7 Reasons to Be Careful When Choosing Friends & How to Do So

The following goes without saying;

THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU SURROUND YOURSELF HAVE A GREAT IMPACT ON WHO YOU BECOME IN LIFE.

The opinions of your friends are often more important than those of other people, even your family members. That’s why it’s in your interest to choose your friends wisely. They can be the reason why you succeed or fail in achieving your life goals.

7 Reasons to Be Careful Choosing Friends

Here are 7 reasons why you should be careful when choosing friends and how to enjoy long-lasting friendships that add plenty of value to your life.


1. Your friends have a great influence over you

When it comes to your emotions and moods, the influence of your friends is unparalleled.

If you’re spending a great time with your friends, your mood is bound to improve. If their remarks make you feel bad, your mood will inevitably decline.

A research study published in 2014 demonstrated that friends tend to bond when providing one another with moral support intended to resist a temptation. Still, sometimes friends would become partners in crime when it came to indulging together.

Friends help bring out the best in you, there’s no doubt about it. But they can easily influence you in a way that might pose a problem to other areas of your life.

That’s why it should be your objective to find people that make you feel good. If you surround yourself with negative people, you stand no chance at being happy thanks to these relationships. Cut out the negative friends from your life and you’ll instantly feel better.

2. You’ll grow with strong-willed friends


If you surround yourself with people who are very self-disciplined, you’re bound to become more immune to the various temptations that prevent you from staying on track.

Research shows that when people can’t quite manage to control their schedules, they often look for help among the self-disciplined people in their lives. Nothing gives a boost to your willpower like a strong-willed friend.

You need self-control in order to reach your long-term goals. That’s why you should avoid befriending people who aren’t strong willed and instead choose those who have a lot of willpower. That’s the secret to maintaining healthy habits and paving the road to success.


3. They help build you up for success
When a friend encourages you, you’ll feel as if you could achieve just about anything in the world. Friends are the people having your back as you push forward toward your goal by offering plenty of positive reinforcement.

With the support of your friends, you’ll have a greater chance at succeeding. That’s why choosing the wrong friends is so dangerous to your success. Instead of encouraging you, they’re more likely to put your down.

Avoid people who don’t respect your choices or constantly express skepticism about your ideas. Real friends will always support you, no matter how crazy your idea is and will only withdraw their support when they believe that you might do yourself harm.


4. Wrong friends can cause you to be counter-productive

A toxic friend is a serious threat to your success.

A friend who constantly makes negative comments about your goals and dreams will only distract your from them. In the end, you’ll have to work harder towards achieving your objectives.

If you think that you’ll fail, the chances are high that you will. And if a friend brings you down, you’re in for trouble.

Spot any friends who are happy to sit back and provide a fresh dose of criticism every time you two meet? Avoid them for your own good, don’t expect them to say anything nice to you.


5. Close friends are the secret to living a long and happy life

According to a study from by Australia’s Flinder’s University, adults who have close friends are likely to live longer. Researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends would outlive their counterparts by 22%.

Friendship is healthy. And you should definitely seek out the company of other people.

But be careful while doing that. You don’t want to end up with a friend who instead of making you healthy and balanced makes you nervous and unhappy. Friends are supposed to contribute to your well-being – and research shows that they can do that in a significant way.

That’s why you should be wise to choose friends who genuinely care about you. If you feel good at the mere thought of meeting them, it’s a sign they could be one of these friends who boost your longevity.


6. Friends can inspire you
Having someone around who is genuinely interested in what you’re doing is quite amazing.

Your friends should cheer for you and be invested in your life (naturally, this type of engagement goes both ways). It’s important that they’re like this, because the opinion of your friends will matter to you.

Every time they make an effort to take an interest in your life, it gives you an extra boost of support. Friends can inspire you to work harder towards achieving your goal, or make sure that you’re sticking to your resolutions.

If your friends aren’t doing any of that, they’re not real friends. They simply don’t care about your path and don’t want to be part of your journey towards success.


7. Friends can can serve as an example for you

Choosing great friends is beneficial if you need a push to start doing something on your own. Friends easily serve as examples, providing your with plenty of motivation to achieve your goals.

When you see how happy your friends are when pursuing their objectives, you’ll want to follow suit and be productive as well. Their good behaviors will rub off on you.

However, if your friends do nothing but drink beer and watch television, you’re more likely to join them and spend your time on the couch just to keep them company. Their habits will inevitably influence your habits and before you know it, you’ll become a couch potato too.

That’s why you should be wise when choosing who to befriend. Pick a friend with good habits, and their presence is bound to make your life more exciting.
Summary

Surrounding yourself with people who are like you and want to achieve something in of their life is critical.

Great friends will motivate you and support your dreams. That’s why you should value your existing friendships and handle new ones with care.

These 7 reasons should make it clear why it’s worth to be careful when choosing friends to accompany you throughout your life.
Has this article helped you to choose your friends more wisely? Leave a comment below.

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How to Overcome Perfectionism: 6 Powerful Habits

“Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.”
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it.”
Edith Schaeffer

One of the most common challenges that people email me about – and I myself have had quite a bit of trouble with – is perfectionism.

It’s an issue that can hold you back in life. Not only from achieving and finishing what you want.

