If You're Afraid of Failure, You Need to Read This

Why are we so afraid of failure? I mean, I know I've held myself back on account of fear more times than I'd like to admit. But what am I so afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen if I step out and try something? Take a risk? Begin an adventure?

I don't really like fear. The very first poem I wrote was when I was 13. I wrote it, submitted to the local newspaper in hopes of getting it published, and lo and behold, it was. The poem was titled "What is Fear?" I cannot remember the words, but I generally feared a lot of things back then- even failure.

Fear stifles. It cripples and paralyzes.

But the truth is that "failure" is a noun and it's subjective. When I realized this, I began to see things differently. Why can Mike, the average guy down the street, jump the hurdles of so-called "failure", continuing on with great faith and joy in his endeavors? While Jim, the Harvard grad, sit and cry his eyes out when his business only lasts one year, resolving never to try that again?

Did both fail? Well, yes, if we're defining failure in terms of "things not going as planned". But how can one guy be cool with it, dust himself off, and get back up and try again and the other guy can't?

They view failure differently. We want to look at things when they don't go as planned as "learning opportunities".

Listen, if you get this, it will change your life.

Do you know that the writer, Agatha Christie, received 500 rejections in her life trying to get books published? She could have sunk her head in shame, feeling like a failure, but she didn't. She determined to NOT let a rejection (or hurdles in general) keep her down. She learned from her setbacks and kept her hand to the plow. You know what? She sold a freakin' lot of books!

We see the successful people. Or the happy people. Or the peaceful people. We want what they have, but are we willing to keep the momentum moving forward even when trials come? Even when failures come? Even when all your buddies are laughing at you, mocking you for pursuing your passion?

You're not a failure. There's no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. Whether it takes you one year to hit your mark or five years, it's alright! Just keep on getting up and doing what you know to do in order to get what you want. If you don't know what to do, ask for some help! There's someone who has done what you want to do. There's probably a lot of people! Get on the phone and reach out. Send an email- whatever you have to do to get the low down.

We're in this together. Life, I mean.

What do you want? Have you given up on account of a perceived failure?

Commit with me to take the word "failure" out of our vocabulary!

Let's create a good life, enjoying the journey all along the way.

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Deep Diving Out Of Procrastination

Procrastination - we're all guilty of this. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. So just why do we procrastinate at times? Recent research has revealed that we put off things that we don't like to do. In psychobabble - task averse

When we have tasks to do that we consider unpleasant, unenjoyable, boring, frustrating, difficult or that we resent we are more likely to put these off and avoid them if possible.

This just seems to be common sense and logic so far. What else has the research uncovered? Come on Frank, get to the good stuff!

Okay, you've twisted my arm. The other thing that is important to note from the research is that the way we look at these tasks change over the life of the task. Early on, the more meaningful and purposeful the task is to what we imagine in our lives, the higher we rate that task as enjoyable. Later in the life of that same task what might make them aversive is not having them defined properly.

So, based on the above we might find ourselves needing to have different strategies to finish off the tasks that we have given ourselves!

In very plain English, imagine you have decided that you are going to lose 10Kgs by going to the gym. In the early stages, motivation is quite simple because you still have the main goal in focus. Come day 3 of getting up early for the gym... different story!

What's in it for me?

Simple. We can take this knowledge and apply it accordingly. If you need to get yourself motivated early on in a project, task or goal - make it more meaningful to your overall life goals. This should give you the kick-start that you need at that point in time.

When you find yourself beginning to look at the tasks in front of you with dread later in the project, perhaps remind yourself of what that small piece actually means to you as part of the bigger picture. Secondly, at this part of the journey - make sure that the tasks are clearly defined and structured so that there are no gray areas or uncertainty. Break down any complex task into more easily managed ones.

One Final Thought

Perception is reality.

Thinking that tasks are boring will make them boring.

Thinking that tasks are going to be hard will make them hard.

If you can change the way you look at the tasks in front of you, you will actually change your own behavior.

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Setting Personal Boundaries

A personal space is a space where you hide your own weaknesses, strengths, pain, past, fear, etc. and a boundary is your personal space where you decide, who you want to be, what company you want to be in, what are your motives in life and who are important to you. When you set priorities for each and every person in your life it is the time when you set your personal boundaries. These boundaries show the limits regarding how others can treat or behave around you. Setting boundaries will ensure your protection against emotional and mental exploitation. Healthy boundaries are those that are impartial and reasonable and suitable for one's age and maturity. You can say yes or no without guilt, feel angry or fearful. You can refuse to tolerate abuse or disrespect. Thus, make yourself a unique personality.

