7 Overlooked Tips to Help You Become More Expressive

We are in an era where we seem so busy and drained to technology such that it is easy to forget the simple things that make life interesting.

Life is the best thing we could ever ask for and it is worth spending the best moments doing pleasant things with people we love. Sometimes it is good to restore this simplicity in our lives.


7 Tips to Help You Become More Expressive & Open

In the end, the important thing is to be happy and proud of who we are and what we do. With this in mind, here are some tips, not only to make your life easy and happier, but to help you become more expressive and open.


1. Open up about how you feel

Are you one of those people who hide their emotions when wronged?

Or, you keep everything inside?

Sometimes we cannot avoid being angry. But, some of us keep and hide the anger inside. When someone does something that irritates you, do you get the courage to tell them, or do you keep it?

If you find yourself doing this, then you need to start making changes as it can cause huge stress in your life. The whole feeling leaves you disappointed and unhappy.

Finally, these emotions pile up and come out all at once. It’s not healthy.

Instead find ways to release these emotions effectively. Go to a friend and open up about everything. In the long-run, this will help you remain happy and grow healthier.

2. Stop battling with issues you cannot change/control
The best lesson I have learned in life is to accept whatever comes and let go what I cannot control. If you suddenly land into problems and you have no control over the situation, stop blaming yourself for it. Just move on and accept that your day was off the rails and there is nothing you could do about it.

If there is drama in your life, you can choose to walk away. Most of us find it difficult to make the move, but there is saying that;


“10% IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU, 90% IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT.”

Stop thinking about the issues you cannot change, just let them be.

3. Do some things with yourself and leave the rest to others

Remind yourself that you cannot do everything. Do what you can and leave the rest to others. Maybe you are a business owner and as usual, there are so many tasks to be done to make it grow.

If you are good at management do it perfectly. Assign qualified people to do marketing, public relations and more. This way you will not overwork yourself and it’s a good way to remain active both physiologically and psychologically.


4. Maintain open communication

Have you ever asked yourself what the people you love think when you do something? Maybe you thought they enjoyed watching a certain movie or going to a restaurant because you like it when, in fact, this was not the case.

Guessing what people think without asking them can create a lot of problems. But initiating communication and asking your spouse or loved one what they like, you avoid miscommunication down the line. This is a good way to maintain a happier relationship.


5. Try something new today

Are you scared to try something new?

Or do you find it hard to make decisions especially when you are in a compromising situation?

There is a saying that;


“IT’S BETTER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS THAN TO ASK FOR PERMISSION.”

In simple words, it’s better to act first and apologize later than to seek approval to act and delay in making an urgent move.

If you have something that needs to be done, do it. As long as you are confident and happy, make the move and don’t hesitate. Trying something makes you a lot happier than failing to try.

If it doesn’t work, that’s fine, at least you learned something. Move on to the next and keep doing that.


6. Live in the present

Have you ever heard the saying, “Live life like there is no tomorrow?” The more you live in the present, the happier your life becomes.

Lao Tzu said:


“IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PAST. IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU ARE AT PEACE, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE MOMENT.”

Live your life and be thankful for the little things you have. Happiness comes from within and we have to enjoy every moment.

7. Do not be afraid to ask for help

Asking for help is a simple action that seems hard to most people. People would rather struggle doing the wrong thing than ask for help. It takes a lot of courage to accept that you can do something on your own.

It creates a strange feeling of being afraid and vulnerable, and many people do not want to go down that road. One of the things that makes us not seek help is pride. Believe me, I have been there. I thought asking for help would show that I was weak.

No one wants to be seen as weak and most people choose to struggle on their own. Everything is fine in the first place until anxiety sets in. You start to worry about people seeing through you and see yourself as incapable.

But, this should not be the case. Loosen up and don’t be afraid to ask for help whenever you get stuck. You will find that you learn more and live happier.

Summary

No one knows exactly how the future will turn out, but the important thing is living simple and happier. My wish is that you will use these tips to focus on your living the best way possible and take control of your own life.

If you agree with me, you are on the right track to living a brighter and happier future.

Make it count!

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How to Worry Less About the Future and Make Each Week Awesome

I used to worry incessantly about how the future would turn out. Then, it finally dawned on me that all this worrying was doing nothing to help me. It was taking away from my present, and by doing that, it was draining my future from what it could eventually become.