But sometimes from even getting started. While at the same time draining your self-esteem and getting you stuck in a negative spiral where it can become harder and harder to start moving forward.

So today I’d like to share 6 things that have helped me – and still helps me to this day – with this destructive and distracting thought habit.


1. Go for good enough.

Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead.

Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

So find a balance for yourself where you do good work and don’t slack off but at the same time don’t get lost in trying to improve and polish something too much.

How to find that balance? I have found my own balance through trial and error and experience.

2. Realize that you hurt yourself and the people around you by buying into myths of perfection.

By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.

But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to:
Cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you.
Harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world.

I find it very helpful to remind myself of these simple facts.

Whenever I get lost in a perfectionist headspace I remind myself that it will cause me and my world harm. And so it become easier to switch my focus and thoughts because I want to avoid making destructive choices and avoid causing myself and the people closest to me unnecessary pain.

3. Accept that you are human and so are everyone else.

Set human standards for everyone and accept that life is like that.

Everything and everyone has flaws and things don’t always go as planned. You can still improve things but they will never be perfect.

And realize that you won’t be rejected if things or you aren’t perfect. At least not by reasonably well-balanced human beings, like most people actually are in reality.

4. Compare yourself to yourself.

Comparing yourself to other people on a regular basis can easily lead to feeling inferior. There will always be a lot of people ahead of you in any area of life.

So compare yourself to yourself…
See your improvement, see how far you have come.
Look back at what you have overcome.
Appreciate yourself and focus what you have done and are doing rather than what everyone else is doing.

5. Do what you think is the right thing.

So you realize that perfectionism will harm you and you try to avoid it. But people and media and the society around you have an influence over how you think and feel.

One of the best ways I have found to practically lessen that influence is by doing the right thing as much as possible. When you do that other people’s expectations have less and less power over you and you take more charge of your life.

Because by doing the right thing your self-esteem goes up and other people’s opinions about you and life will matter less to you. You have become stronger, more certain in who you are and you are not so easily swayed by external forces.

6. Shape an environment of human standards around you.

Emotions are contagious. So is perfectionism.

And even though you can lessen the impact that your environment has you can also work at the other end of things.

You can reshape your environment by for example:
Reducing or cutting out the sources that try to reinforce perfectionism in you. Take a little time to review what websites, magazines, podcasts, TV-shows and books you spend a lot of time with. Take a look at if they have realistic and positive expectations or views on you and on life. And if not, choose to spend more of your time with the sources that lift you up and support you.
Spending less time with nervously perfectionistic people. And more of your time each week with people who are trying to improve themselves and/or are living a good life in a positive, healthy and relaxed way.

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How to Overcome Failure: 9 Powerful Habits

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”
C. S. Lewis

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
Michael Jordan

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
Samuel Beckett

Oftentimes things go OK or even better than that.

But on some days they don’t.

You make a mistake, have setback or you simply fail. It’s no fun. But you can’t avoid it either unless you avoid doing anything at all.

So what’s needed is a smart and self-kind way to handle such situations instead of letting them lead to vicious self-beatings and to them dragging you down into negativity for the day or month.

This week I’d like to share 9 habits that’ve helped me with that. I hope they will be useful for you too.

1. First, just accept how you feel.

When you’ve just failed it will most likely hurt. Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot.

That’s OK. Don’t try to push it away by distracting yourself or by trying to push the responsibility onto the rest of the world (if you deep down know that this one’s on you partly or fully). And don’t try to paint it over with a smile.

I’ve found that it works better to not let yourself be lead away by those options or impulses.

But to just be with what I’m thinking and feeling. To try to accept it, to let it in and to hurt for a while instead of trying to reject it all and to keep it away.

Because when you let it in and accept it then it will go faster and in the long run be less painful to process what has happened.

If you reject how you really feel then those emotions will pop up at unexpected times later on and can make you moody, pessimistic, angry or sad.

2. Remember: you’re not a failure just because you had a setback.

When you’ve had a setback it’s very easy to start thinking that you will always keep failing in this area of your life. It’s easy to start thinking that YOU are indeed a failure.

Don’t fall for such a destructive and sometimes seductive self-fulfilling prophecy.

Instead, remind yourself that:
Just because you failed today or yesterday doesn’t mean that you’ll fail the next time.
The truth is that this won’t last for the rest of your life if you keep moving forward, if you take action and you keep learning and it doesn’t label you as some kind of failure (except if you decide to create that label in your own head).

Seeing what’s negative as a temporary thing instead of something permanent is an essential key to an optimistic attitude and to keep going forward in life.

3. Be constructive and learn from this situation.

See it more as valuable feedback and something you can use to improve rather than only a big blow and setback.

I’ve found that the simplest and most helpful way to do that is to ask myself better questions (instead of the common ones that send you off into a negative spiral).

Questions like:
What’s one thing I can learn from this?
How can I adjust my course to avoid this trap/making the same mistake and likely do better next time?
What’s one thing I can differently the next time?

Take some time with these questions and be honest with yourself as you answer them. There’s no rush and while some of the answers may be immediate others might take an hour, day or even a week to pop up.

The important thing is to start thinking about the situation from this perspective and to be constructive about things instead of getting stuck in denial or negativity and apathy.

4. Remind yourself: anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail.

We often mostly just hear about people’s successes. But the path to those milestones tends to have many setbacks. The story of someone’s success may seem only bright and fast-moving in what’s told in the media or we see in our minds.

