Six Stress-Busters That Will Ease Your Stress At Work

Does your heart beat faster at work and you have trouble sleeping at night? Those are just a couple of symptoms for work-induced stress. Other indications of being stressed at work include headaches, tense muscles, upset stomach, feeling fatigued all the time, and even experiencing chest pains.

Workers often take those symptoms for granted. But these danger signs can be more serious than you think. Deadly serious in fact.

What worries you the most about work and life?

Harvard and Stanford researchers last October found that workplace tension could take from six months to three years off your life. The study cut across many kinds of jobs and income levels. A couple of big worries held by all of the groups surveyed were the fear of losing a job and health insurance.

"If we're living in a constant state off fight or flight," says wellness coach Emily Soares Proctor in a printed report, "the stress response happens over and over again, chronically upsetting your entire system and creating the environment for exhaustion and disease."

While you might question one of the survey's "findings"-that workplace stress can take months or years off your life-both Proctor and the Harvard survey agree on one thing: you must take action by taking steps to reduce workplace stress.

It's normal to experience some stress at work. But too much of it lowers your productivity along with your physical and emotional well-being. As mentioned previously, you need to deal with it. "Managing stress is the key to reversing these outcomes," concludes the Harvard/Stanford survey.

Can workplace stress be managed and ameliorated?

Of course it can. But you need to take the responsibility by blowing off steam in healthy ways by using stress-busters (SBs) that work for you.

Before listing some of the SBs, let's take a look at self-induced stress from drinking, drugging, or smoking. Those symptoms are the easiest to cure. That's because all you need to do is stop doing what's causing the symptoms. If you're having trouble quitting something, join a self-help group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

Six powerful stress-busters that allow you to blow off steam in healthy ways

SB #1: EXERCISE. It's a powerful stress reliever and makes you feel better. Find an exercise-like walking, swimming, cycling, or working out at a gym-that acts as a stress buster that works for you. You can even do some simple stretching exercises at your desk. It's well known that exercise helps you deal with stress.

SB #2. Listen to music-the kind that soothes you.

SB #3. TAKE A NAP or meditate. I've discovered twenty minutes of meditating during the day provides more energy and makes me feel more refreshed than napping.

SB #4. READ A BOOK that interests you. When I was a college freshman, I found a paperback novel lying around the dorm and found that reading a few pages between periods of study and at odd moments during the day relaxed my mind. I still read for relaxation.

SB#5. TALK TO SOMEONE you trust or see a mental health practitioner.

SB#6. BE WILLING TO QUIT YOUR JOB and start searching for another. Even if you don't quit, a willingness to do so will ease your tension. Why? Because you committed to doing something about it and believe that relief is in sight.

The reversal of stress symptoms

I've already mentioned that you-not your boss-are responsible for reversing your symptoms. Your employer doesn't give a hang about your job satisfaction or the trajectory of your career. Whether your workplace stress is created by conditions surrounding your work-like a crazy boss-or self induced by how you think, live, and manage your work environment, you are responsible for fixing it.

Don't give up this responsibility.

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Motivation - How to Get Motivated and Stay That Way

Getting excited about something new is human nature. Starting a new job. Opening up a new business. A new relationship. Your first day of working out. Starting meal prep. Anything new is exciting until it's not new anymore. Once you learn all the nuances of your new job, it's not exciting anymore. There's nothing fun about losing money for a few months in your new business, in fact, it's discouraging. Discovering all of your significant other's annoying quirks may make you reconsider building the relationship. Getting up at 5:00 am to go to the gym after you've been up late taking care of your sick child is difficult. Pushing through and maintaining enthusiasm about whatever it is will keep you on track.

You've made the first step. You got started. Some don't even make it that far because of fear. Congratulate yourself for making it over that hurdle. Now you find that you aren't as excited as you were in the beginning. You aren't as productive. You don't greet your customers with as much bravado as before. How do you keep up that excitement of the "new"?

Look around. Take an inventory of your life. Losing steam is the first step toward giving up. If you give up you will never realize your goals. Remember all the people cheering you on. Remember everyone who invested in you. Be it time, money, or simply encouragement. Can you handle disappointing them all if you chose not to succeed? Success is a choice we make everyday. It doesn't just happen. We choose it.

