The Procrastination Cure You Can't Put Off Any Longer

There are certain bad habits that get all the attention. Look around, and you'll see many warnings against smoking, overeating, binge watching TV, or drinking to excess. But there is one particularly nasty tendency millions of us share that doesn't get a fraction of the attention it deserves - the habit of procrastinating on our most important tasks.

It's easy to put off until tomorrow what we need to finish today. Unfortunately, that tends to leave you farther and farther behind on your work, and paints you as either inconsiderate of other people's time, or unable to manage your own life.

Study the people who have the most success in this world, and you'll find that they inevitably tend to be very punctual. They finish their work ahead of time, and never put off important tasks. And when it comes to being where they're supposed to be, they know that keeping to routines and schedules is important for maintaining control over their time, and will go out of their way to stick to their plans.

That's a big contrast to the way most people manage their schedules, of course, but it doesn't have to be. Here are three steps you can take today to break your procrastination habit...

Step #1: Recognize the Psychological Causes of Procrastination

Psychologically speaking, there are a lot of reasons people procrastinate. But a few stand out as being the most prominent.

First, it's easier for your subconscious mind to relax than it is to actively chase your conscious goals. Staying still or goofing off feels pleasurable and rewarding right now, whereas putting yourself through the mental effort of an uncomfortable activity doesn't provide an instant payoff. So certain parts of your brain are always going to want to pull you back to bed, onto the couch, or over to Facebook if you don't have good habits.

Another reason people tend to procrastinate so much is that they simply aren't motivated by the goals in front of them. When you aren't personally excited to achieve something, your subconscious will stop you from acting upon it. Your rational brain may know that your boss wants that report by the end of the day, but it doesn't feel urgent to you, which means it will take a lot of willpower to get moving.

And finally, people with low self-esteem tend to be the biggest procrastinators of all. They may feel afraid of success, or as if they don't deserve it. And so they self-sabotage their own efforts by putting things off until the last minute, missing deadlines, and making it impossible to do their best work.

Step #2: Face the Problem Head On

Regardless of which of these issues stops you from showing up on time or handling important tasks when you should, the best way to beat procrastination is to tackle the problem head-on with a few clear strategies.

The first is to simply make it harder to put things off. A classic example of this would be the person who puts their alarm clock in another room. In order to turn it off, they have to get out of bed, walk somewhere else, and press a button. By that time, they are far less inclined to hit the snooze button and do it all over again. That's a simple illustration, but there are probably dozens of ways you can remove distractions in your life and get things done faster.

You could also let others know that you're trying to beat the procrastination habit. Encourage them to acknowledge it when you're late, or make a pact with them that you'll set aside a few dollars every time you miss a deadline or put something off. That kind of simple punishment is enough to create a sense of accountability and get you thinking about your habits.

Step #3: Let the New Habit Take Hold

Don't expect you'll make the decision to stop procrastinating and be able to change your behavior in an instant. As with all habits, procrastination is something that is deeply ingrained at a personal and emotional level. You may have a few slip-ups, but if you are willing to acknowledge the problem and take steps to fix it, rest assured that you'll adjust over time.

Procrastination harms your productivity, your self-esteem, and your standing with others. But once you get in the habit of being proactive, showing up on time, and refusing to put things off when you could finish them right away, you'll start to feel more effective and empowered. Then the thought of not getting things done will start to feel strange to you.

You might be the kind of person who has put things off until the last minute your whole life, constantly running late from one task, meeting, or appointment to the next. Now is the perfect time to make a change. Don't put this improvement off until later - you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel, and how much more seriously others will take you once you become the kind of person who doesn't procrastinate.

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3 Habits You Must Develop In Order To Live To 100 Years Old

There has never been a time in human history where you can live longer and live better than you can today. Incredible advances in pharmaceuticals, medicine, and healthcare enable people to overcome disease and illness and continue to thrive well into their 80s and 90s.

Perhaps the largest growing demographic group in America today is people who are 90 and 100 years old or more. Your job is to join this group and to be fit and healthy all the days of your life.

For almost the entire history of the human race, longevity was a matter of accident or coincidence…

Today longevity is a matter of design and choice.

You can actually decide today to enjoy superb levels of physical health, and by developing specific habits, you can assure that you live longer and better than has been possible for any other generation in human history.
How To Be Healthy And Fit

More than 60% of Americans today are officially classified as “obese.” This means that they are more than 20% above their ideal weight, based on height and weight charts. Even worse, there are many millions who are officially classified as “morbidly obese.” This means that they are 40% and 50% above their ideal weights.

Everything you are, and ever will be, is the result of your choices and decisions. If you want to change some aspect of your life, you have to make new choices and new decisions, and then you must discipline yourself to follow through on your decisions.

The only way to achieve your proper weight is to develop the habit of eating less and exercising more each day and each week. But just as it takes you months and years to become overweight, it takes you many months to get rid of the weight once you make that decision.

It is not easy to lose weight.

This is because you develop automatic habits of eating that are hard to break. You get into a rhythm of eating certain foods – morning, noon and night. You become accustomed to eating snacks between meals, and to overeating in the evening. It is not easy to break these habits, but it is definitely possible.

This is your goal.

1) Eat The Right Foods

The first habit you need to develop for a long life full of health and fitness is the habit of eating a proper diet.

