Do You Sabotage Your Own Efforts?

I'm sure that many of us have experienced a point in our lives where we've became aware of the need to start making some positive changes. We may feel ready to commit to formal New Year's Resolutions or simply say 'today's the time to focus on spring cleaning our habits, friends, relationships and ultimately our lives'.

Yet how often do those goals and important objectives quickly become sabotaged and hi-hacked? We may not fully appreciate why it's happening but unconscious resistance can interfere with our desire to break out of old habits and behaviour patterns.

It can be interesting to look at those occasions:

- Many of us will be able to recall a time when we were determined to address our eating or drinking habits and make healthier choices. Before too long we were making excuses to regularly visit the supermarket to buy one or two items that we suddenly needed urgently, had unexpectedly run out of or had accidentally forgotten.

These are great examples of how we sabotage our efforts by convincing ourselves that we're 'just' popping to the shops to buy those urgent supplies, the bread or milk. We tell ourselves that we'll only be a few minutes, insist that we'll limit ourselves to those specific aisles, but then find ourselves wandering along the other lanes 'just in case' we see something else we need. Often the temptation can become so strong that we end up buying chocolates, a bottle of wine or something that we really shouldn't. Deep down though we knew we'd succumb!

- Or it may be that we choose to implement a fitness regime with a friend or colleague who we unconsciously suspect is not fully committed. There may be a part of us that acknowledges we need to go regularly to the gym, run a marathon or commit to a health objective but in reality we're less than enthusiastic. Choosing to workout with someone who is less motivated than ourselves can bring a much easier going, less tenacious approach. Then if the plan fails after a week or so we can blame someone else, excuse ourselves far more easily, shrug our shoulders and feel vindicated.

- What about if a relationship's floundering? Maybe there's an estrangement which could go either way and we feel quite stressed and want to ensure that our position is fully understood. We know that texting, when we need to communicate information, is an efficient, concise, documented way of communicating, but struggle to hold ourselves back from being more hands on and pushing for a more interactive involvement. The problem is that entails talking to the other person.

We may tell ourselves that we hate texting; it's far quicker and more efficient to phone with our message. But if we're at a sensitive stage in the relationship we may know deep down that we're putting ourselves in a vulnerable place when we contact them via the phone. Typically we know that we'll end up asking questions, explaining ourselves in painstaking detail or going through the arguments and grievances yet again.

It can be more sensible to limit ourselves through the use of text. It's important to hold onto the knowledge that it's in our best interests to resist the temptation to phone and avoid inflaming the situation even further.

In any of these instances, be aware of what the underlying sub-text is if you frequently find yourself missing out on completing your objectives, especially ones that you feel would significantly benefit your life. And accept that it may be beneficial to enlist help if you find this repeating pattern too difficult to break on your own. Learn to pay attention to what happens when you become distracted and veer off course. Listen to what your thought patterns and feelings are saying. Intercept them and deal with the information.

It may be that you're not really committed to losing weight, getting fit or letting go of the relationship just yet. Discover where you're at; only then can you ascertain what would motivate and work for you. That way you're less likely to sabotage your efforts and goals.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Motivation Vs Inspiration

Although many people often confuse inspiration with motivation, they are two VERY different things. In order for us to do anything, we need to be motivated. Whether it is getting up from bed in the morning, doing our daily chores, or pursuing a lifelong dream, if there is no motivation we would not do it.

There are two types of Motivation: External motivation and Internal Motivation. When we say motivation in the normal sense, what we mean is External motivation. An external push that we require to do something that we may or may not care about.

On the other hand there is Internal Motivation which is also referred to as Inspiration. This kind of motivation comes from deep within ourselves and is not dependent on any external physical expression. When you are in this place of inspiration you are naturally drawn to do whatever feels best. In order for us to achieve our goals and move steadily forward on our chosen paths we need to be driven from inside rather than outside, therefore this means that the goals that we set have to be INSPIRED goals. one of the fastest roads to inspiration is motivation.

There are two types of Inspiration: Passive and Active. Replicating or building on the success and ideas of others is Passive inspiration, whereas, the act of CREATING things, pursuing new ideas, goals and ambitions is Active inspiration.

