What Wrong With Having Problems?

"The problem is not there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." Theodore Rubin

A problem is not a problem until you call it a problem. Before that, it is an occurrence or simply something that happened. Expecting all occurrences to be void of breakdowns/problems is a formula for disappointment.

From another perspective, think of the times you felt you were in the zone. It could have been an athletic event or a business transaction. When you were in the zone, problems had little or no effect on you. You may have looked at them as a slight bump in the road and you proceeded to solve the problem with little or no effort. And then you continued on with your goal.

Later, when you were asked how did you solve the challenge so effortlessly, you may have responded that it was like an outer body experience. And it would have been hard for you to explain. When we are in the zone, problems rarely show up as insurmountable. That's the example of when life is good. So why do people have problems with problems?

Perhaps the real reason we have problems with problems is because we secretly expect them. When they show up, we say, 'I knew something would go wrong'. It's like we programmed ourselves for the disappointment.

When they happen, we are upset because life seems to be filled with one problem after another. And all we want is a smooth harmonious life with no problems. It's like we are waiting for the day that we believe we deserve - a life with no problems. But, as usual, we know the next breakdown is just around the corner.

In fact, we spend time dreaming about the day we meet the right person and find the right job that will give us eternal peace and harmony. While at the same time, our environment has trained us to never get too happy because the next problem is around the corner.

Nevertheless, we have all had the experience of being in the zone. If you focus on doing something well, you will find it much easier to get into the zone. In that space, you will find problems rarely seem to be a problem.

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A Guide to Motivation

Motivation and drive are the most elusive of things.

Those who naturally possess these traits are able to get ahead and cannot comprehend that others do not automatically have the need to be active and productive.

For most of us, it is something that we can learn.

Motivation is something I struggled with for many years. Procrastination was the rule. "Why do it now?" "I can do that tomorrow." Then the time passes and it turns into "it's too late to do that now".

I thought that this was the only way I'd ever be, despaired at the thought that I'd never achieve what I thought I could and I always fell back into the same pattern of "doing something about it later."

I've taught myself motivation and given myself that drive that was missing for so long. The most important thing I've learnt? It's easier than you think.

The first thing to learn is how to be productive. I came across a phrase that helped me rationalise where to start.

"Never have a zero day"

The essence of this is not allowing yourself a day where nothing is achieved. You can set the goals as small as you need to start with, do some washing up, tidy your room or file some paperwork. As long as you've done something that you can count as productive then you've avoided a zero day. You'll soon find that you're doing the small stuff automatically every day and the goals you set will become bigger. This is a great way to start your path to productivity and avoids the urge to crash out in front of the TV as soon as you finish work.

Once you've started to deal with the small stuff then you can think about taking on bigger challenges. Whatever it is that you've been avoiding starting is the next objective. The hardest part about larger challenges is that the end goal seems too remote and far away. Without the focus of immediate benefit it can be difficult to get the right mindset to even start a longer project. So how do you visualise the outcome? The short answer is that you don't. Not to start with.

I'll share a metaphor that my mother used when I was growing up, unfortunately it took me years to realise the significance!

You have a whole house to tidy. The mess in each room is overwhelming. How do you know where to start? What's the best order to do it in? Should I clean the kitchen or the living room first? It doesn't matter. You have to pick something up and put it in the right place. Again and again. Do this enough and the whole house will be tidy.

Break down the issue in to the smallest increments possible and start by completing them. The objective is not to finish the project but to start it, to be making progress towards it. This is the important part. Making progress is just as important as the end result.

This leads nicely on to the next point. I'm going to use a quote from Commander Chris Hadfield who can sum it up better than I can, and with much more authority.

"Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow, and the day after that. Look at who you want to be, and start sculpting yourself into that person."

Set yourself long term goals but don't sweat about reaching them too quickly. The important thing is putting yourself on the right path. Make good decisions about the little things and the big things will happen for you. As long as you're making progress along the path to your goal then you're doing the right think and making progress is an achievement!

Now you're on your journey to productivity, but can you stay on it?

Look back at your progress regularly. You don't need to analyse in detail every action on every day but now is the time to look at the bigger picture. Consider your position a month ago, a year ago. Has it improved? Then imagine how it will be in the future. Use this to push yourself further.

