Setting Personal Boundaries

A personal space is a space where you hide your own weaknesses, strengths, pain, past, fear, etc. and a boundary is your personal space where you decide, who you want to be, what company you want to be in, what are your motives in life and who are important to you. When you set priorities for each and every person in your life it is the time when you set your personal boundaries. These boundaries show the limits regarding how others can treat or behave around you. Setting boundaries will ensure your protection against emotional and mental exploitation. Healthy boundaries are those that are impartial and reasonable and suitable for one's age and maturity. You can say yes or no without guilt, feel angry or fearful. You can refuse to tolerate abuse or disrespect. Thus, make yourself a unique personality.

Some signs of unhealthy boundaries

1. Talking to someone unknown at an intimate level. 

2. Letting others control your life. 

3. Unreasonably, intentionally hurting someone. 

4. Tolerating false and vulgar remarks. 

5. Letting others set boundaries for you. 

6. Doing something against your family morals, personal values and rights. 

7. Letting others take undue advantage of you. 

8. Tolerating mockery made out of you constantly. 

9. Passing comments without knowing the person's situation and his/her hardships. 

10. Violating other's boundaries.

Tips for setting boundaries

For setting healthy boundaries we need to keep certain things in mind. Due to fear of rejection and loneliness, you hesitate in expressing your feelings and desires. And in order to avoid the conflict and the feeling that you owe them for some reason, you constantly tolerate the disrespectful behavior, hence resulting in becoming a doormat. This happens when you are unable to set your personal boundaries. So, stop being doormat because you are responsible for how you allow others to treat you.

Learn to say No and Stop pleasing others at your own cost. When it comes to your self-respect and dignity then you must not ignore your personal needs, profits and unnecessarily agree to do those things that can harm your well-being.

Using various strategies to set healthy boundaries:

There are some appropriate ways to assert boundaries and you have to follow them one by one according to hardness of the situation.

1. Informing: Firstly we need to calmly make them realize that the way they are behaving is not appropriate. 

2. Requesting: After informing we can request them to lower their voice and try to cool them down. 

3. Instructing: In case the person completely ignores our request, then we must instruct him/her to bring appropriate changes in their behavior. 

4. Warning and demanding: Even after instructing if there is no change in his/her behavior and conduct towards us, then firstly we need to warn them and then command them to change their conduct. 

5. Lastly if there is still no sign of change in behavior then leave the place to avoid further conflict.

Be tactful in some situation, as they are worth letting go, because sometimes your actions can get you into dangerous situation, which are quite difficult to handle. For example while walking down the road, someone whistles or stares you; if you are alone, then it is better to ignore it.

As it is rightly said that if you want respect then you must give respect so, respect other's boundaries, if you want others to respect your boundaries. Respecting other's boundary can help you in becoming more mature, responsible and understanding. Hence

"Discipline yourself to do what is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction."- Brain Tracy.

Source

4 Steps to Help You Be Heard When You Lack Self Esteem

You whisper a suggestion, and the person besides you parrots what you've said to great applause. You want to scream out and say "that was my idea" but your throat is dry, you feel clammy and sweaty and just want the moment to end. Your heart is beating so fast you are sure it is noticeable. At least the focus is off you for now but then suddenly it's your turn to offer something, to say anything and you can't. You are frozen in fear. Business moves on and you want to say something, to say anything so your superiors know that you have something to contribute. The stress response has three options for you, fight or flight, which we are familiar with and then the third, freeze. You cannot move. It's as though you have become disconnected from your body.

You are sick and tired of seeing those less qualified promoted above you, people you've even trained! Why doesn't anyone just notice you and sing your praises? You do all the work and do it well but it goes unnoticed. You've fallen into the rut of being dependable, you never say no to extra work but when favors are being dished out, no one notices your existence.

Was it always like this you ask yourself? You used to have ambition and drive but you're stuck. Your bosses are becoming younger and younger and see you more as a relic from a time gone by, no longer interested in the detail that you pride yourself on.

You find yourself feeling unwell, you may have IBS or other stomach related anxiety. Every day is nerve wrenching as you try to find a way to be noticed for the right reasons. You are competent when left to work alone but as soon as someone in authority is around, you freeze, just like what used to happen at school.

Why?

Because your mind associates authority and your "superiors" as somehow having power over you and you become the "little girl". This is who is reacting in any situation where the focus is upon you. You want attention but you don't and your mind becomes conflicted. You feel unworthy of attention as that inner critic seeks to silence you. How many times have you told yourself, no one is interested in what I have to say, what would I know, they'll laugh at me.

Communication has very little to do with the words that are spoken. It is tone and your body language. This is why bullying claims are very hard to prove, the words of he said/she said are anemic on paper.

Whispering won't get you noticed, you have to learn to speak up in such a way that others listen. They hear you. But you have to believe in yourself before others and believe in you.

Who is someone that is always heard? Do they whisper and cower or do they take up the space they occupy without any hesitancy or apology for being around?

