Take a Breath!

Well, don't we always get into certain situations, even very simple ones, in which we lose our temper? Be it not finding the shirt you were planning to wear, or being stuck at a traffic jam or even spilling coke on your jeans - such trivial situations, with such simple solutions, but still some people absolutely lose their temper - not knowing how to deal with it.

It is very crucial to manage your anger. A person who doesn't have control over his anger can never deal with difficult situations in life. They will always believe that the world is "conspiring" against them. One who can't manage their anger in a positive manner needs to learn how to.

Life gives a person many difficult situations, sometimes only to teach us patience which is important in our professional & personal lives.

Why professional life?

Let us take a scenario. You have worked hard for the promotion you really want and you believe you deserve. But, the "not-so-efficient" colleague gets the promotion. 

Now, the reasonable approach to deal with this situation would be to work harder and be happy for the colleague.

People who tend to have anger issues may abuse or even resort to physical violence to get the promotion- as they believe they deserved it more.

Why personal life?

We must have once in our life come across such a situation. If you have a younger sibling, all attention, importance and hopes are with the "younger" sibling, as they are usually the 'poor little things' and can't take care of themselves, even when they are adults they are treated the same way. In some cases discriminating between girl and boy. This enrages some people to no end and rightfully so. However instead of screaming and shouting and bringing the whole house down there are other ways to handle the situation.

How to deal with it?

Dealing with the situation positively would be to prove it to everyone that you are also important. Work hard and excel. Not for them, but for yourself too.

But, how do people normally deal with such a situation? They get jealous. They tend to see the negative aspect of the situation and give up.

So, seeing the above scenarios, these are basic things we deal with every day or things we have to deal with in life - it is crucial to deal with your anger.

But, how do we manage our anger?

Here are a few tips one must always follow to manage their anger.

1. Count to 10.

Think you're going to lose it and yell at the world? Count to ten. Relax your mind. Breathe.

2. Take a deep breathe.

Take long breathes and say Om. Repeat this 4-5 times. It relaxes the mind.

3. Meditate.

Meditation is actually a very simple way to gain peace of mind and lessen the anger one feels.

4. Introspect.

Try to think about the situation in a practical manner. Are you over-reacting? Can it be solved? Is it worth it? Analyze the situation instead of getting angry.

5. Go for a walk.

Nothing works better than taking a stroll in the park when you feel you're about to lose it. It makes you forget the situation or analyze it from every angle.

6. Talk it out.

When things have calmed down, take time and discuss what upset you about the situation and instead how it should have been handled.

So, here you go! These are the main things I keep in mind when I lose my temper. So have a go at it! 

Learn to live peacefully.

As Buddha said, "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

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Sticking To Your Dreams During Hard Times

No one has achieved greatness without facing difficulties along the way. You may face some challenges as you try to achieve your goals, this article is written to help you get through such challenges.

1. Take a break if you have to

Sometimes when you are down, all you may need is a break from work. You may need to isolate yourself for a while to get refreshed. A lot of people have come up with the best ideas in their lives during such periods of rest. Learn to take short pauses during each work day and plan to spend some of your vacation in isolation.

2. Surround yourself with positive people

When choosing friends, select people who have a positive perspective about life. Look for people who always see the bright side of things, people who see things as they should be. Positive people have a way of lifting our spirits when we are down, they help us to tune our focus in the right direction.

3. Keep your mind on your target

Many times the journey seems tedious and stressful because we place our focus on the difficulties we face. Learn to always stay focused on the target no matter the challenges you face and you will find inner strength to continue. visualize your goals every time. Put pictures that remind you of what you desire to achieve in locations where you can easily see them. This will help keep your mind focused on what you want to achieve.

4. Ask for help

No man is an island and no one can achieve greatness without the help of others. You are not an exception so get help. You may never be able to go the whole journey alone, you would need help somewhere along the line. When that time comes, be humble enough to ask for assistance. It doesn't mean you are weak if you ask for help, it means you are human.

5. Decide never to quit

The moment you are clear on what you want to achieve, you will start seeing a lot of things that may deter you. You have to make a personal resolve never to quit, this is where a lot of people miss it. How can you achieve your goals if you quit too soon? Imagine the heroes we celebrate in the world today, what would have happened if they quit? Stay on it, fight if you have to, scream and cry, feel the pain and hurt but don't quit.

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Why Free Time Is An Illusion That Kills Dreams

“REPLACE REGRETS WITH DREAMS. WHENEVER YOU START THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE, SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO NOW. IT’S FAR MORE EMPOWERING AND A LOT LESS DRAINING.” – LORI DESCHENE

I used to think that I wanted more free time, but I discovered that what I really wanted was more time focused on my dreams. More to the point, working on those dreams.

It’s not so bad to be busy as it is to be busy doing thing which don’t move us in the direction we want.

