If You're Afraid of Failure, You Need to Read This

Why are we so afraid of failure? I mean, I know I've held myself back on account of fear more times than I'd like to admit. But what am I so afraid of? What is the worst thing that can happen if I step out and try something? Take a risk? Begin an adventure?

I don't really like fear. The very first poem I wrote was when I was 13. I wrote it, submitted to the local newspaper in hopes of getting it published, and lo and behold, it was. The poem was titled "What is Fear?" I cannot remember the words, but I generally feared a lot of things back then- even failure.

Fear stifles. It cripples and paralyzes.

But the truth is that "failure" is a noun and it's subjective. When I realized this, I began to see things differently. Why can Mike, the average guy down the street, jump the hurdles of so-called "failure", continuing on with great faith and joy in his endeavors? While Jim, the Harvard grad, sit and cry his eyes out when his business only lasts one year, resolving never to try that again?

Did both fail? Well, yes, if we're defining failure in terms of "things not going as planned". But how can one guy be cool with it, dust himself off, and get back up and try again and the other guy can't?

They view failure differently. We want to look at things when they don't go as planned as "learning opportunities".

Listen, if you get this, it will change your life.

Do you know that the writer, Agatha Christie, received 500 rejections in her life trying to get books published? She could have sunk her head in shame, feeling like a failure, but she didn't. She determined to NOT let a rejection (or hurdles in general) keep her down. She learned from her setbacks and kept her hand to the plow. You know what? She sold a freakin' lot of books!

We see the successful people. Or the happy people. Or the peaceful people. We want what they have, but are we willing to keep the momentum moving forward even when trials come? Even when failures come? Even when all your buddies are laughing at you, mocking you for pursuing your passion?

You're not a failure. There's no right or wrong in the grand scheme of things. Whether it takes you one year to hit your mark or five years, it's alright! Just keep on getting up and doing what you know to do in order to get what you want. If you don't know what to do, ask for some help! There's someone who has done what you want to do. There's probably a lot of people! Get on the phone and reach out. Send an email- whatever you have to do to get the low down.

We're in this together. Life, I mean.

What do you want? Have you given up on account of a perceived failure?

Commit with me to take the word "failure" out of our vocabulary!

Let's create a good life, enjoying the journey all along the way.

 Source: 

Change the Way You Speak to Yourself and Increase Your Chances of Success

A lot of people I speak to really want to break away from the normal 9 to 5 and to be fair most of them take the first tentative steps towards making this life changing move, they may have thought of a great way to make money or brought a book on how to start your own business or attend a seminar by someone who has done just what they would like to do, they may have even paid for a course that takes them step by step through the process of setting up a great money making system.

I know when I decided that I wanted to break away from the rat race I did all of the above and much more, spending thousands of pounds in the process BUT like most people, I never really got beyond those first few steps, in fact it was over TEN YEARS before I actually did grab the bull by the horns and put something into action. The amazing thing was after all that time it was one of the first ways to make money I learned of that I acted on and I have never looked back since.

So why do we do this? Why don't we take action if we want something as bad as we say we do? Why do we sit and procrastinate instead of doing something about it?

Well we usually come up with a number of excuses:

I'm not intelligent enough.

I didn't have a good education/get good grades/go to college. etc.

I haven't got the time.

I can't afford to do it.

I am too old/young.

I've never done anything like this before.

Or we put things off...

I will start Friday/next weekend/next month/when I have that week off work. etc.

I also know from experience one of the main reasons is fear!

Fear of failure!

Fear of change!

Fear of the unknown!

Fear of what other people will think of us!

The list goes on but generally comes back to that one irrational emotion;

False Evidence Appearing Real

The good news is we CAN do something about it, The bad news is its going to take a little bit of effort to address the problem. But don't worry its nothing complicated and its something that everyone can do.

What we have to do is change our mindset and to do this the first thing we need to do is change the way we speak to ourselves and this is what I'm going to be concentrating on today.

From very early on in life we talk to ourselves and what we say and how we say it has a big influence on how we react to the situations we find ourselves in as an adult. Over time we ( or the people around us/society in general ) brainwash ourselves with all kinds of limiting thoughts and notions of what we should do and what should make us happy.

So after a while all this self talk and outside influence helps to program our subconscious mind into accepting that we should be happy with what we do and what we have. After all you have a job/food on the table/ a roof over your head/ a car etc. so you should be satisfied with your lot right?

But is this really YOUR definition of happiness? Are you really satisfied with your lot?

I'm guessing that as you are reading this the answer is a resounding NO!

