How to Stop Daydreaming and Start Living the Life You Truly Want

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”
Madame Marie du Deffand

Maybe the most common issue people have with personal development and making a positive change is that it stays a daydream. That they get excited and inspired.

But then as those positive emotions fade nothing really happens.

Life continues as usual. Your health, finances or your relationship with yourself stays the same.

It’s very frustrating. I know.


I used to read about personal development in pretty much all important areas of life. But it probably took me months or years to get going with making any of those positive changes.

Why?

It was uncomfortable. Making the changes felt so big that is was easier to just kept dreaming about it as frustration built up within.

So what can you do if you get stuck in daydreams? The best solution I have found for starting to make your dreams into reality is to go smaller.

Because grand changes and huge ambitions sound so inspiring and motivating. But they are also scary. So the most important step to get started and to keep going, especially when you are new to personal development, is to remove as much pressure and expectations as you can.

That’s at least what has worked and still works best for me. And in this week’s article I’ll share how to do it in two simple ways.

1. Go for just taking a small step.

I have mentioned this many times. With good reason. It is one of the most effective ways to reduce the pressure and the expectations you may put on yourself and to start moving out of standing still or procrastination.

Now, taking just one small step and focusing on that is for instance a great way to become productive at school or at work.

But it can be used in just about any area in life. If you want to become:
Kinder and improve your relationships then just take one small step by giving someone a genuine compliment.
A better listener then have just one conversation today where you focus as much effort as you can on learning more about the person in front of you. And truly be there as best as you can and nowhere else in your mind.

If you like, then tomorrow you can take the same small action and just focus on that.

If you want to take a first step and get started with something then do it today. Someday so easily becomes never or at least a day several months or years into the future. Don’t make that mistake.

And if the first small step you come up with still seems too big to take then think of an even smaller step. Be kind to yourself in this way and make the start as easy on yourself as you can.

2. Go for just taking care of today.

When you feel overwhelmed, tired and just want to quit or relapse into your old and more negative habits then sit down for a minute.

Breathe.

Then narrow your focus greatly. Don’t look forward because then you’ll see all the things you have to do to reach your goal or to create a new habit.

Instead, go smaller and focus on just taking care of today.

Nothing more. Tomorrow will come in time. And then you will take care of that today too.

I highly recommend keeping this narrow focus a daily thing. Sure, you may have to do some planning. Do that early in the week or day. Then shrink your focus again to make your work and life lighter and more effortless.

Focus on just the small steps and on today and soon you will have travelled quite a distance.

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7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

You have to get to work. You haven’t had a full night’s sleep in months. Life can sometimes be overwhelming. And it seems you can do nothing about it.

A solution does exist, though… It’s called mental strength.

7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

Mental strength can’t be seen physically. Rather, it’s a concept. An idea that you can get through anything. You can persevere. But how do you build it? How do you turn your scared mind into a place of confidence and peace?

Here are 7 key stages to becoming mentally strong:


1. Be Consistent

To begin with, consistency is one of the keys to victory in almost any aspect of life.

You go to the gym to tone up. That’s fine and Dandy, but most people quit after two weeks. The consistency isn’t there. You won’t see the progress if you only work out when you feel like it. You have to be vigilant.

Are you working on a novel? Maybe you’re trying to learn a new language. Or, maybe you’re just trying to get through the day. If you’re consistent with growing as a person and continuously working toward your goal, you’ll eventually reach it.


2. Positivity over Anxiety

Have you ever felt guilty for feeling like you’re not getting anything done while everyone else seem to be powering through their goals? This type of guilt is what leads to self-loathing and anxious tendencies.

This is where positive thinking comes in. Positive thinking may seem like a joke, but science backs it up.

Research has shown that positive thinking is a real skill, with real consequences. Positive emotions and thoughts affect both your physical and your mental perception of the world.

It’s more than just being happy all the time – it’s about being confident and having a healthy self-esteem.

