Stop Letting Stress Bully You

If you don't learn how to control stress then it will control you. Stress kills and that doesn't just mean physically. It can have harmful effects on you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Too many people have just accepted living "stressed out" as a way of life. But living "stressed out" causes harmful consequences.

I have a passion to educate and empower others to stress less and live happier, healthier and more fulfilled. Living overwhelmed robs us of our joy, peace, health and happiness. And many times we don't begin to recognize the effects of stress until it is too late, meaning that we might not be aware of how stress is affecting us until we begin to feel it on our body or in our mind.

You deserve to live a happier and healthier life and stress blocks that. It is extremely difficult to live an optimal life with stress always bullying you. And that is exactly what it feels like... a bully! It can overpower you and take over you if you don't conquer it.

Stress in itself is not harmful. It is our response to it that causes harmful effects. It may seem like we don't have any power over stress but we do. We may not have control over whether the stressful event happens or not but we do have control over how we respond to it. It is critical for you to learn how to respond to stress in a positive way. Dealing with stress can actually be done in a way where it is fun, energetic and relaxing.

There are many stress relieving strategies that you can begin to incorporate into your life immediately. A day stolen by stress is a day that you will never get back. That is just one reason you must decide today that you will no longer allow stress to bully you. Take your power back and let stress know who is the boss!

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5 Ways to Recover From Terrible Failure

Failure can cause one to lose confidence and motivation. Failure can sometimes wreck havoc on our emotions and make us feel depressed. What is worse is that after failing most of us do not always wish to try again because of the negative emotions that we feel. Failure makes us avoid trying again. This can happen on a conscious and unconscious level. It is thus important that you manage what you perceive as failure well in your life to ensure that failure doesn't affect you on an unconscious level and affect your future performance as you try and achieve your goals. Some of the emotions that we experience that affect our ability to take action to create the outcomes that we seek are due to past failures. These emotions may include fear, self-doubt and a lack of confidence.

I have developed a few ways that you can use in your life to recover from failure and heal yourself so that your past failures do not affect your future performance. Here they are:

1. Manage emotions using acceptance

What we perceive as failure can cause us to have a lot of emotional strain. We may experience emotions ranging from anger to sadness and resentment depending on what the situation is. After failing it is not always possible to keep these emotions from affecting us. To recover from failure and keep these emotions under control you need to use acceptance. You need to accept that things did not go well and that there might be consequences to be dealt with from whatever that has happened. Depending on the situation, consequences as the result of failure might vary -; you might be criticised, you might be held accountable, you might have lost money, you might lose your self-confidence, you might lose your job or business. Whatever it is and whatever the consequences are, drive yourself towards acceptance because this is the only way in which you will better find creative solutions to the challenges that you might be facing. It is tempting when we face challenges to dwell on the emotional pain, to think and go over what ifs but ultimately we have no choice but to make decisions and act if we are to change our circumstances.

2. View failure as an isolated incident not an inclusive incident

In our lives sometimes we have what I call "cross contamination". When one area of our lives isn't working as well we wish it could, the unhappiness and emotional strain that we experience from the area which isn't working well gets carried across other areas of our lives. We begin to feel like nothing else in our lives is working. Cross contamination causes us to carry emotional strain from work or business to our family lives and ultimately to our health and well being. The opposite can happen as emotional strain from our family lives can sometimes extend to our workplace and ultimately our well being depending on how we respond to the problems that we face.

You need to view the specific failure that you are recovering from as an isolated incident in order to stop this from straining other areas in your life. This is not easy to do as sometimes having a bad day at work can mean a bad evening with the family or vice versa. However, if you learn to better manage your emotions and isolate problems in various areas of your life, you might be in a better position to prevent emotional strain from one area of your life to cross contaminate all other areas of your life. This can only be done through improved self-awareness and emotional discipline.

Sometimes failing in a specific area can make you feel as if you failing at everything. You need to be aware that failure in a specific area in your life doesn't mean that you will fail on every other area. So see each failure as specific and not inclusive.

3. View failure as feedback from your specific actions

After following step 1 and 2 above you should begin to be in a better emotional state to think constructively about what went wrong and what has not worked well to cause the outcomes that you did not want. With this improved emotional state you should now use failure as a learning by analyzing what really went wrong and what actions you could have taken to improve your results. Most failures are due to a lack of planning, processes that did not work well, unforeseen circumstances, failure to be pro-active and so on. This is now time for you to diagnose what didn't work with clear emotions and an open mind. So assess what went wrong and identify things that need to be improved for you to create better results in the future.