I fundamentally began to realize that the feelings and actions I feel and take week by week, would ultimately create my future. So if I fret and worry now, I’m laying the seeds for continuing that cycle in the future. If I smile and do my best work now, then I’m laying the seeds for that too.

The only way I can be sure of creating a great future is to do my best to create a great present, incrementally improving it week by week – despite the mishaps and little pains that inevitably arise through the course of life.

These days, I write what I’m grateful for every morning and night. I hug my family every day. I do a little exercise each day. I eat a healthy meal each day. I work on my writing each day. Because small acts multiplied through Monday to Sunday and each week, change my future by an enormous amount.
Why are we focused on the distant future?

The underlying reason behind why we worry so much about the future is because we’ve put it on a pedestal. The same model of focusing on a particular guy or girl replicates itself with the way we lead our lives. Macy can’t stop thinking about Gary, so she’s spending less time feeling happy about her life; giving less time to her hobbies and friendships (her present). But really Gary is a scumbag (the future) and doesn’t care about her.


“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.” – Thomas Carlyle

Done right, thinking about the future may be useful since it can engender positive actions in the present. For instance, perhaps Macy realizes that Gary isn’t good for her after some careful thinking and starts focusing her attention on the right people and goals. Yet, when we concentrate on the future too much, it creates anxiety and a distorted vision that cripples our ability to take advantage of each week.

The first step in getting over our anxiety for the future is first to accept that the only reason why we’re anxious is because we’re looking away from what’s in front of us. The second step is recognizing that, at the deepest root, our anxiety for the future comes down to believing that it’s our salvation (most often, that’s never the case).
We need to change the lens we’re looking through

Since many of us don’t have a dominant overriding focus time view, our mind naturally gravitates to its default thinking; the distant future. But since our mind loves concepts, we might as well hold on to the one that serves us best. And a week to two weeks seems to be the sweet spot.

Tim Ferriss, the well know author of the Four Hour Work Week and Tools of Titans, lives his life through the mainframe of two-week experiments within six-month timelines; eschewing five-year plans for a more short term focus. Cancer patients, who know that their death is coming within the year, inevitably start losing their fear of being successful and start taking more action.

Several other different authors like Scott Adams, have explored the benefits of setting short-term deadlines and using systems based thinking. So for instance, instead of dreaming about writing a book, for example, ditch the idea and focus on writing a chapter per week. Short term focus gets you moving.

But you can’t do anything when you’re focusing on the what-if’s in-between a month, to five years, or a decade from now. And that state of inaction is what sets the stage for worry.

To worry less about the future, here are some of the things you can focus on through the lens of the week:
What time you wake up
What you choose to eat, read, and watch
Blocking 1-3 hours daily or more to drive you towards your goals
Meeting your friends
Saying thank you, smiling, and laughing as often as you can

We all have goals and dreams. But to build the best future possible, all you need to come back to is making your week as phenomenal as you can. Not too long ago, you were picturing how life would be like when you’d be *insert your current age*.


“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.” – John Lubbock

Don’t let that cycle repeat itself your whole life. Act this week, and make it count. Because once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.Though, I’m not saying we to live each day like it’s your last — we’re all going to have our off days. I just like you will have minor blips along my journey.

And having a perfectionist mindset is only going to screw us over in the long run. But long as we keep showing up in our work, relationships, and habits each week, the future will be okay. To have a dazzling future, all we need to focus on is making our average week better by 1-5% consistently.

By applying the principles in this article, living each week in a phenomenal manner will eventually become more and more natural. That’s the place where you want to get to. Where doing the hard things becomes easier. Where embracing the week instead of the imaginary future, becomes your default living mechanism.

Eventually, you’ll barely care about the future. Why? Because you’ll get all the thrills and fulfilment you need by crushing it every week.
What are some ways that help you stop worrying about the future so that you focus more on the present? Leave your thoughts below!

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How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an over thinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.


I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.

When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralysed in fear.

4. Realise that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an over thinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the head space I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.

By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

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How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going,” – Beverly Sills

Have you ever been in so much pain that you just felt like giving up?

I have. A few months ago, while competing in a trail run, I ended up completely lost. A group of us had missed a trail marker and gone down the wrong path for a whole extra mile.

