5 Powerful Changes You Can Make To Relieve Anxiety, Stop Negative Thoughts and Be Happy

From birth to death, people have always been looking for happiness. We often hear this phrase a lot, "I just want to be happy". Have you ever stopped and thought about what it means to be "happy"? Why no matter how hard you try, happiness comes hard for you, and it seems to come easier for others? What is your personal definition of happiness? How can you tell if you're truly happy?

This post will give you a few tips and tricks to be able to change the way you think, just a little bit, that can result in powerful change in the direction of true happiness!

Let's get to it!

Recovering From Failures

The human race has built itself into what it is today using only 1 tool: failure.

A spin off of the Charles Dickens quote in the opening of his book A Tale of Two Cities goes like this: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, truly the best of times". This means that through all the good times and all the bad times there's always a silver lining, a positive aspect that makes it all worth it.

Successful people have also faced many difficulties and failures in which they've turned into strong positive roots moving forward by learning from them and fully appreciating their roles in making themselves into more knowledgeable and better people for it.

Approval Seeking

You may sometimes be unsure if your decisions are the right ones and are constantly looking for approval from others to mitigate the risk of having a negative outcome.

In the end this behaviour may make you seem less confident in your decisions. Make concise and confident recommendations and delegations with positive expectations in mind. This will not only free your mind of the negative burden of stress and anxiety but it will also, with time and experience, make for more successful decisions and help develop confidence.

You may also be seeking the approval of your peers in school or "the popular kids". This, subconsciously, makes other feel as if you are not comfortable with who you are. You are who you are, and who you are is great. By constantly seeking approval you are suppressing your own personality. Show people who you are and remember not to look for validation from them. If you amuse yourself and make yourself happy then you will also amuse other people and they will like you for who you are.

Always anticipate that people will like you, if you really believe it then it will come true because your mind and body will make the adjustments necessary with that confidence to make it reality.

Outcome Dependency

Outcome dependency is very similar to approval seeking. What you want to try to notice when you are showing signs of outcome dependency and make conscious decisions to free your mind of the outcome, be present, go with the flow and anticipate only positivity.

If by chance your school presentation doesn't go well, you do not get the job, or your decision results poorly then you should be happy because you've just learned so much from that experience which will make you better and stronger next time!

If you are OK with learning from failures, you should have no reason to fear the outcome of a situation.

Comparisons & Jealousy

Notice your thinking patterns. You are not alone, many people often compare themselves with others in this manner, some of us may not even be fully aware that we are comparing ourselves at this, or any, extent.

We want to be prettier, happier, have more money and things; this makes us feel bad about our own self and causes us to resent and repel others, you start to miss out on great opportunities, friendships and life lessons.

Instead of comparing your life with others, compare your life only to YOUR life. Think of yourself as the only person you need to impress and prove something to. Have an inner battle with yourself, challenge yourself to be more and do more. Check in with your own progress from time to time and reward yourself for it.

Giving Positivity

Selfless acts in general make you feel positive about yourself and spread positivity to others, the more positivity we have in this world the easier it is to be happy. Compassion is one of the life's most wonderful feelings and gifts. It will make a big difference in your life and happiness.

Here are some ideas of how you can give positive energy or do some good deeds in this world:

Donate to charity

Help a friend in need

Volunteer for something you're passionate about

Buy a gift or flowers for your mother or grandmother

Allow a fellow driver to merge into your lane

Write a thank you note to someone who won't expect it

Compliment others

Hold the door for others

Say hello to others and smile

Pick up trash from the sidewalk

Help someone who seems to be struggling with something

For you to accept positivity you must firstly disarm the power that negativity has over you. Be aware and be the person you want to become.

Source

The Procrastination Cure You Can't Put Off Any Longer

There are certain bad habits that get all the attention. Look around, and you'll see many warnings against smoking, overeating, binge watching TV, or drinking to excess. But there is one particularly nasty tendency millions of us share that doesn't get a fraction of the attention it deserves - the habit of procrastinating on our most important tasks.

It's easy to put off until tomorrow what we need to finish today. Unfortunately, that tends to leave you farther and farther behind on your work, and paints you as either inconsiderate of other people's time, or unable to manage your own life.

Study the people who have the most success in this world, and you'll find that they inevitably tend to be very punctual. They finish their work ahead of time, and never put off important tasks. And when it comes to being where they're supposed to be, they know that keeping to routines and schedules is important for maintaining control over their time, and will go out of their way to stick to their plans.

That's a big contrast to the way most people manage their schedules, of course, but it doesn't have to be. Here are three steps you can take today to break your procrastination habit...

Step #1: Recognize the Psychological Causes of Procrastination

Psychologically speaking, there are a lot of reasons people procrastinate. But a few stand out as being the most prominent.

First, it's easier for your subconscious mind to relax than it is to actively chase your conscious goals. Staying still or goofing off feels pleasurable and rewarding right now, whereas putting yourself through the mental effort of an uncomfortable activity doesn't provide an instant payoff. So certain parts of your brain are always going to want to pull you back to bed, onto the couch, or over to Facebook if you don't have good habits.

