What Are You Searching For?

I have not yet met anyone in my world travels who didn't want a little more inner peace. And, I have never encountered anyone who would trade a little money to rid themselves of their stress and worries.

So, is this what each of us is secretly or overtly searching for? Well, to be truthful I'm not sure. People who say they want less stress continue to pursue wealth, fame, power, position and more stuff. People who say they want to be happy often seem to sabotage this goal with poor choices, bad judgment and emotional immaturity. And people who say they want more inner peace still harbor old emotional baggage, replay old slights and hurts and let other people control their behaviors, attitudes, emotions and even their thoughts.

If we are truly searching for any or all the items listed above one would have to wonder whether we are just giving lip service to these goals, desires and dreams or if we really want them but just don't seem to know where to find them, how to achieve them or how to keep them.

I too have been guilty. I am just like you in that I would like a little more happiness and a little less stress yet when it comes to doing what is necessary I often fall short.

Sure, I have read all the books, hundreds and hundreds of them, attended the seminars, had personal coaches, spent hours and even weeks setting and planning my personal goals and dreams and spent more hours than I can remember praying and meditating and yet, here I sit from time to time, still questioning whether all this reading, study and searching is worthwhile.

During my years of study, research and searching I have come to a few conclusions.

1) Many of the people who supposedly have it figured out, don't. 

2) Many of the people who preach and teach this stuff to others and get paid handsomely to do so, don't have a clue. 

3) Some of the people who you would least expect to have the answers often do. 

4) Even many of the religious fanatics, diehards or steadfast believers in God still struggle with the same issues, questions and challenges as those who have never set foot in a church or Synagogue or read the Bible.

Why is this? Are we doomed as a species to just search and never find or discover the true meaning of our life or as the title says, why we are we here?

Humans have been asking for centuries; why am I here, where am I going and what am I supposed to do with my life while I am here?

One could get easily discouraged and feeling a little sorry for themselves spending years contemplating simple questions like these.

Have you ever asked yourself any of these searching questions whether in times of doubt or discouragement or happiness and contentment? Success or failure? 

Do you have any answers yet, or are you like most of us, that you just keep on trudging ahead through life one day at a time just earning, spending, working and playing?

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Six Stress-Busters That Will Ease Your Stress At Work

Does your heart beat faster at work and you have trouble sleeping at night? Those are just a couple of symptoms for work-induced stress. Other indications of being stressed at work include headaches, tense muscles, upset stomach, feeling fatigued all the time, and even experiencing chest pains.

Workers often take those symptoms for granted. But these danger signs can be more serious than you think. Deadly serious in fact.

What worries you the most about work and life?

Harvard and Stanford researchers last October found that workplace tension could take from six months to three years off your life. The study cut across many kinds of jobs and income levels. A couple of big worries held by all of the groups surveyed were the fear of losing a job and health insurance.

"If we're living in a constant state off fight or flight," says wellness coach Emily Soares Proctor in a printed report, "the stress response happens over and over again, chronically upsetting your entire system and creating the environment for exhaustion and disease."

While you might question one of the survey's "findings"-that workplace stress can take months or years off your life-both Proctor and the Harvard survey agree on one thing: you must take action by taking steps to reduce workplace stress.

It's normal to experience some stress at work. But too much of it lowers your productivity along with your physical and emotional well-being. As mentioned previously, you need to deal with it. "Managing stress is the key to reversing these outcomes," concludes the Harvard/Stanford survey.

Can workplace stress be managed and ameliorated?

Of course it can. But you need to take the responsibility by blowing off steam in healthy ways by using stress-busters (SBs) that work for you.

Before listing some of the SBs, let's take a look at self-induced stress from drinking, drugging, or smoking. Those symptoms are the easiest to cure. That's because all you need to do is stop doing what's causing the symptoms. If you're having trouble quitting something, join a self-help group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

Six powerful stress-busters that allow you to blow off steam in healthy ways

SB #1: EXERCISE. It's a powerful stress reliever and makes you feel better. Find an exercise-like walking, swimming, cycling, or working out at a gym-that acts as a stress buster that works for you. You can even do some simple stretching exercises at your desk. It's well known that exercise helps you deal with stress.

SB #2. Listen to music-the kind that soothes you.

SB #3. TAKE A NAP or meditate. I've discovered twenty minutes of meditating during the day provides more energy and makes me feel more refreshed than napping.

SB #4. READ A BOOK that interests you. When I was a college freshman, I found a paperback novel lying around the dorm and found that reading a few pages between periods of study and at odd moments during the day relaxed my mind. I still read for relaxation.

