Why Every Successful Person Sets Goals

Have you ever heard of any successful people, super achievers or elite performers who don't set goals at all?

Honestly I have not.

Goal setting is an important aspect in both your professional and personal lives. Without having goals to strive for, we won't be able to measure our success or achievements. We won't be able to spot our weaknesses and improve ourselves. We won't be able to target our strengths and fully unleash our potential.

While setting goals is crucial to getting what you want in life, what other amazing benefits do this simple act bring you that make all the successful people love?

#1 Control and Certainty

By regularly setting goals and achieving them you are taking control of your life.

This is an empowering mindset, attitude and behavior to have because you are acknowledging that life doesn't 'just happen to you'. There is a lot that is within your control when it comes to creating the ideal life you want and working towards the direction that's right for you.

#2 Optimism and Positivity

Apart from being certain about the future you're heading, setting goals and taking action to achieve them will influence you to have a more positive and optimistic outlook.

This vibe of positivity will help you build stronger mental resilience, which is essential to help you keep going when things become tough or when you got hit by challenges.

Instead of feeling down, depressed or defeated by the hardships, your resilience, optimism and mental toughness will ensure that you see the temporary setback as it is and pick yourself up using your personal power to find a creative way to overcome it.

#3 Wellbeing

Through goal setting you will have created a long-term plan for your life. In your mind, you've created a vision of what you want and worked out a way to get there.

This sense of purpose gives you a feeling of hope that you can achieve what you want. These are all positive emotions which have powerful effects on your mental and physical wellbeing.

Stress levels will be reduced, as will the likelihood of depression emerging. While you are working towards achieving your goals, you will increase your levels of focus and your ability to use it at will to help you get the results you want.

#4 Getting Into Flow State

The regular setting of meaningful goals ensures that you maximize opportunities to utilize the power of flow.

This miraculous flow state occurs when:

you have a meaningful goal;

position yourself away from external distractions;

have all the necessary resources at hand;

have matched the task to your abilities so that it contains enough challenge to keep you motivated and engaged but not too little so that you become bored; and

immerse yourself in the task completely.

Getting into the flow state not only helps you achieve goals, but it also drastically elevates your productivity, relieves stress and increases happiness. The benefits of the flow state have been recorded by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the Hungarian positive psychologist who wrote the famous book <Flow: The Psychology of Happiness>.

By having goals, you are increasing your chances of success. You are also taking positive steps to creating the life or business that you want.

While it seems to take a lot of effort setting goals at the beginning, the benefits you experience will far outweigh any time spent creating, monitoring and meeting them. If you desire to become a more productive, optimistic and proactive, then you should definitely follow what other successful people do - setting goals.

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What Is Your Goal Challenge?

Setting goals seems to be the talk of the town these days. They never seem to go out of style because they make the difference between success and failure.

Setting up a goal challenge for yourself is one of the best ways to get up to speed with your own life. Why is that? Because we all love a challenge. Challenges force us to bring to the table the forces of motivation that we all have.

Are you up to the task? If we want something bad enough how hard a worker would you be to get it? I know I wanted to have a new bike when I was a teenager. The only way I knew how to earn money is through a local paper route.

Seems easy enough but I had to wake up way before school started, fold the newspapers and then deliver them before the sun came up. But I did it and I made enough money to get the bike I wanted.

I know it doesn't sound like much of a goal to you but to me at the time it was one of the best times of my life.

Fast forward to later in life where I wanted more in life than just a bike. I was working full time and going to college to get my degree so that I could qualify to take a test for promotion purposes. It took me 4 years but I did it. I made the grade and entered a career I was proud to be part of.

I couldn't do any of those things unless I made up my mind to do it. I created my own goal plans and challenged myself to meet the demands.

Call them professional goals or personal goals because to me they are both the same. Goals make us whole. Goals make us feel better. Goals help us define our character and allow us to enter a world only the successful people have.

We can be in the upper echelon of people who feels good every single day. Goals are easy to define and even to set up. It's easy to write down the steps to achieve what we want out of life.

The hard part is starting and maintaining motivation is to keep doing what we have to do. Once we achieve even one goal then we know we have the power within us to achieve even more.

That's the beauty of goals where if we do one then anything we write down and define we can achieve.

How dedicated are YOU to getting what YOU want out of life? 

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Accept Who You Are

What is self-acceptance? How do you accept yourself? When you discover, yourself do you just stay like that? Well, these are the questions that an individual asks him or herself. Many people don't accept for who they are. And most of these people end up being failures.

Let us first describe what self-acceptance is. Self-acceptance involves accepting your weakness and negative habits. But the question is, do you accept and do nothing about your weaknesses or attitude? Do you give in to your laziness and look for excuses for leaving everything as it is? Well when you accept yourself and not doing any improvement to improve your habits, then that is not technically self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance. 

Many people don't usually understand the term self-acceptance. The term self-acceptance itself is not well explained either. In self-acceptance, accepting yourself is only the first step of the long journey of self-improvement. Just acceptance does not contribute to any self-progress and self-improvement in any way. A point to be duly noted is that you do not accept your fate or life as it is.

Weaknesses habits 

You must first become aware of your weaknesses habits and your personality. You must look at yourself as you currently are. After you have accepted who you are, then you begin to put yourself in a better or improved position, unlike the current one you are in.