Well then it's time to admit to yourself that you are unhappy with where you are at this moment and that you are no longer going to accept life as it is. It's time to make your life what it can be and more to the point what it should be.

According to psychologists how we view life and more importantly how we view ourselves is largely set in stone by the time we are six years old. Just think about that for a while, everything we do in life, every decision we make, how we talk to ourselves and what we expect to achieve for ourselves is largely influenced by what kind of life we lived and what kind of experiences we had in those first few years!

Kind of scary eh?

So what does this mean?

In short it means that most of us talk to ourselves in a negative and unhelpful manner and this in turn restricts what we do or achieve with our lives.

Throughout the day we are talking to ourselves constantly either out loud or in our heads. Some of this self-talk is good - your dreams, your wants, your desires, your family, your friends, the little things that make you smile to yourself.

BUT some of it is negative and this stems from those experiences we were talking of earlier, those limiting influences that have got you nowhere. This kind of self-talk is what holds you back, it restricts you, brings you down and stops you from doing the things in life that you dream about.

This kind of self-talk is destructive and needs to be avoided at ALL costs. You must be aware of everything you are saying to yourself, whether it be out loud or in your head and when you find you are speaking to yourself in a negative way STOP!

Listen out for the positive things you say and concentrate on these instead, this is the kind of self-talk you have to nurture and as you do the negative self-talk will die back.

Once you allow the positive self-talk to flourish you will find great things start to happen with you as a person, to the way other people see and treat you and with your life in general.

Source: 

3 Tips for Going Off Autopilot & Taking Back Control of Your Life

Today I want to share some ideas for going off of autopilot and instead living your life on purpose. There are definitely times when doing things automatically is beneficial, but if you live in this 'auto-space' all the time, you allow life to happen to you rather than living your life the way you want.

Here are three ideas that you can use to live your life on purpose and by doing so, raise your vibrational energy, attract more positive things to you, get more done and feel much more vibrant, powerful and fulfilled.

Tip #1: Move out of the shadow and into the light. What makes you tick, what are you passionate about, where are you holding back? Tune in to who you really are and let her shine!

This is a huge topic that many books have been written on so let's just focus in on one little point... what are you doing to hold yourself back?

Most of us have been trained to hide a little bit (or a lot) of who we are. Maybe you've been told you laugh too loud or you're too quick to trust other people. Maybe it's been suggested you daydream too much and need to spend more time focusing on getting things done. Labels like; you're lazy, scattered, impulsive, lack self-control... all influence who you are and what you believe about yourself (even positive labels can hold you back!).

You also could be in a job you don't really like, but are there because someone else felt that's the career you should have. It's possible you feel afraid to course correct at this point in your life because you took schooling to get where you are or you've worked so hard to climb the ladder and to change now would seem like such a waste. Or maybe you're afraid if you stop you'll be seen as a quitter or people will think you're not smart enough, strong enough or committed enough to see things through.

Becoming aware of the areas of your life that are within your control and then using this awareness to help you make positive changes in your life is called conscious living. Noticing where you feel stagnant, uninspired or held back and then thinking about what you might do to make things just a little better can be a really great starting place for living this kind of life.

Doing things to please other people, pushing aside your real dreams and desires because you think (or have been told) they are too fanciful, is stopping you from reaching your full potential.

So when you consciously detect something is amiss, don't disregard it or push it aside because it's inconvenient. Instead, notice it, journal about it, explore it fully and see what comes to light.

Commit to finding and revealing the real you - I guarantee you she is wonderful and worth exploring.

Tip #2: Open yourself up to receive - gifts, compliments, love, healing, a helping hand...

This sounds like such a simple thing to do, yet it is not. Most of us have been taught that to need something from someone else makes you weak, immodest or sets you up to owe them and we do not like to be indebted to others. This stops us from being a true team member and collaborating effectively with others, plus it robs us of the pleasure receiving can bring.

If you struggle with receiving you can end up blocking everything you've ever desired from coming your way. Receiving and the pleasure it brings are two key pieces to filling up your tank so it's very important you learn how open up to it.

A simple way to increase your awareness around how well you receive things is to tune in to what you do or say when someone tries to give you something - like a compliment or praise. Really notice your response (even if it's just in your head!).

For example, if you just ran a meeting and I came up to you after to say "I just want to say you did a really awesome job chairing that meeting." How might you respond?

Most people will have patterns or habits that deflect, correct, deny, reciprocate, minimize, reject or question the compliment without even realizing they are doing it.