4. Commit to new actions

After diagnosing your failure and receiving feedback from it you need to commit yourself to new actions in order to fully recover from your failure. Ask yourself what you will do and no longer do as a result of the feedback you received from your failure then commit yourself to new resolutions. You can list things you will do such as early planning, better communication, improve processes etc. Listing things that you will no longer do that might have caused you to fail is as important. So also list things that you will not do in the future such as procrastinating, avoiding administrative work, communicating poorly and so on.

What is important to note is that committing to new actions will also give you an emotional boost and hope. Often when we are in distress just thinking of the next practical step to take is enough to help us have hope for better future results.

5. Remember your past successes

Remembering things you did well in the past can help you gather strength to recover from immediate failure. Have things worked well in the past? Is there historical performance that you can look to and be proud of? if so, list these great achievements and performances and make them more prominent in your mind. Remember how you felt when things worked well and rekindle these feelings to gather strength to overcome present challenges. This will help you regain your self-confidence as you plan how to better deal with the future.

Imagine what your life would be like if you had self-confidence and did not hesitate to act and create all the outcomes that you want in life. Picture yourself believing in yourself and becoming exactly who you want to be. A successful man or woman who is happy doing things that he or she loves and has great relationships. No more would you have to suffer from second guessing yourself and taking the back seat, criticizing yourself or enduring the pain of those that criticize you and do not appreciate you...

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Are You an Entrepreneur? The Answer Might Surprise You!

They don’t wait to be told what to do, or for conditions to be perfect, or to be handed the resources they need on a platter. In the spirit of a famous slogan, they just go out and do it. End of story. Sounds simple, right? But it’s not an easy process by any means.

It’s this kind of spirit that sees success as inevitable after hundreds of failures, rejections and setbacks. It’s this kind of spirit that enables the entrepreneur to pick themselves up off the floor, dust themselves off, and start all over again, even where the outcome is uncertain. It’s this kind of spirit that can hold a dream in perfect suspension in the imagination, believing in it even in the face of all odds, until the day it’s there in solid reality.

And the best part? You don’t even have to be building your own business to have entrepreneurial spirit. You can be working to transform a business – someone else’s business, or even the ‘business’ of a non-profit, university or government. This is called being an intrepreneur.

Admittedly this can be extremely challenging. You often won’t have control over all the resources you need. However, don’t forget our definition! Entrepreneurs progress with determination towards their goals despite not having the resources under their control. That’s the entrepreneurial way.

Yes, the entrepreneurial spirit is legendary. We know how to recognize it when we see it, but how do we build it? What character traits, skills and attributes should we work to develop if we wish to increase it?
Here are the 7 key skills of entrepreneurs:

Opinion varies as to the core set of skills that an entrepreneur requires. However, the ones we’ve shown below are a selection of the most popular from a variety of authority thought leaders on the subject from across the web.

1. Resilience

Remember those failures and setbacks we talked about earlier? The key trait an entrepreneur needs to get through hard times such as these is the ability to weather the storm.


“No matter how much falls on us, we keep plowing ahead. That’s the only way to keep the roads clear.” – Greg Kincaid

2. Courage

It takes a lot of bravery to stand out from the crowd and to put yourself out there in the kind of way that’s necessary to build a business from the ground up.

3. Communication

You might have the best business plan in the world, but if you can’t communicate its key messages to others effectively, that’s exactly what it will remain … a plan. Communication is a much under-rated skill, but highly essential in the world of entrepreneurship.

4. Continuous Learning

As an entrepreneur, you are often a one man – or woman – band. That means a steep and rapid learning curve in all those areas you may be lacking. But the learning doesn’t stop there! Growth will bring new challenges and new learning opportunities when it comes. Having a positive attitude towards learning new things will hold you in a good position when you encounter new challenges… which will be often!

5. Curiosity

It may well have killed the cat, but curiosity is often the spark that gets entrepreneurial efforts underway in the first place. Wonderment about the world, and about how it could be different, encourages many budding entrepreneurs to go out and seek their own solutions, often for the benefit of many others.


“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” – Albert Einstein

6. Accountability

The ability to stand up and take responsibility for your actions, even in the face of failure, will stand you in good stead in the world of business. As we’ve often heard before, people do business with people they know, like and trust, and some integrity and a firm handshake will go a long way in the entrepreneurial world.

