Finding Inner Peace

Finding inner peace is the path of letting go, even though, the path could be as hard or simple as a person makes the journey of self acceptance.

"He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe" ~ Marcus Aurelius

There are always many ups and downs in every one's life. Sometimes we get stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how we find a constant inner peace in our hearts and lives, when there is always something wrong in our lives or the lives of those we love.

What happens when we start to feel down or stressed?

First of all some kind of negative thought comes into our mind that gets us discouraged and anxious. The next thing that happens, is that we start believing in that thought. And feeding it with more arguments, which in turn gets us into a deeper state of confusion and sadness. Next thing we know, we find ourselves, there in that deep mud hole. We look around and all is doom and gloom.

What can we do so that this does not even happen?

1 - Accept what is: Life is unpredictable. Nothing is permanent, everything changes; and of course, a lot of things can happen that will transform who we are and have an impact on our life. The problem is that we need to be prepared to truly accept whatever comes and embrace it. This is what I have noticed with so many people, in that we focus and linger on things which we have no control over. Why worry about something that all the worrying in the world will not change? Why care about what other people think of us when we're not even sure what it is they are actually thinking? Yes, acceptance is a choice-a hard one most definitely, but a choice nonetheless. By practicing acceptance we learn to live in this changing world, where we never know what's going to happen next. Acceptance is like protecting ourselves with our own shields." You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

2 - Meditate: Meditation makes us mentally strong, and emotionally resilient. It reduces the tendency to react, increases the tendency to respond and is an effective way to de-stress our minds. If you are not meditating yet then, you are missing out on a very important activity that can change your life. When you have a lot on your mind and you feel like your thoughts are driving you crazy, meditation can help you find peace, calmness and more self acceptance. Meditation helps turning one's life into a more beautiful, harmonious and happy one. When mind, body and spirit are in harmony, then everything seems right with the world."Through concentration and meditation you become the boss of your mind, and gain the ability to tell it when to be active and when to stay silent" ~ Remez Sasson

3 - Spend time in nature: Nature calls you back to reality. We can't stop it from raining. We can't delay the setting sun. We can't set the temperature to a comfortable degree. When we are climbing a mountain, our muscles are going to burn. But with this surrender comes such relief! We awake from a dream and realize how little control we really have. We remember that hardship and lack of control are part of life, and accepting this reality makes it not only bearable, but possible to feel the joy of being alive. By being in nature we feel comfortable in our own skin, we experience our own quiet peace and strength, we sense the inner us that is the true us. The mask we present to the outer world is irrelevant for a time, and put in its proper place. Nature helps us to connect with this powerful, loving presence, whether we call it GOD, Earth Mother, the Great Mystery or any another name. Nature brings us closer to GOD, our own spirit and helps us to live lives of meaning and joy. "The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles." ~ Anne Frank

4 - Learn the power of a smile: A smile is a powerful key to living happy from the inside out. The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you're happy. And when you're happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins. Smiles are powerful and contagious. Don't hesitate to smile warmly at friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. Never stop smiling! God smiles on us each and every day. His love has no depth, his mercy no end. His arms are open wide, just step into them. "Smile and the world will smile with you."

5 - Choose to help others: Care for others genuinely around you. What you put out, you really get back in life. Being caring allows us to have empathy for others and to live a life based on affection, love, and compassion for the people around us. When we make a positive impact in someone else's life, we also make a positive impact in our own lives. Any act of kindness and goodwill eases our way towards inner peace. When we start helping others, we stop thinking about our so-called problems and then we realize that our life is not so bad after all. Do something that's greater than you - something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~ Charles Dickens

6 - Never lose hope: Never give up. Never lose hope. Always have faith, it allows you to cope better during the trying times. Having hope is a personal decision, a bold conviction-a choice, and with hope we always have a path towards peace. Having hope is an active, decisive mindset etched into every single moment. No matter the haze and fog that clouds our vision, hope's laser cuts through, and never losing sight of her shimmering stars. Hope is something we can never afford to lose Who we really are is based on values we choose to live by, such as believing in the possible, believing in the goodness of others, and believing in the power of love and hope. When we decide to passionately pursue our greatest purpose, then we become the hope in our lives and manifest her greatest dreams, because we refuse to consider any other possibility. As Henry James put it, "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

