4 Steps to Help You Be Heard When You Lack Self Esteem

You whisper a suggestion, and the person besides you parrots what you've said to great applause. You want to scream out and say "that was my idea" but your throat is dry, you feel clammy and sweaty and just want the moment to end. Your heart is beating so fast you are sure it is noticeable. At least the focus is off you for now but then suddenly it's your turn to offer something, to say anything and you can't. You are frozen in fear. Business moves on and you want to say something, to say anything so your superiors know that you have something to contribute. The stress response has three options for you, fight or flight, which we are familiar with and then the third, freeze. You cannot move. It's as though you have become disconnected from your body.

You are sick and tired of seeing those less qualified promoted above you, people you've even trained! Why doesn't anyone just notice you and sing your praises? You do all the work and do it well but it goes unnoticed. You've fallen into the rut of being dependable, you never say no to extra work but when favors are being dished out, no one notices your existence.

Was it always like this you ask yourself? You used to have ambition and drive but you're stuck. Your bosses are becoming younger and younger and see you more as a relic from a time gone by, no longer interested in the detail that you pride yourself on.

You find yourself feeling unwell, you may have IBS or other stomach related anxiety. Every day is nerve wrenching as you try to find a way to be noticed for the right reasons. You are competent when left to work alone but as soon as someone in authority is around, you freeze, just like what used to happen at school.

Why?

Because your mind associates authority and your "superiors" as somehow having power over you and you become the "little girl". This is who is reacting in any situation where the focus is upon you. You want attention but you don't and your mind becomes conflicted. You feel unworthy of attention as that inner critic seeks to silence you. How many times have you told yourself, no one is interested in what I have to say, what would I know, they'll laugh at me.

Communication has very little to do with the words that are spoken. It is tone and your body language. This is why bullying claims are very hard to prove, the words of he said/she said are anemic on paper.

Whispering won't get you noticed, you have to learn to speak up in such a way that others listen. They hear you. But you have to believe in yourself before others and believe in you.

Who is someone that is always heard? Do they whisper and cower or do they take up the space they occupy without any hesitancy or apology for being around?

You can use them as a model, a way to understand the relationship between confidence and body language. Improve one, you improve the other. Let's start with these 4 steps. Stand in front of your mirror to notice like a before and after image. Look at how you are standing and your expression, not fun for you, I bet. Now step away and do the following:

4 steps to learn how to speak up:

1. Lower your voice. That's right, lower your pitch. Little girls are high-pitched and so are women and men who lack confidence. Practice it in a store buying a coffee, practice at home.
2. Play your favorite tune in your mind. This must be a song from when you felt alive and confident, an anthem from your teenage years. Singing activates both parts of the brain, the left (logic) for the words and right for the melody. It immediately relaxes the body to prevent your shoulders rolling forward to try to disappear. Singing will encourage you to open your chest.
3. Learn to say "no". Whether or not, you have the time and energy, just start saying no. Don't add an excuse. Just say no. Practice this in the mirror, in a lower timbre and loosen the body with your favorite song, and say, no. Picture the person who prevails upon you the most, the person you carry and say no. Have a giggle to yourself at the sense of power this gives you. You are not a little girl/boy but an adult.
4. Whose confidence do you admire? It can be someone you know, or an actor or a character from a story or movie. See them in your mind's eye, what is it you admire? Drift into their bodies, like trying on clothes, and see what it feels like.

Now go back to your mirror, what are the differences you can see, I bet your face is more relaxed and your body more at ease!

These are little steps that you can adapt and use immediately. It is important to clear the past and choose a therapy modal that suits you. Hypnotherapy and NLP are ideal modalities to raise self esteem as they go to the core of your inner self, your subconscious mind and to heal your inner child self who never learned to speak up because she/he thought what they had to say was not worthy of being heard.

You don't need to be defined by your past. Let these 4 steps act as a catalyst to help you be heard.


Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group


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Why You Have To Own Your Swag To Be Successful

It’s a Tuesday night, and I’m at the bowling alley with a group of guys from a tech company that I deal with. I haven’t bowled for a while and secretly plan to focus on the conversation rather than my lackluster bowling performance.

Before I start, the man that invited me gives me some bowling tips. He has real swag and looks like he’s going to be awesome at bowling. He’s got the walk, the way of holding the ball, and he’s psyching me out with the way he stares.

After the first game where I hit a gutter ball, he gives me a tip and says that I need to the hold the ball with different fingers. I figure I have nothing to lose and take his advice. Then, for the next six odd games, I hit mostly gutter balls.

The decision from this point onwards is easy; it’s time to use my own swag and do what feels right. I change the ball to a slightly heavier one and go back to my old grip. Even though I am going against the rules of the sport, I bowl three strikes in a row and another shot where all the balls except one fall over.

Had I have kept trying to follow my colleagues swag and not embraced my own, I would have failed miserably. As it turns out, I nearly won even with all the gutter balls at the start. Now I’m described as being some bowling genius, and they think I have some secret skill.
My secret skill is my swag and having a go – nothing more. Here are the 4 ways to embrace your own swag:

1. Trust your instincts

Everyone has an opinion about how you should do a particular task; that doesn’t mean you should listen. Your instincts come from your animal ancestors from thousands of years ago, and you have them for a reason. Deep down, you know when you should listen to someone and when you should embrace your swag.

Learning to trust your decision-making ability based on feelings is a hard thing to master. Feeling your way through life without utilising logic goes against what we are taught in school and college. Every problem is supposed to have an answer, isn’t it?

Wrong. Predicting your future is never going to happen. There are a ton of studies that show how your gut instinct is worth acknowledging and is generally right for you. When something feels right, like the way you bowl, embrace it and love that you have your own style.


2. Your swag is you

I’m not sure why, but we humans seem always to want to be everyone else but ourselves. What’s so horrible about the way we are?