SB#5. TALK TO SOMEONE you trust or see a mental health practitioner.

SB#6. BE WILLING TO QUIT YOUR JOB and start searching for another. Even if you don't quit, a willingness to do so will ease your tension. Why? Because you committed to doing something about it and believe that relief is in sight.

The reversal of stress symptoms

I've already mentioned that you-not your boss-are responsible for reversing your symptoms. Your employer doesn't give a hang about your job satisfaction or the trajectory of your career. Whether your workplace stress is created by conditions surrounding your work-like a crazy boss-or self induced by how you think, live, and manage your work environment, you are responsible for fixing it.

Don't give up this responsibility.

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Letting Go: Is Life Too Short To Hold Onto The Past?

What is clear is that human beings don't live forever; there comes a point in everyone's life when their time will come to an end. When it comes to when this will be, it can depend on a number of different factors.

Due to this, it is often said that life is too short to waste time; each moment needs to be seized. Through taking this approach, one will be making the most of the life that they have been given.

A Waste

If one doesn't experience life in this way, they could feel as though they are missing out. As a result of this, not only could they end up feeling angry; they could also feel guilty.

It is then going to be a challenge for them to standstill, and they might even find it hard to sleep. Their life is not going to be something they have to endure; it is going to be something that they are here to enjoy.

Driven

One is then going to be used to feeling motivated, and this will give them the energy that they need to achieve things. In general, they won't find it hard to get out of bed; they will have the need to get things moving.

This could mean that other people see them as someone who grabs life by the horns, so to speak. And based on how they approach life, it is likely to have a passive effect on how these people experience life.

Relationships

Their intimate relationships could also be infused with this same energy, and they are unlikely to want to have someone in their life who has a different approach. The people they are intimate with are then going to add to what they already bring to the table.

Their upbeat nature could also make it easier for them to move on after a break up; they won't want to go over the experiences they shared. One could believe that they will only be wasting their time if they wallow in the past.

A Rare Occurrence

To experience life in this way could sound like a dream to most people, and this is because they can find it hard to relate to. They might find it hard to remember when they last experienced life in this way.

And while someone might believe that it is possible to experience life in this way, they could say that this is not how life works. As far as they are concerned, life could be something that has to be endured, as opposed to enjoyed.

In The middle

Or, they may say that this is how they experience life at certain times, but that's as far as it goes. It is then not going to matter how short life is, as they will have moments when the amount of time they have on this earth becomes irrelevant.

Yet, regardless of whether one rarely has moments like this or whether they have them from time to time, they will know what it is like to get stuck in the past. When this happens, it won't matter what is going on in the present moment.

Attention

Their point of focus will be on something that took place a few days ago, or it might have even been a number of years ago. This will make it a lot harder for them to make the most of the present moment.

There is the chance that this is something that will only affect them during certain times, or it could practically bring their life to a standstill. Either way, it is going to stop them from being able to move forward in life.

One Area

When it only affects them at certain times, it could be something that stops them from being able to start a new relationship, for instance. This area of their life is then going to be far from fulfilling, and they are likely to experience a lot of pain.

The pain that they experience in this a part of their life could cause them to work even harder in their career. Therefore, although one area of their life will be ignored, another area won't be.

Feedback

If one was to talk to their friends and/or family about what they are going through, they could tell them that they need to let go of the past. This could be something that they are only too aware of, or it might not have occurred to them before.

Along with this, they could say that they need to do this since life is too short to hold onto what happened. Through being told this, it might not be long until one is able to move on with their life, and to put the past behind them.

A Conscious Choice

Through deciding it was time to move on, one would have gradually been able to let go of the past. It could then be said that one used their will power to change their life, and this can show that one doesn't need to be controlled by their mind.

However, while the above can take place, it doesn't mean that it is always this simple. Instead, one could find that even though they realise life is short, it doesn't mean that they are able to just let go of the past.

Pressure

One could then find that they start to feel bad about themselves, as they should be able to let go. There is then going to be the pain they are experiencing through being caught up in the past, and the pain that is created through not being able to use their will power to move on.

Clearly, one is going through enough as it is without punishing themselves for being in this position. The trouble with the willpower approach is that letting go is not always about the mind; there can be times when it is about what is going on in the body.

Awareness

If it relates to what is taking place in their body, it might be necessary for them to put their willpower to one side. As if they are carrying an emotional build-up that needs to be processed, they will need to face how they feel.

When comes to letting go of what is taking place in their body, they may need to work with a therapist.