The final advise is one that I've found particularly useful recently. Give yourself productive hobbies where you are achieving goals and keep them diverse. Learn a new skill or work on existing skills, pick up a new language or a musical instrument. By being able to change what you're working on you can keep everything fresh and interesting.

It is important to realise that this isn't giving up. You can come back with a fresh outlook and more enthusiasm than you left it. But remember to never leave one thing too long or what you're working towards can disappear.

The key things to take away?

No Zero Days

Start small

Have long term goals

Review your progress

Keep it interesting!

Following this will mean that suddenly your downtime is spent improving your life rather than watching it pass by.

Personally? I'm teaching myself Spanish.

Gracias y adiós.

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5 Reasons Why People Don’t Believe in You

Dreams are called dreams for a reason. They’re huge, bold visions and ideas. They are everything we’ve ever wanted to have and do in our life. So it’s understandable that a lot of people will be doubtful and have no belief in your dreams when you tell them.

It’s quite sad that this happens, and it’s mainly because the person that you are talking to also has dreams of their own, but know that they will probably never achieve them.

And the reason that they know they will never live out the dreams of their own, is because they are not working for it. They always make up excuses as to why they can’t be working on their dreams, and at the end of the day just expect it to appear out of nowhere, like winning the lottery.

5 Reasons Why People Don’t Believe in You

I hear a lot of people say “If i won the lottery I’d…”, and it makes me think to myself. Why wait to see if you get lucky and win the lottery? Are you going to spend your whole life just hoping you get lucky? Why not go out there and work for it? The chances of you becoming successful that way are a lot better.

Here are 5 reasons as to why people don’t believe in you and the dreams you have in life.

1) It Didn’t Work out for Them

It’s incredibly easy for people to doubt all your dreams when they have similar dreams that they are nowhere near achieving. Besides, if they’ve supposedly worked as hard as they could, and nothing has happened for them, then surely it’s impossible right? Wrong.

Just something hasn’t worked out for someone else doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. If you set your mind to something, with a lot of hard work you’ll be able to achieve it. Sure, these people are highly unlikely to believe in you, but don’t let that stop you.


2) Your Dreams Might Seem Unrealistic

Anything that seems unrealistic to ‘the norm’ people will struggle to believe. I mean, you don’t see many people driving around in a Lamborghini or doing exactly what they want to at any given moment unless you’re looking on the internet at celebrities right.

It’s a very small percentage of the population that become this successful, and besides, if everyone was this successful then our definition of success would be a lot higher.

So sure, you’re dreams will seem unrealistic, but what you have to remember is that there are probably many people out there, that are living the same dreams you have as their reality, that have come from the same background as you, because they worked hard for it.

If you’re prepared to work for it, then prove everybody wrong. Anyway, isn’t the unrealistic what everyone strives for?


3) They’ve Heard the Same Story Before

Are you one of those people who has told your friends a family so many times that you’re going to do something amazing, and become rich and successful, but you never do?

Even if someone actually believes in you the first time you tell them your dreams; if you don’t work hard to achieve them, but keep explaining to your friends that you will, then like many things, over time their faith in you will fade.

If you really want people to believe in you, then don’t keep giving them the same story. Tell them when your certain that you’re going to be working your ass off to be successful.

4) They’re Set in Their Ways

Some people are just set in their ways of “life is life”. You get a normal job, make some money, get a house, a family and try and have some fun now and again. Most groups of friends will be set in this frame of mind.

If anyone dares to dream bigger than this life of standard living, then your friends will be quick to tell you that where you are now “is life”, and that your dreams are impossible.


5) You Don’t Even Believe in Yourself

You need to have 100% confidence in yourself and what you want in life, for others to be able to get behind you and believe in you. If right now, you’re a person who is struggling to believe in their ideas, their dreams and visions, then when you tell other people about them you are not going to be speaking with complete confidence.

To others, this will then come off as if you’re not sure about them, and if anybody had doubts about that sort of thing being achievable in the first place, your lack of confidence certainly isn’t going to win them over.