You have to develop the habit of eating the right foods, in the right proportions, at the right times.

Everyone knows that they should eat a more balanced diet, containing more fruits, vegetables, and whole grain products.

In addition to this basic principle, there are several things that you can do to modify your diet and develop the habits of good nutrition, which will lead to a combination of weight loss and higher levels of energy and fitness.

In addition to eating the right foods, you should develop the habit of eliminating the “three white poisons” from your diet, which are salt, sugar, and flour.

This change in your diet is so simple and yet so powerful that every one of my students who tries it is absolutely amazed at how quickly they get noticeable results.

2) Get Enough Exercise

The next habit you need to develop is the habit of effective exercise.

Many people stop exercising in their late teens and early twenties, even people who were active in sports when they were growing up. The human body is meant to be exercised regularly throughout your life.

Develop the habit of articulating and moving every joint in your body, every single day. This keeps your muscles and joints agile and flexible. Regular exercise assures that you have greater balance and mobility. It helps to diminish the likelihood of muscle or joint pain or problems.

Develop the habit of exercising 200 minutes each week. If all you did were to go for a walk, 30 minutes per day, seven days per week, you would be one of the fittest people in our society.

If you disciplined yourself to ride an exercise bicycle, work out on a treadmill, swim, jog or engage in any aerobic exercises that get your lungs and heart pumping, you will dramatically improve your levels of health and energy in a short period of time.

3) Get Enough Sleep

The third habit that you need for superb all around health is the habit of proper rest. You need seven to eight hours of sleep each night for optimal performance. If you get less than six to seven hours of sleep per night, and you continue to work as hard as you normally do at your job, you will eventually develop a “sleep deficiency.”

You can change the way you feel about yourself, and your performance in your work and personal life, by developing the habit of going to bed early, by 10:00 pm each night and getting a good night’s sleep every night of the week.


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How to Stay Calm: 17 Tips for Stressful and Frustrating Situations

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”
Sydney J. Harris

The stress is rising. You’re starting to feel frustrated with situation you’re in. Or angry. Or maybe sad and like you just want to pack up and go home.

But at the same time you also know that you need to keep calm.

To be able to think clearly. To not overreact, make the wrong decision or to not say the wrong thing in a moment of anger, overwhelm or confusion.

I’m sure you – just like me – have been in situations like these many times.

So this week I’d like to share 17 habits and strategies that have helped me to keep calm and to keep moving forward.


1. Just breathe.

This is pretty much always step one for me.

Just take a few deep breaths and focus fully on them to calm down a bit. If you have the time in the situation you’re in then I recommend sitting down for 1-2 minutes to do this. Only focus on the air slowly going and out and nothing else.

2. Then think of the consequences.

If you’re in a situation where you need to reply to what someone just said then follow up your few deep breaths with thinking about the consequences if you reply with overly tough words or if you back down instead of calmly standing your ground.

If you have an email or a phone message you need to reply to then consider taking more time to cool down – anywhere between 10 minutes to the next day – to get yourself into the right headspace before you reply.

3. Remember: It’s not always about you.

If someone attacks you with harsh words in a conversation or via email or phone then remind yourself that this may not even be about you.

He might be going overboard or overreacting because he’s having a bad day with a sick child or just a lot of things going wrong. Or she may lash out because she’s unhappy with her job, marriage or haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

This reminder helps me to not take everything so personally and to think for a minute and calm down instead of being reactive and escalating the situation.

4. Take it just one small – or tiny – step at a time.

If you feel overwhelmed and stressed out then don’t make the classic mistake of thinking you have to do everything at once to solve this situation.

Just focus on making a start. On one small step or even just a tiny one you can take to move forward.

I find that when I approach a situation like this then I rarely get stuck in analysis paralysis and my mind calms down when I know I only have to do one small thing at a time.

5. Question your perspective.

If you feel that you’re starting to get really frustrated, angry or sad about a situation then question your perspective before it goes any further.

Ask yourself:
How would I think and feel it if I were in his or her shoes? This one can help you to go from negative emotions to empathy and understanding. And that tends to help to both calm down and to find a solution for the both of you.
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? This one grounds me and helps me to stop sweating all the small stuff and to not make mountains out molehills in everyday life. And it helps me to once again focus my time and energy on what truly matters in my life.

6. What would someone else do?

Another way to change your perspective in a tough situation is to get outside of your own head a bit.

Do that by asking yourself: what would X do in this situation?

Some good people or characters that you could use for the X and this question are:
Winnie the Pooh.
Mom or dad.
Your calm and wise friend.

Find a person in your life or someone from a book, movie etc. that you truly like and ask yourself what he or she would do to find a new perspective.

7. Cycle fully focused work with 100% rest.

This could be a solution if you’re stressed today.

But it is more importantly a long term solution to reduce stress levels and to consistently put yourself in a better headspace to handle the inevitable setbacks and crises that will happen at work.

You need to clear boundaries for this to work though.

Here are three such boundaries I use in my own life.
A start time and stop time for my work day. And that’s 8 o clock in the morning and 7 o clock in the evening.
A break every 45 minutes. Usually, after about 45 minutes of work I take a 10-15 minute break. If I have trouble with following that guideline and work too much then I use the alarm function on my smart phone to stick to my work/rest cycle.
No work on weekends. I stay away from the work computer except for doing one quick check of my inbox. And I only reply to emails there that are urgent. The rest can wait until Monday. If you use a work phone then leave it at your job. Or at least keep it off and only check the messages 1-2 times per weekend.

