Why Making Others Happy Can Make You Happy

When people feel happy, they experience positive feelings which they attribute as being something good.

But when people make someone other than themselves happy, it amplifies those positive feelings even bigger, more and further.

That's why people feel great about themselves and are inherently fulfilled when they know they have made a positive difference to someone's lives.

In fact, if you are ever feeling down yourself, one way to bring yourself up is to find ways to make others happy. This will give you an emotional boost you need.

When you strive to make others happy, they notice. They will have a boost in their mood which you will see that reaction in their face immediately. Sometimes, this random act of kindness may somehow return to you immediately or sometime in the future.

The great part about making others happy is it is relatively easy to do.

It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment. Or it can be volunteering to help out your colleague whose workload is overextended. Sometimes, simply expressing your appreciation to someone can uplift their spirits no matter how small the task that you are thanking them for is.

One really easy way to make people happy is to smile.

Smiling is a warm and friendly act that most people will respond to positively by smiling back. A smile is a form of welcoming and shows that you are opening yourself up to those people. It gives people an invitation to approach you.

Another way to make someone happy is to actively listen to them. You would be amazed at how effective this is.

Most people aren't good listeners because they tend to wait for the silent moment so that they themselves can talk and express their opinions. However, if you can stand out from the crowd and be a fantastic listener, they will fall in love with spending time with you as hanging out with you makes them feel happy.

If you want to go a step further in making others happy, try to learn more deeply about the people whom you want to make happy.

Be curious and interested in what they do. Then, if you see something related to their interests, either bring it to their attention or relate to them with your experience about that thing so that both of you are connecting in an emotional expressive level.

Of course, you should never use these skills to manipulate, trick or deceive people in order to make them happy. This type of malicious intention will be caught (especially by the intuitive sociable people) and hurt you and your reputation very quickly.

People will appreciate you much more and will respond positively to your efforts to make them happy instead of trying to get something out of it for yourself. And when you do it in a value-giving, non-needy, generous way, they will more likely to reciprocate and do awesome things for you to make you happy.

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5 Ways to Recover From Terrible Failure

Failure can cause one to lose confidence and motivation. Failure can sometimes wreck havoc on our emotions and make us feel depressed. What is worse is that after failing most of us do not always wish to try again because of the negative emotions that we feel. Failure makes us avoid trying again. This can happen on a conscious and unconscious level. It is thus important that you manage what you perceive as failure well in your life to ensure that failure doesn't affect you on an unconscious level and affect your future performance as you try and achieve your goals. Some of the emotions that we experience that affect our ability to take action to create the outcomes that we seek are due to past failures. These emotions may include fear, self-doubt and a lack of confidence.

I have developed a few ways that you can use in your life to recover from failure and heal yourself so that your past failures do not affect your future performance. Here they are:

1. Manage emotions using acceptance

What we perceive as failure can cause us to have a lot of emotional strain. We may experience emotions ranging from anger to sadness and resentment depending on what the situation is. After failing it is not always possible to keep these emotions from affecting us. To recover from failure and keep these emotions under control you need to use acceptance. You need to accept that things did not go well and that there might be consequences to be dealt with from whatever that has happened. Depending on the situation, consequences as the result of failure might vary -; you might be criticised, you might be held accountable, you might have lost money, you might lose your self-confidence, you might lose your job or business. Whatever it is and whatever the consequences are, drive yourself towards acceptance because this is the only way in which you will better find creative solutions to the challenges that you might be facing. It is tempting when we face challenges to dwell on the emotional pain, to think and go over what ifs but ultimately we have no choice but to make decisions and act if we are to change our circumstances.

2. View failure as an isolated incident not an inclusive incident

In our lives sometimes we have what I call "cross contamination". When one area of our lives isn't working as well we wish it could, the unhappiness and emotional strain that we experience from the area which isn't working well gets carried across other areas of our lives. We begin to feel like nothing else in our lives is working. Cross contamination causes us to carry emotional strain from work or business to our family lives and ultimately to our health and well being. The opposite can happen as emotional strain from our family lives can sometimes extend to our workplace and ultimately our well being depending on how we respond to the problems that we face.