Motivation is related to the inspiration that increases the eagerness or willingness to do something. Inspiration is the process by which the mental stimulation takes place. It makes one WANT to do or feel something.

Starting to make sense?

Motivation relies on tenacity, determination and drive, but Inspiration comes from some place inside you that is profoundly touched in some way. The word inspire means "in spirit," which pretty much sums it up. When you're inspired to do something, you're more in the spirit of doing it. There's something more than determination driving you. It's more like you were actually "destined" to do it.

Websters online dictionary defines both Inspiration and Motivation as follows:

in·spi·ra·tion: something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create.

mo·ti·va·tion: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something.

In looking at the two definitions, it is clear that inspiration is more of a person reaching a point of wanting to act. There is a true DESIRE to achieve a goal or dream, they are "compelled", whereas, motivation is more of giving people reasons to act.

In short, Inspiration is the "spark" that originates within, and Motivation is the "fuel" that causes the spark to grow into a flame.

EVERYONE is indwelt with dreams & ideas known only to themselves, YOU carry those dreams & ideas. Your feelings are indicators that let you know when it's time to bring the spark forth that will grow into the flame.

"As life takes us up and moves us around, our purposes expand, our priorities shift, our search continues for what is ours to do" 

- Carol Adrienne

Be Inspired, Be Motivated, it's time to share that spark with the rest of the world!

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How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going,” – Beverly Sills

Have you ever been in so much pain that you just felt like giving up?

I have. A few months ago, while competing in a trail run, I ended up completely lost. A group of us had missed a trail marker and gone down the wrong path for a whole extra mile.

The race was only four miles.

Before taking the wrong turn, I had been in first place. It was demoralizing to have worked so hard only to find out that I was going in the wrong direction. I was scared that I would lose the race I had trained so hard for.

Despite the fear, I knew I had to accept my mistake and turn around. I started running as fast as I could in the opposite direction. The rest of my group kept going, hoping that they would find the trail again soon.

Even though I was tired, I knew why I was there. A friend of mine was recovering from a traumatic brain injury. I was racing to win money for his rehabilitation.

One by one, I passed people, praying that I had enough time left to gain ground.

Ultimately, I ended up making up for my lost time and winning the race. If I hadn’t been able to stay in the moment and ignore the sunk cost of my mistake, it would have been impossible to come back from behind.

Sometimes life is uncomfortable. But even worse than feeling uncomfortable is feeling nothing. Flatlining.

Coincidentally, the things that make us most uncomfortable in life are also usually the most worth it.

From this experience I’ve learned a few things about how to keep going when you feel like giving up.



Why Persevere?
The majority of entrepreneurs fail not because they don’t have enough talent, skill, or good ideas. They fail because they stop too early.

Most bloggers burn out before they ever see the dramatic spike in traffic that they would need to build an audience.

It’s hard to go against the grain. To take your own path. And it’s even harder to continue down that path until it leads somewhere you want to go.

But there is a power in being deliberate. In making a decision to do something and committing to it completely. In seeing that path through no matter what.

Here are three ways to make it out of the woods:

1. Admit You Are Human

We often feel like quitting because we are afraid to fail. We want to go out on our own terms, so we compound our doubt with disappointment in ourselves.

This is a stupid strategy, and it only makes things worse.

The first step when you feel fear is acceptance. Accept that you have human emotions. It’s okay to feel things.

Instead of trying to push aside the pain, re-frame it. If you are feeling this way, it means that others are feeling it too. Some of them will quit. If you can keep going, you will be that much closer to doing what no one has done before.

Make a list of times that you felt discomfort and kept going. Use the list as a reminder that you have been here before. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Which brings me to my next point…

2. Remember Your “Why”

We sometimes consider giving up because we’re not seeing external results quickly enough. We are impatient for instant gratification. The truth is, things that matter take time.

When you start to question your path, remember why you started down it in the first place.

Most people don’t have very compelling reasons. They are doing it for money, fame, or respect. These rewards are all extrinsic. In other words, they are all external reasons for doing something and they can actually decrease motivation.

