7 Reasons to Be Careful When Choosing Friends & How to Do So

The following goes without saying;

THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU SURROUND YOURSELF HAVE A GREAT IMPACT ON WHO YOU BECOME IN LIFE.

The opinions of your friends are often more important than those of other people, even your family members. That’s why it’s in your interest to choose your friends wisely. They can be the reason why you succeed or fail in achieving your life goals.

7 Reasons to Be Careful Choosing Friends

Here are 7 reasons why you should be careful when choosing friends and how to enjoy long-lasting friendships that add plenty of value to your life.


1. Your friends have a great influence over you

When it comes to your emotions and moods, the influence of your friends is unparalleled.

If you’re spending a great time with your friends, your mood is bound to improve. If their remarks make you feel bad, your mood will inevitably decline.

A research study published in 2014 demonstrated that friends tend to bond when providing one another with moral support intended to resist a temptation. Still, sometimes friends would become partners in crime when it came to indulging together.

Friends help bring out the best in you, there’s no doubt about it. But they can easily influence you in a way that might pose a problem to other areas of your life.

That’s why it should be your objective to find people that make you feel good. If you surround yourself with negative people, you stand no chance at being happy thanks to these relationships. Cut out the negative friends from your life and you’ll instantly feel better.

2. You’ll grow with strong-willed friends


If you surround yourself with people who are very self-disciplined, you’re bound to become more immune to the various temptations that prevent you from staying on track.

Research shows that when people can’t quite manage to control their schedules, they often look for help among the self-disciplined people in their lives. Nothing gives a boost to your willpower like a strong-willed friend.

You need self-control in order to reach your long-term goals. That’s why you should avoid befriending people who aren’t strong willed and instead choose those who have a lot of willpower. That’s the secret to maintaining healthy habits and paving the road to success.


3. They help build you up for success
When a friend encourages you, you’ll feel as if you could achieve just about anything in the world. Friends are the people having your back as you push forward toward your goal by offering plenty of positive reinforcement.

With the support of your friends, you’ll have a greater chance at succeeding. That’s why choosing the wrong friends is so dangerous to your success. Instead of encouraging you, they’re more likely to put your down.

Avoid people who don’t respect your choices or constantly express skepticism about your ideas. Real friends will always support you, no matter how crazy your idea is and will only withdraw their support when they believe that you might do yourself harm.


4. Wrong friends can cause you to be counter-productive

A toxic friend is a serious threat to your success.

A friend who constantly makes negative comments about your goals and dreams will only distract your from them. In the end, you’ll have to work harder towards achieving your objectives.

If you think that you’ll fail, the chances are high that you will. And if a friend brings you down, you’re in for trouble.

Spot any friends who are happy to sit back and provide a fresh dose of criticism every time you two meet? Avoid them for your own good, don’t expect them to say anything nice to you.


5. Close friends are the secret to living a long and happy life

According to a study from by Australia’s Flinder’s University, adults who have close friends are likely to live longer. Researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends would outlive their counterparts by 22%.

Friendship is healthy. And you should definitely seek out the company of other people.

But be careful while doing that. You don’t want to end up with a friend who instead of making you healthy and balanced makes you nervous and unhappy. Friends are supposed to contribute to your well-being – and research shows that they can do that in a significant way.

That’s why you should be wise to choose friends who genuinely care about you. If you feel good at the mere thought of meeting them, it’s a sign they could be one of these friends who boost your longevity.


6. Friends can inspire you
Having someone around who is genuinely interested in what you’re doing is quite amazing.

Your friends should cheer for you and be invested in your life (naturally, this type of engagement goes both ways). It’s important that they’re like this, because the opinion of your friends will matter to you.

Every time they make an effort to take an interest in your life, it gives you an extra boost of support. Friends can inspire you to work harder towards achieving your goal, or make sure that you’re sticking to your resolutions.

If your friends aren’t doing any of that, they’re not real friends. They simply don’t care about your path and don’t want to be part of your journey towards success.


7. Friends can can serve as an example for you

Choosing great friends is beneficial if you need a push to start doing something on your own. Friends easily serve as examples, providing your with plenty of motivation to achieve your goals.

