Think Your Way to a Better Life

Our thoughts are extremely powerful and either get us where we want to go or hinder us and hold us back from what we want to achieve so how do we think our way to a better life?

1. Realize the Importance of the Way you Think

I think the first step has to be realizing how influential your thoughts are in getting what you want out of life. If you realize their importance then you will make more effort in controlling your thoughts and focussing on the positive; if you don't realize their importance then you may just let your mind wander wherever is more natural for you and that may not be where you want to go. We need to take control of our thoughts before we can make them act for our good.

2. Take Note of Negative Thought Patterns and Take Steps to Overcome Them

Once you understand the important of your thoughts it is time to start taking note of your negative thought patterns that do not help you achieve what you want in life. Are you a procrastinator? Do you think that you will put off until tomorrow what should have been done yesterday? Do you commit self-sabotage? Do you think yourself into not succeeding at anything because you don't believe you will? Does negativity drain you of any energy you could put into more positive action? All of these thought patterns can be overcome and your mind can be trained to think right.

3. The Power of Affirmations and Visualization

Not only do you need to overcome negative thought patterns but you also need to train yourself to think positively and the best tools for this are visualization and affirmation. Visualization focusses you on what you want to achieve. It is a deliberate thinking about where you want to be. Affirmations fill your mind with positive thoughts and confessions and help you think positively and go after what you want in life. Picture yourself where you want to be instead of focussing on what you don't want in your life.

Why is Positive Thinking so Important Anyway?

In the first point I said you need to realize the importance of positive thinking, but why is it important? The fact is that when we focus on the negative we are drained of all energy and will become depressed and find it difficult to achieve the things we want to achieve. When we focus on what we want to become we find ways of making it happen. We have more energy to carry out the plans we develop for achieving our goals and gradually our life becomes totally different as we take these small actions and change the way we think.

Start taking control of your thoughts today - think positively, develop plans and visualize where you want to be instead of focusing on where you are. 

Before anything can happen it needs to begin as a thought; so think right.

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How to Find Inspiration After Experiencing Big Failure

I am sure that you have heard the saying that if you have never failed at anything, then you never tried anything.

This saying is quite true. Ask the big captains of industry and the inventors of things that changed the face of humanity and they will tell you how they kept moving from failure to failure.

I certainly agree with those who say that the real challenge is not in falling, it is rather in your ability to rise up after every failure.

How to Deal With Failure Properly

Learning to deal with failure is not something you start learning when you are an adult.

It is actually something you have to learn while you are still going to college. This is the reason why I am starting this article by looking at the common instances of failure while you are still in school and college.

I have also looked at rejection when you apply for a place in college or a job. You will certainly be glad to hear that when you fail, you are not the fist and you will certainly not be the last.

These are common failures many people experience:


Failure In College

I still remember when I arrived in college for the first time.

It had not yet dawned on me that college was a lot different from high school. No one had told me that essay writing in college is something which requires research and diligence.

I just thought that I would use my natural intelligence and everything will be fine.

I was in for a rude awakening. For the first time in my life, I got a mark below 50%. However, this never happened again, one of my professors told me that I could order an essay and just give the instruction “write my essay”.

Essay writing services helped me a lot to understand how a college assignment should be written. As you can see it was through failure that I discovered a very important lesson.


Expulsion
Another big failure for many students in college is being expelled.

While I was in college, two of my friends were expelled; one for failing to hand over the minimum number of assignments for a given semester and another one for presenting work of another student as his own.

My friend actually thought that since the assignments were going to be marked by different professors, they would not see that the work was the same.

He was wrong, the college was now using a new system where all assignments were checked for plagiarism.

In the event that another assignment had already been submitted to this system, if you attempted to submit another one which is the same, the system would flag it.

His biggest problem was that even when he had been caught, he refused to accept that he had done something wrong. So he was put before a disciplinary committee which found him guilty.


Rejected College Application

Another big source of disappointment for many college students is when they fail to get space in a college that they want to go to.

There is usually more competition when it comes to getting into your good colleges. Many more people are rejected at such colleges than are accepted. I do not think that this should be viewed as a failure at all.