With busy schedules and our high drive to succeed, some of us experience anxiety on a daily basis. Anxiety brings emotional and physical symptoms like restlessness or irritability, insomnia, headaches, and fatigue – symptoms a lot of us accept as normal.


TO DEAL WITH THIS ANXIETY, POSITIVE THINKING CAN HELP. BUT POSITIVE THINKING ISN’T “BEING HAPPY ALL THE TIME.” RATHER, IT’S A WAY OF THINKING AND BELIEVING WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.


Psychologists say that the most effective way to eliminate your anxiety is by learning how to change your thoughts and think with more positive energy.

Challenging these negative thoughts by focusing on what is rational, the positive, the beautiful and the pleasant helps you move forward in the right direction.

Life is going to hit you with unexpected events and circumstances. If you’re going to be mentally strong, it’s important to always keep a positive spin on things.


3. Experience New Things

You have something called a “comfort zone.”

It’s the place where you feel the safest. It may be a physical space (such as your room) or a more metaphorical place (such as the state of your life). While living in the comfort zone is nice, it doesn’t do a whole lot to help you grow.

In order to grow and learn, you need to experience different things in life. Start out small.

Take a different route to work. Order something from your favorite restaurant that you’ve never ordered before. Or ask that person out that you’ve always wanted to ask. You’ll be surprised at how much this can impact you in a positive way.

More importantly, these new experiences will show you that new experiences aren’t so scary, and that you can do it.

4. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

In order to build your mental toughness, it’s important to know why you do what you do. Thinking about your core beliefs not only serves as motivation, but it also helps you establish yourself.

Who are you? What drives you? Knowing who you truly are assists you in establishing your mental toughness. It’s a lot easier to fight for your values when you actually believe in them.


5. Focus on What You Can Control

So many times, you lose focus on life. You get distracted and stressed. While getting rid of stress and distractions is impossible, there’s a strategy that can help you. When life gets to be a bit too much for you, shift your focus onto what you can control.

Many times, you get frustrated because your boss made you stay late for work. Or maybe traffic is backed up for the third time this week and you’re late for an appointment. These experiences don’t have to be frustrating.

Rather, simply admit to yourself that these situations are out of your control.

Relinquishing control to situations in which you have no control is one of the best things you can do. This step alone can vastly improve your mental toughness. Why? Because you don’t let things that you can’t control get to you.

When you focus on what you can control, you’ll find your mental strength will grow.


6. Measure Your Daily Wins

Small victories are much bigger than they may seem. In fact, daily victories can even be applied to your workplace. It’s been proven that small victories in business are some of the best ways to inspire creativity and confidence.

The power of the daily win results from the sense of progression humans rely on.

Known as the “progress principle,” the principle states that workers most value progression in their place of employment. They are more motivated to complete their tasks when they feel they’re working towards something. The same can be found in everyday life.

If you’re having a bad day, just getting out of bed may be a small win for you. If so, then treat it like one. Celebrate! Is your goal to socialize more? Just getting outside and saying “hi” to your neighbor may be your small victory.

Either way, you need small wins to feel a sense of progression. And this progression helps you build confidence, too. Naturally, more confidence will lead to better mental strength. You believe in yourself — thus, you don’t let many things bother you.


7. Reflect on Your Daily Progress

At the end of the day, look back on what you’ve done, how you did it and whether or not you reached your goal. This process of self-reflection helps you recognize both areas for improvement and your strengths.

Not only will this self-reflection show you your strengths, but you’ll also be able to see how you’ve grown. Reflecting is similar, in many ways, to measuring your daily wins.

Building your mental strength takes focus and dedication, but it’s worth it. And the best time to start building this mental strength is right now. Go out and take back your life!


Summary

Here’s a quick breakdown of this article on becoming mentally strong:
Be consistent
Positivity over anxiety
Experience new things
Evaluate your core beliefs
Focus on what you can control
Measure your daily wins
Reflect on your daily progress
Are you interested in becoming mentally strong? Leave a comment below.