When you see how happy your friends are when pursuing their objectives, you’ll want to follow suit and be productive as well. Their good behaviors will rub off on you.

However, if your friends do nothing but drink beer and watch television, you’re more likely to join them and spend your time on the couch just to keep them company. Their habits will inevitably influence your habits and before you know it, you’ll become a couch potato too.

That’s why you should be wise when choosing who to befriend. Pick a friend with good habits, and their presence is bound to make your life more exciting.
Summary

Surrounding yourself with people who are like you and want to achieve something in of their life is critical.

Great friends will motivate you and support your dreams. That’s why you should value your existing friendships and handle new ones with care.

These 7 reasons should make it clear why it’s worth to be careful when choosing friends to accompany you throughout your life.
Has this article helped you to choose your friends more wisely? Leave a comment below.

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What Are the Key Traits of Mentally Strong People?

For past few years, I have devoted each and every day of my life to reach closer to the below mentioned goals, which I think are the core aspect of being mentally strong.
Be like the Joker.

Do you remember Heath Ledger or Jack Nicholson playing the role of this iconic villain. His sole aim in life was to create anarchy and spread chaos. The key word here is SOLE. Monomaniacal, bloody minded, ruthless focus on a solitary goal is often the single most important quality of mentally strong people.
Focus on basics first and only then details.

 

A person was caught after many years of successful robberies and theft. When asked why was he so successful in committing these crimes, he replied, ’I always go where the money is.’ Mentally tough people stay focused on developing the essential skills. Never drifting aloof or beating around the bush. But coming directly to the point. No point in learning about how many years ago did frogs arrive on earth, if you don’t know the definition of evolution. Got what I am saying?
Don’t control what you can’t.

They never waste time, energy and resources in factors which are simply beyond their control or are extremely unpredictable.
Rejoicing success of others

Getting motivated from success of other people, without any resentment or hatred. They constantly learn from such events, in turn increasing their probability of being successful.
Embracing solitude.

Enjoying one’s company. Never fearing being left alone by everyone else. Though they may be alone, they are never lonely.
Vicarious learning.

Learning from mistakes of others, facing similar circumstances. You won’t live long enough to make all the mistakes by yourself nor can you afford to make the same mistakes again and again. So, learn from as many sources as possible and learn fast.
No dwelling on the glorious (or pathetic) past and never afraid of CHANGE.

Remember Ganguly before retirement or Yuvraj, Sehwag in current IPL. Their selection was solely based on their past records. Such reputation doesn’t mean anything to mentally strong people. Aussies success of playing 7/11 World Cup finals, is the result of their sheer mental strength and respect for current form and not past reputation.
Always in control.

Having all the power with themselves, without devolving it to anyone else. Means that being in charge all the time. And not being made vulnerable by others.
Delayed gratification: Doing the hard thing, without expecting immediate success.

They are also faced by multiple alternatives, which give them instantaneous pleasure and a kick of hedonism. But they constantly fight against this urge to give in, and they keep pushing forward.
Maximum overlap between reality and perception of reality.

Neither being pessimistic nor optimistic. Always being pragmatist and realist. It is very easy to be carried away by what ought to be than what is. Knowing what is real, how our world actually works and aligning your thought process with that, is a hallmark of being mentally strong.

I missed so many qualities as it was specifically asked to mention 10. Please comment below what you think are essential ingredients of being a mentally strong individual. Will compile all of them and share it on numerous social media platforms.

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How To Use Positive Re-framing To Turn Things Around

When it comes to being positive and optimistic, it's easy to be reminded of the old adage of whether you see the glass as half empty or half full. This cliché is used more often or not to show how the same situation may be looked at either positively or negatively.

One tool that is often used to help people begin to think more positively or to become more optimistic is called positive re-framing.

Re-framing basically means that you take a situation that could be deemed negative and turning that experience into one that is a more objective, positive and empowering manner.

There are plenty of examples of how you can use positive re-framing.

Let's say that you are working at a new job and you want to make a good impression.

However, on your first day you send out an email that is only supposed to go to your supervisor, but instead it is sent to all of your co-workers. This email happens to contain some personal information about your current financial situation and is rather embarrassing.

So what can you do about this blunder? There are several ways that you can handle this situation.