You can use them as a model, a way to understand the relationship between confidence and body language. Improve one, you improve the other. Let's start with these 4 steps. Stand in front of your mirror to notice like a before and after image. Look at how you are standing and your expression, not fun for you, I bet. Now step away and do the following:

4 steps to learn how to speak up:

1. Lower your voice. That's right, lower your pitch. Little girls are high-pitched and so are women and men who lack confidence. Practice it in a store buying a coffee, practice at home.
2. Play your favorite tune in your mind. This must be a song from when you felt alive and confident, an anthem from your teenage years. Singing activates both parts of the brain, the left (logic) for the words and right for the melody. It immediately relaxes the body to prevent your shoulders rolling forward to try to disappear. Singing will encourage you to open your chest.
3. Learn to say "no". Whether or not, you have the time and energy, just start saying no. Don't add an excuse. Just say no. Practice this in the mirror, in a lower timbre and loosen the body with your favorite song, and say, no. Picture the person who prevails upon you the most, the person you carry and say no. Have a giggle to yourself at the sense of power this gives you. You are not a little girl/boy but an adult.
4. Whose confidence do you admire? It can be someone you know, or an actor or a character from a story or movie. See them in your mind's eye, what is it you admire? Drift into their bodies, like trying on clothes, and see what it feels like.

Now go back to your mirror, what are the differences you can see, I bet your face is more relaxed and your body more at ease!

These are little steps that you can adapt and use immediately. It is important to clear the past and choose a therapy modal that suits you. Hypnotherapy and NLP are ideal modalities to raise self esteem as they go to the core of your inner self, your subconscious mind and to heal your inner child self who never learned to speak up because she/he thought what they had to say was not worthy of being heard.

You don't need to be defined by your past. Let these 4 steps act as a catalyst to help you be heard.


Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group


Source

Monsters and Molehills

'Molehills in life are bumps in the road; they become monsters when we accept them as powerful truth, allowing them to become monsters chasing us through life. Molehills like the teacher who could not find anything redeeming in the student and carelessly flung demeaning insults, leaving behind a child who believed every word they said and became what they believed. The molehill became a monster that chased the child relentlessly through life, one failure after another.

Molehills are the path of destruction left after something uninvited digs its way through our sub conscious mind leaving a tunnel of doubt and a path of fear that somewhere in that dark tunnel lies the truth about who we will become. What we believe may be the most important block in our foundation. Even the greatest of blessings cannot be delivered if we cannot believe; we must believe to receive. Harboring the fear that we do not deserve or cannot achieve something that is important to us will ensure that we cannot.

Damage that begins in childhood plants deeper roots in our subconscious; it has a long time to grow and dig in. A child is born believing in goodness, it simply knows no other way. Trust has brought the child to this new beginning with a fragile defense system in place. In the absence of steady and positive reinforcement of encouraging truth and what can be, it is far easier for a child to believe what they see and hear, to begin to grow from those ideas. Sadly this is frequently the beginning of a long and difficult road filled with doubt, self-recriminations and fear of rejection that keeps the best in life at bay. The good things were never unattainable; they just became a mirage that could not be touched.

Sometimes there is no one to provide the kind of direction and reinforcement we need to escape from the monsters. How can we defeat something we believe is more powerful than us? Only by standing still and objectively looking at the monster, without any emotion. Emotion colors what we see and creates a binding force that ties us to the monster. Pain creates trauma; trauma is one of the strongest emotional bonds. It is necessary to tear the wound back open and stop pretending that we don't really care about things that matter a lot.

This leaves us vulnerable; vulnerable to the same pain, the same wrong ideas and yes, vulnerable to receiving the best that we can believe in. It is this that makes it worth the effort of tearing it open and re-examining without emotion what really happened. When we can do this, we can believe in ourselves and the best that life can provide for us, leaving the monster powerless. Like a shape-shifter it fades back into the molehill it always was, just a bump in the road. This is all that is necessary to be free to receive the best we can believe in.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

3 Reasons to Carve Out Time Each Day for Yourself and Increase Your Productivity

"I have no time to myself" this is a common refrain by everyone.

Now ask yourself this question, whose fault is it?

First, you have to accept that personal time is a necessity, not a luxury or you will never leave yourself any. This is a growing problem that will even affect your productivity and your health. Let me explain.

One of the most effective ways to manage this is to actually make an appointment with yourself. Block time on your calendar for taking yourself out to lunch, a 30-minute soaking bath, an hour at the library, or at your favorite coffee café. Then treat this like any other high priority appointment and keep it with a vengeance and determination. This is for your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Schedule other appointments like this one through out the month, do not a standard Saturday afternoon one hour once a week slot, this routine will become too common place and will disregard the importance of it. You must think of this as a priority and something to look forward to and plan.