Knowing yourself

knowing yourself opens the doors of possibilities of your capabilities. Through that, then you can devise ways to improve yourself. Self-improvement requires the understanding and deeply knowing your character; habits quit the comparisons you make of yourself with other people and knowing your capabilities or the lack of them. Doing this will comfort you by getting rid of guilt, bring about happiness and lightness

I accept myself as I am 

"This is who I am. I accept myself as I am. I take my failure, my fate, my achievements and this is how it will always be". This is just an excuse that many people make to feel better because of maybe constant failings or regular unpleasant occurrences. The first thing that should be noted is that these deficiencies happen because of not genuinely engaging yourself or self-assessment.

No one is a failure or a disappointment. All it takes is for a person to know his or her personality, habit, character and failures then, start building from there. Then initiate the improvement process. Sooner or later, you will be amazed at what you can do.

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12 Powerful Ways to Reduce Your Anxiety

If you’re anything like me you have been there many times.

You’re sitting in a waiting room. Or just waiting somewhere.

Soon it will begin.

Your leg is starting to shake nervously. Your hands are starting to sweat and maybe your mouth feels a bit dry. Your thoughts are becoming jumbled, it is hard to focus and to think as clearly as you usually do.

Maybe you have an important test in school. A job interview. An appointment with your doctor or dentist. A date that you are looking forward to but at the same time you are scared to make a fool of yourself on.

Whatever it may be it is making you anxious.

Today I’d like to share 12 things that have helped me to reduce anxiety in such situations.

These tips are for low or medium levels of anxiety. They are not intended for anxiety attacks or anything that serious. I know nothing about such things and would recommend that you seek professional help in such situations.


1. Breathe.

Sit down, in a quiet place if possible. Breathe a little deeper than usual and do it with your belly and not with your chest. For just a minute or two focus on only the air going in and out of your nostrils. Nothing else.

This will calm your mind and body down. And it will bring your attention back to the present moment instead of it being lost in scary, future scenarios or bad memories from the past.

2. Get good knowledge.

Dispel the clouds of uncertainty and vague fears by researching what you have anxiety about. By talking to people who have done what you are about to do or want to do – or by reading what they have written – you can build a more realistic blueprint with both positives and negatives of how things are likely to go.

And learn how to improve in the area that gives you anxiety. Do research on the best ways to become better at and less nervous when – for instance – doing public speaking, job interviews or presentations at work or in school.

3. Do a quick workout.

I like to lift heavy weights for about 15-20 minutes when I feel worried, stressed or anxious. It makes me feel stronger both in mind and body. It releases inner tensions and relaxes me.

Others go out for a quick run, walk or bike ride when they feel anxious. Find a way to exercise that fits you and lets you reap these benefits and counteract anxiety.

4. Focus on something else.

Sometimes it is more helpful to simply redirect your mind instead of thinking about what creates your current anxiety. Especially if you have no control over the situation that causes the anxiety like for example an upcoming doctor’s visit or appointment with the dentist.

So focus your attention somewhere else for a while and recharge it with something positive.

Watch a couple of episodes of your favorite sit-com or TV-series. Read your favorite online forum. Have relaxing or upbeat night out with friends.

Do something that takes your mind off the situation that causes anxiety, even if it is just for a few hours. After that recharge you will not only likely feel better but you will also be in a better headspace and at a higher energy level to handle the anxious situation.

5. Don’t forget to eat.

When I forget to eat because I am stressed and anxious then that only tends to worsen my state of mind. It becomes harder to think clearly and negative scenarios more easily pop up in my mind.

So even if you do not feel that hungry keep an eye on the time and if you may be running low on fuel.


6. Change your focus to what you can do right now.

When you ask yourself questions that make you feel powerless or like things will only get worse and worse then you take away your personal power.

Empower yourself by instead asking yourself:

What is one small thing I can do to improve upon this situation today?

Write down that question and brainstorm answers for a few minutes. Then take action on one of the answers you find. It doesn’t have to be a big action, just one small step forward. And when you are done with it then take another one.

This direction forward will make you feel like you are starting to regain control over your life again, it will make you feel at least a bit more confident and it, in my experience, tends to reduce the anxiety.


7. Question your worries and anxiety.

Look to your own past and ask yourself:

How many situations that I have been anxious about in the past have turned out to be exaggerations or making a mountain out of a molehill in my mind?

Question your anxiety and worries instead of letting them roam freely.

8. Remember: You have handled tough situations in the past.

When you are standing in the middle of anxiety and fear bubbling up within then it is easy to get dragged down with it. To lose faith in yourself and your abilities.

When that happens focus on your breathing first to calm and clear your mind. Then look to the past for a bit of strength and confidence in what you can do.

Doing this helps me to go from feeling powerless to feeling like I am standing on firmer ground again.

9. Let the feeling in to let it go.

Sometimes an anxious feeling can feel sticky and vague. You don’t know exactly where it is coming from or what is causing it. It can be hard to get rid of.

A bit of an odd solution that has worked well for me in such situations is this:

When you feel a negative feeling then allow and accept that feeling. Don’t try to keep it out. Don’t try to fight it. Even though many of us have learned to do those two things to negative feelings throughout life.

Instead, this time, just let it in and observe the feeling in your mind and body without judging it.

If you let it in and just observe it for a couple of minutes something wonderful happens. First it may feel uncomfortable and more intense. But then the feeling loses power. It weakens. Often to the point that it just vanishes.

Because when you accept the feeling and let it in you stop feeding it with more energy (as you would when you tried your hardest to keep it out or to fight it).

10. Let it out into the light.

When you keep something inside of you then your head can become an echo chamber that magnifies and doubles the anxiety and fear in a situation.

So let it out instead. Talk to someone close to you about the situation at hand. Just venting to someone who will listen can help you to get a more grounded view on what’s happening.