7 - Embrace your beliefs: I am not here to favour any belief system over another, but whatever it is that you are believing in, hold it closely in your arms, accept it willingly and enthusiastically, as by being within your faith, peace will find its way into your heart. We all might have different opinion in regards to our belief systems, but one thing that we all have to acknowledge is that without a healthy and solid belief system, we won't be able to find a fair conscience which could show us the way towards peace and wisdom. "Faith is universal. Our specific methods for understanding it are arbitrary. In the end we are all just searching for truth, that which is greater than ourselves." ~ Dan Brown

8 - Live in the present moment: When we live fully in the present moment, our awareness becomes completely centred on the here and now. We won't worry about the future or thinking about the past. How often have you been worrying about things that have yet to come, or how often have you been beating yourself for mistakes that you've made, no matter how much time has passed? Too much time, I believe. Not only living in present moment has a significant effect on our emotional health, but also it has a great impact on our physical wellbeing. By living in present moment we live in acceptance; we accept life the way it is, not the way we wish, it should have been. And when we live in acceptance, we realize that everything is complete as it is. We can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made, and we can have peace in our hearts knowing that everything that should happen will. "If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is."

Finding inner peace is not a simple or short path, but it is a process that we can all learn. It is a journey which needs to be appreciated every step of the way. We have to be willing to let go and step outside the box that we have accepted ourselves to be put into, in the first place and start from scratch. We have to be ready getting to know ourselves all over again and be willing to make mistakes. And most importantly, we have to realize that only we have control over our emotional responses and reactions and they can be changed for the better. And finally when serenity and unconditional love fill our hearts, we will accept that we cannot go back, and will not give up what we have now found, that peace that we seem to have been searching for our whole lives. "Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you." ~ Rumi

Inner peace resides within us at all times. It has been said the only thing that prevents the human mind from finding peace, is the human mind itself. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

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Five Steps to Transform Your Anger

If we lose objectivity due to our anger, we lose control of ourselves and the situation. There are five steps we can take to transform our anger into something positive and constructive.

Step #1: Disengage from the Situation

When we disengage, we focus on the results we want while we cool down. We can either physically remove ourselves from the situation or take an emotional time out. Disengaging is not the same as withdrawal, which is in effect a power play that involves resisting the other person's feelings. It is simply a way to keep defensiveness from escalating.

Disengaging means setting aside differences temporarily and being willing to address them at a later time. It is taking a time-out to reflect, reduce the tension, and let our emotions settle.

At the same time, it is important to assure the other person they will get to have their say. Setting a specified time to renew the discussion is one way to communicate our intention to deal with the issues. The effect of this is to acknowledge the other person's point of view (and their worth) without saying we will agree with them.

To effectively disengage, we need to make two basic assumptions:

1. that our own competence is not in question, and

2. that we are not being personally attacked.

Step #2: Defuse Anger

Anger is almost always accompanied by self-talk that focuses on what seems unfair or hurtful, an unmet expectation, how upset we are, or how we are going to react. To defuse anger, we need to rewrite that script.

Try to discover the thoughts that are fueling your anger. Then test each thought:

· Is it based on observable facts?

· Is it giving you good ideas to calm yourself and resolve the problem you face?

· Is it free of distortion?

If you answer "no" to any of these three questions, your thinking is likely making the situation worse and should be discarded.

Step #3: Determine the Desired Positive Outcome

Our goal is to find a more positive yet rational view of the situation. We need to focus on realistic expectations for this person or situation based on past behavior. Then we need to create a plan for what we will do next time rather than getting angry or inappropriately expressing our anger.

A good plan is specific and describes actions that we will take. It is under our control and its outcome can be measured. Having a plan increases our sense of control and will actually reduce any anger arousal that might potentially be triggered.