8. Remember to keep things extremely simple.

Here’s a reminder that I’ve used more time than I can count: “Keep things extremely simple”.

It used to be at the top of my white board for over a year to remind me to not overcomplicate and to think of situations and solutions in the simplest way I could. Overthinking is a big contributor to stress and to spending too much time and energy on things that aren’t really that complicated.

I quite often sandwich this reminder between first focusing on my breathing and then following it up with focusing on one small or tiny step forward.

9. Ask instead of guessing.

Trying to mindread someone can quickly amplify stress and frustration. Because it’s pretty much impossible to do.

Plus, it can easily lead to a much worse scenario in your mind than what is actually going on in the other person’s head.

So communicate and ask what you want to ask.

10. Be 10 minutes early.

Not much help when you’re already in stressful situation. But a good reminder for tomorrow and next week.

Plan a bit ahead so that you can – as often as possible – let transportation time between meetings and destinations during your day become a small window where you can fully relax and rejuvenate so that you’ll be able to do fully focused work or be truly engaged when you arrive.

11. Reduce your to-do list.
A big or seemingly endless to-do list can cause a ton of overwhelm and stress.

To calm down simply ask yourself: what would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?

Then work on that task one step at a time.

This one helps me to quickly find my focus and to get started with doing one of truly most important things when I’m stressed. And it helps me to be selective with what I put on my to-do list for the day and week in the first place.

12. Go for a 5-15 minute laugh break.

When you feel overwhelmed and it’s hard to think then you can take this somewhat odd but effective kind of break.

For maybe 5-15 minutes focus on having fun, smiling and laughing.

Laughing and finding some fun breaks stress and tension. It helps your mind to relax.

You can do this by just spending a bit of time with someone at work, in school or at home that you know you’ll have fun with.

But I also recommend having a small mental or physical folder of things that you know will make you laugh.

For me it’s for example episodes of the Simpsons or comics by The Oatmeal and Jim Benton.

After that break you can return to your work or the situation that you’re trying to figure out with a lighter mind.

13. Take some time for yourself in nature.

A more conventional alternative to laugh breaks is to take a break where you go out in nature and spend some time in silence there to recharge yourself.

I usually take these breaks by going out for a slow walk in our nearby forest where I take in all the sounds, sights and smells for a little while.

14. Ask for help.

You don’t always have to go it alone in these situations. You can ask a friend, family member or even someone you may not know that well for a bit of help.

You might not always get it but you may be surprised at how helpful people can be if you just ask.

15. Just take care of today.

It’s hard to keep calm if you look at all the things you may have to get to done to solve a situation or to overcome a challenge.

That’s why I’ve already shared a few tips that help you to concentrate on a much smaller part of the situation. Such as when you focus on just one small or tiny step or when you ask yourself the question about what you’d work on if you only had 2 hours for work today.

Here’s another one of those tips and habits that help me.

What you do is simply to tell yourself: just take care of today.

Concentrate only on that. Forget about all the tomorrows for now. Narrow your focus and take care of only today.

Tomorrow will come in time and you can take care of it then.

16. Had a setback? Then be your own best friend.

Don’t let a temporary setback drag you down into a thought spiral of defeatism and negativity.

Instead, ask yourself this to keep going on a healthier track even if you don’t feel so good at the moment:

How would my best friend or my parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things and talk to yourself like he or she would.

17. Listen to yourself.

If you feel you’re having more trouble than usual with staying calm in several situations and you’re really frustrated in general and drained of energy then listen to yourself.

Step back before you run right into a brick wall and do or say something you really wouldn’t usually do.

Schedule more time to just take care of yourself.

Spend one evening – or a few – in bed and just watch your favorite TV-shows or movies. Take a trip over the weekend and just focus on relaxing and doing what you think is fun or fulfilling. Spend more time out in nature for a few days or a week.

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8 Harsh Reasons as to Why You’re Still Broke

Okay so you’re broke, perhaps in debt, and just really wanting to have a career that you love and can be proud of? One that will make you good money? Well then maybe this is for you.

We all want to make a lot of money, but for most people who have this common goal they struggle to ever get anywhere near where they want to be, and all it raises within them is doubt. Doubt of why it’s not happening for them but is for others. Here’s 8 reasons as to why you’re still broke.

1) You Give up too Easily

The first half a year, or year of starting a business, a website, a career or whatever it is you want to do is a test. You’ll be tested on your commitment and love to do what it is you’re doing.

Within this time you will experience struggles, and failure, but this is all part of the test and if you want to prove that you’re in this for the long run, and that you deserve to have the things you want, then you need to do what must be done to prove yourself worthy.


2) You’re Lacking Motivation

There are far too many people in this world that sit around saying “I wish I was rich”, “It’d be nice if we had a pay rise” and all the other garbage that they just expect to come to them. You don’t just wake up one day and find someone’s deposited a hundred grand into your bank account.

The wealthy people in this world aren’t wishing for things and just hoping they’ll come into some money. They’re the people who spend less time wishing and more time doing. If you really want something then you need to go out and put your heart and soul into it.