A positive way to handle it is to turn this stupid mistake into a joke, perhaps replying to the email stating that at least it wasn't a naked picture or an adult website link. This response will likely make your co-workers laugh and have a more positive, funny, intelligent impression of you.

The other option is to become embarrassed, too apologetic or to avoid contact entirely. This overreaction will likely lead to a negative impression from co-workers because you've taken things too seriously and have made the work environment not as light and friendly.

When considering positive re-framing, it is important to note that it does not change what had actually happened. In the above example you cannot change the fact that you sent out personal information to your new co-workers.

While the situation cannot be changed, the way that you respond to the situation can be changed.

Using humor is a wonderful way to diffuse tension and make a difference in a situation that could otherwise be difficult, awkward and self-sabotaging.

All in all, optimistic people tend to look for the good in all things.

It is crucial to remind yourself that bad things are going to inevitably happen in your life. Positive re-framing is a fantastic way to make things a lot better when something embarrassing or bad comes up.

Take the time to look at all situations carefully and determine how you can re-frame the situation to make it more optimistic, fun and interesting. This will definitely make a huge improvement in the quality of your life.

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7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

You have to get to work. You haven’t had a full night’s sleep in months. Life can sometimes be overwhelming. And it seems you can do nothing about it.

A solution does exist, though… It’s called mental strength.

7 Key Stages to Becoming Mentally Strong

Mental strength can’t be seen physically. Rather, it’s a concept. An idea that you can get through anything. You can persevere. But how do you build it? How do you turn your scared mind into a place of confidence and peace?

Here are 7 key stages to becoming mentally strong:


1. Be Consistent

To begin with, consistency is one of the keys to victory in almost any aspect of life.

You go to the gym to tone up. That’s fine and Dandy, but most people quit after two weeks. The consistency isn’t there. You won’t see the progress if you only work out when you feel like it. You have to be vigilant.

Are you working on a novel? Maybe you’re trying to learn a new language. Or, maybe you’re just trying to get through the day. If you’re consistent with growing as a person and continuously working toward your goal, you’ll eventually reach it.


2. Positivity over Anxiety

Have you ever felt guilty for feeling like you’re not getting anything done while everyone else seem to be powering through their goals? This type of guilt is what leads to self-loathing and anxious tendencies.

This is where positive thinking comes in. Positive thinking may seem like a joke, but science backs it up.

Research has shown that positive thinking is a real skill, with real consequences. Positive emotions and thoughts affect both your physical and your mental perception of the world.

It’s more than just being happy all the time – it’s about being confident and having a healthy self-esteem.

With busy schedules and our high drive to succeed, some of us experience anxiety on a daily basis. Anxiety brings emotional and physical symptoms like restlessness or irritability, insomnia, headaches, and fatigue – symptoms a lot of us accept as normal.


TO DEAL WITH THIS ANXIETY, POSITIVE THINKING CAN HELP. BUT POSITIVE THINKING ISN’T “BEING HAPPY ALL THE TIME.” RATHER, IT’S A WAY OF THINKING AND BELIEVING WHEN THINGS GO WRONG.


Psychologists say that the most effective way to eliminate your anxiety is by learning how to change your thoughts and think with more positive energy.

Challenging these negative thoughts by focusing on what is rational, the positive, the beautiful and the pleasant helps you move forward in the right direction.

Life is going to hit you with unexpected events and circumstances. If you’re going to be mentally strong, it’s important to always keep a positive spin on things.


3. Experience New Things

You have something called a “comfort zone.”

It’s the place where you feel the safest. It may be a physical space (such as your room) or a more metaphorical place (such as the state of your life). While living in the comfort zone is nice, it doesn’t do a whole lot to help you grow.

In order to grow and learn, you need to experience different things in life. Start out small.

Take a different route to work. Order something from your favorite restaurant that you’ve never ordered before. Or ask that person out that you’ve always wanted to ask. You’ll be surprised at how much this can impact you in a positive way.

More importantly, these new experiences will show you that new experiences aren’t so scary, and that you can do it.

4. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

In order to build your mental toughness, it’s important to know why you do what you do. Thinking about your core beliefs not only serves as motivation, but it also helps you establish yourself.