We all need some kind of break each day, to getaway from work, chores, and people, even family. Use your great brain and calmly think of creative ways to make time for you. Perhaps at first your family will need a bit of explaining to understand that you are doing something for them as well as for you and you are not selfish. While you are explaining you are also defusing any guilt that might surface, nurturers are notorious for self-imposed guilt.

Depriving yourself of "me time" will only leave your feeling ornery, resentful and stressed out.

Your stressful emotions will spill over onto your family, friends and other relationships. They will feel that something is wrong and they will absorb your stress.

Knowing that your emotions influence others, you have choices to make. You can be grouchy, resentful, negative, stressed and difficult to be around or you can be pleasant, loving caring calm, happy and a productive fostering healthy relationships.

Besides, how else can we properly evaluate what we are doing, see the big picture, and appreciate those we love, unless we stand back from them once in awhile.

This standing back allows you to put your daily life in to perceptive and you gain patience and calmness. Once you have your daily agenda controlled, you can start on the weekly strategies. This will be an ongoing process but a happier, healthier life is worth it.

Take your allotted number of time outs, this time out ideas are a natural way of managing your stress and becoming comfortable with nurturing you. 

Nurturing the nurturer is a major method in naturally managing your stress.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

How to Stay Calm: 17 Tips for Stressful and Frustrating Situations

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

The stress is rising. You’re starting to feel frustrated with situation you’re in. Or angry. Or maybe sad and like you just want to pack up and go home.

But at the same time you also know that you need to keep calm.

To be able to think clearly. To not overreact, make the wrong decision or to not say the wrong thing in a moment of anger, overwhelm or confusion.

I’m sure you – just like me – have been in situations like these many times.

So this week I’d like to share 17 habits and strategies that have helped me to keep calm and to keep moving forward.



1. Just breathe.

This is pretty much always step one for me.

Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit. If you have the time in the situation you’re in then I recommend sitting down for 1-2 minutes to do this. Only focus on the air slowly going and out and nothing else.

2. Then think of the consequences.

If you’re in a situation where you need to reply to what someone just said then follow up your few deep breaths with thinking about the consequences if you reply with overly tough words or if you back down instead of calmly standing your ground.

If you have an email or a phone message you need to reply to then consider taking more time to cool down – anywhere between 10 minutes to the next day – to get yourself into the right headspace before you reply.

3. Remember: It’s not always about you.

If someone attacks you with harsh words in a conversation or via email or phone then remind yourself that this may not even be about you.

He might be going overboard or overreacting because he’s having a bad day with a sick child or just a lot of things going wrong. Or she may lash out because she’s unhappy with her job, marriage or haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

This reminder helps me to not take everything so personally and to think for a minute and calm down instead of being reactive and escalating the situation.

4. Take it just one small – or tiny – step at a time.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out then don’t make the classic mistake of thinking you have to do everything at once to solve this situation.

Just focus on making a start. On one small step or even just a tiny one you can take to move forward.

I find that when I approach a situation like this then I rarely get stuck in analysis paralysis and my mind calms down when I know I only have to do one small thing at a time.

5. Question your perspective.

If you feel that you’re starting to get really frustrated, angry or sad about a situation then question your perspective before it goes any further.

Ask yourself:
How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes? This one can help you to go from negative emotions to empathy and understanding. And that tends to help to both calm down and to find a solution for the both of you.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? This one grounds me and helps me to stop sweating all the small stuff and to not make mountains out molehills in everyday life. And it helps me to once again focus my time and energy on what truly matters in my life.

6. What would someone else do?

Another way to change your perspective in a tough situation is to get outside of your own head a bit.

Do that by asking yourself: what would X do in this situation?

Some good people or characters that you could use for the X and this question are:
Winnie the Pooh.
Mom or dad.
Your calm and wise friend.

Find a person in your life or someone from a book, movie etc. that you truly like and ask yourself what he or she would do to find a new perspective.

7. Cycle fully focused work with 100% rest.

This could be a solution if you’re stressed today.

But it is more importantly a long term solution to reduce stress levels and to consistently put yourself in a better headspace to handle the inevitable setbacks and crises that will happen at work.

You need to clear boundaries for this to work though.

Here are three such boundaries I use in my own life.
A start time and stop time for my work day. And that’s 8 o clock in the morning and 7 o clock in the evening.
A break every 45 minutes. Usually, after about 45 minutes of work I take a 10-15 minute break. If I have trouble with following that guideline and work too much then I use the alarm function on my smart phone to stick to my work/rest cycle.
No work on weekends. I stay away from the work computer except for doing one quick check of my inbox. And I only reply to emails there that are urgent. The rest can wait until Monday. If you use a work phone then leave it at your job. Or at least keep it off and only check the messages 1-2 times per weekend.

8. Remember to keep things extremely simple.

Here’s a reminder that I’ve used more time than I can count: “Keep things extremely simple”.

It used to be at the top of my white board for over a year to remind me to not overcomplicate and to think of situations and solutions in the simplest way I could. Overthinking is a big contributor to stress and to spending too much time and energy on things that aren’t really that complicated.