Don’t just think to yourself that someone kind will just come along and give you what you want.


3) You’re in Love With Your T.V
My dream car is a Lamborghini Murcielago, in a less common color like blue or green. It’s just one thing I’ve always had in my mind ever since I was younger playing the ‘Need for Speed’ games. Anyway, one day I was looking for the perfect one on Google images, as you do, and I found a quote that really spoke to me.

“Why haven’t you ever seen a Lamborghini commercial before? Because the people who can afford them aren’t sitting around watching T.V.” The truth is, if you’re sitting around watching T.V for most of the day or evening, then you’re basically watching what’s going on in other people’s lives instead of going out and creating a life of your own.

T.V is not real life. Turn it off and start living.


4) Sleep is Your Best Friend

If you really want to be rich and successful, but you’re still getting more than 8 hours of sleep, then you’re wasting valuable time. 6 to 7 hours sleep is perfectly fine, but if you’re not getting up early enough in the mornings you could be missing opportunities to make money or improve upon yourself.

When you go to sleep tonight, place your alarm clock next to your bedroom door and set it to go off an hour earlier than normal. When you get up to turn that annoying sound off, you’ll be up out of bed and facing your bedroom door.

All you have to do is walk out of the door, make yourself a cup of coffee and have an extra hour of working on yourself! Whatever it may be. The laziest thing you could do is to turn that alarm off, turn around and then get back into your bed.


5) You’ve Adopted Bad Habits

All that smoking, drinking, watching T.V, browsing Facebook and other crap you’ve been doing, isn’t going to have an amazing effect on your life. If you’re going to grow as a person, then some discipline needs to be gained in these areas, in order for you to have strength of body, mind and soul.

Kick the habits, and start trying to actually improve your life.


6) You Hang out With the Wrong Crowd

They say that you become just like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Which should make you question yourself whether you’re current friends are actually good for you. Sure they may be a great laugh, and that’s a good thing.

But do they have any dreams, goals or aspirations?


7) All Talk no Action

Are you familiar with a process where you have this amazing idea pop into your head, and instead of then proceeding to work on it, you start adding more thoughts onto the idea you already have.

At the end of your life, you end up with this incredible idea that you’ve thought through for so many years, but it’s useless because you have no time left to take action on it.

The wealthiest place in the world is the graveyard. It’s where so many ideas and inventions come to die. Champions don’t start out with a perfect idea. They start out with an idea and make it perfect through the hard work that they put in.


8) You Have no Plan

Having a plan isn’t exactly essential to become wealthy and successful, but if you’ve been broke up until now then perhaps you should think about creating one for yourself.

Where do you want to be in a few years time? Do you still want to be where you are or do you want to be in the job of your dreams, earning a great amount of money?

If it’s the latter, then you’ll need a plan of how you’re going to be able to get there. Do you know what you need to do to make this dream become a reality? Then write it down, and split it into small baby steps.

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How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.


I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

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How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an overthinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.

I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralyzed in fear.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an overthinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the headspace I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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13 Ways Successful People Improve their Efficiency

There is never an end to the learning process.

Even successful people have the urge to improvise their efficiency on a daily basis.

Though, it takes many years of hard work to become successful, but it is even harder to sustain that success and keep on adding to one’s efficiency.

13 Ways Successful People Improve their Efficiency

Here is the list of some recurring secrets and habits that are often followed by successful people, to improve their efficiency, and which should be pursued by aspiring people as well.


1. Regular Habits Deliver Big Results

Our routine and daily chaos can play a major role. If the routine is something that distracts one from their desired goal, then a shift in regular habits can be the trick towards success.

Though giving up regular habits is not easy, but simultaneously, it is key to produce a better version of oneself.

For e.g. leading writers and novelists, write less or more of material every day. This helps them improve their efficiency to write well.

Secret 1: Keep it standard and don’t break the rhythm or chain, this regular habit will lead to success.


2. Willpower Will Take You Anywhere

A lot of researches and studies claim, that to achieve any goal, anybody and everybody needs to have willpower within them. It is an assured resource for success. Famous psychologists state that making any decision needs willpower.

For e.g. Startups when take the initial entrance in the business world, it takes a lot of willpower to not loose out hope, as a startup takes a lot of time to reach the success bar. Here a good willpower will keep the new entrepreneurs focused to achieve assured success.


Secret 2: Willpower is a must and giving up is out of the question, when aspiring for success.


3. Don’t Run Behind Success, Take It Slow.

Usually, when new people in the race of success develop habits and routine to lead their way to victory, they get really pushy. Any process, habit, routine or even success for that matter, will take some time to fall in your court.

For e.g. Many reputed writers have gone through times, where their write ups were rejected or they failed to offer a bunch of words that failed to impress. But, most of them have said in their interviews or biographies, that what kept them going was their willpower.

Secret 3: Willpower is must, to keep it going towards success.


4. Introspection Is A Must

Self-analysis is the primary form of analysis that every successful person undertakes.

The famous personality, Steve Jobs (Apple), used to strongly support Zen philosophy and meditation practice, as the reason of his success.

In self-analysis one can be completely transparent about what needs to be corrected or what needs to be promoted as a practice.