But the reality – and the useful way to approach setbacks – is most often more like this quote by Michael Jordan:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

5. Let it out into the light.

Another powerful way to handle the emotional fallout and the thoughts that come from a failure is to not keep it all bottled up inside.

But to let it out into the light by talking it over with someone close to you.
By venting about it while the other person just listens you can sort things out for yourself, help yourself to accept what happened instead of pushing it away and release that inner pressure.
By having a conversation about the situation you can see it from another perspective and through someone else’s eyes. This person can help you to ground yourself in reality again, to encourage and to perhaps even to find a way forward.


6. Find inspiration and support from your world.

A conversation with someone close to you can be very helpful.

Another thing you can do is to learn from those who’ve gone where you want to go. Read about how they handled setbacks and low-points before or during their success in books, on websites or online forums.

Or you can simply tap into the enthusiasm or motivation of someone else by listening to a podcast or audio book for maybe 30-60 minutes. This may not be specifically about your current challenge but can help you to shift your mood and mindset back towards optimism again.

7. Move forward again, don’t get stuck in mulling this situation over for too long.

Processing the situation and accepting it is essential.

But I know from experience that it’s also easy to get stuck in the same thoughts going around and around for week or a month.

The habit that has helped me with this trap is to take what I learn from questions like the ones I shared in tip #3 and to make a small rough plan for how I want to move forward from here.

So I take some time to sit down and write that one out.

8. Take action on that plan right away after you’ve drawn it up.

The plan you come up with will just be a start. You can course-correct later on, along the way.

So you don’t have to make it perfect. Trying to do that can sometimes just be a way to procrastinate because you fear failing again or because it is hard to start moving after this rough and disorienting thing that happened to you.

Split your start of a plan up into small steps and then take action on just one of them.

If you still have a hard time to get going then go for a very small step, just 1-5 minutes of action forward. The important thing is to get started and moving forward again so make that easy on yourself.

9. Improve your self-esteem.

A last thing that has helped me in general to handle setbacks is to improve my self-esteem.
By doing so failures don’t become something that so easily drags me down and I recover more quickly from them.
It also makes it easier to see what happened with more clarity and to take responsibility when I am responsible but also to see when someone else is partly responsible or when I just had bad luck that I could honestly not have predicted. And that helps me to not think that everything that goes wrong in my life is 100% my fault.

But how do you improve your self-esteem?

A good start would be to use much of what you find in this article. Like remembering that YOU are not a failure, that everyone have setbacks, to be constructive in the face of adversity and so on.

By doing these things over and over and making them habits your self-esteem improves.

And over time a smaller setback may just bounce off of you and a larger one will not be the same blow as it used to and the shock and climb back up from what happened becomes easier and not something that is as paralyzing anymore.

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3 Ways to Get Things Done When You Don't Want To

Everyone experiences that feeling of not being able to get anything done. Not just not getting things done because you ran out of time or had emergencies come up, but rather just that you can't do it. Usually you're mentally out of it or frazzled or just plain aren't able to care enough right now to do anything. It's kind of a mental exhaustion more than anything else. Sometimes we feel physically exhausted because of it too.

What do you do about this? It's not something that you can fix by learning a new skill. You've probably already got the skills to do what needs to be done. It's not something that can be fixed by listening to some motivational speaker most of the time. Motivational speakers often stir up excitement that pushes us over the edge into action. When you're mentally out of it, you're no where near that edge.

Here's a few simple methods I've used over the years to want to get those things done, so I can actually be able to get them done.


Walk away. Somethings you just have to walk away from things and take a break. This might be taking a few days of total relaxation where you don't try to do anything or worry about doing anything. It might mean a few days of vacation somewhere nice and sunny. The important thing is to not think about what needs to be done at all if you can arrange it. When you get back, your mind is often relaxed enough to concentrate on what you have to do.

Delegate it. This one isn't something everyone can do depending on what you're blocked on. If you're a small business owner, there may not be anyone handy to delegate things to. Some things only you can do. However, there are things even small business owners can delegate. There's plenty of options to outsource work on the internet. There's temporary help you can hire locally. Heck, sometimes you can get your family to help out. The key is to get someone to ease your load and so you can ease your mind.

Just don't do it. Let it go. Just don't do it. The majority of things get stuck on or mentally check out when they come up are things that we rarely absolutely have to do. There's a small number of things that are so critical to our personal and professional lives that we absolutely have to do without fail if we don't want to cause a catastrophe. The things we just can't get ourselves to do are rarely thing things that earn us the most money, get the most clients, get the most things done or please the boss the most.



What's the common thread here? We give ourselves a break. Why? So we can work through whatever's keeping us from being able to do the things we think we should without the added pressure of feeling guilty for not doing them.




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Essence of Self Confidence

Have you ever observed how people pay more attention to what things look like than what purpose these things actually exist for? For example, there are two bars of the same chocolate in two different boxes. The other is covered in beautiful and shiny paper. The latter is placed in a plain box on top a hidden shelf. Obviously, you know which one will get picked by people who pass by, even though the contents are the same. Believe it or not, this is the very same case when it comes to people and confidence. In fact, it happens to people every second of the day, every day of the year. Whenever people mingle, there's just no room for the absence of assessment. Although there are a few people on earth who do not mind what their peers think of, chances are there are billions more who actually care and get terribly affected by negative remarks. The sad part is that most of these people are often misjudged due to how they look, act and other shallow standards. From never looking anyone straight in the eye, excessively fumbling and even murmuring instead if talking... all these barriers to personal growth are actually manifestations of low self esteem.