There are three main problems with focusing on extrinsic rewards:

They are out of your control
They are fleeting
They create stress
When you begin focusing on intrinsic reasons (e.g. love of your craft, the ability to help people, personal growth and challenge), it is much easier to keep going. You don’t have to wait to get these rewards.

If you need help finding your “why”, download my True North Toolkit. It will help ground you in your strengths, passions, and the problems that you can solve for the world.

3. Stay Present

The third most common reason that we quit is overwhelm.

We look at how far ahead successful people are. We look back at all the time and effort we’ve invested and worry that it could all be for nothing. We look at our massive to-do list and wonder how we will ever get it all done.

Stop.

Be where you are now. Be grateful for everything exactly the way that it is. Later, you will look back on the hard times and smile, knowing this was the good stuff.

Now, go back to the basics and take small, actionable steps.

Ask yourself: What could I do right now that would excite me and build forward momentum?

Then go.

The best path is usually not the path of least resistance. Take it anyway.

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4 Ways to Amplify Your Confidence

Lack of confidence can be a tough thing to contend with. It can prevent us going for what we want, make social interactions a challenge and leave us feeling lost, frustrated and stuck. There are things we can do to build our confidence though – it’s often not something that just comes naturally! Some things can be implemented in an instant whereas others take a little more time.

As an introvert, confidence (or lack of it) is something I have had to deal with in life. Though actually, even the most outgoing people can lack confidence in many ways too. Confidence is unique to every person, regardless of their personality. For me, it still unveils its face in some situations but here are 4 things that I have done (and still do) to overcome it.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Whenever I feel like my lack of confidence is stopping me taking a bold step or doing something I really want to do, I pull out the ‘what is the worst that could happen?‘ card. That gives me the exact perspective I need to do it anyway. And in all cases, the worst thing (which is never that bad!) never happens. In fact, I usually feel great at the fact I pushed past the fear. And then I remember that feeing for next time!


Big changes come from taking small steps.

If you lack confidence in an area, what little thing can you do to push yourself just slightly out of your comfort zone without completely overwhelming yourself? As an example, if you struggle with confidence socially around other people, challenge yourself every day for a week to smile at 3 people you don’t know. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but can give you a real confidence boost to know you have instigated that subtle interaction. Plus, you’ll likely make the days of 3 people!

Get good at what you want to be confident in.

Confidence when it comes to doing something well usually doesn’t come completely naturally. To anyone! Think about those people you know who are confident in their work. The chances are they’ve practiced or nurtured the skills they need to get really good at what they do. Or musicians or public speakers. They may have raw talent but endless hours will have been spent perfecting their craft so that they can get up and do their thing with absolute conviction and confidence. Even people who seem to ooze confidence socially have probably practiced it! So what practical steps can you take to get good at an area that you want more confidence in?


Don’t beat yourself up over it.

For me personally, this is the most important lesson I’ve learned. Ultimately it’s that inner confidence that provides the core foundation to then build upon. And that comes from self-acceptance. I spent most of my twenties in a battle with myself and my confidence as a consequence, was at an all time low. I couldn’t really see a way forward or find my confidence because I didn’t know who I was. I lost my passion for everything. After working through this, the natural confidence I have cultivated now really comes from just letting go. Letting go of fear of what people think, fear of failure, fear of fun, even! By taking care of myself, doing the things I love, going for what I want in my career, laughing, spending time with people who bring out the best in me and constantly pushing myself in a positive way to do more, with that has come self acceptance and confidence.

There are many situations in which we may have to ‘put on’ confidence and that’s normal. But really, the end goal I think, is having that true, authentic inner confidence. And that comes when you amp up the self-care, do things that make you feel on top of the world and not be afraid to let your true, fantastic and completely unique personality shine through.

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How Effective Are You?

How Effective Are You?

I've been giving a lot of thought to making and keeping commitments. I know that's a really far out concept for most people but what does it mean to you as a home based business owner? The ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves and the other people who touch our lives and our integrity to keep those commitments is at the basest level of our strength of character. In keeping commitments, even the small ones we become aware of our own self control and it gives us the strength and the courage to accept more responsibility. So, mood is no longer a factor in our daily dealings but our honor in keeping those commitments becomes all important.

