Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindful. Show all posts

Monday, 30 January 2017

Low Self Esteem Can Ruin your Life



Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement. Don't let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.

Your mind can play costly tricks on you:


nothing you do seems to go right;

you believe that most people do not like you;

you believe that you are not attractive;

you choose something and it turns out to be the worst one;

you are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense;

You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.



You ask yourself, "Just what's wrong with me?" The 
answer: Your thinking!

Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem! From this moment on, begin to think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.

Very often one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.

Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be. You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.

Stop procrastinating! Begin now to make that all-important change in your life.You may have to find new friends and acquaintances, people who encourage you and give you that extra boost that you need.

A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.

If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do your best to overcome it. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education. You know that sort - they are called 'drop-outs.' Strangely enough many decided to override their low self esteem and change their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and 
women that ever lived.

Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates. Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it. Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. 

Stop belittling yourself; success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.





Saturday, 19 November 2016

How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live?

I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much.

They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore.

Or over analyse and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

Now, thinking things through can be a great thing of course. But being an over thinker can result in becoming someone who stands still in life. In becoming someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life.


I know. I used to overthink things a lot and it held me back in ways that weren’t fun at all.

But in the past 8 years or so I have learned how to make this issue so small that it very rarely pops up anymore. And if it does then I know what to do then to overcome it.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective.
It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life.

So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself:

Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

I have found that widening the perspective by using this simple question can snap me quickly out of overthinking and help me to let that situation go and focus my time and energy on something that actually does matter to me.

2. Set short time-limits for decisions.

If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time.

So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

Here’s what have worked for me.
For small decisions like if should go and do the dishes, respond to an email or work out I usually give myself 30 seconds or less to make a decision.
For somewhat larger decisions that would have taken me days or weeks to think through in the past I use a deadline for 30 minutes or for the end of the workday.

3. Become a person of action.


When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking.

Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action.

Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

It works so well because you do not feel overwhelmed and so you do not want flee into procrastination. And even though you may be afraid, taking just a step is such a small thing that you do not get paralysed in fear.

4. Realise that you cannot control everything.

Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool.

But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

But in most cases they have also seen these things as valuable feedback to learn from. Those things that may look negative have taught them a lot and have been invaluable to help them to grow.

So stop trying to control everything. Trying to do so simply doesn’t work because no one can see all possible scenarios in advance.

This is of course easier said than done. So do it in small steps if you like.






5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten my hours of sleep.

It took a bit of practice to get this to work but I have gotten pretty good at postponing thinking in this way. And I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in much better and more constructive way.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears.


Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce.

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes of time and bit of energy and it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

7. Work out.

This might sound a bit odd.

But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

It most often makes me feel more decisive and when I was more of an over thinker then it was often my go-to method of changing the head space I was in to a more constructive one.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment.


By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

Three ways that I often use to reconnect with the present moment are:
Slow down. Slow down how you do whatever you are doing right now. Move slower, talk slower or ride your bicycle more slowly for example. By doing so you become more aware of how you use your body and what is happening all around you right now.
Tell yourself: Now I am… I often tell myself this: Now I am X. And X could be brushing my teeth. Taking a walk in the woods. Or doing the dishes. This simple reminder helps my mind to stop wandering and brings my focus back to what is happening in this moment.
Disrupt and reconnect. If you feel you are getting lost in overthinking then disrupt that thought by – in your mind – shouting this to yourself : STOP! Then reconnect with the present moment by taking just 1-2 minutes to focus fully on what is going on around you. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, hear it, smell it, see it and sense it on your skin.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things.

Your social environment plays a big part. And not just the people and groups close to you in real life. But also what you read, listen to and watch. The blogs, books, forums, movies, podcasts and music in your life.

So think about if there are any sources in your life – close by or further away – that encourages and tends create more overthinking in your mind. And think about what people or sources that has the opposite effect on you.

Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

Friday, 21 October 2016

How to Approach Tasks You Really Hate Doing & Win

Everyone needs to do things they hate from time to time.

It might be anything from basic chores to a dull part of an otherwise interesting project. Those who get things finished know how to push through the tasks they hate in order to work on what they love.

Nobody is immune to procrastination, and even the most hardworking people around have their weak moments. While procrastination happens occasionally with neutral tasks, it’s a common problem people go through when facing things they really hate doing.


How to Approach Tasks You Hate Doing

Here are 9 strategies to help you find the motivation for doing tasks you hate and win every time you push them to completion.








1. Create a To-do List & Tackle Your Hardest Tasks First

To-do lists are the single best solution for making sense of your work and daily life.