If you're honest with yourself, you'll likely find receiving a compliment can be quite a challenge. If so, here's what you might want to practice instead.

Feel the compliment, take it in, smile and respond with something like,

"Thank you, it feels great to hear you say that."

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"It did go well, didn't it? Thanks for confirming that for me."

Tip #3: Practice forgiving - every situation you encounter in life is meant to help you evolve as a soul. This can be a hard pill to swallow if you've been abused, abandoned, traumatized, tortured or experienced other things in life that feel very personal and hurtful. So I say this with much compassion and love... forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Forgiveness allows you to take back the energy you are investing in being mad, hurt, ashamed, disgusted or revengeful and to instead surround yourself with the positive energy of compassion and understanding. You see, as long as you refuse to forgive someone - even yourself, you make it impossible for that relationship to evolve.

Refusing to forgive someone else gives them space, rent free, in your head. Refusing to forgive yourself stops you from healing and ever truly loving yourself.

When you feel like you've been wronged or done something wrong... you carry that energy with you in your heart. As a result, you push yourself harder, are less trustful of your own guidance, you create impossible and inflexible standards for yourself AND you lower your vibrational energy.

When you are able to forgive and learn to appreciate how that situation helped you become who you are today, everything changes.

The ability to forgive will help you plug a drain that is stopping you from fully owning your power. I know it feels like you are flexing your power muscles by refusing to forgive, but - as counter-intuitive as it seems - the exact opposite is actually true.

By tuning into where you are disconnected from yourself and holding yourself back, you open the door to all kinds of beautiful discoveries. By opening yourself up to receive those good things, you increase your vibrancy, recharge your battery and become more abundant. By remembering to forgive both yourself and others when things don't go as you might have liked, you are benefitting from the lessons and plugging a drain that could otherwise put you back in your shadow.

The more you practice these three things the easier they will become and before you know it you're living your life in a vibrant and powerful way.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source 

Possible Or Impossible - You Decide

And Mr. Webster says...

Possible - feasible, practicable, practical, viable, within the bounds/realms of possibility, attainable, achievable, workable, doable

Impossible - not possible, out of the question, unfeasible, impractical, impracticable, nonviable, unworkable, unthinkable, unimaginable, inconceivable, absurd, unattainable, unachievable, unobtainable, unwinnable, hopeless, impractical, implausible, far-fetched, outrageous, preposterous, ridiculous, absurd, impracticable, unworkable, futile.

Notice there are twice as many words that are synonymous for impossible as possible - does this mean anything? Well - read on and you will discover why so many people focus on what is impossible rather than possible.

We all face barriers when we try something new or take a risk but the real question is do we really believe what we are doing or attempting is possible or doable or are we just trying and hoping?

I believe that very few people (given the population of the US) actually believe that what they are trying is possible and I don't care if it's the Wright Brothers, Bill Gates, John F. Kennedy or anyone who has little experience, few contacts, a poor background or just a victim mentality. Imagine what would not exist today if so many people hadn't just kept trying and believing no matter the odds, number of failures or mistakes and the constant ridicule or invalidation from others.

We have what we have today because people didn't quit and never believed what they were aiming for was impossible.

How about you - a new business, a new career, a new relationship, new skills, new anything - wishing and hoping, staying stuck in the past or going for it with gusto? 

Thinking about writing a book or taking up a new hobby of painting or sculpture?

Waiting for just the right moment?

As a mentor to over 50 aspiring authors I can tell you every one of them keeps telling me - "I have a book in me." And I keep asking them is this book in you any good? And if it is will it help others? And if it will, how many people is it helping while it's still inside of you? What are you waiting for? It won't get done on its own.

Want a new career or position - and you don't have the experience or skills - go out and get them. Stop dreaming and hoping and start moving in the right direction.

Again, how about you - waiting for the right time, the right connection, the right inspiration, the right something? Stop waiting and erase the word impossible from your vocabulary and then get to work and watch the miracles unfold.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

Dream Big: Live Your Life Without Limits

The basic rule for success is for you to continue to remind yourself that you are where you are, and what you are because of yourself. You are in your current situation because you have decided to be there. You have made the individual choices and decisions that have gotten you to your current place in life. If you want to go somewhere else or be someone else, it is totally up to you to make the choices and decisions today that will eventually get you there. And there are no limits.
Positive Thinking Will Change Your Life

Here is another rule: “If you want your life to get better, you have to get better.” This simply means that your outer world will be a reflection of your inner world. If you want your outer world to improve, you must go to work on improving your inner world.