Our time is often divided between doing something we hate (a job), and the time in between that where many people look to escapism for relief; maybe focusing on other people’s lives or things that “pass the time”.

With finite time to do everything we’ve ever dreamed of, how could we simply “pass the time” instead of doing something with it?

“LACK OF DIRECTION, NOT LACK OF TIME, IS THE PROBLEM. WE ALL HAVE TWENTY-FOUR HOUR DAYS.” – ZIG ZIGLAR

The time we pass frivolously is the time we could use to create a compelling future and an exciting present.

Imagine never being bored again.

Imagine a fire deep inside that compels you to get up early not because you have to, but because you can’t wait to get back at it.

Imagine if you could live every day without, “Blegh, it’s Monday” or “I can’t wait for the weekend!”

Being fully engaged in your work, something big that you’re creating which makes you excited is the best way to eliminate the idea of free time. Instead, we can replace it more accurately with just time.


Why Free Time Is An Illusion

If more people dedicated their so-called free time to something worthwhile, they could soon eliminate the need to segment their time artificially. Instead, time is wasted frivolously, and the pattern continues.

Here are some suggestions to get the most out of every day, and eliminate “free time”.

1) Being Present

I’m a highly driven man, but I don’t let time pass without enjoying every moment in the present, including my work.


It’s important to keep an eye on the prize but never forget the here and now. Experience it and enjoy it.

Better quality experiences = fulfillment

Working on something big is not only motivating, but it will create the most intense experiences and lessons in our lives.

The end result of dedicating every available moment to our passion is a deep sense of fulfillment, and that’s before receiving the end prize. As long as we’re progressing, we’ll feel alive.


2) Grit

It’s not all going to be fun.

In fact, working on creating something you don’t already have will require you to grow into another person. The biggest factor that will determine how you grow, and the outcome you get from that growth, will be your ability to stick to it even when it sucks.

That’s grit, that’s fortitude and that’s mental toughness.


3) New Habits
Our habits can often work against our own desires, that is until we decide which habits to adopt. Making the best use of time means letting go of bad habits which drain our days.

Training ourselves to do what we need to do when we need to do it will move us towards our goals faster. Make a habit of it.

“HOW WE DO ONE THING IS HOW WE DO EVERYTHING.”

4) Work Hard, But Enjoy Your Breaks

When it’s go-time, it’s time to work, but when you’re eating, spending time with family, or taking some quiet time, then it’s time to let everything else go.

This is one reason why it’s so important to put everything we’ve got into the work we’re doing to achieve our goals at every possible moment; when we take a break we’ll enjoy it that much more because we can rest satisfied that we did everything we could do.

5) Eliminate Small Barriers

It’s often the small things that can get in the way of doing what we want.

A simple personal development concept called “activation energy” could help you become much more productive when used strategically. The principle is that anything that makes any given task just a little more time consuming or difficult can be all it takes to stop the task altogether.

For example, from the book the Happiness Advantage: The author wanted to play his guitar but he put it in the closet, only twenty seconds from the couch he would sit on every night. It wasn’t a big deal to get up and grab the guitar from the couch, but it just wasn’t happening.

One day he got a guitar stand which he placed conveniently right beside the couch, and immediately the difference was apparent. Every night after work when he went to relax the guitar was right there, and it was natural to grab it and start playing.

Making something just a little more convenient can be the difference between doing it and forgetting about it.


6) Get More Hours Out of Every Day

Personally, my day starts with a workout at 5:30 AM and then I work all day until till 10 pm.

I never thought I would enjoy working such long hours, but it’s made me much more satisfied than I’ve ever been before. I know that every hour spent on my goals moves the needle a little more.

It wasn’t like that before… I used to work hard, I thought, but I was always spinning my tires and getting nowhere. It turns out that I wasn’t dedicating nearly enough time to make anything substantial happen. I had way too much “free time” because I would call it a day when I got tired.

Usually, the effort required to make big goals a reality is far higher than most of us anticipate, and this will turn to frustration and eventually give up when we decide, “It doesn’t work”.

More work is the cure. If your tires are spinning and you feel like your efforts are going nowhere then you might not be doing enough.

The easiest way to assess this is to look at what you actually do with your time.

Facebook? Sitting in a bar with buddies? Watching cat videos on YouTube in the evening?

If you haven’t “made it” then you’re throwing this time away. What un-fulfilling activity could you eliminate from the day to get more quality time?


7) The Concept of Segmented Time

There’s no such thing as free time, only time. At every given moment we have to choose what we do with it.

It’s important to change our mindset about time if we ever really want to do great things. If we look at time as something that is dispensable, we’ll waste it. It’s a lack of foresight into our mortality that leads us to squander our most precious resource.

Bored?

Boredom is a product of the wrong focus. I couldn’t imagine being bored because I’m always engaged, focuses on my ambition.