Some signs of unhealthy boundaries

1. Talking to someone unknown at an intimate level. 

2. Letting others control your life. 

3. Unreasonably, intentionally hurting someone. 

4. Tolerating false and vulgar remarks. 

5. Letting others set boundaries for you. 

6. Doing something against your family morals, personal values and rights. 

7. Letting others take undue advantage of you. 

8. Tolerating mockery made out of you constantly. 

9. Passing comments without knowing the person's situation and his/her hardships. 

10. Violating other's boundaries.

Tips for setting boundaries

For setting healthy boundaries we need to keep certain things in mind. Due to fear of rejection and loneliness, you hesitate in expressing your feelings and desires. And in order to avoid the conflict and the feeling that you owe them for some reason, you constantly tolerate the disrespectful behavior, hence resulting in becoming a doormat. This happens when you are unable to set your personal boundaries. So, stop being doormat because you are responsible for how you allow others to treat you.

Learn to say No and Stop pleasing others at your own cost. When it comes to your self-respect and dignity then you must not ignore your personal needs, profits and unnecessarily agree to do those things that can harm your well-being.

Using various strategies to set healthy boundaries:

There are some appropriate ways to assert boundaries and you have to follow them one by one according to hardness of the situation.

1. Informing: Firstly we need to calmly make them realize that the way they are behaving is not appropriate. 

2. Requesting: After informing we can request them to lower their voice and try to cool them down. 

3. Instructing: In case the person completely ignores our request, then we must instruct him/her to bring appropriate changes in their behavior. 

4. Warning and demanding: Even after instructing if there is no change in his/her behavior and conduct towards us, then firstly we need to warn them and then command them to change their conduct. 

5. Lastly if there is still no sign of change in behavior then leave the place to avoid further conflict.

Be tactful in some situation, as they are worth letting go, because sometimes your actions can get you into dangerous situation, which are quite difficult to handle. For example while walking down the road, someone whistles or stares you; if you are alone, then it is better to ignore it.

As it is rightly said that if you want respect then you must give respect so, respect other's boundaries, if you want others to respect your boundaries. Respecting other's boundary can help you in becoming more mature, responsible and understanding. Hence

"Discipline yourself to do what is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction."- Brain Tracy.

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Overcoming Envy: What Envy Teaches You

Envy gets a bad rap. The ancient Greek philosopher Antisthenes described it as corrosive ("As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.") Envy is established as one of the seven deadly sins - hardly a list of traits that we celebrate.

Yet we all feel it. Envy is part of the human experience. Instead of judging envy as wrong or bad, is there something we can do with it?

Envy begins with social comparison. Social comparison is a psychological process where we try to determine our own personal worth by comparing ourselves to others. So often, the result is we see ourselves as not measuring up.

Research shows that this process of comparison happens continually and automatically, underneath our awareness. And it sets us up for an inevitable deflation of confidence and self-esteem, what I call "compare and despair".

What we may not recognize is how shame is at the root of this despair. Shame is a deeply felt sense that we are defective, inadequate or not good enough. Shame is fuel for envy. When we look at somebody else and feel envy, it's not just that someone has acquired or achieved something, but that we believe we are unable to acquire or achieve something like it.

Well, that stinks.

But, wait. What if there is a positive side to envy?

Because, when we are in despair, we are missing something important: envy is information. Envy is giving you clues about what you desire. Look at your envy to start following the clues. Ask yourself:

Who do I envy?

What is it about them that generates envy?Since social comparison happens so quickly, envy can be vague, like a cloud around the person to whom you are comparing yourself. You feel it but you may not know why.

When you identify the source, envy becomes specific. You can examine it more closely.

Now this is where it gets really good, because envy gives you the opportunity to challenge the assumptions that underlie it.

Consider the source of your envy. Ask yourself:

Is it something I really want?

Do I think I can have it? Or can I attain something similar or create a similar feeling for myself?Let's say, for example, that you envy your neighbors who own a boat. They take their boat out on the water every weekend and it pains you each time they head out on Saturday morning.

Is it the boat you really want (with all of its associated responsibilities like dock fees and storage, maintenance and repairs, insurance and fuel, equipment and supplies)?

Or is it a sense of freedom? wealth? escape? (or something else?) that the boat represents for you?

There is no right or wrong answer - it's about understanding what you really want. Because when you know what you want you can begin to deliberately bring it into your life.