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Why A Positive Attitude Is Best For You

Of all things you can adopt for yourself, you would be hard-pressed to find something better than a positive attitude. If you believe you have a realistic approach in life and that is what must prevail above all others, perhaps some thoughts on a positive attitude and the benefits that can bring you, could persuade you to open your mind towards acquiring it.

Sometimes we don't realize why we go towards things that express frustration, anger, ill feelings about people, situations of family life, the government, the wife, the husband, the environment etc. all of which, if we allow them to persevere in our life, can change our perception of what reality is, simply because we see them from one angle alone.

All expressions of this side of seeing things is not a healthy way to be about in life. They can stop us from being resourceful and from seeking solutions to everything we see as problems that upset us. It is not very useful and encouraging for others to see us carrying this kind of 

attitude.

Imagine if instead, we present ourselves with ideas to overcome most things that clutter our judgment and project forward a resourceful way of dealing with things, like talking about other ways to see what is difficult, complex, hurtful, abusive, repulsive or hateful.

And what if we persist on smiling, on focusing our thoughts to find solutions, on giving plenty to others without reservation, especially on treating others in a more loveable way without fear of rejection.

Do you think if you took this way of behaving would attract a different response from others? I believe this other way of being not only will change your life, your health and your financial position but will also make you a more caring person to everyone around you. Even if you don't believe it until you make an effort to deviate from taking the pessimistic side of things in life, and go onto the different side of reasoning, that lies in the resourceful state, the creative state, the solution-seeking state, it is extremely difficult to see gains in your life.

Dwelling in the half empty measures, the negative attitudes, the resentments about all things, on blaming everyone else and everything else for your misfortunes is not going to get anything in your life solved. But you already know that, so, trying the other angle, "the positive way" as many people would call it, seems quite a logical thing to do.

If being resentful, blame full, uncaring, angry, boastful, impolite and provocative do not get us anything truly worthwhile and make us look negative in so many ways to others, why not make an effort to overcome little by little all those traits to start having a positive attitude and seeing a change in how we are perceived by others.

Looks like by eliminating all those traits, you can begin to make small changes in your attitude, small enough steps to build a muscle of gradual improvement to overcome ingrained negativity. If you persist with this new way of behaving and make it sustainable, you will be, eventually, unstoppable. Nothing can resist your new level of positive attitude that is all-conquering, charming and effective in just about any endeavour you care to take.

You will always be welcome by everyone and doors will be open to you because it is the new you with the all-powerful attitude, "the positive attitude" that you so much wanted since the days of the "half empty glass" and the "partially cloudy skies" and the gloomy statistics of doom that you used to believe.

Now you are not sarcastic and nasty and do not have time for sadness, illness, abusive manners and provocation that so much hurt others and got you nothing but rejection. No, you are now totally the opposite, the charming, kind, smiley, courteous, giving, always ready to help kind of person that others love to be with, help and admire.

How beautiful is that? To all those that knew you as a negative, stressful type of person to be with, now they love you and respect you and want to help you because they want to reciprocate your changed positive personality. Great news!

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The Formula for Letting Go

One of the worst ways of spending your day is worrying about something. Whether it’s troubles with money, a fight with a loved one, feeling guilty for something, it doesn’t matter. As long as your mind fixates on worrying about a certain topic, it just ruins your entire day. You can’t focus on anything else and it eats away at you, and the only solution for that is something that’s much easier said than done: letting go.

Everyone tells you to “let it go” when you’re feeling stressed about something, but almost nobody tells you how to let it go, and it’s not easy at all. Usually you try for a few minutes and realise that, if you could, you would have a long time ago. With that in mind, my goal with this post is to explain how you can take those troubles out of your head and enjoy the rest of your day.

First, I’ll show you my formula for letting go and then I’ll explain every aspect of it. Ready? Here it goes.
Can you do anything about what’s troubling you?

Yes = Do it
No = Accept that

I know it seems overly simplistic, but it’s a clear way of remembering the mindset you must have when faced with stressful situations. Let’s dive into it and figure out all the details.
Is There Anything You Can Do?

First of all, you can see that it’s very important to analyse whether you have any control over your troubles or not, because that will determine what you can do about them. If you’re stressed about the results of your job interview, then there’s nothing you can do about it but wait. If you’re feeling guilty because you didn’t work out the entire week, you can simply go to the gym and work out right now to mitigate that.

The problem is, most of the time, we don’t care whether we have control over our problems or not. We worry and worry as if it’s going to change anything, and then feel bad because it didn’t. When you stop and think about how much you can do in this situation, it starts to make that burden lighter because you start focusing on what you can do. You turn your attention to actions instead of feelings.