The race was only four miles.

Before taking the wrong turn, I had been in first place. It was demoralizing to have worked so hard only to find out that I was going in the wrong direction. I was scared that I would lose the race I had trained so hard for.

Despite the fear, I knew I had to accept my mistake and turn around. I started running as fast as I could in the opposite direction. The rest of my group kept going, hoping that they would find the trail again soon.

Even though I was tired, I knew why I was there. A friend of mine was recovering from a traumatic brain injury. I was racing to win money for his rehabilitation.

One by one, I passed people, praying that I had enough time left to gain ground.

Ultimately, I ended up making up for my lost time and winning the race. If I hadn’t been able to stay in the moment and ignore the sunk cost of my mistake, it would have been impossible to come back from behind.

Sometimes life is uncomfortable. But even worse than feeling uncomfortable is feeling nothing. Flatlining.

Coincidentally, the things that make us most uncomfortable in life are also usually the most worth it.

From this experience I’ve learned a few things about how to keep going when you feel like giving up.



Why Persevere?
The majority of entrepreneurs fail not because they don’t have enough talent, skill, or good ideas. They fail because they stop too early.

Most bloggers burn out before they ever see the dramatic spike in traffic that they would need to build an audience.

It’s hard to go against the grain. To take your own path. And it’s even harder to continue down that path until it leads somewhere you want to go.

But there is a power in being deliberate. In making a decision to do something and committing to it completely. In seeing that path through no matter what.

Here are three ways to make it out of the woods:

1. Admit You Are Human

We often feel like quitting because we are afraid to fail. We want to go out on our own terms, so we compound our doubt with disappointment in ourselves.

This is a stupid strategy, and it only makes things worse.

The first step when you feel fear is acceptance. Accept that you have human emotions. It’s okay to feel things.

Instead of trying to push aside the pain, re-frame it. If you are feeling this way, it means that others are feeling it too. Some of them will quit. If you can keep going, you will be that much closer to doing what no one has done before.

Make a list of times that you felt discomfort and kept going. Use the list as a reminder that you have been here before. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Which brings me to my next point…

2. Remember Your “Why”

We sometimes consider giving up because we’re not seeing external results quickly enough. We are impatient for instant gratification. The truth is, things that matter take time.

When you start to question your path, remember why you started down it in the first place.

Most people don’t have very compelling reasons. They are doing it for money, fame, or respect. These rewards are all extrinsic. In other words, they are all external reasons for doing something and they can actually decrease motivation.

There are three main problems with focusing on extrinsic rewards:

They are out of your control
They are fleeting
They create stress
When you begin focusing on intrinsic reasons (e.g. love of your craft, the ability to help people, personal growth and challenge), it is much easier to keep going. You don’t have to wait to get these rewards.

If you need help finding your “why”, download my True North Toolkit. It will help ground you in your strengths, passions, and the problems that you can solve for the world.

3. Stay Present

The third most common reason that we quit is overwhelm.

We look at how far ahead successful people are. We look back at all the time and effort we’ve invested and worry that it could all be for nothing. We look at our massive to-do list and wonder how we will ever get it all done.

Stop.

Be where you are now. Be grateful for everything exactly the way that it is. Later, you will look back on the hard times and smile, knowing this was the good stuff.

Now, go back to the basics and take small, actionable steps.

Ask yourself: What could I do right now that would excite me and build forward momentum?

Then go.

The best path is usually not the path of least resistance. Take it anyway.

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I Have the Power to Change Myself

Challenges are regular visitors in our life, and nobody is immune to them. They can either make you lose hope, and even give up, or we can use these challenges to make positive changes in our life.

For instance:

Develop your passion

Having a passion for something, will motivate you towards achieving your goals. When setting your goals, you always want to be passionate about those goals, because if you love what you do, you will be driven by the desire to achieve success. This will go a long way towards reaching your dreams.

Believe in yourself

To believe in yourself is a prerequisite for success. When you have doubts, or negative feelings about yourself, you are sabotaging your progress. Instead you want to see yourself as a winner, and believe in yourself. Feeding your mind with positives, will reinforce your beliefs, and sweep any doubts out of your system.

Track your progress.