7. Empathy

It’s often called a ‘soft skill’, but the truth is that there is nothing lesser about having empathy for others. Great business leaders run customer-centric businesses, putting customer needs at the heart of their every business transaction. In order to do this, as a leader you need to be able to put yourself in the customer’s shoes. In other words, to develop a sense of empathy for who they are and what they need.

Think you’ve got what it takes? Then you’re probably raging to get started, if you haven’t gotten started already. For those who are considering dipping their toes in the ocean of entrepreneurship, there’s a wealth of information out there on the Internet. It’s sometimes all a little hard to sift through though, so we’ve done the hard work for you, bringing you the highlights in our favourite top 3 tips, shown below:
Diversify your income stream – This is not the time to put all your eggs in one basket. Try and spread your risk across a couple of income streams in order to stay afloat when tough times hit.
Network – It’s not what you know, it’s who you know, and this is especially true in the world of business. Just know that it doesn’t have to be all about throwing your business cards around like confetti. Try and use every opportunity to make a meaningful connection with someone new.
Be prepared for hard work – The first few years are often a slog, and for many, sometimes even the years after that. Very few businesses are overnight sensations. Be prepared to work extremely hard and cultivate a sense of patience… you’ll need it!
Have you ventured into the entrepreneurship world? Please leave your thoughts below!

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10 Powerful Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Confidence gives you the power to conquer the world. It separates the fearful from the successful. Confident people face their fears and tend to be risk-takers. They live life in a positive light and are satisfied with the world around them.

Wouldn't it be amazing to live life this way? Guess what? You can. Try some of the tips listed below. Practice them daily. Over time, your self-confidence will become higher than you ever thought it could be. You will be able to overcome your fears, pursue your dreams, and sing at the next karaoke night.

Here is a list of 10 powerful ways to boost your self-confidence:

1. Think positive. The human brain has a tendency to think more negatively, it takes a conscious effort to be more positive. Either you can rule your mind or you can let it rule you -become aware of your negative self-talk. The thoughts you have about yourself are very powerful. Think about all of the amazing qualities you have instead.

2. Take care of yourself. Confidence not only comes from how you feel on the inside, but how you feel on the outside as well. Shower, spend some extra time curling your hair and wear a great outfit. And if you're a guy, then well, shave. Doing these little things will make you feel more successful and ready to tackle the world.

3. Get prepared. Whether your day is filled with meetings or exams, get prepared for them. Do the research needed for that important meeting and study hard for the exam. It's hard to be confident if you don't think you'll do well

4. Exercise. Truth is, "exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy", said by the truly confident, Elle Woods. Not only will you feel better, but you will look better. All you have to do is walk a few times a week. Create a habit and get active.

5. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often set a big goal then get discouraged when they fail. Shoot for something more achievable. You'll get a boost of confidence and be more likely to tackle the next small goal. Like a domino effect, you'll eventually reach your big goal with ease.

6. Be grateful. Being grateful is a very positive and rewarding activity. It puts your mind in a positive light and can be extremely humbling. Make a gratitude list and add to it daily. You will begin to realize all of the great opportunities you have in life and awesome qualities you possess.

7. Be kind and generous. Being kind and generous with your time is a great way to improve your self-image. Hold the door for a stranger or buy someone a coffee. It will not only improve your relationships but make you feel better, trust us.

8. Volunteer. Make the lives of others better by volunteering; in return your life will better. Could you find the time to feed the homeless, pitch in at church, or start a nonprofit?

9. Get out of your comfort zone. When you do things that make you feel a little uncomfortable, your comfort zone gets bigger and your confidence rises. You will grow as a person and learn to experience new things.

10. Keep a list of your awesomeness handy. Sit down and create a list of all of your awesome qualities. Are you smart, organized, creative, or modest? Write down your achievements. Revisit the list daily or whenever you're feeling discouraged.

Applying some of these daily can help you overcome limitations and push you to achieve your biggest goals. Feeling more confident is a necessary part of living a happier, more fulfilling life.

If you think you're lacking self-confidence and want some guidance and someone to hold you accountable to the list above, connect with one of our confidence coaches.

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What Are the Basic Principles of Self-Esteem?