You see, having self confidence is the trigger which pulls off every positive aspect of life. It is the overall aura you exude for people to notice you. It is the element which lessens other people's doubts about what you are actually worth. This is the element you often see in models when they strut on the catwalk. This is the silencing power you sense in CEO's. It is the soundless air you feel whenever you meet someone which leaves you impressed for no apparent reason at all.

High levels of self-confidence give anyone, including you, more potential to do what has to be done in order to achieve your dreams and ambitions. Professionally, you can use confidence to take your career a notch higher than where it usually is. When you look confident, people will stop looking at you as a fumbling fool. They will get interested in what you are capable of doing. As such, you can seize every opportunity to exert extra effort so that you can show how good you are at your field. Your confidence will assure you of an audience. Your peers and bosses will watch in anticipation as they try to see what you can accomplish. After that, appreciation will follow and you are almost set for the next big step.

Even your personal life is highly affected by confidence. When it comes to relationships, confident people always seem to establish steady emotional bonds with ease and resilience. Confidence is often equated to honesty. It's a character only people who have nothing to hide can truly possess. As you might have observed, people love the absence of pretense. When you're confident, you are actually giving yourself a chance to be what it is no matter how lame it may be according to the world. With this kind of attitude, it will be just a matter of time before you meet people who share common passions with you. By utilizing confidence you can establish these similarities without awkwardness, thus strengthening your personal ties with people.

Most importantly, a steady sense of self confidence can make you feel better as an individual. With it, you can love yourself for who you really are. You can sleep at night knowing the positive and negative aspects of your life, thus giving yourself a chance to make things right. Without insecurity, you can look every problem straight in the eye. You will never have to flee from belittling remarks and violent reactions simply because you believe and know what you are truly capable of. This is the power only pure non amalgamated confidence can make you possess.

Ways to Give Your Self-Confidence a Quick Boost

1. Stay Prepared

No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and act like you know it's going to be a good day. Why is this one of the best confidence boosters? Because you can be sure that when you are prepared for success, it will find you.

2. Order Dessert

This one here is not so much a question of putting your complex carbohydrates before your protein; it's more about doing something that goes against the "norm". Besides the quick boost you'll get from the sugars, breaking some of life's little rules can be quite liberating and can nurture your fearless inner diva.

3. Check Yourself

Checking in with your thoughts and feelings about yourself may be one of the single most important things you can do throughout the day. Most of us tend to be our own worst critics. Left unchecked, that persistently annoying voice that tells us we aren't doing enough or we aren't good enough, will only grow louder and eventually dominate our thoughts.

4. Value Yourself

Because from one fabulous lady to another, paying a deserving compliment goes a long way toward making us feel better about ourselves and unfortunately, we don't do it enough. Contrary to popular belief, criticizing others actually does not make us feel better. Showing that you genuinely appreciate the excellence in another, not only demonstrates the value of your own self worth, but it can be motivation to look around for things that are positive.






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5 Practices to Respond More Positively

Life never happens exactly how we plan it. As children, we don't have a care in the world. No big responsibilities besides finishing chores and homework on time. Then as we grow up into young adults, we start to experience what life is all about. We begin to recognize the various events that causes us to react in ways that sometimes we were not ready for. However, our response to these events will have a direct effect on our future. It is important to be more proactive than reactive and it's just as important to respond positively. Responding effectively and in a positive way to life events (good and bad) will help to make sure that we manage how our future develops.

How can I work on responding more positively?

Here are 5 ways to practice responding more positively about life situations:

Think positively

Most of us truly do not recognize how important it is to think on the things that are pleasant, pure, and genuine. The world is so full of negative images, it's difficult to think or see pass them. The television broadcast news has to report the recent criminal activity to keep us informed along with the devastating disasters that occur across the world. Although they include the small segments of pleasant and genuine news, it's not for the entire hour of the broadcast. However, if we change the 'channel' or change what we often see, we can possibly begin to change what we often think. If that means turning the television completely off, then do it. Stop playing the violent video games for the day. Go to the park and sit in the grass or swing on a swing. Go to the local supermarket and browse the florist department to smell the beautiful flowers. Read your favorite book. Take a nice, relaxing bath. Get a relaxing massage. Play catch or basketball with your son. Do not allow your mind to get filled with so much negativity. The negatively will begin to overtake your thoughts which doesn't result in positive responses.

Speak positively

With thinking positively, you must speak positively. Speaking positively encourages yourself and others. Create affirmations to repeat to yourself on a daily basis. These affirmations can even be your primary goal in life! The more specific your affirmations, the better chance of your vision and thoughts becoming more positive. Do not be selfish when it comes to speaking positively. Encourage others as well. You're not the only one that looks beautiful - compliment others. It can be as simple as complimenting them on a nice pair of shoes or nice color lipstick. Negativity is always around - people yearn for positive things! Be bold when speaking positively! Do not be timid when speaking positive affirmations. You wouldn't whisper to yourself, "I am a great business leader." You would say with confidence and a louder voice, "I am a great business leader!" You are a great person and you have the potential to be extraordinary! As you speak it, you will begin to believe it!