You need to view the specific failure that you are recovering from as an isolated incident in order to stop this from straining other areas in your life. This is not easy to do as sometimes having a bad day at work can mean a bad evening with the family or vice versa. However, if you learn to better manage your emotions and isolate problems in various areas of your life, you might be in a better position to prevent emotional strain from one area of your life to cross contaminate all other areas of your life. This can only be done through improved self-awareness and emotional discipline.

Sometimes failing in a specific area can make you feel as if you failing at everything. You need to be aware that failure in a specific area in your life doesn't mean that you will fail on every other area. So see each failure as specific and not inclusive.

3. View failure as feedback from your specific actions

After following step 1 and 2 above you should begin to be in a better emotional state to think constructively about what went wrong and what has not worked well to cause the outcomes that you did not want. With this improved emotional state you should now use failure as a learning by analyzing what really went wrong and what actions you could have taken to improve your results. Most failures are due to a lack of planning, processes that did not work well, unforeseen circumstances, failure to be pro-active and so on. This is now time for you to diagnose what didn't work with clear emotions and an open mind. So assess what went wrong and identify things that need to be improved for you to create better results in the future.

4. Commit to new actions

After diagnosing your failure and receiving feedback from it you need to commit yourself to new actions in order to fully recover from your failure. Ask yourself what you will do and no longer do as a result of the feedback you received from your failure then commit yourself to new resolutions. You can list things you will do such as early planning, better communication, improve processes etc. Listing things that you will no longer do that might have caused you to fail is as important. So also list things that you will not do in the future such as procrastinating, avoiding administrative work, communicating poorly and so on.

What is important to note is that committing to new actions will also give you an emotional boost and hope. Often when we are in distress just thinking of the next practical step to take is enough to help us have hope for better future results.

5. Remember your past successes

Remembering things you did well in the past can help you gather strength to recover from immediate failure. Have things worked well in the past? Is there historical performance that you can look to and be proud of? if so, list these great achievements and performances and make them more prominent in your mind. Remember how you felt when things worked well and rekindle these feelings to gather strength to overcome present challenges. This will help you regain your self-confidence as you plan how to better deal with the future.

Imagine what your life would be like if you had self-confidence and did not hesitate to act and create all the outcomes that you want in life. Picture yourself believing in yourself and becoming exactly who you want to be. A successful man or woman who is happy doing things that he or she loves and has great relationships. No more would you have to suffer from second guessing yourself and taking the back seat, criticizing yourself or enduring the pain of those that criticize you and do not appreciate you...

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Finding Inner Peace

Finding inner peace is the path of letting go, even though, the path could be as hard or simple as a person makes the journey of self acceptance.

"He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe" ~ Marcus Aurelius

There are always many ups and downs in every one's life. Sometimes we get stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how we find a constant inner peace in our hearts and lives, when there is always something wrong in our lives or the lives of those we love.

What happens when we start to feel down or stressed?

First of all some kind of negative thought comes into our mind that gets us discouraged and anxious. The next thing that happens, is that we start believing in that thought. And feeding it with more arguments, which in turn gets us into a deeper state of confusion and sadness. Next thing we know, we find ourselves, there in that deep mud hole. We look around and all is doom and gloom.

What can we do so that this does not even happen?