How to catch the negative critic in you: 

People are often the hardest on themselves most of the time. Every time a negative or temporary life altering event on the outside happens, you begin to think about yourself as a loser and everyone else as a great life, stop that thought right there and catch it. Failures will cease to make you feel bad about yourself when you realize that they are only opportunities and not mighty hardships that God is trying to throw on you. Often, when something doesn't turn out the way you plan another opportunity comes to pass. We find it difficult to focus on what other opportunity could possibly be better and only focus on what did not happen.

Stop comparing yourself to others: Though it's been said a million times already, it still holds true that every single individual on this planet is unique in their way. What matters is not whether you are as good as the rest of the woman, but whether you are good at being you and showing your own gifts and talents with others. People have different lives and circumstances and have their successes and failures. You may think someone else has a better life because they have more money than you or a better husband or better friends, family or job. What you don't always know, is the skeletons in their closet that we all have.

Respect yourself first: Love yourself more: Because if you don't respect yourself, then how can you expect others to respect you? Accept yourself, however you are at this moment, and that means physically and mentally. Physically, some of us are more endowed with good looks than others. Some of us have sharper minds than our peers, and that's perfectly fine. Whoever you are and however you are, there will always be something in you that absolutely nobody else will have.

You have to allow for someone to make you feel bad: If somebody were to throw mud at you, would you just stand there and let it hit your head, hair or clothes or would you simply move aside and let it pass by you? The choice is yours. You cannot stop people from throwing stones and telling you all that they do, but you can choose to accept it and make you feel bad or not accept it. Be very choosy and picky when it comes to taking advice from just anyone. Ask yourself if it makes sense and is it helping you or is it being given by alternative motives. If it's not helping you, then discard it. Associate with genuine, real positive people who will help you and feel good about yourself as a woman.

Keeping a journal. I don't want to hear how you don't have time. With technology today you can write notes in your phone which is probably by your side most of the day. Write something good about yourself every day. Whenever you feel down and low in self-esteem, open up your journal to encourage yourself once again.

Do unto others: Do one good thing to someone or something every day without expecting anything in return. It could be anything, from feeding a stray dog, giving a complement to helping the elderly. When you can help someone else in their suffering or pain especially if it's a pain or situation you have been through you're actually healing yourself as well in return without realizing it.

Express your talents: Pick a hobby you are good at and become even better at it. Pride in something that you do helps to create a positive self-esteem Examples of hobbies can be gardening, writing blogging, embroidering, sewing or even wood refurnishing. It is hard to be down on yourself when you have created something physical and can look at it with pride and say to yourself "Look at what I have created".

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Did You Know That You Can Build Self Confidence Through Positive Thinking?

The state of your mind dictates many aspects of your life, including your health, the success you achieve in your career, the love, and stability in your personal life, and much more. Negative thoughts lower your level of confidence, which in turn harms your mental state.

A lack of self-confidence plagues many people, though it comes in different levels. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Some people have no confidence at all, while others may exhibit a lack of it under certain situations like on dates with the opposite sex. The good news is that you can do a lot towards building your self-confidence.

By integrating positive thinking into your life, you can slowly push out these negative thoughts for good, and heighten your level of confidence.

The first step is believing that you are worthy of confidence, and that means having a healthy self-esteem where you love who you are without reservation or conditions. If self-esteem is a major issue, a good therapist can go a long way to helping in this regard.

Here are five effective ways to change your mindset and become a more confident individual.

5 Tips For Building Confidence Through Positive Thinking

No matter where you are on the spectrum of self-confidence, whether very low or somewhere in the middle or even near the top, these steps will help you reach that next level.

Self-Appraisal

The first step is building confidence is to truly become in touch with all your great qualities, talents, abilities and attributes. Who are you? What makes you a good person? What do you excel at? What is in your heart? What kind of friend are you? Are you funny? Honest? Caring? Giving? Answering these questions and literally making a list is a great beginning to identifying those things that build our confidence. How you think about yourself actually has a great deal to do with your confidence level. Many are negative thinkers by habit, one that has become engrained in us over the years, possibly starting in childhood when raised by critical parent(s). Make a list, and begin to reinforce this list to yourself daily. Include aspects of your appearance, your talents, activities that you're good at and who you truly are. Anytime you feel upset or are thinking negative thoughts, take out this list and remind yourself of your best qualities.