“There’s nothing wrong with you and the things that make you different are where the coolness lies”

Part of the challenge is that we think we have to follow a path that has previously been traveled. We don’t. The path we choose in life comes down to what is right for us individually. There are millions of ways to do almost anything so don’t feel like you have to do it like everyone before you.

There are times when it’s good to mirror other people’s success and then there are times to just make up the story as you go along. I prefer to make my own future and then change the world through what I believe that can be somewhat extreme.

Whether it’s a sport like bowling or the way you make money, do it using your own swag. Love your swag and how out of control it can be at times. Swag it out and be proud of who you are right now, and who you’re becoming thanks to all of the growth and personal development you are engaging in.


3. Know it’s okay to look silly

How you look might seem undesirable, but nine times out of ten, no one even notices. My bowling style probably looked stupid to most. It didn’t have the beautiful lines and the fancy footwork. The ball would hit the wooden floor with a sudden thump each time.

To make matters more challenging, all the people present were consuming a fair amount of beer. Strange old me went to the bar and ordered a bottle of water. Did I care if people thought that was weird? No. In fact, people became intrigued and started asking questions.

After these mini-conversations some of the guys looked at their beer with a different view. While they didn’t say it, they wondered what benefit they were getting and if there was a different perspective that might change their future success.

Everyone that was present that night is not going to forget my bowling swag and water drinking antics. In a business context, this makes me stand out from my competitors. Remember, people do life with people and people also do business with people.


“Having the same style as everyone else makes you forgettable and unsuccessful in the long run”

Your swag is cool because “cool” nowadays is about not being afraid to look silly and forgetting about how people might judge you. Every unknown sport is weird until someone achieves success at it and then it becomes mainstream and popular like kite surfing.


4. Not having an experience is worse

I could have just said I can’t bowl so I won’t go and hang out with these tech guys. I won’t embrace building new relationships and expanding my horizons. It would have been very easy on that rainy, windy, cold Melbourne day to curl up in bed with my favorite lemongrass and ginger tea, and consume endless social media content.

I could have admitted I was no good from day one and never stepped out of my comfort zone. The problem with the way of thinking I have just outlined (that was very tempting by the way) is that I would have missed out on life.

Maybe I would have met my future business partner at the bowling alley. Maybe I would have got a new idea for a business and gone on to be a high achieving entrepreneur of a tech startup because of a chance meeting that happened on this day.

You just never know what you are missing out on by being afraid of your swag and not using it to your advantage. By having very few experiences, you are doing more damage than using grit and pushing through any potential embarrassment or struggle. It’s only a struggle if you think it is.

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Take the Risk and Pursue Your Dreams

Like a lot of people we choose to follow a certain path in life, but along the way we give up. Maybe because of new interests, or changed priorities, or unforeseeable circumstances. But there are some desires and dreams that just don't go away, however much we try to ignore or run away from them. Some of these dreams could be something like pursuing a different career path, trying a new venture, or going after the person we are attracted to. If you find that such thoughts are still in your mind several months, or even years down the road, then it might be worth taking the risk, and pursuing those desires.

The source of your true happiness and success in life may just stem from going after those interests. Something that stays in your mind for a long time, is a lot more than just a mere whim or a fleeting desire. It means that deep down inside, you really want these things, but because of a fear of the unknown, you choose to ignore them. Being the stubborn thoughts that they are, they refuse to go away, and you become a frustrated and unhappy person, because of those unfulfilled desires. Take the risk, plan to start that business venture that you always thought would give you the freedom lifestyle that you desired. Give in to that nudging feeling to switch careers, and see how far it can take you. Go after that girl that you secretly admire, but refuse to admit. Tell her how you feel and accept the outcome, because at the very least you will have your peace of mind.

Do not bottle up your secret desires, especially if they are enduring, because in the end they can consume you. Most of the time in life, the fear of the unknown becomes our greatest roadblock to achieving true success. Most people would prefer to remain with the familiar, staying in their comfort zone, rather than go after what they truly desire. If these secret desires refuse to fade away, then it is time you took the risk and pursued them. It may just be your inner voice trying to tell you to travel a different path, to find true success and happiness.

Preparation and Opportunity

With all the twists and turns on life's highway, being prepared can become a daunting task when we don't know what's waiting for us just around the next bend in the road. Oftentimes, preparation is a benefit we gain through living, losing, and learning what it takes, not only to survive, but to succeed. We learn what unique attributes we as individuals posses, that will keep us moving forward, when our feet get weary and the road gets long.

We learn what unique attributes we as individuals posses, that will keep us moving forward, when our feet get weary and the road gets long.

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Ten Terrific Self Motivating Tips

No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another is provide them with incentives to motivate themselves. Here are ten very effective strategies to help you get up and get moving toward actualizing your enormous, untapped potential.

Be willing to leave your comfort zone. The greatest barrier to achieving your potential is your comfort zone. Great things happen when you make friends with your discomfort zone.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Wisdom helps us avoid making mistakes and comes from making a million of them.

Don't indulge in self-limiting thinking. Think empowering, expansive thoughts.

Choose to be happy. Happy people are easily motivated. Happiness is your birthright so don't settle for anything else.

Spend at least one hour a day in self-development. Read good books or listen to inspiring tapes. 

Driving to and from work provides an excellent opportunity to listen to self-improvement tapes.

Train yourself to finish what you start. So many of us become scattered as we try to accomplish a task. Finish one task before you begin another.

Live fully in the present moment. When you live in the past or the future you aren't able to make things happen in the present.

Commit yourself to joy. C.S. Lewis once said, " Joy is the serious business of heaven."

Never quit when you experience a setback or frustration. Success could be just around the corner.

Dare to dream big dreams. If there is anything to the law of expectation then we are moving in the direction of our dreams, goals and expectations.

The real tragedy in life is not in how much we suffer, but rather in how much we miss, so don't miss a thing.

Charles Dubois once said, " We must be prepared, at any moment, to sacrifice who we are for who we are capable of becoming."

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7 Tips for a Successful Life

It is a sad fact of this life in its current form that has a staggeringly high percentage of the general population suffering from low self-esteem.

