Why Making Others Happy Can Make You Happy

When people feel happy, they experience positive feelings which they attribute as being something good.

But when people make someone other than themselves happy, it amplifies those positive feelings even bigger, more and further.

That's why people feel great about themselves and are inherently fulfilled when they know they have made a positive difference to someone's lives.

In fact, if you are ever feeling down yourself, one way to bring yourself up is to find ways to make others happy. This will give you an emotional boost you need.

When you strive to make others happy, they notice. They will have a boost in their mood which you will see that reaction in their face immediately. Sometimes, this random act of kindness may somehow return to you immediately or sometime in the future.

The great part about making others happy is it is relatively easy to do.

It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment. Or it can be volunteering to help out your colleague whose workload is overextended. Sometimes, simply expressing your appreciation to someone can uplift their spirits no matter how small the task that you are thanking them for is.

One really easy way to make people happy is to smile.

Smiling is a warm and friendly act that most people will respond to positively by smiling back. A smile is a form of welcoming and shows that you are opening yourself up to those people. It gives people an invitation to approach you.

Another way to make someone happy is to actively listen to them. You would be amazed at how effective this is.

Most people aren't good listeners because they tend to wait for the silent moment so that they themselves can talk and express their opinions. However, if you can stand out from the crowd and be a fantastic listener, they will fall in love with spending time with you as hanging out with you makes them feel happy.

If you want to go a step further in making others happy, try to learn more deeply about the people whom you want to make happy.

Be curious and interested in what they do. Then, if you see something related to their interests, either bring it to their attention or relate to them with your experience about that thing so that both of you are connecting in an emotional expressive level.

Of course, you should never use these skills to manipulate, trick or deceive people in order to make them happy. This type of malicious intention will be caught (especially by the intuitive sociable people) and hurt you and your reputation very quickly.

People will appreciate you much more and will respond positively to your efforts to make them happy instead of trying to get something out of it for yourself. And when you do it in a value-giving, non-needy, generous way, they will more likely to reciprocate and do awesome things for you to make you happy.

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How to Find Inspiration After Experiencing Big Failure

I am sure that you have heard the saying that if you have never failed at anything, then you never tried anything.

This saying is quite true. Ask the big captains of industry and the inventors of things that changed the face of humanity and they will tell you how they kept moving from failure to failure.

I certainly agree with those who say that the real challenge is not in falling, it is rather in your ability to rise up after every failure.

How to Deal With Failure Properly

Learning to deal with failure is not something you start learning when you are an adult.

It is actually something you have to learn while you are still going to college. This is the reason why I am starting this article by looking at the common instances of failure while you are still in school and college.

I have also looked at rejection when you apply for a place in college or a job. You will certainly be glad to hear that when you fail, you are not the fist and you will certainly not be the last.

These are common failures many people experience:


Failure In College

I still remember when I arrived in college for the first time.

It had not yet dawned on me that college was a lot different from high school. No one had told me that essay writing in college is something which requires research and diligence.

I just thought that I would use my natural intelligence and everything will be fine.

I was in for a rude awakening. For the first time in my life, I got a mark below 50%. However, this never happened again, one of my professors told me that I could order an essay and just give the instruction “write my essay”.

Essay writing services helped me a lot to understand how a college assignment should be written. As you can see it was through failure that I discovered a very important lesson.


Expulsion
Another big failure for many students in college is being expelled.

While I was in college, two of my friends were expelled; one for failing to hand over the minimum number of assignments for a given semester and another one for presenting work of another student as his own.

My friend actually thought that since the assignments were going to be marked by different professors, they would not see that the work was the same.

He was wrong, the college was now using a new system where all assignments were checked for plagiarism.

In the event that another assignment had already been submitted to this system, if you attempted to submit another one which is the same, the system would flag it.

His biggest problem was that even when he had been caught, he refused to accept that he had done something wrong. So he was put before a disciplinary committee which found him guilty.


Rejected College Application

Another big source of disappointment for many college students is when they fail to get space in a college that they want to go to.