It's easy to stay excited when things are going well. The key to success is to stay excited when things are difficult. Things happen. There will be bad days at work. You will miss deadlines. Promotions will pass you by. You will have difficulties with customers. You will argue with your spouse. You will miss days at the gym. You will feel the guilt of cheating your diet. You will get rejected and face an obstacle or even failure. Know that failures are temporary only when you keep moving and continue to take action.

Maintaining enthusiasm about your project is the key to making your dreams come true. Take action everyday as if it is your first day. Keep visual reminders of what you are working toward. Keep a daily routine that promotes positive thoughts. Doing these things will allow you to stay excited about everything even when things get tough.

Be enthusiastic everyday. Don't let obstacles discourage you. Just continue. Keep visual reminders of what the results of your actions can yield to stay excited. Choose to excitement and you will stay excited.

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People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

It has been said that one's life can be an expression of their own needs or it can be an expression of other people's needs. When it comes to the former, one is pleasing themselves; whereas when it comes to the latter, they are pleasing others.

True Fulfillment

In order for one to live a fulfilling existence, it is clearly going to be important for them to take care of their own needs. Now, this doesn't mean that one will therefore overlook other people's needs.

There is a strong chance that they will meet other people's needs through putting their own needs first. For example, one could create their own business and even though this will allow them to full their needs, it will also enable them assist others.

Win-Win

As a result of this, it will be possible for one to fulfil their own needs and to fulfil other people's needs. The alternative would be for one to be there for others, but to overlook what is taking place within them.

It would then mean that even though one is having a positive effect on others, they are not having a positive effect on themselves. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is sabotaging their own life.

The Outsider

However, even though this is the case, it doesn't mean that other people will always realise this. Due to how one is behaving, they could believe that they are simply a 'selfless' human being.

One is then an example of how people should behave and they are going to admire their behaviour. What could also play a part in this is that one could act as though they are only too happy to overlook their own needs.

A Facade

There is also the chance that they could be so concerned with their own needs that they don't take the time to think about one's needs. Yet even if one does come across as easy going and 'selfless', it doesn't mean this reflects what is taking place within them.

During the moments when they are by themselves, they could feel frustrated, angry and powerless. At the same time, this could be an experience that doesn't last for very long, as one could end up feeling guilty and ashamed.

Self-Oppression

It then won't matter if there is external pressure, as one will keep themselves in line. This is something that could take place without one being fully aware of what is happening, and then before long, they could soon be doing what they can to please someone.

If one was able to take a step back from what is taking place, they may find that their life has been this way for quiet some time. It can then be seen as who they are as opposed to how they are choosing to behave.

A Choice

The trouble is that one is unlikely to see that they do have a choice when it comes to how they behave, and this can partly come down to how long they have experienced life in this way. It can be seen as something that just happens, and it is then going to be normal for one to have this outlook.

If one was to open up to someone about what is taking place, they may say that they need to put their needs first and not to worry about pleasing others. One could then be told to change their behaviour and then everything will be fine.

Two Sides

However, even though one is suffering unnecessarily through putting other people's needs first, it doesn't mean that they can just change what they are doing. For one thing, they could be out of touch with their own needs, and it could also cause them to experience a lot of pressure.

The mental and emotional pain they experience through trying a different approach could be stronger than the mental and emotional pain they usually experience. It can then be a lot easier for one to carry on doing the same thing and to neglect themselves.

Anxiety

When one puts their own needs first, they could end up feeling overwhelmed, and this could occur even if they were to only think about doing it. The sheer discomfort they experience is then going to stop them from being able to think clearly.

It is then not a case of one putting their needs first and feeling as though they are doing the right thing; it's as though something bad will happen, or that their world will come to an end. And through having this inner experience, it is not going to be a surprise for them to overlook their own needs.

Relationships

One could find that this is an experience that they have no matter who they are with, or it could be something that they generally experience around their friends and family. Also, if one is in an intimate relationship, it could be something that they experience in their company.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one's life revolves around pleasing other people, and this is then something that allows them to feel safe. The problem is that whilst it stops them from having to feel uncomfortable, it stops them from being able to live their own truth.