This is how you transform envy, by utilizing it as a tool to help you understand:

What you really want, what you value, what success looks like for you

How you can generate that for yourselfWhen you are clear about what's most important and what it looks like in your life, you can start building it for yourself.

What other people have and do becomes so much less significant. Comparisons won't matter. And you'll be happier when you are focused on your life, rather than on the lives of others.

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Why Making Others Happy Can Make You Happy

When people feel happy, they experience positive feelings which they attribute as being something good.

But when people make someone other than themselves happy, it amplifies those positive feelings even bigger, more and further.

That's why people feel great about themselves and are inherently fulfilled when they know they have made a positive difference to someone's lives.

In fact, if you are ever feeling down yourself, one way to bring yourself up is to find ways to make others happy. This will give you an emotional boost you need.

When you strive to make others happy, they notice. They will have a boost in their mood which you will see that reaction in their face immediately. Sometimes, this random act of kindness may somehow return to you immediately or sometime in the future.

The great part about making others happy is it is relatively easy to do.

It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment. Or it can be volunteering to help out your colleague whose workload is overextended. Sometimes, simply expressing your appreciation to someone can uplift their spirits no matter how small the task that you are thanking them for is.

One really easy way to make people happy is to smile.

Smiling is a warm and friendly act that most people will respond to positively by smiling back. A smile is a form of welcoming and shows that you are opening yourself up to those people. It gives people an invitation to approach you.

Another way to make someone happy is to actively listen to them. You would be amazed at how effective this is.

Most people aren't good listeners because they tend to wait for the silent moment so that they themselves can talk and express their opinions. However, if you can stand out from the crowd and be a fantastic listener, they will fall in love with spending time with you as hanging out with you makes them feel happy.

If you want to go a step further in making others happy, try to learn more deeply about the people whom you want to make happy.

Be curious and interested in what they do. Then, if you see something related to their interests, either bring it to their attention or relate to them with your experience about that thing so that both of you are connecting in an emotional expressive level.

Of course, you should never use these skills to manipulate, trick or deceive people in order to make them happy. This type of malicious intention will be caught (especially by the intuitive sociable people) and hurt you and your reputation very quickly.

People will appreciate you much more and will respond positively to your efforts to make them happy instead of trying to get something out of it for yourself. And when you do it in a value-giving, non-needy, generous way, they will more likely to reciprocate and do awesome things for you to make you happy.

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5 Ways to Recover From Terrible Failure

Failure can cause one to lose confidence and motivation. Failure can sometimes wreck havoc on our emotions and make us feel depressed. What is worse is that after failing most of us do not always wish to try again because of the negative emotions that we feel. Failure makes us avoid trying again. This can happen on a conscious and unconscious level. It is thus important that you manage what you perceive as failure well in your life to ensure that failure doesn't affect you on an unconscious level and affect your future performance as you try and achieve your goals. Some of the emotions that we experience that affect our ability to take action to create the outcomes that we seek are due to past failures. These emotions may include fear, self-doubt and a lack of confidence.

I have developed a few ways that you can use in your life to recover from failure and heal yourself so that your past failures do not affect your future performance. Here they are:

1. Manage emotions using acceptance

What we perceive as failure can cause us to have a lot of emotional strain. We may experience emotions ranging from anger to sadness and resentment depending on what the situation is. After failing it is not always possible to keep these emotions from affecting us. To recover from failure and keep these emotions under control you need to use acceptance. You need to accept that things did not go well and that there might be consequences to be dealt with from whatever that has happened. Depending on the situation, consequences as the result of failure might vary -; you might be criticised, you might be held accountable, you might have lost money, you might lose your self-confidence, you might lose your job or business. Whatever it is and whatever the consequences are, drive yourself towards acceptance because this is the only way in which you will better find creative solutions to the challenges that you might be facing. It is tempting when we face challenges to dwell on the emotional pain, to think and go over what ifs but ultimately we have no choice but to make decisions and act if we are to change our circumstances.

2. View failure as an isolated incident not an inclusive incident

In our lives sometimes we have what I call "cross contamination". When one area of our lives isn't working as well we wish it could, the unhappiness and emotional strain that we experience from the area which isn't working well gets carried across other areas of our lives. We begin to feel like nothing else in our lives is working. Cross contamination causes us to carry emotional strain from work or business to our family lives and ultimately to our health and well being. The opposite can happen as emotional strain from our family lives can sometimes extend to our workplace and ultimately our well being depending on how we respond to the problems that we face.