Or the two of you can discuss it and help you to reclaim your power by making a small, intial plan for how you can reduce the anxiety about this situation by taking some kind of action.

11. Stay in the present moment.

Anxiety is often a fear of something you think will happen in future.

One way to reduce that anxiety is to simply stay with your attention in the present moment as much as you can. Perhaps you make a small plan in advance to help you out but you choose to deal with the anxiety-creating situation when it will happen. Instead of spending hours each day with imagining and fearing the future and creating monsters in your mind.

The breathing technique at the start of this article is one of the best techniques I have found for returning to the present moment when you get lost in the future. Another one of my favorites you can try is this one:

Take 1-2 minutes and focus only on what’s right in front of you.

Or around you and on you. Look at what’s right in front of you. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes. Feel the warmth of the spring sun on your skin.

12. Remember: There is a brand new day tomorrow.

This reminder helps me when today or the last week may not have gone so well.

Because there will be a brand new day tomorrow. A day when you can begin again.

A day when you can take a new step to move towards what you want, likely having a bit more luck and when it will be easier to see that this difficult time is only temporary and not permanent (even if it might feel that way right now and create anxiety about the future).

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Happiness Is a State of Mind

Your happiness is not dependent on external things. If it were, it would not be possible to find lasting happiness.

Your happiness is dependent only on the state of your mind. Knowing this gives you the power to determine your own happiness.

The good news is that it means that you have a choice to be happy or not. The bad news is that you can only have this choice when you are totally aware of this fact that your happiness is entirely in your hands. This fact is unfortunately not as obvious as we would like it to be. In fact, most people cannot see this truth. For them, their mind has been so conditioned to think of getting happiness from people and things outside of themselves that to be told that they are the real source of their own happiness is quite simply unbelievable.

Yet, this is the truth. Your happiness is indeed in your hands. To be more precise, your happiness is in your mind.

You do not have to believe me. Instead, you can do an experiment on your own life. Choose to be happy, just for a day. Make it today. Make it this moment. Consciously choose to be happy, and see how your attitude and state of mind change to reflect that choice. Is your mind lighter? Less tense? Less tightly wound up? Less rigid? More open? More liberated? Simply by choosing happiness, you can immediately feel the lightness of your being.

However, if you have been conditioning your mind to be tight, unhappy and fearful all these while, do not expect that it will be easy to simply switch to be happy. It takes persistent effort. Old habits die hard. They keep coming back because they feel familiar. Therefore, to replace an old habit with a new one, you need to be aware as often as you can. Stay alert to your state of mind. Keep reminding yourself to choose happiness. Gradually train your mind to be happy, to relax and to lighten up. Be aware of how you feel when your mind is in this new state. Do you feel better? Happier? Lighter? It is important to experience this new state, and be aware of it. It is very rewarding, and it will continue to motivate you to be alert and aware of your state of mind.

So, how do you make your mind happy all the time?

You simply have to keep doing this - be aware of your mental state, and make a conscious choice to be happy - every day, every moment. Make it a new habit of yours to constantly check on your mind state whenever you remember - when you wake up in the morning, when you shower, when you eat, when you take a break, when you are about to go to sleep. You can do it anytime, any place. When it has become habitual, then you will be able to be happy everyday.

Remember, happiness is a state of mind.

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Self Compassion - The New Self Esteem?

There is a lot of interesting research that has developed over the past several years about self-compassion and how it stacks up against self-esteem. The self-esteem movement in Western culture in the 70's and 80's was based on the idea that the root problem for individuals, the very issue at the core of anxiety, depression, and fractured relationships and other psychological issues, was found in low self-esteem of the individual. At the most basic level, self-esteem is about an evaluation of oneself as a good or bad person in the world.

Self Compassion

People struggling with low self-esteem may have high levels of self-criticism, chronic indecision, and struggle with perfectionism, pessimism, hostility, and guilt. Self-criticism found in low self-esteem has been linked to depression and difficulty with seeing oneself as loveable or of value as a human being.

People with high levels of self-esteem are known to fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, succeed in their life endeavors, deem themselves worthy of love, and do not spend precious time worrying excessively about what happened in the past or what will happen in the future.

Having high levels of self-esteem sounds great right?

Well, in our modern world, in order to feel good about ourselves, there seems to be an unfortunate cultural message of competition that has become intertwined with self-esteem. So, it is no longer enough to feel good about oneself solely based on yourself, rather self-esteem is now linked to being better than other people or consistently performing above the perceived average. And of course, no matter how hard you work someone else will always be smarter, richer, or what we perceive as more successful in various areas of life. We can feel fantastic about ourselves one minute and as soon as we see someone who looks like they are doing better than we are, our self-esteem can plummet and negative messages can start swirling around in our minds.

Researcher Kristen Neff suggests that this competitive culture leads to building ourselves up and tearing others down, in an effort to feel good about our own human condition. It is as if we are now on a rollercoaster ride of self-esteem. It goes up and down not only depending on what is happening in our own life, but now also depending on how we measure what is happening in our life against the life of another person or perhaps many different people.

It seems positive affirmations are not quite enough to help us feel good about ourselves in a culture of competition and getting ahead in a sustainable way. 

So what is the alternative?

Kristen Neff's research on self-compassion may be the answer. It certainly seems to be changing the way we think about achieving a state of emotional well-being and the possibilities available to us to live in the world with contentment and acceptance for our own humanity with both its challenges and delights. Self-compassion is linked to less depression, greater happiness, and more life satisfaction.