Some estimates have this figure at an astounding 85%!

Challenges of kicking bad habits or just a general low self belief can make this life hard - much harder than it has to be!

Keeping up the proper mindset to attract more abundance of what we want out of life is hard. Daily challenges continue and will always continue to hit us. The key lies in ensuring that we are adjusting our thoughts and processes during the day to ensure that we maintain the proper understanding and belief required to attract what we want in our lives and expel the negativity that will continuously try to enter our lives like a thief in the night.

Make no mistake, it is a dangerous thief. One that creeps into your life and makes itself at home. Worse than that, we actually start to believe what this nefarious creature whispers into our ears and end up with a life that we truly don't want, or need.

There are things that we can do to keep the beast at bay and vanquished. Below are some tips that I hope will help you.

1: Highway to the Danger Zone.

To build up your self-confidence you must get outside of that comfort zone. Each and every single day put yourself into a situation that makes you uncomfortable in some way. You will soon realise that you are more capable than what you currently think.

2: Compliments

Everyone loves to hear a compliment. Make sure that the compliment is legitimate and not forced. People can see through an unreal compliment and you will come across as sleazy, a liar or worse.

Handing out compliments to those who truly deserve one will come back to you ten-fold.

What's the worst that can happen? You make someone else's day a little brighter for it?

3: Expel The Positivity Thief

Pay CLOSE attention to your inner voice throughout the day. This sneaky little thief will squirm itself into your life if you don't pay attention.

Don't call yourself foolish, an idiot, stupid, fat or ugly. Boost your own self-esteem and improve your self-confidence by boosting your positive attitude to the fore. Catch that positivity thief and expel them into the nether regions where they belong!

4: Stake The Energy Vampires

You know the ones I'm talking about. People in your life that seem to suck the life right out of you!

Be wary and selective in who you let into your inner circle. Some of those that purport to be our closest allies are actually energy vampires. They appear to give you 'advice' that actually impedes you in achieving what you desire. They instill and plant the seeds of doubt that will feed the positivity thief. Inch by inch, step by step they will lead you to a path that is NOT of YOUR choosing.

Look closely at those around you. If it appears that they are literally sucking the life out of you then they most likely are. You know what you need to do, no need for me to spell it out here.

5: Be Grateful

Make time each and every day to list things that you have to be grateful for.

Take time to record each positive step in the right direction. The end goal is that much closer for each and every step in the right direction taken.

Feel good for those small steps, you are on the path that YOU HAVE chosen for yourself.

This will provide further positive momentum and self-confidence to take the next step. Very soon you will be able to look back at the path and be totally amazed by how far you have come.

Be grateful for these steps and don't fear to compliment yourself on each! You are moving in the right direction, whatever direction that may be for you and you deserve to complimented!

6: Ask!

This one seems to be a no-brainer but I'm constantly amazed at how this simple one is overlooked so often.

Ask for what you want. The worst thing that can happen is you get a NO, which will be the outcome if you don't ask!

7. Be An Active Listener.

People love to talk about themselves. It seems to be an ingrained thing in this life as it currently stands. The best 'conversationalists' that I have come across in life are those that actually do more listening than talking.

Our perceptions on what others want to hear are very often skewed and incorrect. Actively listen to these people and you will be amazed by the amount of doors that will open up for you. Doors that you probably weren't even aware existed.

Being an active listener is a skill that needs to be worked on. Catch yourself from interjecting your thoughts while the other person is still talking. Don't fidget with that pen. Make eye contact.

Make the talker understand that they hold your full attention and that you are paying attention.

There's no doubt that you will have read or heard the above tips numerous times. Pick and choose the ones that you can implement now. I have no doubt that your self-esteem and self-confidence will pick up and you will have no boundaries. This is the point that your life becomes truly that - YOURS.

Have you applied these tips in your life?

Share your story about how some of these tips have helped change your life. 

I would love to hear them!

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Did You Know That You Can Build Self Confidence Through Positive Thinking?

The state of your mind dictates many aspects of your life, including your health, the success you achieve in your career, the love, and stability in your personal life, and much more. Negative thoughts lower your level of confidence, which in turn harms your mental state.

A lack of self-confidence plagues many people, though it comes in different levels. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Some people have no confidence at all, while others may exhibit a lack of it under certain situations like on dates with the opposite sex. The good news is that you can do a lot towards building your self-confidence.

By integrating positive thinking into your life, you can slowly push out these negative thoughts for good, and heighten your level of confidence.

The first step is believing that you are worthy of confidence, and that means having a healthy self-esteem where you love who you are without reservation or conditions. If self-esteem is a major issue, a good therapist can go a long way to helping in this regard.

Here are five effective ways to change your mindset and become a more confident individual.

5 Tips For Building Confidence Through Positive Thinking

No matter where you are on the spectrum of self-confidence, whether very low or somewhere in the middle or even near the top, these steps will help you reach that next level.

Self-Appraisal

The first step is building confidence is to truly become in touch with all your great qualities, talents, abilities and attributes. Who are you? What makes you a good person? What do you excel at? What is in your heart? What kind of friend are you? Are you funny? Honest? Caring? Giving? Answering these questions and literally making a list is a great beginning to identifying those things that build our confidence. How you think about yourself actually has a great deal to do with your confidence level. Many are negative thinkers by habit, one that has become engrained in us over the years, possibly starting in childhood when raised by critical parent(s). Make a list, and begin to reinforce this list to yourself daily. Include aspects of your appearance, your talents, activities that you're good at and who you truly are. Anytime you feel upset or are thinking negative thoughts, take out this list and remind yourself of your best qualities.

Self-Praise

While too much self-praise could lead to pride, a healthy dose of self-praise on a regular basis can be extremely useful for building confidence. Positive affirmations push out negative perceptions and create a stronger self-image. You should habitually praise yourself for doing something well or for a new behavior that you want to encourage. It may seem strange telling yourself, "Great job!" or "I like myself," or "I've got this!" but this is the kind of positive thinking that helps you feel better about who you are. If you are a more visual person, it may be helpful to write down a list every day of all your achievements. Meditative on the items on your list before bed, and congratulate yourself for all the achievements of the day.