If you want to have better customers and more sales, you must become a better and more personable salesperson. If you want to have better employees, you must become a better manager. If you want to have better children, you must become a better parent. And if you want to have better relationships, you must become a better person. The great tragedy is that the world is full of people who are trying to change the outside world without going to work on the one thing that they can control, their own thinking!
Change Your Thinking

Here is another rule: “If you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life.” And since you can change the quality of your thinking almost infinitely, there are no limits on how you can change and improve every part of your life, in any direction you want to go.

There is a lot of talk today about “positive thinking,” and I think that positive thinking is very important. It is much better for you to think positively about yourself and your possibilities than for you to think negatively. But the danger is that positive thinking can quickly turn into positive wishing and hoping. Positive wishing and hoping can turn a person into a very optimistic and happy failure. Abraham Mallow said that the story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short, and settling for far less than that for which they are capable. Don’t let this happen to you.
The Power Of Positive Knowing

What is better than positive thinking is “positive knowing.” This is where you take the steps and do the things that bring you to the point where you absolutely know, with complete certainty, that you can achieve your goals and be the kind of success that it is possible for you to be. When you reach the point of positive knowing, no matter what happens in the outside world, even if you lose everything you have acquired, you will make it all back again, and more, because you know how to do it in the first place.

I want to share some ideas with you that have been very helpful to me and to many thousands of other highly successful men and women. These are all ways of thinking and looking at your world that will enable you to become a far more optimistic, confident, and creative individual in everything you do. These are simple, powerful, proven techniques that you can use to throw off your self-imposed limits and begin moving toward the realization of your full potential.
Dream Big, You Have No Limits

The starting point of great success and achievement has always been the same. It is for you to, “dream big dreams.” There is nothing more important, and nothing that works faster than for you to cast off your own limitations and begin dreaming and fantasizing about the wonderful things that you can become and have and do.

A wise man once said, ” You must dream big dreams for only big dreams have the power to move the minds of men.” When you begin to dream big dreams, your level of self-esteem and self-confidence will increase immediately. Your self-image improves. You feel more positivel about yourself and your ability to deal with whatever happens to you. The reason so many people accomplish so little is because they never allow themselves to let go and just imagine the kind of life that is possible for them.

Thank you for reading this article about positive thinking and how to dream big and create success in your life. Please share and comment below!

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

How Confident Are You in Yourself?

This is the million dollar question people ask themselves on a daily basis. The truth is, you can start to improve your life much more quickly than you might think.

So many people get caught up in the idea that they don't have any self confidence that it becomes almost impossible for them to realize that they can attain it. All it really takes is a little time and patience, not to mention a lot of effort. It is definitely worth it and it has the power to completely transform your life if you will just let it.

You may not know it, but confidence actually means "with faith." You can have faith in a Higher Power, faith in yourself or just simple faith that everything is going to be okay. If you really want to have more self confidence, it is important that you start having faith in yourself and your abilities. You can think of this as exercising the most important muscle in your body. Instead of running a marathon or playing sports, you can use this particular muscle to start feeling better about yourself.

How do you actually accomplish this and put this advice into action? The first thing you can do is think positive. If you have to, force yourself to list positive things about yourself, about your day and about those around you. Listen to positive music in order to create more balance in your life. Most importantly, do not beat yourself up every time you make a mistake or you fall short of a goal. Everyone has room to grow and improve and you can take every failed opportunity as a teaching moment in order to learn something for the future.

You can also focus on the things that you're good at. In short, figure out what you are passionate about and then pursue it with everything you have. If you are interested in and passionate about several things, pursue all of these things in order to find out which one interests you the most. Perhaps you'll actually have more than one path in your life as you accomplish many things. No one ever said you had to decide on only one thing.

You can also develop more self confidence if you find someone to confide in. Like everyone else, you will have days where you are so frustrated that you don't know what to do with yourself and you are tired of trying to figure it out. Fortunately, that won't happen to you every day but when it does, it sure is comforting to have a trusted friend that you can talk to. If you don't feel like you have the one you can talk to, find a support group online. The bottom line is to realize that no one is perfect and that you need to have a support system that makes you feel comfortable.

Once you have started developing more self confidence and you see your life improving, one of the best things that you can do is mentor others. There are plenty of people who are in the same boat as you once were and they need help, too.

Remember, you are in control of your life- no one else is. That puts you in the driver's seat and it also gives you the unique opportunity to look back on how you felt when you had your worst days and help someone else get through theirs.