Why Is This?

This is then similar to how a child sees their caregiver whilst they are growing up; at this age, their survival does revolve around pleasing others. But through receiving the right care, they will gradually grow out of this and develop a sense of self.

If one doesn't receive the right care (and this could be because they were abused and/or neglected), it won't be possible for them to develop a sense of self. As a result of this, they will stay in a boundary-less state and continue to believe that their survival rests on pleasing others.

Awareness

It is then going to be important for one to develop boundaries on one hand and to work through the pain they experienced during their early years on the other. Once one feels like an adult and no longer sees life as they did as a child, their life will begin to change.

This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.



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7 Important Things Nobody Tells You About Motivation

Do you have 50 great ideas a day? New business plans? New blogs to start? New books to write? New courses to create? New speeches to give? New inventions to launch?

You may even start on some of these projects but lose motivation very quickly. It seems like ideas come up and fly away without you taking action on them. You’re wondering why some people can start on projects and keep pushing forward while you tend to lose interest after you start something.

Well, here’s the thing. Motivation isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not that some people are naturally motivated and others aren’t motivated at all. The big secret is that motivation can be cultivated which means that you too can do something to improve the level of motivation in your life. When you feel like scrapping the idea because you’ve lost interest, have a look at your motivation tank.

Here are 7 unspoken rules of motivation that will help you move forward to achieving your dreams:

1. Starting small helps you get motivated

If you love to bite off more than you can chew, take note of this principle. If you go after big tasks and giant goals, without breaking them down, you won’t feel very motivated. Instead of going for the kill every day, take small steps to achieving your life goals. Small steps means taking the smallest of steps. What is the very smallest action step you can break down? Take that step today. Buy the domain name. Write your first hundred words. Get the running shoes out of the closet.

2. Having a reason “why” helps you stay motivated

This is the biggest reason you don’t have the mojo to keep going. You start something but then suddenly feel like you have no reason to pursue it. If you’re going to go after something, get super clear on why this is important to your life. Come up with a list of reasons on why the dream is important or why the goal matters.  Keep this list at the top of your mind and look at it every day. Make sure you have emotional, psychological and purpose-filled reasons to go after whatever it is you want.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” – Colin Powell

3. Your vision of what’s possible helps you keep going

So often, we start and stop because we can’t see the end product. We can’t see what the promise land looks like. If you want to stay motivated, you have to keep the vision of what’s possible in front of you. Spend a couple minutes envisioning achieving your goal or dream. What does that feel like? How do you view yourself after you’ve achieved it? Taste the sweetness of having done what you’re setting out to do.

4. Habits are the fuel for motivation

Yes, you should take small steps but not occasionally and not when you feel like it. The way to make sure you remain motivated, especially in the beginning, is to turn your dreams into actionable steps that you do consistently. Write for five minutes a day. Run for five minutes a day. Work on your business plan for five minutes a day. It’s not how long you do something as  much as how consistently you do something. Use habits to keep you moving forward.  

5. Acknowledging your progress is critical

You may move ahead but feel more behind. When you don’t feel like you’re progressing forward, you begin to feel like you’ve lost. The way to help you stay motivated is to regularly remind yourself of how far you’ve come along. To do that, acknowledge your progress. Track your progress and celebrate milestones. Look back and show yourself how much farther along you are.

6. Your inner circle impacts your motivation

If you don’t think your friends, mentor and inner circle matters, you’re wrong. You’re going to do what your circle of influence does. If your inner circle is lazing around and slacking , you’re going to do the same. If you hang around go-getters who are going after their dreams, you’re going to do so likewise. The people around you can be the sun that helps you flourish or the weeds that will cripple your progress. Add more sun in your life and cut the weeds out. Be conscious and aware of who you’re surrounding yourself with because they have a direct effect on your motivation.

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmund Lee

7. Failure can unleash your motivation

You might feel it’s over when you fail but that’s hardly the case. All success stories, world-changers and come-back stories share one thing in common, failure. All the greats have failed. You have to use the lessons of failure as an opportunity to spring forward. Use your failure to learn what didn’t work, then start over. Go stronger and bolder than you’ve gone before. Failure is a great motivator to get it right and to surpass previous attempts.

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