lead one to become even angrier and more depressed.

Where your focus goes, energy flows. What you resists, persists.

People who turn their form of expression into something more positive such as a goal will end up getting over their anger or depression more quickly.

One of the most effective things you can do in order to feel better is to channel your energy of anger or depression into a more positive goal. Those individuals who are able to do this are healthier in the long run than those people are not.

Now, you may ask, why is being positive beneficial to us?

Well, most research indicated that optimistic people normally have happier and healthier lives and are more resilient overall. These people have learned how to turn their negative feelings into positive thoughts, thus improving their overall outlook on life in general.

The main reason optimistic people are more resilient than those who are negative is because they are more emotionally complex.

Optimistic people experience frustration and anxiety just like the rest of us, the difference is that they know how to fully let go of the negativity, accept the mess, reframe the situation in a more empowering way so that they can shift their mindsets into a more resourceful one.

That's why they are able to see the bigger picture and take effective actions to keep moving forward. In essence, a resilient person will use a larger range of emotions in order to deal with every situation they face.

The benefits of positive thinking are immense and if you are a negative person right now, that's okay.

There are steps that you can take in order to become more positive about life. The first thing that you must do is to step back from each situation and gain a wider perspective.

Feel the emotional arousal you've generated.

Locate the physical tension in your body, breathe into that area.

Change your state into a more resourceful one and focus your energy into finding what's good about the situation.

That's how being optimistic will help you transmute adversities into opportunities.









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The Formula for Letting Go

One of the worst ways of spending your day is worrying about something. Whether it’s troubles with money, a fight with a loved one, feeling guilty for something, it doesn’t matter. As long as your mind fixates on worrying about a certain topic, it just ruins your entire day. You can’t focus on anything else and it eats away at you, and the only solution for that is something that’s much easier said than done: letting go.

Everyone tells you to “let it go” when you’re feeling stressed about something, but almost nobody tells you how to let it go, and it’s not easy at all. Usually you try for a few minutes and realise that, if you could, you would have a long time ago. With that in mind, my goal with this post is to explain how you can take those troubles out of your head and enjoy the rest of your day.

First, I’ll show you my formula for letting go and then I’ll explain every aspect of it. Ready? Here it goes.
Can you do anything about what’s troubling you?

Yes = Do it
No = Accept that

I know it seems overly simplistic, but it’s a clear way of remembering the mindset you must have when faced with stressful situations. Let’s dive into it and figure out all the details.
Is There Anything You Can Do?

First of all, you can see that it’s very important to analyse whether you have any control over your troubles or not, because that will determine what you can do about them. If you’re stressed about the results of your job interview, then there’s nothing you can do about it but wait. If you’re feeling guilty because you didn’t work out the entire week, you can simply go to the gym and work out right now to mitigate that.

The problem is, most of the time, we don’t care whether we have control over our problems or not. We worry and worry as if it’s going to change anything, and then feel bad because it didn’t. When you stop and think about how much you can do in this situation, it starts to make that burden lighter because you start focusing on what you can do. You turn your attention to actions instead of feelings.

Once you ask yourself that question, your mindset changes. It puts you in a more logical and analytical position, which is what you need to counter that emotionally charged mindset of worrying about money or relationships, for example. With that said and done, let’s take a look at your options.
If Your Answer Is Yes

If there is something you can do about your situation, you need to figure out what it is. This will force you to accept that you either have to take action or deal with the fact that you put yourself in that position. If you can do something but won’t, you run out of excuses to keep worrying about it.

Let’s say you have a very important exam in a week and you’re feeling stressed. Can you do something about it? Yes, you can study. Now if you decide to study, you can stop feeling guilty or stressed because you are doing your part. Since all the rest isn’t in your control, your best bet is to understand that by doing your part you are giving yourself permission to not worry about it anymore. Feelings aren’t rational and chances are you’ll still feel stressed about it, but your best chance at mitigating that feeling is trying to be rational with yourself. We like to be consistent as human beings so if you show your mind that you’ve done what you could, it’ll be much easier to accept that there’s no need to worry.

However, if you can study but won’t, then you have to deal with that decision. Feeling guilty about it won’t change anything, and you’ve made your mind. In either case you need to get to a definitive answer so you can be at peace. Here you have to accept that you chose not to take action and that’s the end of the story. Put all of this in rational terms so you don’t let your emotions take over. You could do something but you won’t? Fine, then so be it. Accept that and realise that feeling guilty or worrying won’t change the fact that you won’t take action. If you know you won’t study until the night before the test, then accept that and forget about it until the day comes. If you find you can’t forget about it, then study. Whatever you choose, the only way you’ll be at peace is by giving closure to your worries. Do it or don’t, but put an end to it in your mind.

If Your Answer Is No

Now if you can’t do anything about it, it’s a very different story. When the answer was ‘yes’ you had control over certain aspects of your situation. In this case, you most likely feel powerless. It’s one thing to choose not to act and another entirely to not be able to act.

Going back to the exam situation, let’s say you took it and feel you didn’t do well. What can you do about it? Realistically, nothing. Your teacher will grade your exam and all you can do is wait for the results.

This is stressful because you fear the consequences of not doing well on your test, but you feel powerless because it’s too late to study more and you can’t retake it. The key is to understand that there’s nothing you can do, and worrying won’t change that. Although not being in control might seem like a burden, it can actually be your ticket to freedom.

Once you realise that there’s nothing you can do and that being stressed won’t change anything, the only option is letting go. If you’re able to make your mind see the rational side of it, it’ll be easier to realise that all you can do is forget about it until the results come in.