To eliminate boredom first look at what you’re thinking about. If it’s not compelling or inspiring then it’s time to change your focus to something that gets you excited, then do it.


Summary

Anything that doesn’t move you forward will leave you behind.
There is no free time, only time
Every moment we can choose how to spend our time
Experience the present moment to get the most out of it
Choose quality experiences over escapism
Work hard
Take satisfying breaks to recharge
Develop grit (mental toughness)
If you’re not reaching your goals you may be focusing time on the wrong things
Create habits that help you move forward
Eliminate small barriers to prevent procrastination

Have anything to add to this article? Leave a comment below.

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5 Regrets You Don’t Want to Have on Your Deathbed

As the age old saying goes: “YOLO!”

Oh wait, that’s the new age saying. The age old saying is what that acronym actually stands for…“You Only Live Once”.

Time seems to be racing at such a fast pace these days. Have you noticed?

Over the past 18 months as I’ve been writing here on The Start of Happiness I’ve been doing some deep and big thinking. It’s been about getting absolute clarity of what I want to do in life and ensuring I give myself to it to make it a reality.

When I look back on my life I don’t want to be living with any regrets. That’s why I made the biggest and toughest decision of my life and left my highly-paid, six-figure career to start over with nothing but a laptop and a desire to help others turn their passions into a thriving lifestyle.

Since leaving the corporate world, starting my own business has been one of excitement, challenge and monumental learning. It’s been one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

To wake up each and every day with more passion and motivation for what I’m doing is a massive milestone in itself. In saying that, it has been challenging, hard-work and has come with plenty of success and failure.

In the first 9 months of my new business – Gradrecruit, I’ve managed to get site traffic up to 60,000 page views a month and a user base of over 2,000 which I would say is a huge success. My income is generated from corporate clients and this has been harder than I first expected. But it’s expected that a new business takes time to build its brand, trust and client base. For the personal journey and learning experience I’ve been on, I wouldn’t change it for the world and I’m glad I’ve challenged myself in this way.

Making the Decision and Taking the Chance

Life is full of opportunity. It comes down to taking the chance.

Over and over again, different individuals prove that there are new and exciting ways of making a living. Just like this person who is a pet detective (no, it’s not Ace Ventura, although it is my favourite movie of all time so I automatically love these guys… alllrightythen!) These individuals are the trailblazers for new careers and they are bearing all the risk. There is never a guarantee that something will work out, but don’t you wish you would have at least tried?

I recently went to an entrepreneurial conference in Sydney where I got the chance to meet Sheryl Thai, a regular 20-something female who absolutely loved cupcakes. She thought she should start making cupcakes to sell to her friends. Just 4 years later, she’s turned her business, Cupcake Central, into a multimillion dollar powerhouse. AMAZING.

It all starts with a simple decision.

It’s the decision to change your life and do what you have always wanted to do.

I had always had the dream of starting Gradrecruit since I was a graduate at university. It was something that never left me. I always felt there was a link missing between the workforce and students at university. I realised that if I had been having these thoughts for a number of years, it’s something that I need to at least try. My gut was telling me I just needed to do it.

If you have a similar gut feeling about something you want to do, my recommendation would be to trust your gut. It’s always right.


There’s No Time for Regrets

The fact that time is flying by so fast means that there is absolutely no time for regrets.

Do you know what the most common regrets are of those on their deathbed?

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Just look over number one again.

That sums up what I’m getting across to you in this post.

It’s about having the courage to be authentically you. What are your deepest desires, passions and interests and how do you want to live your life?

That is the NUMBER 1 regret that most people have on their deathbeds. Do you want to be like most people and have that same regret?

Those that have lied on their deathbed and shared their regrets do so to help those that still have a number of years left in their life. If I were you I’d take their advice as gold. What matters most to us is is clear in life’s final moments.

Now, re-read number two again.

We are not on this planet to work, but to love and make a difference. Sure, your work can make a difference to society and to other people directly, but you have to make sure that you are doing the right work that enables you to be authentically you.

I would argue that work is not work when you’re absolutely passionate about it.

If you can find something that you really enjoy doing and use it as a vehicle for wealth, then that is more ‘play’ than work. When you get ‘pay for play’, that’s a pretty cool thing.
When is The Start of Happiness for You?

Alexander Kjerulf, one of the world’s leading experts on Happiness at Work said to me recently that there are two main things that create happiness.
Relationships
Meaningful Work

If you can wake up every day, passionate about what you do and know that it makes a positive impact on society, then you’re halfway there. If you can also surround yourself with supportive, passionate people then you’re happiness is going to be unstoppable.



When you link back these two statements with the top 5 regrets on your deathbed, you can easily see the clear link between them all. If this is what life is really about, why are we not allowing ourselves to fulfil it?

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