Accepting Compliments

Many people with low self-esteem brush off and negate compliments with statements like, "I messed up my painting here and here" or "My shirt isn't that great, it's just the first thing I grabbed." Other people will seem to receive the compliment but then internally tell themselves why it isn't true. Compliments are confirmation from other people about your admirable qualities. You should accept the compliments with grace by simply saying "thank you," or "I so appreciate your noticing," so that your mind continuously affirms your positive traits. Stay conscious of each time you negate someone's compliment, and do better next time.

Creative Visualization Exercises

Creative visualization is becoming an increasingly popular way to help people obtain their goals. The concept calls for you to repeatedly visualize the outcome of your goal. If you are an actor, you might envision yourself holding an Oscar. If you are aiming to build your confidence, you may want to envision an action that represents confidence from your own perspective. It could be something like leading a meeting with top executives or asking for a raise. Through creative visualization, you are building confidence by mentally preparing yourself for your desired outcome(s).

Positive People

Do you have a friend or acquaintance who continually brings you down, whether intentionally or unintentionally? You may want to consider whether that person should remain in your life. Even if the person is family, you need to separate yourself from that person however possible. If he or she isn't respecting you, then he or she will have to understand that you two can no longer associate until respect is part of the relationship. This may sound harsh, but negative people have one of the strongest, if not the strongest, impact on your self-confidence. While it may be difficult to let go of that relationship, it is a necessary step towards building your self-confidence.

Remember, building your confidence is not going to happen overnight. Integrate these tips into your life, and over time, you will see change. The most important point to remember is that positive thinking is key to building confidence. Whenever you feel the negative thoughts creeping in, turn them around into something positive.

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25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself

Feeling less than motivated all too often? I do. Well, perhaps not too often. But sometimes I just feel really lazy and unmotivated.

Want some practical solutions to that universal motivation-problem? Here are 25 of them. Try a handful.

Let me know which ones work well for you.

I’m sure you’ll find at least one or two that do just that among these suggestions.


1. Make a deal with yourself. Good for overcoming procrastination and getting things done. You can make the deal small or large. You simple tell yourself something like: When I’m done with this chapter/these reports I can take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream.


2. Act like it. If you don’t feel motivated or enthusiastic then act like it. The strange thing is that within a few minutes you actually start to feel motivated or enthusiastic for real.


3. Ask uplifting questions in the morning. Here’s what you do; every morning ask yourself five empowering three-part questions this way:


What am I ______ about in my life right now?
What about it makes me _______?
How does it make me feel?

Put in your own value in the blank space. For instance, a couple of my questions are:

What am I happy about in my life right now?
What am I excited about in my life right now?

It’s important that you really feel how it makes you feel. When I think about the last part about what makes me happy right now I really feel it. These morning questions are great because the way they are set up makes you recognize things you take for granted and then they really get you to feel those positive feelings.


4. Move the goalposts. Set a large and specific goal. This will motivate you much more than small goals. A big goal has a big effect and can create a lot of motivation.


5. Do something small and create a flow. Just clean your desk. Or pay your bills. Or wash the dishes. You just need to get started. When you have finished that small task you’ll feel more alert and ready to go do the next thing. You just to get started to get motivated. So if you really don’t feel like doing anything, start with something small and work your way out up.


6. Do the toughest task first. This will ease a lot of your day-to-day worries and boost your self-confidence for the rest of the day. Read more about doing the hardest task bright and early right here.


7. Start slow. Instead of jumping into something at full speed start slow. When you do that your mind will not visualize the task as something hard that you have to do fast, fast, fast. If your mind sees such things guess what often happens? Yep, you don’t get started. Actually getting started, even if it’s at a slow pace, is a whole lot better than not getting started at all.


8. Compare yourself with yourself. Not with others. Comparing what you have and your results to what other people have and have accomplished can really kill your motivation. There are always people ahead of you. Most likely quite a bit of people. And a few of them are miles ahead. So focus on you. On your results. And how you can and have improved them.

Reviewing your results is important so you see where you have gone wrong in the past to avoid similar missteps further on. But it’s also important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a review.

9. Remember your successes. And let them flow through your mind instead of your failures. Write down your successes. Consider using a journal of some kind since it’s easy to forget your successes.

10. Act like your heroes. Read about them, watch them, listen to them. Discover what they did that was special and what made them tick. But remember that they are people just like us. So let them inspire you instead of looking up at them admiringly.

11. Remember to have fun. Or create fun in a task. Then you’ll stay motivated to do and finish it.


12. Get out of your comfort zone. Face your challenges to get a real boost of motivation. If you are holding yourself back have a look at 5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear and the methods in this article. They can help you get started and take that first scary step outside your comfort zone.


13. Don’t fear failure. Instead redefine it as feedback and as a natural part of a successful life. As Michael Jordan said:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Also, try to find the valuable lesson(s) in each of your failures. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this?

14. Do some research on what you are about to do. Then your expectations will be more grounded in reality and you can also get good hints on what difficulties that you might run into along the way. Managing your expectations can lower the often almost explosive initial enthusiasm. But it can also lessen the lack of motivation that usually follows when most of that enthusiasm has dissipated.

When you know what has happened to others in similar situations – what path they have walked – you can adapt and try their solutions (and personal variations of those) and your own. This makes the worries and challenges easier to handle. Both emotionally – since you know at least some of the things that will happen and that others have lived through it before – and practically.


15. Figure out why you are doing something. If you don’t know or don’t have good enough reason to do something then it will be hard to get it done. Do things that you have really strong reasons to do. If you want to do something then figure out a good reason to do it. If you can’t find one consider dropping it and doing something that you have a good reason to do instead.


16. Write down your goals and reasons for working towards them. Tape them on your wall, computer or bathroom mirror. Then you’ll be reminded throughout the day and it becomes easier to stay on track and stay focused.