It is not about the college you go to but rather your character and what you can do with your degree.

I would rather work with someone who went to a less known college but has a great work ethic than someone who has been to the Ivy League with a wrong attitude.


A Job Taken By Someone Else

Only after leaving college do you see that it is a jungle out there.

Sooner than later, those expectations of a corner office with air conditioning start to fade away with each regret letter you get from the employers of your choice.

It is easy to start thinking that maybe something is wrong with you. Well, nothing is wrong with you, there are millions of other graduates competing for the same job you are vying for and the very same corner office you have in your imagination.

Sometimes you know that the job was going to be yours if it had not been stolen by someone who already knows someone else in the company. You feel hurt because you know you could do a great job if you had been given the chance.


How to Find Inspiration After Experiencing Big Failure

The good thing about failure is that it is actually not the end. You can use the following tips to find inspiration after failure:


1. Accept Your Weaknesses

Every human being has weaknesses.

The first thing you need to do after failing is to accept that it has happened to you because failure happens to human beings.

Accepting this helps you to accept that this is not a reflection of your life as a whole. It is just a temporary setback.


2. Accept That Everyone Fails

Show me anyone who has never failed in their lives and I will show you someone who has never lifted a finger. Everybody has had experience of failure before. This should comfort you.


3. Accept That You Are In Control.

When you are expelled from college, your application is rejected or someone else takes a job you thought was yours; it is easy to blame others for it. When you stop the blame game and take responsibility, you are growing.

It helps you to address any deficiencies you may have.


4. See the Lesson

The biggest thing you can take from failure is the lesson it has taught you.

This gives you a chance to examine your life. It gives you a chance to introspect.

If there are any weaknesses you need to address, you will only be able to see them after doing this soul searching. There are many lessons I would never have learned if I had not failed.


5. Pain Helps You Grow

You will find inspiration if you accept that the pain you get from failure helps you to grow. There are certain things you will not understand until you have had a chance to live then.

For example, you would not know what it feels like to lose a job unless you had lost one before. We only learn the feeling of losing a loved one after we have lost a loved one. That is the essence of life.
6. It Gives Material For Stories

If you have ever listened to a story about how someone succeeded against the odds, you are essentially listening to a story about failure. The reason why the story is moving you is because someone has learned from the failures of their lives.


Summary

Failure should never be considered as something permanent.

It only becomes permanent if you allow it to defeat you. It’s something that happens to all human beings who have ambitions.

If we look at the lessons we can learn from our failure, we will soon realize that in order to succeed we have to be prepared to fail. It should never be seen as the end, but rather the beginning of a new way of looking at life.
Has this helped you find inspiration after experiencing failure? Leave a 

comment below.

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The Answer Is The Question ... Asking The Right Questions!

We all have questions about our lives, directions, and destinies. It is the curiosity of the unknown that intrigues us to ask of the future. It is the stress of the present and events of the past that cause us to wish for a future. But, under circumstances and with events that create stresses and distortions, our questions, demands, and wishes can create a future that is specifically implemented to answer our questions.

The future is not written in stone, but is instead etched on a napkin based on the events of the present. When we ask a question, issue a wish, or make a demand of the Universe, it listens closely. It then establishes the path and creates a future for us to receive the necessary answer.

Of course, we only ask questions based on our past experiences. In many cases we ask general, non-specific questions, while in others we are specific of objectives not in line with our desires and vision. We tend to focus on the past to query for a future, which produces yet another path to answer questions for long past events. As we ask, we experience, and we learn. If we don't learn, then we ask the same questions and live the same experiences.

One of the common questions I hear is, "Why is life so hard?" That question, along with the accompanying thoughts and energies, creates a future to show the hard life, and its reasons, to provide the answer. We experience what we ask and demand. A better question would be, "How do I create a successful life?" This question, with its energies and thoughts, will create a future to show the path to success.