We'd love to meet you. Why not join our FREE private Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source 

7 Power Tips to Jumpstart Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is the ideas, values, and beliefs that you hold about yourself and how you feel that you are viewed and perceived by the world. Your self-esteem feeds your self-concept, which in turn fuels your mental health and overall sense of well-being.

According to Nathaniel Branden: "If you feel inadequate to face challenges, feel unworthy of love and respect, un-entitled to happiness, fear assertive thoughts wants and needs; if you lack basic self-trust, self-respect and self-confidence, your self-esteem deficiency will limit you no matter what other assets you possess."

People with healthy self-esteem strive to reach their full potential; they see themselves as being competent, confident and capable of achieving their goals and desires.

If your self-esteem is in need of a boost, look no further - here are 7 powerful tips that will jump-start your self-esteem.

1. Control the Inner Critic: Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about you. Let go of your shortcomings, start thinking about the positive qualities that you possess. Counter your negative thinking by saying something positive about yourself. Each day, write down three things about yourself that you are proud of.

2. Reframe Your View of Mistakes: Give yourself a break and accept that you will make mistakes. View your mistakes as learning opportunities that make people interesting. Mistakes provide you with important information - you now know what doesn't work. Think of Thomas Edison and the invention of the light bulb; how many mistakes did he make before finally succeeding?

3. Know and Operate from Your Own Personal Values: Realize once and for all that your self-worth and self-esteem is defined by you and only you. You cannot rely on someone else for your happiness. Another person's view of you is immaterial. Happiness and self-esteem comes from inside of you!

4. Get out of Your Own Head: Know when you are looping and circulating thoughts in your own head. Find and list ways that you can use to shift and change your physiology quickly. Exercise, connect with nature, listen to music, etc. Stop thinking about you. This may sound strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly get you out of yourself and help you to feel better.

Clear out the junk: This means anything hurtful and unconstructive that you've been told by someone you care for, cared about, (or even someone you didn't) is to be taken with a grain of salt. It is one thing to be given constructive feedback in life, but quite another when people are downright mean and unkind. Remember it's the offending party's issue, NOT yours. Take what applies when receiving feedback and leave the rest

5. Set goals: List at least three things that you would love to have the courage to do. Then formulate a plan to actually do them. Set yourself up for success by breaking big goals into daily action steps and take time to acknowledge and celebrate the small successes. This will feed your need for recognition and provides the extra push to keep you moving forward. Rewards could be as simple as giving your self permission to enjoy hat delectable piece of cheesecake you saw in the bakery or as huge as giving yourself a dream vacation. Either way, it is important for you to celebrate your successes.

6. Develop Your Silly Bone: Become a Master of Silliness a Guru of Play. Bring more laughter and fun into your life. Make a list of what you love to do, starting from childhood until now, and try to find time to do it at least once a week, even if it's just for a few minutes.

Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing the things you love. Relax and have a good time - and avoid putting your life on hold.

7. The single most important power technique that you can take to improve the quality of your life is that of gratitude. Being grateful and counting your blessings for the simplest things can be the most empowering thing that you can do for your mental health. You begin to notice your strengths, you begin to see what you have, you begin to appreciate the simple things in life, including being grateful for the things people actually take for granted, such as food and shelter, access to a computer, etc.

Self-esteem is very much a state of mind. Just as you can train your mind to be happy, you can teach and train yourself to have higher self-esteem. People with healthy self-esteem have a strong sense of self-efficiency; that is, they feel that they are in control and have power over their lives. It is only through the development of healthy self-esteem that you can fully reach your maximum potential.

We'd love to meet you. Why not join our FREE private Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source

10 Power Questions To Get You Motivated

There are times in life when we need to motivate ourselves. We often have big ambitions we want to achieve. Sometimes, however, the motivation and clarity we need evade us, and the limited time frames we have mean we need to get busy when we simply lack the zest to do so.

The following are a set of simple questions we can ask ourselves to begin to create the direction, the clarity and above all the motivation for ourselves to act:

1. What is the highest vision for my career, my life and myself?

This is really a reminder question for us. A key element of a balanced life is to have a clear vision of who you want to be and where you want to take your career and your life. This question is an opportunity for you to create that vision (preferably on paper), or if you already have it, to remind yourself of it.

2. What's the bigger picture here?

This question follows on from the first. When you have your vision, your subconscious mind will start to think creatively about how you can begin to make that vision happen. What's the bigger picture here, allows you to keep your thinking at a higher level, rather than bringing it down to the detail of life too quickly.