You need to view the specific failure that you are recovering from as an isolated incident in order to stop this from straining other areas in your life. This is not easy to do as sometimes having a bad day at work can mean a bad evening with the family or vice versa. However, if you learn to better manage your emotions and isolate problems in various areas of your life, you might be in a better position to prevent emotional strain from one area of your life to cross contaminate all other areas of your life. This can only be done through improved self-awareness and emotional discipline.

Sometimes failing in a specific area can make you feel as if you failing at everything. You need to be aware that failure in a specific area in your life doesn't mean that you will fail on every other area. So see each failure as specific and not inclusive.

3. View failure as feedback from your specific actions

After following step 1 and 2 above you should begin to be in a better emotional state to think constructively about what went wrong and what has not worked well to cause the outcomes that you did not want. With this improved emotional state you should now use failure as a learning by analyzing what really went wrong and what actions you could have taken to improve your results. Most failures are due to a lack of planning, processes that did not work well, unforeseen circumstances, failure to be pro-active and so on. This is now time for you to diagnose what didn't work with clear emotions and an open mind. So assess what went wrong and identify things that need to be improved for you to create better results in the future.

4. Commit to new actions

After diagnosing your failure and receiving feedback from it you need to commit yourself to new actions in order to fully recover from your failure. Ask yourself what you will do and no longer do as a result of the feedback you received from your failure then commit yourself to new resolutions. You can list things you will do such as early planning, better communication, improve processes etc. Listing things that you will no longer do that might have caused you to fail is as important. So also list things that you will not do in the future such as procrastinating, avoiding administrative work, communicating poorly and so on.

What is important to note is that committing to new actions will also give you an emotional boost and hope. Often when we are in distress just thinking of the next practical step to take is enough to help us have hope for better future results.

5. Remember your past successes

Remembering things you did well in the past can help you gather strength to recover from immediate failure. Have things worked well in the past? Is there historical performance that you can look to and be proud of? if so, list these great achievements and performances and make them more prominent in your mind. Remember how you felt when things worked well and rekindle these feelings to gather strength to overcome present challenges. This will help you regain your self-confidence as you plan how to better deal with the future.

Imagine what your life would be like if you had self-confidence and did not hesitate to act and create all the outcomes that you want in life. Picture yourself believing in yourself and becoming exactly who you want to be. A successful man or woman who is happy doing things that he or she loves and has great relationships. No more would you have to suffer from second guessing yourself and taking the back seat, criticizing yourself or enduring the pain of those that criticize you and do not appreciate you...

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Monsters and Molehills

'Molehills in life are bumps in the road; they become monsters when we accept them as powerful truth, allowing them to become monsters chasing us through life. Molehills like the teacher who could not find anything redeeming in the student and carelessly flung demeaning insults, leaving behind a child who believed every word they said and became what they believed. The molehill became a monster that chased the child relentlessly through life, one failure after another.

Molehills are the path of destruction left after something uninvited digs its way through our sub conscious mind leaving a tunnel of doubt and a path of fear that somewhere in that dark tunnel lies the truth about who we will become. What we believe may be the most important block in our foundation. Even the greatest of blessings cannot be delivered if we cannot believe; we must believe to receive. Harboring the fear that we do not deserve or cannot achieve something that is important to us will ensure that we cannot.

Damage that begins in childhood plants deeper roots in our subconscious; it has a long time to grow and dig in. A child is born believing in goodness, it simply knows no other way. Trust has brought the child to this new beginning with a fragile defense system in place. In the absence of steady and positive reinforcement of encouraging truth and what can be, it is far easier for a child to believe what they see and hear, to begin to grow from those ideas. Sadly this is frequently the beginning of a long and difficult road filled with doubt, self-recriminations and fear of rejection that keeps the best in life at bay. The good things were never unattainable; they just became a mirage that could not be touched.

Sometimes there is no one to provide the kind of direction and reinforcement we need to escape from the monsters. How can we defeat something we believe is more powerful than us? Only by standing still and objectively looking at the monster, without any emotion. Emotion colors what we see and creates a binding force that ties us to the monster. Pain creates trauma; trauma is one of the strongest emotional bonds. It is necessary to tear the wound back open and stop pretending that we don't really care about things that matter a lot.

This leaves us vulnerable; vulnerable to the same pain, the same wrong ideas and yes, vulnerable to receiving the best that we can believe in. It is this that makes it worth the effort of tearing it open and re-examining without emotion what really happened. When we can do this, we can believe in ourselves and the best that life can provide for us, leaving the monster powerless. Like a shape-shifter it fades back into the molehill it always was, just a bump in the road. This is all that is necessary to be free to receive the best we can believe in.

