Improving The Quality Of Your Life One Step At A Time

Feel like your life is bankrupt sometimes? Knowing how to improve the quality of your life can't be left for chance or vague notions.

Knowing how others have improved the quality of their lifestyles is what you need. Here are 7 keys to guarantee the quality and substance of your life will get better:

1. You can't deny that all of your life hinges upon the quality of your health. Without good health, you can't maintain the lifestyle you desire, and good health doesn't stay by accident. Paying attention to your health is the starting place for improvement.

2. The way you handle finances has a direct bearing on the condition of every part of your life. Irresponsibility to money causes untold stress in every part of life. Personal money management is a must when it comes to improving your life.

3. The condition of your life is reflected by the friends you keep. You are the people you surround yourself with. Are your friends exemplifying the quality of life you desire? Chose friends wisely for the best life possible.

4. Gratitude is the unsung hero of all great people living dynamic and enhanced lives. Gratitude includes a thank you, but goes much deeper. Thankfulness for what you have is an attitude that when practiced brings life beyond your wildest expectations.

5. Simplicity is the opposite of confusion and drama. Make your life as simple as possible by deleting everything in it that you don't truly love. Take a look around your home, and decide what you truly need, and use. Discard everything else so that your life has room to expand and improve.

6. Give, give, give. Don't be tricked into thinking that giving what you have no use for will expand the quality of your life. To watch the quality of your life explode start looking around for someone in need of what you have already. Give your money, your possessions, and your time. When you give what you use and need it will come back many times over.

7. Last and not least is a plan to learn how to improve the quality of your life. Set aside an hour each week to do nothing more than think and read about methods for making your life better. This will make you conscious of what needs changing and how to change.

Getting the most out of anything always requires giving all you have, and life is no different. Make your life a long and rewarding adventure when you live it with a conscious intention to make it great.

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Deep Diving Out Of Procrastination

Procrastination - we're all guilty of this. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. So just why do we procrastinate at times? Recent research has revealed that we put off things that we don't like to do. In psychobabble - task averse

When we have tasks to do that we consider unpleasant, unenjoyable, boring, frustrating, difficult or that we resent we are more likely to put these off and avoid them if possible.

This just seems to be common sense and logic so far. What else has the research uncovered? Come on Frank, get to the good stuff!

Okay, you've twisted my arm. The other thing that is important to note from the research is that the way we look at these tasks change over the life of the task. Early on, the more meaningful and purposeful the task is to what we imagine in our lives, the higher we rate that task as enjoyable. Later in the life of that same task what might make them aversive is not having them defined properly.

So, based on the above we might find ourselves needing to have different strategies to finish off the tasks that we have given ourselves!

In very plain English, imagine you have decided that you are going to lose 10Kgs by going to the gym. In the early stages, motivation is quite simple because you still have the main goal in focus. Come day 3 of getting up early for the gym... different story!

What's in it for me?

Simple. We can take this knowledge and apply it accordingly. If you need to get yourself motivated early on in a project, task or goal - make it more meaningful to your overall life goals. This should give you the kick-start that you need at that point in time.

When you find yourself beginning to look at the tasks in front of you with dread later in the project, perhaps remind yourself of what that small piece actually means to you as part of the bigger picture. Secondly, at this part of the journey - make sure that the tasks are clearly defined and structured so that there are no gray areas or uncertainty. Break down any complex task into more easily managed ones.

One Final Thought

Perception is reality.

Thinking that tasks are boring will make them boring.

Thinking that tasks are going to be hard will make them hard.

If you can change the way you look at the tasks in front of you, you will actually change your own behavior.

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ABCs of Stress Management

The ABCs of Stress Management Is Awareness, Balance and Control.

Stress is created when external or internal demands made on an individual are in excess of his coping strategies and capabilities. Let us illustrate how physical stress is formed. If you are asked to pick up a glass of water and place it on the table it is not stressful. If you are asked to pick up the glass of water and fill it to the brim without dropping any water outside, it is mildly stressful. If you are asked to hold that full glass of water for two hours without dropping any water, you will get totally stressed out.

Awareness

How stressed are you? Do you feel that you have absolutely no worries and stress in the world? Then you are lucky indeed to be part of the minority of the population today. For most of us stress plays an important part of our daily lives. It disrupts our energy levels, affects our performance and can be a huge drain on our resources. Becoming aware that one is experiencing stress is also difficult as people have got used to being under fire from all sides. It is not a natural state and will affect the health of a person in the longterm.