We can make promises or set goals and keep them! Our personal effectiveness is based on the power we have to make and keep those commitments. How effective are you? We can continually work on improving our personal and professional effectiveness by keeping those commitments creating strength of character along with the effectiveness we seek.

We always hear, "be part of the solution, not the problem" and truer words where never spoken. You can be the light, the model, not the critic. How effective is a critic anyway? If you make a mistake, OWN IT, correct and learn from it and move on. Blaming and accusing or beating yourself up is not effective. What does it produce? It instead destroys faith, relationships, and the desire to change the situation. Don't obsess over other peoples shortcomings, take the high road. It's not what their doing or not doing. If you think the problem is "out there" or someone else, look closer. That whole thought process is the problem. Throw away that script and re-write it to a more positive, effective and dare I say, BALANCED outcome.

In the words of Steven Covey "We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately... for most of our circumstances." We are responsible for our own actions and our behavior have direct consequences or "circumstances" in our lives.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Can you think of one small commitment that you can make to your business or family today? Can you be a more effective business owner, dad, sister just by making and keeping one small commitment? How do you think that your business or family would thrive? Just try it for 30 days and I'm sure you will see amazing differences in your business success and life.

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5 Strategies to Keep Your Compliments and Build Your Confidence

5 Strategies to Keep Your Compliments and Build Your Confidence

How do you feel when someone pays you a sincere compliment? Great, right?


That compliment has more to offer than giving your spirits a momentary boost. You can put that simple compliment to work for you in ways you might never have thought of. Let's explore further.

1. Keep your compliments.

When someone compliments you, write it down. Value it and keep every single compliment that anyone ever pays you. Put it in a journal, a Compliments Catalog, if you will. Or keep a special file or folder online. Whatever method you use, record every compliment verbatim.

2. Embrace your fabulousness.
Positive feedback can be harder to accept than negative. Really make an effort in the moment to take the commendation in. It's a tribute to your skills, expertise, and effort. Accept it as the gift that it is.

The value of this feedback is more than making you feel good in the moment. When you're able to embrace it, you increase your confidence. Re-read it later, maybe at a time when you're feeling down or about to go into a big meeting or call. Any time you feel disconnected from yourself and need to be reminded.

Re-reading your compliments help you sustain your confidence level and your motivation. It's a lot easier to maintain than to build back up, so put your energy into maintenance.


3. Spread the joy.

Let people know the positive feedback about you or your business. To be respectful, check with the complimenter first, and if they're OK with it, share the joy. Social media or your website are great places to let people know what others have said. It's called, 'social proof.' Proof that others think you're exceptional. It'll raise your respect quotient and your online capital.

4. Amp up your bio.

Include recurring compliments in your online bio on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. Or in the bio you provide to someone who is introducing you as a speaker.

You can take this even further in your marketing. Stories are valuable marketing currency we can all use to share our businesses with each other. Sharing stories of how you helped a client (or team member or supplier) allows for more and valuable connections with your audience. People will take notice if your bio is different and personal. Include a brief story behind a testimonial you received.

5. Pay compliments forward.

You can have an impact on other people's confidence too. When you have a great experience with them or their business, let them know. Then they can start their own compliments journal. You'll deepen your connections and expand your impact with some simple words of sincere praise. It's a valuable gift to others.

Value your compliments. You can use them in many ways to boost yourself and your business.

Here's one from me to you: I think you're brave and smart. Ready to embrace that?





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People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

It has been said that one's life can be an expression of their own needs or it can be an expression of other people's needs. When it comes to the former, one is pleasing themselves; whereas when it comes to the latter, they are pleasing others.

True Fulfillment

In order for one to live a fulfilling existence, it is clearly going to be important for them to take care of their own needs. Now, this doesn't mean that one will therefore overlook other people's needs.

There is a strong chance that they will meet other people's needs through putting their own needs first. For example, one could create their own business and even though this will allow them to full their needs, it will also enable them assist others.