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How Do We Know If We Can Trust Someone?

Many of us trust too easily only to discover that we were betrayed. Others of us don't trust at all. Trusting too quickly, or not trusting at all, usually says more about us than about the other person. Trust is not something that we want to automatically do when we meet someone. We also don't want to automatically mistrust someone either. Some of us experience an involuntary response to trust, or not to trust, and neither one of these extremes serve us well.

Trust is something that takes time. It's a process.

Trust is a process

When I say, trust is a process, it means that it takes time to get to know someone. If we enter a relationship at a slow and steady pace, we will discover more about who the other person's true self. We can then determine whether they can be trusted with our feelings, and our shared personal information, because our trust is the greatest gift we can give someone.

Finding the Balance

Some of us were betrayed early in life, and we don't trust easily because of that. Others so desperately want to be in a relationship, or a friendship, that we rush to trust someone to make that happen. We don't give ourselves the opportunity, and time, to get to know that person to determine if they are trustworthy, or not.

In adulthood, often not being able to trust a friend, or a potential romantic partner, may be because we have been betrayed in our childhood, adolescence, or at some time as an adult. The person desiring our trust may very well be trustworthy, however we may not be able to recognize this due to our history.

Our Past Relationships Reflected in The Present

One of the first big tasks of our lives is establishing trust versus mistrust. As a child, we develop a sense that our needs will be met, versus a sense that they won't. Our view of the world is often determined by how secure we feel that we can rely on others for our expectations to be met. If we have had good, consistent relationships in the past, we may assume as much from our current and future relationships, and trust too easily based upon this experience.

If our parents, or our experiences in past relationships, were inconsistent in meeting our needs, we may fear current and future relationships will respond the same way. We make ourselves vulnerable when we trust. Withholding our trust may be used as self-preservation to protect us from being hurt again. How can I trust myself from past mistakes?

It's Not You, It's Me

Sometimes it is challenging to differentiate to determine if we are not feeling trustworthy of someone else. Is it about them? Or is it about our own history? So many times, I have heard during psychotherapy sessions that, "My friend is talking about other people and I'm uncomfortable. I don't know if I ought to trust them or not."

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Overthinking Will Cause You to Think It Over

When was the last time you did something without actually spending a second to contemplate if it's the right thing to do? If you find it quite hard to make a decision even in the simplest things like deciding what to eat for breakfast, you may be a victim of what we call "overthinking".

A typical rational human being has a gift of reason which allows him to know the difference between good or bad. Sometimes, "reason" obliges us to think too much which causes us to be anxious in every decision we make. Finding hidden meaning in mere situations that does not require your investigative prowess worries your mind that you tend to become conscious in everything you do, constraining you from doing what you want. Overthinkers weigh each single option before they can make a move. They tend to ignore the bigger picture which causes them to panic under pressure even when they already know that they are good at it.

Growing up, we are filled with so much learning that we acquire so much knowledge which is good - to a certain extent.

When you are not in the mood, you have the tendency to be anxious and get depressed. This will eventually trigger your mind to outpour thoughts. Sometimes, these thoughts are not even connected to the main reason why you are having a bad mood. When you start thinking too much, your normal functions are affected.

Stop seeing what is beyond the surface if there is no need to. Before you dig deeper, you must have a clear view of what is in front of you. If you continue to give weight to those that are unnecessary, you will fail to see the truth of everything.

When you start thinking about something in an endless cycle, ask yourself: 

Will this still matter in the long run?

Asking yourself this simple question every time you overthink can snap you out immediately. You will then be able to focus your time on something that really matters. Learn to set a time-limit for every decision you make so that you can immediately act on it. Be better in making decisions by setting "deadlines" in your life in order to prevent you from procrastinating and encourage you to not take things for granted.

Most of us wish we could control everything that is happening. If this was only possible, we could've avoided making a mistake and things would've been perfect. But failures are a part of life and this is the only time where we can learn a lesson and become a better person. Everyone who is successful made mistakes before they reach their status quo.

Stop thinking over and over and over... it will just be an endless cycle and none of it matters! You can't control everything. Accept the fact there are just things that are beyond what you can handle.

There is no need to dwell on things that don't matter. Focus on what's important like making those people close to you smile. 

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7 Overlooked Tips to Help You Become More Expressive

We are in an era where we seem so busy and drained to technology such that it is easy to forget the simple things that make life interesting.