Now I know all of this is very difficult to achieve. Like I said at the beginning: easier said than done, right? But it’s still vital that we understand how this whole ‘letting go’ process should work. In order to help you actually achieve that, let’s take a look at some strategies that might help.
Strategies To Stop Worrying

Whenever we’re worried about something, it’s because we fear the consequences. There wouldn’t be a reason to be concerned with your exams if the grades didn’t stop you from passing the classes, and money wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t need it to survive. We focus on the problems that might arise and get anxious before anything even happens.

One way of easing that pain is by doing some smart thinking on these very consequences. We have a tendency to exaggerate what would happen if things went wrong, which is one of the reasons why we worry so much. When you look back, you’ll see most of your worries never came to be and were probably much more dramatic than what could have happened. This quote (usually attributed to Mark Twain) captures that feeling pretty well:

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Challenge your mind to give you concrete reasons to worry so much about everything, and you might just realise your worries might not be justified.

Now if your worries are justified, think about how big the consequences actually are. As I’ve said above, most of our fears are blown out of proportion. The best way to deal with that is by going through what would be the worst case scenario, how you would get out of it, and what is most likely to happen.

The point here is that we always find a way out, so if you force yourself to actually go through how bad the worst case scenario would be and how you would overcome it, your mind is getting used to the idea that no matter what happens, you can turn this around. It’s also a way of showing you that the consequences are usually much smaller than we make them out to be. Didn’t get the mark you needed to pass a subject in high school? You’ll do it next year; it doesn’t matter at all in the big scheme of things. Lost your life savings in an economic crash? Of course that’s much much worse, but you know you’ll survive this. There’s always a graver situation that’s been overcome before. You know you’ll find a way no matter what happens.

Letting go is about determining whether you can do something or not, and then acting on that information. It’s also about realising that our problems are much more manageable than we tend to realise. In the end, people who are at peace and comfortable with letting go understand that 90% of what we worry about doesn’t matter in the slightest. Once we focus on what is truly important, it becomes harder and harder to care about all the small annoyances of life.

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8 Simple Steps To Solve Any Problems You Face

Do you think you could solve any problem?”

No matter how big it is, or how long it has affected your life?

ANSWER:

Here are 8 simple steps to systematically solving any problem you face:

s-s-s-sounds nice, that line ;-)

OK, here they are:

1. Clearly define the ‘problem’

Most problems are actually due to a lack of communication or clarity around what the problem actually is in the first place. How many times in your life have you actually discovered that the problem you thought you had wasn’t even the problem?

Keep digging and get to the root of the problem.

How many drugs are prescribed that don’t actually cure the problem?

How many wars do you think solve the problems at hand?

Clearly define the ‘problem’ through precise questioning and active listening, and you are well on the way to the solution:

“A problem well stated is a problem half solved.”

Have a ‘How can I?’ and not an ‘I can’t’ attitude.

2. Approach the problem with the attitude that there is a logical, practical solution, even if you don’t know what it is yet.

Be relaxed, confident and clear in your mind that the solution is there, and you just need to go through a natural, necessary process to get from A. the problem, to B. the solution.

3.Change your language from the negative to positive.

Instead of the word “problem,” use the word “challenge.” Problem is a negative word while challenge defines something that is there to be solved, a task that could even be fun, something to feel a sense of achievement to.

4. What are the causes of the ‘problem’? [now 'challenge']

Failure to identify the causes or reasons for the ‘challenge’ often means the problem recurs time and again. Like Yo-You dieting is often linked to an emotional based challenge – not the food or exercise on the surface. And recurring mistakes or themes in your life are probably more deeply rooted.

It is so much faster and more powerful to get to the root cause of the challenge, than to attempt to solve the ‘surface’ of the challenge.

5. What are all the possible solutions?

List and physically write down as many solutions or answers to the ‘challenge’ as possible. The quantity of possible solutions usually determines the quality of the solution, and you will be amazed at just how many potentially limitless solutions there are to one challenge.

This also has the powerful effect of devaluing the challenge. I once wrote down 356 solutions to one problem and it made it look pretty

The longer your list, the more creative and ‘left-field’ the solution, and they are often the best. They are also often the ones you don’t usually think of, and so are new opportunities.

6. Make a decision.

Usually any decision is better than none.

People are scared to make decisions, often go around in circles, and worry that any decision they may make, might be wrong.

The only wrong decision is no decision, because even if you are not sure that the decision you have made is the right one, it will either get you one step closer to the right decision, give you the feedback you need to get to the solution, or teach you something new.

You then have the power to make even a bad decision the right one.

Have Faith in Yourself.

You have all the tools available now to solve any problem, give yourself some credit and have faith in your abilities; you’re far more amazing than you realise! – at least that’s what my Mum always told me

7. Assign responsibility for carrying out the decision with clarity.

Clearly designate the responsibility to solve the problem. The clearer, the better. If you are outsourcing or delegating the action to solve, give them autonomy to make the decisions too.

Set a deadline for completion.

A decision without a deadline is a debate.

Be practical when it comes to implementing the solution, review it, monitor it and set an end date to make it happen.

Have others buy into the decision and the end date so they take on responsibility too.

8. Follow-up, monitor the decision and feedback.

Was the outcome as you hoped or expected?

What worked? What could have been done better next time? How can we avoid having the same challenge again? Create new solutions and new courses of action.

Enjoy turning every new problem from a problem into a challenge, then a challenge into a solution :-)

Empowering Greatness in Everyone

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