For e.g. Many leading novelists often suggest out to aspiring writers, that self-editing is a must. If one wants to opt for proofreading by professionals then platforms like Contentmart can be opted, as to become a perfect wordsmith, sometime an introspection by a specialist can be of great importance too.

Secret 4: Introspecting oneself allows in defeating one’s own failures.


5. Sharing Is Gaining

Many successful people give credit to their group sessions or community meetings or talk sessions, for their growth. Talking and sharing thoughts and gaining new insights, is a prerequisite in a session with like minded people.

For e.g. Startups can attend many interactive sessions and meetup, where people with similar business background and thoughts, come to one place and share their ideology or ideas. This can help is grooming the efficiency for many.

Secret 5: Share your thoughts and ideas to gain new ones and get corrected for good.


6. Collaborative Approach Is A Must

A person alone can never achieve success, there are many helping hands who create a successful personality. Having a collaborative approach and taking every person, element and process together ahead, is a quality only successful people enclose.

Secret 6: Every person and element should be dealt and taken ahead in a collaborative approach.


7. Futuristic Approach

Thinking ahead and before time is a common trait witnessed in every winning personality. Having a futuristic approach helps people in developing a well-strategized plan, which can help them overcome challenges.

This advanced approach helps them visualize problems before time and thus, helps in planning in a manner that allows to have a plan B ready.

For e.g. Leading startups that have tasted success, have entrepreneurs that have a futuristic approach and claim their success to such an approach. They plan ahead and thus have a problem-solving strategy towards success.

Secret 7: Future is equally important to plan, as we plan the present.


8. Don’t Think Different, Do Different

Old is gold! But, not always.

To achieve something that no one has ever achieved, one has to do something, that has never been done. New approach, ideology, applications, strategy and what not, to achieve something spectacular; don’t just think differently, do differently.

For e.g. A startup to become successful, needs to introduce a business idea that is never thought of, nor implemented. Anything new and different has been always welcomed and encouraged.

Secret 8: Forget the notions, bring out what’s different in you.


9. Don’t Forget To Reward Yourself On Every Small Win

Don’t limit the rewards for the end goal achievement, take the pride to reward each small victory. To avoid an inevitable fail, celebrate small wins.

For e.g. Don’t wait for a digital marketing plan to reach 1 million, but celebrate those first 10,000 leads or targets that can motivate to prosper even further.

Secret 9: Reward yourself, no matter how small or big the win is.


10. A Failure Is Not The End

There might be many failures on the way to success.

Taking a small failure as a barrier to achieve the bigger goal is strictly a NO! Self motivation against a failure should always be a primary element of success. This motivation makes one to achieve more than desired.

For e.g. A draft idea or a business proposal might get rejected by seniors or investors, here instead of taking the failure as the ultimate decision, instead let it motivate you to work harder and attain that approval.

Secret 10: Failures are temporary, motivation for success is permanent.


11. Enjoy The Process Towards Success

If one doesn’t enjoy what they do, they will fail.

Not enjoying the process, will make it miserable to achieve success and is seen as a setup for failure. Try working on oneself and improve on a daily basis. All successful people enjoy the process more than the goal achieved.

For e.g. A writer might not enjoy the achievement of the final copy as much as he enjoyed the journey of reaching on to that conclusion.

Secret 11: Enjoy the process, it will make the journey to success easier and fruitful.


12. No Involvement In Negative Talks & Thoughts

There are thousands of mouths and even more suggestions or reactions. Some good, some bad. To achieve success, one must not involve in negative talks and thoughts. Whether they come from someone else or from within.

Encourage a positive vibe and avoid getting into negativity.

For e.g. Many entrepreneurs with their startup, face a lot of criticism about their business approach or idea, some from outside, some from within. To avoid them and to work ahead of them is a must.

Secret 12: Don’t let negativity touch or influence your goal.


13. Being Thankful

This is one of the most common qualities that can be witnessed in a successful person. Showing gratitude even with one ‘Thank You’ is more than enough.

Often at times, successful people do share their success with people who supported and helped them in their journey. Showing a humble gesture even in one sentence can do the justice.

For e.g. In books published or any written material for that matter, acknowledgement or thanks page is a must and comes before the actual write-up. This clearly depicts, that a ‘Thanks’ comes first.

Secret 13: Always show gratitude towards people who deserve a share in the success story.


Summary

Here’s a quick recap of the 13 ways successful people improve their efficiency:
Regular habits deliver big results
Willpower will take you anywhere
Don’t run behind success, take it slow
Introspection is a must
Sharing is gaining
Collaborative approach is a must
Futuristic approach
Don’t think different, do different
Don’t forget to reward yourself on every small win
A failure is not the end
Enjoy the process towards success
No involvement in negative talks & thoughts
Being thankful


So, to sum it up, if one is amongst those who chase success, embracing the above qualities can help such people achieve success and also will help in improving the efficiency quotient.
How else do successful people improve their efficiency? Leave a comment below.

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4 MUST KNOW Habits Of All Highly Successful People

The whole secret of personal success is to find out what your calling is, and then do it. The great question for success is, what are the habits of successful people? Why is it that some people have positive thinking patterns, while others do not? What determines your self-concept for success?

Many successful people have been interviewed over the years and asked the question, “What do you think about, most of the time?” Their answers are simple and consistent, and yet so profound that they can be life changing. In short, the habits of successful people revolve around positive thinking. They think about what they want, and how to get it.