Balance

Once you are aware of the fact that you get stressed in certain situations, what do you do next? It is now time to manage stress levels better. Keep yourself primed for action without the accompanying tension. This can be accomplished by ensuring that you balance out the stress you are feeling in a certain situation in an optimum manner. You can avoid or modify certain stressors right away on your own. Other stressors may need some contribution from outside influences. The idea is to get hold of the problematic stressors and neutralize them.

Control

Here the idea is not to control the stress. Instead it is to control your own reaction to them. By directing one's own actions and thoughts it is possible to stay in a positive frame of mind. This defeats the stress and allows you a measure of self responsibility and control. A good night's rest is often one of the best ways to control stress. It is easier to deal with issues when you are well fed, well rested and healthy. So make sure that you actively look after your physical body and stress will begin to disappear.

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Stop Letting Stress Bully You

If you don't learn how to control stress then it will control you. Stress kills and that doesn't just mean physically. It can have harmful effects on you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Too many people have just accepted living "stressed out" as a way of life. But living "stressed out" causes harmful consequences.

I have a passion to educate and empower others to stress less and live happier, healthier and more fulfilled. Living overwhelmed robs us of our joy, peace, health and happiness. And many times we don't begin to recognize the effects of stress until it is too late, meaning that we might not be aware of how stress is affecting us until we begin to feel it on our body or in our mind.

You deserve to live a happier and healthier life and stress blocks that. It is extremely difficult to live an optimal life with stress always bullying you. And that is exactly what it feels like... a bully! It can overpower you and take over you if you don't conquer it.

Stress in itself is not harmful. It is our response to it that causes harmful effects. It may seem like we don't have any power over stress but we do. We may not have control over whether the stressful event happens or not but we do have control over how we respond to it. It is critical for you to learn how to respond to stress in a positive way. Dealing with stress can actually be done in a way where it is fun, energetic and relaxing.

There are many stress relieving strategies that you can begin to incorporate into your life immediately. A day stolen by stress is a day that you will never get back. That is just one reason you must decide today that you will no longer allow stress to bully you. Take your power back and let stress know who is the boss!

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Own Your Time

No matter whether you are in a locker room, boardroom, courtroom, fire station, classroom, on an assembly line, opera/ ballet rehearsal or concert, hospital operating room or in another setting, being in controls of your time matters!

Lesson one: Coach Wooden "Never be late": Own Your Time

Coach John Wooden, the winning-est coach in basketball always started and ended his practices on time. Coach always arrived early to practice to make sure everything was set up properly. Practice was for 2 to 2 ½ hours and Coach planned every minute of practice. His practice plans were reduced to a 3x5 cards and afterwards his assistant coach copied every practice session plan putting it in a notebook with all the other practice sessions to keep a record of it.

Coach Wooden did not waste time. He said, "I would privately review my notebook from the previous year's practice for that exact day, looking for clues as to what had been effective and what did not work as well. In fact I regularly reviewed notes from two or three years back-sometimes more." ("Wooden On leadership" by John Wooden & Steve Jamison)

His meetings with his assistant Coaches were timed too. He would also ask for their suggestions and try them out during practice. When their suggestions worked, they would be added for future practices!

Lesson two: Toastmasters Meeting Run on Time: Own your time

At Toastmasters they watch the time. Meetings begin and end on time. Every minute of the meeting is timed. Speeches are also timed! The first time I visited a Toastmasters Club they handed me an "Agenda" with the time the meeting was to start, how many minutes each portion of the meeting was to be, and what time the meeting would end. Toastmasters' is an organization that helps "members improve their communication, public speaking, and leadership skills." Toastmasters teaches you to "own your time". Visit a Toastmaster club near you to see a timed Toastmasters meeting.

Lesson three: Being on Time, Punctuality is the Key: Businesses have to run on time to stay in business. Employees are being paid to be good team members who are dependable, disciplined; experts in their field, and must arrive at work on time. They also have a positive attitude, a respect for others, and an appreciation for their time too! Businesses and employees own their time.