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How to Approach Tasks You Really Hate Doing & Win

Everyone needs to do things they hate from time to time.

It might be anything from basic chores to a dull part of an otherwise interesting project. Those who get things finished know how to push through the tasks they hate in order to work on what they love.

Nobody is immune to procrastination, and even the most hardworking people around have their weak moments. While procrastination happens occasionally with neutral tasks, it’s a common problem people go through when facing things they really hate doing.


How to Approach Tasks You Hate Doing

Here are 9 strategies to help you find the motivation for doing tasks you hate and win every time you push them to completion.

1. Create a To-do List & Tackle Your Hardest Tasks First

To-do lists are the single best solution for making sense of your work and daily life.

Organization and scheduling is much easier if you’ve got a daily, weekly, or monthly to-do list as your point of reference.

Most of the time, you’ll spot your least favorite tasks at the very bottom of your to-do list. The trick to getting these done is simply moving them to the top.

This way you’ll gain a boost of motivation when thinking about more pleasant things that come right after the hard part.

Moreover, after completing your hardest tasks, everything else will look very easy in comparison. In other words, your to-do list will become a downhill ride.


2. Give Your Tasks More Depth

Boring tasks are annoying because they’re very narrow and don’t allow you to be creative.

A good solution to this problem is giving your task more depth. This is how you’ll make it more interesting and become focused on the task, consequently completing it faster than ever before.


CONSIDER YOUR ACTIVITY AS AN ART FORM THAT DESERVES TO BE MASTERED.

Instead of seeing it as an on-off kind of task, look at the potential ways in which you could achieve more in less time. Take small steps to make the task more enjoyable and always look for smart ways to optimize it.

3. Measure Time Spent on Various Tasks

One of the best methods to stop wasting time is to start measuring it. Record how many hours you spend on various activities during your day and put them all into a chart.

Every time you look at this chart, you’ll want to keep it moving in the right direction. That’s how you get a powerful motivation boost for your work. If you procrastinate, you’ll see its consequences right in front of you.

If you’re facing a series of things you absolutely need to do but don’t enjoy, create a chart to keep track of the time you spend on working towards their completion. This anti-procrastination technique is excellent if you’re having a bad week and can’t find the motivation for tackling the hardest or dullest tasks in your schedule.


4. Come up With Another Goal

Transforming an awful task into something pleasant isn’t always an option. But you still need to get it done. This is where you can use your objectives as effective leverage.

Instead of despairing over your activity, try to think about it in broader terms. How does it relate to your final objective? What is its meaning for your bigger picture of success?

This perspective will help you to see the task in a different light and get a motivation boost when you realize that it’s necessary for reaching your final goal.

Remind yourself of this goal once in a while to push through the things that you don’t find that exciting.


5. Set a Timer

If you need to complete a short mindless task, set a timer to ensure that you get it done as quickly as possible.

Create a specific window of time and you’ll be challenged to keep your focus throughout the activity. This way you’ll also get to more pleasant tasks sooner.

6. Make the Most Out of Your Time

Sometimes the most boring tasks are those which involve waiting, driving around, or mindless repetition of the same activity. Use this time to do something meaningful

If you’re stuck in traffic, listen to calming music or audio-books. If you’re waiting for an appointment, read a book or meditate. Listen to an interesting podcast while folding your laundry.

You can actively prevent this time from going to waste by adopting these habits that allow to live a fuller and more mindful life.


7. Focus on Your Task

If you think that getting over with a task as quickly as possible is a measure against procrastination, you’re making a huge mistake. This kind of attitude actually prevents people from getting started at all.

One way to stomach the unpleasant activity is to simply focus on it. Sometimes intense focus can help you start loving tasks you previously hated.


COMMIT TO THIS ACTIVITY AND INVEST ALL YOUR ENERGY TO CONCENTRATE ON IT.