I quite often sandwich this reminder between first focusing on my breathing and then following it up with focusing on one small or tiny step forward.

9. Ask instead of guessing.

Trying to mindread someone can quickly amplify stress and frustration. Because it’s pretty much impossible to do.

Plus, it can easily lead to a much worse scenario in your mind than what is actually going on in the other person’s head.

So communicate and ask what you want to ask.

10. Be 10 minutes early.

Not much help when you’re already in stressful situation. But a good reminder for tomorrow and next week.

Plan a bit ahead so that you can – as often as possible – let transportation time between meetings and destinations during your day become a small window where you can fully relax and rejuvenate so that you’ll be able to do fully focused work or be truly engaged when you arrive.

11. Reduce your to-do list.

A big or seemingly endless to-do list can cause a ton of overwhelm and stress.

To calm down simply ask yourself: what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?

Then work on that task one step at a time.

This one helps me to quickly find my focus and to get started with doing one of truly most important things when I’m stressed. And it helps me to be selective with what I put on my to-do list for the day and week in the first place.

12. Go for a 5-15 minute laugh break.

When you feel overwhelmed and it’s hard to think then you can take this somewhat odd but effective kind of break.

For maybe 5-15 minutes focus on having fun, smiling and laughing.

Laughing and finding some fun breaks stress and tension. It helps your mind to relax.

You can do this by just spending a bit of time with someone at work, in school or at home that you know you’ll have fun with.

But I also recommend having a small mental or physical folder of things that you know will make you laugh.

For me it’s for example episodes of the Simpsons or comics by The Oatmeal and Jim Benton.

After that break you can return to your work or the situation that you’re trying to figure out with a lighter mind.

13. Take some time for yourself in nature.

A more conventional alternative to laugh breaks is to take a break where you go out in nature and spend some time in silence there to recharge yourself.

I usually take these breaks by going out for a slow walk in our nearby forest where I take in all the sounds, sights and smells for a little while.

14. Ask for help.

You don’t always have to go it alone in these situations. You can ask a friend, family member or even someone you may not know that well for a bit of help.

You might not always get it but you may be surprised at how helpful people can be if you just ask.

15. Just take care of today.

It’s hard to keep calm if you look at all the things you may have to get to done to solve a situation or to overcome a challenge.

That’s why I’ve already shared a few tips that help you to concentrate on a much smaller part of the situation. Such as when you focus on just one small or tiny step or when you ask yourself the question about what you’d work on if you only had 2 hours for work today.

Here’s another one of those tips and habits that help me.

What you do is simply to tell yourself: just take care of today.

Concentrate only on that. Forget about all the tomorrows for now. Narrow your focus and take care of only today.

Tomorrow will come in time and you can take care of it then.

16. Had a setback? Then be your own best friend.

Don’t let a temporary setback drag you down into a thought spiral of defeatism and negativity.

Instead, ask yourself this to keep going on a healthier track even if you don’t feel so good at the moment:

How would my best friend or my parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

17. Listen to yourself.

If you feel you’re having more trouble than usual with staying calm in several situations and you’re really frustrated in general and drained of energy then listen to yourself.

Step back before you run right into a brick wall and do or say something you really wouldn’t usually do.

Schedule more time to just take care of yourself.

Spend one evening – or a few – in bed and just watch your favorite TV-shows or movies. Take a trip over the weekend and just focus on relaxing and doing what you think is fun or fulfilling. Spend more time out in nature for a few days or a week.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

Steps to Develop More Discipline

At some point in life, every person will feel the effects of a lack of self-discipline. It is a challenging goal to conquer, but anyone can develop more discipline. There will be set-backs along the way, but establishing good self-discipline is an important step for your personal development.

1. You are human

Don't forget that you are a human being. You will make mistakes, it is only natural. People start learning by trial and error in infancy-adult learning is often no different. The goal here is to learn from your mistakes and not keep repeating the same error time and time again. If you mess up one day, don't give up and don't beat yourself up. Just start fresh the next day.

2. Set attainable goals

Nothing kills a plan faster feeling like it's impossible to get anywhere. It's not conducive to your personal development to set the bar too high at first. If you currently don't exercise at all, a goal of walking three times a week is a nice, attainable goal. You are not going to go from being sedentary to running marathons overnight. Remember to keep your goals in check with your abilities. If you set the bar too high at first, you will burn out and give up. Set yourself up for success by keeping your goals within your abilities.

3. Reward yourself

When you reach a goal, go ahead and reward yourself. If you walk three times this week, allow yourself to splurge on a night out with friends. When goal achievement goes unrewarded, we have a tendency to stop moving forward. Everybody needs to feel like they got a "win" sometimes. When you attain a goal, reward yourself. You are worth it.

4. Use your time effectively

Time is a precious commodity-treat it as such. When you get wrapped up in a task, you sacrifice time elsewhere. Creating a schedule for your day can help to eliminate situations where you feel like you worked all day, yet accomplished nothing.