Tardy Employees Lose Money at a Business: You have heard the saying "Time is money". At a company I was asked to consult with, employees were arriving late to work and leaving early. These employees were cheating the company each day of money and time. Work was not being completed and other employees could not depend on these delinquent team members. Moral was not good, Companies can go under because of this employee negligent behavior. Managers at the company had done performance reviews of these tardy employees separately and had asked questions to try to correct the situation. It was not working.

I read an article by Zig Ziglar, a motivational expert and mentor to Dr. John Maxwell, of how he had helped a company with similar problems correct the situation by having them announce to their employees that they would be installing "time clocks". Zig Ziglar said after a month the new "time clocks" were working well and productivity, teamwork, and attitude had improved. After the time clocks were installed, Managers did evaluation reports on the tardy employees weekly, to make them accountable and charge their behavior.

Zig Ziglar "Changed the Picture": Own your time

Zig Ziglar had changed the picture at this company by helping them install time clocks in order for his employees to receive their paychecks. By doing this employees became productive, had an improved attitude, did better work, completed assignments on time, and became responsible and accountable for their time on the job.

After reading Zig Ziglar's article I suggested to the company I was assisting that they announce at a meeting that they were installing "time clocks" and each employee was to sign in and sign out each day. After the time clocks were in operation and the company employees had been signing in and out for a month the employees were more productive, had a positive attitude, and became more responsible and accountable for their work. Managers were also doing evaluation reports on the tardy employees weekly as a reminder to them.

Concerts and Rehearsal Begin and End On Time:

As a musician playing the violin and viola, I have played concerts with Frank Sinatra, Natalie Cole, Lou Rawls in concert and performed concerts as a soloist, with orchestra, playing in opera or ballet orchestras, and in chamber groups around the world. The timing in every piece is important. Concerts and rehearsals must begin and end on time. Each piece must be timed to the minute.

In fact as a musician I always arrive early to warm up and get ready before the rehearsal or concert begins. In running any business it is imperative that employees show up on time and leave on time each day. Time management is a must in every part of your life. Without managing your time there is no discipline. Own your time.

What one thing can you do to "own your time" every day?

Like Coach Wooden and Toastmasters, plan every minute of your workday and your family time in advance and put it on your schedule. Stick to your schedule and own your time.

Rabbi Harold Kushner and Senator Paul Tsongas said, "Nobody on their death bed has ever said, "I wish I had spent more time at the office." Let your legacy be that you spent quality-focused time with your family and made sure your business was successful too. Own your time!

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4 Tips To Improve And Boost Your Self-Confidence

Many people today believe that having self-confidence has something to do with ones accomplishments or societal status. Others think it has something to do with having a certain kind of body, the way one looks or even how popular they are with friends and society in general. The idea of self confidence is perhaps one that women need a lot of clarity on because often times we see promotions on what new thing to get, which make-up to use and which "fix you up" products that are all supposed to magically give you an increased sense of self-worth and greater confidence. But does any of this really work?

Personally I know it doesn't work at all for I started off trying to get rid of my insecurities, self-loathing and criticism by buying all the best things I could find to enhance my beauty and confidence.

What experience has shown me, which numerous researches conducted can now confirm is that nothing can increase your self-esteem and self- confidence. Your happiness, fulfillment and overall well-being is very much limited or expanded by your level of confidence and self-esteem. No external thing therefore can truly bring you joy and fulfillment or that sense of deserving except a belief in your own value, which is always determined by your level of inner confidence, and belief in your own Self.

In our modern and rapidly developing society where material possessions are considered a standard measure of value, more and more people are secretly battling with this idea and try to mask whatever emotions they might have by working harder than ever to get more stuff, bigger accolades and more social recognition in the hopes that this will in some way fill the inner void that continues to brew.

This is the worst way to build your success or your self-esteem because none of the outer possessions no matter how good will ever satisfy you or even last very long. They aren't meant to add or complete you where you feel a lack, when we use them for such, we welcome all the evils that divine teachings have warned us against.

What is self-confidence and where does it come from?

Confidence is defined as the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on something or someone. Self-confidence then is the feeling or belief that you can have faith in and rely on your Self.

