A personal space is a space where you hide your own weaknesses, strengths, pain, past, fear, etc. and a boundary is your personal space where you decide, who you want to be, what company you want to be in, what are your motives in life and who are important to you. When you set priorities for each and every person in your life it is the time when you set your personal boundaries. These boundaries show the limits regarding how others can treat or behave around you. Setting boundaries will ensure your protection against emotional and mental exploitation. Healthy boundaries are those that are impartial and reasonable and suitable for one's age and maturity. You can say yes or no without guilt, feel angry or fearful. You can refuse to tolerate abuse or disrespect. Thus, make yourself a unique personality.
Some signs of unhealthy boundaries
1. Talking to someone unknown at an intimate level.
2. Letting others control your life.
3. Unreasonably, intentionally hurting someone.
4. Tolerating false and vulgar remarks.
5. Letting others set boundaries for you.
6. Doing something against your family morals, personal values and rights.
7. Letting others take undue advantage of you.
8. Tolerating mockery made out of you constantly.
9. Passing comments without knowing the person's situation and his/her hardships.
10. Violating other's boundaries.
Tips for setting boundaries
For setting healthy boundaries we need to keep certain things in mind. Due to fear of rejection and loneliness, you hesitate in expressing your feelings and desires. And in order to avoid the conflict and the feeling that you owe them for some reason, you constantly tolerate the disrespectful behavior, hence resulting in becoming a doormat. This happens when you are unable to set your personal boundaries. So, stop being doormat because you are responsible for how you allow others to treat you.
Learn to say No and Stop pleasing others at your own cost. When it comes to your self-respect and dignity then you must not ignore your personal needs, profits and unnecessarily agree to do those things that can harm your well-being.
Using various strategies to set healthy boundaries:
There are some appropriate ways to assert boundaries and you have to follow them one by one according to hardness of the situation.
1. Informing: Firstly we need to calmly make them realize that the way they are behaving is not appropriate.
2. Requesting: After informing we can request them to lower their voice and try to cool them down.
3. Instructing: In case the person completely ignores our request, then we must instruct him/her to bring appropriate changes in their behavior.
4. Warning and demanding: Even after instructing if there is no change in his/her behavior and conduct towards us, then firstly we need to warn them and then command them to change their conduct.
5. Lastly if there is still no sign of change in behavior then leave the place to avoid further conflict.
Be tactful in some situation, as they are worth letting go, because sometimes your actions can get you into dangerous situation, which are quite difficult to handle. For example while walking down the road, someone whistles or stares you; if you are alone, then it is better to ignore it.
As it is rightly said that if you want respect then you must give respect so, respect other's boundaries, if you want others to respect your boundaries. Respecting other's boundary can help you in becoming more mature, responsible and understanding. Hence
"Discipline yourself to do what is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction."- Brain Tracy.
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