1 - Accept what is: Life is unpredictable. Nothing is permanent, everything changes; and of course, a lot of things can happen that will transform who we are and have an impact on our life. The problem is that we need to be prepared to truly accept whatever comes and embrace it. This is what I have noticed with so many people, in that we focus and linger on things which we have no control over. Why worry about something that all the worrying in the world will not change? Why care about what other people think of us when we're not even sure what it is they are actually thinking? Yes, acceptance is a choice-a hard one most definitely, but a choice nonetheless. By practicing acceptance we learn to live in this changing world, where we never know what's going to happen next. Acceptance is like protecting ourselves with our own shields." You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

2 - Meditate: Meditation makes us mentally strong, and emotionally resilient. It reduces the tendency to react, increases the tendency to respond and is an effective way to de-stress our minds. If you are not meditating yet then, you are missing out on a very important activity that can change your life. When you have a lot on your mind and you feel like your thoughts are driving you crazy, meditation can help you find peace, calmness and more self acceptance. Meditation helps turning one's life into a more beautiful, harmonious and happy one. When mind, body and spirit are in harmony, then everything seems right with the world."Through concentration and meditation you become the boss of your mind, and gain the ability to tell it when to be active and when to stay silent" ~ Remez Sasson

3 - Spend time in nature: Nature calls you back to reality. We can't stop it from raining. We can't delay the setting sun. We can't set the temperature to a comfortable degree. When we are climbing a mountain, our muscles are going to burn. But with this surrender comes such relief! We awake from a dream and realize how little control we really have. We remember that hardship and lack of control are part of life, and accepting this reality makes it not only bearable, but possible to feel the joy of being alive. By being in nature we feel comfortable in our own skin, we experience our own quiet peace and strength, we sense the inner us that is the true us. The mask we present to the outer world is irrelevant for a time, and put in its proper place. Nature helps us to connect with this powerful, loving presence, whether we call it GOD, Earth Mother, the Great Mystery or any another name. Nature brings us closer to GOD, our own spirit and helps us to live lives of meaning and joy. "The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles." ~ Anne Frank

4 - Learn the power of a smile: A smile is a powerful key to living happy from the inside out. The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you're happy. And when you're happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins. Smiles are powerful and contagious. Don't hesitate to smile warmly at friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. Never stop smiling! God smiles on us each and every day. His love has no depth, his mercy no end. His arms are open wide, just step into them. "Smile and the world will smile with you."

5 - Choose to help others: Care for others genuinely around you. What you put out, you really get back in life. Being caring allows us to have empathy for others and to live a life based on affection, love, and compassion for the people around us. When we make a positive impact in someone else's life, we also make a positive impact in our own lives. Any act of kindness and goodwill eases our way towards inner peace. When we start helping others, we stop thinking about our so-called problems and then we realize that our life is not so bad after all. Do something that's greater than you - something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~ Charles Dickens

6 - Never lose hope: Never give up. Never lose hope. Always have faith, it allows you to cope better during the trying times. Having hope is a personal decision, a bold conviction-a choice, and with hope we always have a path towards peace. Having hope is an active, decisive mindset etched into every single moment. No matter the haze and fog that clouds our vision, hope's laser cuts through, and never losing sight of her shimmering stars. Hope is something we can never afford to lose Who we really are is based on values we choose to live by, such as believing in the possible, believing in the goodness of others, and believing in the power of love and hope. When we decide to passionately pursue our greatest purpose, then we become the hope in our lives and manifest her greatest dreams, because we refuse to consider any other possibility. As Henry James put it, "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

7 - Embrace your beliefs: I am not here to favour any belief system over another, but whatever it is that you are believing in, hold it closely in your arms, accept it willingly and enthusiastically, as by being within your faith, peace will find its way into your heart. We all might have different opinion in regards to our belief systems, but one thing that we all have to acknowledge is that without a healthy and solid belief system, we won't be able to find a fair conscience which could show us the way towards peace and wisdom. "Faith is universal. Our specific methods for understanding it are arbitrary. In the end we are all just searching for truth, that which is greater than ourselves." ~ Dan Brown

8 - Live in the present moment: When we live fully in the present moment, our awareness becomes completely centred on the here and now. We won't worry about the future or thinking about the past. How often have you been worrying about things that have yet to come, or how often have you been beating yourself for mistakes that you've made, no matter how much time has passed? Too much time, I believe. Not only living in present moment has a significant effect on our emotional health, but also it has a great impact on our physical wellbeing. By living in present moment we live in acceptance; we accept life the way it is, not the way we wish, it should have been. And when we live in acceptance, we realize that everything is complete as it is. We can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made, and we can have peace in our hearts knowing that everything that should happen will. "If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is."