Another reason people tend to procrastinate so much is that they simply aren't motivated by the goals in front of them. When you aren't personally excited to achieve something, your subconscious will stop you from acting upon it. Your rational brain may know that your boss wants that report by the end of the day, but it doesn't feel urgent to you, which means it will take a lot of willpower to get moving.

And finally, people with low self-esteem tend to be the biggest procrastinators of all. They may feel afraid of success, or as if they don't deserve it. And so they self-sabotage their own efforts by putting things off until the last minute, missing deadlines, and making it impossible to do their best work.

Step #2: Face the Problem Head On

Regardless of which of these issues stops you from showing up on time or handling important tasks when you should, the best way to beat procrastination is to tackle the problem head-on with a few clear strategies.

The first is to simply make it harder to put things off. A classic example of this would be the person who puts their alarm clock in another room. In order to turn it off, they have to get out of bed, walk somewhere else, and press a button. By that time, they are far less inclined to hit the snooze button and do it all over again. That's a simple illustration, but there are probably dozens of ways you can remove distractions in your life and get things done faster.

You could also let others know that you're trying to beat the procrastination habit. Encourage them to acknowledge it when you're late, or make a pact with them that you'll set aside a few dollars every time you miss a deadline or put something off. That kind of simple punishment is enough to create a sense of accountability and get you thinking about your habits.

Step #3: Let the New Habit Take Hold

Don't expect you'll make the decision to stop procrastinating and be able to change your behavior in an instant. As with all habits, procrastination is something that is deeply ingrained at a personal and emotional level. You may have a few slip-ups, but if you are willing to acknowledge the problem and take steps to fix it, rest assured that you'll adjust over time.

Procrastination harms your productivity, your self-esteem, and your standing with others. But once you get in the habit of being proactive, showing up on time, and refusing to put things off when you could finish them right away, you'll start to feel more effective and empowered. Then the thought of not getting things done will start to feel strange to you.

You might be the kind of person who has put things off until the last minute your whole life, constantly running late from one task, meeting, or appointment to the next. Now is the perfect time to make a change. Don't put this improvement off until later - you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel, and how much more seriously others will take you once you become the kind of person who doesn't procrastinate.

Source

ABCs of Stress Management

The ABCs of Stress Management Is Awareness, Balance and Control.

Stress is created when external or internal demands made on an individual are in excess of his coping strategies and capabilities. Let us illustrate how physical stress is formed. If you are asked to pick up a glass of water and place it on the table it is not stressful. If you are asked to pick up the glass of water and fill it to the brim without dropping any water outside, it is mildly stressful. If you are asked to hold that full glass of water for two hours without dropping any water, you will get totally stressed out.

Awareness

How stressed are you? Do you feel that you have absolutely no worries and stress in the world? Then you are lucky indeed to be part of the minority of the population today. For most of us stress plays an important part of our daily lives. It disrupts our energy levels, affects our performance and can be a huge drain on our resources. Becoming aware that one is experiencing stress is also difficult as people have got used to being under fire from all sides. It is not a natural state and will affect the health of a person in the longterm.

Balance

Once you are aware of the fact that you get stressed in certain situations, what do you do next? It is now time to manage stress levels better. Keep yourself primed for action without the accompanying tension. This can be accomplished by ensuring that you balance out the stress you are feeling in a certain situation in an optimum manner. You can avoid or modify certain stressors right away on your own. Other stressors may need some contribution from outside influences. The idea is to get hold of the problematic stressors and neutralize them.

Control

Here the idea is not to control the stress. Instead it is to control your own reaction to them. By directing one's own actions and thoughts it is possible to stay in a positive frame of mind. This defeats the stress and allows you a measure of self responsibility and control. A good night's rest is often one of the best ways to control stress. It is easier to deal with issues when you are well fed, well rested and healthy. So make sure that you actively look after your physical body and stress will begin to disappear.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

5 Ways to Recover From Terrible Failure

Failure can cause one to lose confidence and motivation. Failure can sometimes wreck havoc on our emotions and make us feel depressed. What is worse is that after failing most of us do not always wish to try again because of the negative emotions that we feel. Failure makes us avoid trying again. This can happen on a conscious and unconscious level. It is thus important that you manage what you perceive as failure well in your life to ensure that failure doesn't affect you on an unconscious level and affect your future performance as you try and achieve your goals. Some of the emotions that we experience that affect our ability to take action to create the outcomes that we seek are due to past failures. These emotions may include fear, self-doubt and a lack of confidence.

I have developed a few ways that you can use in your life to recover from failure and heal yourself so that your past failures do not affect your future performance. Here they are:

1. Manage emotions using acceptance

What we perceive as failure can cause us to have a lot of emotional strain. We may experience emotions ranging from anger to sadness and resentment depending on what the situation is. After failing it is not always possible to keep these emotions from affecting us. To recover from failure and keep these emotions under control you need to use acceptance. You need to accept that things did not go well and that there might be consequences to be dealt with from whatever that has happened. Depending on the situation, consequences as the result of failure might vary -; you might be criticised, you might be held accountable, you might have lost money, you might lose your self-confidence, you might lose your job or business. Whatever it is and whatever the consequences are, drive yourself towards acceptance because this is the only way in which you will better find creative solutions to the challenges that you might be facing. It is tempting when we face challenges to dwell on the emotional pain, to think and go over what ifs but ultimately we have no choice but to make decisions and act if we are to change our circumstances.

