How Do We Know If We Can Trust Someone?

Many of us trust too easily only to discover that we were betrayed. Others of us don't trust at all. Trusting too quickly, or not trusting at all, usually says more about us than about the other person. Trust is not something that we want to automatically do when we meet someone. We also don't want to automatically mistrust someone either. Some of us experience an involuntary response to trust, or not to trust, and neither one of these extremes serve us well.

Trust is something that takes time. It's a process.

Trust is a process

When I say, trust is a process, it means that it takes time to get to know someone. If we enter a relationship at a slow and steady pace, we will discover more about who the other person's true self. We can then determine whether they can be trusted with our feelings, and our shared personal information, because our trust is the greatest gift we can give someone.

Finding the Balance

Some of us were betrayed early in life, and we don't trust easily because of that. Others so desperately want to be in a relationship, or a friendship, that we rush to trust someone to make that happen. We don't give ourselves the opportunity, and time, to get to know that person to determine if they are trustworthy, or not.

In adulthood, often not being able to trust a friend, or a potential romantic partner, may be because we have been betrayed in our childhood, adolescence, or at some time as an adult. The person desiring our trust may very well be trustworthy, however we may not be able to recognize this due to our history.

Our Past Relationships Reflected in The Present

One of the first big tasks of our lives is establishing trust versus mistrust. As a child, we develop a sense that our needs will be met, versus a sense that they won't. Our view of the world is often determined by how secure we feel that we can rely on others for our expectations to be met. If we have had good, consistent relationships in the past, we may assume as much from our current and future relationships, and trust too easily based upon this experience.

If our parents, or our experiences in past relationships, were inconsistent in meeting our needs, we may fear current and future relationships will respond the same way. We make ourselves vulnerable when we trust. Withholding our trust may be used as self-preservation to protect us from being hurt again. How can I trust myself from past mistakes?

It's Not You, It's Me

Sometimes it is challenging to differentiate to determine if we are not feeling trustworthy of someone else. Is it about them? Or is it about our own history? So many times, I have heard during psychotherapy sessions that, "My friend is talking about other people and I'm uncomfortable. I don't know if I ought to trust them or not."

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What To Do What Your Anger Is Out Of Control

How frequent is it when you notice that your anger and emotions are getting out of control that's driving you all sorts of inappropriate, reckless, crazy behaviors?

To the majority of us, it's undeniable that life is tough, challenging and stressful these days. However, it is still important to learn how to control your temper.

One critical thing to remember is that you are always 100% in control of your emotions.

While you should never find yourself in a situation that you can't control, you always have choices as to how to react to any kinds of situations.

By allowing yourself to even think that your temper is controlled by other people or circumstances, you are just making an excuse for yourself!

To a certain extent, anger is actually a powerful emotional response.

It reminds you what you don't like about your life and what matters to you. It allows you freely express your frustrated feelings, but it should never overpower your self-control.

If you find that you are turning into a violent beast when angry hits you, you have an imminent dangerous problem to fix. If you really find it difficult to handle, you might as well consult some anger management experts for advice.

Remember this powerful paradigm shift: It is not how you are feeling that is wrong. It is what you do with your feelings that become the issue.

If you allow yourself to throw a tantrum and fling your arms around, ranting wildly like a lion king, this is obviously not a good sign. You are liable to hurt other people's feelings as well as possibly causing them physical harm.

When you let your temper get the better out of you, you may face serious consequences like:

Detrimental to your unstable mental health

Severely damaging your physical health, some may even trigger heart attacks or latent diseases

Ruining your professional career because you're confronting your boss, colleagues or even clients in a mindless way

Destroying relationships with friends, family, lovers and co-workers

Failing to create the kind of impact you want in the world because no one wants to help you with your vision and mission

Luckily, there are solutions to this problem.

Your first step is to seek out help and learn to manage your temper in a more effective way. This can include group therapy or it can consist of you learning how to manage your anger by yourself.

Learning to control your temper will take time, energy, effort and patience. One of the first things you should do is to try to determine what the root cause of your anger is.

Did you grow up in an angry household where you witnessed a lot of fights and dramas? 

Have you experienced a traumatic event in the past about people?

Sometimes the root cause of anger can be hidden deep inside. It is only with a lot of self-reflection, soul-searching and meditating that the answers will be revealed.

Find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and start making a list of all the things that make you angry. Then put them in order of importance - which one lights your fuse first. Once you know what your root cause is, you will be able to devise a better strategy to deal with it and slowly change your behavior.