Break bad habits

First thing, be honest with yourself about the bad habits. For the sake of this discussion, bad habits are the actions that cause negative effects on our bodies and/or towards others. Everyone has a bad habit. Some bad habits can be considered impolite and disgusting. We should try to recognize how these bad habits truly affect us and others - currently and in the future. Some bad habits may not bother us or others now - however, we want to recognize the future effects of continuously performing bad habits.

Develop good habits
Good habits take practice in order for them to become natural behaviors that we do. As we start a good habit, it will feel a little unusual and you may think that you aren't being your real self. However, if your overall life goal is to move into a successful arena with other major successful people, then expect some uncomfortable and unfamiliar behaviors that you must do. Bad habits often live within comfort zones. Good habits often times needs to move!

Change your environment for the better

With all that you are doing to think positively, speak positively, break bad habits, and develop good habits - now a change in your environment will take place. The people around you will change which may mean some will not want to hang around you as often (if at all). You may even begin to look around your house and notice some things need to be changed. Some will even go as far as reconsidering their clothes and what they wear - that person will begin to shop for a whole different wardrobe.

Summary
When you begin to understand how important responding effectively about developing yourself is, change is inevitable. The change may not happen overnight, next week, or next month - but I challenge you to believe that because you are destined for greater, you will change for the better in order to reach your full potential!




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Self-Development: Is Being Curious An Important Part Of Being Able To Heal?

Self-Development: Is Being Curious An Important Part Of Being Able To Heal?

If one had a TV that stopped working, there is a strong chance that they would want to know why. This comes down to the fact that if they were to simply ignore it, they wouldn't be able to watch anything.

Being curious about what is taking place is then going to have a positive effect on their life, and this is not something that will cause them to experience pain. If it did, it could be because they will have to end up paying money in order for it to be fixed, and this will cause them to experience discomfort.

Not As Bad

However, even if one did have to pay to get the TV fixed, it is unlikely to be as painful as it would be if they had to go without one. As a result of this, they are going to be willing to tolerate the pain that they would have to go through.

This is an approach that one will take in many others areas of their life, and it will stop them from having to suffering unnecessarily. If one was unable to respond in this way when something isn't right, it would cause them a lot of problems.

Pleasure and Pain

One way of looking at this would be to say that through having the ability to experience pain, it gives one has ability to take action. Therefore, through paying attention to this pain, it will then allow one to experience pleasure.

But even though that is the case, it could be said that it is the need to know what is wrong that will get the ball moving, so to speak. Without having this need, there would be no reason for one to do anything.

Not Separate

Still, if one didn't experience some kind of discomfort, there is the chance they wouldn't have the need to be curious. Thus, it might be better to say that these two things are not separate, and they rely on each other in order to function.

But with that aside, what this emphasises is how important it is for one to be curious when it comes to solving a problem. When this doesn't exist, it can mean that one will end up putting up with something that will cause them to suffer in one way or another.

Pain

What this will then mean is that the pain they are experiencing will be overlooked and one will try to carry on with their life. But while this might work in the short-term, it is unlikely to work in the long-term.

This is an approach that one can take when they have mental and emotional problems and/or when their relationships are not going as they would like them to go. One is then not facing their life head on; they are doing what they can to avoid it.

The Traditional Route

Now, this is not to say that one won't go and see their doctor about what is going on for them, as they could end up being put on some kind of medication. Yet even if one was to do this, it doesn't mean that it would allow them to heal thesmevles or to improve their relationships.

What this could result in is one being disconnected from how they feel, and this is not exactly going to make their life more fulfilling. Along with this, the side effects could end up causing them even more problems as time goes on.

Resistance

And while being curious about why their life is the way it is would give them the chance to move forward, it will also cause them to experience pain. It is then similar to one wanting to go into a dark room to find out what is in there, but the fear of what they may find stops them from having a look.

This powerful ability is then going to be out of action and one will continue to experience life in the same way. It is then not going to be someone else who is holding them back; they are going to be the ones who are sabotaging their life.

Problems

It can then be normal for them to put up with feeling depressed, down, fearful and/or anxious, for instance. Their relationships could be unfulfilling, or they could be abusive in some way.

The people around them could tell them to stay strong and be supportive of what they are going through, but this is not going to change their life. Alternatively, one could be surrounded by people who act as though they have it all together and they could try to rescue them.

Being Curious

If one was to get to the point where they have had enough of suffering, it could cause them to look for answers. They are then aware that this will cause them to experience even more pain, but this won't stop them.

Perhaps they realise that even though this pain might be stronger, it is unlikely to be something that will last forever. This is because the mental and emotional problems that one can have as an adult can be symptoms of something that took place in the past, as can their relational challenges.

A Process

If one was to look for answers, they could end up doing an internet search and/or reading a book, for instance. The first step has then been taken, and they could soon find what they are looking for.

This is not to say that this will be it, as they could soon have the desire to find out about something else. One could also look for something and find that they can't find the answer straight away, but this is part of life.

Awareness

At the end of the day, one's personal growth is important, and even if one can't find something or what they do doesn't work, it doesn't mean they should give up. The main thing is that one keeps going, and through being this way, there is the chance they will gradually find what they are looking for and heal themselves in the process.