It is not so much that the Universe takes the time to tend to our questions, demands, and wishes. It is the energies that we produce as we think and query that creates the circumstances in our future. To pose the right queries and demands, think of the future and how to get there in the manner you desire --- as opposed to considering the past and how to avoid certain events and circumstances.

Past energies are negative with respect to future goals and objectives and they create situations such that cause fears come to fruition. Future energies are positive and they support the abstract space to create the wishes and desires we long for. However, so many are unacquainted with future energies that they immediately worry that a past event is about to occur as a result of a positive future event --- this to keep balance. However, true balance is at your fingertips and cuddled in your desires and vision. Expecting to relive past events as predestined balance will create circumstance to relive those events.

Although it is easier to oscillate at a lower energy in a comfort zone than to examine the possibilities of an unknown, yet pliable, future, plan to balance and take control of your life. Define your adjustable future by creating your present. Learn to manifest positive destinies by issuing positive questions and demands of the Universe. Be knowledgeable, be specific, and be direct in your questions and demands as it all comes down to the fact that we truly get what we ask for.

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10 Habits That Lower Self-Esteem and Cause Depression

When our self-esteem is low, which is typical of codependency, we're at greater risk for depression. Codependency is learned, and so are self-esteem and the beliefs and habits that cause both low self-esteem and codependency. Self-esteem is what we think about ourselves. It includes positive and negative self-evaluations. Good self-esteem is a realistic, positive self-concept. It reflects self-respect and implies a feeling of worth that's not determined by comparison to, or approval from, others. Self-acceptance (which some writers include as part of self-esteem) is even deeper. It's a feeling of being good enough, neither perfect, nor inadequate. We feel we have worth and are lovable, not merely because of beauty, talent, achievement, intelligence, status, or popularity. It's a sense of inner contentment.

We each have intrinsic value, not based on how we perform or what we do or give. Just as every baby and breed of animal are unique and worthy of love, so are we. Unfortunately, as codependents, many of us grew up in families where love was nonexistent, conditional, or had to be earned. We believed that we had to earn or win the love of a parent. As a result, we're afraid to be authentic for fear we may be disliked. We may pursue people who cannot love and reject those who love us. We "over-do" or "over-give" in relationships and at work, and end up feeling resentful, used, or exploited.

Habits that Damage Self-Esteem

If you conclude that self-esteem is essential to enjoying your life and enjoying enduring, healthy relationships, you're right! The following bad habits, typical of codependents, can make you feel insecure, ashamed, anxious, sad, and hopeless:

Negatively compare yourself to others

Find fault with yourself

Tyrannize yourself with "Should's"

Project self-criticism onto others and imagine they're judging you

Don't try new things to avoid failing

Procrastinate

Doubt your instincts and decisions

Ignore your needs and wants

Don't set boundaries and allow abuse, criticism, or exploitation

Refuse to forgive yourself

When we compare ourselves to someone else, whether favorably or unfavorably, we are measuring ourselves by an external standard. Feeling "better than" someone is really a means to compensate for underlying shame and low self-esteem. The lift we get is false. It would be more helpful to wonder why we need to compare ourselves to someone else. When we compare ourselves negatively, it's self-shaming. We feel inferior, lose confidence, and like ourselves less. It depresses our mood and discourages us.

An active "inner critic" besieges us with what we should and should not do and second-guesses what we've already done. Habitual fault-finding can cause us to assume others see us as we see ourselves. In this way, we project our critic onto others and anticipate and feel the effects of criticism or judgment that we imagine, even when none occurs.

Lowered self-confidence causes us to fear making mistakes, looking foolish, or failing. Our self-esteem is always on the line, so it's safer not to try anything new to avoid appearing incompetent or not succeeding. This is another reason we procrastinate tasks or experiences that are new or challenging. At the same time, we nag and criticize ourselves for failure to accomplish our goals. Rather than take a chance, we make ourselves wrong for not trying, which ensures "failure" and low self-esteem.

Accommodating others from an early age leaves us unsure of our values and beliefs and encourages reliance on others. Decision-making becomes difficult, even paralyzing. Low self-esteem and shame heighten our fear of making mistakes, leading to self-doubt, insecurity, and indecision. Instead, we procrastinate or look to others for validation, opinions, and answers, which further undermines our self-trust and self-esteem.