Organization and scheduling is much easier if you’ve got a daily, weekly, or monthly to-do list as your point of reference.

Most of the time, you’ll spot your least favorite tasks at the very bottom of your to-do list. The trick to getting these done is simply moving them to the top.

This way you’ll gain a boost of motivation when thinking about more pleasant things that come right after the hard part.

Moreover, after completing your hardest tasks, everything else will look very easy in comparison. In other words, your to-do list will become a downhill ride.


2. Give Your Tasks More Depth


Boring tasks are annoying because they’re very narrow and don’t allow you to be creative.

A good solution to this problem is giving your task more depth. This is how you’ll make it more interesting and become focused on the task, consequently completing it faster than ever before.


CONSIDER YOUR ACTIVITY AS AN ART FORM THAT DESERVES TO BE MASTERED.

Instead of seeing it as an on-off kind of task, look at the potential ways in which you could achieve more in less time. Take small steps to make the task more enjoyable and always look for smart ways to optimize it.


3. Measure Time Spent on Various Tasks

One of the best methods to stop wasting time is to start measuring it. Record how many hours you spend on various activities during your day and put them all into a chart.

Every time you look at this chart, you’ll want to keep it moving in the right direction. That’s how you get a powerful motivation boost for your work. If you procrastinate, you’ll see its consequences right in front of you.

If you’re facing a series of things you absolutely need to do but don’t enjoy, create a chart to keep track of the time you spend on working towards their completion. This anti-procrastination technique is excellent if you’re having a bad week and can’t find the motivation for tackling the hardest or dullest tasks in your schedule.


4. Come up With Another Goal

Transforming an awful task into something pleasant isn’t always an option. But you still need to get it done. This is where you can use your objectives as effective leverage.

Instead of despairing over your activity, try to think about it in broader terms. How does it relate to your final objective? What is its meaning for your bigger picture of success?

This perspective will help you to see the task in a different light and get a motivation boost when you realize that it’s necessary for reaching your final goal.

Remind yourself of this goal once in a while to push through the things that you don’t find that exciting.


5. Set a Timer

If you need to complete a short mindless task, set a timer to ensure that you get it done as quickly as possible.

Create a specific window of time and you’ll be challenged to keep your focus throughout the activity. This way you’ll also get to more pleasant tasks sooner.








6. Make the Most Out of Your Time

Sometimes the most boring tasks are those which involve waiting, driving around, or mindless repetition of the same activity. Use this time to do something meaningful

If you’re stuck in traffic, listen to calming music or audio-books. If you’re waiting for an appointment, read a book or meditate. Listen to an interesting podcast while folding your laundry.

You can actively prevent this time from going to waste by adopting these habits that allow to live a fuller and more mindful life.


7. Focus on Your Task

If you think that getting over with a task as quickly as possible is a measure against procrastination, you’re making a huge mistake. This kind of attitude actually prevents people from getting started at all.

One way to stomach the unpleasant activity is to simply focus on it. Sometimes intense focus can help you start loving tasks you previously hated.


COMMIT TO THIS ACTIVITY AND INVEST ALL YOUR ENERGY TO CONCENTRATE ON IT.

Instead of thinking about all things you could be doing instead of this one, focus and do your best to complete it as efficiently as you can. Who knows, maybe you’ll start enjoying it in the process?


8. Break it Into Smaller Parts


Getting started is where things get difficult. We generally like to avoid tasks we hate for as long as possible. When we finally get started, we might get stuck for ages.

That’s why the key to boosting productivity lies in making it easier to get started. If an activity looks intimidating, you should break it into smaller components and commit to every single one of them.

If you’re a writer, set yourself a goal of one paragraph a day. This will make your task seem less daunting and give you motivation to complete the job once you stop actively avoiding it.


9. Delegate Tasks You Hate to Other People

Look around and you’ll inevitably find people in your life who could help you with these activities. If you build an image of yourself as too capable, others might easily start taking advantage of your ability and willingness to work on such tasks.

If you can’t find anyone to whom you could delegate your tasks, why not hire somebody to do them for you? Sure, it’s not a solution that will work for every kind of activity, but if the tasks in question can be outsourced, and you can afford it – just go for it.

This is especially valuable for managing tasks which are time-consuming. Just think of all the time you’ll gain to spend on other, more profitable or enjoyable activities. Plus, by hiring someone you’ll be helping them out as well.


Summary

Use these strategies and you’ll be on your way to getting more work done, consequently gaining more time for rest and doing things you really love.


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