Self-Praise

While too much self-praise could lead to pride, a healthy dose of self-praise on a regular basis can be extremely useful for building confidence. Positive affirmations push out negative perceptions and create a stronger self-image. You should habitually praise yourself for doing something well or for a new behavior that you want to encourage. It may seem strange telling yourself, "Great job!" or "I like myself," or "I've got this!" but this is the kind of positive thinking that helps you feel better about who you are. If you are a more visual person, it may be helpful to write down a list every day of all your achievements. Meditative on the items on your list before bed, and congratulate yourself for all the achievements of the day.

Accepting Compliments

Many people with low self-esteem brush off and negate compliments with statements like, "I messed up my painting here and here" or "My shirt isn't that great, it's just the first thing I grabbed." Other people will seem to receive the compliment but then internally tell themselves why it isn't true. Compliments are confirmation from other people about your admirable qualities. You should accept the compliments with grace by simply saying "thank you," or "I so appreciate your noticing," so that your mind continuously affirms your positive traits. Stay conscious of each time you negate someone's compliment, and do better next time.

Creative Visualization Exercises

Creative visualization is becoming an increasingly popular way to help people obtain their goals. The concept calls for you to repeatedly visualize the outcome of your goal. If you are an actor, you might envision yourself holding an Oscar. If you are aiming to build your confidence, you may want to envision an action that represents confidence from your own perspective. It could be something like leading a meeting with top executives or asking for a raise. Through creative visualization, you are building confidence by mentally preparing yourself for your desired outcome(s).

Positive People

Do you have a friend or acquaintance who continually brings you down, whether intentionally or unintentionally? You may want to consider whether that person should remain in your life. Even if the person is family, you need to separate yourself from that person however possible. If he or she isn't respecting you, then he or she will have to understand that you two can no longer associate until respect is part of the relationship. This may sound harsh, but negative people have one of the strongest, if not the strongest, impact on your self-confidence. While it may be difficult to let go of that relationship, it is a necessary step towards building your self-confidence.

Remember, building your confidence is not going to happen overnight. Integrate these tips into your life, and over time, you will see change. The most important point to remember is that positive thinking is key to building confidence. Whenever you feel the negative thoughts creeping in, turn them around into something positive.

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Why You Should Improve Your Emotional Intelligence Before A Job Search

In today’s volatile employment market it is difficult to land a job that we want, like and are good at doing. It is even more difficult to do that without honing all of our skills to perfection.

When job-hunting, most of us focus on our achievements, our brains, appearance, and personality. That is all good, but there is one thing that gets overlooked on a constant basis: emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is an important bit of the puzzle, something that employers are testing for extensively, even though it is a soft skill. Years ago, research showed that employees with average IQ will outperform employees with higher IQ.

It was a bit of a head-scratcher; you would assume, logically, that a smarter person would perform better at any given task.

The research proved otherwise and, ever since, emotional intelligence has been the tipping factor when it comes to deciding between two, otherwise, similar job applicants.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is something intangible within us all, something deeply rooted that helps us understand ourselves and understand others.

It is a set of skills that govern how we perceive ourselves, how we control our emotions, how we manage our time, but also how good are we at relating to other people, their experiences, and their emotions.

Some people are, unfortunately, emotionally stunted. They are not all that good at socializing, reading social cues, or showing empathy towards their fellow man.

This can be a detrimental factor if you are looking for a job. Luckily, your emotional intelligence is something you can work at and, with practice, you will get a lot better at managing yourself and other people as well.

3 Reasons to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Benefits of improving your emotional intelligence are numerous; it is a skill that when developed to a degree, will help you in both your personal and professional life. Before embarking on a long and trying process of job search, it is important to challenge ourselves and to see what we are actually after.

Boosting EI will help you in few categories that are crucial for job success. First of those things is self-awareness. Emotionally intelligent people have a clear-cut understanding of who they are and where they are headed.

They are able to be brutally honest towards themselves, evaluating their strengths and weaknesses with ease. This is an important competency to have when looking for employment.

Being honest towards yourself, understanding what you are suited for and can actually do, means that you are less prone to wasting your or the interviewers time.


1. Self-Awareness


Self-awareness is something that helps us recognize our feelings. It allows us to rule over them instead of letting them get the best of us.

Bursts of self-pity or anger, when displayed during an interview, do not get you on the top of the list of candidates. Self-awareness comes coupled with self-regulation. People who are composed and able to think before they act are also much better at reacting to change.