5. Schedule fun time

Often we get so wrapped up in everything we have to do that we forget about doing what we want to do. The stress of everyday life can feel crushing some days. It is so important to schedule time in your day for something you enjoy. Without this release, you are setting yourself up to burn out. Burn out can kill any self-discipline progress you have made. Scheduling a few minutes each day for enjoyable activities is not only fun, it's essential to your mental health.

With these simple steps even the most disorganized person can achieve some self-discipline. Take charge of your life today!

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source:

How to Stay Calm: 17 Tips for Stressful and Frustrating Situations

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

The stress is rising. You’re starting to feel frustrated with situation you’re in. Or angry. Or maybe sad and like you just want to pack up and go home.

But at the same time you also know that you need to keep calm.

To be able to think clearly. To not overreact, make the wrong decision or to not say the wrong thing in a moment of anger, overwhelm or confusion.

I’m sure you – just like me – have been in situations like these many times.

So this week I’d like to share 17 habits and strategies that have helped me to keep calm and to keep moving forward.


1. Just breathe.

This is pretty much always step one for me.

Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit. If you have the time in the situation you’re in then I recommend sitting down for 1-2 minutes to do this. Only focus on the air slowly going and out and nothing else.

2. Then think of the consequences.

If you’re in a situation where you need to reply to what someone just said then follow up your few deep breaths with thinking about the consequences if you reply with overly tough words or if you back down instead of calmly standing your ground.

If you have an email or a phone message you need to reply to then consider taking more time to cool down – anywhere between 10 minutes to the next day – to get yourself into the right headspace before you reply.

3. Remember: It’s not always about you.

If someone attacks you with harsh words in a conversation or via email or phone then remind yourself that this may not even be about you.

He might be going overboard or overreacting because he’s having a bad day with a sick child or just a lot of things going wrong. Or she may lash out because she’s unhappy with her job, marriage or haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

This reminder helps me to not take everything so personally and to think for a minute and calm down instead of being reactive and escalating the situation.

4. Take it just one small – or tiny – step at a time.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out then don’t make the classic mistake of thinking you have to do everything at once to solve this situation.

Just focus on making a start. On one small step or even just a tiny one you can take to move forward.

I find that when I approach a situation like this then I rarely get stuck in analysis paralysis and my mind calms down when I know I only have to do one small thing at a time.

5. Question your perspective.

If you feel that you’re starting to get really frustrated, angry or sad about a situation then question your perspective before it goes any further.

Ask yourself:
How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes? This one can help you to go from negative emotions to empathy and understanding. And that tends to help to both calm down and to find a solution for the both of you.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? This one grounds me and helps me to stop sweating all the small stuff and to not make mountains out molehills in everyday life. And it helps me to once again focus my time and energy on what truly matters in my life.

6. What would someone else do?

Another way to change your perspective in a tough situation is to get outside of your own head a bit.

Do that by asking yourself: what would X do in this situation?

Some good people or characters that you could use for the X and this question are:
Winnie the Pooh.
Mom or dad.
Your calm and wise friend.

Find a person in your life or someone from a book, movie etc. that you truly like and ask yourself what he or she would do to find a new perspective.

7. Cycle fully focused work with 100% rest.

This could be a solution if you’re stressed today.

But it is more importantly a long term solution to reduce stress levels and to consistently put yourself in a better headspace to handle the inevitable setbacks and crises that will happen at work.

You need to clear boundaries for this to work though.

Here are three such boundaries I use in my own life.
A start time and stop time for my work day. And that’s 8 o clock in the morning and 7 o clock in the evening.
A break every 45 minutes. Usually, after about 45 minutes of work I take a 10-15 minute break. If I have trouble with following that guideline and work too much then I use the alarm function on my smart phone to stick to my work/rest cycle.
No work on weekends. I stay away from the work computer except for doing one quick check of my inbox. And I only reply to emails there that are urgent. The rest can wait until Monday. If you use a work phone then leave it at your job. Or at least keep it off and only check the messages 1-2 times per weekend.

8. Remember to keep things extremely simple.

Here’s a reminder that I’ve used more time than I can count: “Keep things extremely simple”.

It used to be at the top of my white board for over a year to remind me to not overcomplicate and to think of situations and solutions in the simplest way I could. Overthinking is a big contributor to stress and to spending too much time and energy on things that aren’t really that complicated.

I quite often sandwich this reminder between first focusing on my breathing and then following it up with focusing on one small or tiny step forward.

9. Ask instead of guessing.

Trying to mindread someone can quickly amplify stress and frustration. Because it’s pretty much impossible to do.

Plus, it can easily lead to a much worse scenario in your mind than what is actually going on in the other person’s head.

So communicate and ask what you want to ask.

10. Be 10 minutes early.

Not much help when you’re already in stressful situation. But a good reminder for tomorrow and next week.

Plan a bit ahead so that you can – as often as possible – let transportation time between meetings and destinations during your day become a small window where you can fully relax and rejuvenate so that you’ll be able to do fully focused work or be truly engaged when you arrive.