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3 Sure Fire Ways To Help With Self Improvement

3 Sure Fire Ways To Help With Self Improvement

Many people today have a hard time with daily routine. Sure, they get up early and go to work, but outside of that, they find themselves struggling to cope with life. If you are one of these people, there are a few things that you can do to help with self-improvement. There's a reason why so many books, videos, and even mental health professionals work in this arena. If you want to ensure that you are able to gain a semblance of control for your life, consider a few things that you can do to help your body and mind today.

Create A Safe Place In Your Home

One of the coolest things that you can do to help yourself is to change up your home's configuration. Create a room that you will want to spend some alone time in. Whether you meditate, pray, or perhaps read, find an area that allows you to enjoy a bit of relaxation. You'll find that having a room to yourself, quiet, and full of the little things you like, can go a long way. You can turn a small closet into a reading room, or set up a bunker for some alone time, but overall this is going to help you gain the upper hand.

Face Your Fears

The next thing that you can do to help you with self-improvement is to conquer your fears. That's right, face your fears and you'll grow such confidence, that you will not be able to get toppled. You need to know what you're afraid of first, but then moving forward to face off against it. Once you face off against it, you will be able to take on the world and feel so much better. Facing your fears is a difficult thing at first glance, but it's definitely a positive thing.

Get Better At What You Do

What do you do for work? Take your job and improve your skills. Brush up on typing, learn a new language, take a speech class. You're going to find that if you improve yourself to the point where your job gets easier, you'll be paid more down the line. Management will see that you're actively improving, and will be able to showcase amazing things to your immediate supervisors and manager. When they see that you're constantly improving, they are more likely to promote you and notice that you're a key asset to the company. You can level up what you do and get a new sense of confidence, and self-esteem.

These 3 sure fire ways to help yourself get better in regards to your life, will improve a lot of things. They help your body, mind, and work. As long as you push through the things that are holding you back, and walk forward through the fires that are ahead of you, you'll end up with a huge jump. Life is tough. However, you can navigate it while improving yourself through time. Test the waters, try these things out and see where you will get to after the fact.



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6 Simple Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Become Fearful

6 Simple Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Become Fearful

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do." Henry Ford

There isn't an individual who hasn't been afraid or faces difficult circumstances that caused them to be fearful at some point. Fear is one emotion that most of us dread, but all will have experienced during our lifetime.

What are you afraid of? What makes your heart stops when you think of it? What stresses you out more than anything else? What is it that worries you most?

Are you worried about your future like so many of us? Do you worry about the security of your job or the future for your children? There isn't a shortage of things to cause us fear. Life is unpredictable and because of the uncertainty and the unknown we develop a fear for the future.

If you are like most of us, you need to develop the right attitude to overcome your fears. Living in fear is never the answer. You need to face the fears you have and find solutions to avoid dealing with them over and over again.

Find the source of your fear and deal with it head-on. The great thing about confronting your fears is that once you have dealt with it, it will no longer cause you to fear. You will also become stronger and better able to deal with other uncertain issues in your life.

Here are six questions you should ask yourself when you are feeling fearful that will help to manage your fears.

1. Am I fearful for the right reasons?

Fear is a good thing as it helps to keep us safe. Use your fear in the right way and for the right reason. Do not spend your life being fearful of life. Use your fear to motivate you to go after your dream. Do not be consumed by the fear of the future but use those fears to work on making your future brighter. Face your fears by channeling them into areas that will give you the results you want.

2. Are my fears positive or negative?

What are the things you dread most? Are they positive or negative? Which type of fears do you tend to focus on? Rather than be fearful of the things you have no control of, channel your energies on to things that will make your life easier and less stressful. Take the time to focus on the positive and do not focus on negative things. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklyn Roosevelt

3. What meaning am I giving to challenges?

Think about it seriously, what are you focusing on? Are you giving these fears a life by constantly thinking about them? If so resist the urge to worry and reclaim your power and focus your attention on things you want to achieve. Focus on the things that will help you to become a better person.

4. Am I causing fear to rob me of my life?

If you spend your life in fear, you will never enjoy your life. There will always be something to fear. Why spend your time worrying about things that might not happen and you cannot control. To be happy, you must rid yourself of fear as fear robs you of your joy. You can never enjoy life being afraid.

5. Are my fears real or imagined?

Many times you cultivate fear when, in fact, there is nothing to fear. When a situation arises, you give it more power than you should? Quit giving your fear the power to grow. Remember things always seem worst than they truly are.

6. What can I learn from these fears?

Find out what lessons life is trying to teach you. Do not miss the opportunity to get the message you are being sent. Whenever you feel afraid, find out what it is that scares you the most and what you can do to reduce your fear.

Our fears will never go away, but you must be able to control your fears and not allow it to control you. Live your life in confidence expecting the best, and the best will happen. When you feel fearful find the cause of your fear and find a solution and if you can't stop worrying about it because there is nothing you can do about it.

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9 Methods Of Benefiting From Criticism

Would you rather listen to someone tell you that you have beautiful eyes or that you're a terrible dancer? Compliments are easy to take. Criticism isn't quite as easy to take in. But criticism can be vital to your long-lasting success. Criticism is nothing more than advice in disguise.