It all comes from the Self and the error we have made far too many times is in making our capacity, abilities and sense of worth dependent on something other than self. Which brings me to the first point I wish to drive home, the self is the real, infinite and eternal you. But that self-experiencing your current life is under a certain belief, idea, concept about who and what it is. This idea is called self-image. It is the image of self that your mind has believed and defined as you. If this image is healthy and built or a right foundation then you have a great thriving lifestyle because your confidence is booming which means you're deliberately designing and generating the kind of conditions rolling out in your life. However if for one reason or another you didn't form a healthy and true image of self, then real confidence and belief in yourself is something you struggle with which naturally reflects on the quality of life you get to experience on a daily basis.

For the most part, we see all the erred views on self-confidence and self-esteem stemming out of this false paradigm and approach to the self, which causes people to look to the external rather than to the self for a strong, confident and a high sense of value and worth as human individuals simply from just "being" instead of doing or having a particular thing.

The difference between a person who's got a good healthy self-confidence and one who doesn't isn't about how they physically look, what they have or the kind of accomplishments they've made. It's a deeper more profound knowledge and understanding as well as complete appreciation and embracing of all that they are. One of the question's I get asked the most is: What can I do to increase my level of confidence? Here are a few ways:

1. Disentangle your real Self from your conceptions of self

The great endeavour we all need to frequently do as we often get lazy and get pulled back into mass kind of thinking is to disentangle the real Self from the beliefs attached to the self. The "I" in you is the real Self and is not the idea of you that you've formed throughout your lifetime. Your real Self is independent of all the conditions, labels and attachments you developed while on earth. It is this self that gives you life and makes it possible for you to even read this now.

This same self is the one you must learn to believe in, have faith and rely on implicitly. But since many people have no idea how to access or live from this self, the outside alternatives have continued to be promoted because humanity has long gotten used to the idea of looking for power outside in the world of effects. We find it difficult to trust in what is beyond our intellect and yet we can feel that all things tangible are limited. You self-confidence will increase greatly when you learn to tap into your real Self and live from that authentic and infinitely powerful aspect of your existence.

2. Learn the truth about perfection and imperfection

Mankind has gotten so used to the idea of being imperfect. It's drilled in almost all schools of life and the idea of perfection has been given such a bad humanistic and almost vain taste that stating it here I know will arouse the criticism of the uninitiated minds. But the truth always stands and it is that you are perfect! You were born perfect and that's why you innately feel as though you need to express it.

Because you are spiritually perfect, there is no need to ever believe that something needs to be added or fixed. No need to ever believe that you need to seek it because being already perfect, the process of human living is the progressive unfolding and evolving of that inherent perfection. Start viewing yourself as such and life will show you just how perfect you can be as long as you continue progressively moving forward with ease and confidence in who you really are.

3. Discover the biggest war zone in the world and heal it

This is a big one for most people everywhere. Do you know that one of the biggest and hardest habits to break for the human being is that of self-judgment? Neuroscience found this to be one of the most detrimental habits most people indulge in almost unconsciously.

Within your mind is an ever on-going conversation about everything you are experiencing and especially about yourself. This conversation needs to be guarded and reshaped to reflect the kind of lifestyle you wish to manifest before you can hope to have it as your reality. If that conversation is only fault-finding, blaming, arguing and criticizing it will be very difficult for you to ever feel good enough or worthy of a good life. People spend so much time worried about the outside world while if only they could go quiet and listen in, they would soon discover a similar war going on internally.

4. Learn to embrace

Embrace all of you. Not just the good parts but all of you... Ambiguity is natural to you because you exist as Body - Mind - Spirit. When you discover the kind of image you have attached to your "I", it's probable you'll even feel ashamed that you attached such a disgraceful belief to yourself and let it define who you are. We all experience that - but what you need to know is that it doesn't really matter anymore as long as you're now awake and ready to take action and create an image that truly reflects the kind of person you want to be. Hiding, feeling ashamed or guilty over the things you discover from your old beliefs and mindset does nothing except harm you and keep you stuck.

Don't forget these are just a few tips on a very deep topic that every individual needs to work on intimately because it makes all the difference in the quality of life. I have a lot more on this topic and you can have more access in greater details of ways to help you recreate your self-image.

Above all else, understand that changing yours self-image and improving your confidence requires time and consistent practice because it's a major factor in mastery of self. As with all things, the mastery requires certain consistent effort and practice to be invested before the great harvest can be enjoyed. But every step along the way will already move you closer to your ultimate goal and small manifestations that help you track your progress will always be noted so keep working at it, start with these simple ideas and trust that you are all it takes to be this new you that you want to bring into physical reality.

