Self-Improvement 1, 2, 3

1. Accept that you need to grow stronger.

Most of us have yet to achieve our highest desire. Our lack of success is usually some combination of our strengths being too weak and our weaknesses being too strong.

The combination is different for each of us. But what we all have in common is that in order to achieve the success we desire we must grow stronger.

Will your success mean stronger finances, taking care of your family better, giving back to your community, or possibly recognition and respect? Imagine how satisfied you will be with that.

Now, are you ready to accept your need to grow stronger?

2. Commit to your growth.

What you want to achieve is valuable to you. Do you think anyone else wants to achieve the same thing? The answer is almost certainly yes. And there are likely to be a lot of people wanting the same thing. Can all of you achieve it? Probably not.

So who will achieve what you, and many others, want? Those who are the strongest in several different areas. Before you even look at how strong or weak you are in those areas, you must decide how much success means to you. How much do you want it? How hungry are you for it?

In order to greatly improve your chances of success, you must commit to grow stronger. Few people will make the necessary commitment simply because they don't want it enough.

You cannot just want to succeed. That's not enough. Too many other people will want it more than you. You have to be passionate about achieving your goal. Only then will you be willing to work hard at your self-improvement.

Are you ready to commit to your growth?

3. Look at yourself.

In order to grow stronger, you have to know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Maybe you're already aware of some of them. Maybe not. Do you know which are holding you back? That's not easy to know.

We think there are ten qualities that are essential to your success. You need to understand them and then decide how strong or weak you are in each. Knowing that might mean asking friends and family about each of your qualities.

Then you can see how those ten qualities relate to you. You'll get an idea of how much you need to grow. Will your growth to success take long? Probably. Measurable success does not come easily.

But imagine how great you'll feel when it does. Imagine how proud you'll be. Imagine all the things you'll be able to do. Imagine how others will now be impressed with you. Is that what you want?

Are you ready to learn about yourself so that you can grow stronger?

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself

Feeling less than motivated all too often? I do. Well, perhaps not too often. But sometimes I just feel really lazy and unmotivated.

Want some practical solutions to that universal motivation-problem? Here are 25 of them. Try a handful.

Let me know which ones work well for you.

I’m sure you’ll find at least one or two that do just that among these suggestions.


1. Make a deal with yourself. Good for overcoming procrastination and getting things done. You can make the deal small or large. You simple tell yourself something like: When I’m done with this chapter/these reports I can take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream.


2. Act like it. If you don’t feel motivated or enthusiastic then act like it. The strange thing is that within a few minutes you actually start to feel motivated or enthusiastic for real.


3. Ask uplifting questions in the morning. Here’s what you do; every morning ask yourself five empowering three-part questions this way:


What am I ______ about in my life right now?
What about it makes me _______?
How does it make me feel?

Put in your own value in the blank space. For instance, a couple of my questions are:

What am I happy about in my life right now?
What am I excited about in my life right now?

It’s important that you really feel how it makes you feel. When I think about the last part about what makes me happy right now I really feel it. These morning questions are great because the way they are set up makes you recognize things you take for granted and then they really get you to feel those positive feelings.


4. Move the goalposts. Set a large and specific goal. This will motivate you much more than small goals. A big goal has a big effect and can create a lot of motivation.


5. Do something small and create a flow. Just clean your desk. Or pay your bills. Or wash the dishes. You just need to get started. When you have finished that small task you’ll feel more alert and ready to go do the next thing. You just to get started to get motivated. So if you really don’t feel like doing anything, start with something small and work your way out up.


6. Do the toughest task first. This will ease a lot of your day-to-day worries and boost your self-confidence for the rest of the day. Read more about doing the hardest task bright and early right here.


7. Start slow. Instead of jumping into something at full speed start slow. When you do that your mind will not visualize the task as something hard that you have to do fast, fast, fast. If your mind sees such things guess what often happens? Yep, you don’t get started. Actually getting started, even if it’s at a slow pace, is a whole lot better than not getting started at all.