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I Don't Like Me When I'm Angry

I have to admit, I get angry at times. There are moments when something happens or someone does something, and I get upset. I'm human. Anger is a normal emotional response to things. If you have ever met someone who says they do not get angry ever, then they are probably not being honest with themselves.

However, when I was younger, I would hold onto my anger in a righteous manner. I would almost feed my grudge until it was larger than it originally was. It would take my energy for days and ruin my mood and even affect those around me. The worst part was, when I would run across the person who had so upset me to begin with days or weeks later, they were usually fine and going on with their life. I was the one who was stuck in the black hole of my own negativity.

We are all composed of energy. And unfortunately, negativity seems to affect us more easily and longer than positivity. That is, it tends to take more positivity and more awareness on our part to focus on the positive to combat all the negativity that is around us every day. This is even more vital if we are creating and feeding that own negativity within ourselves.

The Buddha is quoted as saying, "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Holding onto anger truly only affects the one holding onto it. The other people can choose to move on with their lives, but in order for you to, you must let it go. This is not always easy but once you do, you will be amazed at the freedom and lightness that will come into your life. Let go of the anger and free yourself from the poison.

1) Are you holding onto any grudges right now? If so, it's time to let it go. Realize it is in the past and focus on the positive.

2) The next time you get upset, allow yourself to feel it but then let it go. Do not feed the anger or keep making it bigger in your head. Remember, not everything will go your way all the time and that is okay.

3) For the next 21 days, wake up each morning and say one thing you are grateful for. Throughout the day, focus on that positive thing.

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Top Tips To Help You Stop Procrastinating

Here are my top tips to help you stop procrastinating:

Tip #1 Small Chunks

Just divide all the things you have to do into small chunks. It doesn't matter if you only have a little time and think it's not worth starting anything now. Honestly IT IS! If I'd have done lots of little bits daily in my business (when I thought I didn't have enough time) I'd be much further ahead than I am now!

There are many times I can think of now where I wasted 30 mins at least thinking about pointless things when I could have listened to half an hour of audio training, written a blog, filmed a video or done some internet research etc! So YES these snippets of time are so valuable for doing SOMETHING! Perhaps you're a mum like me who is always busy, looking after children, doing housework, working part time and also building a business from home. You may also have pets and other commitments which keep you constantly tied up! So therefore any snippet of time is valuable! So use them wisely!

Tip #2 Brainstorm & Write A Weekly Plan

Firstly do a brainstorm or brain splurge on paper where you literally write out all of the things you need to do. That will instantly make you feel better! I used to find that I had so much to do I was scared to think about everything so it was easier to block it out and just do nothing! Very productive!!

So if you just get every single thing out on paper that you need to do, then prioritise each task and make a weekly plan. Then you can see clearly what you need to do and when. Give realistic time scales as otherwise you'll put too much in one day, not get it done and feel bad! So write down what you think you'll achieve per day. Even if you don't get around to doing everything that day, just be gentle with yourself knowing that you've been productive and forward those things on to the following day.

Tip #3 Change your environment

If you're finding that you're not getting much inspiration to do any work then try changing your location/environment. You may normally work in a particular room but perhaps you're not feeling motivated. Whether you change rooms or even go out and find a coffee shop or go for a walk, changing your environment can really help you get back on track and help stop you procrastinating.

Tip #4 Listen to Music

Try listening to music, something that gets you really revved up and in the mood for working. Some people have running music to help them run faster, such as 'eye of the tiger'. I love a song by Enigma and even though it's not a fast song, I feel energised when I listen to it and it makes me want to get on and work my business. It also makes me feel happy and empowered. So try it for yourself and have fun choosing a song or songs to give you momentum!

Tip #5 Have a buddy

Either have one person, like a buddy or tell various friends and family what you're doing. Then you're holding yourself accountable for getting things done. If someone is expecting to receive a blog or report etc from you at a certain time or day then you're more likely to get it done on time rather than if you're just going to put it out there for anyone to see. If you're advertising something or are broadcasting material to nobody in particular then it's easy to procrastinate and let other more pressing things come first. So always believe there is someone waiting for you to deliver.

Tip #6 Just Do It!

Often we want things to be done perfectly and if they're not, we don't finish what we're doing, and therefore end up procrastinating! You may have to be a bit harsh with yourself, like a personal trainer can be, and just get on with it! Rather than making excuses and trying to make something so perfect that you end up procrastinating, just take control and TAKE ACTION! I promise you will feel so much better afterwards!