Win-Win

As a result of this, it will be possible for one to fulfil their own needs and to fulfil other people's needs. The alternative would be for one to be there for others, but to overlook what is taking place within them.

It would then mean that even though one is having a positive effect on others, they are not having a positive effect on themselves. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is sabotaging their own life.

The Outsider

However, even though this is the case, it doesn't mean that other people will always realise this. Due to how one is behaving, they could believe that they are simply a 'selfless' human being.

One is then an example of how people should behave and they are going to admire their behaviour. What could also play a part in this is that one could act as though they are only too happy to overlook their own needs.

A Facade

There is also the chance that they could be so concerned with their own needs that they don't take the time to think about one's needs. Yet even if one does come across as easy going and 'selfless', it doesn't mean this reflects what is taking place within them.

During the moments when they are by themselves, they could feel frustrated, angry and powerless. At the same time, this could be an experience that doesn't last for very long, as one could end up feeling guilty and ashamed.

Self-Oppression

It then won't matter if there is external pressure, as one will keep themselves in line. This is something that could take place without one being fully aware of what is happening, and then before long, they could soon be doing what they can to please someone.

If one was able to take a step back from what is taking place, they may find that their life has been this way for quiet some time. It can then be seen as who they are as opposed to how they are choosing to behave.

A Choice

The trouble is that one is unlikely to see that they do have a choice when it comes to how they behave, and this can partly come down to how long they have experienced life in this way. It can be seen as something that just happens, and it is then going to be normal for one to have this outlook.

If one was to open up to someone about what is taking place, they may say that they need to put their needs first and not to worry about pleasing others. One could then be told to change their behaviour and then everything will be fine.

Two Sides

However, even though one is suffering unnecessarily through putting other people's needs first, it doesn't mean that they can just change what they are doing. For one thing, they could be out of touch with their own needs, and it could also cause them to experience a lot of pressure.

The mental and emotional pain they experience through trying a different approach could be stronger than the mental and emotional pain they usually experience. It can then be a lot easier for one to carry on doing the same thing and to neglect themselves.

Anxiety

When one puts their own needs first, they could end up feeling overwhelmed, and this could occur even if they were to only think about doing it. The sheer discomfort they experience is then going to stop them from being able to think clearly.

It is then not a case of one putting their needs first and feeling as though they are doing the right thing; it's as though something bad will happen, or that their world will come to an end. And through having this inner experience, it is not going to be a surprise for them to overlook their own needs.

Relationships

One could find that this is an experience that they have no matter who they are with, or it could be something that they generally experience around their friends and family. Also, if one is in an intimate relationship, it could be something that they experience in their company.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one's life revolves around pleasing other people, and this is then something that allows them to feel safe. The problem is that whilst it stops them from having to feel uncomfortable, it stops them from being able to live their own truth.

Why Is This?

This is then similar to how a child sees their caregiver whilst they are growing up; at this age, their survival does revolve around pleasing others. But through receiving the right care, they will gradually grow out of this and develop a sense of self.

If one doesn't receive the right care (and this could be because they were abused and/or neglected), it won't be possible for them to develop a sense of self. As a result of this, they will stay in a boundary-less state and continue to believe that their survival rests on pleasing others.

Awareness

It is then going to be important for one to develop boundaries on one hand and to work through the pain they experienced during their early years on the other. Once one feels like an adult and no longer sees life as they did as a child, their life will begin to change.

This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.



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4 Ways to Start Thinking Positive Today

4 Ways to Start Thinking Positive Today

Today we are going to talk about 4 ways to start thinking positive as often our mind gets filled with negative self talk rather than positive thoughts, so in this article we are going to explore the positive way. We live in a very busy era with smart phones, laptops and cable TV. As a result of this our thoughts are constantly busy, we are always thinking about things and have new information we are absorbing every single day. This can have a major influence on the way your thoughts are.

So when you embrace the negative and you don't believe you can achieve something you probably won't do it as you let negative self-talk win. Well it really doesn't have to be this way and you can achieve everything you have dreamt about by choosing to shift this negative self-talk so it's create positive mindset instead.