Accommodating others also alienates us from our needs and wants. By not acknowledging, expressing, and meeting our needs and wants, we're admitting to ourselves and others that they're not important; ergo, that we're not important. On the other hand, taking responsibility to meet our needs and/or ask for them (such as asking for a raise) builds self-esteem. When we don't, we feel helpless and a victim of circumstances and other people.

Not feeling worthy of love and respect - which we deny to ourselves - makes us vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. We don't feel worthy of being treated well, and deny, excuse, or rationalize being abused or disrespected. Dependent upon others' approval, we're afraid to set boundaries lest we alienate those we love or need. We're quick to blame ourselves and readily accept blame from others, because we're guilt-ridden due to shame. Although we forgive the mistakes of others, especially if we receive an apology, we're not as kind to ourselves. Apologies to ourselves don't count. In fact, we can punish ourselves or hold a grudge against ourselves for years over past mistakes.

Treatment for Low Self-Esteem and Depression 

Fortunately, we can grow our self-esteem and increase our capacity for self-fulfillment. It will enhance our creativity, ambition, physical and emotional health, loving relationships, and resilience in the face of adversity. It is the key to success.

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Ways To Increase Motivation

What pulls you, drives you, pushes you?

It might seem like the people around us are very polarized -- some people want to make a difference to the environment, while others want to retire at 50 -- but research shows that humans are actually much more complex and multifaceted than this.

It isn't just one thing that motivates and allows us to make that motivation breakthrough, but many things all at once. Researchers have narrowed down the many motivators to a few distinct categories. If you want to get to that motivation place within, then here are a few pointers that will aid in your self help motivation.

Goal Setting

Setting goals can improve motivation and get you moving. But when setting goals make sure they feel achievable, realistic, and that they really do motivate you. Improving your average sale at work may not push your buttons, though it looks good on a resume -- so what does push your buttons? Saving up for a holiday to Fiji? Taking art classes at night?

These sorts of goals might inspire you to push your average sale up, for example, more than just focusing on improving your work performance.

Goals should feel exciting. They are tied in with your dreams you have for your future. If, however, you find that your goal setting is too daunting or feels to difficult, you may have overreached what you feel is capable and achievable. Instead of writing a novel, maybe just start with a short story.

Then work your way up to 5 stories. Once you have completed 10 stories, even if it takes a whole year, writing a novel may not freak you out. It will probably feel more achievable by then.

Understanding Your Drives

According to a study published by the Incentive Research Foundation in 2011, there are four basic drives that determine human motivation: acquiring, comprehending, bonding and defending.

Acquiring is about the tangible benefits we can gain e.g. money, skills, training, promotions, respect, etc.

Comprehending has to do with doing something we feel is meaningful, such as working with complex ideas, creativity, or participating in a job that makes a difference to the world. Bonding all about friendship, camaraderie, and social connection.

Defending takes into account issues around fairness and justice -- we are more motivated to work with and for people who treat us (and others) well, than those who treat us (and others) unfairly.

While some people may feel they lean more towards one drive than another, the studies show humans actually need a balance of all four areas. Failing in one area can negatively impact how we feel about all other areas. When you achieve a holistic balance of all four drives, you naturally access that motivation place within, make that motivation breakthrough, and become highly motivated.

Teaming Up

Setting goals, chanting affirmations, working on projects -- it all helps, but sometimes you just need a bit more external support.

Some of us thrive from working alone, the triumph is all the more great once you reach the finish line all by yourself. But some of us are team players. Support, camaraderie, creative collaboration -- working with others brings a lot to our lives and the things we are trying so desperately to achieve.

If you are not sure what you prefer, just try it. Invite someone to collaborate on a project, partner up with some like-minded colleagues, or join a group. Not only does this sort of networking provide you wish fresh perspectives and ideas, it also provides accountability. Tell people about your goals and projects.

It can really motivate you to know that someone supports your dreams, and is cheering you on.