There is usually more competition when it comes to getting into your good colleges. Many more people are rejected at such colleges than are accepted. I do not think that this should be viewed as a failure at all.


It is not about the college you go to but rather your character and what you can do with your degree.

I would rather work with someone who went to a less known college but has a great work ethic than someone who has been to the Ivy League with a wrong attitude.


A Job Taken By Someone Else

Only after leaving college do you see that it is a jungle out there.

Sooner than later, those expectations of a corner office with air conditioning start to fade away with each regret letter you get from the employers of your choice.

It is easy to start thinking that maybe something is wrong with you. Well, nothing is wrong with you, there are millions of other graduates competing for the same job you are vying for and the very same corner office you have in your imagination.

Sometimes you know that the job was going to be yours if it had not been stolen by someone who already knows someone else in the company. You feel hurt because you know you could do a great job if you had been given the chance.


How to Find Inspiration After Experiencing Big Failure

The good thing about failure is that it is actually not the end. You can use the following tips to find inspiration after failure:


1. Accept Your Weaknesses

Every human being has weaknesses.

The first thing you need to do after failing is to accept that it has happened to you because failure happens to human beings.

Accepting this helps you to accept that this is not a reflection of your life as a whole. It is just a temporary setback.


2. Accept That Everyone Fails

Show me anyone who has never failed in their lives and I will show you someone who has never lifted a finger. Everybody has had experience of failure before. This should comfort you.


3. Accept That You Are In Control.

When you are expelled from college, your application is rejected or someone else takes a job you thought was yours; it is easy to blame others for it. When you stop the blame game and take responsibility, you are growing.

It helps you to address any deficiencies you may have.


4. See the Lesson

The biggest thing you can take from failure is the lesson it has taught you.

This gives you a chance to examine your life. It gives you a chance to introspect.

If there are any weaknesses you need to address, you will only be able to see them after doing this soul searching. There are many lessons I would never have learned if I had not failed.


5. Pain Helps You Grow

You will find inspiration if you accept that the pain you get from failure helps you to grow. There are certain things you will not understand until you have had a chance to live then.

For example, you would not know what it feels like to lose a job unless you had lost one before. We only learn the feeling of losing a loved one after we have lost a loved one. That is the essence of life.
6. It Gives Material For Stories

If you have ever listened to a story about how someone succeeded against the odds, you are essentially listening to a story about failure. The reason why the story is moving you is because someone has learned from the failures of their lives.


Summary

Failure should never be considered as something permanent.

It only becomes permanent if you allow it to defeat you. It’s something that happens to all human beings who have ambitions.

If we look at the lessons we can learn from our failure, we will soon realize that in order to succeed we have to be prepared to fail. It should never be seen as the end, but rather the beginning of a new way of looking at life.
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FIND YOUR FREEDOM

“The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.” ― C. JoyBell C.

“If you don’t go to university you’re a loser!”

These words rang in my ears through high school. No, it wasn’t my supportive parents chirping these words, it was the teachers and principal at my private school in the 90’s.

Constantly hearing these words was like hiding one of the answers in a multiple choice question – it was limiting and made me think my future options were only the ones they were feeding me. I imagine the test would look something like this:

What do you want to do after high school?

a) Go to university (p.s. Great choice, you’re an instant success!)

b) Go to a private college (p.s. Are you sure? You’ll possibly become a loser)

c) Get a job (p.s. Are you ready for your loser tattoo yet?)

d) Explore the world before deciding what you want to do with your life (p.s. If you’re reading this you’re delusional because it isn’t an option on this test. Be warned – traveling, or taking time out, and not studying after school is a formula for dismal failure).

OK, back to reality…

As an obedient girl who disliked conflict, I did the obvious and enrolled in university after graduation. Having no clear idea what I wanted to do or contribute to the world wasn’t a consideration. You see, my high school teachers said that, if I didn’t know what to study at university, I should enroll in an Arts Degree, as that would help me find myself, my true passion.