I have shared my favourite 4 main points to start been positive today.

Listen to your thoughts

The first step is acknowledgement of your thoughts by tapping into what you are really thinking. This sounds incredibly simple but are you really listening to what your thoughts are saying? Our thoughts are made up of conscious and unconscious thoughts so some thoughts you are aware of and some thoughts you aren't. As I said above some media and people around us are telling us what we should be like for example the perfect partner, daughter/son and friend. If we are aware of this we have a choice not to buy into these thoughts. So my suggestion is to carry a pen and paper around with you for one day and during this day I want you to write down any negative thoughts you have. Be aware of any common trends and similar thoughts that repeat themselves during the day. This is an extremely powerful exercise to bring awareness and then this will bring change.

Choosing self acceptance

Instead of getting frustrated with the way you are feeling instead choosing to embrace self-acceptance, which will bring you peace within. So do your currently have acceptance within yourself just the way you are? Or do you focus on your weaknesses like the way your body looks in the mirror, how much money you have in your bank account or what someone close to you said about something you did? So let's get a pen or get on your computer screen a list 5 points of what self-acceptance means to you? This is the start of exploring your self-acceptance journey and practicing the kindness you deserve. When you are living in your own power you give yourself permission to show up fully. This deeper knowing that you are the way you are meant to be.

Confront your fears.

Fear will hold you back and sabotage your success so notice when fear is present in your mind. Instead give fear a voice and ask yourself what am I afraid of? What can I do to start moving forward? Break your big fear into small pieces and think without this fear here what do I want to achieve? Don't judge yourself in this moment and give yourself the kindness to feel what you feel. So by taking fear out of the picture your mind can see the positive outcomes without fear present.

Relationship with yourself

Some of us are the caregivers we look after our partner, our family and our friends. We nurture and care for others which is an amazing gift we give every single day but often we put ourselves last. If we aren't looking after ourselves what happens to us? We can feel tired, fed up, have negative thoughts and generally start to resent others around us. So instead choosing things to do just for us to fill us up like exercise, meditation and spending time doing something you love. By doing this you are improving your relationship with yourself and in turn the way your thoughts are.

By changing the way you think takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today you will notice your mind happier because of it. The more practice and time you put into changing your mindset your life will start changing for the better.

Today you can change the way you think, this does takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today is the best start. I would love you to share with me how you have shifted your negative mindset to be positive instead.

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6 Simple Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Become Fearful

6 Simple Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Become Fearful

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do." Henry Ford

There isn't an individual who hasn't been afraid or faces difficult circumstances that caused them to be fearful at some point. Fear is one emotion that most of us dread, but all will have experienced during our lifetime.

What are you afraid of? What makes your heart stops when you think of it? What stresses you out more than anything else? What is it that worries you most?

Are you worried about your future like so many of us? Do you worry about the security of your job or the future for your children? There isn't a shortage of things to cause us fear. Life is unpredictable and because of the uncertainty and the unknown we develop a fear for the future.

If you are like most of us, you need to develop the right attitude to overcome your fears. Living in fear is never the answer. You need to face the fears you have and find solutions to avoid dealing with them over and over again.

Find the source of your fear and deal with it head-on. The great thing about confronting your fears is that once you have dealt with it, it will no longer cause you to fear. You will also become stronger and better able to deal with other uncertain issues in your life.

Here are six questions you should ask yourself when you are feeling fearful that will help to manage your fears.

1. Am I fearful for the right reasons?

Fear is a good thing as it helps to keep us safe. Use your fear in the right way and for the right reason. Do not spend your life being fearful of life. Use your fear to motivate you to go after your dream. Do not be consumed by the fear of the future but use those fears to work on making your future brighter. Face your fears by channeling them into areas that will give you the results you want.