Who are you? What drives you? Knowing who you truly are assists you in establishing your mental toughness. It’s a lot easier to fight for your values when you actually believe in them.


5. Focus on What You Can Control

So many times, you lose focus on life. You get distracted and stressed. While getting rid of stress and distractions is impossible, there’s a strategy that can help you. When life gets to be a bit too much for you, shift your focus onto what you can control.

Many times, you get frustrated because your boss made you stay late for work. Or maybe traffic is backed up for the third time this week and you’re late for an appointment. These experiences don’t have to be frustrating.

Rather, simply admit to yourself that these situations are out of your control.

Relinquishing control to situations in which you have no control is one of the best things you can do. This step alone can vastly improve your mental toughness. Why? Because you don’t let things that you can’t control get to you.

When you focus on what you can control, you’ll find your mental strength will grow.


6. Measure Your Daily Wins

Small victories are much bigger than they may seem. In fact, daily victories can even be applied to your workplace. It’s been proven that small victories in business are some of the best ways to inspire creativity and confidence.

The power of the daily win results from the sense of progression humans rely on.

Known as the “progress principle,” the principle states that workers most value progression in their place of employment. They are more motivated to complete their tasks when they feel they’re working towards something. The same can be found in everyday life.

If you’re having a bad day, just getting out of bed may be a small win for you. If so, then treat it like one. Celebrate! Is your goal to socialize more? Just getting outside and saying “hi” to your neighbor may be your small victory.

Either way, you need small wins to feel a sense of progression. And this progression helps you build confidence, too. Naturally, more confidence will lead to better mental strength. You believe in yourself — thus, you don’t let many things bother you.


7. Reflect on Your Daily Progress

At the end of the day, look back on what you’ve done, how you did it and whether or not you reached your goal. This process of self-reflection helps you recognize both areas for improvement and your strengths.

Not only will this self-reflection show you your strengths, but you’ll also be able to see how you’ve grown. Reflecting is similar, in many ways, to measuring your daily wins.

Building your mental strength takes focus and dedication, but it’s worth it. And the best time to start building this mental strength is right now. Go out and take back your life!


Summary

Here’s a quick breakdown of this article on becoming mentally strong:
Be consistent
Positivity over anxiety
Experience new things
Evaluate your core beliefs
Focus on what you can control
Measure your daily wins
Reflect on your daily progress
Are you interested in becoming mentally strong? Leave a comment below.

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How To Boost Your Self-Image Fast

How To Boost Your Self-Image Fast

In his bestselling book <The Psycho-Cybernetics>, Maxwell Maltz once said that, "The self-image is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior."


When you develop a positive self-image, your confidence will soar and so as your ability to handle new situations.

The best thing is that the world tends to accept the self-image you place on yourself.

When you have a strong, positive, self-believing self-image, others are going to accept that frame of mind and behave differently for you.

The first step to increasing your self-image is to know yourself.

Know thyself, Socrates intelligently said.

Not only do you need to understand your current skill levels, strengths and abilities, you also want to determine your weaknesses, disadvantages, trigger points so you can improve upon.

Never beat yourself up for discovering the ugly side of yourself. Flaws can always be turned into gifts if you work on them long enough.

Also, determine what parts about you are most crucial and urgent to change and focus all your energy on those areas.

There probably are aspects you don't concern that much and won't have significant effect on your self-image. Ignore those.

You want to concentrate all your power to change those with most leverage and impact.

And frankly, sometimes you should just accept those insignificant parts of your personality and move on to greater things.

Change is a constant. Success is change.

If you don't feel good about the current version of yourself, you must be willing to overcome the inertia of staying in the status quo and step up to take the tough challenges of changing your identity.

It's NOT going to be easy I guarantee. Our brain will do everything to sabotage your intention to change because of homeostasis. It always wants to make things as stable as possible.

But you do want to boost your self-image right? Then you must commit to taking consistent small imperfect actions to slowly shift your set point. It totally worth it.

One of the fastest ways to boost your self-image is to upgrade your style.

Yes, I am talking about upgrading how you look, how you dress and how you present yourself even BEFORE you speak and meet any people.

Upgrading your looks and outfits is a huge challenge to most of us because we are not used to seeing our sexy, handsome, beautiful selves.