Finding inner peace is not a simple or short path, but it is a process that we can all learn. It is a journey which needs to be appreciated every step of the way. We have to be willing to let go and step outside the box that we have accepted ourselves to be put into, in the first place and start from scratch. We have to be ready getting to know ourselves all over again and be willing to make mistakes. And most importantly, we have to realize that only we have control over our emotional responses and reactions and they can be changed for the better. And finally when serenity and unconditional love fill our hearts, we will accept that we cannot go back, and will not give up what we have now found, that peace that we seem to have been searching for our whole lives. "Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you." ~ Rumi

Inner peace resides within us at all times. It has been said the only thing that prevents the human mind from finding peace, is the human mind itself. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

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Overthinking Will Cause You to Think It Over

When was the last time you did something without actually spending a second to contemplate if it's the right thing to do? If you find it quite hard to make a decision even in the simplest things like deciding what to eat for breakfast, you may be a victim of what we call "overthinking".

A typical rational human being has a gift of reason which allows him to know the difference between good or bad. Sometimes, "reason" obliges us to think too much which causes us to be anxious in every decision we make. Finding hidden meaning in mere situations that does not require your investigative prowess worries your mind that you tend to become conscious in everything you do, constraining you from doing what you want. Overthinkers weigh each single option before they can make a move. They tend to ignore the bigger picture which causes them to panic under pressure even when they already know that they are good at it.

Growing up, we are filled with so much learning that we acquire so much knowledge which is good - to a certain extent.

When you are not in the mood, you have the tendency to be anxious and get depressed. This will eventually trigger your mind to outpour thoughts. Sometimes, these thoughts are not even connected to the main reason why you are having a bad mood. When you start thinking too much, your normal functions are affected.

Stop seeing what is beyond the surface if there is no need to. Before you dig deeper, you must have a clear view of what is in front of you. If you continue to give weight to those that are unnecessary, you will fail to see the truth of everything.

When you start thinking about something in an endless cycle, ask yourself: 

Will this still matter in the long run?

Asking yourself this simple question every time you overthink can snap you out immediately. You will then be able to focus your time on something that really matters. Learn to set a time-limit for every decision you make so that you can immediately act on it. Be better in making decisions by setting "deadlines" in your life in order to prevent you from procrastinating and encourage you to not take things for granted.

Most of us wish we could control everything that is happening. If this was only possible, we could've avoided making a mistake and things would've been perfect. But failures are a part of life and this is the only time where we can learn a lesson and become a better person. Everyone who is successful made mistakes before they reach their status quo.

Stop thinking over and over and over... it will just be an endless cycle and none of it matters! You can't control everything. Accept the fact there are just things that are beyond what you can handle.

There is no need to dwell on things that don't matter. Focus on what's important like making those people close to you smile. 

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Success - The Key To Achieving Big Success

The dictionary defines success as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Whatever your goal, you can achieve it. But success doesn't come in one huge action. Completing a series of small tasks add up. Day-to-day actions yield small results that lead to big success.

Stop making excuses. It's a simple instruction, but it's not always avoid the easy way out. Sometimes, making an excuse is easier than doing the deed. It's easier to tell yourself you're tired and need a break so you don't feel bad about sleeping in instead of heading to the gym. It's easier to tell yourself that you deserve a break instead of studying material for your class. It's easier to convince yourself that you need more time to prepare your product instead of cold contacting store owners about stocking it for sale. There is always an easy way out. Avoid excuses at all costs. Making excuses lead to no where.