3. What are the key activities I need to be engaged in to get me to where I want to be?

This is a great all-encompassing question that takes you down a level in terms of your thinking. The focus of this question is the key activities. These are the 20% activities that will give you 80% of your results (according to the Pareto Principle). Again, this keeps your thinking at a level that allows you to focus on just those things that will get you to your outcome in the best way possible. You are not down at the micro or detail level yet. A good way to approach this is to come up with a list of just 2-4 key activities. These will become your projects from which your key tasks will flow.

4. How can I leverage my time, energy and money?

Leverage means investing a small amount of your resources in such a way that you get results that are many, many times greater than that investment. It could be, for example, that you invest a given amount of your time, energy and money to acquire the time, energy and money of many others. This is a form of leverage that is used to very powerful effect, for example, in the business world, and is how many businesses grow from sole-entrepreneurship to global status. Therefore asking yourself this key question constantly, permits you to engage fully in those activities that will give you the greatest return on your time, energy and money.

5. Do I need outside help?

This question flows on logically from the previous. It opens up your thinking, and allows you to consider the fact that others may be able to help you in your quest. This question prevents you from getting caught up in believing that you have to do everything yourself. Often when we are in this mode we can easily become overwhelmed, and this can sabotage our results. It is therefore useful to be asking yourself this question constantly so that external resources regularly show up for you.

6. What is stopping me from moving forward?

Sometimes we don't consider this question, and simply try to achieve our aspirations in life. By considering what may be stopping you, you are giving yourself the chance to acknowledge what is going on for you at a deeper level. This can reveal blockages that go way back, that may even have begun in childhood and could still be affecting you today. By using key techniques such as Energy Therapy to clear psychological and emotional barriers, you can begin to move forward and work more effectively towards your outcomes.

7. Given who I am, where I am in life, who I want to be and where I want to be in life, how can I use the time I have to the greatest effect?

This question may be detailed, but it acknowledges that you may have a limited amount of time in which to act, and therefore recognises that you need to use that time wisely. It also acknowledges who you are and where you are in your life right now whilst recognising that you have aspirations to improve. This is a powerful question that encourages you to look beyond those activities that may seem urgent but may not at this moment in time be in the best interests of your overall vision.

8. What can I do?

The is another all-encompassing question that begins to bring your thinking down to the task level whilst allowing your subconscious to consider all the options open to you. It also focuses your mind on what you can do rather than what you feel you can't.

9. How can I get started?

Getting started is one of the most difficult parts of any project or vision accomplishment. Asking yourself how you can get started brings your focus back to the current moment, and allows you to decide what your first step is going to be. This point alone can open up numerous doors in your mind, and can begin to make what may have seemed overwhelming or impossible, possible.

10. How can I work smarter?

Once we've started on our journey towards our vision, we can often get caught up in the detail of the work, and risk losing both our focus and direction. The upshot is that we can become derailed and distracted, and the effectiveness of our work can suffer. Asking yourself at every stage of your journey How can I work smarter will help you to find better, more useful and more intelligent ways of achieving your aims.

Source

How To Ride The Wave Of A Positive Thought

What were you thinking a moment ago?

Was it positive, uplifting or dis-empowering?

Notice your feelings generated by the thoughts.

Are they pleasant, neutral or disagreeable?

If you're able to move your attention to your emotions, congratulations, you know how to ride the wave of a positive thought.

What do I mean by that?

If you observe a surfer on a wave, you'll notice it will turn into a large swell at one point. With enough momentum it surges into a larger wave, carrying the surfer to the shoreline.

Thoughts come and go from the landscape of your mind like ocean waves. New thoughts enter your stream of consciousness every one second. This means thoughts don't last, unless you direct your attention towards specific ones.

We live in the feelings of our thoughts, not the outside circumstances that influence them. External conditions do not impose upon your thinking, however it can produce an emotional response if the stimuli is strong enough.

"Truth is: Getting stopped by a thought, negative or positive, lays the groundwork for any disconcerting experience. It's never what we think, but that we think that gets us into hot water," affirms sports psychologist Garret Kramer in, The Path of No Resistance: Why Overcoming is Simpler than You Think.

Some days a thought produces a negative emotion while other days it's insignificant.

Why?

What has changed apart from the day?

We react to our surroundings on those occasions for unknown reasons, i.e. tired, moody, hungry, etc. At that time we're ruled by our thinking more so.

Your mind doesn't differentiate between a positive or negative thought. It doesn't register them in this manner - but you do, as the observer. When we label thoughts, we assign them importance over others, so they occupy space in our minds.

I want to be clear: You are not your thoughts.