2. Are my fears positive or negative?

What are the things you dread most? Are they positive or negative? Which type of fears do you tend to focus on? Rather than be fearful of the things you have no control of, channel your energies on to things that will make your life easier and less stressful. Take the time to focus on the positive and do not focus on negative things. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklyn Roosevelt

3. What meaning am I giving to challenges?

Think about it seriously, what are you focusing on? Are you giving these fears a life by constantly thinking about them? If so resist the urge to worry and reclaim your power and focus your attention on things you want to achieve. Focus on the things that will help you to become a better person.

4. Am I causing fear to rob me of my life?

If you spend your life in fear, you will never enjoy your life. There will always be something to fear. Why spend your time worrying about things that might not happen and you cannot control. To be happy, you must rid yourself of fear as fear robs you of your joy. You can never enjoy life being afraid.

5. Are my fears real or imagined?

Many times you cultivate fear when, in fact, there is nothing to fear. When a situation arises, you give it more power than you should? Quit giving your fear the power to grow. Remember things always seem worst than they truly are.

6. What can I learn from these fears?

Find out what lessons life is trying to teach you. Do not miss the opportunity to get the message you are being sent. Whenever you feel afraid, find out what it is that scares you the most and what you can do to reduce your fear.

Our fears will never go away, but you must be able to control your fears and not allow it to control you. Live your life in confidence expecting the best, and the best will happen. When you feel fearful find the cause of your fear and find a solution and if you can't stop worrying about it because there is nothing you can do about it.

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3-Step Plan to Reset and Restart Your Achievement

3-Step Plan to Reset and Restart Your Achievement

We all run into that mental brick wall. You know the one, it keeps you from making any progress on your goals. It keeps you from breaking out of a funk where you wander from activity to activity, unfocused, uncertain and unable to make progress.


Here's a 3-step process for breaking out of your slump and through that brick wall. They're simple, easy to remember and doable if you first commit to the process. "Step 0" is the hardest part. If we could commit to a process before this, we'd already be through that brick wall, right?

Step 1 - Take a Break

This is probably the most important thing we can do to break out of a funk once we're mired in one for any length of time. It's also the hardest one to do. We get caught up feeling like we need to keep at it. We're falling behind and never seem to catch up to where we should be. How can we take a break right now?

Ever watch baseball? When a player has a long stretch of bad hitting, the manager will often sit the player for 1 to 3 games and tell him to not think about anything other than relaxing. It' amazing how well this works. Often the player comes back and starts off hitting like Ty Cobb, Pete Rose and Miguel Cabrera all rolled into one.


Why?

Because that time to relax took all the pressure off. Not thinking about your problems allows them to fade, to have less urgency. When we see the world didn't end, it allows us to put it in perspective and start over with a fresh attitude.

Step 2 - Take Small Actions
You've probably got an action plan you're working from. If so, pick a few small, repeatable actions that you can reasonably do for the next week. This will give you a taste of success and allow you to start building momentum. It will give you the confidence to act on the right things, in the right order and at the right time. Start small. Build momentum. Build on each success.

Step 3 - Re-evaluate Your Plans

Now that you've got some small successes going and have taken off the pressure, it's the ideal time to look at your plans. Were they too complex? Too ambitions? Too deep for your skill level right now? Were they impossible to do without the help you didn't ask for? Was it external factors that got you into a funk and behind that brick wall?

Whatever the cause, now is the time to see what you need to change to stay on track. Once you know the thing that knocked you off-track, you can be on guard for it again.

There you go. Relax. Act. Re-evaluate. These 3 small steps can get you back on track in any situation. They can work no matter the scale or the scope of what's going on in your life.




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Disappointment Is Not An Outcome, But A Process

Ever been disappointed? We all are sooner or later and some of us more often than others and more often than necessary. What exactly is disappointment and what are its primary contributors? But also, why do we set ourselves up for it?

Disappointment - the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations. Get it - the single biggest cause of disappointment are the expectations we want or need to happen or feelings we have when we have been let down by others or circumstances.

Let me briefly explain the title as I believe that expectations and their outcomes are more of a process than an outcome.

We want something to happen - a returned phone call, email or text response, someone to show up on time for lunch - whatever - and we believe/feel that it should happen due to our own needs, desires or situations and then BAM - nothing. So, we get upset, angry, hurt or yes - disappointed. I call it the disappointment - setup. Can it be avoided? Yes, but there are a few conditions that must be present.