So if you can afford an image consultant, hire them and let them design a better style for you.

Want to know the secrets why most celebrities are so confident?

It's because those image consultants are trained to make people look good, feel good and develop massive self-love and confidence.

It's an uncomfortable process when you dress differently, but it's the fastest way to embrace a new identity and boost your self-esteem.

Remember that elevating your self-image is a process of change.

Stop living your life based on what others believe, like or think.

Stop comparing your back stage with successful people's front stage.

Stop pleasing others and sacrificing your own happiness.

You are the only person who knows what's best for you.

It's up to you to uplift your self-image and raise the standards of the game you're playing at.

When you change, everything changes. When you improve, every aspect of your life will improve.

I look forward to a newer, better, greater version of you soon.





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How to Develop Personal Accountability

Do you confuse personal accountability with personal responsibility? We aren't born with personal accountability. It is a learned skill. Here is how to distinguish between the two terms.

Let's keep it simple, with three little words - before, during and after.
Personal Responsibility is the before of things. At this point, you are just being, not doing. Remember the metaphysical truth: Energy follows thought. So, before you spend energy for actions, in response to a situation, think. Personal responsibility is all about believing you hold the power of successful attainment within yourself.

It's all about living in the now. Things that were in the past are not present now. You are only responsible for your actions and outcomes now. Also, you are responsible for your actions, whether you succeed or fail.

During - Actions

The before of things does not indicate that you must think beforehand about what actions you will take during an event. There may not be time to pre-plan the event.

Once you familiarize yourself with your personal responsibilities, you will automatically know right actions.

After - Personal Accountability

No excuses. The buck has stopped. Personal accountability is like a ledger sheet, for your eyes only, which "accounts" for outcomes of your choices and actions. When you assume responsibility for holding yourself accountable, you will make right decisions more often, gain respect from other people and your self-confidence will grow exponentially.

Now, that you have a good working definition, let's explore several facets of personal accountability.

Truth

Truth is absolute. Something can't be "sort of" true, it either is or is not the truth. Lies don't come in colors. Black lies or white lies don't exist. Lying to yourself eclipses personal accountability. If you broke something at a dinner party or made a big blooper at work, man-up and tell the truth.

You are the Guardian of You

Whew! What a relief! Nobody knows what you did. Wrong. You know. The practice of self-accountability is like a sacred covenant. You can't do the right thing only if it is convenient. True, now that you're all grown-up, you don't have a parent, principal or preacher who admonishes you when you mess up. You are the guardian of you.

Honor Your Commitments

We all overextend ourselves from time to time. Be mindful, that typically, when people need something done, they will ask a busy person. If you constantly have too little time and too much to do, sounds like you need to learn how to say "No".

Honoring your commitments is an important facet of personal accountability. But you can't do everything for everybody; you aren't manager of the universe. Smile, and say "No" when people make unrealistic demands on your time.

Bottom Line

The rewards of personal accountability are ahh-mazing. When you take full ownership of your responsibilities and actions, you live in your truth. You stop blaming other people or complaining when things go wrong.

Getting rid of so much negativity opens up a big space for good things to begin manifesting in your life.

Isn't this a good time to become the boss of you?





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How to Be a People Person When You Aren’t

Not everyone is born a “people person”. Me included. I tend to shy away from the spotlight when there are many people around. However, I love people and am attracted to them. I find their stories fascinating and continuously learning from them to better myself.

This explains why I love interviewing inspiring people and reading biographies and memories. The deeper I know someone, either in person or virtually, the more I admire them.

In my world, everyone is a teacher. We can learn from their successes and their failures. Acknowledging them is the first path to be a “people person” in the fullest meaning of the term.

It’s common knowledge that individuals who are good with other people would enjoy privileges in connecting with, relating to, and leading others. These traits are essential for success. Both extroverts and introverts can learn these skills.

Introverts regain their energy with alone time, while extroverts gain their strength from being out there with many people. Both types are necessary for society and for human evolution. However, many people misunderstood the quieter introverts for being “weak,” while the louder extroverts are mistaken for being “strong.”

The truth is, introverts tend to think first before speaking, while extroverts do the other way around. These traits can be learned as well. For instance, introverts can learn to speak without any pause from thinking too much. Extroverts can learn to think first for one or two seconds prior to expressing verbally.