She suggests that if we stop labeling ourselves as good or bad and accept ourselves with an open heart, kindness, care, and compassion- the kind we would show to a friend- this is a way to help us avoid destructive patterns and increase the joy in our lives.

So what is self-compassion?

It is quite simply defined as a way of relating to oneself that involves treating yourself kindly regardless of what is happening in life. It is showing yourself the same care and concern for suffering that you would for a loved one.

Diving in a little deeper to the definition, Neff has identified three core components of self-compassion:

Self-kindness: this asks that we offer gentleness in language and understanding toward ourselves instead of harsh judgment and criticism, actively stopping to soothe oneself when we are in pain

Common humanity: this is recognition of our connection with others in the experience of life, rather than sinking into the isolation that comes from competition and suffering. It is about recognizing that suffering and imperfection is a shared human experience.

Mindfulness: this is about holding a balanced awareness of our experiences in life- not ignoring pain or amplifying it, but being fully in the present moment.

This can feel quite foreign if you are used to beating yourself up and the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride of self-esteem. Self-compassion gives us the opportunity to see ourselves clearly. A stable sense of self-worth developing from this kind of compassion means that when we make a mistake we can give ourselves a sense of care.

What about taking responsibility? How do we react when life is falling apart?

So this idea of self-compassion might sound like a lack of taking ownership when something goes wrong for which we bear responsibility. In reality, when we are in a cycle of up and down with our self-esteem, that is when it is actually easier to blame the other person. Why? Because when we are constantly criticizing ourselves and feeling depressed, taking on ownership for one more thing is simply too painful. We are already down and feeling horrible.

On the contrary, self-compassion gives us emotional courage to take responsibility for our actions because it is in that state that we have the emotional capacity to fully accept who we are as humans with both the pain and the joy of life. 

How do we do this?

As with most things, practice is needed to cultivate a new response. Here are a few ideas about the how of self-compassion.

Ask for Help: One of the most important points is learning that it is safe to be kind to yourself and acknowledge where you might need help. Self-compassion is about acceptance of the shared human experience of imperfection and suffering. There is no expectation that one has it all together or won't make a mistake. It is a normal human experience to need help in the midst of struggle.

Ask Questions and Listen for the Answers: Meditation teacher Jack Kornfield poses the following questions as a meditation guide and suggests we listen for deep answers from our body, heart, and spirit:

How have I treated this difficulty so far? 

How have I suffered by my own response and reaction to it? 

What great lesson might my suffering teach me? 

What does this problem ask me to let go of?

Try a New Approach: The next time you make a mistake and move toward self-ctriticism, see if you can notice it and try something different. For example, instead of that first thought that might come into your mind of, "I messed up... I am an awful worthless person" we might instead try to say,"I messed up... I am human and made a mistake- how will I use this opportunity to show self-compassion?" In the latter there is no judgment about whether one is fundamentally a good or bad person- just acceptance or responsibility and acknowledgment of our humanity. This has now become a unique opportunity about how to respond to our own suffering by turning toward it and offering it gentleness as you would toward a friend.

Jack Kornfield said, "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete".

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Bam! It's Time to Be Enthusiastic and Here's Why!

Enthusiasm is a hugely powerful tool! It can incite passion in others and it has the ability to help you hurdle any obstacles you encounter. It isn't a secret that the most successful people in the world tout enthusiasm as one of the greatest contributions to their success.

Everyone has the ability to be enthusiastic. However, not everyone chooses to emote their enthusiasm. Why don't they?

Is Enthusiasm really the 'cure all' pill of wealth, success, and happiness? Of course not! However, If you are not driven and passionate about what you aspire to, then you will never reach it!

Zig Ziglar says "If you aim at nothing you will hit is every time!"

It's quite profound if you take a moment and think about it. If we don't specifically know where we are going, then there is no way for us to find our path. We need to make conscious decisions to sprint towards our goals. We must sprint! If we walk it will take much too long to achieve our aspirations.

If you know what your goal is, there is no reason to be lazy or complacent about it! Take the reigns of your life and start heading towards where you want to be!

You want to be happier? You want to be more engaged with your family? You want to be more successful or wealthier? You want to be healthier? You want to lose weight, complete a marathon, or ask out the person of your dreams?

The only way to do this is through Enthusiasm!

Once you apply enthusiasm to your efforts, it acts as a multiplier. It amplifies any action and every result! When we are enthusiastic, it comes out in our attitudes and our actions. We have to look past obstacles and focus on what we desire. To make progress, we must run as fast as we can towards our goals.

You posses the ability to make great things happen. Don't let things happen to you, happen to the things around you. You may not always have an influence on what happens, but you are always responsible for your reactions and how you respond to events!

Here's something interesting: There was a psychological study done that showed that the 2 most common feelings that people tend to bring out in others are enthusiasm and boredom! What do you want to be viewed as?

Enthusiasm is never a bad thing! It has the power to propel you into the life that you want. The key is to be passionate and excited!

Get out there and be Enthusiastic!

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4 Ways To Simplify Your Life Right Now

In a period of information overload, there's never been a better time to simplify life.

The raging struggle of modern existence can lead to inner turmoil if we're unaware.

The key to living an inspired life is to simplify it. To gain clarity on what's important, let go of unnecessary conditions and tune into what you value most. Most people chase material possessions believing they'll be happy, only to realise it makes matters worse.

The more clutter in your life, the less capable you are of knowing what's important to you since you are distracted by insignificant issues that vie for your attention. Naturally, you react to what is taking place before you instead of what's essential.