First we have to grasp the simple concept that we are not in control of others or their actions, responses, timing or agendas.

Second we must accept that the world doesn't revolve around us.

And third we must nurture patience - not an easy task for control freaks.

When I say that disappointment is a process it starts with us and how we turn over control of our feelings, behavior, decisions or actions to others or circumstances. It doesn't just happen - it builds slowly as time passes and you wait for responses, actions, decisions or outcomes you want from others or life in general.

I don't care if it's an airline flight that is late or cancelled, the weather that messes with your weekend plans or simply routine traffic while on the way to an important meeting - it's all the same - stuff happens and if this concept is not ingrained in your consciousness I will guarantee you spend a great deal of time in a mindset of disappointment.

The other factor is the stress that is caused by these situations and if you are not aware of the negative impact of this let me tell you that everything in life is a stressor - a wedding or a divorce, winning the lotto or filing bankruptcy, getting fired or starting a new position - everything in life is a stressor but the body doesn't separate negative from positive stressors - they are all the same. Stress isn't what is happening but how you choose to respond internally to what is happening.

Yes, disappointment is a major contributor to stress and again its primary causes are the expectations you bring to any and every situation or person.

What can you do to eliminate or reduce your disappointments? Simple folks - let go emotionally of the things you can't control. Accept that life happens and not always according to your agendas or needs.

I'll share one of my life mantras with you - "I will be excited if it happens but I won't be disappointed if it doesn't."

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Waiting for the PERFECT Moment! There Is Never ANY!

"Did you know that if you can see a cloud, it can see you?
Same for trees.
And beauty.
Tallyho, 
The Universe"

So much beauty around us but we fail to just stop what we are doing and start enjoying what is around us. We all have a focus in life, but while we try to understand our mission, our journey in life, we fail miserably in doing the thing we enjoy. We go with: “When I get the right job, I will be able to take advantage of life" or” when my business succeeds, I will have more money to enjoy life" or whatever else that crosses your mind when waiting for that perfect moment to do understand your purpose.

 I will need to be clear with you on something. There is NEVER a perfect moment, a perfect time, a perfect job, a perfect business, a perfect relationship, and a perfect anything. There is NEVER that. You need to have faith that everything you do today will have great impact in how you live your life tomorrow. We all rely on faith that things should change for the better, because I trust God that it will. So what is faith? "It is the acceptance of which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove". You can't really prove that having faith in something will render the wishes and hopes that it will come true. 

The belief that you have towards the power from above is what keeps you on moving forward, and never waiting on that perfect moment to act. Life is so fragile, filled with uncertainties. You, I or nobody else can predict your future or how it will turn out. The only thing you can do NOW is to live your life NOW. We are running away and towards something, not really knowing exactly what it is. We fight in wars, in battles that is never really won because of all the destruction that is left behind. The world is NOT ours, we haven't built it. 

It came to us as a blessing, as a property that we rent, but do not own. We took what was given to us and added what we felt could change the world. Yes, it did change it, but do you think for the better? The Garden of Eden was already paradise, but because of the presence of humans, we created some kind of hell that we all are facing its repercussion. We need to all make a change, to start realising that change is imminent before it is too late.
Environmental factors have a detrimental effect on us, human beings. 



We don't realise it because we go on our day without realising that we are controlled, just like RC cars or aeroplanes. We are the receiver and someone is playing with the transmitter of that RC gadget. We need to change the frequency so we can detach ourselves from what I think can be destruction of human kind. There is something happening and it is not looking great for any of us. Opening our eyes is crucial to understand our environment and taking action. It is important that we take control of our own future because if we let it go as it is and not do anything about it, there will be severe consequences. It is a combination of what you see in the news (with terrorism as being a stepping stone to what can be worst and more damaging) because terrorism is just a way for us NOT to focus on what is going internally, in OUR country. They are keeping our mind busy with something else that will change our world as we see it. Time will tell! We just need to be ready for something that will shake everyone right deep in our soul.

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