Conserving Energy

Increasing motivation is hard when you are tired. Often people are hard-working and dedicated to their goals. But dedication can lead to fatigue, if you don't pace yourself and self-manage your energy output. Even when you love what you do, even when you feel happy and excited, the mind and body need to rest.

Being "on" all the time, or worse, experiencing chronic stress, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion that feels as if it leeches into every part of life. At this point, you need to be realistic. It is hard to be motivated if you have pushed your system too hard.

To increase your motivation, the best thing you can do is take time out and re-fuel. Take a break from your goals, take a break even from your career or job, just for a little while, if it is possible.

People who care about you always want to help out. Ask those around you to share the load, so you can get away for a while. Ask yourself how long -- you know the answer. One weekend? A week? A month?

Soon as you get the rest you need, being motivated and enthusiastic about your goals becomes a whole lot easier.

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The Power Of Positive Self Esteem

Individuals who believe in themselves and have confidence in their self worth are better equipped to rise to today's challenges.

Positive self esteem pushes you beyond your boundaries. It lets us to take pride in our achievements no matter how small. The stronger your self esteem, you are able to respond more appropriately to the opportunities and troubles in our personal lives and careers.

Self appraisals are critical to life. What we think about ourselves shapes our perspective of life. It determines:

The goals we set

The values we live by

The people we interact with

And, how we confront challenges.

The one and only way to meet these challenges is to have a high self esteem.

Believe in yourself

Positive self esteem is essential for healthy psychological development. In its absence, psychological and emotional growth remains stunted. When faced with difficulties, it is easy to breakdown. Positive self esteem provides mental strength and resilience. It provides the capacity for regeneration. Every time, you doubt yourself, remember a time in life when you were successful, and transform that doubt into confidence.

Be Ambitious

Survival is primary to us humans, but it is not the only thing. High self esteem allows you to see yourself in a better place; physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, romantically and creatively. So, be ambitious and reach for goals that put you in a higher, finer and superior class. Expect more from life.

Competitive Goals

This is what positive self esteem does; it inspires you to achieve more than what you believe you can. People look for more demanding goals. They constantly challenge themselves, by breaking old records and setting new ones. Their achievements further boost their self esteem.

Transparent and Direct Communication

Having a high self esteem implies valuing yourself for the person you are - be it your physical appearance or the value and ideas you stand by. Such individuals are not afraid of making their thoughts known. They want to be understood and hence welcome clarity. Their communication is honest, direct and transparent. Along with speaking, they also make good listeners giving other's opinions equal value.

Love and Compassion

The goodness and positivity that exists within reflects on the outside. People with high self esteem are loving and compassionate towards others. This because they regard others in the same way they regard themselves. They prefer to have a few nourishing relationships than many toxic ones. They give up relationships that require them to pretend.

Attractiveness

It is not physical attractiveness, but a spiritual attractiveness. They reverberate with confidence. It is their expansiveness and vitality that draws others closer to them.

Forgiveness

We think of self esteem as respecting and admiring ourselves and having faith in our capabilities. But it is also about knowing one's limitations. It includes an acceptance and tolerance of other's weaknesses as well. For this, it is important to be forgiving.

Solid Value System

The self-assuredness in people with high self esteem comes from a solid foundation of values. It is the foundation of their lives. They stand up for it. These values are not governed by external circumstances and neither does it change according to the expectations of others. It becomes their identity and they refuse to compromise on them.

Optimism

There are two ways you can look at life - as a glass half full or a glass half empty. People with high self esteem choose the first. They don't mull over what's negative, but rather search for the positives even in the most distressing situations.

Self -Perfection

A self-confident person accepts the fact that they are not perfect. However, this realization does not turn out to be self-deprecating. Instead, it motivates them to work towards improvement. In this process of self improvement, they don't hesitate to ask other people for help if needed. They welcome all kinds of criticism.

Honest Self-Appraisals

What people with high self esteem are able to do best is conduct unbiased self appraisals. They probe into the positives and the negatives. Their judgment is not subjective, but very realistic.