You are not your thoughts, because they appear and dissolve from your mind and none are permanent. They may be repeated often, but they are never permanent. To imply you are what you think is misleading, to the degree you might experience a positive thought one moment and a negative one the next. If you are defined by that distinction, who are you according to this narrative?

If we live in the feelings of our thoughts and experience an anxious thought, it doesn't imply you're an anxious person. It means you experienced a thought which produced anxiety in your body. You may have an illuminating thought the next moment which cancels the earlier one. There are exceptions of course, governed by a clinical diagnosis by a trained mental health professional.

So the question arises, who are you then?

Garret Kramer affirms once more, "All you really need to do is leave your thoughts alone. Why? Because when left alone, as we've seen, all thoughts are impotent. You're free to excel no matter when or where a negative, or even a positive, thought invades your brain."

The key to overcome unwelcomed thoughts is not to eject them from your mind, but to be mindful of them. Approximately 50,000 - 70,000 thoughts pass through your mind every day. Thoughts flood into your consciousness on a moment-to-moment basis, like a TV show streamed online.

If thoughts flow into our consciousness, how can we reduce the impact of the negative ones?

By being mindful of disempowering thoughts, you bring them to the forefront of your mind and become conscious, rather than unconscious of them.

Unconscious thoughts are part of the landscape of our minds. Similar to streaming a TV show on a computer, you can be distracted by a pop-up window selling you a product or service. Your intention is to view the show, yet the distraction pulls you away from it. Unconscious thoughts have the same effect. They emerge from nowhere and can lead us to dark places if we're unaware.

"The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of

unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of

judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind," states author Eckhart Tolle.

The key is to recognise our unconscious thoughts without invoking negative feelings or adding a narrative. We do so by witnessing them through the eyes of equanimity, instead of reacting with negative emotions or actions.

To ride the wave of positive thought, first note the feelings produced in your body. Note your emotional response without becoming invested in them.

Eckhart Tolle states, "Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body's reaction to your mind - or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body."

Empowering thoughts have an enriching quality, demonstrating they are in harmony and balance. Thoughts that produce an uncomfortable sensation, is your body's way of showing you they are out of alignment.

In this setting, the body is a feedback instrument informing you of your thinking.

You needn't be attentive to every thought. Yet, if you're aware how those thoughts generate positive or negative emotions, it's possible to choose more balanced thoughts.

When an inspiring thought emerges, move into your body and notice your emotional response.

Is it in your chest, stomach or elsewhere?

How does it feel?

Is it a tingling sensation that radiates or does it move to other regions?

Meditation is useful when sitting with your thoughts in a quiet setting. Even as little as five minutes in silence helps you become acquainted with your thoughts, instead of passing through your mind without conscious awareness.

To ride the wave of a positive thought, note the feelings they produce while shifting your awareness to them.

As you witness your thoughts, your awareness observes them thus diminishing their intensity.

In time, you create longer streams of positive thoughts, having become familiar with their ebb and flow.

Source:

Stop Trying To Avoid Failure

We hear the word and cringe at the thought of it. From the time we were kids, we've been exposed to the many aspects and importance of winning. And as we mature, our ambitions continue to grow from our visions of success and accomplishment.

Envisioning a victorious outcome will often provide the strength to move forward, even when it seems as though you're pushing a boulder uphill.

But what of failure? What happens to your outlook when you think, even for a moment, that you might not succeed? You probably feel just about the same as everyone else would; defeated, sad, worried, or even stressed perhaps. And when these feelings begin to swirl around on the inside, the ripple effects begin to take hold of your performance, and create something often referred to as "paralysis by analysis".

It's as if the act of failure, has become synonymous with being a failure. And this couldn't be further from the truth.

The next time you feel the nerves beginning to kick in, all from the thoughts that you might not succeed; (whether they be of the project you're about to undertake, the company you're about to start, or even the wedding vows your about to make), take a moment to reflect on this:

When a baby starts learning to walk, what happens? Do they just stand straight up and start strolling around the living room, like they've been doing it for years? Of course not. They take a step or two, then fall down. They get back up, take a step or two, then fall down. Each time they fall down, that particular moment was a failed attempt at walking. But does this make that baby a failure? Of course not!

With each fall, the baby's muscle memory gets better and better. And as they continue to try, over and over again, they learn how to stabilize the entire body, so that the falling down becomes less and less... until finally, voila! They're walking like a pro.

There's not a parent in existence who would watch their child learning to walk, and think to themselves, "this kid is a total failure". On the contrary, with each step and stumble, that proud Mom or Dad is thinking, "You've got this! C'mon, one more step!"... all the while, cheering them on.