Working on my business from home has helped me learn a lot about myself and how easily I can procrastinate! But the reason WHY I'm working for myself from home is so important that it makes me have lots of 'Get Up & Go' and want to work hard! My WHY is my children who I want to spend as much time as possible with. And I want to give them the best life possible.

I wish you luck in your journey to stop procrastinating!

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Three Steps to Live a More Powerful Life

Most of us are living below our potential. We let opportunities slip past. We don't ask for what we want. We don't give all we can. We desire more, but we don't make it happen. We are all capable of more. I know that you are capable of more. Reaching higher potential is simple but will require work and action. Here are three steps to live your life to the fullest.

First, know what you want. It sounds simple and obvious but many of us are living through our own personal zombie apocalypse. We let inertia carry us through life. So fearful of change and the unknown, we continue doing the same passionless job day after day, year after year, until much of our life has slipped by. Knowing what you want can be an intense process. Start by questioning yourself and writing everything down. What excites you? What do you despite? What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning? What keeps you in bed when you should be up? Track your thoughts and feelings for a week or two. Then read over it and look for patterns. Look for those negatives you need to eliminate from your life and start dreaming up positive alternatives.

Second, create an action plan. Once you understand what it is that you want, break it down into a number of manageable steps and objectives. Draw a path between where you are and where you are looking to go. Create a strategy that supports your goals. Understand that everyone has three budgets: Time, Energy (physical, emotional, spiritual) and Income. In the short term, these budgets are largely fixed. That is spend an extra hour doing one thing, then you are going to spend an hour less doing something else. Look for those few vital behaviors that will lead to the greatest benefit. Create daily habits around those vital behaviors. For example, getting in shape may require a daily activity habit. Growing a business will likely require a daily habit of calling potential customers. Measure your input.

Third, work your action plan. Success comes from a combination of motivation, determination and positive habits. Create an environment that will lead to success by eliminating or minimizing obstacles. Your environment and associates should make it easier to do the positive actions and more challenging to do the negative actions. Create obtainable milestones and simple habits. Enlist someone to help hold you accountable. Stop frequently and make sure you are still on track to accomplish your goal. If not, adjust as necessary.

Reaching any goal, whether it is a personal, financial, health or relationship goal, can be reached using this process. Don't make the process more complicated than these three steps and don't delay. Get started today.

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Becoming Rich in Your Own Way

If you really want to become rich, then begin by evaluating your work habits and work environment. That's how most millionaires made their first million. According to Dr. Srully Blotnick, a psychologist and consultant who spent 20 years studying how people became rich, most millionaires didn't make their money in real estate, the stock market, or waiting for their ship to come in.

They made theirs, instead, through their business or profession. They became so good at their job that they made quite a bit of money. Then, and only then, did they turn to real estate and stocks as sites to invest and grow their money. Even then, their basic business continued to produce the bulk of their gains; their investments usually produced only mediocre results by comparison.

There's a monumentally important lesson to be learned from the hundreds of millionaires that Dr. Blotnick studied for 20 years. The lesson is this: If you really want to become rich, invest in yourself first; invest in real estate, stocks, and other ventures later. Dr. Blotnick divided this into two stages:

· The first takes place when you're consumed by a business or profession that you enjoy so much that you would do it for nothing.

· After it pays you enough income, you enter the second stage. This is when you become a bona fide investor. You start thinking of and looking for opportunities to use your surplus income.

To set yourself and your career on track, evaluate yourself by answering these questions about:

liking your work:

· How much do I really like my job?

· Does my job bring out the best in me?

· Has it caused me to do more than I ever thought I could do? If you answered any of these questions in the negative, consider a job or career change.

determining if your work is right for you:

· How can I tell if I really like my work?

· How do I know if I'm doing my work right?

· How do I know if I'm doing the right kind of work?

The best way to determine that is to apply these test questions:

· What would I do for free?

· Am I enjoying my work so much that time seems to fly by?

· How would I like the work to be done if I were on the receiving end?

· What would I do if I didn't have to support myself, but did indeed want to work?

· What work would I do if my doctor told me that I had only five years more to live?

considering my financial rewards:

· Am I contended with my current income?

· Am I in position to influence a change in my income?

· What if the work I enjoy doing doesn't pay very well?

If you're satisfied with the first two, then I say, "Hang in there! You're on your way to becoming rich." People who became rich did so because they persisted. Only a personal involvement with what you enjoy doing will produce the kind of persistence that propels you out of bed in the mornings and makes you willing to work long and hard.

investing in yourself:

· Am I developing my skills, talents, and abilities?