2. Motivation

Motivation is also influenced by emotional intelligence.

Although motivation is governed by many things, it is important to note that people with higher emotional intelligence are motivated mostly by immaterial things and they are willing to sacrifice short-term success for a long-term vision.

Building up you emotional intelligence will help you put things in perspective, so when you show up for an interview you will not be a deflated, old tire, but a motivated, highly productive individual that can contribute to the company in many ways.

Interviewers pick up on those things.

3. Empathy & Social Skills

Empathy and social skills are the most important weapons in the arsenal of emotional intelligence. Empathy in particular; it enables you to pick up signals from other people, to sense how they are feeling and to adjust your behavior accordingly.

This can be a very handy tool during an interviewing process; in fact, it is an important skill to have when going through life in general. Empathetic people are great listeners and are easy to confide in; they make for naturally born leaders.

They are open and appreciate the opinion of other people. In short, they are a kind of people every company wants to hire.


Summary

So if you are currently looking for employment, you’re smart and capable and have achieved great results in the past, but are unsure of where you stand with emotional intelligence, test yourself.

Take a deep look at all the things we mentioned above and assess how good you are at them.

If you think you are not very good at some of them, practice! The brain is a marvelous instrument and you can condition it to adapt and to change.

Use emotional intelligence strategies to help you achieve your goals; listen more attentively, curb your reactions, try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. It will make a better person and a better employee!

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10 Ways Reading Enhances Personal Development

As a tween, I loved the Nancy Drew Mystery Series. I wanted to be like Nancy Drew. She had such a good head on her shoulders, even though she was constantly facing danger and never quite “hooking” Ned, the handsome guy whom the wealthy beautiful Helen was always throwing herself upon.

Through those characters, I was able to gain insight into the types of people I encountered in my daily life – character types – good, bad, selfish and unselfish, etc. This series probably began my love affair with books that continues today.

In high school, of course, we read all of the classics – To Kill a Mockingbird, Romeo and Juliet, The Grapes of Wrath, Moby Dick, Hamlet, The Glass Menagerie, Crime and Punishment, The Great Gatsby, A Tale of Two Cities, and more.

Why Reading Enhances Personal Development

I don’t remember ever not liking a book we were reading. That continued in college too. And as an adult, the love affair continues, although some non-fiction is added to the list now and then.

But fiction is the great teacher – contributing to our own personal development in at least the 10 following ways:


1) Insight into Human Nature

We meet every possible personality through reading, and we gain understanding of what motivates the behaviours of people.

We can study the characters that appear on those pages, watch them as they react and respond to one another, deal with conflict, and expose their strengths and weaknesses. We gain perspective on such things as unselfishness, greed, ambition, egoism – the types of personality traits we encounter in real life.

Through analysing these characters in literature, I have developed better methods of dealing with people in my world.


2) Problem-Solving

One of the great things about literature is that the main character always has a conflict and problems to solve.

How those problems are solved, and the process that is used, gives us great training on solving problems (often how not to solve them) with which we are faced in life.

Of course, Romeo and Juliet did not solve their problems well, and we learn from this play the dangers of impulsivity – a good lesson for teenagers. Avid readers come to learn how to avoid the mistakes that fictional characters often make.


3) Imagination

As we age, many of us lose the imagination that so entertained us when we were children.


When we are taken to new places and meet unique people, our imaginations are stimulated. We place ourselves in those surroundings and imagine what they must be like. Science fiction does that for me, as do historical novels such as A Tale of Two Cities.

James Michener was a master at stimulating the imaginations of his readers – we are able to put ourselves there, geographically and historically, as his saga unfold. Nurturing our imaginations allows new ideas and divergent thinking.

4) Vocabulary and Language Skills

Avid readers have much larger vocabularies than those who avoid the past-time. And the reading of good books provides models of good language and writing. Research shows that the language development, both oral and written, that is fostered from reading books, results in better learning all around.

Adults who have read a lot and who continue to read are able to grasp complex written material far easier, and they are better writers overall. These are career skills which are difficult to learn later in life.


5) Relief from Stress/Escape

The mental and physical effects of stress are well documented. To relive stress, we engage in a number of activities – physical exercise, meditation, and, yes, reading. Studies have shown that blood pressure is reduce during the act of reading.

And reading allows us to focus on something other than our stressors and problems. A good story line carries us away to another place – a much healthier form of escape than alcohol or drugs.