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Goal Objectives- Looking Ahead To Get Ahead With Planning

With goal objectives in mind, consider the organizers of a marathon race. They take time to mark out the course. The way is planned. Otherwise reaching the finish line would be a matter of chance depending on whether a runner just happened to be in the area to see it!

Likewise reaching goal objectives requires planning.

It's important to identify obstacles and also how to acquire help.

The Steps

Make a list of possible obstacles and yet another list of knowledge, people or organizations that could help you.

Also there is a need for deadlines and the need to make another list of manageable slices or segments leading toward the main goal.

The next step involves using all the information gathered from these two previous steps.

Combine all these lists and put them in a logical order

Lay out the manageable steps in order of progression interweaving the details from your obstacles list and help list.

Get a large sketch pad and play around with the order of things until the plan begins to flow towards your goal objectives.

Acquiring knowledge for example would come before contacting people or organizations.

Once you have educated yourself a little you can ask intelligent questions and get valuable answers and leads.

Without knowledge you don't even know what you need to know to be able to ask!

Make sure your plan is not too rigid!

Otherwise any deviation from the course could spell disaster if the plan is not flexible!

So factor in room for the unexpected when moving towards your goal objectives.

If one deadline is missed it should not jeopardize the rest of the plan.

Have more than one option open at crucial stages.

The flow can then follow a different route and still arrive at the same destination and achieve your goal objectives.

Once this session is completed you now have an action plan.

The course to the finish line for your goal is set. The way is marked out.

Why The Planning Stage Is Crucial

This step is a tremendous confidence booster and it is extremely practical.

Without planning you can drop out of the race early on.

When it comes to your goal objectives, by looking ahead through planning you get ahead and stay ahead!

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Tips on Boosting Your Self-Confidence

How you feel about yourself truly does affect your interaction with others.

It truly saddens me when I hear women using negative talk when referring to themselves. We aren't born with self confidence but it is something that we gain throughout our lives. There are many things that we encounter over the years to help build or break that confidence but ultimately it is up to us to maintain our own self-confidence. Those who lack self-confidence are truly losing out on opportunities for happiness, fun, growth and often love.

Here are just a few tips that anyone can use to help build self-confidence 

Start off each morning and end each day with a positive statement or thought. Create your own mantra. (i.e: "I am intelligent", "I will have a positive day", "I will succeed".)

Get to know the TRUE you and accept yourself. The more you accept your true self the more others will do the same.

Make a list of all your positive characteristics and achievements. Keep adding to this list as time goes on and be sure to keep your list in a place where you can access it and read it at will.

Choose your words/thoughts carefully: Take time to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you are faced with a challenging task -- instead of saying something like: "I will never get this done on time" try to rephrase that and say something like: "When I finish this task I will treat myself to something nice" or "This may be challenging but I can do this".

Take what you are good at and enhance it. Let others know about it! Hold you head up high and proud and know you have a special gift inside of you.

Building up self-confidence takes time and commitment but it is well worth it. You will soon find yourself embracing yourself and giving off a very positive energy that will surely come back to you.

I would love to hear what you think and any tips YOU have! Feel free to comment below. 

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Motivation - How to Get Motivated and Stay That Way

Getting excited about something new is human nature. Starting a new job. Opening up a new business. A new relationship. Your first day of working out. Starting meal prep. Anything new is exciting until it's not new anymore. Once you learn all the nuances of your new job, it's not exciting anymore. There's nothing fun about losing money for a few months in your new business, in fact, it's discouraging. Discovering all of your significant other's annoying quirks may make you reconsider building the relationship. Getting up at 5:00 am to go to the gym after you've been up late taking care of your sick child is difficult. Pushing through and maintaining enthusiasm about whatever it is will keep you on track.

You've made the first step. You got started. Some don't even make it that far because of fear. Congratulate yourself for making it over that hurdle. Now you find that you aren't as excited as you were in the beginning. You aren't as productive. You don't greet your customers with as much bravado as before. How do you keep up that excitement of the "new"?

Look around. Take an inventory of your life. Losing steam is the first step toward giving up. If you give up you will never realize your goals. Remember all the people cheering you on. Remember everyone who invested in you. Be it time, money, or simply encouragement. Can you handle disappointing them all if you chose not to succeed? Success is a choice we make everyday. It doesn't just happen. We choose it.