Do the thing you don't want to do. Completing the difficult task is a form of personal development. Remember the first time you went for a run? Getting through that one mile was hard. But your doctor recommended increased activity to avoid blood pressure medication. So you run, even on days you don't want to and you successfully avoid taking a medication. Goal achieved by doing the thing you didn't want to do. The same with doing something you don't want to do when it comes to your business or education. No one wants to read chapters from a textbook but how else will you learn the material? Reading leads to learning. Learning leads to passing quizzes and exams. Passing tests leads to good grades. Good grades lead to graduation. Success. The same with business. There are things you don't want to do as a business owner, like firing employees or ending business relationships. What's the alternative? Continue to pay an employee who isn't performing up to standard? Continue to order from a supplier that no longer meets the needs of your business? Although it's hard, terminating an underperforming employee makes an opening for a potential super star who can help take the business to the next level. After doing the "hard" things for a while, it is less challenging to do it again.

No matter how big or small the goal, achieving it is simple. The only way to make it happen is to take small steps. Stop making excuses. Excuses lead to nothing. Just do it. The things that seem hard require growth to complete them. The only way to achieve success is to grow as a person.

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12 Tips For Conquering Anxiety

Anxiety is part of the human condition. Search for somebody that never ever feels anxiety. Some individuals are more resistant to stress and anxiety than others, but everyone can reinforce their capability to manage anxious sensations. Establishing a high level of anxiety is a learned ability. Reducing stress and anxiety is an ability, too.

The crucial factor to managing anxiety is to begin reducing it as soon as possible after it hits you. The more it develops, the more challenging it is to manage.

Deal with anxiety rapidly and easily:

1. Break your day into small pieces. Just worry about the percentage of time in front of you. If you're sitting in a conference at 9:00 AM, there's no need to fret about how you're going to pay the electric bill or exactly what you're going to have for dinner. Take the day a minute at time and keep your interest on that minute.

2. Create a mantra and utilize it. Have a positive and uplifting phrase you repeat to yourself. You'll eventually begin to think it and you'll obstruct any negative self-talk.

" I'm happy with the ability to manage any circumstance."

" My life is filled with joy and positive energy."

3. Workout. The quickest way to relieve anxiety is to work out enough to sweat. A casual walk is better than nothing, but to get the greatest benefit, it's necessary to get your heart beating hard.

4. Utilize distractions. Distractions never ever fix the underlying problem, but can supply relief. See a movie, play cards, or do a crossword. Hang out with a friend. Give yourself a break and put your focus in other places.

5. Keep going. Anxiety occurs since some part of your brain is attempting to stop you from doing something about it. It has learned that it can control you by making you feel miserable. You can reduce the anxiety you feel by plowing ahead. Your brain will learn that making you feel anxious does not work.

6. Give yourself 20 minutes to fret and worry each day. Schedule your worry time. You'll find yourself less inclined to fret throughout the other 23-plus hours of the day.

7. Change your environment. Leave your existing environment and provide yourself a change of scenery. Go to the park or invest some time at the coffee shop. Spend an hour window shopping. Shake things up a bit.

8. Hang out with your pet. If you have a pet, you know how reassuring they can be. Rest on the floor and have a heart-to-heart with your pet. How could you not feel better?

9. Write in a journal. Get your anxiety out of your head and down on paper. There's something cathartic about writing when you're stressed out. Make a habit of writing about your life each day.

10. Discover the best aroma. The right scent can be relaxing. Travel to the candle store and find something that makes you feel excellent when you smell it. Or check out some of the aromatherapy oils at your local health store.

11. Find a hobby that requires concentration. It could be chess, playing the piano, or knitting. It doesn't matter what the pastime is as long as you enjoy it and it requires your complete attention. It can be a fantastic way to invest your down time.

12. Envision. Envision something positive. Fantasize about Maui or keep in mind a favorable experience from the past. Imagine your perfect day.