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Motivation Vs Inspiration

Although many people often confuse inspiration with motivation, they are two VERY different things. In order for us to do anything, we need to be motivated. Whether it is getting up from bed in the morning, doing our daily chores, or pursuing a lifelong dream, if there is no motivation we would not do it.

There are two types of Motivation: External motivation and Internal Motivation. When we say motivation in the normal sense, what we mean is External motivation. An external push that we require to do something that we may or may not care about.

On the other hand there is Internal Motivation which is also referred to as Inspiration. This kind of motivation comes from deep within ourselves and is not dependent on any external physical expression. When you are in this place of inspiration you are naturally drawn to do whatever feels best. In order for us to achieve our goals and move steadily forward on our chosen paths we need to be driven from inside rather than outside, therefore this means that the goals that we set have to be INSPIRED goals. one of the fastest roads to inspiration is motivation.

There are two types of Inspiration: Passive and Active. Replicating or building on the success and ideas of others is Passive inspiration, whereas, the act of CREATING things, pursuing new ideas, goals and ambitions is Active inspiration.

Motivation is related to the inspiration that increases the eagerness or willingness to do something. Inspiration is the process by which the mental stimulation takes place. It makes one WANT to do or feel something.

Starting to make sense?

Motivation relies on tenacity, determination and drive, but Inspiration comes from some place inside you that is profoundly touched in some way. The word inspire means "in spirit," which pretty much sums it up. When you're inspired to do something, you're more in the spirit of doing it. There's something more than determination driving you. It's more like you were actually "destined" to do it.

Websters online dictionary defines both Inspiration and Motivation as follows:

in·spi·ra·tion: something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create.

mo·ti·va·tion: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something.

In looking at the two definitions, it is clear that inspiration is more of a person reaching a point of wanting to act. There is a true DESIRE to achieve a goal or dream, they are "compelled", whereas, motivation is more of giving people reasons to act.

In short, Inspiration is the "spark" that originates within, and Motivation is the "fuel" that causes the spark to grow into a flame.

EVERYONE is indwelt with dreams & ideas known only to themselves, YOU carry those dreams & ideas. Your feelings are indicators that let you know when it's time to bring the spark forth that will grow into the flame.

"As life takes us up and moves us around, our purposes expand, our priorities shift, our search continues for what is ours to do" 

- Carol Adrienne

Be Inspired, Be Motivated, it's time to share that spark with the rest of the world!

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Why Reinvent Yourself?

What does reinvent yourself mean, and why would you do it? First of all, you are here now, already invented. Who are you, and what are you all about? You must answer this question before you can begin to take charge of your life, plan, and implement your plan to take your life in a different direction. Also, by spending time to define and understand your life as it is, you can think about how it turned out that way.

For some folks, the reinvention is to find a new job. Others want a change of scenery. They choose to live somewhere else. It is heartbreaking for everyone involved, but some decide to leave their family to start over, and in rarer instances, they leave their name, their heritage, and even their beliefs behind in order to start with a blank sheet of paper. Of course, none of these actions guarantee a rise in your happiness. Things will be different. Perhaps, it is better to test drive before you make a drastic change in your life.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Just because you thought of it, does not make that a good idea." Perhaps you need the counsel of a wise person who is a trusted friend. Wise means level-headed, experienced, and someone who must be convinced. It does you no good to take a thought to a friend who always agrees with everything that you want to do. Also, should you confide in social media freak, that person may broadcast your thought widely, which could compel you to reinvent before you were ready to make that decision.

There is another side to this. Do you have family responsibilities, moral obligations, or will people suffer because you choose to abandon them? Many people look back on the tragedies in their lives in order to self-analyze how they handled them. The ones who say that they did the best they could to "right the ship," can justifiably take pride as they identify themselves to be among the heart and soul of humanity. But, if you decide to reinvent, to walk away from everyone and everything important in your life, then you will have to be satisfied with your "it's all about me above everything else" decision. If no one else could count on you, then why does anyone anywhere need you around? That is harsh, but this is why you should be careful, consult with a trusted friend, and plan your reinvention to be least hurtful to others. Guilt is a poor substitute for unhappiness.