2. View failure as an isolated incident not an inclusive incident

In our lives sometimes we have what I call "cross contamination". When one area of our lives isn't working as well we wish it could, the unhappiness and emotional strain that we experience from the area which isn't working well gets carried across other areas of our lives. We begin to feel like nothing else in our lives is working. Cross contamination causes us to carry emotional strain from work or business to our family lives and ultimately to our health and well being. The opposite can happen as emotional strain from our family lives can sometimes extend to our workplace and ultimately our well being depending on how we respond to the problems that we face.

You need to view the specific failure that you are recovering from as an isolated incident in order to stop this from straining other areas in your life. This is not easy to do as sometimes having a bad day at work can mean a bad evening with the family or vice versa. However, if you learn to better manage your emotions and isolate problems in various areas of your life, you might be in a better position to prevent emotional strain from one area of your life to cross contaminate all other areas of your life. This can only be done through improved self-awareness and emotional discipline.

Sometimes failing in a specific area can make you feel as if you failing at everything. You need to be aware that failure in a specific area in your life doesn't mean that you will fail on every other area. So see each failure as specific and not inclusive.

3. View failure as feedback from your specific actions

After following step 1 and 2 above you should begin to be in a better emotional state to think constructively about what went wrong and what has not worked well to cause the outcomes that you did not want. With this improved emotional state you should now use failure as a learning by analyzing what really went wrong and what actions you could have taken to improve your results. Most failures are due to a lack of planning, processes that did not work well, unforeseen circumstances, failure to be pro-active and so on. This is now time for you to diagnose what didn't work with clear emotions and an open mind. So assess what went wrong and identify things that need to be improved for you to create better results in the future.

4. Commit to new actions

After diagnosing your failure and receiving feedback from it you need to commit yourself to new actions in order to fully recover from your failure. Ask yourself what you will do and no longer do as a result of the feedback you received from your failure then commit yourself to new resolutions. You can list things you will do such as early planning, better communication, improve processes etc. Listing things that you will no longer do that might have caused you to fail is as important. So also list things that you will not do in the future such as procrastinating, avoiding administrative work, communicating poorly and so on.

What is important to note is that committing to new actions will also give you an emotional boost and hope. Often when we are in distress just thinking of the next practical step to take is enough to help us have hope for better future results.

5. Remember your past successes

Remembering things you did well in the past can help you gather strength to recover from immediate failure. Have things worked well in the past? Is there historical performance that you can look to and be proud of? if so, list these great achievements and performances and make them more prominent in your mind. Remember how you felt when things worked well and rekindle these feelings to gather strength to overcome present challenges. This will help you regain your self-confidence as you plan how to better deal with the future.

Imagine what your life would be like if you had self-confidence and did not hesitate to act and create all the outcomes that you want in life. Picture yourself believing in yourself and becoming exactly who you want to be. A successful man or woman who is happy doing things that he or she loves and has great relationships. No more would you have to suffer from second guessing yourself and taking the back seat, criticizing yourself or enduring the pain of those that criticize you and do not appreciate you...

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

9 Reasons To Be Addicted To Confidence

It has been said time and again that no one in the entire world will ever love you more than you love yourself. These were not the ravings of some self-absorbed lost soul. They were the wise words of someone that realized that in life, the most attractive and intriguing aspect of a person is their self-confidence and degree of self-worth.

Self-confidence is simply put, believing in yourself. Believing that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Believing that you are alive and have existed for a reason. Believing that you deserve to be happy and blessed in life. All these are small rocks of this mountain called self-confidence.

Once someone achieves self-confidence, they feel a rush that can be compared to getting high or intoxicated. Like someone high on drugs, a self-confident person feels that they can do anything. The feeling can be addictive. The good thing about this addiction is that it has no harmful side effects on your body. Below are nine reasons why you should strive to be addicted to confidence.

1. It has actual health benefits

Healthy bodies are what keep us in existence and this is why it lands the number one spot in the list of 9 reasons to be addicted to confidence. Being confident is essentially ridding your body and mind of fear. In so doing, the amounts of adrenaline and other stress hormones in the body are considerably reduced. This helps keep the brain clear and healthy allowing you to work.

2. It helps you socialize and network

Self-confidence allows you to be yourself without any pretense. This is because self-confidence comes with a sense of security that prevents one from feeling the need to be or act like someone they are not. This benefit of being addicted to confidence goes a long way into building and maintaining meaningful social and business relationships.

3. It helps you accomplish your goals

We all have dreams and ambitions that we one day hope to achieve. However, nothing good comes easy. Self-confidence is a useful tool in chasing your dreams. It gives you the courage to actively and bravely face any obstacles. This is because self-confidence is believing in yourself and your abilities. This makes the third out of nine reasons to be addicted to confidence.