Health, relationships, family and living my purpose are central aspects to my life nowadays. It's taken an entire lifetime to reach this point, yet it's well worth it. That which brings you joy and happiness require the least effort.

I'm drawn to the quote by Henry David Thoreau who said, "As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness."

The Law of Least Effort functions according to the principle of simplicity. Given that we evolve from nature, it makes sense to adopt this way of being in our life.

The following are four valuable points to implement right now. Apply them gradually and don't be discouraged if you don't see results at first. It requires patience and persistence for something of value to yield results. Akin to a plant, the initial stages begin with the seed sprouting beneath the soil, invisible to the naked eye. Yet, with nurturing and time, it grows into a healthy plant and so too with your habits.

1. Surround Yourself With Remarkable People

These include: friends, family, romantic partners, co-workers and those who offer you support and encouragement. Significant people are those who encourage your personal growth. They are your humble ambassadors in times of need and don't desert you through crisis. The company of such people leads to simplified living because your needs are met through close connections.

Great people inspire and strengthen you, not drain your energy. Energy vampires rob you of your vital force, so be aware them. They want to gain something and are unwilling to offer anything in return. Steer away from them, they will deprive you of your long term happiness.

2. Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

I've written about this in earlier articles. Letting go of what no longer serves you is essential to simplifying life because we free ourselves from what consumes our energy. This includes: people, things, places, relationships, travel, behaviours or habits. If it doesn't bring you joy, remove it from your life or distance yourself from it. However, don't fill the void with something else, simply allow it time to recede, so you have less to focus on. In doing so, you free up mental and emotional resources for more important matters. Create a space for something wonderful to appear and trust it will take its place, since Nature abhors a vacuum.

3. Focus On Experiences, Not Things

The lie that happiness comes from material possessions is one many fall victim to. Sure, it might offer happiness for a short while, although once it wears off you yearn for something more.

Newspapers are filled with stories of people who inherit millions of dollars, only to find themselves more miserable than before. This is not due to money per se, rather the stress associated with managing large sums of money. Accumulating material objects amplifies insecurities already present in a person.

Focus on experiences and surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones. Travel more, perform random acts of kindness, do charity work if that appeals to you. The key is to find fulfilling experiences that embody who you are. For example, I enjoy creative hobbies and feel lively when engaged in these endeavours. Find time for these activities and you'll be happy and content.

4. Be In Tune With Your Nature

When you're in tune with your nature, you connect to your source. I'm not talking about religion or spirituality, yet something greater. You are the expression of Mother Nature in all her glory. Everything from your thoughts to your body reflects the infinite powers of universal intelligence. Stay connected to your source and you'll feel the aliveness of the universe permeate through you.

How do you stay in tune with your nature? Here are steps to consider:

Be kind and compassionate to yourself and others

Think empowering thoughts

Live a healthy life

Eat whole food close to its original state

Balance your giving and receiving

Create fulfilling relationships

Be of value in your local community

Respect Mother Nature

Be of service to others

Be at peace with yourself

Think globally, act locally

We're on the verge of a new way of life, uniting spirit and matter to become conscious creators of our destiny. The old paradigm is gradually falling away to make way for the new. This isn't about a new world order, for it's much simpler than that. It's an expanding of consciousness and fading of primitive thinking, once dictated by our primal urges.

The changes herald a new way of perceiving the world via our sixth sense. People are harnessing their intuition to make sense of the world around them. Be willing to upgrade your model of reality to coincide with the change. Remove preconceived ideas about how life should play out since these concepts keep you trapped in the past.

Simplifying life brings immense joy because we need little to make us happy. Economic studies in Australia suggest households on a combined income of $40k per annum are no happier at this threshold. In the US, the figure is $75k, which confirms we needn't accumulate vast amounts of wealth to be happy.

Mother Nature is more intelligent than we give her credit for. She provides us with the inner wisdom to make sense of our lives, yet we're controlled by our impulses instead of focusing on what's meaningful. Don't succumb to the out-there model that suggests your inner needs originate from outside circumstances.

Make a vow to simplify life and reduce your impact on the environment. Reduce your waste and non-renewable resources.

Strive to live a clean and uncluttered existence.

The reward is a conscious life imbued with simplicity, instead of what you believe will make you happy.

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The Most Significant Ways To Reclaim Your Life

How To Make Sense Of Chaos

You may believe your life is spinning out of control.

However, it's a misguided perception because you're invested in your circumstances and unable to see an alternative solution.

I'm drawn to the tale by Anthony de Mello which highlights our reaction to life:

Everyone was surprised by the Master's updated metaphor: "Life is like a motor car."

They waited in silence, knowing that an explanation would not be long in coming.

"Oh yes," he said at length. "A motor car can be used to travel to the heights."

Another silence.

"But most people lie in front of it and allow it to run over them and then blame it for the accident."

Our greatest challenge in life is overcoming our sense of helplessness. However, this too is an illusion and not what's taking place.

"Circumstances are powerless, too. Your perception of outside events is solely dependent on your thinking and mind-set. And since your thinking and mind-set ebb and flow, it makes little sense to take the content of your thoughts as written in stone and requiring action," affirms author and sports psychologist Garret Kramer in The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

When we become invested in the drama around us, we cannot make sense of it and assume chaos is detrimental.

In fact, upheaval may be what we need to advance us to the next point in our life.

The most significant act we can undertake to reclaim our life, is to surrender. I realise this goes against every principle of setting your life on track. Nevertheless, what if this simple understanding propelled you to a new way of life?