Dealing with stress and anxiety is necessary. Effective individuals are successful due to their ability to handle stress and anxiety effectively. When you feel fear begin to build, deal with it instantly. A high level of anxiety is very difficult to manage. 

Develop a list of methods that can be carried out rapidly when stress and anxiety first appear.

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5 Techniques To Build More Confidence

5 Techniques to be More Confident

Being confident in life not only enhances your personality, but makes sure you don't lose opportunities because of hesitation. Enough confidence in you can be the difference between success and failure. When you are striking a new business deal, giving an interview or asking someone on a date, you need to be confident.

The key to being more confident is how other people perceive you on the basis of your own self-perception. Basically, this means if you consider yourself to be capable and energetic, it will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Thus, other people will also see you the same.

Although there are many factors beyond control, there are still certain things you can turn in your favor to make yourself more confident. In this post, we have talked about some simple tips, which can help you become more confident in life.

Visualization & Positive Affirmations

Contrary to the common notion, the concept of positive affirmations is neither complex nor complicated. Positive affirmations are simple sentences, which you can use to explain how you want to feel in life, what situations and circumstances you consider perfect, and other such expectations. You need to say positive affirmations out loud in a way that affirms what you're saying is true.

According to psychologists, positive affirmations help you build more confidence in life. With positive affirmations, you can change the way you feel about your personality, nature and characteristics. In addition to this, positive affirmations can change your basic perception about various circumstances surrounding yourself. It's worth mentioning that positive affirmations can lead you on a path toward success and achieving your goals. You can use positive affirmations like:

I'm Feeling Confident.

I Can Become More Confident.

I Will Live With More Determination.

I Will Be More Confident

When you start using positive affirmations on a regular basis, it isn't long before you start believing in them. They can boost your confidence, and help you become an outgoing person. You can also use visualizations to become more confident. As the name suggests, this practice requires you to visualize what you want to accomplish in life. In this case, you should visualize yourself confidently speaking in public or making a presentation in office.

Active Participation

At times, you may hide behind someone during an open discussion. It is important to actively participate in every discussion and event. In time, you will be able to overcome your hesitation. Your issues related to fear of public speaking or participation will not get resolved until you make efforts. Public speaking and active participation always contribute to gaining confidence.

Leave Your Comfort Zone

Almost every person prefers to live in his comfort zone. However, when you step outside the comfort zone, you're able to gain more exposure. When you stay within it, you start shrinking. You need to avoid getting trapped into the confines of your comfort zone, and constantly push yourself to do different things. This helps you become more confident.

Meditation

Meditation not only keeps you calm, but also helps you with composure. When you're calm and relaxed, you start making good decisions. This has a major impact on your confidence. Meditation also allows you to gain some insight about your personality, and mould yourself accordingly to overcome anxiety and shyness.

Practice Confidence

Just like everything else in your life, even confidence improves with regular practice. When you meet new people, it's a great opportunity to build confidence. When you shake someone's hand for the first time, you should introduce yourself, watch the other person's tone and learn more about his or her personality. Since a new person doesn't know anything about you, it's an opportunity to show the person your confident personality.

In addition to this, you should watch your tone and posture. Mumbling and hunching can make you look and feel less confident. Thus, you should speak clearly, slowly and stand straight. When people see your confidence, it gives you more reason to keep working on building confidence.

These were some effective tips to become more confident in life. Besides this, you also need to exercise regularly. It will help you get in good shape, keep your mind sharp and give you more energy. Confidence is the key to success in life. Thus, you need to make efforts to become more confident and focused.

With these simple techniques, you will be on your way to developing more self-confidence.

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How to Live a Happy Life: 10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb

Saying no is often the easier way out.

When you say no you can safely stay within your comfort zone. You don’t have to fear failing or being rejected. The scary unknown and sometimes difficult change can be avoided.