4. It allows you to love and appreciate others

Reason number four to be addicted to confidence is to be able to appreciate others. Confidence eliminates insecurities. A person who feels good about themselves is more likely to open up to other people genuinely and appreciate their characters and opinion. Lack of confidence is accompanied by insecurities which when projected onto others clouds a person's judgment about them.

5. It rubs off on people you interact with

Confidence does not only mimic drugs but also infectious diseases. Being confident and having a feeling of sufficient self-worth is contagious and can rub off on people you come into contact with. The air of freedom and being content is attractive to many and may draw others to also being self-confident. This ripple effect is another one of the nine reasons to become addicted to confidence.

6. It allows you to be useful to the society

A self-confident person is usually more productive in society than one who isn't. Confidence allows one to work well with others and contribute freely without fear. This is of great value to any social institution from marriage to large organizations.

7. It increases the quality of your work

Another reason to be addicted to confidence is that it is a natural performance enhancer. This applies to both manual and mental activities. A person works better when they believe in themselves with little or no doubts. Confidence also encourages innovation and creative thinking which are all useful during work.

8. It opens you up to new opportunities and possibilities

Being confident pushes one toward being open minded and receptive to new ideas. Therefore, a confident person has more possibilities and opportunities to explore.

9. It makes and keeps you happy

Finally, being addicted to confidence makes one happy. This is because being confident eliminates or at the very least minimizes fear and insecurities leaving one free to be happy and enjoy life.

These 9 reasons to be addicted to confidence are just a few as it is a state with numerous untold advantages. One should however be careful not to overindulge as like any other addiction, too much is dangerous.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

Get Self Confidence in 5 Steps

It is important to be confident. Being confident, means to be secure in who you are and being certain in the decisions you make. Being confident in your abilities means that you are positive about yourself and it is this self confidence that make other people have trust on you. More sure you are about your skills, will make other people have more confidence on you. Self confidence goes a long way. From seeing everything in positive light, self confidence helps in career as well as life opportunities.

Every person is not born with the skill of self confidence but it is ability that can be groomed with a little dedication. Here are 5 pointers for boosting your confidence in yourself:

Concentrate on Positivity

Revaluate your life and take a break from the people who take you and your self confidence to a low. Try focusing on the solutions rather than the problems. Even if there is nothing going right, keep in mind that one day it will. Stay positive and concentrate on the silver lining in the dark clouds. It's your life and to enjoy it you have to stay positive and let go of negativity and negative people around you. Remember that after every rainy day, sun comes out.

Change in Body Language

It is said that people takes more cues from non-verbal language that is body language rather than verbal language. It is very necessary to have a good and agreeable body posture that shows your confidence. The straightforward task of pulling shoulders back provides a sense of confidence to you and lets other person see that you have confidence in your own abilities. Smiling and maintaining eye contact makes the other person comfortable around you.

Never Accept Failure

Don't accept failure and never give up. The act of accepting the failure shows that you can be easily defeated by your defeats and have no confidence in yourself. Follow the old saying of "Try and Try again and Never Quit". More you get challenged by a particular problem work hard and make sure that you try and complete the task. If you are continuously knocking yourself down with your negative thoughts, you are becoming what you are sermonizing within your head. Next time you think negatively, substitute it straight away for a positive assertion.

Always Be Prepared

Whether you go out for a job interview or you are working on a new project, learn to be always prepared. Discover everything, there is to know about your line of work, work, projects and more. Whatever maybe on your "to conquer" list, it is important that you always be prepared for all the setbacks and triumphs. If you are geared up, and have the skill to back it up, your self confidence will rise.

Create Accomplishment List

Life is full of trials and there are times when it's hard to keep our self confidence up. In those times, sit down and make a list of all the points in your life that you are thankful for and list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, keep them by your desk and always be reminded of what a marvelous life you have and what an incredible person you really are.

With these five steps, you can boost your self confidence and turn a new page of your life. Remember have trust in your abilities and your self confidence will show.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

Don't Be Shy - Boost Your Confidence Before Giving Your Presentation

Have you ever been in a situation where you've given a speech, a presentation or a meeting update and it hasn't flowed as well as you would have liked? You're hesitant the next time you're about to present? If you're feeling uncertain about an up and coming event (such as a meeting, speech or presentation) check out these 10 pre-event confidence-boosting questions and see if answering them makes the difference:

1. Are you certain of your core message, point or outcome? If not establish what this is from the outset and allow everything else to flow from it

2. Have you prepared well enough for the event? If not what else can you do to prepare?

3. Does what you're doing make sense to you? Does it sit well with your values and principles? Just how important is it to you? How can you raise its importance in your mind?

4. What is your relationship with the people around you? Are there any issues here? How will this impact on your delivery? How can you modify your thoughts, feelings and behaviour to address the issues?