Constant Success

It is impossible to be successful all the time. Even the most competent and talented individuals have to face failure at some point. However, those with high self esteem experience a constant sense of accomplishment. For them, even failures are opportunities to improve themselves.

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Why Reinvent Yourself?

What does reinvent yourself mean, and why would you do it? First of all, you are here now, already invented. Who are you, and what are you all about? You must answer this question before you can begin to take charge of your life, plan, and implement your plan to take your life in a different direction. Also, by spending time to define and understand your life as it is, you can think about how it turned out that way.

For some folks, the reinvention is to find a new job. Others want a change of scenery. They choose to live somewhere else. It is heartbreaking for everyone involved, but some decide to leave their family to start over, and in rarer instances, they leave their name, their heritage, and even their beliefs behind in order to start with a blank sheet of paper. Of course, none of these actions guarantee a rise in your happiness. Things will be different. Perhaps, it is better to test drive before you make a drastic change in your life.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Just because you thought of it, does not make that a good idea." Perhaps you need the counsel of a wise person who is a trusted friend. Wise means level-headed, experienced, and someone who must be convinced. It does you no good to take a thought to a friend who always agrees with everything that you want to do. Also, should you confide in social media freak, that person may broadcast your thought widely, which could compel you to reinvent before you were ready to make that decision.

There is another side to this. Do you have family responsibilities, moral obligations, or will people suffer because you choose to abandon them? Many people look back on the tragedies in their lives in order to self-analyze how they handled them. The ones who say that they did the best they could to "right the ship," can justifiably take pride as they identify themselves to be among the heart and soul of humanity. But, if you decide to reinvent, to walk away from everyone and everything important in your life, then you will have to be satisfied with your "it's all about me above everything else" decision. If no one else could count on you, then why does anyone anywhere need you around? That is harsh, but this is why you should be careful, consult with a trusted friend, and plan your reinvention to be least hurtful to others. Guilt is a poor substitute for unhappiness.

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Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Sometimes we have to do things that make us feel uncomfortable so that we can grow. As individuals we often stay in our "safe places" because we don't want to stretch ourselves to think bigger and do bigger. So we just stay in a place of comfort, even though that place of comfort is no longer bringing us life satisfaction. But to grow and go to the next level you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That means you have to become comfortable with change.

Transformation can seem scary, but if you want to experience something different in your life then it is going to take you doing something different. When we are divinely being led to do things often they seem bigger than us, and that makes us hesitant to pursue those goals and dreams. But it is important to remember that God will never lead you to do anything that is too big for you to conquer.

Moving forward with faith makes all of the difference. When you stretch your faith it can give you the confidence to move forward in a powerful way. Faith can also minimize any fear or uncomfortable feelings. Faith might not get rid of them all, but faith can surely make you feel less uncomfortable.

Many of us can look back and see that there were times when we were extremely uncomfortable with change because of the unknown. But in the end many times we were glad that we decided to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Sometimes things in our lives will only change with change.

Plan your next steps of action carefully and don't be afraid to get out of the box, don't just think out of the box, but get out of the box and just go for it. That doesn't mean that you do things that will cause you financial hardship, but what it does mean is that you begin to start expecting more out of your life. Life is too short not too.








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How to Get Self Confidence: Some Timeless Tips For Getting It Back!

Self confidence, the word itself has the power to lift those discouraged souls. Do you know the way you think about yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. So it is very important to have a high self esteem. Many a times people just sit back and feel helpless at their condition instead of trying to overcome such situations. All this eventually fills them with unsureness and disbelief. And, this is the point where an individual's self confidence starts dwindling.

This shattered confidence can adversely affect one's personality leading to dull and dejected behaviors. Therefore, to get rid of such circumstances, one has to feel positive about his existence and the work he does. Here are some simple yet powerful tips to get you out of such gloomy situations, which in turn will fill you up with extreme self confidence and good will.

Stick To Your Thoughts, Take Action, and Get It Done: Don't hesitate to take action if you know you are right. This is the best confidence booster and will make you learn yourself better. Don't overthink, what has to be done, has to be done. So just move on with high spirits. All this will fill you up with more zeal and confidence.