In order to create your plan, place the unpleasant situation in the context of current and past factual events that are more acceptable to you. Then reevaluate it in the light of less threatening facts that help you understand another person's actions. Review your own strengths and consider what you need to help you cope with this situation.

Step #4: Discover the Other Person's Needs

Effective listening can make us more competent, defuse anger in others, help us understand others, win respect, and build self-esteem in others. Inquiring about the other person's concerns and listening actively can help build a foundation of mutual trust.

When we feel the need to criticize people or correct their behavior, it helps to remember what it is like to be on the other side. To empathize is to figuratively put ourselves in the other person's place.

It is also useful to empathize when we feel we're being personally attacked and are about to become defensive ourselves. If we try to understand what may have motivated the other person's behavior, we may be less likely to react in a way that escalates the situation.

Step #5: Discuss Mutual Needs and Desired Outcomes

When we communicate our feelings, needs and goals to the other person, we want to do it in an assertive win-win problem-solving manner that is least likely to generate a defensive response.

A powerful, non-defensive way to do this is through "I statements." Beginning with "I statements" says we are taking responsibility for our communication. The statements often begin with the words "I feel."

James Creighton suggests following up "I feel" with words that describe our emotions, followed by a description of the precipitating event, and then its tangible or emotional impact.

An example is: "I feel (I statement) angry (emotion) that I had to look all over for the car keys (precipitating event). Because it took so much time, I was late for my appointment (tangible impact).

An example in the workplace might be: "I feel (I statement) upset (emotion) that I did not receive your marketing budget on time (precipitating event). Because it was late, I will need to rewrite the proposal (tangible impact)."

According to communications trainer Robert Bolton, at least 90 percent of non-blaming messages that describe tangible effects result in the other person trying to resolve the problem.

To skillfully disclose our concerns to the other person, we also need to avoid the use of words and phrases that convey absolutes, such as "never," "always," and "absolutely certain." They will most often trigger a defensive response.

There are times when we need to inquire to uncover the concerns of the other person. Asking questions allows us to focus on our task rather than our disagreement. After we inquire, we need to listen carefully, giving the other person our complete attention.

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4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Motivation

How do you defeat the self-inflicted agony that each one of us as humans have felt at some point or another? How do you work through the pain that hurts so much to the point that we don’t want to deal with it anymore? How do you not give up?


Here’s how:

Step 1—Understand that you’re not alone and the feeling isn’t permanent.

The first step towards crawling back to taking control of your life when you’re on the verge of giving up is really just remembering that you’re not the only person who has felt hopeless, all of us understand what you’re feeling and where you’re coming from. We’ve all been there, and chances are that we’ll each be there again, so it really is kind of about understanding that it happens to everyone, and even more importantly, these moods and feelings come and go in waves. Just because you feel down and without motivation right now doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. It may be gone tomorrow, it may be gone a week from now or a month from now, but it is temporary.

Step 2—Start believing in yourself.

You have the power to let go of negative beliefs about yourself. You also have the power to create positive beliefs that will empower you rather than hinder you. The point of feeling like you want to give up comes from becoming the victim of the negativity of your own internal dialogue. You want to give up because the conversation that takes place in your head tells you you aren’t good enough, you’re not competent, you don’t have it in you, and that maybe what you’re doing isn’t worth the reward you’re expecting. These are problems that we all face as humans on a daily basis simply because our minds are neurotic; they’re negative, and we believe them.

In order to start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing what your mind says. Stop believing the negativity that plays out in your mind and start to laugh at it. You have the power to let go of negative beliefs, and at the same time create positive beliefs that are self-empowering.

Step 3—Start changing your life in ways that will reflect a change in your attitude.

You are the things that you do on a daily basis. If you want your life to change, if you want your moods to change, if your attitude to get better or your motivation to be higher, you have to begin changing your daily actions in a way that will exhibit change in your life.

For me, the way I stay motivated when I’m feeling down is by starting to do daily habits that are difficult, that challenge me and help me grow my willpower. Not only do you feel accomplished when you take on challenging habits, but you are literally strengthening your willpower.