You can decide to take advantage of it or ignore it. Nonetheless, not all criticism is accurate, well-intended, or beneficial.

Obtain criticism and use it to your benefit:

1. Adjust your viewpoint. We naturally love to listen to compliments as well as shy away from criticism. While compliments feel great, they do not accomplish much else. Objection can hurt, yet can inevitably be incredibly helpful. Discover how to value objection and criticism. You could even consider seeking objection as a tool for finding out how you can improve, and also as a useful tool for self-development.

2. Identify if the criticism is useful or harmful. Damaging objection can be overlooked. The intent of the person giving destructive criticism, is to create damage and harm. Constructive criticism has the possibility to be helpful. Consider the source and also the scenario prior to listening to the objective of the criticizer.

3. Swallow your pride. No one appreciates becoming aware of their imperfections or errors. Nevertheless, constructive criticism can be a valuable gift. Possibly you're discovering something that would certainly have taken years to determine by yourself. Leave your vanity at the door and also listen. No person is perfect.

4. Take your time. There's a propensity to react quickly as well as adversely to objection and criticism. You may deserve to be distressed, but then again, you might not.

Take the time to think of it before responding. If possible, sleep on it or even take the weekend to ponder it.

5. Don't be so hard on yourself. Simply because you may have done something the wrong way does not indicate you're less beneficial as a person. Go easy on yourself. Managing criticism and objection well is one method to reveal on your own that you truly do stand out from the crowd.

Few individuals can take criticism well. You'll have a big advantage over others if you can.

6. Take into consideration the validity. When criticism comes from the appropriate resource, it's most likely to be helpful and true. Be objective as well as determine if there is fact to the criticism. Often, individuals are running from misconceptions. Not all criticism is valid. It's up to you to figure out if the objection has any worth.

7. Include the info into your life. Now you recognize that you can be impatient, inexpensive, remote, or that you're a bad driver. Make a plan to resolve this concern if it is important to you. Remember that if a relied on source wanted to bring it up, it might be crucial. Provide it with the focus it deserves.

8. Decide that you're going to do better next time. You'll have plenty of chances to put your new understanding to the test. Bide your time until that chance shows up. This perspective can do marvels for your self-worth and also give you a sense of control over your life. Simply keep trying to improve. There's always tomorrow to try again.

9. Be grateful. It's hard to offer positive criticism to a friend, employee, or member of the family. Be thankful that somebody wanted to do that for you.

You can choose to snap or decide to be grateful when criticism comes your way. Some criticism is only meant to be upsetting and ought to be neglected. Constructive criticism from a trusted source can be a fantastic learning opportunity. Think about whether the objection is accurate as well as legitimate prior to considering it.

Be grateful for the constructive criticism you receive. It wasn't easy on the person providing it.

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Why You Should Start A Passion Project

Is there something you yearn to do? Maybe you haven't told anyone... but still, you keep thinking about it.

Maybe you dream of publishing a graphic novel

or taking the world of knitting by storm with bespoke mittens.

Maybe you are fascinated by origami

or you've always wanted to learn Italian.

But so far you haven't pursued it because it doesn't seem practical. Or responsible. You've got a list of things to do and if it's not on the list, it's not important. Who has time to be frivolous?

I invite you to start a passion project.

A passion project is a trendy name for doing something that excites and inspires you. You do it for your own satisfaction, not for anybody else's. It piques your curiosity and spurs your energy. It doesn't need a purpose.

If you're already thinking "I don't have time for that", then consider this: passion projects are about fostering your well-being by doing something that lights you up.

Passion projects are about freedom too, because there are no rules about what a passion project should be.

The way to begin finding your passion is simple: be curious. Pay attention to what interests you. Your project is something you are drawn to, not something you think your way to. That's why it's a passion project - it elicits a strong emotion. It makes you feel like "Oooh! Yes, THAT!"

If you find yourself describing it with language like "implementing synergistically scalable benefits" you are probably heading in the direction of a resumé-padding project, not a passion project. Check in with your curiosity again.

Are you still resisting your project? Don't judge or censor your ideas with criticisms like "that's silly" or "I can't do that" or "what will people think".It's not about the results, it's about creative action on your terms.

You get to devote as much time and energy to it as you want. Remember, the main benefit of doing a passion project is this: it feels good. It nourishes your spirit. Do not underestimate the power of generating positive feelings - this is what happiness is made of.

A passion project may provide other benefits like learning new skills, meeting new people, contributing to a current career or developing a new one. These bonuses are like icing on the cake. But even if they don't happen, the inspiration, sense of satisfaction and meaning the project provides will carry over into other areas of your life in beneficial ways.

University of Pennsylvania professor Adam Grant writes about pursuing creative interests: "Relative to typical scientists, Nobel Prize winners are 22 times more likely to perform as actors, dancers or magicians; 12 times more likely to write poetry, plays or novels; seven times more likely to dabble in arts and crafts; and twice as likely to play an instrument or compose music."

Play with your curiosity and let yourself explore something new. You never know where your "Oooh! Yes, THAT!" will take you.

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Letting Go of the Fear of the Future

In the future, there is a true hope. In the future, there is a reflection of the abundance and gratitude of today.

Letting go of the fear of the future means, in general, letting go of most of your fears.