17. Take The Positivity Challenge! Learn to think more positively most of the time. Learn to let to go of negative threads of thought before they have a chance to take hold of you. You might not be able to be positive all the time no matter what happens. But I think most of us can improve on our positive thinking and the results it can lead us to. Perhaps more than you realize right now.

18. Cut down on TV. Do you watch it too much? Watch less of what they are doing in TV-land and do more of what you want to do in life.


19. Break it down. Break down your task or project into small steps. And just start with focusing on that first small step. When you are done move on to the next and just focus on that one. The small successes will keep your motivation up and keeping your focus away from the big picture stops you from becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you follow this simple method.


20. Reprogram your information intake. Program out negative and cynical thoughts from the media and society. Reduce your information intake. Then program in positive news and entertainment, more of your own thoughts and useful information such as personal growth tapes and books. Be selective and keep it positive.


21. Make use of your creativity. Take out a piece of paper. Write at the top of the page what area in your life you would like to have more ideas about. Perhaps you want ideas to earn more money or become a healthier person. Then brainstorm until you have written down 20 ideas on that topic. Then try for 10 more. Not all ideas will be good. But some will. And as you make use of your creativity you not only discover useful ideas. You also discover just how creative you can be if you try and how motivating and great that feels.

22. Find out what makes you happy. Then do that. As much as you want or can.

23. Listen while you’re on the move. Build your own small library of motivational/personal development tapes. Listen to them while you are driving, riding the bus or your bike, while you are out running or walking. Take a peek at my recommended personal development products if you are looking for a good place to start.


24. Think outside your box. Don’t imagine the future from the box of what you have now. Just because your mind is in box of previous experiences doesn’t mean that´s the limits of the world. Your possibilities are much larger. Create the future from the now and from nothing rather than your past to experience bigger changes with fewer limitations than you would if you created it from what you can see from your box.


25. Make each day count. We don’t have all the time in the world. So focus on today and do the things you really want to do.

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How to Adopt A Productive Mindset

Everybody knows we live in an age of distraction. We have so many different things vying for our attention that it’s hard to focus on any one thing, let alone make progress on the multitude of tasks we have on our plates.

A lot of productivity advice would tell you that you need to cut out the distractions. If email or social media are distracting you, simply get away from them or use a program to block them for the amount of time you need to complete a task.

Here’s the problem: Being distraction-free doesn’t equal productivity. I’m a writer, and as a writer, I’m always working on building my platform and trying to connect with potential readers on social media. But there are times when I need to disconnect and just write.

How to Adopt A Productive Mindset

But just because you get away from the distractions doesn’t mean you’ll be productive with the time you have. As a writer, for example, it’s easy to justify doing anything other than writing as research or creative thinking.

We start to think that if we’re doing something, then we’re being productive. But you can work really hard at the wrong things, fooling yourself into thinking that you’re moving forward when you’re really just spinning your wheels.

The key to productivity is adopting a productive mindset and learning how to focus your creative energy on the things that matter.


1. Know Your Why

Leadership expert Simon Sinek says in his book Start with Why that “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” Sinek’s book is all about discovering the why that drives productivity and effectiveness.

There’s a why behind everything that we do, but it’s not always a conscious why. We eat breakfast in the morning probably because we’re hungry, but we don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about the purpose behind our desire to eat breakfast.

Having a productive mindset starts with identifying why you do the things you do.
Why are you writing that blog post?
Why are you contacting that client?
Why are you creating that product?

Questions like these force you to do some serious evaluation of your priorities because you’ll discover that the reason why you do some things isn’t a good enough reason to continue doing those things.

Knowing your why involves looking at your productivity strategy and identifying exactly what you hope to accomplish with all that you do and what motivates you to do it.


Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to move into the next step, which requires you to eliminate some of the things you do that aren’t aiding in your productivity.

2. Identify the Tasks that Make You the Most Productive

Any productivity system inevitably includes making a list at some point of all the tasks you have to do. This is good practice because it allows you to see on paper what you’re spending your creative energies on. It also forces you to see obvious disconnects between the more important things you do and the less important.

What are the tasks that make you the most productive?

Working hard isn’t enough to be successful at doing what you love because you can work hard at things that are only drying up your creative energy instead of creating results.

You have to identify the things that are most worth your time because they’re the most rewarding in terms of productivity.

If you’re a teacher and you want to learn how to better engage students in your class, researching engagement methods can be good, but there can also be a point when researching is only a practice in inactivity.

You have to identify what is going to be most productive for your context, which will likely include identifying the needs and interests of your students rather than reading about the strategies other teachers have used on their students.

Whatever it is you do for a living, identify the tasks that will make you the most productive in your professional arena.


3. Focus Your Creative Energy by Challenging Yourself

Once you have a list of the tasks that will make you the most productive, you need a strategy for actually completing those tasks. This is where going above and beyond the simple elimination of distractions is vital.

If you really want to get tasks completed, you have to challenge yourself. Tap into your naturally competitive nature and use it to your advantage.

Set a timer for a specific amount of time and challenge yourself to complete as much of a task as you can within that time frame. Of course, you want to complete the task well, so avoid using the timer as an excuse to do mediocre work.

Challenging yourself to complete a task in a certain amount of time assumes that you’ll be free of distractions.

Distractions would get in the way of reaching your goal.

A timed runner doesn’t stop to play a game or send a text message in the middle of a race because she realizes those distractions would only hinder her ability to reach her goal.

For a specific timing strategy, you might want to check out the Pomodoro Technique, which involves alternating between timed working on a task followed by a short break before the next dive back into the task.


“CHALLENGE YOURSELF EVERYDAY TO DO BETTER AND BE BETTER. REMEMBER, GROWTH STARTS WITH A DECISION TO MOVE BEYOND YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES.” – ROBERT TEW


4. Be Passionate About Results

A productive mindset requires a high degree of commitment to getting the job done. When the process makes you weary, it’s the results and your why that will drive you to keep going.