It really is about keeping your energy levels high, and challenging yourself with difficult habits. Developing these habits will help you deal with the negativity that drains you physically, mentally and emotionally.
What are these habits?

Waking up early helps me take time to enjoy my life, and focus on the actions I know are necessary to accomplish my goals. When you become a morning person, you begin to feel empowered, accomplished, and you create time for yourself while the rest of the world is still asleep and there are no distractions.

Meditating is a very important habit that really will help you understand the negative thoughts you have. It will help you begin to separate from those thoughts with the understanding that you are not your thoughts. When you believe your negative thoughts and identify with them, you have no power, you feel horrible about yourself and you will lack motivation. Start to understand your own negativity by meditating for just a few minutes a day and you will find that your motivation levels rise instantly.

Reading is another integral habit that helps keep me motivated. I read about people who have been successful in life; people who seemingly have infinite motivation within them to do everything they set out to do. There’s nothing more motivating than learning from successful individuals who have detailed accounts about what kept them going and how they were able to stay strong in difficult times. You and I are no different and we can take lessons from successful, motivated people and implement those strategies in our own lives.

Step 4—Surround yourself with people who exhibit qualities that you want to possess.
The most important thing you need to do in order to keep yourself motivated and positive is surround yourself with people who you want to be like rather than surrounding yourself with people who are just like you. We become the people we hang out with, and I like to say that we’re an average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people that are just like you, you will never change. But if you begin to surround yourself with motivated, positive people that are go-getters, you too will become a positive person with proper motivation who is a go getter.
Conclusion

Don’t give up. When you’re about to give up is the point where its most important to show up with strength and not give into the difficulty you’re facing. Just remember, this is temporary, you’re not alone, change is possible, and you have the strength in you to live the life you want.


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Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:


“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.


We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.

Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life

Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.



It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.


2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.


3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

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How to Not Take Things So Personally: 6 Helpful Habits

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
Mahatma Gandhi

A very common problem that can drag your self-esteem down or build up so much anger that steam may start to come out of your ears is to take things too personally.

And so you may try to grow some thicker skin and let criticism, negativity or verbal attacks just wash off of you.

But that’s often easier said than done.

So in this week’s article I’d like to share 6 habits that really work for me – at least in most cases – and helps me to reduce the stress, anger and hurt in my life.

I hope they’ll be useful for you too.

1. Breathe.

Just focus on your breathing for a minute or two (or for a few breaths if that’s all the time you got).

Focus only on the air going in and out of your nose. Nothing else.

This simple exercise helps you to calm your mind and body down a bit. It helps you to create a bit of space between you and what has just happened and by doing so you’re less likely to have a knee-jerk reaction and to, for example, lash out verbally at the other person.

Going about things this way makes it easier to respond to the situation in the way you may deep down want to.

2. Get clarification.

Don’t jump to conclusions based on what you may have just misunderstood and let that drag you down in to anger or feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead, ask questions if possible to help clarify a bit about what the other person meant.

And, if you can, explain how what he said makes you feel. We have different perspectives and ways of communicating and he might not, for instance, realize that it came across as a bit harsh or rude.

3. Realize that everything isn’t about you.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that criticism or verbal attacks you receive are about you or something you did.

But it may simply be about the other person having a bad day, week or year. Or about how they are miserable at their job or in their marriage at this time.

And so they release some pent up emotions and tensions at you who is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Remind yourself of this when you wind up in a situation where you are likely to take things personally.

And if you find yourself in a relationship of any kind with a person who is repeating this negative pattern over and over again then it may be time to consider spending less time with him or even no time at all.

4. Talk it out.

When something gets under your skin and you start to take it personally then you can get stuck in a negative spiral of sinking self-esteem that just gets stronger and stronger.

Break out of that or prevent it by letting what happened out into the light. Talk it over with someone close to you and let your friend share her perspective on what happened.

Maybe she knows something about how the person that verbally attacked you is going through a tough time.

Or she could just listen and through that help you to sort things out for yourself and ground you in a more level-headed perspective on what happened.