Successful people have all concluded, one way or the other that the way your self-concept and mind is programmed from early childhood. Your self-concept plays a decisive role in almost everything you think, feel and accomplish as an adult. By learning these four habits of successful people, you too will become a successful person!

1. The Self-Concept

Your self-concept is the “master program” of your subconscious computer. It acts as your mental operating system. Every thought, feeling, emotion, experience, and decision you have ever had is permanently recorded on this mental hard drive. Once recorded, these impressions then influence the way you think, feel and behave from that point onward.

Your self-concept precedes and predicts your levels of effectiveness in every area of your life. Your self-concept explains why the mental laws have such an inordinate effect on your personality.

2. Habits Of Successful People Through Self-Concept

Once your self-concept in a particular area is formed, you always act in a manner consistent with it. You may have extraordinary ability in a particular area, but if your self-concept is poor in that area, you will always perform below your true potential. The habits of successful people are to have positive thinking and positive self-concepts in all areas of their life.

You have a self-concept for how well you speak in public. You have a self-concept for how popular you are. You have a self-concept for what kind of a spouse or partner you are. You have a self-concept for what kind of a parent you are. You have a self-concept for how well you perform in each sport or physical activity. You have a self-concept for how organized or disorganized you are. You have a self-concept for how well you manage your time and how productive you are. You have a self-concept for your ability to read, write and do mathematics.

In your business and career, you have a self-concept for every aspect of your financial life. Through positive thinking, you have a self-concept for how much you earn, and how hard you have to work to earn that amount of money. You have a self-concept for how rapidly you are promoted and how much your earnings increase year-by-year.

3. Your Comfort Zone

Whatever your self-concept, your habit of thinking with regard to money or any other area of performance, will become your “comfort zone.” Your comfort zone then becomes your greatest single obstacle to improved performance. Once you get into a comfort zone in any area, you will strive and struggle unconsciously to remain in that comfort zone, even though it may be vastly below what you are truly capable of achieving in that area.

The key to achieving your full potential and develop the same habits of successful people is for you to raise your self-concept in through positive thinking patterns. It is for you to develop new habits of positive thinking about what is possible for you. The way that you accomplish vastly more on the outside is by changing your thoughts and feelings about your potential in that area on the inside.

4. Program Positive Thinking For Greater Success

Your self-concept is your self-ideal. This is the ideal image or picture you have of yourself, as if you were already the very best person you could possibly be. Your self-ideal and self-concept is made up of your wishes, hopes, dreams, goals, and fantasies about your perfect future life, combined with the qualities and virtues that you admire most in yourself and in other people. Your self-ideal and self-concept is a composite through positive thinking of the very best person you could imagine yourself being, living the very best life you could possibly live.

High performing, successful, happy people have very clear self-ideals. They have clear ideas of what they like, respect and admire. They have clear ideals about the virtues, values and attributes of the superior men and women that they want to emulate. The most successful people have an uplifting, inspiring vision of what a truly excellent person looks like and how he or she behaves within their self-concept.
Your Potential Is Unlimited

You are a remarkable person, possessed of incredible untapped potentials and abilities. Whatever you have accomplished in life so far is only a shadow of what is truly possible for you. There are virtually no limits on what you can do, be and have except for the limits that you impose on yourself with your own thinking.

By following these four steps and by taking complete control of the development of your self-concept through positive thinking, you lay the foundation for the development that will enable you to accomplish more in the next few years than the average person accomplishes in a lifetime. By developing the habits of successful people you too will become a success.

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7 Small Habits to Help You Handle The Overwhelm of Working and Living in the Digital World

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”
George F. Burns

“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.”
Jim Rohn

Life today is quite different compared to when I was a kid in the 80’s and early 90’s. Back then I had a TV with just a few channels and later on a Nintendo videogame. That was it.

Today many of us have smartphones that we use to browse the internet, to work and to play games. We spend a many hours in front of computers and a part of our day is often spent online.

There is so much information these days. So many potential distractions and sources that seem to have made people more stressed, overwhelmed and unhappy than they were in the past.

Working and living in this age isn’t always easy.

So this week I’d like to share 7 habits that help me to keep my attention on what truly matters – both at work and in my private life – and at the same time minimize stress and overwhelm.

1. Shut off notifications.

To find focus the first simple thing to do is to shut off notifications in:
Your email client.
Messaging programs.
Social media and gaming apps.

Then get back to what truly matters without those pings hanging over you and distracting you.

2. Keep your smart phone far away for quality time/work.

The simplest way to not be distracted all the time by your smartphone is to put up small obstacles so you don’t have that easy and tempting access.

Here’s, for instance, what I do when I work:
I put the phone in silent mode.
I put it in another room at the other end of our home.
Then I check it a few times a day for calls and text messages.

We often do the same thing during the evenings and weekends to make sure that the time we spend together is quality time and not time spent being distracted.

3. Unplug or use an app to keep your focus on what matters.

When I write a new article or work on a course then I usually do that disconnected from the internet.

If that’s not possible for you then try a program or browser addon like for example StayFocusd or Cold Turkey Pro to temporarily block the sites where you know you tend to procrastinate and waste too much time.

4. Disconnect over the weekend.

Stay away from work and offline over the weekend. Leave your work phone at your job.