Instead of thinking about all things you could be doing instead of this one, focus and do your best to complete it as efficiently as you can. Who knows, maybe you’ll start enjoying it in the process?


8. Break it Into Smaller Parts

Getting started is where things get difficult. We generally like to avoid tasks we hate for as long as possible. When we finally get started, we might get stuck for ages.

That’s why the key to boosting productivity lies in making it easier to get started. If an activity looks intimidating, you should break it into smaller components and commit to every single one of them.

If you’re a writer, set yourself a goal of one paragraph a day. This will make your task seem less daunting and give you motivation to complete the job once you stop actively avoiding it.


9. Delegate Tasks You Hate to Other People

Look around and you’ll inevitably find people in your life who could help you with these activities. If you build an image of yourself as too capable, others might easily start taking advantage of your ability and willingness to work on such tasks.

If you can’t find anyone to whom you could delegate your tasks, why not hire somebody to do them for you? Sure, it’s not a solution that will work for every kind of activity, but if the tasks in question can be outsourced, and you can afford it – just go for it.

This is especially valuable for managing tasks which are time-consuming. Just think of all the time you’ll gain to spend on other, more profitable or enjoyable activities. Plus, by hiring someone you’ll be helping them out as well.


Summary

Use these strategies and you’ll be on your way to getting more work done, consequently gaining more time for rest and doing things you really love.

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Essence of Self Confidence

Have you ever observed how people pay more attention to what things look like than what purpose these things actually exist for? For example, there are two bars of the same chocolate in two different boxes. The other is covered in beautiful and shiny paper. The latter is placed in a plain box on top a hidden shelf. Obviously, you know which one will get picked by people who pass by, even though the contents are the same. Believe it or not, this is the very same case when it comes to people and confidence. In fact, it happens to people every second of the day, every day of the year. Whenever people mingle, there's just no room for the absence of assessment. Although there are a few people on earth who do not mind what their peers think of, chances are there are billions more who actually care and get terribly affected by negative remarks. The sad part is that most of these people are often misjudged due to how they look, act and other shallow standards. From never looking anyone straight in the eye, excessively fumbling and even murmuring instead if talking... all these barriers to personal growth are actually manifestations of low self esteem.

You see, having self confidence is the trigger which pulls off every positive aspect of life. It is the overall aura you exude for people to notice you. It is the element which lessens other people's doubts about what you are actually worth. This is the element you often see in models when they strut on the catwalk. This is the silencing power you sense in CEO's. It is the soundless air you feel whenever you meet someone which leaves you impressed for no apparent reason at all.

High levels of self-confidence give anyone, including you, more potential to do what has to be done in order to achieve your dreams and ambitions. Professionally, you can use confidence to take your career a notch higher than where it usually is. When you look confident, people will stop looking at you as a fumbling fool. They will get interested in what you are capable of doing. As such, you can seize every opportunity to exert extra effort so that you can show how good you are at your field. Your confidence will assure you of an audience. Your peers and bosses will watch in anticipation as they try to see what you can accomplish. After that, appreciation will follow and you are almost set for the next big step.

Even your personal life is highly affected by confidence. When it comes to relationships, confident people always seem to establish steady emotional bonds with ease and resilience. Confidence is often equated to honesty. It's a character only people who have nothing to hide can truly possess. As you might have observed, people love the absence of pretense. When you're confident, you are actually giving yourself a chance to be what it is no matter how lame it may be according to the world. With this kind of attitude, it will be just a matter of time before you meet people who share common passions with you. By utilizing confidence you can establish these similarities without awkwardness, thus strengthening your personal ties with people.

Most importantly, a steady sense of self confidence can make you feel better as an individual. With it, you can love yourself for who you really are. You can sleep at night knowing the positive and negative aspects of your life, thus giving yourself a chance to make things right. Without insecurity, you can look every problem straight in the eye. You will never have to flee from belittling remarks and violent reactions simply because you believe and know what you are truly capable of. This is the power only pure non amalgamated confidence can make you possess.