Author Mary O'Malley states in What's in the Way Is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life, "Opening to Life brings you into full engagement with what is happening rather than keeping you caught in a conversation about Life. We could call it surrender, but this doesn't mean being defeated. It means finally giving up your war with what Life is bringing you."

The Process Called Life

Surrender does not mean apathy, yet something more significant. It entails yielding to the process called life, by allowing what needs to transpire, irrespective of your thoughts and preconceived ideas.

Your ideas and beliefs about the world give meaning to what is taking place around you.

To reclaim your life, requires finding your own path and following the journey wherever it leads. It's a rewarding adventure, given the many discoveries made along the way.

Thus, it pays to be vigilant and know what's important to you.

It's easy to be distracted by unimportant matters. Many people succumb to this way of living because they react to what happens before them, instead of focussing on what's essential.

"Saying yes to reality-to the things we cannot change-is like choosing to turn around and sit in the saddle in the direction the horse is going. Sitting that way is mindfulness, an honouring of the here and now without the distractions of fear or desire," avows author David Richo in The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them.

It's In Your Response

How you respond to life, reflects whether you're pulled by situations or people that don't relate with your deepest values.

Life proceeds with its own agenda, directed through you. Yet, it's derailed by trivial matters since we lose sight of what we value most.

I liken it to working on a computer and besieged with pop-up messages from a mail program.

If you're like most people, they respond to the messages, texts or incoming calls as they arise because they're habituated to do so, like Pavlovian Conditioning.

What if there's a better reaction instead of plunging ourselves into unimportant issues?

The choice is not to allow external events to disrupt your inner stability.

We must be mindful of the excuses that keep us trapped in our comfort zone. This safe harbour is where we avoid confronting life's pressing issues while delaying the inevitable.

Eventually, it overwhelms us because we've grown accustomed to running away from our problems instead of meeting them head-on.

"People automatically thrive when they stop making circumstantial excuses for their feelings. They find clarity, take judgment off the table, and then feel a connection with everything around them," states Garret Kramer.

Life needn't be a series of unfortunate events. You have the power to take affirmative action to reclaim your life. First, you must discover what's important to you and let go of any distractions that don't complete the picture.

I assure you, life will pull you in every direction not of your choosing. If you're not resolute, you'll find yourself in a place you care little for.

This is why many people are unhappy in intimate relationships because they're enticed by the initial spark that alights their interest. They respond like a child with new toys, believing the situation will stay the same. It seldom does and soon enough they find themselves stuck and unable to navigate life.

Life is not to blame for your circumstances. It results from your less than unwavering commitment to pursue what's important.

If you're in a position that does not benefit you, ask yourself, "What really matters?"

Continue to pose this question for thirty days until answers appear. What emerges will be insights giving you clues to what you value most.

Pursue it.

However, what arises, may go against your better judgement and force you out of your comfort zone - that's okay, go with it.

Listen, for something to be of value, you must let go of fixed ideas not in alignment with a greater vision for your life.

Tune In To Your Inner Wisdom

There's a place within you, a universal wisdom that knows your needs. You may not be aware of it as it's drowned out by the incessant chatter in your mind.

This radio mind distracts you of what's essential.

To live a spirited life, turn down the volume on your thoughts and tune in to the ever silent, infinite wisdom that lies deep within you.

I assure you it's there.

People claim not to hear it or that it doesn't exist because they can't get quiet enough to perceive it.

It may take months or years to drown out the incessant chatter and allow the silent voice to direct you to the life you're meant to live.

What's the rush, anyway?

Your Instagram and Facebook friends will still be there, so set aside your communication devices for now.

Don't go another minute living a complicated life, claiming it's a series of trials and tribulations.

Be vigilant in your response to life and trust there's a greater plan for you, beyond your understanding. You needn't know the plan in its entirety right now.

Follow the trail, via your emotions to reclaim your life. Take one step at a time.

Everyday, life will show you what needs to be completed, who you need to meet with, what books you need to read and the resources you require.

As the opening tale proposes, step out of the way of the motor car and into the passenger seat to assume your role as creator and navigator of your life.

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10 Habits That Lower Self-Esteem and Cause Depression

When our self-esteem is low, which is typical of codependency, we're at greater risk for depression. Codependency is learned, and so are self-esteem and the beliefs and habits that cause both low self-esteem and codependency. Self-esteem is what we think about ourselves. It includes positive and negative self-evaluations. Good self-esteem is a realistic, positive self-concept. It reflects self-respect and implies a feeling of worth that's not determined by comparison to, or approval from, others. Self-acceptance (which some writers include as part of self-esteem) is even deeper. It's a feeling of being good enough, neither perfect, nor inadequate. We feel we have worth and are lovable, not merely because of beauty, talent, achievement, intelligence, status, or popularity. It's a sense of inner contentment.

We each have intrinsic value, not based on how we perform or what we do or give. Just as every baby and breed of animal are unique and worthy of love, so are we. Unfortunately, as codependents, many of us grew up in families where love was nonexistent, conditional, or had to be earned. We believed that we had to earn or win the love of a parent. As a result, we're afraid to be authentic for fear we may be disliked. We may pursue people who cannot love and reject those who love us. We "over-do" or "over-give" in relationships and at work, and end up feeling resentful, used, or exploited.