5. Ask yourself: is there actually something here that could help me?

This one can be a tough one to ask yourself. And it may not always lead to something.

But by asking it so you can sometimes empower yourself. You can find one or more steps to take to improve whatever the criticism was about. You can start moving forward again and regain confidence in yourself and in what you can do.

Instead of getting stuck in inaction and in replaying what happened over and over again in your head.

This one can be especially helpful if this is the fifth or tenth time you have heard the same thing from people. Then there might be something here you would like to work on (even if that might not be so fun to face).

6. Improve your self-esteem.

I’ve found that as I’ve learned to improve and keep my self-esteem steady things don’t get under my skin as often. I don’t take them so personally and I keep a healthier perspective and distance to them.

And so they tend bounce off quicker and not drag my day or week down.

One simple way to start improving your self-esteem today is to be kinder to the people in your own life.

You can:
Help them out.
Listen when they need to vent or a friend to find a better perspective.
Give a genuine compliment.
Encourage when the world may seem negative to them.

The way you treat other people is how they will most often treat you too in the long run.

And, more importantly for your self-esteem, when you are kinder towards others then you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too.

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Steps to Building Self Confidence

Self confidence, as the words suggest, is your inner feeling that gives you the assurance that you can achieve your desired results with a greater sense of responsibility. It is a belief in yourself that you can take up responsibilities and challenges in your life.

In order to attain this, you need to recognise your potential and know your inner strengths. Look at your achievements in your life's journey. Identify what is important to you and where you want to go. Replace any negative thoughts in your mind with positiveness and commit yourself to face challenges.

In order to cultivate and develop such a positive self-image the following needs to be enhanced:

1.Goals and Vision - Set realistic goals. Be a visionary and dream your goals. Convert your dreams into plans and plans into action. Stay focussed and persist in your efforts. Divide your goals into sub-goals and keeping work on them and lead them to your final goal.

2.Interpersonal Relationships - Participate in social activities. Join social clubs or charitable organisations. Get involved with people as this will channel and renew your energy. Share your thoughts, view, hopes and aspirations with your near ones.

3.Communication Skills - Learn to interact with people using charm in your conversation. Recognising and complimenting others for their achievements will boost your desires to achieve similar results.

4.Knowledge - Enhance your knowledge by reading as much as possible on varied subjects. Newspapers, magazines provide lot of information and updates. Watch appropriate channels and programs on television to broaden your knowledge. This will give you confidence when you meet people, make presentations etc.

It is worthwhile that whenever you achieve something, take pride in your achievements. Congratulate yourself. It will boost your morale. Reflect on your successes and consolidate your confidence.

A good way of doing this is to display in your house any certificates or awards you have won in the past as this will motivate you to win more laurels. Keep appreciating these small achievements for enhancing your positive attitudes and inner strength.

One must however be also ready to face setbacks as these are only challenges that occasionally stand between you and your goals. Persistence is the key to success. Analyse the situation and take corrective steps. Do everything possible to bounce back with much more vigor till desired results are obtained.

Self confidence is all about you and your goals. You can only draw inspiration from other sources, but action is what you have to take. Action in the right direction. When you are self confident, you do what you believe to be right even if others mock or criticize you. You take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

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How to Improve Your Mood Right Now: 3 Simple Habits

I often write about how a good start to your day often leads to having a good day in general.

A social, an energetic or a productive start sets the context for your day.

But on some days you may not get a good start for some reason.

Maybe you slept badly. Or the maybe grey skies and cold summer rain is dragging your energy down.

Or you might have lost that positive momentum during a hard first part of the day and after lunch you feel tired, low or lost in a somewhat sad or uninspired funk.

What to do then? Is that day lost and should you just aim for a better day tomorrow?

Well, today is not over yet.

Maybe you can still make something good out it.

Here’s how I do that by breaking the negative mood and getting a new start.

1. Appreciate what you have.

The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups.

I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence.

I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life?

I usually come up with one simple thing like:
My tasty food.
My health.
That I have a roof.

That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.

Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the fluffy cat sitting beside me on the sofa, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.

I make those small mental leaps by just moving my attention around in the room I am in. Like skipping from stone to stone over a stream. And I take the time to slowly appreciate all those things.

This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one.

2. Act as you would like to feel.

Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic.

I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example:
Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.
Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to I think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).

3. Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.

Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood.

Spend one minute coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.

She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.

Source

12 Powerful Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Anais Nin

“Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can’t be done.”
Bo Bennett

“It’s better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.”
Unknown

It starts with just a thought or a feeling. Or maybe with a sentence spoken by someone else.

And then it starts to drag you down.

Into feeling sorry for yourself, worried or into thinking “what’s the point of taking any action at all?” as you walk around in a funk with your own personal rain cloud above your head.

Negativity that wells up inside of you or in the world around you can quickly become toxic and hold you back from living the life you want.

So in this week’s post I want to share 12 tips and habits that have helped me – and still help me – to prevent and to overcome my own negative thoughts but also the negativity that’s sometimes around me.

1. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, find what’s good or helpful.

If you’ve had a setback, stumbled or failed then things might look bleak and so negative thoughts may start to crop up and threaten to fill your view of this situation.

To counteract that ask yourself better questions.

Questions that will help you to feel better but also to learn so you can grow.

Questions like:
What’s one good thing about this situation?
What’s one thing I can do differently the next time to likely have a better outcome?
What’s one thing I can learn from this?
How would my best friend support and help me in this situation?

2. Reminder: people don’t care that much about what you say or do.

It’s easy to fall into negative thoughts when you think about what people may say or think if you do or do not do something. And so you zap your personal power and may trap yourself in analysis paralysis.

Getting stuck in your head and in thoughts like that will drag you further away from what you want and from reality.

Because the truth is that people don’t have that much time, attention or energy to think or talk about what you do. They have their hands and minds full with their kids, jobs, pets, hobbies and their own fears and worries (like for example what people may think of them).

This realisation and reminder can help you to set yourself free from the constraints you may create in your own mind and help you to start taking small – or bigger steps – towards what you deep down want in your life.

3. Question the thought.

One thing I like to do when a negative thought taps me on the shoulder and tries to start growing in my mind is to simply to question that thought.

I ask myself:

Should I take you seriously?

This most often leads me to say: well, no, I honestly shouldn’t.

Because at that moment in time I’m tired. Or hungry. Or overworked and so negativity can try to cloud my mind.

Or I am getting too focused on one small mistake or one bad day. Instead of focusing on the other 95% of my life that tends to be positive.

Sometimes this question helps me to see that just because I did one small thing wrong doesn’t mean that I did poorly overall. Or that this one negative thing doesn’t mean that things will get worse and stay like that for a long time. Not if I chose optimism and to take small steps forward.

Basically, this question gives me a reality check and grounds me to a level-headed perspective again.

4. Replace the negativity in your surroundings.

What you let into your mind in your everyday life will have big effect on you. So start questioning what you allow in.

Ask yourself:

What are the top 3 sources of negativity in my life?

It could be people, websites, magazines, podcasts, music and so on.

Then ask yourself:

What can I do to spend less time with these 3 sources this week?

If you can’t find ways to do that right now for all three of them then take a smaller step and focus on doing that with just one of these sources.

Then spend the time you’ve freed up this week on more positive sources and people that are already in your life or that you want to explore and perhaps make a new part of it.

5. Stop making mountains out of molehills.

To stop a small negative thought from becoming a big monster in your mind confront it early. You can do that by for example using tip #3 in this article.

Or you can zoom out. Do that by asking yourself a question like:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?

This answer is likely in most cases that it won’t and that you were only starting to make a mountain out of a molehill (or out of plain air).

6. Let it out and talk it over.

Keeping negative thoughts that are starting to cloud your whole mind bottled up won’t help.

So let them out. Talk the situation or your thoughts over with someone close to you.

Just venting for a few minutes can often help you to see the situation in new light. Or if not then a conversation about it where the two of you find a more useful perspective and perhaps the start of an action-plan can be both relieving and recharging.