Ways to Give Your Self-Confidence a Quick Boost

1. Stay Prepared

No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and act like you know it's going to be a good day. Why is this one of the best confidence boosters? Because you can be sure that when you are prepared for success, it will find you.

2. Order Dessert

This one here is not so much a question of putting your complex carbohydrates before your protein; it's more about doing something that goes against the "norm". Besides the quick boost you'll get from the sugars, breaking some of life's little rules can be quite liberating and can nurture your fearless inner diva.

3. Check Yourself

Checking in with your thoughts and feelings about yourself may be one of the single most important things you can do throughout the day. Most of us tend to be our own worst critics. Left unchecked, that persistently annoying voice that tells us we aren't doing enough or we aren't good enough, will only grow louder and eventually dominate our thoughts.

4. Value Yourself

Because from one fabulous lady to another, paying a deserving compliment goes a long way toward making us feel better about ourselves and unfortunately, we don't do it enough. Contrary to popular belief, criticizing others actually does not make us feel better. Showing that you genuinely appreciate the excellence in another, not only demonstrates the value of your own self worth, but it can be motivation to look around for things that are positive.






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6 Ways To Eliminate Distraction, Find Focus and Get More Done

We live in a world of distraction.

From the constant buzz of incoming text message alerts through to ceaseless chatter and noise in the office, it can be hard at the best of times to concentrate and get work done.

Think about your daily routine – do you ever find yourself:
Feeling distracted from your work?
Struggling to find focus?
Procrastinating important tasks?
Not getting as much done as you would like?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then you need to keep reading.

In this article I’m going to teach you six of the most effective ways to eliminate distraction, find your focus and get more done by beating procrastination.

Whether you’re a student struggling to concentrate on your studies, an office worker needing to get more done to keep your boss off your back, or an entrepreneur whose very business survival is dependent on, you will get value from this article.


Use Website Blocking Software to Free Dozens of Hours Each Week

How much time do you think you waste on Facebook, Twitter or other social networking websites?

According to a 2013 Ipsos study, we spend an average of 3.6 hours a day getting social online.This figure doesn’t even include the use of other websites such as online stores or message boards.

My point should already be obvious – if you are wasting precious time every day on social media or other specific websites, then you need to do something about it. Otherwise you are simply throwing time down the drain, which you can never get back.

The easiest solution is to deploy a site-blocking tool (I use StayFocusd for Google Chrome) that allows you to set up a blacklist of websites that unnecessarily consume what would otherwise be productive time.

There are different solutions depending what browser, operating system or device type you use. However, any solution that allows you to create a list of sites and a maximum daily time limit for them (before you are blocked until the next day) will work fine.

All that is left is for you to identify the sites that waste your time, and then add them to the list. It pays to be honest here; don’t leave a site off the blacklist if you do have a problem with using it to waste time.

Think about the productivity and future benefit you can generate by using your “social media time” in a more effective manner.

Here’s a personal anecdote to show you the value of diverting focus from time-wasting websites to other tasks: A few years ago I was spending at least two hours a day on Facebook.

This meant that every week I was losing 14 hours scouring albums of friends’ party photos, and clicking pointless cat video links. This was time I could never claim back. I decided that something had to be done and blocked myself from visiting Facebook for more 30 minutes a day using a site blocking browser tool.

This extra 1.5 hours I now had in my day was put to productive use. I started a blog (about overcoming laziness and procrastination, funnily enough) which has continued to pay dividends ever since.

It now earns me some handy extra money every month, which I can put towards paying bills or keeping myself in guitar equipment. The blog also serves as a fantastic channel for my “creative energy”, which keeps me feeling positive and energetic.

Had I not banished that 90 minutes of daily Facebook browsing, I would never have had enough time to create my blog (although I would have been a mastermind on cat videos!)