5. How can you ensure you express yourself clearly and well? (If you're certain of your core message and you're well prepared it should be much easier to state your case clearly and with conviction). Can you draw on a similar situation when things went well? What is the difference between how you felt then and how you feel now? Why is this?

6. What kind of material do you have? Is it clear and simple to understand for the visual, audio and kinaesthetic among your audience? Can you improve, simplify or clarify it?

7. Have you anticipated any tricky questions that may come up, and prepared responses to them?

8. What are you saying and thinking to yourself about the event? If you're telling yourself how badly it's going to go that's exactly what you risk manifesting

9. Have you looked at the situation from the vantage point of each person who will be at that event? What questions or issues arise when you do this? Can you deal with any of them in advance? If so how?

10. What other messages are being communicated to you from this uncertainty? What do you need to do to quell them?

Answering these questions should go some way to increasing your confidence and ensuring you are well prepared for your event.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

3 Smart Tips for Stopping Your Need to Try to Change People and Reduce Your Stress

People basically are what they are. A grouchy person will usually remain grouchy. A person with a very loud annoying laugh will always be loud. A person who is a pushover or who is afraid to stand up for themselves will stay that way. In addition, a tacky commenting person will not change the way they talk. Here is how to stop trying to change people and reduce your own stress in the process.

First: If any change is going to happen, it has to come from you. This may sound like you have to give in to rude people, but you are not, you are actually controlling the situation and increasing your levels of calm. You need to change your belief that you can make someone change their behaviour into something they are not. If the behaviour is something that is unique to them and can be overlooked as a part of their individuality, then let it go and like them anyway. Being more tolerant of little things makes you understand human nature better. In addition, allows you to grow as a person. Miraculous influences do occasionally happen, but mostly in the movies or in those reality shows that are written to shock you. So stop agonising over a failure to mold someone into your ideal.

Second: After changing your belief, start changing your ideas of what a friend should be like. Think about the qualities you would like in a friend and then emulate those qualities yourself. You will attract like-minded people to you and your social circle will change to reflect your new friends. Remember to be kind to yourself, no one else will, because no one knows you like you do.

Third: You will find that your stress levels will decrease and a strong powerful calmness will come over you. People will feel this and gravitate to you. You will make yourself happy by associating with people you truly feel good around.

Accept those who will never quite make you feel comfortable to be with. They will always be that way. Do not waste your precious time and energy with behaviours that drag you down emotionally. Change that comes from within you generates energy and reduces your stress and builds strong healthy relationships. Those people who have behaviours that stress others and make people uncomfortable will have their own circle of friends. Remember the old saying "misery loves company". People only change a bad habit or behaviour only when they want to for their own reasons, whether it is selfish or not.

Being a person who is willing to connect with positive growing people will reduce your stress in a natural way.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

How To Overcome Your Fears, Get Unstuck, And Fuel Your Success

What scares you? Learning how to overcome fears of failure can be challenging for everyone.

Fortunately, all fears are learned. No one is born with fears. Fears can therefore, be unlearned by practicing self-discipline repeatedly with regard to fear until it goes away.

The most common fears that we experience, which often sabotage all hope for success, are the fear of failure, poverty, and loss of money.

These fears cause people to avoid risk of any kind and to reject opportunity when it is presented to them. They are so afraid of failure that they are almost paralyzed when it comes to taking any chances at all.

There are many other fears that interfere with our happiness.
People fear the loss of love or
People fear the loss of their jobs and their financial security.
People fear embarrassment or ridicule.
People fear rejection and criticism of any kind.
People fear the loss of respect or esteem of others.

These and many other fears hold us back throughout life…

Here are a few techniques to help you overcome your fears and fuel your success:
Fear Paralyzes Action

The most common reaction in a fear situation is the attitude of, “I can’t!”

This is the fear of failure that stops us from taking action. It is experienced physically, starting in the pit of your stomach.

When people are really afraid, their mouth and throat go dry, their heart starts pounding. Sometimes they breathe shallowly and their stomach churns.

These are all physical manifestations of the inhibitive negative habit pattern, which we all experience from time to time.
Fear Shuts Our Brain Down

Whenever a person is in the grip of fear, he feels like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. This fear paralyzes action. It often shuts down the brain and causes the individual to revert to the “fight-or-flight” reaction.

Fear is a terrible emotion that undermines our happiness and can hold us back throughout our lives.
Visualize Yourself As Unafraid

By visualizing yourself performing with confidence and competence in an area where you are fearful, your visual image will eventually be accepted by your subconscious mind as instructions for your performance.

Your self-image, the way you see yourself and think about yourself, is eventually altered by feeding your mind these positive mental pictures of yourself performing at your best.
Practice Acting “As If”

By using the “act as if” method, you walk, talk, and carry yourself exactly as you would if you were completely unafraid in a particular situation.

You stand up straight, smile, move quickly and confidently, and in every respect act as if you already had the courage that you desire.
Use The Law Of Reversibility

The Law of Reversibility says that “If you feel a certain way, you will act in a manner consistent with that feeling.”

But if you act in a manner consistent with that feeling, even if you don’t feel it, the Law of Reversibility will create the feeling that is consistent with your actions.