8. Compare yourself with yourself. Not with others. Comparing what you have and your results to what other people have and have accomplished can really kill your motivation. There are always people ahead of you. Most likely quite a bit of people. And a few of them are miles ahead. So focus on you. On your results. And how you can and have improved them.

Reviewing your results is important so you see where you have gone wrong in the past to avoid similar missteps further on. But it’s also important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a review.

9. Remember your successes. And let them flow through your mind instead of your failures. Write down your successes. Consider using a journal of some kind since it’s easy to forget your successes.

10. Act like your heroes. Read about them, watch them, listen to them. Discover what they did that was special and what made them tick. But remember that they are people just like us. So let them inspire you instead of looking up at them admiringly.

11. Remember to have fun. Or create fun in a task. Then you’ll stay motivated to do and finish it.


12. Get out of your comfort zone. Face your challenges to get a real boost of motivation. If you are holding yourself back have a look at 5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear and the methods in this article. They can help you get started and take that first scary step outside your comfort zone.


13. Don’t fear failure. Instead redefine it as feedback and as a natural part of a successful life. As Michael Jordan said:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Also, try to find the valuable lesson(s) in each of your failures. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this?

14. Do some research on what you are about to do. Then your expectations will be more grounded in reality and you can also get good hints on what difficulties that you might run into along the way. Managing your expectations can lower the often almost explosive initial enthusiasm. But it can also lessen the lack of motivation that usually follows when most of that enthusiasm has dissipated.

When you know what has happened to others in similar situations – what path they have walked – you can adapt and try their solutions (and personal variations of those) and your own. This makes the worries and challenges easier to handle. Both emotionally – since you know at least some of the things that will happen and that others have lived through it before – and practically.


15. Figure out why you are doing something. If you don’t know or don’t have good enough reason to do something then it will be hard to get it done. Do things that you have really strong reasons to do. If you want to do something then figure out a good reason to do it. If you can’t find one consider dropping it and doing something that you have a good reason to do instead.


16. Write down your goals and reasons for working towards them. Tape them on your wall, computer or bathroom mirror. Then you’ll be reminded throughout the day and it becomes easier to stay on track and stay focused.


17. Take The Positivity Challenge! Learn to think more positively most of the time. Learn to let to go of negative threads of thought before they have a chance to take hold of you. You might not be able to be positive all the time no matter what happens. But I think most of us can improve on our positive thinking and the results it can lead us to. Perhaps more than you realize right now.

18. Cut down on TV. Do you watch it too much? Watch less of what they are doing in TV-land and do more of what you want to do in life.


19. Break it down. Break down your task or project into small steps. And just start with focusing on that first small step. When you are done move on to the next and just focus on that one. The small successes will keep your motivation up and keeping your focus away from the big picture stops you from becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. It’s amazing how much you can get done if you follow this simple method.


20. Reprogram your information intake. Program out negative and cynical thoughts from the media and society. Reduce your information intake. Then program in positive news and entertainment, more of your own thoughts and useful information such as personal growth tapes and books. Be selective and keep it positive.


21. Make use of your creativity. Take out a piece of paper. Write at the top of the page what area in your life you would like to have more ideas about. Perhaps you want ideas to earn more money or become a healthier person. Then brainstorm until you have written down 20 ideas on that topic. Then try for 10 more. Not all ideas will be good. But some will. And as you make use of your creativity you not only discover useful ideas. You also discover just how creative you can be if you try and how motivating and great that feels.

22. Find out what makes you happy. Then do that. As much as you want or can.

23. Listen while you’re on the move. Build your own small library of motivational/personal development tapes. Listen to them while you are driving, riding the bus or your bike, while you are out running or walking. Take a peek at my recommended personal development products if you are looking for a good place to start.


24. Think outside your box. Don’t imagine the future from the box of what you have now. Just because your mind is in box of previous experiences doesn’t mean that´s the limits of the world. Your possibilities are much larger. Create the future from the now and from nothing rather than your past to experience bigger changes with fewer limitations than you would if you created it from what you can see from your box.


25. Make each day count. We don’t have all the time in the world. So focus on today and do the things you really want to do.

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How to Define Your Own Destiny?

How to Define Your Own Destiny?

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." Anthony Robbins.