Life is the best thing we could ever ask for and it is worth spending the best moments doing pleasant things with people we love. Sometimes it is good to restore this simplicity in our lives.


7 Tips to Help You Become More Expressive & Open

In the end, the important thing is to be happy and proud of who we are and what we do. With this in mind, here are some tips, not only to make your life easy and happier, but to help you become more expressive and open.


1. Open up about how you feel

Are you one of those people who hide their emotions when wronged?

Or, you keep everything inside?

Sometimes we cannot avoid being angry. But, some of us keep and hide the anger inside. When someone does something that irritates you, do you get the courage to tell them, or do you keep it?

If you find yourself doing this, then you need to start making changes as it can cause huge stress in your life. The whole feeling leaves you disappointed and unhappy.

Finally, these emotions pile up and come out all at once. It’s not healthy.

Instead find ways to release these emotions effectively. Go to a friend and open up about everything. In the long-run, this will help you remain happy and grow healthier.

2. Stop battling with issues you cannot change/control
The best lesson I have learned in life is to accept whatever comes and let go what I cannot control. If you suddenly land into problems and you have no control over the situation, stop blaming yourself for it. Just move on and accept that your day was off the rails and there is nothing you could do about it.

If there is drama in your life, you can choose to walk away. Most of us find it difficult to make the move, but there is saying that;


“10% IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, 90% IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT.”

Stop thinking about the issues you cannot change, just let them be.

3. Do some things with yourself and leave the rest to others

Remind yourself that you cannot do everything. Do what you can and leave the rest to others. Maybe you are a business owner and as usual, there are so many tasks to be done to make it grow.

If you are good at management do it perfectly. Assign qualified people to do marketing, public relations and more. This way you will not overwork yourself and it’s a good way to remain active both physiologically and psychologically.


4. Maintain open communication

Have you ever asked yourself what the people you love think when you do something? Maybe you thought they enjoyed watching a certain movie or going to a restaurant because you like it when, in fact, this was not the case.

Guessing what people think without asking them can create a lot of problems. But initiating communication and asking your spouse or loved one what they like, you avoid miscommunication down the line. This is a good way to maintain a happier relationship.


5. Try something new today

Are you scared to try something new?

Or do you find it hard to make decisions especially when you are in a compromising situation?

There is a saying that;


“IT’S BETTER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN TO ASK FOR PERMISSION.”

In simple words, it’s better to act first and apologize later than to seek approval to act and delay in making an urgent move.

If you have something that needs to be done, do it. As long as you are confident and happy, make the move and don’t hesitate. Trying something makes you a lot happier than failing to try.

If it doesn’t work, that’s fine, at least you learned something. Move on to the next and keep doing that.


6. Live in the present

Have you ever heard the saying, “Live life like there is no tomorrow?” The more you live in the present, the happier your life becomes.

Lao Tzu said:


“IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PAST. IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU ARE AT PEACE, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE MOMENT.”

Live your life and be thankful for the little things you have. Happiness comes from within and we have to enjoy every moment.

7. Do not be afraid to ask for help

Asking for help is a simple action that seems hard to most people. People would rather struggle doing the wrong thing than ask for help. It takes a lot of courage to accept that you can do something on your own.

It creates a strange feeling of being afraid and vulnerable, and many people do not want to go down that road. One of the things that makes us not seek help is pride. Believe me, I have been there. I thought asking for help would show that I was weak.

No one wants to be seen as weak and most people choose to struggle on their own. Everything is fine in the first place until anxiety sets in. You start to worry about people seeing through you and see yourself as incapable.

But, this should not be the case. Loosen up and don’t be afraid to ask for help whenever you get stuck. You will find that you learn more and live happier.

Summary

No one knows exactly how the future will turn out, but the important thing is living simple and happier. My wish is that you will use these tips to focus on your living the best way possible and take control of your own life.

If you agree with me, you are on the right track to living a brighter and happier future.

Make it count!

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Strengthening Your Belief in Yourself

It may sound strange, but the one person you'll always have in your life is you. In order to have an existence that's peaceful yet exciting and fulfilling, it's important to believe in yourself.

When you believe in yourself, you know that you have the ability to handle anything that life throws your way. You recognize that¸ although things may be tough, you'll get through it.

If that voice deep inside you says, "But what if I'm not sure that I can handle something," you could probably benefit from boosting your self-confidence and recognizing more of your abilities.