This is one of the greatest breakthroughs in success psychology. You develop the courage you desire by disciplining yourself repeatedly to do the thing you fear until that fear eventually disappears—and it will.
Confront Your Fears Immediately

Your ability to confront, deal with, and act in spite of your fears is the key to happiness and success.

One of the best exercises you can practice is to identify a person or situation in your life of which you are afraid and resolve to deal with that fear situation immediately.

Do not allow it to make you unhappy for another minute. Resolve to confront the situation or person and put the fear behind you.
Move Toward The Fear

When you identify a fear and discipline yourself to move toward it, it grows smaller and more manageable.

What’s more, as your fears grow smaller, your confidence grows. Soon, your fears lose their control over you.

In contrast, when you back away from a fear-inducing situation or person, your fear grows larger and larger.

Soon it dominates your thinking and feeling, preoccupies you during the day, and often keeps you awake at night.
Deal With The Fear Directly

The only way to deal with a fear is to address it head-on.

Remind yourself that, “Denial” is not a river in Egypt.

The natural tendency of many people is to deny that they have a problem caused by fear of some kind. They’re afraid of confronting it. In turn, it becomes a major source of stress, unhappiness, and psychosomatic illness.

Be willing to deal with the situation or person directly.

As Shakespeare said, “Take arms against a sea of troubles, and in so doing, end them.”

When you force yourself to face any fear-inducing situation in your life, your self-esteem goes up, your self-respect increases, and your sense of personal pride grows.

You eventually reach the point in life where you are not afraid of anything.

We'd love to meet you. Why not join our FREE private Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

6 Tricks to Overcoming Social Anxiety & Taking Back Your Life

Everyone, even the most confident person you know, is nervous or anxious in new social situations. After all, humans are social creatures designed to rely on the acceptance of each other.

We all want to fit in; we all want to be well-liked. When we feel that acceptance is threatened, we get nervous and worried. This is a human reaction. It’s completely normal to fear rejection or making a fool of yourself.

However, in recent years, we’ve been hearing more and more about social anxiety, which reaches beyond these normal levels of social nervousness.

In other words, it’s more than a fear of public speaking or constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing at a party.



How to Start Overcoming Social Anxiety

These are common experiences, and while you may feel more anxious about these events than others do, it doesn’t stop you from giving the presentation or attending the party.

True social anxiety interferes with your life in significant ways, derailing your ability to interact and pushing you into deep isolation.

If you suspect that you’re dealing with social anxiety, there are tools at your disposal, but you may also want the support of a professional who can help you design an effective and personalized plan to deal with your anxiety.

But whether your anxiety is severe or mild, there are many tactics you can adopt to help with overcoming social anxiety and be as social as you desire:


1. Remember that Anxiety Isn’t Reality

Your worries are just that, worries.

The situations you’re imagining haven’t actually come true; they exist only in your mind. When you start to panic, remind yourself of this and take a few deep breaths. Just because it could happen doesn’t mean that it will happen.

Embracing reality is always a good antidote to catastrophizing.


2. Play the “What If?” Game
Since you’re already imagining the worst-case scenario, go with it. What if the worst actually happens and you embarrass yourself and your entire family and, for that matter, everyone you’ve ever met?

Then what?
Well, you’ll be embarrassed, right? Then what?
You’ll probably want to go home and never show your face again. Then what?
You’ll cry yourself to sleep. Then what?
You’ll wake up the next morning and feel embarrassed all over again. Then what?
You’ll go to work or school because you have to. Then what?


The point is, by walking yourself through the entire series of worst scenario events, you can provide yourself with evidence that life will go on, that social embarrassment can’t actually kill you.

It will be unpleasant, but the earth will continue to spin. Facing your fears and their potential consequences is a good way to thwart the threat of the unknown, stealing its power to ruin a potentially great day.


3. Face Your Fears

While these are good steps to take ahead of time, in the end, if you want to take control of your anxiety, you have to actually enter the situation you’re dreading.

Though you’re certain it won’t go well, do it anyway.

Sometimes, we just have to do the thing we’re afraid of to prove to ourselves that we can. While you may not magically turn into a social butterfly, even standing awkwardly in a corner with a smile on your face and a few well-timed, “mm-hmms”is a win.

Survive and you can walk out of there at the end of the night with the knowledge that you bravely did something difficult. That’s always a good feeling. In the face of anxiety, survival is worth soaking in and acknowledging.

Allow it to sink in and build your confidence.


4. Rely on Your Wingman

Though it may be difficult to believe, some people are good at small talk.

On occasion, it’s perfectly okay for you to attach yourself to a friend who has such a talent. Not only will this friend act as a buffer for you, but you will also have the happy accident of watching them in action.

Take advantage of this.

While you stand casually at his or her side, take mental notes on the topics of conversation, the innocuous questions, the relaxed posture.

These things may come naturally for your friend, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t study, learn, and incorporate them.


5. Change Your Focus
Let’s say you find yourself at a party and you feel the panic starting to overwhelm you. Maybe your hands are shaking or your mind is whirring a mile a minute, but you still can’t think of a thing to say.