Habits that Damage Self-Esteem

If you conclude that self-esteem is essential to enjoying your life and enjoying enduring, healthy relationships, you're right! The following bad habits, typical of codependents, can make you feel insecure, ashamed, anxious, sad, and hopeless:

Negatively compare yourself to others

Find fault with yourself

Tyrannize yourself with "Should's"

Project self-criticism onto others and imagine they're judging you

Don't try new things to avoid failing

Procrastinate

Doubt your instincts and decisions

Ignore your needs and wants

Don't set boundaries and allow abuse, criticism, or exploitation

Refuse to forgive yourself

When we compare ourselves to someone else, whether favorably or unfavorably, we are measuring ourselves by an external standard. Feeling "better than" someone is really a means to compensate for underlying shame and low self-esteem. The lift we get is false. It would be more helpful to wonder why we need to compare ourselves to someone else. When we compare ourselves negatively, it's self-shaming. We feel inferior, lose confidence, and like ourselves less. It depresses our mood and discourages us.

An active "inner critic" besieges us with what we should and should not do and second-guesses what we've already done. Habitual fault-finding can cause us to assume others see us as we see ourselves. In this way, we project our critic onto others and anticipate and feel the effects of criticism or judgment that we imagine, even when none occurs.

Lowered self-confidence causes us to fear making mistakes, looking foolish, or failing. Our self-esteem is always on the line, so it's safer not to try anything new to avoid appearing incompetent or not succeeding. This is another reason we procrastinate tasks or experiences that are new or challenging. At the same time, we nag and criticize ourselves for failure to accomplish our goals. Rather than take a chance, we make ourselves wrong for not trying, which ensures "failure" and low self-esteem.

Accommodating others from an early age leaves us unsure of our values and beliefs and encourages reliance on others. Decision-making becomes difficult, even paralyzing. Low self-esteem and shame heighten our fear of making mistakes, leading to self-doubt, insecurity, and indecision. Instead, we procrastinate or look to others for validation, opinions, and answers, which further undermines our self-trust and self-esteem.

Accommodating others also alienates us from our needs and wants. By not acknowledging, expressing, and meeting our needs and wants, we're admitting to ourselves and others that they're not important; ergo, that we're not important. On the other hand, taking responsibility to meet our needs and/or ask for them (such as asking for a raise) builds self-esteem. When we don't, we feel helpless and a victim of circumstances and other people.

Not feeling worthy of love and respect - which we deny to ourselves - makes us vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. We don't feel worthy of being treated well, and deny, excuse, or rationalize being abused or disrespected. Dependent upon others' approval, we're afraid to set boundaries lest we alienate those we love or need. We're quick to blame ourselves and readily accept blame from others, because we're guilt-ridden due to shame. Although we forgive the mistakes of others, especially if we receive an apology, we're not as kind to ourselves. Apologies to ourselves don't count. In fact, we can punish ourselves or hold a grudge against ourselves for years over past mistakes.

Treatment for Low Self-Esteem and Depression 

Fortunately, we can grow our self-esteem and increase our capacity for self-fulfillment. It will enhance our creativity, ambition, physical and emotional health, loving relationships, and resilience in the face of adversity. It is the key to success.

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Why A Positive Attitude Is Best For You

Of all things you can adopt for yourself, you would be hard-pressed to find something better than a positive attitude. If you believe you have a realistic approach in life and that is what must prevail above all others, perhaps some thoughts on a positive attitude and the benefits that can bring you, could persuade you to open your mind towards acquiring it.

Sometimes we don't realize why we go towards things that express frustration, anger, ill feelings about people, situations of family life, the government, the wife, the husband, the environment etc. all of which, if we allow them to persevere in our life, can change our perception of what reality is, simply because we see them from one angle alone.

All expressions of this side of seeing things is not a healthy way to be about in life. They can stop us from being resourceful and from seeking solutions to everything we see as problems that upset us. It is not very useful and encouraging for others to see us carrying this kind of 

attitude.

Imagine if instead, we present ourselves with ideas to overcome most things that clutter our judgment and project forward a resourceful way of dealing with things, like talking about other ways to see what is difficult, complex, hurtful, abusive, repulsive or hateful.

And what if we persist on smiling, on focusing our thoughts to find solutions, on giving plenty to others without reservation, especially on treating others in a more loveable way without fear of rejection.

Do you think if you took this way of behaving would attract a different response from others? I believe this other way of being not only will change your life, your health and your financial position but will also make you a more caring person to everyone around you. Even if you don't believe it until you make an effort to deviate from taking the pessimistic side of things in life, and go onto the different side of reasoning, that lies in the resourceful state, the creative state, the solution-seeking state, it is extremely difficult to see gains in your life.

Dwelling in the half empty measures, the negative attitudes, the resentments about all things, on blaming everyone else and everything else for your misfortunes is not going to get anything in your life solved. But you already know that, so, trying the other angle, "the positive way" as many people would call it, seems quite a logical thing to do.

If being resentful, blame full, uncaring, angry, boastful, impolite and provocative do not get us anything truly worthwhile and make us look negative in so many ways to others, why not make an effort to overcome little by little all those traits to start having a positive attitude and seeing a change in how we are perceived by others.

Looks like by eliminating all those traits, you can begin to make small changes in your attitude, small enough steps to build a muscle of gradual improvement to overcome ingrained negativity. If you persist with this new way of behaving and make it sustainable, you will be, eventually, unstoppable. Nothing can resist your new level of positive attitude that is all-conquering, charming and effective in just about any endeavour you care to take.

You will always be welcome by everyone and doors will be open to you because it is the new you with the all-powerful attitude, "the positive attitude" that you so much wanted since the days of the "half empty glass" and the "partially cloudy skies" and the gloomy statistics of doom that you used to believe.