Interval-Only Phone Checking to Enhance Focus & Beat Procrastination

Search around your desk or workspace for your mobile phone. Is it within arms’ reach? Chances are it most likely is!

Cell phone addiction 21st Century affliction, in which we find ourselves constantly checking our phones for the latest text message or missed call.

Unfortunately, this is disastrous for productivity. Constantly checking your phone for missed texts or calls will distract you from productive work, and encourage hours of needless procrastination on a weekly basis.

The best solution I have discovered is to be absolutely ruthless with allowing yourself an opportunity to check your phone only at set intervals.

When I need to get work done I will only check my phone once every thirty minutes. If there are no messages or missed calls, then I put it down immediately and get back to work. During this “phone free time” I actually place the device in a draw, so it is out of sight and out of mind.

By keeping your phone checking to a regular schedule you are less likely to become distracted by the oh-so-addictive nature of text messaging and mobile browsing!



Write a Daily To-Do List to Guide You to Productivity and Action

I’m a firm believer in to-do lists as being one of the most effective ways to help you find focus and prevent distraction from taking hold.

You should enter every new day armed with a comprehensive checklist of tasks you want to complete.

These tasks can encompass work-related items, such as completing an important report or filling out your expenses through to everyday tasks like fetching groceries or arranging a service for your car.

Before you go to bed each night, you should create a to-do list for the following day. Leave some time free for tasks or duties that pop up unexpectedly (such as when you get to work and your boss tells you that you have to drop everything and do something urgently) but nonetheless be as detailed and as comprehensive as possible.

A to-do list that has been well thought out will help you to overcome procrastination, as it challenges you to ensure that every item is completed in time.

Make it a personal credo to never get to the end of the day without having finished all the tasks on your list.

The amount of extra work you will get done by following this strategy will astound you.


Use Noise-Canceling Headphones to Prevent Distraction & Improve Mental Clarity

This is one of my “secret” strategies for eliminating distraction, especially in an office or college library environment.

I’m sure you don’t need reminding how frustrating it can be when people come up to your desk or workspace when you are supposed to be working, and then distract you from getting stuff done.

The solution is simple: You need to create the impression that you are hard at work.

As a rule, most people are loath to interrupt others who appear fixed deeply in a state of productivity.

By wearing headphones while you work, you are sending a strong message to your co-workers that you are doing important work, and you should therefore not be interrupted.

I recommend noise-canceling headphones because they also provide the benefit of blocking out distracting noises, such as others talking around you, and help you to establish a mental sanctuary from which you can elevate your focus and drive.

Take a look in your local electronics store (or online) and find a pair that suits your budget. If you want to eliminate distractions and get more work done, then you cannot afford to ignore this method.


Discourage Unnecessary Face-to-Face Interactions with Colleagues to Minimize the Risk of Distraction

If you find yourself in an environment where the headphones trick wont work (e.g. your office has a policy against allowing employees to wear them) then you need to be a bit more overt when it comes to telling others not to distract you.

In any place that values productivity and effective work, you should not have to feel bad about asking those around you to refrain from disturbing you.

In a few different offices I’ve worked in, I asked my managers whether they had any problem with me sending a friendly group email to my colleagues asking if they wouldn’t mind emailing me first with any requests before coming to see me in person.

The benefit of this strategy is immense: It allows you to “screen” for pointless distractions before they invade your personal space bubble.

The annoying co-worker who was about to come and divert your attention away … just to tell you spoilers from the new Game of Thrones episode? Now he either has to email you first (and how likely are you to give him permission to distract you?) or more likely he will just not bother at all.

Another tactic worth using is to put up a do not disturb sign, during times when you really are pressed to get lots done. This will help you to prevent distraction by discouraging others from interrupting your important work.

If you’ve ever read The 4 Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss, then you’ll probably recall that he was a big fan of creating a working environment where you control other peoples’ access to your time and focus.