If that’s not possible keep things to a minimum:
Leave that work phone in silent mode and check it just every 24 hours over the weekend.
Do a quick 2 min check of email once a weekend (that’s what I do).
Reply only to the calls, texts and emails that are very important.Otherwise, let them wait until Monday.

5. Focus your information inflow.

Ask yourself:
What email newsletters in my inbox have I actually read and gotten something good out of in the past 30 days?
What podcasts I have listened to that have given me value in the past month?

You can ask yourself the same questions for magazines, blogs and forums and so on. Then take 5-15 minutes to unsubscribe to the ones that just clutter up your inbox, smart phone, bookmark list and shelves.

Time is limited. So is your attention.

So use both of them in a way that enriches your life and that focuses on only the best information sources. This very simple exercise can be surprisingly effective to get rid of mental clutter too and think more clearly again.

6. Stop comparing your life to someone’s high-light reel.

When you start comparing yourself and your life to what old classmates, friends and celebrities share on Instagram or Facebook and you each day see how perfect and wonderful their homes, kids, work and lives are then that can create a lot of stress and erode your self-esteem.

So what can you do if you get stuck in this habit?
Remember that what they share is usually just the high-light reel of their lives, the most positive moments. The other stuff that is a part of life happens too, you just don’t see it.
Focus on comparing yourself to yourself instead. See how far you have come, what you have learned and what you have overcome.

7. Remember the 5 little words for sanity: One thing at a time.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the tabs open in your browser or missed messages, when you’re distracted by something while trying to have quality time with your loved ones and when the stress is starting to build up remember those 5 little words.

Breathe and let them help you to connect with this moment and with simplifying things. Use them to slow down, to find clarity in what you need to do and to resharpen your focus and attention once again.

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How to Not Take Things So Personally: 6 Helpful Habits

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
Mahatma Gandhi

A very common problem that can drag your self-esteem down or build up so much anger that steam may start to come out of your ears is to take things too personally.

And so you may try to grow some thicker skin and let criticism, negativity or verbal attacks just wash off of you.

But that’s often easier said than done.

So in this week’s article I’d like to share 6 habits that really work for me – at least in most cases – and helps me to reduce the stress, anger and hurt in my life.

I hope they’ll be useful for you too.

1. Breathe.

Just focus on your breathing for a minute or two (or for a few breaths if that’s all the time you got).

Focus only on the air going in and out of your nose. Nothing else.

This simple exercise helps you to calm your mind and body down a bit. It helps you to create a bit of space between you and what has just happened and by doing so you’re less likely to have a knee-jerk reaction and to, for example, lash out verbally at the other person.

Going about things this way makes it easier to respond to the situation in the way you may deep down want to.

2. Get clarification.

Don’t jump to conclusions based on what you may have just misunderstood and let that drag you down in to anger or feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead, ask questions if possible to help clarify a bit about what the other person meant.

And, if you can, explain how what he said makes you feel. We have different perspectives and ways of communicating and he might not, for instance, realize that it came across as a bit harsh or rude.

3. Realize that everything isn’t about you.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that criticism or verbal attacks you receive are about you or something you did.

But it may simply be about the other person having a bad day, week or year. Or about how they are miserable at their job or in their marriage at this time.

And so they release some pent up emotions and tensions at you who is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Remind yourself of this when you wind up in a situation where you are likely to take things personally.

And if you find yourself in a relationship of any kind with a person who is repeating this negative pattern over and over again then it may be time to consider spending less time with him or even no time at all.

4. Talk it out.

When something gets under your skin and you start to take it personally then you can get stuck in a negative spiral of sinking self-esteem that just gets stronger and stronger.

Break out of that or prevent it by letting what happened out into the light. Talk it over with someone close to you and let your friend share her perspective on what happened.

Maybe she knows something about how the person that verbally attacked you is going through a tough time.

Or she could just listen and through that help you to sort things out for yourself and ground you in a more level-headed perspective on what happened.

5. Ask yourself: is there actually something here that could help me?

This one can be a tough one to ask yourself. And it may not always lead to something.

But by asking it so you can sometimes empower yourself. You can find one or more steps to take to improve whatever the criticism was about. You can start moving forward again and regain confidence in yourself and in what you can do.

Instead of getting stuck in inaction and in replaying what happened over and over again in your head.

This one can be especially helpful if this is the fifth or tenth time you have heard the same thing from people. Then there might be something here you would like to work on (even if that might not be so fun to face).

6. Improve your self-esteem.

I’ve found that as I’ve learned to improve and keep my self-esteem steady things don’t get under my skin as often. I don’t take them so personally and I keep a healthier perspective and distance to them.

And so they tend bounce off quicker and not drag my day or week down.

One simple way to start improving your self-esteem today is to be kinder to the people in your own life.

You can:
Help them out.
Listen when they need to vent or a friend to find a better perspective.
Give a genuine compliment.
Encourage when the world may seem negative to them.

The way you treat other people is how they will most often treat you too in the long run.

And, more importantly for your self-esteem, when you are kinder towards others then you tend to treat and think of yourself in a kinder way too.

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What to Do When Fear is Holding You Back in Life: 6 Powerful Solutions

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear.

It’s so easy to get stuck in it. To let it hold you back.