11. Reduce your to-do list.
A big or seemingly endless to-do list can cause a ton of overwhelm and stress.

To calm down simply ask yourself: what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?

Then work on that task one step at a time.

This one helps me to quickly find my focus and to get started with doing one of truly most important things when I’m stressed. And it helps me to be selective with what I put on my to-do list for the day and week in the first place.

12. Go for a 5-15 minute laugh break.

When you feel overwhelmed and it’s hard to think then you can take this somewhat odd but effective kind of break.

For maybe 5-15 minutes focus on having fun, smiling and laughing.

Laughing and finding some fun breaks stress and tension. It helps your mind to relax.

You can do this by just spending a bit of time with someone at work, in school or at home that you know you’ll have fun with.

But I also recommend having a small mental or physical folder of things that you know will make you laugh.

For me it’s for example episodes of the Simpsons or comics by The Oatmeal and Jim Benton.

After that break you can return to your work or the situation that you’re trying to figure out with a lighter mind.

13. Take some time for yourself in nature.

A more conventional alternative to laugh breaks is to take a break where you go out in nature and spend some time in silence there to recharge yourself.

I usually take these breaks by going out for a slow walk in our nearby forest where I take in all the sounds, sights and smells for a little while.

14. Ask for help.

You don’t always have to go it alone in these situations. You can ask a friend, family member or even someone you may not know that well for a bit of help.

You might not always get it but you may be surprised at how helpful people can be if you just ask.

15. Just take care of today.

It’s hard to keep calm if you look at all the things you may have to get to done to solve a situation or to overcome a challenge.

That’s why I’ve already shared a few tips that help you to concentrate on a much smaller part of the situation. Such as when you focus on just one small or tiny step or when you ask yourself the question about what you’d work on if you only had 2 hours for work today.

Here’s another one of those tips and habits that help me.

What you do is simply to tell yourself: just take care of today.

Concentrate only on that. Forget about all the tomorrows for now. Narrow your focus and take care of only today.

Tomorrow will come in time and you can take care of it then.

16. Had a setback? Then be your own best friend.

Don’t let a temporary setback drag you down into a thought spiral of defeatism and negativity.

Instead, ask yourself this to keep going on a healthier track even if you don’t feel so good at the moment:

How would my best friend or my parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

17. Listen to yourself.

If you feel you’re having more trouble than usual with staying calm in several situations and you’re really frustrated in general and drained of energy then listen to yourself.

Step back before you run right into a brick wall and do or say something you really wouldn’t usually do.

Schedule more time to just take care of yourself.

Spend one evening – or a few – in bed and just watch your favorite TV-shows or movies. Take a trip over the weekend and just focus on relaxing and doing what you think is fun or fulfilling. Spend more time out in nature for a few days or a week.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

3 Tips To Upgrade Your Morning Routine

Having a morning routine is one of the best ways to kick-start a day in the most productive, positive and healthy manner and be energized and motivated throughout the whole day.

It takes time to form it as a habit. You begin by waking up earlier than you have to and investing that time in some activities that are good for your mind, body and soul. Over time, you add new elements to it like meditating, working out, creating your to-do list for the day, organizing things to save time later on, etc.

For some people, however, it never gets easier no matter how long they've been having a ritual to start the day successfully. Sometimes, it's still a struggle and you realize you can't become a morning person, don't find enough joy in this whole thing, aren't as effective as you should and feel upset because of all this.

If that sounds familiar, then here are some tips to deal with your morning routine struggle, and take your mornings to the next level by making the most of every minute:

1. Go to bed with intention.

In life you should always know why you do what you do. A reason becomes a purpose and makes everything easier and meaningful. To apply that approach to how you start your day means to decide to have a powerful morning routine the night before, go to bed with that thought in mind and prepare to prevent failing.

Here are some things you can do tonight for a highly productive and inspiring early morning:

Write down why your morning ritual matters to you and how it can change your life - doing that before sleep gets the message to your subconscious mind and you truly believe in the power of starting the day this way. You'll wake up motivated to do all the morning habits you desire.

Be excited about it - look forward to leaving bed earlier tomorrow morning. Remember that few people find the willpower to actually get up earlier than they have to and use that extra time to become more disciplined, organized, energized and productive.

Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room so that you'll have to go get it and thus avoid the temptation to close your eyes for 5 minutes more.

Prepare your clothes - keep them beside your bed to know what to do in the morning and make it more likely to dress up.

De-clutter - seeing chaos first thing in the morning will keep you in a bad mood for the whole day. Make sure you put everything back in its place, wash the dishes, organize your desk, etc.

2. Make the ritual more fun.

To look forward to waking up in the morning and make sure you do your whole routine, include activities you enjoy, or stuff that can't happen at any other moment of the day. 

Wanna take up a new hobby? Wake up an hour earlier and dedicate that time to it. Be it painting, learning a new language, creating a digital business, or taking a fun course online.