· Have I made a plan that will help me to develop them?

· Am I constantly improving my relationship with others?

· Do I ask my co-workers for feedback about my performance?

Investing in yourself means developing both of these aspects: the technical knowledge you need in order to do your work effectively and the human relations skills you need in order to work effectively with others. Mr. Joseph Brooks, CEO at Lord & Taylor, once said, "If you love your work, and do it well, someone will spot that ... Let the quality of your work do it for you."

To become rich, do it your own way. Rely on your own talents, skills, and abilities. Invest them in a business or profession that you enjoy doing very much. Invest in your personal growth and development. Become the very best at what you do at your work even if it pays you little right now. If you really like what you are doing, eventually a fat salary will catch up with your reputation. The bottom line is persistence. Become an expert at relating well with others.

Remember: When you maximize your potential, everyone wins. When you don't, we all lose.

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Not Getting What You Want in Life? Your Thoughts Could Be the Culprit

Unhappy? Stressed out? Do you feel you not only want more fun in your life, but you need more fun in your life? You seem to be doing all the right things, but yet you still feel unfulfilled. So, what's wrong? You want that feeling of happiness again, like that sense of pleasure you had as a child when you saw your first rainbow. But now you feel like you aren't getting what you want out of life, and it's leaving you feeling disheartened. The answer could be that your thoughts are sabotaging your happiness.

Is it possible that our thoughts have that much power over us? Yes! Our thoughts are the most powerful manifesting agent we have. Our thoughts work together with our subconscious mind to manufacture our reality. Our thoughts dictate to our subconscious mind to create what it's saying. Our subconscious mind is non judgmental; it is like a computer assembling data. Whatever data you give it, it will accept. If the data is false or inaccurate, the computer doesn't care, it will accept whatever you punch in.

Our mind works in the same way. Our internal dialogue is the data that we input to our subconscious mind. Our daily thoughts are the information that our subconscious uses to create. Our subconscious mind's job is to make our thoughts materialize. If your internal chatter says, I'm not as intelligent as my co-worker, your subconscious minds says, "Okay you're not as intelligent as your co-worker, I'll produce that for you. I will manifest your co-worker getting that promotion instead of you, to show you that it's true." If your internal chatter is always complaining about the injustices that happen to you, and that you are a victim, your subconscious mind says, "Yeah, you are such a victim, you are always getting treated unfairly; I will create a circumstance where you are treated unjustly, so you can be victimized."

Have you ever wondered why successful people keep getting successful? It's because of their thinking. They have found the formula to success, their thoughts. Your subconscious is hard at work creating what you tell it. It wants to please you, so it will do what you think. Changing your outer world starts by changing your inner world first. When your inner world isn't congruent with your outer world, it creates turmoil inside your body, leaving you with the feeling of being stressed, tired, and an overall sense of unhappiness.

How do you stop the sabotage? Pay attention to your thoughts and internal dialogue. When you hear your little voice say anything limiting or negative, stop and replace that thought with what you really want, and believe you deserve it. It doesn't stop there, and then you have to take action into making that a reality. Act as if it were already true. When you do this, your subconscious knows you are serious about making a change, and it will assist you into getting what you really want. It will take a little time to start manifesting, but you will see a difference. Changing your thoughts results in changing your life.

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Self Improvement and Living in the Present Moment

Having clear goals and desires for our future, and planning for their fulfillment are vital steps if we are serious about self improvement and achievement.

Delayed gratification is something that is practiced by many successful people, even if they aren't aware of it. In simple terms, delayed gratification means making sacrifices now in order to achieve greater rewards in the future.

Most successful people become successful because they take actions and make sacrifices that less successful people are not prepared to do or make. However, in order to live a well rounded life and enjoy a rewarding lifestyle, we also need to be able to make the most of where we are at any given time.

Most of us have on ongoing internal dialogue within our minds, even if we aren't aware of it. We rehash events that have happened to us in the past and replay them in our minds, both good and bad. We also visualise events that we expect to happen to us in the future, both good and bad. When we're at work we spend time thinking about our domestic lives, and when we're at home we think about our problems at work. If we're not careful our days can slip by without us really noticing.

This can happen so easily, that we sometimes need to make a concerted effort to enjoy each present moment - or run the risk of depriving ourselves of a lot of pleasure. Planning for the future is essential, and we can all learn from the past. However, savoring the present moment and enjoying the simple pleasures, like a beautiful sunset, or the joy of a laughing child, or a walk on a deserted beach with a loved one, can make our lives infinitely richer.