I have been there many times in my life.

The fear has, for example, held me back from:
Trying new things. It has held me back from trying something new for lunch or a new hobby because I feared I would have a bad experience or fail. And so I stuck to my usual routine and choices.
Asking someone out for a date. Because I didn’t want to risk being rejected or looking like a fool in eyes of other people.
Living my life like I deep down wanted to. The fear has held me in its grip and calmly explained to me that it would be best and most comfortable for me to stay where I am and to do nothing new. And many times I have sadly believed the fear and gotten myself stuck in a place where I honestly deep down didn’t want to be.

The fears we have are based in how we think about things. Destructive thought habits can create a lot of fear that is really unnecessary and damaging.

But there are also ways to handle these habits when they pop up and to – over time – replace them with healthier habits.

So today I’d like to share 6 destructive and fear-inducing thought habits and what to do instead of letting them roam free in your head.

1. You keep the fear foggy and undefined.

As long as your fear of doing something is foggy and undefined and just floating around in your head it will hold you back and often grow stronger with time.

What to do instead:

Ask yourself this question: what is the worst that could realistically happen?

And don’t just take a second or two to answer it.

Sit down with a pen and piece of paper. Take time to really think about it and to write out the realistic worst-case scenario.

This will:
Bring a lot of clarity to what you truly fear.
Defuse quite a bit of fuzzy fears or disaster scenarios that may have been bouncing around in your mind.
Help you to realize that you can often bounce back pretty quickly even if the worst-case scenario somehow becomes reality.

2. You keep the fear to yourself.
When you keep the fear to yourself then in my experience it can easily take charge of your imagination and build a horrific and paralyzing nightmare in your mind.

Just being alone with the fear makes it is easy to lose touch with reality.

What to do instead:

Writing it out as mentioned above can certainly help. Another step you can take is to share your fear with someone else.

By sharing and getting some level-headed input from a friend or family member that nightmare can often be quickly deflated and seen for what it really is.

And just talking about it to someone who truly listens will release a lot of your inner tensions.

3. You focus on aspects that will keep you stuck.

If you just focus on the negative things that could happen if you face your fear then it will be very hard to start moving forward.

What to do instead:

A change in perspective is needed.

You can get it by talking to your friend or family member and by exchanging ideas and experiences about what opportunities lie ahead if you move forward.

You do it by focusing on the positive and on why you want to move towards what you fear.

A few questions that have helped me to find the more constructive and positive perspective when I have faced a fear are:
What are the potential upsides that I want and can have by taking these actions?
What are the potential upsides in one year if I start moving on this path? And in five years?
And how will my life be in five years if I continue on the fearful path that I am on today?

Talk these questions over with someone. Or take out a piece of paper and write down the answers. Or do both.

4. You misinterpret the often little information you have.

It is easy to take very few experiences – maybe just one – and start seeing them as evidence of something permanent and frightening in your life.

What to do instead:

Question your fears and what they are based upon.

Again, sit down with that pen and a piece of paper. Think back to what evidence you have in your memories for a fear and a belief of yours.

Try to see the situation(s) that created your fear with fresh eyes today. Instead of the way you may usually see them.

Doing this helped me to for example reduce my fear of social rejection.

I looked back at a few situations from my past that formed and fueled that fear.

And I realized that:
Honestly, I may have just misinterpreted being rejected in some of those situations.
I often wasn’t rejected because it was something wrong with what I did but simply because we weren’t realistically a good match for each other. Or because the other person had a bad day or because he or she simply wanted to push me down to feel better about himself or herself in that moment.

This was an eye-opening experience and also helped me to understand that everything is not about me and what I do. And that our memories can often be pretty inaccurate and unhelpful if not reexamined later on.

And that our minds love to create patterns and conclusions based on very little evidence or few experiences.

5. You try to push the fear away.

When you try to deny a fear in your life, when you try to push it away or not think about it then it can often grow stronger.

What to do instead:

I have found in recent years that pushing the fear away can certainly work and help you to not be paralyzed from taking action. But I have also discovered that it can sometimes be more helpful to accept the fear.

To accept that it is there instead of for example trying to tell yourself to focus on the positive like a laser-beam.

That may sound a bit vague so here’s how I do it.
Breathe. Take a few breaths and focus only on the air going in and out to calm and center yourself a bit.
Tell yourself something like: “Yes, the fear is here. It simply is at this point in time.”
Take that feeling of fear in and just let it be there in your body and mind. It will be uncomfortable. But just for short while.

Because if you do then after a while – often just after a few minutes of discomfort in my experience – the fear starts to lose steam. It becomes a lot smaller or just seems to float away.

And it becomes a lot easier to think clear and constructive thoughts again.

6. You make it harder than it needs to be to take action.

If you think that you have to take action in a big, heroic and risky leap to overcome your fear then that may often lead to more fear and to not taking any action at all.

What to do instead:

A more helpful way to go about things is to not go all in at once. But to instead just dip your toes in. To take a small step forward but to do it today or as soon as you can.

And to take that first step slowly if you like.

The most important thing is that you start moving. That you start building momentum forward so that you can take more small and perhaps slow steps forward.

Doing things this way will not only build momentum but also self-confidence and expand your comfort zone. And all of this will make it a lot easier to take a bit bigger steps later on too if you’d like to.

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