If you are looking for some peaceful me time, there's no better choice than the early hours of the day. Do some reading or writing, while listening to music or drinking your coffee or tea slowly and with a smile on your face. No one will be there to bother you and you'll keep that calm attitude till the evening.

3. See how others are doing it.

If you struggle with your morning ritual, take a look at what some remarkable people out there are doing first thing in the morning to stay motivated and steal an idea or a few. 

Read about the daily rituals of famous men in history, read blog posts from successful entrepreneurs and notice how they start each day. They'll all talk about how this is one of their best habits. Whatever you do, keep in mind you're working on yourself and thus being a role model. You inspire with your actions!

But if you don't take control of your morning, you'll still have a routine, it will just be a bad one. The average person wakes up with the last alarm, complains about having to be up at that time, doesn't have time to prepare for the day, leaves in a hurry, often forgets something, and begins the day in an awful mood. Don't become someone like that. Even if you're struggling with your ritual, keep working and making changes slowly over time. It's worth it!

Source

Listen and Learn

"We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less." Diogenes

The benefits of good listening skills are significant. Everyone loves a good listener and one invariably learns a lot by listening, including who is worth listening to! People will open up and sometimes say the darndest things and all we have to do is be there and show that we are paying attention. It is ironic that saying and (mostly) doing nothing is such a vital component of relationship-building. Yet listening is the foundation of bonding; silently, one demonstrates empathy, telegraphs that another human being matters and creates rapport. Fortunately, the art of listening can be learned.

Working to disrupt the benefits of listening is our love of the sound of our own voice, so persistent that we sometimes don't know when to shut up. Talking is lots of fun, especially for the extroverts among us. Silence can be uncomfortable. But we all know that listening is an important communication skill. When we allow others to express themselves and tell their story, we demonstrate that we care about them and that we value the quality of the information that they are sharing.

Attention, please

When listening, give the speaker your undivided attention. Nothing else communicates the level of respect that you have for another than this one act. Let the phone go to voicemail, close the laptop lid. Sharing your valuable time with another and focusing your attention on that individual is so validating. It is also a defining element of charisma. Charismatic people are known to make whomever they are listening to feel as if only the two of them are in the room. Demonstrate your laser focus with eye contact, smiling or showing concern, nodding your head and declining to interrupt, except to ask a question or two that ensures that you understand what is being said.

Risk and trust

As noted above, when people start talking, you might be floored by what is revealed. No matter how you feel about what has been said, maintain your cool. Show that you are worthy of the trust that has been extended to you by way of the revelation. Appreciate and acknowledge the risk that was taken by the speaker when the decision was made to confide in you.

Take notes

Always take notes when in a business meeting. When you write as someone talks, you demonstrate that the subject of the conversation is important to you. The note-taking process also allows you to ask questions to ensure that you understand what has been said. Within 48 hours, send an email or a hand-written note in which you thank that individual for meeting with you and confirm the agreed-upon next steps.

Achieve understanding

Stephen Covey (1932-2012), author of the timeless self-help classic The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (1989), noted that most people listen not to understand, but to reply. Be careful not to jump to conclusions or hear only what you want or expect to hear. Perfect the art of listening and minimize miscommunication problems that can lead to costly mistakes or hurt feelings.

Listening is an art form that unfortunately, is underrated. Regardless, the most compelling leaders, the most successful sales professionals, the most powerful negotiators, the most charismatic people and those with whom we develop the most satisfying relationships are all active listeners. 

Follow the advice of Diogenes and sharpen your listening skills by employing patience and self-discipline to your business and social conversations.





Source: 

How To Turn Fears Into Fuels

Contrary to the popular belief, it is not just our physical bodies that are a result of evolution.

Likewise, it is also our minds, our psychology and our consciousness that have been shaped by the world that we evolved in and that is where a lot of our most unusual behaviors come from.

In the past, our ancestors lived in an extremely dangerous, hazardous and hostile environment where they needed to pay attention to constant potential danger signs and avoid any possible risks.

Based on Charles Darwin's theory of the survival for the fittest, only the genes and psychological traits that made us most likely to survive were passed along from generation to generation.

Even though it's thousands if not millions years later, we still have this nature of risk aversion and that's why it's our default to survive, not to thrive.

It is most people's default to remain in the status quo, instead of disrupting the old model to build new better ones.

It is most people's default to stay in the comfort zone of mediocrity, instead of pushing themselves to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and pursue the growth zone.

It is most people's default to move themselves away from fear instead of facing fear eye-to-eye and lean towards their edges.

Why are we so afraid of uncertainty?

Well, imagine that you were living in an era back in the Stone Age.

You were out in the wild, looking at the silhouette of some kind of animal sitting on the horizon. You weren't too sure if that silhouette is of a lion or some kind of kitten, so what do you do?

The most pertinent solution in order to survive was to assume the worst.