I support this idea too; and by politely requesting that your colleagues (and even friends and family) avoid “unsolicited” attempts to pull you away from your work during the times you need to be productive, you’ll soon develop much better focus and grow a productivity mindset.


De-Clutter Your Workspace to Create an Environment That Promotes Taking Action

Visual clutter is highly distracting for most people. It provides an avenue for diverting full attention to the work you need to complete.

Therefore, one of the most effective strategies you can deploy to enhance your focus and prevent distraction is to reduce that clutter.

I suggest starting with your physical surroundings. If your desk looks more like a battleground than a cohesive workspace, then you need to start tidying in a ruthless manner.

If you’re working in front of a computer, then try de-cluttering to the point where you only have your screen, keyboard, and mouse in front of you.

Invest in some drawers (if your desk doesn’t already have them) and put other items, such as notepads and pens, in there – keeping them out of sight and unable to distract you, but still within arms’ reach if you need them.

Another thing to consider is removing clutter from your computer itself.

A computer desktop that is littered with icons and folders does not make for a streamlined or efficient workspace, where you can easily take action and get work done.

Arrange your documents using a precise folder system, and try to keep visual clutter to a minimum. Another benefit of this is that you’ll be able to use your computer more efficiently – you’ll find it easier to locate important documents and files.

While I’m on this subject, a true distraction demon that you need to avoid where possible is tabbed browsing. As computers and smart devices have become ever more powerful, the ability for us to have loads of browser tabs, windows, and programs open at once has grown dramatically.

While more powerful computing is a great thing, it also has its downsides for those of us who struggle with distraction and wasting time online: Tabbed browsing and multiple programs make it too easy to flick from work to play.

Your brain simply cannot process all that information as once; so stick to having a couple of tabs/windows/programs open at once. Your favorite online shopping site isn’t going to disappear if you no longer have it open every time you hit the Internet!


Conclusion

You don’t need to be a slave to distraction, lack of focus, and inaction.

By deploying the strategies you have learned in this article, you’ll be able to develop hawk-like focus, and kick procrastination to the curb.

I’ve armed you with the tools … now get out there and finish the job! The benefits you’ll see in everyday life that accompany better focus and motivation will last you a whole lifetime.

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4 Steps That Will Turn Your Problems into a Guide For Success

It’s way too easy to get caught up in your problems. It starts out with something small, a tiny hint that you’re not entirely happy with how things have turned out. It’s a loose thread on the shoulder of your sweater. The more you pick at it, the longer it seems to become. One problem leads to another, the issues start to pile up, until it feels like you’re in over your head. Before you know it, you’ve picked at that little thread so much your whole sweater has fallen to pieces and you’re standing in the middle of a pile of yarn.

When you’re in a bad place, or you feel you’ve been dealt a bad hand, it’s only natural to start looking for reasons. And when we find out what the problem is, our natural instinct is to start digging deeper and deeper into that problem, only focusing on the negatives, until we convince ourselves that the whole situation is hopeless and entirely out of our control.


But that doesn’t need to be the case!

About a year ago, that’s how I felt about my life, too. Although I had a lot going for me, I was drastically unhappy with where my life seemed to be going. At the time, I was working a government job in rural Japan. It was a job that I hated, that left me sitting at my desk for hours on end, and didn’t give me the freedom to use my time constructively. I felt as though I wasn’t really able to contribute at all.

It was hard to see a solution. I had spent so much energy just getting this job in the first place, to find that I now hated it made me feel like I was trapped. It seemed like I was going to be stuck there forever.



Yet now I live in Kyoto, in a two storey house with a personal office. I wake up every day motivated and exited. I work at a start-up I created with my friends, I recently published my first novel, and I’m earning income that’s comparable to what I was earning before. Most importantly, I’m happy.

Even though it might sound counter-intuitive, I didn’t arrive here by moving past my problems. I got here by getting deeper involved with them, and using them to guide me towards the life I wanted to live.