It's easy to stay excited when things are going well. The key to success is to stay excited when things are difficult. Things happen. There will be bad days at work. You will miss deadlines. Promotions will pass you by. You will have difficulties with customers. You will argue with your spouse. You will miss days at the gym. You will feel the guilt of cheating your diet. You will get rejected and face an obstacle or even failure. Know that failures are temporary only when you keep moving and continue to take action.

Maintaining enthusiasm about your project is the key to making your dreams come true. Take action everyday as if it is your first day. Keep visual reminders of what you are working toward. Keep a daily routine that promotes positive thoughts. Doing these things will allow you to stay excited about everything even when things get tough.

Be enthusiastic everyday. Don't let obstacles discourage you. Just continue. Keep visual reminders of what the results of your actions can yield to stay excited. Choose to excitement and you will stay excited.

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Why You Should Improve Your Emotional Intelligence Before A Job Search

In today’s volatile employment market it is difficult to land a job that we want, like and are good at doing. It is even more difficult to do that without honing all of our skills to perfection.

When job-hunting, most of us focus on our achievements, our brains, appearance, and personality. That is all good, but there is one thing that gets overlooked on a constant basis: emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is an important bit of the puzzle, something that employers are testing for extensively, even though it is a soft skill. Years ago, research showed that employees with average IQ will outperform employees with higher IQ.

It was a bit of a head-scratcher; you would assume, logically, that a smarter person would perform better at any given task.

The research proved otherwise and, ever since, emotional intelligence has been the tipping factor when it comes to deciding between two, otherwise, similar job applicants.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is something intangible within us all, something deeply rooted that helps us understand ourselves and understand others.

It is a set of skills that govern how we perceive ourselves, how we control our emotions, how we manage our time, but also how good are we at relating to other people, their experiences, and their emotions.

Some people are, unfortunately, emotionally stunted. They are not all that good at socializing, reading social cues, or showing empathy towards their fellow man.

This can be a detrimental factor if you are looking for a job. Luckily, your emotional intelligence is something you can work at and, with practice, you will get a lot better at managing yourself and other people as well.

3 Reasons to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Benefits of improving your emotional intelligence are numerous; it is a skill that when developed to a degree, will help you in both your personal and professional life. Before embarking on a long and trying process of job search, it is important to challenge ourselves and to see what we are actually after.

Boosting EI will help you in few categories that are crucial for job success. First of those things is self-awareness. Emotionally intelligent people have a clear-cut understanding of who they are and where they are headed.

They are able to be brutally honest towards themselves, evaluating their strengths and weaknesses with ease. This is an important competency to have when looking for employment.

Being honest towards yourself, understanding what you are suited for and can actually do, means that you are less prone to wasting your or the interviewers time.


1. Self-Awareness


Self-awareness is something that helps us recognize our feelings. It allows us to rule over them instead of letting them get the best of us.

Bursts of self-pity or anger, when displayed during an interview, do not get you on the top of the list of candidates. Self-awareness comes coupled with self-regulation. People who are composed and able to think before they act are also much better at reacting to change.


2. Motivation

Motivation is also influenced by emotional intelligence.

Although motivation is governed by many things, it is important to note that people with higher emotional intelligence are motivated mostly by immaterial things and they are willing to sacrifice short-term success for a long-term vision.

Building up you emotional intelligence will help you put things in perspective, so when you show up for an interview you will not be a deflated, old tire, but a motivated, highly productive individual that can contribute to the company in many ways.

Interviewers pick up on those things.

3. Empathy & Social Skills

Empathy and social skills are the most important weapons in the arsenal of emotional intelligence. Empathy in particular; it enables you to pick up signals from other people, to sense how they are feeling and to adjust your behavior accordingly.

This can be a very handy tool during an interviewing process; in fact, it is an important skill to have when going through life in general. Empathetic people are great listeners and are easy to confide in; they make for naturally born leaders.

They are open and appreciate the opinion of other people. In short, they are a kind of people every company wants to hire.


Summary

So if you are currently looking for employment, you’re smart and capable and have achieved great results in the past, but are unsure of where you stand with emotional intelligence, test yourself.

Take a deep look at all the things we mentioned above and assess how good you are at them.

If you think you are not very good at some of them, practice! The brain is a marvelous instrument and you can condition it to adapt and to change.