Self Improvement Quote of the Day:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha

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10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously, during this time I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

He came for a surprise visit this past weekend, and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend.

When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

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How To Turn A Negative Situation Into A Positive One

Negative emotions are the single biggest enemy that any of us have.

If we had no negative emotions, our lives would be wonderful — as would our relationships, our health and everything else.

I’ve spent more than 4,000 hours studying this, and today I will be providing you with some strategies for turning negative situations into positive ones.


Where Do Negative Emotions Come From?

The great business of life is to eliminate negative emotions. To solve this, we have to answer the question:

Where do negative emotions come from?

Almost all negative emotions depend on blaming someone or something else for negative situations that happen in their life. The problem here then, is that people hold on to those negative emotions, even if they cannot change the outcome and are angry about it.
The Key To Eliminating Negative Emotions

The key to eliminating negative emotions is this:

Take responsibility for yourself, your reactions and your situation.

You cannot take responsibility for your life, your situation, and your reactions and be negative at the same time. Your mind can only focus on one thought at a time, positive or negative.

So anytime you feel negative say to yourself over and over again:

“I am responsible.”

You might be thinking right now: “But Brian, in a situation involving other people, how can I be responsible for what they did?”

Here’s how: In every situation, whether it involves you directly or not, you are always at least partially responsible for what happened.

You got yourself into the situation, you stayed in the situation, you did or said certain things in the situation, so you’re not completely innocent. You at least had something to do with it.

Here’s another possibility: Let’s say you had nothing to do with the negative situation, maybe you weren’t involved at all. You’re still responsible for how you respond to it.

This is what is called your ‘response-ability’ — your ability to respond in a positive way. And again, to respond in a positive way, you simply repeat to yourself “I am responsible.”
You Have Complete Control

The truth is nobody can make you feel negative, other than you. If you think about things that make you feel unhappy or angry, you are going to feel negative. If you think about things that make you happy and excited about your life, you will feel positive.

The most important thing to remember about negative feelings is this: you have complete control over the way you feel, the way you respond to any situation and the things you think about at any minute of the day.

Exercise your ability to respond positively, take responsibility for your role in negative situations, and allow yourself to let go of negative feelings that might be trapped inside of you.

Before we wrap up, I’d like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers:

“Accept complete responsibility for every part of your life. Refuse to blame others or make excuses.” @BrianTracy

Now I’d love to hear from you. So my question today is:

“Which recent negative situation in your life can you turn into a positive?”

Leave a comment below, and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

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What To Do When Your Life Is Completely Out Of Control

No matter how much self-development you do, there is going to be a time when even the most perfect person’s life gets out of control. Right now, I feel like my life is somewhat like this. I feel like I’ve done things that I’m not proud of and it has all transpired in such a short time.

This feeling is normal, and there is always going to be winter in every season of your life. I’m in the depth of winter as we speak, and it’s tough. Through all of the cold, what keeps me going is the belief that this won’t last forever. This is normal and even the people I look up to have dealt with this.

This winter patch is all about growth. The unhappiness I feel about my goals that still remain untouched is where the next phase of growth is. Our life is supposed to get out of control so that we can take control back again and for me, inspire people at the same time.

With everything that goes wrong, there is a lesson for the people I love (you guys). I wouldn’t have this library of lessons to share with you all if my life was like one of those cookie cutter Instagram models that get horny over their reflection.

So after my recent challenges, here are the 10 things you can do when your life get’s out of control:

 1. Make a major life changing decision

When your life is out of control, it’s the best possible time to take massive action. Action is what will give you control back and put you back in the driver’s seat. The chances are that there is a root cause as to why your life is not the way you want it.

Look at where you work, who you spend time with, and your romantic relationship. Somewhere in these three areas will be the clue you need to make your big decision. Ask yourself deep down what really makes you angry.

Think about who is getting in the way of your dream and stopping you from reaching your full potential. Does everyone around you encourage you to keep following your passion or do some people think what you’re doing is dumb?

Once you have identified the problem area you need to forget how things were, and the comfort that comes with that, and be prepared to drop bombs and do whatever it takes to change the course of your life. Fear is going to sweep in at 100 miles and hour, but you will have to squash it with all of your willpower.

Weak people can’t get back in control of their life, and weak people tend to fail a lot. You’re not weak, and you have guts and determination.