As a writer, it can be really easy to give up in the middle of a story because the process is starting to feel slow and unrewarding. But the story isn’t finished, and the only way I can see the result of a finished story is to keep going.

If you’re lucky, you’ll love what you do, but don’t focus too much on loving what you do because on some days, you won’t.

On those days, you still need to be productive, so when you’re not passionate about the process, at least be passionate about the results so that you’ll keep going to see the results in the end.

If you want to be more productive, you have to start with adopting a productive mindset. You’ll only make things happen when you begin to focus your creative energy on the things that matter.


How did you adopt a productive mindset?

And if you still haven’t done so, which of the points above do you think was most important?

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6 Practical Ways To Stamp Out Negative Thoughts and Be More Positive

Thoughts are powerful things. They can literally empower you with confidence and motivation, or drain your energy and rob you of your get up and go. Clearly, thinking positive thoughts and maintaining a positive mindset is crucial for self-growth, but it isn't always that easy, right?

Admittedly, our thoughts are one of the hardest things to control, but there are a few painless strategies you can put to use right away to get negative thoughts under-control.

#1 Cultivate Mindfulness

Mindfulness simply means to live in the moment - the here and now. When you think about it, the present moment is the only moment that matters. The past is the past and the future has yet to happen. I think Eckhart Tolle summed it up best with, "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life."

#2 Stop Labelling Yourself

Negative thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "I could never achieve that," or "why does my life suck," are self sabotaging thoughts that feed your emotions and lower your self-esteem. From now on, listen out for that nagging voice in your mind, and pinch yourself when you do catch yourself labelling yourself or putting yourself down.

#3 You Gotta Roll With It

The famous band Oasis hit the nail on the head when they sung "you gotta roll with it." Of course, life is a roller coaster with many ups and downs. And you will experience rough patches where your will is going to be tested. But challenge yourself to look for the positive in everything and remind yourself that there's always a silver lining in the clouds.

#4 Selective Ignorance

External influences such as media and other people can have a significant impact on your own mental attitude. Choose to empower yourself with feedback and solicitations that are positive. Watching inspirational seminars, reading positive quotes, and listening to comedians are a few simple ways to empower your mind with positivity. Likewise, surround yourself with positive people and steer clear of those who drain your positive energy.

#5 Keep Your Mind Busy

If your mind is burdened with negative thoughts then get stuck into something to take your mind off it. Find productive activities that not only occupy the mind but leave you feeling positive and good, even if it's just a few house chores, anything that keeps your mind positively occupied is an effective tool for stamping out negative thoughts fast.

#6 Practice Meditation Daily

My favorite past time. Meditating truly is a powerful tool that can help you block out negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Through daily meditation, you will learn to cultivate mindfulness and you will gain more control over your thoughts. Try it for 30 days. Just set aside 10 minutes a day for the next thirty days to work on finding your inner-zen.

The Bottom Line

There you have it, six practical tips to stamp out negative thoughts and cultivate a positive attitude. Puts these tips to use today and you will soon have those negative thoughts under-control.



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3 Ways to Get Things Done When You Don't Want To

Everyone experiences that feeling of not being able to get anything done. Not just not getting things done because you ran out of time or had emergencies come up, but rather just that you can't do it. Usually you're mentally out of it or frazzled or just plain aren't able to care enough right now to do anything. It's kind of a mental exhaustion more than anything else. Sometimes we feel physically exhausted because of it too.

What do you do about this? It's not something that you can fix by learning a new skill. You've probably already got the skills to do what needs to be done. It's not something that can be fixed by listening to some motivational speaker most of the time. Motivational speakers often stir up excitement that pushes us over the edge into action. When you're mentally out of it, you're no where near that edge.

Here's a few simple methods I've used over the years to want to get those things done, so I can actually be able to get them done.


Walk away. Somethings you just have to walk away from things and take a break. This might be taking a few days of total relaxation where you don't try to do anything or worry about doing anything. It might mean a few days of vacation somewhere nice and sunny. The important thing is to not think about what needs to be done at all if you can arrange it. When you get back, your mind is often relaxed enough to concentrate on what you have to do.

Delegate it. This one isn't something everyone can do depending on what you're blocked on. If you're a small business owner, there may not be anyone handy to delegate things to. Some things only you can do. However, there are things even small business owners can delegate. There's plenty of options to outsource work on the internet. There's temporary help you can hire locally. Heck, sometimes you can get your family to help out. The key is to get someone to ease your load and so you can ease your mind.

Just don't do it. Let it go. Just don't do it. The majority of things get stuck on or mentally check out when they come up are things that we rarely absolutely have to do. There's a small number of things that are so critical to our personal and professional lives that we absolutely have to do without fail if we don't want to cause a catastrophe. The things we just can't get ourselves to do are rarely thing things that earn us the most money, get the most clients, get the most things done or please the boss the most.



What's the common thread here? We give ourselves a break. Why? So we can work through whatever's keeping us from being able to do the things we think we should without the added pressure of feeling guilty for not doing them.




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Tips To Have A Positive Attitude

The quality of one's life is governed by his or her attitude. There are occasions when success remains evasive and there are times when you succeed without least expecting it! Your personal development and success depends to a great extent on your attitude. People with a negative attitude are generally pessimistic and have a negative approach and are avoided by others. Not only do they lead a miserable lifestyle, even those associated with such people get influenced by this attitude. On the contrary people with positive attitudes attract like-minded people. They are full of enthusiasm and radiate confidence.

In order to therefore succeed in life, you need positive people around you who experience great things in their life and people who love to live their life to the fullest.

Take some of the following simple steps to develop a positive attitude.

Think Positive: Learn to develop a positive mind-set. Ignore negativity and keep it away when it creeps into your mind. Simply brush it off.

Talk Positive : Cultivate the habit of using positive words in your conversation. Pessimism creates negative vocabulary while optimism automatically turns your conversation into positivity.