Just think about it: 99% of all of our worries and fears are connected only and exclusively with thoughts about the future:

·        What will tomorrow bring us?

·        What if it were something highly unpredictable, or even painful?

·        Will I be able to handle it?

·        Am I ready for that?

·        How will I protect my family?

·        How will I deal with that?

But, what happens when we let go of all these fears?

What happens when we surrender ourselves to the uncertainty of the future, letting ourselves experience all the feelings that lie behind, and letting them simply go, once and forever?

Can we even do that?

Can Letting Go take us so far?

After several Letting Go meditations related to the uncertainty of the future, some interesting revelations came to me when all the negative emotions behind these fears were surrendered, released, and let go.

The most surprising one was the realization that there is not such a thing as a future.

Any moment of our life we live at is defined by being in a state of a clear presence. We simply can't live in the past or future; we can only live in the present.

So, all we can really be fearful of, is just our presence, as this is the only state that we are actually experiencing. Yes, we can also think of extensions, multiplication or variations of the presence, which are often falsely altered with the word "future", but it is still just another form of the presence.

Now, this is great news.

Why?

Because the good thing about the presence is, that we can shape it and define it exactly as we want to - in any given moment. We can instantly decide if we want to be joyful or fearful right now, if we want to be exuberant or impoverished. We have the power of the full choice about the presence, about the actual, instant moment.

But, because the future is, in fact, just an extension or multiplication (or variation) of the presence, by shaping our presence, we can then immediately shape our future as well:

If we feel true hope today, we already create it for our future too.

If we feel abundance and gratitude today, we already create it for our future as well.

I admit that this concept can be a bit difficult to understand for most of you right now. However, after several letting go of these future related issues, you will start seeing it clearer.. This concept needs to be fully experienced (by letting go of the barriers for this experience) first, in order to be able to absolutely understand it, accept it and take great advantages of it.

So here is letting go process of the fear of the future:

1. In a quiet place, close your eyes and think of any of your recent fears about the future.

2. Start noticing the feelings (as they will start coming up) behind your thoughts.

3. Don't try to label these feelings in any way, rationalize or analyze them. Just let them come out and express themselves.

4. Start surrendering yourself to these feelings slowly, let them express themselves fully all over your body (or any other part where you feel them most intensively). Don't push them back, don't block them or act on them either. Just let them be in their natural way and instead, be an independent observer of them, as if they weren't even yours.

5. After a while, make a decision about letting them go once and forever, and then let them actually go and disappear.

The process above will probably need to be, in the case of many people, repeated during the following days, or even weeks, to start experiencing the new, clear perception of the concept of the future (anxiety about the future is in general quite a strong issue) and to start experiencing how worries about the future begin to vanish.

Remember that, with Letting Go, we can't control the moment of the revelation. All we can do is to let go and then let the revelation come to us in the moment it is ready to come. I can guarantee you, that sooner or later it will come, if we let go and surrender ourselves properly. There is no other way.By letting go and surrendering ourselves, we clear the path ahead of us; we clear the vision, and we only need to wait for our own conscious and unconscious mind to adjust to this new reality. Paradoxically, our own brain is quite often the weakest link in our growth!

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5 Ways to Get Inspired by Yourself

It is not difficult to find out newer ways daily to fall in love with yourself, though people tend to forget the actual meaning of life and get depressed easily with what life comes through. But in all the depression nonsense you face daily, you should always find newer ways to get indulge with yourself or to simply what is said, ''fall in love'' with yourself. Here are 5 ways to get inspired by yourself and to know the how beautiful life is.

1. Appreciate Your Best Quality

The best way to get inspired by yourself is to find peace in whatever you are best at doing; for example, you think you can cook well? On a low day, cook for yourself or your family your favorite dish and get ready to achieve all the admiration and appreciation, this is probably the best way how one should start loving themselves, or you think you have any other talent, just give it a start because you can never disappoint the quality you are best at.

2. Challenge Your Limits

You think you cannot drive alone? Well this is when you should definitely be driving alone and gain confidence, nothing can stop you from challenging your limits therefore it is said that there is way beyond the skies, don't settle for less and don't let others things you have fail. Or your friends think you cannot cook? Show them what a terrific chef you can be, when you get the appreciation and admiration from people or from your inner self, that is when you find peace and get relaxed.

3. Come Out of Your Comfort Zone

Don't ever think that your limit is your comfort zone, after facing the challenges it's time now to come out of your comfort zone and try out the bigger challenges of life, not everyone is brave enough to do something which is not their strength and whatever they are perfect at but by doing such tasks you upgrade a level up in your own eyes.

4. Travel Alone

When you travel alone with only your own company & with just a phone in your hand and a small bag full of your goods, it is the best way out to explore yourself. travelling give you the sort of inspiration you always seek in others, when you roam around the unknown streets alone and discover the new ways of getting out of any trouble, that is when you become your own hero.

5. Help Someone in Need

What's more soothing than helping a person in need? Someone for whom you are the only angel and the helping hand, to become your own hero you have to be someone else's hero and prove how genuinely you wanted to offer this helping hand. Real maturity comes when you start thinking about others first and become a source of help and prosperity for someone. Just by giving food to the hungry, clothes to the naked and shelter to the homeless is enough to generate likelihood for you. At the end of the day you can sleep in respite that you made a difference today.

  

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