It is important that you take note of every improvement you make. This will motivate you to work even harder. Every step forward will give you a boost, and accelerate your efforts to the achievement of your ultimate goal. Learn how to control your emotions. It is important that you use your emotional intelligence, when you encounter problems in your life. You are a product of your thoughts and feelings, and any negative emotions that crop up, can negate the positive forward movement you enjoyed earlier. Approach any challenge with a positive outlook, which will help toward a quick, and positive resolution. You have all the tools you need, in order to make positive changes in your life. The potential for your life is absolutely staggering. The possibilities in front of you go way beyond anything you ever dreamed of. And the best part is, you are in control. It is in your hands to make the changes necessary, to take your life to new heights.

This statement is a perfect description about friendship. While all friends can buy you drinks, drive you home, and/or spoil you in any other way, only the best of them will help you to realize the awesome potential within you. It is only the best among them that can push you to achieve you full potential. It is only the best friend, who is able to give you the confidence to see your capabilities, and help you harness them, in order to set, and reach your lofty goals. It is not surprising, that such an expressive quote came from Henry Ford. Henry Ford is a legend in the automotive industry. The companies he set up continue to thrive, and are enjoying exponential growth. He himself was a remarkable success. To be, where he was, he must have experienced the upsides of many good friendships. Good friends, who spurred him on to become the success as we know it.

As you might have realized already, the path to success is often paved with frustrations and discouragements. Best friends come in, when you experience bout after bout of disappointments. They help you see the big picture, and encourage you to rise from momentary failures, and feelings of disillusionment. True friends will always be there when you need them. The best friendships begin when one person chooses to give unconditionally, when a person chooses to care. It is true, you will often come across individuals, who are ever ready to receive whatever you choose to give, without necessarily giving much back, if anything at all.

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Waiting for the PERFECT Moment! There Is Never ANY!

"Did you know that if you can see a cloud, it can see you?
Same for trees.
And beauty.
Tallyho, 
The Universe"

So much beauty around us but we fail to just stop what we are doing and start enjoying what is around us. We all have a focus in life, but while we try to understand our mission, our journey in life, we fail miserably in doing the thing we enjoy. We go with: “When I get the right job, I will be able to take advantage of life" or” when my business succeeds, I will have more money to enjoy life" or whatever else that crosses your mind when waiting for that perfect moment to do understand your purpose.

 I will need to be clear with you on something. There is NEVER a perfect moment, a perfect time, a perfect job, a perfect business, a perfect relationship, and a perfect anything. There is NEVER that. You need to have faith that everything you do today will have great impact in how you live your life tomorrow. We all rely on faith that things should change for the better, because I trust God that it will. So what is faith? "It is the acceptance of which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove". You can't really prove that having faith in something will render the wishes and hopes that it will come true. 

The belief that you have towards the power from above is what keeps you on moving forward, and never waiting on that perfect moment to act. Life is so fragile, filled with uncertainties. You, I or nobody else can predict your future or how it will turn out. The only thing you can do NOW is to live your life NOW. We are running away and towards something, not really knowing exactly what it is. We fight in wars, in battles that is never really won because of all the destruction that is left behind. The world is NOT ours, we haven't built it. 

It came to us as a blessing, as a property that we rent, but do not own. We took what was given to us and added what we felt could change the world. Yes, it did change it, but do you think for the better? The Garden of Eden was already paradise, but because of the presence of humans, we created some kind of hell that we all are facing its repercussion. We need to all make a change, to start realising that change is imminent before it is too late.
Environmental factors have a detrimental effect on us, human beings. 



We don't realise it because we go on our day without realising that we are controlled, just like RC cars or aeroplanes. We are the receiver and someone is playing with the transmitter of that RC gadget. We need to change the frequency so we can detach ourselves from what I think can be destruction of human kind. There is something happening and it is not looking great for any of us. Opening our eyes is crucial to understand our environment and taking action. It is important that we take control of our own future because if we let it go as it is and not do anything about it, there will be severe consequences. It is a combination of what you see in the news (with terrorism as being a stepping stone to what can be worst and more damaging) because terrorism is just a way for us NOT to focus on what is going internally, in OUR country. They are keeping our mind busy with something else that will change our world as we see it. Time will tell! We just need to be ready for something that will shake everyone right deep in our soul.

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