So why in the world would we as mature adults, consider our steps and stumbles in life to be any different?

If you're overly concerned that you're going to fail at something, it's because you're equating it to actually being a failure. This is nothing more than a mindset; one that can be corrected at a moment's notice.

As you read this, consider that project you've been hesitant to start; that promotion you've been wanting, but were afraid you might fail at; or even the commitment you're hesitant to make, because you might let someone down.

Now, being completely realistic with yourself, envision the steps and stumbles you're going to make, as your "muscle memory" gets better and better. Failures are not only normal, but completely necessary, in order for you to learn how to stabilize on your road to success.

So remember; failure cannot be avoided, nor should it be. Failures are nothing more than brief moments in life that teach us how to accomplish what we've set out to do.

Today, while you're traveling the road to success, embrace the unexpected failures along the way. They're really nothing more than turn-by-turn directions, that will get you to where you want to go.

Source

Why You Should Improve Your Emotional Intelligence Before A Job Search

In today’s volatile employment market it is difficult to land a job that we want, like and are good at doing. It is even more difficult to do that without honing all of our skills to perfection.

When job-hunting, most of us focus on our achievements, our brains, appearance, and personality. That is all good, but there is one thing that gets overlooked on a constant basis: emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is an important bit of the puzzle, something that employers are testing for extensively, even though it is a soft skill. Years ago, research showed that employees with average IQ will outperform employees with higher IQ.

It was a bit of a head-scratcher; you would assume, logically, that a smarter person would perform better at any given task.

The research proved otherwise and, ever since, emotional intelligence has been the tipping factor when it comes to deciding between two, otherwise, similar job applicants.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is something intangible within us all, something deeply rooted that helps us understand ourselves and understand others.

It is a set of skills that govern how we perceive ourselves, how we control our emotions, how we manage our time, but also how good are we at relating to other people, their experiences, and their emotions.

Some people are, unfortunately, emotionally stunted. They are not all that good at socializing, reading social cues, or showing empathy towards their fellow man.

This can be a detrimental factor if you are looking for a job. Luckily, your emotional intelligence is something you can work at and, with practice, you will get a lot better at managing yourself and other people as well.

3 Reasons to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Benefits of improving your emotional intelligence are numerous; it is a skill that when developed to a degree, will help you in both your personal and professional life. Before embarking on a long and trying process of job search, it is important to challenge ourselves and to see what we are actually after.

Boosting EI will help you in few categories that are crucial for job success. First of those things is self-awareness. Emotionally intelligent people have a clear-cut understanding of who they are and where they are headed.

They are able to be brutally honest towards themselves, evaluating their strengths and weaknesses with ease. This is an important competency to have when looking for employment.

Being honest towards yourself, understanding what you are suited for and can actually do, means that you are less prone to wasting your or the interviewers time.


1. Self-Awareness


Self-awareness is something that helps us recognize our feelings. It allows us to rule over them instead of letting them get the best of us.

Bursts of self-pity or anger, when displayed during an interview, do not get you on the top of the list of candidates. Self-awareness comes coupled with self-regulation. People who are composed and able to think before they act are also much better at reacting to change.


2. Motivation

Motivation is also influenced by emotional intelligence.

Although motivation is governed by many things, it is important to note that people with higher emotional intelligence are motivated mostly by immaterial things and they are willing to sacrifice short-term success for a long-term vision.

Building up you emotional intelligence will help you put things in perspective, so when you show up for an interview you will not be a deflated, old tire, but a motivated, highly productive individual that can contribute to the company in many ways.

Interviewers pick up on those things.

3. Empathy & Social Skills

Empathy and social skills are the most important weapons in the arsenal of emotional intelligence. Empathy in particular; it enables you to pick up signals from other people, to sense how they are feeling and to adjust your behavior accordingly.

This can be a very handy tool during an interviewing process; in fact, it is an important skill to have when going through life in general. Empathetic people are great listeners and are easy to confide in; they make for naturally born leaders.

They are open and appreciate the opinion of other people. In short, they are a kind of people every company wants to hire.


Summary

So if you are currently looking for employment, you’re smart and capable and have achieved great results in the past, but are unsure of where you stand with emotional intelligence, test yourself.

Take a deep look at all the things we mentioned above and assess how good you are at them.

If you think you are not very good at some of them, practice! The brain is a marvelous instrument and you can condition it to adapt and to change.

Use emotional intelligence strategies to help you achieve your goals; listen more attentively, curb your reactions, try to put yourself in the shoes of other people. It will make a better person and a better employee!

Source