 2. Stay true to your habits

Even if your life get’s out of control, it’s imperative that you hold on to your positive habits. These habits might be: drinking a juice, doing a workout, practicing meditation or reading a book every week. No matter what, these habits are your foundation, and you cannot get lazy and drop them.

Through tough times it’s easy to lose the motivation to power on through your habits. The thing is, during tough times you need your habits like mediation even more.

Through my own rough patch, I have doubled the amount of meditation I do each day from ten minutes to twenty minutes. Now more than ever I need inner peace and a time to reflect on all the mind chatter that is playing out every minute of the day.

 3. Set some new goals

I’ve found that when your life is out of control, part of the reason why, is that you need some new goals. The current goals you have are not keeping you motivated, or they might even be too easy.

I’ve crushed most of my year’s goals already, and I’ve found that this achievement has made it more likely for me to become lazy. For this reason, I have created two brand new goals that have lots of fear and require me to go out and do things that I used to procrastinate doing.

New goals help you to try something new and give you a reason to focus back on controlling your life again.

 4. Accept a lapse in decision-making

I’ve had some lapses in decision-making in recent weeks, and I’ve let myself get worked up about it. What I have discovered though is that it’s important to realise that you will sometimes make a bad decision. Each week you make more than two hundred decisions and statistically speaking some of those will be bad choices.

Understand that bad choices are normal, and as long as you are making more positive decisions than negative, it will all balance out in the end. Now that’s off my chest I am going to forgive myself for that coffee I drank 

 5. Go and do a good deed

If your world is spiraling out of control, then try and do a good deed. Go and help people whose life is even crazier than your own and get some perspective. You’d be surprised how in control your life really is compared to say a homeless person who has no money to buy dinner.

Find somewhere in your community where you can go in undercover and coach some people. Coaching people is a great way to use the lessons you have learned to help someone achieve their dream. I’ve found coaching to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life.

What’s even more fun is when one of your students achieves the impossible and you get even more happiness out of the experience than they do. You were put on this earth to inspire people so go and do it and forget about your problems for five minutes!

 6. Figure out what’s good in your life

A feeling that your life is out of control can often be brought on by focusing too much on the negative points of your reality. There are some parts of your life that work really well that you’ve forgotten about.

Think of how you might pay your bills on time, have a well-kept automobile, have a tidy home, have access to smart people, work a good job, or have a business that pays for your lifestyle. There’s always something that you have right now that’s just right. Make a list of those things and then study them.

Tell social media all the good you have right in your life and watch your friends reach out and support you. There’s no way you can feel out of control when you reframe just how good some areas of your life are.

“Trying to strive for perfection is what will give you a feeling that your life is out of control” – Tim Denning

 7. Escape to the countryside

When life doesn’t go the way you want it to, sometimes the best thing you can do is escape your current circumstances for a week and get some perspective. I’m doing this by going overseas for a few weeks to focus on something other than problems.

Our minds are curious by nature, and when we go to a place we haven’t been before we become explorers of our reality rather than being trapped in it.

Smell the roses, walk on a foreign beach, and speak to people from another culture. You might just find a new found way to gain control back again in all the newness that you’ve brought into your life. 

“It’s impossible to be stuck in your head when you’re in a new environment that you haven’t visited before”

 8. Decide how you want to live your life

Feeling like your life is out of control will only help you to dig a deeper hole for yourself unless you decide to set a new vision. Clearly, if your life is out of control, it’s because you haven’t decided how you want it to be and set a vision.

For me, I’ve set the vision up, but I’ve forgotten to readjust the GPS co-ordinates once in while. Once you know how your life needs to be, you need to write down the action steps you’re going to take to get there. This is not a time for beating around the bush and struggling to make a decision.

This time, it’s about getting clarity and then being unwavering in your approach to getting the results of the vision you so desire. You have to get aggressive here and not settle for second best otherwise you will never get back in control of your life again.

“You’re 100% to blame for where you are right now and only you can change your reality” – Tim Denning

It’s no one else’s fault if you feel lonely or uninspired – it’s yours. There are people all over the world that would love to speak with you and talk about a whole range of topics.

There are people on social media that love what you do, and you can’t let them down by sulking. This game plan you have set out to achieve success and financial freedom is supposed to be hard. Otherwise, everyone would be driving a baby blue Lamborghini with the top down listening to Rihanna.

Reassess where you’re at and step up the game with a refresh of your vision. Don’t be lazy and put up with this BS reality you might be experiencing right now. Don’t take any prisoners along with you and stick to your standards that you’ve committed to.

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