Intuitively, people don’t like dealing with problems, and that’s entirely understandable: Our problems are never pleasant. They’re usually things that we want to get farther away from.

And yet the truth is that if we do the opposite, we have a much greater chance of finding happiness. All it requires is a little self honesty.

It’s not easy to do, but if you are willing to approach your problems using the following steps, you’ll be amazed at how quickly your life starts to change.



1. Take ownership of your problems

When we’re talking about problems that relate to our own lives, it’s common to project externally. Especially when it’s a problem where we are in some way to blame. Rather than take responsibility, we tend to attach the problem to an external force. Our job, the government, bad luck.

The problem with doing this is that those are all things that we can’t do anything about.

When I was working my old job, I spent a lot of time grumbling about the Japanese way of doing things. Because it was so different from my last government job in Australia, I managed to convince myself that’s why I was unhappy. In reality, the real problem had nothing to do with that at all. When I reflected on exactly why I wasn’t enjoying my day to day work life, I realised it was because I wasn’t finding enough challenges. That was on me. If I wanted to, I could have changed how I approached my work to make it more challenging, but instead I blamed it on something else.

2. Understand the real problem.

A lot of them time people get distracted by what looks like it hurts, even though the real pain is coming from somewhere else. In life, we tend to pay more attention to how we are affected by our problems rather than what’s causing them in the first place.

However, if you’re only ever fixing the side effects, you’ll never deal with the real issue, and those side effects will, sooner or later, show up again.

In my case, I realised that it wasn’t so much that I wasn’t finding enough challenges, so much as I just wasn’t really interested in the field to begin with. I’m sure I could have done any number of things to make the job more challenging, but it wouldn’t have addressed the issue that I didn’t have an interest in the type of work I was doing.

3. Take stock of what you can change

There are exactly two types of problems: those you can fix, and those you can’t. And it’s natural that the ones that you can’t do anything about are usually the big ones. Unfortunately, it also often feels like those are the real problems, and the little ones are things we can ignore.

And so we frustrate ourselves by focusing only on the big problems we can’t immediately change.

But just because a problem is unsolvable now doesn’t mean that it won’t be unsolvable in the future.

In fact, it’s very often the case that by focusing on the problems you can solve, the problems that used to seem too big to approach will either become more manageable, or stop being problems altogether.

When I decided I didn’t like the field I was in, I realised I needed to find a new job. But just trying to approach that on its own was way too much. So rather than trying to approach the issue as one big hurdle, I started looking at what I could do.

In my case, the one thing I could start doing immediately was save money. I knew that sooner or later if I wanted to get into a new career I’d have to leave my job, which meant there would probably be a time where there was no money coming in at all. To get myself past that, I started putting money away.

The more money I had saved up, the smaller the problem of quitting my job seemed to become, until it was almost trivial.

4. Start small, and gradually get larger

When you feel like you’re in a rut, showing yourself that you can make a change is more important than the change itself. When people start to actively take steps to overcome their problems, often they’ve been in a position of disempowerment for so long they feel like doing anything at all is impossible.

When I started saving money, it was only a little at a time. Barely a trickle, barely enough to hurt. But it was something. And it was empowering knowing that I was actually taking steps towards getting control of my life. That sense of empowerment allowed me to start saving larger chunks of money at a time. It helped me to feel more aware of, and in control of my finances, and that allowed me to feel confident enough to tackle problems which originally had just seemed like just way too hard.

Let your problems guide you

When I first started looking critically at my own life, all I could see were barriers between me and being happy. If I had just left it at that, then I might never have left that place. But because I chose to engage critically and honestly with my problems, it showed me exactly which steps I needed to take in order to achieve success.

If you want to push your life in the direction it was meant to go, the most important thing you can do is never mistake your problems as the cause for your unhappiness. You’re only ever really unhappy when you have problems and you don’t do anything about them.

Instead of the road blocks between you and where you want to go, think of your problems as the sign posts that exist in your life to start showing you the way forward.

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