Yeah right, the plan didn’t work. I lasted 2 weeks, 2 long, soul-destroying weeks.

“I hate this with a passion. How can I get out of it?” is what I used to think every day. Not having the guts to quit, I created my own private prison and was prepared to give up just about anything in return for the exit key.

As fate would have it, the key fell into my lap. At the end of my 2nd week of study, I fell ill with a mysterious, debilitating condition. This was bittersweet; it completely removed me from my work and social life, but it also gave me a viable reason to leave university without being labeled a ‘loser’ for quitting.

I unenrolled as quick as I possibly could.

I felt so free. Despite having no money coming in and being unable to visit friends, my sense of relief and freedom was immense. I wallowed in this state, trying to find a pill to fix my body, for more than a year.

After visiting countless doctors and natural therapists, I was beginning to feel better. Still slow and with a strong memory of hating uni, I allowed myself to realize that I had developed a strong interest in natural medicine. Tentatively, I explored my options and eventually enrolled in a private college to study naturopathy.

Remember, according to my school teachers this meant that I could never be highly successful in life, only mediocre at best.

Whatever.

I didn’t care. I’d had enough of listening to the opinions of teachers, principals and other so-called successful authority figures. My future was my business and I decided it was time to re-enter the world and focus on something that genuinely interested me.

It took me 5 ½ years to finish my naturopathic course. Most people do it in 3 or 4, but my health slowed the process significantly.

You know, I was actually pleased it took so long because it gave me time to discover what was genuinely important to me. Becoming a health practitioner is a big responsibility and I felt that taking the extra time was important (I was only in my early 20’s).

Fast-forward 10 years and I was loving my career. Educating others and helping them take responsibility for their health fed me on a deep level.

But then, an old feeling returned…

I realized I was unhappy. My old mantra of “I hate this. How can I get out of it?” was back. I guess it was listening to sad stories of struggle day in, day out that got me down.

Despite my proven ability to treat clients, I had developed intense anxiety that mainly reared its ugly head just before my appointments. I’d even try to barter with my colleague, asking her to see my clients in exchange for me doing some of her duties.

After 12 months of anxiety and bartering, I knew I had to make a change; but, I was still resisting making the final leap, just like I did with university.

What happened next?

Fate stepped in (again) and gave me my out. One night, I fractured my heel and tore ligaments from my toe through to my ankle. It was pretty bad and the pain was intense.

However… this was my exit key.

I happily called work for the next week telling them I couldn’t walk and was unable to come in. At this stage, I was so content not going to work that I hadn’t even considered going to the doctor to see what was wrong, nor had I got crutches to help me move.

Yes, I was hopping on 1 leg around my house (up and down stairs) for a week before I decided to do any investigations.

After I got the results, I milked it with work for another week. During this time away, I realized how plausible it was to leave – to quit the career I had worked so hard to create. I realized the feeling of leaving, with no job to go to and an impaired ability to walk, was far more enticing than the prospect of earning a steady income and dreading seeing clients.

The day I quit that job – and career – was just as freeing as unenrolling from university. Oh, it felt sooooooooo good!

But, reality set in just a few days later.

Having no income, no job prospects and little ability to walk had left me with no option but to make a change. After 9 months, my foot totally recovered and I was ready to make my move.

So, where am I now?

Much to the dismay of my high school teachers, I have a highly successful career that requires no university degree. It’s a creative job that demands passion, innovation and an ability to think on the run.

My husband and I run a film production house and we’re happier – and healthier – than ever before. Around the same time, we both made the decision to change our careers (he was a factory worker), and now, after years of learning, training and on the job experience, we run a successful business and work with organizations around the world.

This truly is what freedom feels like.

So, what have I learned?

Well, it’s obvious to me that life can be amazing even if you don’t have a university qualification. What’s most important is that you listen to the little voice inside that’s telling you on a daily basis if you’re moving towards, or from, something that makes you happy. If you use this as your barometer for success, not the words of you high school teachers, you’re on the path to true health, happiness, and satisfaction.

What’s your little voice saying?

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