Change your outlook: It is like saying "The glass is half full" not "The glass is half empty". Your outlook on anything brings out the optimism or pessimism in you. Let circumstances and disappointments not discourage you.

Love what you do: To put it differently 'Do what you Love'. When you do what you love, it brings out the best performance from you. There may arise a situation when you have to do something you do not like. Do it anyway and enjoy the process as perhaps that is the only option to achieve your result.

Encourage others: As you sow, so you reap. Encourage and compliment others on their success and positive attitudes. This in itself will give you lot of happiness and get positive returns.

Affirmations: Several times during the day repeat self affirmations. Over a period of time these self affirmations will become part of your system in such a way that negativity will stay away from you.

Expect the best Always : Give no room for doubt. You deserve the best. Demand it in your mind and go after it.

Regularly following and adopting the above few points and referring to several other personal development resources will help develop positive attitude which in turn will give you happiness and success in your life. Since it is your life that you have to live, why should you not deserve the best?

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How To Use Positive Thinking To Reduce Anger

Contrary to the popular belief, feeling angry is actually a healthy and natural response to certain events. 

These events can be something that is caused by your surrounding environment such as missing your bus or flight. Or they can be caused by events that have happened to you at an earlier date or by events that are happening in your personal life.

Your body goes through a whole series of biochemical changes when you become angry. Your blood levels rise, your heart rate increases, as are your hormone and adrenaline levels.

Demonstrating anger at certain times is appropriate and has been ingrained deep inside us as a survival instinct.

When you or your family are threatened, you react out of anger. Who isn't going to defend themselves or loved ones when necessary?

However, problems occur in the way that you react to certain situations. If your child is hurt, then your reaction is going to be more severe than when arguing with a co-worker.

Unfortunately these extremes or responses are not always appropriate. You may find that you totally lose it with a co-worker instead of attempting to just talk things out. When this happens, you have to admit that you have an anger management issue and you proactively take steps to rectify it.

One way to do this is by using positive thinking. You want to learn how to objectively look at what you can learn from the situation and how to handle it in a more constructive beneficial way.

If a particular person is making you angry, try to think about them in a more positive light and actively figure out what you can learn from this annoying person.

Don't just focus on what he or she does that makes your blood boil. Look for their merits and strengths instead. Maybe they are awesome with creating new software program for your company, even they have a bad attitude problem.

One way to improve the way you think is to start using positive affirmations on a daily basis.

Quite often it is the way you view a situation that is the cause of your anger, and not the actual situation itself.

You may just be feeling stressed out so your emotions are the moment bring out your bad side.

So you always want to invest some personal time for yourself. You want to spend some time alone to exercise, to meditate, to reflect and to think clearly (maybe during a relaxing warm bath after a long day).

The next time you react in an angry manner, take 2 minutes and do some deep breathing exercises. Calm your mind before you think about the best way to respond.

In case you reacted too recklessly, ask yourself if your reaction is justified or not. If no, then look for another way on how you can handle the situation in a more positive way next time.

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Essence of Self Confidence

Have you ever observed how people pay more attention to what things look like than what purpose these things actually exist for? For example, there are two bars of the same chocolate in two different boxes. The other is covered in beautiful and shiny paper. The latter is placed in a plain box on top a hidden shelf. Obviously, you know which one will get picked by people who pass by, even though the contents are the same. Believe it or not, this is the very same case when it comes to people and confidence. In fact, it happens to people every second of the day, every day of the year. Whenever people mingle, there's just no room for the absence of assessment. Although there are a few people on earth who do not mind what their peers think of, chances are there are billions more who actually care and get terribly affected by negative remarks. The sad part is that most of these people are often misjudged due to how they look, act and other shallow standards. From never looking anyone straight in the eye, excessively fumbling and even murmuring instead if talking... all these barriers to personal growth are actually manifestations of low self esteem.

You see, having self confidence is the trigger which pulls off every positive aspect of life. It is the overall aura you exude for people to notice you. It is the element which lessens other people's doubts about what you are actually worth. This is the element you often see in models when they strut on the catwalk. This is the silencing power you sense in CEO's. It is the soundless air you feel whenever you meet someone which leaves you impressed for no apparent reason at all.

High levels of self-confidence give anyone, including you, more potential to do what has to be done in order to achieve your dreams and ambitions. Professionally, you can use confidence to take your career a notch higher than where it usually is. When you look confident, people will stop looking at you as a fumbling fool. They will get interested in what you are capable of doing. As such, you can seize every opportunity to exert extra effort so that you can show how good you are at your field. Your confidence will assure you of an audience. Your peers and bosses will watch in anticipation as they try to see what you can accomplish. After that, appreciation will follow and you are almost set for the next big step.

Even your personal life is highly affected by confidence. When it comes to relationships, confident people always seem to establish steady emotional bonds with ease and resilience. Confidence is often equated to honesty. It's a character only people who have nothing to hide can truly possess. As you might have observed, people love the absence of pretense. When you're confident, you are actually giving yourself a chance to be what it is no matter how lame it may be according to the world. With this kind of attitude, it will be just a matter of time before you meet people who share common passions with you. By utilizing confidence you can establish these similarities without awkwardness, thus strengthening your personal ties with people.

Most importantly, a steady sense of self confidence can make you feel better as an individual. With it, you can love yourself for who you really are. You can sleep at night knowing the positive and negative aspects of your life, thus giving yourself a chance to make things right. Without insecurity, you can look every problem straight in the eye. You will never have to flee from belittling remarks and violent reactions simply because you believe and know what you are truly capable of. This is the power only pure non amalgamated confidence can make you possess.

Ways to Give Your Self-Confidence a Quick Boost

1. Stay Prepared

No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and act like you know it's going to be a good day. Why is this one of the best confidence boosters? Because you can be sure that when you are prepared for success, it will find you.

2. Order Dessert

This one here is not so much a question of putting your complex carbohydrates before your protein; it's more about doing something that goes against the "norm". Besides the quick boost you'll get from the sugars, breaking some of life's little rules can be quite liberating and can nurture your fearless inner diva.