Use emotional intelligence strategies to help you achieve your goals; listen more attentively, curb your reactions, try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. It will make a better person and a better employee!

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3 D's of Productivity Success Values to Adopt Now

Our values drive our behavior. We also choose our values. Why not choose the best ones? Some values support our faith, others how we manage our money, still others how effective we are at achieving our dreams and goals. These I call Success Values. Let's look at which Success Values help us be more productive.

First, what does it mean to be productive? We generally think of productivity as being able to get more done in less time, also known as being efficient. Productivity is not necessarily about cramming more work into less time. What does it matter if we get more done if they're the wrong things?

Real productivity is about getting the right things done at the right time. These three Success Values will help you with maximizing real productivity in your life.

Discipline - This one is obvious. We have to be able to set priorities and do them when we're supposed to. Ultimate discipline is being able to force yourself to do what you don't want to do when you don't want to do it. On a more practical level, discipline means doing what you've planned to do or what must be done. Discipline is the key to all Success. It's what helps you get on track when you're off-track. It helps you create your plans and execute them.

Dedication - Dedication to your goals is next. Achieving your goals will be hard, presuming your goals are truly worthwhile. Easy goals don't need dedication and really aren't worth concentrating on either. Hard goals, that stretch us and make us become better than we were are the ones worth pursuing. Those are also the ones that sometimes make you want to quit. That's where dedication comes in. You have to be committed to the outcome you're after. You have to be willing to throw all of yourself into your goals when necessary.

Discernment - Discernment is how you know when it's necessary to throw all of yourself into your goals. Sometimes, we get too caught up in the pursuit of our goals that we lose sight of the bigger picture. Our lives get out of balance because we let too much attention get focused on one area of our lives. Being able to discern what's important is key to true success. Knowing when it's OK to be unbalanced in our focus is just as important knowing when it's not. Sometimes we have to spend our time in a single area temporarily. What's important is knowing when to stop.

These Success Values are, of course, not the only ones that apply to productivity. They are a really good foundation to build on though.

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7 Behaviors That Are Keeping You Stuck

If you are feeling really stuck in life, one thing to look at is what payoff, or secondary gain, you may be getting from staying in struggle, illness, lack of success, being in a job or relationship that you don't like, or not creating the love you desire. Payoffs are about hanging out in our comfort zone telling ourselves why we can't move forward in life. We become attached to the secondary gain out of misunderstanding, habit or fear. When you can identify the payoffs you are attached to, real change can begin to happen, both internally and then in your external environment. Please note that this isn't about blame. It's about growth and we all have opted for the payoff at one time or another.

So how do we understand what the payoff is and begin to change?

The first thing is to acknowledge that you are creating your reality and take responsibility for it. This is a Law of Attraction principle and is actually very empowering. It frees you from victim mentality.

Then, you must forgive yourself! Only through forgiveness can you release the problems. Everything is happening for our highest good and growth. These are all just experiences for us to aid our expansion into being more than we were. Now you are in a position to choose to create what you REALLY want! To assist you in this process, here are some payoffs that are commonly held. Sometimes you will have more than one payoff keeping you stuck.

See if you recognize yourself in any of these!


What do I get to avoid? Struggle can allow you to avoid responsibility, success, being vulnerable, love, being visible, or feeling your feelings.

Who do I get to punish or love? This can be very subtle. We punish by refusing to be happy or successful in order to prove that life is unfair, Mom and Dad were bad parents, or God let us down. Others didn't love you enough or were not good enough. We fail so someone will come to save us and apologize. The ego gets a sense of power by manipulating others in this way. The love aspect is when we don't succeed or be happy because we don't want to do better than our parents or others we care about because succeeding, especially succeeding easily, would demonstrate that all of their struggle and suffering was based on a flawed premise and we don't want them to feel bad.

Am I feeling righteous and dishonest emotions or real feelings? This happens when we try to act "spiritual" and "positive" rather than acknowledging our real feelings so we can release them. Instead, we hold on to the feelings and depress them. What often happens is that we end up complaining to everyone except the person involved who could actually do something about working through them with us. The other extreme is when someone exhibits what they consider to be "righteous anger," or exaggerated hurt or burden. It's basically a blame game and won't move you forward.

What guarantee am I holding out for? This is asking for a promise of the love, money, healing or success you want before you take action. No one can make that guarantee!