Now you are not sarcastic and nasty and do not have time for sadness, illness, abusive manners and provocation that so much hurt others and got you nothing but rejection. No, you are now totally the opposite, the charming, kind, smiley, courteous, giving, always ready to help kind of person that others love to be with, help and admire.

How beautiful is that? To all those that knew you as a negative, stressful type of person to be with, now they love you and respect you and want to help you because they want to reciprocate your changed positive personality. Great news!

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A Little Change Makes a Big Investment

As I wander through life there are many interesting conversations to overhear and participate in. One that's caught my attention lately is how hard change is. You can resist change and stay stuck in your situation, or you can grow through change and create a different reality.

There's no denying that change is hard, at first. The benefit of sticking with the effort to make a change is that you emerge a better person. The effort you put in is rewarded by the results you get. The path along the way can be a bit messy, even disappointing some days, but you still owe it to yourself to persevere. And you learn and grow from even the messy stuff in the middle.

Another objection to some making change is that it feel like deprivation. You gotta change that mindset. If doing things that are hard creates a feeling of deprivation, not a feeling of challenge and growth, you owe it to yourself to switch your thinking. Growth isn't a sacrifice. When you lose bad habits you are growing. You lose a bad habit by replacing it with a good habit. When you change from a bad habit to a good habit, you haven't lost a thing, you haven't sacrificed anything - you have grown and improved. There's no deprivation in growth.

In my observations and experience, deciding to change some aspect of your life - diet, physique, addiction, meditation practice... any habit you perform - is energizing. That decision is taking the first step. Taking action is the next step, and subsequent steps, until you reach your goal. That's how change is accomplished, one decision and step at a time.

Each step along the way is a chance to learn. You learn about yourself and the world. Exciting! Empowering. That's part of an Energize Me attitude. That's part of the growth that keeps life interesting and valuable.

Are you tired of at least some aspects of your life? What are you doing about it? Action versus non-action is the difference between someone living up to their potential and someone stuck in the past.

Maybe you don't strive to grow and change because it feels like too much work. That's one of the comments I hear. Consider this: you are working toward the wrong goal, you aren't passionate about the change you are avoiding. That is stressful. Altering your attitude or goal will turn hard work into passion.

Another possibility is that you haven't found the right attitude about the change you want, or are told you must make. Can you wrap your head around the idea of accepting that the change is important and taking the first step, even if it's a little one? Can you tiptoe into the change? Some people prefer jumping in with both feet - or diving in head first. Regardless, you have to move toward your goal or your desired change won't happen. What's your style?

A friend of mine has learned to live his life like a video game or movie script. By turning a challenge into a game goal - complete with points, levels, and rewards - he has been living the life of his dreams for over six years now. Now that's energizing! That's the path to success for him, and lots of his tribe.

The reality, is by taking on change you are investing in yourself. You invest in yourself in other ways, like education, saving for a goal, health, or the friends you keep; why not invest in yourself when it comes to your habits and attitudes?

You'll find your life more satisfying and gratifying as you accept that change can be hard, but that you can make it easier. You'll be energized by the action you take with that first step. You'll live a better life.

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7 Tips on Motivation to Gain Momentum

Sometimes because of situations people tend to worry but worry leads to fear and discouragement, but instead of putting your face to the ground, one must raise up in faith and find solutions to the things that worry them. Worrying serves no purpose it only gets us down and makes us lose focus. We need to get up and take action, by acting, we are taking control of our lives and circumstances. We are NEVER hopeless and anything is better than worrying.

Tip 1. Stop Listening to Negative Thoughts

Many times because of bad experiences, we tend to listen to that inner voice, the negative thoughts, the hurts and pains. These negativity discourages us from achieving anything in life. Make up your mind to be positive about life, envision yourself in the place and position you want to be in, like financially stability, establishing your business or even owning your dream home, whatever you choose to accomplish keep this in the forefront of your mind and work towards it.

Tip 2. Change Your Environment

Remove yourself from any negative environment or circumstances that do not encourage your success. You cannot do the same things over and over and expect different results. You must re-position yourself in order to move forward.

Tip 3. Prioritize Your Life

Ask yourself how important the situations are around you and set your priorities in order, this would help you to cope, then work on the most important ones first.

Tip 4. Associate Yourself with Like-Minded People

Find people who have the same or similar vision and share your vision with them get new ideas and encouragement. Also learn to encourage yourself by encouraging others and get excited about it.

Tip 5. Set Realistic Goals

Set goals that you know that you can accomplish within a specific time-frame, put a plan in place, envision your goal, see it, touch it, taste it in your heart and challenge yourself to meet those goals.

Tip 6.Gain Knowledge

There are a community of resources out there like internet, books, networking events, talking with others in your niche and more..that you can tap into to bring you encouragement and help you gain momentum to keep you moving forward. These resources would influence your motivation.

Tip 7. Take Risks

Learn to take risks you will never gain anything by doing nothing! Choose to live life to the fullest, it's up to you! Be willing to fail before you can even begin to succeed at anything. Failure should motive you to succeed and not to get you down. Never quit, there is a saying, "a quitter always loses", keep trying until something great happens. Never see yourself defeated, instead, see yourself with real potential and get busy moving forward!

To many times people depend on others to push them to achieve, what if we don't have that someone, would you just give up in life. No, we were all created with great potential, talents and abilities within, we need to tap in and put away negative thoughts and start believing that you can do anything that you put your mind to do. Yes we all need encouragement, but motivation comes from within is an act of your will and desire, you have to get up and decide to move forward.

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