If this happens, position yourself as a listener and find something in the room that you can focus on.

Perhaps it’s a painting on the wall. Focus on the colors or the scenery.

Consider who the artist might be or why they painted this particular scene. Or maybe you can spend five or ten minutes wondering if the blonde across the way is a natural blonde, or just a really good dye job.

Whatever it is, taking your mind off yourself is an effective way to distract yourself from your overwhelming anxiety and panic. Once you feel more steady, you’ll be ready to reenter the conversation or situation.


6. Remember that You Win Some, You Lose Some

There will be times when it all goes much better than you expected.

There will also be times when you stumble through a slightly embarrassing evening.

You’re not alone.

Everyone, even the people you’d never suspect, have experienced the same up and down rhythm of social success. In all likelihood, however, it won’t ever be as bad as you expect.

The good news is that true social anxiety is pretty rare. If you’re an introvert who doesn’t like crowds, or if you struggle with generalized anxiety, you can still find your way in challenging social situations.


Summary

Even if you do suffer from severe social anxiety, there is hope. With some effort on your part and the right support, social anxiety can be overcome.

The important thing to remember is that even if anxiety is a common occurrence in your life, you can still be a good friend. You can show up and you can even enjoy yourself. Make a plan, do the work and get out there!

Source

Goals: 3 Simple Steps to Goal Attainment

Setting goals is the beginning of goal attainment. Dreaming feels good but at some point, you have to decide and follow through with making your dreams your reality. Follow these 3 steps to your goal attainment celebration.

First, understand why goal setting is important. By setting goals, you have a clear blueprint to take you from where you are now to where you want to be. A blueprint serves as a detailed roadmap including precise steps that must be followed, in sequence, in order to move from vision to actuality. Goal setting creates order and allows for realistic assessment. You can not move from dreaming about flying a plane to being a pilot without research, training and practice. All 3 steps are relevant and necessary and must be followed in sequential order.

Secondly, set short-term goals, due tomorrow or next week; set midterm goals, due in 6 months or in 1 year; and set long-term goals, due in 5 years or as appropriate for you particular goal. The series of miniature tasks all lead to fulfillment of that ultimate target. This will help you identify what you need to do to make steady progress towards your ultimate goal. A short-term goal that is due tomorrow can include making phone calls to known experts or carving out 2 hours for internet research on your specific topic. A midterm goal that is due in several months can include completion of a continuing education course to increase your knowledge. A long-term goal due in 5 years can include international travel or formal education.

Third, focus on the long-term objective with the end in mind. Work your way through the small action items that will bring you closer to the bigger than life goal that you may find hard to imagine attaining today. Each week, set a short-term action for yourself that will lead you to your midterm goal that may take 6 months or more to achieve. Each month, access your short-term goal progress, make modifications and recommit to attain midterm goals by the due date you set for yourself in the near future. By achieving smaller goals leading to your large goal, you will build confidence and be encouraged to keep going.

Now that you have a plan for achieving your goals, begin to visualize what your life will look like once you attain your long-term goals. Imagine your celebration, big or small. Reassure yourself that you deserve to have it. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and encourage you sincerely and frequently.

Source 

5 Ways to Start Winning

Getting up and getting things done on a daily basis—making your mark on this world—only happens when you commit to clearing the thousand hurdles that rise up to greet you from the time you roll out of bed in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. Even the little things—no, especially the little things—conspire against our victories. So, how do we business owners improve our odds? What steps can we take to limit those stumbling blocks called losses that eat into our hard-won winnings?

Because we are winners.

Before getting into the what-to-do, it’s important for you to understand that, when it comes to winning, your brain has the home field advantage. What you feed it and how you treat it will directly affect your win-loss ratio.

“Your aim should be to work on yourself and your thinking until you reach the point where you absolutely, positively believe yourself to be a total winner in anything you sincerely want to accomplish,” writes Brian Tracy, who has been studying the success habits of successful people for over four decades.

Tracy adds: “When you feel unshakable confidence in yourself and your abilities, nothing will be able to stop you. This state of self-confidence comes from (1) understanding the functioning of your remarkable mind, and (2) practicing the techniques of mental fitness over and over, until you become a completely optimistic, cheerful, and positive person.”

You’ve seen this in action: the effect a rousing half-time speech can have on the outcome of a game; or, that top sales rep you know who enters every sales presentation assuming the close. Somehow she always exceeds her monthly quota, doesn’t she?

Other experts who study human performance agree that it’s the mental aspect that largely determines the quality of our performance, often coming down to a question of confidence, composure and focus.

According to an article in The Washington Post, which drew on the insights of Chris Carr, an Indianapolis sports psychologist who has worked with many Olympians and professional athletes over the past 20+ years, there are a few key strategies you can implement to boost your wins and perform your best:

1. Set Attainable Goal

By setting a reachable goal, you can quickly determine what must happen each day in order to achieve it. A sales rep, for example, might say, “I want to increase my sales 50% by the end of this quarter.” He would then break it down to the number of sales required on a daily basis to achieve that objective. From there, he would determine specifically what needs to be done in terms of generating leads, setting appointments, making presentations, asking for referrals, etc. to reach his goal. Sticking with a workable plan will make you more confident in the outcome.