3. Check Yourself

Checking in with your thoughts and feelings about yourself may be one of the single most important things you can do throughout the day. Most of us tend to be our own worst critics. Left unchecked, that persistently annoying voice that tells us we aren't doing enough or we aren't good enough, will only grow louder and eventually dominate our thoughts.

4. Value Yourself

Because from one fabulous lady to another, paying a deserving compliment goes a long way toward making us feel better about ourselves and unfortunately, we don't do it enough. Contrary to popular belief, criticizing others actually does not make us feel better. Showing that you genuinely appreciate the excellence in another, not only demonstrates the value of your own self worth, but it can be motivation to look around for things that are positive.






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I Have the Power to Change Myself

Challenges are regular visitors in our life, and nobody is immune to them. They can either make you lose hope, and even give up, or we can use these challenges to make positive changes in our life.

For instance:

Develop your passion

Having a passion for something, will motivate you towards achieving your goals. When setting your goals, you always want to be passionate about those goals, because if you love what you do, you will be driven by the desire to achieve success. This will go a long way towards reaching your dreams.

Believe in yourself

To believe in yourself is a prerequisite for success. When you have doubts, or negative feelings about yourself, you are sabotaging your progress. Instead you want to see yourself as a winner, and believe in yourself. Feeding your mind with positives, will reinforce your beliefs, and sweep any doubts out of your system.

Track your progress.

It is important that you take note of every improvement you make. This will motivate you to work even harder. Every step forward will give you a boost, and accelerate your efforts to the achievement of your ultimate goal. Learn how to control your emotions. It is important that you use your emotional intelligence, when you encounter problems in your life. You are a product of your thoughts and feelings, and any negative emotions that crop up, can negate the positive forward movement you enjoyed earlier. Approach any challenge with a positive outlook, which will help toward a quick, and positive resolution. You have all the tools you need, in order to make positive changes in your life. The potential for your life is absolutely staggering. The possibilities in front of you go way beyond anything you ever dreamed of. And the best part is, you are in control. It is in your hands to make the changes necessary, to take your life to new heights.

This statement is a perfect description about friendship. While all friends can buy you drinks, drive you home, and/or spoil you in any other way, only the best of them will help you to realize the awesome potential within you. It is only the best among them that can push you to achieve you full potential. It is only the best friend, who is able to give you the confidence to see your capabilities, and help you harness them, in order to set, and reach your lofty goals. It is not surprising, that such an expressive quote came from Henry Ford. Henry Ford is a legend in the automotive industry. The companies he set up continue to thrive, and are enjoying exponential growth. He himself was a remarkable success. To be, where he was, he must have experienced the upsides of many good friendships. Good friends, who spurred him on to become the success as we know it.


As you might have realized already, the path to success is often paved with frustrations and discouragements. Best friends come in, when you experience bout after bout of disappointments. They help you see the big picture, and encourage you to rise from momentary failures, and feelings of disillusionment. True friends will always be there when you need them. The best friendships begin when one person chooses to give unconditionally, when a person chooses to care. It is true, you will often come across individuals, who are ever ready to receive whatever you choose to give, without necessarily giving much back, if anything at all.

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4 Ways to Amplify Your Confidence

Lack of confidence can be a tough thing to contend with. It can prevent us going for what we want, make social interactions a challenge and leave us feeling lost, frustrated and stuck. There are things we can do to build our confidence though – it’s often not something that just comes naturally! Some things can be implemented in an instant whereas others take a little more time.

As an introvert, confidence (or lack of it) is something I have had to deal with in life. Though actually, even the most outgoing people can lack confidence in many ways too. Confidence is unique to every person, regardless of their personality. For me, it still unveils its face in some situations but here are 4 things that I have done (and still do) to overcome it.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Whenever I feel like my lack of confidence is stopping me taking a bold step or doing something I really want to do, I pull out the ‘what is the worst that could happen?‘ card. That gives me the exact perspective I need to do it anyway. And in all cases, the worst thing (which is never that bad!) never happens. In fact, I usually feel great at the fact I pushed past the fear. And then I remember that feeing for next time!


Big changes come from taking small steps.

If you lack confidence in an area, what little thing can you do to push yourself just slightly out of your comfort zone without completely overwhelming yourself? As an example, if you struggle with confidence socially around other people, challenge yourself every day for a week to smile at 3 people you don’t know. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but can give you a real confidence boost to know you have instigated that subtle interaction. Plus, you’ll likely make the days of 3 people!

Get good at what you want to be confident in.

Confidence when it comes to doing something well usually doesn’t come completely naturally. To anyone! Think about those people you know who are confident in their work. The chances are they’ve practiced or nurtured the skills they need to get really good at what they do. Or musicians or public speakers. They may have raw talent but endless hours will have been spent perfecting their craft so that they can get up and do their thing with absolute conviction and confidence. Even people who seem to ooze confidence socially have probably practiced it! So what practical steps can you take to get good at an area that you want more confidence in?


Don’t beat yourself up over it.

For me personally, this is the most important lesson I’ve learned. Ultimately it’s that inner confidence that provides the core foundation to then build upon. And that comes from self-acceptance. I spent most of my twenties in a battle with myself and my confidence as a consequence, was at an all time low. I couldn’t really see a way forward or find my confidence because I didn’t know who I was. I lost my passion for everything. After working through this, the natural confidence I have cultivated now really comes from just letting go. Letting go of fear of what people think, fear of failure, fear of fun, even! By taking care of myself, doing the things I love, going for what I want in my career, laughing, spending time with people who bring out the best in me and constantly pushing myself in a positive way to do more, with that has come self acceptance and confidence.

There are many situations in which we may have to ‘put on’ confidence and that’s normal. But really, the end goal I think, is having that true, authentic inner confidence. And that comes when you amp up the self-care, do things that make you feel on top of the world and not be afraid to let your true, fantastic and completely unique personality shine through.

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