Learn to Face Your Fears, Instead of Cursing Yourself: There is no better way of achieving a higher self esteem than facing your fears with full confidence. Just be curious about the things going on in your surroundings. Realize that fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation and has nothing to do with your self esteem. Believe this, this is enough to make you feel confident.

Take Things As It Happens, Don't Take Life So Seriously: Always be prepared for the worst and try to handle the situations with a positive attitude. Take things as it happens. There is nothing to worry about. Life is a mixture of good and bad memories, try to take inspiration from your every good and bad. In this way you will feel more confident.

Learn To Accept Your Failures, They Will Not Kill You: Another great tip to enhance your self confidence is to learn to accept your failures. You will gain a good experience with such a behavior, and it will make you stronger and better than the best. Such a step will increase your chances of becoming successful at every point.

So whenever you are down and don't know which way to go, just give your self confidence a boost with these simple yet timeless tips.


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5 Strategies to Keep Your Compliments and Build Your Confidence

5 Strategies to Keep Your Compliments and Build Your Confidence

How do you feel when someone pays you a sincere compliment? Great, right?


That compliment has more to offer than giving your spirits a momentary boost. You can put that simple compliment to work for you in ways you might never have thought of. Let's explore further.

1. Keep your compliments.

When someone compliments you, write it down. Value it and keep every single compliment that anyone ever pays you. Put it in a journal, a Compliments Catalog, if you will. Or keep a special file or folder online. Whatever method you use, record every compliment verbatim.

2. Embrace your fabulousness.
Positive feedback can be harder to accept than negative. Really make an effort in the moment to take the commendation in. It's a tribute to your skills, expertise, and effort. Accept it as the gift that it is.

The value of this feedback is more than making you feel good in the moment. When you're able to embrace it, you increase your confidence. Re-read it later, maybe at a time when you're feeling down or about to go into a big meeting or call. Any time you feel disconnected from yourself and need to be reminded.

Re-reading your compliments help you sustain your confidence level and your motivation. It's a lot easier to maintain than to build back up, so put your energy into maintenance.


3. Spread the joy.

Let people know the positive feedback about you or your business. To be respectful, check with the complimenter first, and if they're OK with it, share the joy. Social media or your website are great places to let people know what others have said. It's called, 'social proof.' Proof that others think you're exceptional. It'll raise your respect quotient and your online capital.

4. Amp up your bio.

Include recurring compliments in your online bio on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. Or in the bio you provide to someone who is introducing you as a speaker.

You can take this even further in your marketing. Stories are valuable marketing currency we can all use to share our businesses with each other. Sharing stories of how you helped a client (or team member or supplier) allows for more and valuable connections with your audience. People will take notice if your bio is different and personal. Include a brief story behind a testimonial you received.

5. Pay compliments forward.

You can have an impact on other people's confidence too. When you have a great experience with them or their business, let them know. Then they can start their own compliments journal. You'll deepen your connections and expand your impact with some simple words of sincere praise. It's a valuable gift to others.

Value your compliments. You can use them in many ways to boost yourself and your business.

Here's one from me to you: I think you're brave and smart. Ready to embrace that?





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10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?

Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?

Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.

In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.

Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.

10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:

1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist

If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.

You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.

2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.

In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.

3. You Are Self-Motivated

Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.

You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.

4. You Care About Others

People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.

That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.

You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarise their statements and questions to show that you understand.

5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

If you have high emotional intelligence, you realise that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.

You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.

You recognise that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.

6. You’re Not Easily Distracted

You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.

You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognise the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.

You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.

7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance

No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognise the importance of making time for a social life.

You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.

You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.

You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.

8. You Know When to Say ‘No’

You have a lot of self-discipline.

Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognise that you can’t do everything.

You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”

Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.

9. You Don’t Fear Change

You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognise that it leads to better things.

10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions

You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.

You know that anger needs to be properly channelled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.

You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.

If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.

Summary

How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!

You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.

Simple things such as writing about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.

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