These strategies can bolster that belief:

1. Know yourself. Who are you? How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you? Write down a description of you. "[Your name] is a person who_____________." Keep writing what you know about yourself. When you're finished, read it. Does it give the reader a clear idea of who you are?

2. Develop a real understanding for how you react in certain situations. For example, if someone tells you he's angry about something you did, how do you respond? When people ask for help, what do you do? Noticing the behaviors you perform whenever challenging situations occur will help you see your capabilities.

3. Be comfortable with your own feelings. Recognize what you're feeling and label it-is it sadness you feel when you see your little girls growing up? Or is it pride? It's okay to shed a tear over a poignant commercial or a sad or touching movie.

4. Recognize your strong points. Although most of us can identify our weak areas right off the bat, it's sometimes a challenge to see our strong points. Recognizing the areas of life in which you do really well is a great confidence-booster.

5. Remind yourself you've made it through some challenging episodes in life. When you see what you've risen above, it helps you to realize that you can get through the tough times. You can probably easily recount all the difficult phases you've gone through in life. Yet here you are, surviving and maybe even thriving.

• Be inspired by the initiative, personal strength, and courage you've shown so far in life. Say to yourself: "If I did that, then I can achieve even more."

• For example, maybe you made your way through college or even graduate school while working full-time and taking care of a family. That's quite a feat. It must have been a challenging time for you. Yet somehow, you did it. That's pretty incredible. Acknowledge it.

6. Get comfortable with admitting you made a mistake. This suggestion just might be the most important one on the list. If you can't admit to yourself and others on a regular basis that you've made a mistake, the fact is that you'll have difficulty believing in yourself. Why? Because in order to believe in yourself, you must be real with yourself and others.

• Otherwise, you'll see that you're not even honest with yourself and your confidence will lag. It's okay to be wrong. Let's face it-most of us are wrong at least once a day. The easiest way to solve an issue or figure out a conundrum is to acknowledge, "I did something wrong."

• If you recognize and acknowledge your errors, you're very wise because you obviously know you can't correct a mistake unless you see the mistake in the first place. If you're not already doing it, start openly and honestly acknowledging errors. That way, you can fix them.

• These actions will also help you believe in your ability to handle anything.

If you believe in yourself, your life will be so much easier. Believing in yourself brings a certain quiet confidence. 

Thoughtfully consider the above points and strengthen your resolve to believe in the one person you'll always have: you.

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Self Improvement and Living in the Present Moment

Having clear goals and desires for our future, and planning for their fulfillment are vital steps if we are serious about self improvement and achievement.

Delayed gratification is something that is practiced by many successful people, even if they aren't aware of it. In simple terms, delayed gratification means making sacrifices now in order to achieve greater rewards in the future.

Most successful people become successful because they take actions and make sacrifices that less successful people are not prepared to do or make. However, in order to live a well rounded life and enjoy a rewarding lifestyle, we also need to be able to make the most of where we are at any given time.

Most of us have on ongoing internal dialogue within our minds, even if we aren't aware of it. We rehash events that have happened to us in the past and replay them in our minds, both good and bad. We also visualise events that we expect to happen to us in the future, both good and bad. When we're at work we spend time thinking about our domestic lives, and when we're at home we think about our problems at work. If we're not careful our days can slip by without us really noticing.

This can happen so easily, that we sometimes need to make a concerted effort to enjoy each present moment - or run the risk of depriving ourselves of a lot of pleasure. Planning for the future is essential, and we can all learn from the past. However, savoring the present moment and enjoying the simple pleasures, like a beautiful sunset, or the joy of a laughing child, or a walk on a deserted beach with a loved one, can make our lives infinitely richer.

Self Improvement Quote of the Day:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha

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Why Reinvent Yourself?

What does reinvent yourself mean, and why would you do it? First of all, you are here now, already invented. Who are you, and what are you all about? You must answer this question before you can begin to take charge of your life, plan, and implement your plan to take your life in a different direction. Also, by spending time to define and understand your life as it is, you can think about how it turned out that way.

For some folks, the reinvention is to find a new job. Others want a change of scenery. They choose to live somewhere else. It is heartbreaking for everyone involved, but some decide to leave their family to start over, and in rarer instances, they leave their name, their heritage, and even their beliefs behind in order to start with a blank sheet of paper. Of course, none of these actions guarantee a rise in your happiness. Things will be different. Perhaps, it is better to test drive before you make a drastic change in your life.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Just because you thought of it, does not make that a good idea." Perhaps you need the counsel of a wise person who is a trusted friend. Wise means level-headed, experienced, and someone who must be convinced. It does you no good to take a thought to a friend who always agrees with everything that you want to do. Also, should you confide in social media freak, that person may broadcast your thought widely, which could compel you to reinvent before you were ready to make that decision.