So it was natural for us to assume it's a fierce, dangerous, life-threatening lion, so we try to freeze, fight or run away.

Those who took chances were basically idiots that were most likely to get eaten and fail to pass on their genes to the next generation.

This was a smart move in the past, but not anymore in today's world.

The chances of being eaten by wild animals alive are not even comparable to regular car accidents.

Your living environment has changed. Your circumstances have changed. Your biggest threat to your life has changed.

Nowadays, it is problems like obesity, debts, divorces, interpersonal conflicts, careers, happiness and fulfillment issues that bother us the most.

While our biggest "enemies" have changed, our biological nature hasn't evolved much and it's sabotaging your success in the modern world.

So here's the deal.

While it's unfortunate that the human biology and psychology have still remained back in the days, we still have this personal power and a short window of opportunity to choose how we perceive and respond to certain things.

We can succumb ourselves to our fears, anxieties, and imaginative worries; OR we can observe our own emotions, remain calm and cool, and be assured that we're not actually in physical danger and there's nothing to be afraid of.

In other words, it's our choice to assess any situations with our intelligence, claim ownership of our stressful feelings, and take action to transform our psychology into a more empowering state.

Be objective about the circumstances.

Let your excuses pop up and have a laugh at these mindless noises.

Take massive imperfect action immediately because you're safe and secure and action cures all.

That's exactly how you turn fears into fuels.

Source: 

7 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Stress is a big part of life, unfortunately. Particularly if you’re a dreamer, and some things just haven’t gone the way you wanted them to. However, once you know how to control your stress levels, things become a lot easier for you.

Unfortunately, we all have daily stress, and it can come from many sources. But stress is something you can definitely reduce, by taking a few simple steps.

7 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Here are 7 things to keep in mind that will reduce your stress level and make it easier to be happier and more productive at whatever you do.


1) Sleep well

Many people underestimate the value of sleep. It is all too easy to stay up late and give up your sleep time. Especially when you are young and feel like you can do anything.

Research shows that sleep deprivation affects your body’s healthy balance, so it is not something you want to cut out. Think of it as mistreating yourself because lack of sleep affects everything you do. If you have trouble sleeping, there are many ways to address the problem.

Talk to your doctor for solutions.


2) Eat Healthy
We all know how it feels to skip meals because we are too busy, or eating too much of the type of foods that are unhealthy.

When you want to improve your diet, there are many choices. Just reducing your sugar intake is one sure method. Avoid sugar sweetened drinks and those with high doses of caffeine is another.

Sticking to a diet rich in protein with large amounts of fruits and vegetables is generally good advice.

3) Simplify
Life can get complicated, especially when you find yourself being very active and not having enough time for yourself.

It’s easy to take on too many projects, to work overtime, or to spend excessive time involved in community or school projects and activities. When you choose to simplify your life, you decide to cut back on stress-inducing activities.

You purposely slow down, and plan quiet time for yourself and your family. Another way to simplify refers to the recent popular trend of cutting back on your material possessions.

Cleaning out closets and organizing your home or workspace is always a good idea.


4) Exercise

Exercise is one of the fastest and easiest ways to de-stress.

Many people go to the gym or take up running. But even doing simpler methods like just riding a bike or spending time in your living room each morning doing cardio moves, or taking regular walks every day are ways to improve your health and reduce your stress level.

Exercise reduces your risk for getting chronic diseases because it improves your immune system. Along with exercising, you should also make sure you drink enough water to stay hydrated.


5) Be creative
Have you ever noticed how people who have serious hobbies are rarely depressed?

This is because doing something creative is a way to channel your energy in a new direction. Find something to do that you are interested in, such as gardening, scrap-booking, putting together a photo project, or woodworking.

Or maybe you are interested in doing a larger home project such as remodeling your garage or building a wine cellar. You will quickly see that it will help you unwind from your work day. Hobbies are fun to do and a great way to spend time away from everything else.
Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Here are 7 things to keep in mind that will reduce your stress level and make it easier to be happier and more productive at whatever you do.


6) Take time to relax

Some people forget to take time out of their regular activities to relax.

But, more and more people are realizing just how valuable relaxation time is. Taking time to relax will make you feel better and give you more energy to to be productive at work.

There are many ways to relax, such as visiting a health spa or taking a yoga class. Many people use meditation to help them relax.

Doing outside activities also help you unwind, so take time to travel and explore new places you have never been before, or get outside somewhere close to home.


7) Schedule Fun

One of the biggest mistakes people make is to overwork.

Life can seem so fast paced, and the demands of excessive job hours can seem overwhelming. This is why it is so important to schedule time for fun activities.

Whether you are single, or have a family, doing something outdoors with friends, or with your partner or children is very important. Live a little better every day. Get out of the house, try something new and have some fun!


Keep these 7 tips in mind when you want to reduce your stress level. Sleep well, eat healthy, simplify, exercise, be creative, relax and have fun.


These ideas will help you to stay balanced and live happier and healthier every day.

Source