Once you ask yourself that question, your mindset changes. It puts you in a more logical and analytical position, which is what you need to counter that emotionally charged mindset of worrying about money or relationships, for example. With that said and done, let’s take a look at your options.
If Your Answer Is Yes

If there is something you can do about your situation, you need to figure out what it is. This will force you to accept that you either have to take action or deal with the fact that you put yourself in that position. If you can do something but won’t, you run out of excuses to keep worrying about it.

Let’s say you have a very important exam in a week and you’re feeling stressed. Can you do something about it? Yes, you can study. Now if you decide to study, you can stop feeling guilty or stressed because you are doing your part. Since all the rest isn’t in your control, your best bet is to understand that by doing your part you are giving yourself permission to not worry about it anymore. Feelings aren’t rational and chances are you’ll still feel stressed about it, but your best chance at mitigating that feeling is trying to be rational with yourself. We like to be consistent as human beings so if you show your mind that you’ve done what you could, it’ll be much easier to accept that there’s no need to worry.

However, if you can study but won’t, then you have to deal with that decision. Feeling guilty about it won’t change anything, and you’ve made your mind. In either case you need to get to a definitive answer so you can be at peace. Here you have to accept that you chose not to take action and that’s the end of the story. Put all of this in rational terms so you don’t let your emotions take over. You could do something but you won’t? Fine, then so be it. Accept that and realise that feeling guilty or worrying won’t change the fact that you won’t take action. If you know you won’t study until the night before the test, then accept that and forget about it until the day comes. If you find you can’t forget about it, then study. Whatever you choose, the only way you’ll be at peace is by giving closure to your worries. Do it or don’t, but put an end to it in your mind.

If Your Answer Is No

Now if you can’t do anything about it, it’s a very different story. When the answer was ‘yes’ you had control over certain aspects of your situation. In this case, you most likely feel powerless. It’s one thing to choose not to act and another entirely to not be able to act.

Going back to the exam situation, let’s say you took it and feel you didn’t do well. What can you do about it? Realistically, nothing. Your teacher will grade your exam and all you can do is wait for the results.

This is stressful because you fear the consequences of not doing well on your test, but you feel powerless because it’s too late to study more and you can’t retake it. The key is to understand that there’s nothing you can do, and worrying won’t change that. Although not being in control might seem like a burden, it can actually be your ticket to freedom.

Once you realise that there’s nothing you can do and that being stressed won’t change anything, the only option is letting go. If you’re able to make your mind see the rational side of it, it’ll be easier to realise that all you can do is forget about it until the results come in.

Now I know all of this is very difficult to achieve. Like I said at the beginning: easier said than done, right? But it’s still vital that we understand how this whole ‘letting go’ process should work. In order to help you actually achieve that, let’s take a look at some strategies that might help.
Strategies To Stop Worrying

Whenever we’re worried about something, it’s because we fear the consequences. There wouldn’t be a reason to be concerned with your exams if the grades didn’t stop you from passing the classes, and money wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t need it to survive. We focus on the problems that might arise and get anxious before anything even happens.

One way of easing that pain is by doing some smart thinking on these very consequences. We have a tendency to exaggerate what would happen if things went wrong, which is one of the reasons why we worry so much. When you look back, you’ll see most of your worries never came to be and were probably much more dramatic than what could have happened. This quote (usually attributed to Mark Twain) captures that feeling pretty well:

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Challenge your mind to give you concrete reasons to worry so much about everything, and you might just realise your worries might not be justified.

Now if your worries are justified, think about how big the consequences actually are. As I’ve said above, most of our fears are blown out of proportion. The best way to deal with that is by going through what would be the worst case scenario, how you would get out of it, and what is most likely to happen.

The point here is that we always find a way out, so if you force yourself to actually go through how bad the worst case scenario would be and how you would overcome it, your mind is getting used to the idea that no matter what happens, you can turn this around. It’s also a way of showing you that the consequences are usually much smaller than we make them out to be. Didn’t get the mark you needed to pass a subject in high school? You’ll do it next year; it doesn’t matter at all in the big scheme of things. Lost your life savings in an economic crash? Of course that’s much much worse, but you know you’ll survive this. There’s always a graver situation that’s been overcome before. You know you’ll find a way no matter what happens.

Letting go is about determining whether you can do something or not, and then acting on that information. It’s also about realising that our problems are much more manageable than we tend to realise. In the end, people who are at peace and comfortable with letting go understand that 90% of what we worry about doesn’t matter in the slightest. Once we focus on what is truly important, it becomes harder and harder to care about all the small annoyances of life.

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