I’m an introvert and will always be. This means I think before I speak and I find alone time recharging and relaxing. I prefer not to be involved in loud group activities, but favor more quite group activities and one-on-one sessions. I genuinely love people but prefer having a small group of like-minded people with deep relationships instead of hanging out with a large group of people whom I barely know.

Susan Cain in her 2013 best-selling book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” says that there is nothing wrong being an introvert, for the primary difference between an introvert and an extrovert is their source of energy.

Realizing the need to better my skills around people, I learned the importance of the following elements when communicating. It takes time to master them and I often fall back to my own quiet way.

Just remember to keep reframing your thoughts and words whenever you’re communicating with people before retrieving into your private world. Here are 5 tips you can use to become more charismatic.

HOW TO BE A PEOPLE PERSON WHEN YOU AREN’T

FIRST, PRACTICE THE GOLDEN RULE.

To relate with others better, place yourself in the other person’s shoes. Open your heart up. Treat people like how you want to be treated. It may sound cliche, but it’s the most important principle of communication. When you invest in something good, it will return to you. When you appreciate people, they will appreciate you back.

When people don’t behave well and are negative, if we keep our positive attitude, most likely they’d change and follow our lead. For instance, if you want others to encourage you, you can start by encouraging them. This kind of positivity brings people closer and, together, you can bring the best in each other.

SECOND, HOLD NO GRUDGES AND FORGIVE RIGHT AWAY.

Forgiving others right away is a sign of strength. It’s both liberating your mind and maintaining peace at heart. For thinking introverts, who tend to ruminate a lot, grudges would create an endless cycle that doesn’t stop.

The more you think of something that’s “not right” in your eyes, the more you’d ruminate, thus the more unforgiving you are and deeper the grudge would become. Stop the vicious cycle by forgiving and letting go.

THIRD, REMOVE YOUR “EGO” TO BE SEEN “INTELLIGENT.”

Let communication flow and create a positive and friendly atmosphere. For a nerdy introvert like me, it takes time to warm up as I tend to talk about “big ideas” rather than personal activities.

You can start talking about whatever it is available in front of you at that time, such as what a fine dinner it is and how good the weather is. Start with something both of you find interesting, instead of talking about the Congress, the latest stock price for APPL, or the recent debate on Universal Basic Income.

FOURTH, SHOW INTEREST BY REALLY LISTENING TO OTHER’S STORIES.

Listen to what people are saying by showing the proof of it. Ask questions based on what they have just talked about. Make positive comments with some facial expression.

Don’t wait for your turn to talk by nodding without really listening. The more you practice this proactive listening, the better you become at understanding others. And you’ll open your heart more.

FIFTH, USE “WE” INSTEAD OF I WHENEVER POSSIBLE.

Use “we” more often than “I” and frame your message to include “we” than merely “I.” Remember that an ideal communication is a win-win, meaning both parties gain something meaningful. Small simple things, like attentive listening, appreciating their time, and reciprocity would reinforce the “we” factor.

Introverts can communicate well with others and some are even famous for it. For example, Dianne Sawyer, Julia Roberts, Abraham Lincoln, Emma Watson, Christina Aguilera, George Stephanopoulos, and Bill Gates are all introverts. We love them for who they are and we can attest that they are “people persons.”

I’ve been practicing this more open communication style with these five elements, which are both engaging and positive, for years. And I’m still learning how to make people like me more for who I am than what I know about the world. Everything takes time.

Three more tips:

One, if you’re super shy when dealing with others, imagine that you’re talking to only one person whom you truly trust, like your partner or your best friend. Trick your mind to believe it.

Two, if you become nervous, look at the wall behind the forehead of person you’re talking to. Look at the spot in between their eyes. You’re still looking at them, but slightly indirectly.

Three, be aware of your body language. Have an open body language, not squeamish or closed. Study reveals that open body language also tricks our mind to think that we’re confident and positive, as if everything goes in our favor.

At last, be brave and watch yourself grow on daily basis. Communicating the way “people person” does takes time and practice for introverts. Eventually, you’ll have the so-called “charisma” to open more doors and more opportunities.

Just take the first step.

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