But if you say yes your life can expand and deepen. The yes allows you to open up your life to more happiness.

Today I would like to share 10 things that I have said yes to and that have helped me to become happier in my life.

Pick one of these that resonate the most with you and focus on making it a part of your life.

1. Being imperfect.

Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach. And so you’ll lower your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life. Even though they might be going very well indeed.

Perfectionism is mindset that eats at you and your happiness. Saying yes to being imperfect can turn that around.

How to do it:

• Realize the costs of buying into myths of perfection. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
  But in real life it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.
• Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else very slowly or never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

2. Being you.

Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others or censoring yourself don’t feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.

So how can you be yourself? Your environment plays a huge part.

How to do it:

• Supportive people. Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values and you. Or are at least neutral. And spend less time with people who always criticize you or you simply aren’t a good fit for.
• Supportive and life-expanding influences outside of your everyday life. Change your environment not only close to you. Go further and spend more time with sources of information that supports your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier and more exciting. Find support from people you have never met via books, movies, blogs, forums and music. And spend less time with negative and limiting influences.

3. The things that make you come alive.

It is important to find some time and energy for the things that you feel makes you come alive.

How to do it:

• Mix it up. Try something new, even if it is just something small each week. Eat the vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your normal cup of tea. Go out to a movie, café or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Or vice versa. Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways to live a happier life.
• Reconnect with what you used to love if it has fallen by the wayside. If you used to go fishing, paint or play the guitar and it really made you come alive then reconnect. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.

4. Optimism.

Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.

Saying yes a more optimistic way of thinking can on the other hand open your life up.

How to do it:

• Ask yourself optimistic questions. When you’re in what seems like a negative situation then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. Questions like: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? And what is the opportunity within this situation?
• Start your day off on the right foot. As mentioned in tip #2, the influences in your life can make a huge difference. So choose to spend your breakfast time with an optimistic influence like for example a book, a blog or your mom. Or talk to someone early in the day that most often supports and cheers you up like a co-worker or a friend in school.

5. Turning negative self-talk around.

It is very important to keep your motivation and your self-esteem up to live a happier life.

Your inner critic may be one of biggest obstacles standing in your way of that. If you make a mistake or fail, if someone criticizes you or if you are just getting tired then that small inner voice can become louder and louder and drag and keep you down.

It can tell you that you are stupid or lazy. That you will not succeed. That you are worse or uglier than someone else.

Being able to turn the inner critic around or to shut it up as soon as it pops up is a very helpful skill.

How to do it:

• Say stop. Simply create a stop word or stop-phrase that you say or shout in your mind whenever your critic pipes up with a distorted and self-esteem hurting thought. Say: Stop! Or: No, no, no, we are not going there again!
• Explain to yourself what this will lead to over the next year or more. As I mentioned in tip #1, reminding yourself of the cost of buying into myths of perfection is a powerful way to replace those thought habits. This works very well for other self-esteem hurting thought patterns too. Remind yourself of how the inner critic has shaped your life so far. And in your mind see the cost of letting it roam free for another year or five.

6. Saying no when you feel it is the right thing for you to do.

To have the time and energy to say yes to the most important things you have to say no to some things too.

How to do it:

• What do I truly want to focus my time and energy on? When you get an offer or an opportunity arises ask yourself this question. When you look over your schedule ask yourself this question. Think about and look at what your top priorities are and what you deep want before you say anything.
• Disarm and then state your need. It becomes easier for people to accept your no if you disarm them first. You could for example do that by honestly saying that you are flattered or that you appreciate the kind offer. Then you, for instance, add that you do not have the time for accepting and doing what they want. Or say that you do not feel that this offer is a good fit for your life right now.

7. Forgiveness.

Not clinging to the past and to the hurt that is there but to let it go and look to the now and the future is an essential thing to find more happiness in your life.

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time but there are some things that can make it a little easier.