2. See Your Success
To continue with the sales rep example, if your goal is to increase sales 50% by the end of the quarter, you should imagine yourself going through the various stages of the process: cheerfully increasing your canvassing efforts, successfully scheduling more appointments, giving stellar presentations, effortlessly attracting referral business, seeing your name at the top of sales rankings for the quarter, basking in the admiration of management and your fellow reps. Re-playing this movie over and over in your head will make it real in your mind, and success will seem within reach.

3. Create a Mental Checklist
Know what you need to do ahead of time in order to perform your best. Maybe before you start cold calling, you clear your desk of everything but the phone and your calendar. Or, maybe before you begin your presentation you say to yourself, “This is my best presentation. I will articulate my product’s value to my client, and I will upsell this account three times over the next year.” By repeating this statement to yourself prior to every sales presentation, you will internalize its message and it will automatically focus you in the moment.

4. Overcome Nervous Energy

The best way to relax on command is to practice relaxing. It may sound silly, but activities like meditation, deep breathing and listening to soothing music can help offset the rush of adrenaline we experience before an important event, such as a key sales presentation. If you learn to anticipate the surge—and have established techniques that enable you to relax on command—you can manage nervous energy to your advantage by channeling it into things like increased focus, more controlled pacing, etc.

5. Be the Voice inside Your Head

The idea here is to develop your own trigger words or phrases, things you can say to yourself during your performance that will instantly focus your mind on the task at hand. A sales rep, for example, might say, “Problem solver,” or “Consultative approach” to reinforce and focus her mindset in the moment. You don’t need to overthink it. Any word or short phrase that eliminates distractions will do the trick.

By implementing these strategies you can vastly improve your performance in any area of your life, converting losses into wins in the process.

Source

How You Can Succeed like Others Who Have Succeeded

We can easily be intimidated by successful individuals; their wealth and achievements seem unattainable, and their personality appears to be unique. It can also be discouraging to know that there is a big gap between you and some of the distinguished people in your industry.

You might even question whether you have the ability to replicate that success or if you can ever reach those levels to begin with. You should not be discouraged by the seemingly distant success of others. Instead, consider these tips to help you achieve success in your own right:
Be Yourself

It may sound contradictory, but if you want to succeed like the people who have achieved massive success in your industry and inspired you so much, you need to be nothing like them. Well, almost.

To succeed in just about any field, whether it’s sports, arts or business, you need to be yourself and avoid imitating anybody who has already made it. Replicas will never have the same credibility as the originals.

If you imitate others, sooner or later, you’ll be found out. And once you’ve lost credibility, it can be very difficult to gain it back. Let’s look at the arts, for example. How many tribute acts do you know that are more successful than the musical icons that they imitate? The answer is probably zero. That’s because audiences can see through the frailty of imitation. On the other hand, a lot of new artists are still able to break through the market and become massive successes—imitation free.
My Early Years

When I started out in this industry, there was a huge gulf between me and those who I saw on stage when attending events. They had all the charisma and personality that seemed to come naturally with top-earners. I, on the other hand, was a shy young man. I kept asking myself, “Do I have to be like them in order to succeed?”

In those early years, I was trying to be something or someone I wasn’t. I was trying to be the typical internet marketing guru with all the trimmings. It was forced, unnatural, and quite evidently, awful. But with time came experience. In early 2013, I decided to “be myself” and stopped trying to be what I thought was the blueprint for a successful internet marketer.

I subsequently got good feedback from audiences who liked my honest and forthright approach. I was transparent and true to myself. This gave me a lot of confidence and the rest, as they say, is history.
Communicate with Conviction

If you want to succeed in business, you need to clearly communicate with your audience. While keeping your voice and individuality is extremely important, keep in mind that you should have conviction along with a conversational and friendly tone when talking to your customers or clients.

I personally believe that it’s effective to talk to your prospects during training or seminars like you would your niece or nephew. You can be friendly and personal while remaining authoritative and educative. Remember, you will only succeed in this business if you portray a position of value.

Communicating with your audience in this manner can come in the form of:
Writing (having an authoritative, engaging, personal and friendly tone.)
Video (confidently speaking to your audience, yet remaining “watchable.”)

It’s important to show your personality in videos and be authentic because your audience will be more inclined to connect with you if they see the person behind the words. A Forbes study found that 75 percent of executives watch work-related video content on business websites at least once a week. And out of those, 65 percent of them said they visit the marketer’s website after watching the video.

If you copy someone else’s technique or personality, it’s highly unlikely that the 65 percent will follow and connect with you.
Conclusion

If you think that you can only succeed in business by imitating industry leaders, you need to remember one important piece of advice: There will always be a segment of the market that will resonate with what you have to offer. Just as you resonated with the industry leaders that inspire you, there will be others who connect with and are inspired by who you are and what you do.

Source