Am I manipulating with self-pity? The victim wants an audience to feel sorry for him/her. The martyr is the "silent sufferer". Martyrs expect everyone to know what is wrong and fix it. They secretly want everyone to save them and make their life work. Again, this really leaves you helpless! You are giving up your power.

Am I feeling better-than or less-than? If you feel better than others, or less than others, you are feeling entitled. You feel that you deserve special treatment. This is another subtle one, especially the "less-than" feeling.

What am I afraid of losing if I succeed? You fear you might lose friends, attention, excuses, invisibility, or the safety of mediocrity.



Some of these payoffs can be really hard to look at and acknowledge. Remember the step of self forgiveness and love yourself enough to take the bold step of facing your payoff. Once you realize what is holding you back you can let it move through you and replace it with the excitement of your vision for what you really do want. You step out of victim-hood and into your power. The rewards of doing so will be great!





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How To Boost Your Self-Image Fast

How To Boost Your Self-Image Fast

In his bestselling book <The Psycho-Cybernetics>, Maxwell Maltz once said that, "The self-image is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior."


When you develop a positive self-image, your confidence will soar and so as your ability to handle new situations.

The best thing is that the world tends to accept the self-image you place on yourself.

When you have a strong, positive, self-believing self-image, others are going to accept that frame of mind and behave differently for you.

The first step to increasing your self-image is to know yourself.

Know thyself, Socrates intelligently said.

Not only do you need to understand your current skill levels, strengths and abilities, you also want to determine your weaknesses, disadvantages, trigger points so you can improve upon.

Never beat yourself up for discovering the ugly side of yourself. Flaws can always be turned into gifts if you work on them long enough.

Also, determine what parts about you are most crucial and urgent to change and focus all your energy on those areas.

There probably are aspects you don't concern that much and won't have significant effect on your self-image. Ignore those.

You want to concentrate all your power to change those with most leverage and impact.

And frankly, sometimes you should just accept those insignificant parts of your personality and move on to greater things.

Change is a constant. Success is change.

If you don't feel good about the current version of yourself, you must be willing to overcome the inertia of staying in the status quo and step up to take the tough challenges of changing your identity.

It's NOT going to be easy I guarantee. Our brain will do everything to sabotage your intention to change because of homeostasis. It always wants to make things as stable as possible.

But you do want to boost your self-image right? Then you must commit to taking consistent small imperfect actions to slowly shift your set point. It totally worth it.

One of the fastest ways to boost your self-image is to upgrade your style.

Yes, I am talking about upgrading how you look, how you dress and how you present yourself even BEFORE you speak and meet any people.

Upgrading your looks and outfits is a huge challenge to most of us because we are not used to seeing our sexy, handsome, beautiful selves.

So if you can afford an image consultant, hire them and let them design a better style for you.

Want to know the secrets why most celebrities are so confident?

It's because those image consultants are trained to make people look good, feel good and develop massive self-love and confidence.

It's an uncomfortable process when you dress differently, but it's the fastest way to embrace a new identity and boost your self-esteem.

Remember that elevating your self-image is a process of change.

Stop living your life based on what others believe, like or think.

Stop comparing your back stage with successful people's front stage.

Stop pleasing others and sacrificing your own happiness.

You are the only person who knows what's best for you.

It's up to you to uplift your self-image and raise the standards of the game you're playing at.

When you change, everything changes. When you improve, every aspect of your life will improve.

I look forward to a newer, better, greater version of you soon.





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10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?

Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?

Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.

In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.

Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.

10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:

1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist

If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.

You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.

2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.

In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.

3. You Are Self-Motivated

Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.

You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.

4. You Care About Others

People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.

That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.

You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarize their statements and questions to show that you understand.

5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

If you have high emotional intelligence, you realize that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.

You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.

You recognize that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.

6. You’re Not Easily Distracted

You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.

You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognize the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.

You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.

7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance

No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognize the importance of making time for a social life.

You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.

You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.

You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.

8. You Know When to Say ‘No’

You have a lot of self-discipline.

Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognize that you can’t do everything.

You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”

Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.

9. You Don’t Fear Change

You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognize that it leads to better things.

10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions

You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.

You know that anger needs to be properly channeled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.

You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.

If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.

Summary

How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!

You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.

Simple things such as journaling about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.

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