How to do it:

• Remind yourself that you forgive for your own benefit. As long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did over and over again.
  The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and – as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people around you too. When you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free from all of that agony too.
• Make a habit of forgiving yourself. Do not just forgive others but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or 10 years ago – you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

8. Making someone else happy.

Making someone else happier has many benefits. The happiness spreads back to you as you see his or her face light up and as you know you did the right thing.

It spreads back to you as people have a strong tendency to want to give back when you have done something good for them. And it spreads out into the world as that now happier person may spread his or her happiness to other people.

How to do it:

• Help out practically. Lend someone a hand when they are moving. Or give them a ride in your car. Or if they need information, try to find a solution by asking the people you know or via Google.
• Just listen. Sometime a friend or someone close to you may just want to vent or for someone to listen as he or she figures things out. It may not seem like much but it can be an immense help for someone who needs it. So be there fully – don’t sit there thinking about something else – and listen.

9. Openness and growth.

Saying yes to being open to the good things in life and growing as a person plays a big role when it comes to happiness.

The other things in this article will help you with that. But here are two more tips that will make your journey a little easier and simpler.

How to do it:

• Change one thing at a time. Changing many things or your whole life at once sure sounds good. But willpower is something we often overestimate and everyday life tends to come in the way. So to make sure you have a much better chance of changing a habit or area of your life change just one thing at a time.
• Start small. Just say no to one small thing you don’t want to do this week. Or forgive one person for one thing. Or help and make someone happy in some small way. Take just one small step outside of your comfort zone.

10. To living your life fully despite setbacks.

When things have been standing still for while or you hit a bump in the road then it’s easy to back down. To shrink. To give in or give up.

But a better way to say yes to happiness in those situations is to say yes to living your life fully.

How to do it:

• Keep going. When you fail or make a mistake don’t give up. Reconnect with optimism by using the questions further up in this article. Find inspiration from books and blogs and the people around you. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead nudge yourself back on track again.
• Remember, it’s not too late to change your life. I didn’t really try to improve my life very much until I was 25. And many throughout the world and history have made positive changes far later in life than that. So if you want to make a change then start today. Work with what you have where you are right now. Start small and take the first step towards something new.

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Moving Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Many professionals have attained a high level of competence in their particular fields. They have learned a lot in their careers and they have a good sense of what works and what doesn't. Some individuals have become so good at what they do that they can successfully perform their jobs "with their eyes closed." These people are operating within their comfort zones.

While operating within your comfort zone is safe, it does not give you the opportunity to grow in your career. You may be good at what you do, but if you continue to do things in the same way, your job may have a tendency to be boring. It may no longer offer you a challenge. Only by trying new things can you get your creative juices flowing and experience the thrill of reaching new heights of achievement.

Trying new things does entail some risks. When you try something new you may experience a sense of discomfort. This comes from not being completely sure of what will lead to success. You will also very likely make mistakes along the way -- sometimes many mistakes. However, most of us don't like to make mistakes. We may be concerned about reactions from others. When we have achieved a level of competence in our jobs, we enjoy admiration from others. But as we make mistakes during the process of learning something new, we run the risk of looking foolish to others and feeling embarrassed.

The way to deal with this inevitable part of the learning process is to look at mistakes as feedback. They are letting you know when you need to use a different strategy to accomplish something. They are learning guideposts, which let you know what you should continue doing and what you should change. Extraordinarily successful people in every field have made lots of mistakes -- that's how they became extraordinary. And if someone is "kind enough" to bring to your attention that you've made a mistake say, "I know. Isn't it great? Now I don't have to do it again." It will totally change that individual's reaction to the situation.

Trying new things does offer wonderful payoffs. When you try something new and you persist at it, you usually become very good at it. In addition to having acquired a new skill, you can then experience the exhilaration of having faced a challenge and succeeding.

So make a commitment to move beyond your comfort zone. Only by doing so can you move closer to becoming the best you can possibly be.

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