6) Readers Develop Empathy and Tolerance

Empathy is the ability to place yourself “into the shoes” of another and see a problem, a circumstance, and a behaviour from their perspective.

As we do this in our reading, so it transfers over to real life. We learn to be less judgement of others, understanding that we have not had the experiences that have formed their personalities.


7) Readers are More Interesting People
The exposure to history, politics, the law, and unusual places, becomes a store of knowledge that we hold in our memories.

This knowledge base allows us to converse on a variety of topics, both socially and professionally. People with large bases of general knowledge are more highly valued in the professional world.


8) Readers Gain a larger Perspective

Ignorance of other cultures, religions, and ethnicity fosters hostility and fear. Knowledge and understanding of all of these fosters communication, acceptance and tolerance.

Given the global perspective which all of us must develop, reading is the next best thing to actual experience. And when we do face actual experiences with cultures, belief systems and other ethnicity, we have the understanding to establish solid and mutually respectful relationships.


9) Readers See Cause/Effect Relationships

Seeing cause-effect relationships is a critical thinking skill that is highly valued. Through fiction, we are able to see how choices that people make have an impact not only on themselves but on others around them and sometimes on society as a whole.

Readers come to understand the need to consider all of the possible effects when hard choices need to be made.


10) Readers Have Important “Alone Time”

The world is a busy place. We spend our days surrounded by others, inundated with stimuli that bombard our senses and our minds. Sometimes, it is difficult to shut down all of that stimulation and get the rest we need.

When we read, especially at the end of the day, our worlds becomes quiet. Our brains begins to settle down and prepare us for rest. Readers have a much easier time falling asleep at night – who doesn’t need a good night’s sleep?



The benefits of reading cannot be over-stated.

They are intellectual, psychological, and healthy. But even more than that, reading takes to places in our minds that we would never go otherwise. Read on!

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How Effective Are You?

How Effective Are You?

I've been giving a lot of thought to making and keeping commitments. I know that's a really far out concept for most people but what does it mean to you as a home based business owner? The ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves and the other people who touch our lives and our integrity to keep those commitments is at the basest level of our strength of character. In keeping commitments, even the small ones we become aware of our own self control and it gives us the strength and the courage to accept more responsibility. So, mood is no longer a factor in our daily dealings but our honor in keeping those commitments becomes all important.

We can make promises or set goals and keep them! Our personal effectiveness is based on the power we have to make and keep those commitments. How effective are you? We can continually work on improving our personal and professional effectiveness by keeping those commitments creating strength of character along with the effectiveness we seek.

We always hear, "be part of the solution, not the problem" and truer words where never spoken. You can be the light, the model, not the critic. How effective is a critic anyway? If you make a mistake, OWN IT, correct and learn from it and move on. Blaming and accusing or beating yourself up is not effective. What does it produce? It instead destroys faith, relationships, and the desire to change the situation. Don't obsess over other peoples shortcomings, take the high road. It's not what their doing or not doing. If you think the problem is "out there" or someone else, look closer. That whole thought process is the problem. Throw away that script and re-write it to a more positive, effective and dare I say, BALANCED outcome.

In the words of Steven Covey "We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately... for most of our circumstances." We are responsible for our own actions and our behavior have direct consequences or "circumstances" in our lives.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Can you think of one small commitment that you can make to your business or family today? Can you be a more effective business owner, dad, sister just by making and keeping one small commitment? How do you think that your business or family would thrive? Just try it for 30 days and I'm sure you will see amazing differences in your business success and life.

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10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?

Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?

Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.

In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.

Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.

10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:

1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist

If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.

You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.

2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.

In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.

3. You Are Self-Motivated

Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.

You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.

4. You Care About Others

People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.

That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.

You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarize their statements and questions to show that you understand.

5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

If you have high emotional intelligence, you realize that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.

You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.

You recognize that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.

6. You’re Not Easily Distracted

You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.

You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognize the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.

You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.

7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance

No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognize the importance of making time for a social life.

You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.

You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.

You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.

8. You Know When to Say ‘No’

You have a lot of self-discipline.

Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognize that you can’t do everything.

You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”

Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.

9. You Don’t Fear Change

You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognize that it leads to better things.

10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions

You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.

You know that anger needs to be properly channeled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.

You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.

If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.

Summary

How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!

You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.

Simple things such as journaling about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.

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