There is another side to this. Do you have family responsibilities, moral obligations, or will people suffer because you choose to abandon them? Many people look back on the tragedies in their lives in order to self-analyze how they handled them. The ones who say that they did the best they could to "right the ship," can justifiably take pride as they identify themselves to be among the heart and soul of humanity. But, if you decide to reinvent, to walk away from everyone and everything important in your life, then you will have to be satisfied with your "it's all about me above everything else" decision. If no one else could count on you, then why does anyone anywhere need you around? That is harsh, but this is why you should be careful, consult with a trusted friend, and plan your reinvention to be least hurtful to others. Guilt is a poor substitute for unhappiness.

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Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Sometimes we have to do things that make us feel uncomfortable so that we can grow. As individuals we often stay in our "safe places" because we don't want to stretch ourselves to think bigger and do bigger. So we just stay in a place of comfort, even though that place of comfort is no longer bringing us life satisfaction. But to grow and go to the next level you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That means you have to become comfortable with change.

Transformation can seem scary, but if you want to experience something different in your life then it is going to take you doing something different. When we are divinely being led to do things often they seem bigger than us, and that makes us hesitant to pursue those goals and dreams. But it is important to remember that God will never lead you to do anything that is too big for you to conquer.

Moving forward with faith makes all of the difference. When you stretch your faith it can give you the confidence to move forward in a powerful way. Faith can also minimize any fear or uncomfortable feelings. Faith might not get rid of them all, but faith can surely make you feel less uncomfortable.

Many of us can look back and see that there were times when we were extremely uncomfortable with change because of the unknown. But in the end many times we were glad that we decided to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Sometimes things in our lives will only change with change.

Plan your next steps of action carefully and don't be afraid to get out of the box, don't just think out of the box, but get out of the box and just go for it. That doesn't mean that you do things that will cause you financial hardship, but what it does mean is that you begin to start expecting more out of your life. Life is too short not too.








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What It Means To Be Truly Self - CONFIDENT?

How often have you heard someone tell you how important it is to proceed with a truly positive attitude, and to believe in oneself in a significant manner? One can never pursue or achieve anywhere near his optimal potential until, and unless, he focuses on his inner self. While that may sound somewhat obvious, we rarely observe individuals who proceed in a focused, meaningful manner, that maximizes their abilities to do better and achieve more significantly. It's easier for each of us to use the right rhetoric or words, than to perform with the type of quality self - talk that is significant and meaningful. Therefore, each of us should examine, what it means to be truly self - CONFIDENT, and realize how important that it.

1. This process requires being conscience - directed, proceeded through our life with absolute clarity that maximizes our potential to champion causes that we feel most important and/ or significant. This must not be merely a casual approach, but rather a true commitment.

2. Know your options, as well as the positive and negative possible ramifications of each. Examine them and determine for yourself what is important enough to be willing to step outside your personal limitations or comfort zone. You need to have the will to express your opinionswhen they are well thought out and considered, and are significant to you.

3. Never say it's not possible! Only pursuing the best in a positive can - do manner will drive the most desirable results and performances.

4. If you truly feel that you're right, you will always find a way. Focus on maximizing your commitment to true, meaningful, forward - thinking!

5. Approach everything you do in an ideas - oriented manner. Synergistically merge the finest aspects of your intelligence with absoluteintegrity that helps you fully commit on a regular basis to your over - riding ideology.

6. Don't ever merely make promises for the purpose of either being popular or placating others. Rather, seek to deliver on these, after you have delved deeply into needs and priorities, and let your commitment and beliefs drive you to do your absolute best always.

7. When one's mindset is positive, effectiveness is generally exponentially enhanced. Combine the finest in personal effort with realempathy and you will become the best you can be!

8. Don't just do something for the sake of doing so! Rather, attempt to accomplish something with a needs - oriented manner. It makes little sense for you to merely try to fit in or be one of the crowd, but rather improve by knowing what makes you unique and better and identify your optimal personal niche.

9. Never do things just a little bit! Consistently proceed in an attempt to try harder. Trust yourself so that you can identify meaningful trendsand tendencies, and then take timely action.

Many people say they believe in themselves, but merely talk the talk. Strive to be the best you can be, and then believe you can, and your self -CONFIDENCE should permit you to become even better.






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