7. Live in and come back to this moment.

When you’re tapping into negative thinking then you’re often thinking about something that happened. Or something that may happen. Or both, all jumbled up as your mood and thoughts sink.

To snap out of that put your attention fully into this moment instead. Into what’s here right now.

Start making it a habit to spend more of your time in the present moment and you’ll, in my experience, naturally have less negative thoughts and be more open and constructive.

A couple of ways to bring yourself back to being mindful and this moment are:
Focus only on your breathing. Take a 1-2 minute pause right now and take a little deeper breaths than you usually do. Make sure you’re breathing with your stomach and through your nose. During this time focus only on the air going in and out and nothing else.
Take in the world around you. Take a 1-2 minute break, get out of your head and put your attention on what’s around you right now. Nothing else. Just focus on the people walking by outside your window, the muffled words and noises from the street, the smells around you and the sun shining in and warming your skin.

8. Go for a short workout.

I find that when I’m having trouble with thinking myself out of negativity then it often works well to change my headspace by using my body.

So I go for a 20-30 minute workout and lift some free weights.

This helps me to release inner tension and worries. And it makes my mind focused and constructive once again.

9. Don’t let the vague fears drag you down.

One common mistake people make when it comes to fears – and that I’ve made many times – is to become scared and run away from them instead of taking a closer look.

It’s of course natural to feel that impulse and to want to avoid it but when fears are vague they can become so much scarier than they need too.

So what can you do? One thing that has helped me is this question:

Realistically, what’s the worst that could happen in this situation?

When you start to ground a fear like that and begin to look at it with your feet firmly planted on the ground then you most often realise that the worst that could happen isn’t really that bad.

It’s often something you can make a plan to come back from it were to happen. And you can also probably start listing and taking action on a few things that will reduce the likelihood of this worst case scenario happening.

By doing this you gain clarity about the situation and what you can do about it and so the fear does tend to become quite a bit smaller.

10. Bring positivity into someone else’s life.

If you get stuck in negative thoughts or victim thinking then one of the simplest ways to get out of your own head and the thoughts bouncing around in there is to focus outwards and on someone else.

By adding positivity to his or her life in some way you too can start to feel better and more optimistic again.

A few ways to add positivity to someone’s life is to:
Be kind. Give him a genuine compliment, hold up the door or let him into your lane while driving your car.
Help out. Give her some good advice that have helped you or help out with moving houses or planning and preparing for the party next weekend.
Just be there. Listen for a few minutes in a focused way as he vents. Or talk his difficult situation over to help him to start finding his way out of it.

11. Be grateful for a few of the things you may often take for granted.

When we get negative it’s easy to forget the positive things in life. Especially the ones that are just a normal part of life that we may take for granted a bit too often.

A few such things that I like to put my attention on and feel grateful for during such negative times are:
Three steady meals a day.
A roof over my head during the cold nights and the rainy and windy days.
As much clean water as I want.
Kind and helpful family and friends.

12. Start tomorrow in a way that sets a positive tone for your day.

How you start your day often sets the tone for it.

A pessimistic or negative start makes it hard to turn things around. But a positive start makes it a lot easier to just keep going with that emotion and the optimistic way of thinking until it is bedtime again.

A couple of simple ways to get your day off to a positive start is:
A simple reminder that you see right after you wake up. It could be one or a couple of quotes that inspire you. Or maybe the goal or dream that you’re most passionate about right now. Write it down on a piece of paper and place it on your bedside table or on the fridge. Or type it in as a part of the lock screen on your smart phone.
Get some positive information or conversation flowing into your mind. Listen to a podcast, read a new blog post or a chapter in a book that motivates you or makes you laugh. Or have a fun or uplifting conversation with your partner, kids or a co-worker.

Source

How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an over thinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.


I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralysed in fear.

4. Realise that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an over thinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the head space I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Source

Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.

We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.


Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life

Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.


It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.

2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.


3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

Source

Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.

We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.


Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life
Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.


It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.


2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.

3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

Source