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5 Regrets You Don’t Want to Have on Your Deathbed

As the age old saying goes: “YOLO!”

Oh wait, that’s the new age saying. The age old saying is what that acronym actually stands for…“You Only Live Once”.

Time seems to be racing at such a fast pace these days. Have you noticed?

Over the past 18 months as I’ve been writing here on The Start of Happiness I’ve been doing some deep and big thinking. It’s been about getting absolute clarity of what I want to do in life and ensuring I give myself to it to make it a reality.

When I look back on my life I don’t want to be living with any regrets. That’s why I made the biggest and toughest decision of my life and left my highly-paid, six-figure career to start over with nothing but a laptop and a desire to help others turn their passions into a thriving lifestyle.

Since leaving the corporate world, starting my own business has been one of excitement, challenge and monumental learning. It’s been one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

To wake up each and every day with more passion and motivation for what I’m doing is a massive milestone in itself. In saying that, it has been challenging, hard-work and has come with plenty of success and failure.

In the first 9 months of my new business – Gradrecruit, I’ve managed to get site traffic up to 60,000 page views a month and a user base of over 2,000 which I would say is a huge success. My income is generated from corporate clients and this has been harder than I first expected. But it’s expected that a new business takes time to build its brand, trust and client base. For the personal journey and learning experience I’ve been on, I wouldn’t change it for the world and I’m glad I’ve challenged myself in this way.

Making the Decision and Taking the Chance

Life is full of opportunity. It comes down to taking the chance.

Over and over again, different individuals prove that there are new and exciting ways of making a living. Just like this person who is a pet detective (no, it’s not Ace Ventura, although it is my favourite movie of all time so I automatically love these guys… alllrightythen!) These individuals are the trailblazers for new careers and they are bearing all the risk. There is never a guarantee that something will work out, but don’t you wish you would have at least tried?

I recently went to an entrepreneurial conference in Sydney where I got the chance to meet Sheryl Thai, a regular 20-something female who absolutely loved cupcakes. She thought she should start making cupcakes to sell to her friends. Just 4 years later, she’s turned her business, Cupcake Central, into a multimillion dollar powerhouse. AMAZING.

It all starts with a simple decision.

It’s the decision to change your life and do what you have always wanted to do.

I had always had the dream of starting Gradrecruit since I was a graduate at university. It was something that never left me. I always felt there was a link missing between the workforce and students at university. I realised that if I had been having these thoughts for a number of years, it’s something that I need to at least try. My gut was telling me I just needed to do it.

If you have a similar gut feeling about something you want to do, my recommendation would be to trust your gut. It’s always right.


There’s No Time for Regrets

The fact that time is flying by so fast means that there is absolutely no time for regrets.

Do you know what the most common regrets are of those on their deathbed?

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Just look over number one again.

That sums up what I’m getting across to you in this post.

It’s about having the courage to be authentically you. What are your deepest desires, passions and interests and how do you want to live your life?

That is the NUMBER 1 regret that most people have on their deathbeds. Do you want to be like most people and have that same regret?

Those that have lied on their deathbed and shared their regrets do so to help those that still have a number of years left in their life. If I were you I’d take their advice as gold. What matters most to us is is clear in life’s final moments.

Now, re-read number two again.

We are not on this planet to work, but to love and make a difference. Sure, your work can make a difference to society and to other people directly, but you have to make sure that you are doing the right work that enables you to be authentically you.

I would argue that work is not work when you’re absolutely passionate about it.

If you can find something that you really enjoy doing and use it as a vehicle for wealth, then that is more ‘play’ than work. When you get ‘pay for play’, that’s a pretty cool thing.
When is The Start of Happiness for You?

Alexander Kjerulf, one of the world’s leading experts on Happiness at Work said to me recently that there are two main things that create happiness.
Relationships
Meaningful Work

If you can wake up every day, passionate about what you do and know that it makes a positive impact on society, then you’re halfway there. If you can also surround yourself with supportive, passionate people then you’re happiness is going to be unstoppable.



When you link back these two statements with the top 5 regrets on your deathbed, you can easily see the clear link between them all. If this is what life is really about, why are we not allowing ourselves to fulfil it?

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