Have you ever wondered the importance of our daily's routine decisions? More than we could possibly imagine. In order to define your future and reshape your destiny there are some steps that one should follow. All of them are based in "the moments of your decisions".

Most of us tend to ignore the magnitude of these three crucial ones.


Focus on things you enjoy.
Interpretation of life.
Willingness for Success.



Focus on things you enjoy.

Firstly, DETECT the things that thrill you, that interest you the most and make them part of your life.

Achieving that, requires some simple questions to yourselves first.


What are the things I like doing?
Do they make me happy in long-term?
How can I reach to the success?



So, the first decision is related with the things you choose to focus on!

Interpretation of life.

Secondly, how you choose to interpret things to your life?

If you approach situations you encounter in your daily basis in a negative way, you've already lost the game. If you interpret your attempts for reaching your goal as a failure, every experiment stands as a dead end. Eventually you walk away sporadically from your goal. If you face any snag as a "conviction" of your primary plan, you will end up distancing yourself from your own first decision. So, stick to it and no matter what, keep on trying till it finally works out. Did you know that Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone was rejected 12 times? Also, a publisher advised J.K. Rowling "not to quit her current job, because you she was an inadequate writer"! Can you imagine? But still, she kept in focusing in her goals.

How can I reach success?

The third decision and the most important one is what are you willing to do about it? What are you willing to sacrifice - (I assure you that there has to be some of that, too) -but in the end you would have enjoyed those moments as well. Whatever the decisions you make, you always have to show adaptability, you will examine the outcome and use the knowledge as a result of better judgment in the future.

Remember, if someone else is more successful than you in a specific field, that automatically means this person has made different decisions of yours in the same situation or under the same circumstances.










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How To Gain The Confidence To Live A Remarkable Life

How To Gain The Confidence To Live A Remarkable Life

On A Wing And Prayer


A remarkable life begins with the intention to cast away the bowline on your former life, in exchange for new beginnings.

Whilst you may not know the steps required, you recognise your current experience is not what you want.

Once you state your intention to change your circumstances, the pieces of the puzzle will come together.

Most journeys are lined with detours, dead ends and eventual success. Our voyage comprises peaks and turning points where we confront our demons, only to rise above them.

"Your attitude and how you respond to both opportunity and setbacks are critical to pivoting. You need to develop habits that help you foster a positive mind-set, help you understand yourself, and increase your sense of control over your life," affirms author Adam Markel in Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.

We must assume responsibility for our future which means accepting everything that arises along the way.

Nothing is gained overnight. Where success comes fast, it can be easily squandered, so don't be in a haste to upgrade your life sooner. It's not how fast you reach your destination, but the lessons and experiences that matter.

The Value Of Connections

We cannot create a remarkable life without the help of others. As social creatures, valued relationships can propel us to new heights.

My greatest life experiences resulted from connecting with people whom I thought had little to offer. However, they imparted precious wisdom and knowledge when I needed it most.

Similarly, it's vital you surround yourself with people who sympathise with your cause and don't sabotage your plans.

The world is full of detractors and cynics, unable to pursue their dreams. They may have failed and will insist you cannot succeed either.

Steer clear away from them. Grave diggers, as I call them, will find every excuse to convince you it can't be done.

"The truth, in spite of what we might believe about remarkable people, is that you cannot master a skill on your own. Finding your calling will not happen without the aid and assistance of others. Every story of success is, in fact, a story of community," states author Jeff Goins in The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do.

Humility and kindness will take you far because you never know when your circumstances will change. To repay the services of those who help you or by paying it forward, is something we must take into account.

Unearth your innate confidence, irrespective of the reality you face. This leads to a resolute conviction because you discover the essence of your nature in moments of determination.

Failure and rejection become your allies since anything of value requires: commitment, dedication and time.

Fear vs Faith

Don't allow your fears and insecurities to cripple you.

Ninety percent of the world's population don't take action on their dreams because their fears overpower them. Gradually, the years slip away and they've achieved little, much to their regret.

They entertain dis-empowering thoughts that keep them safe within their comfort zone.

Yet, a safe refuge will seldom award you a remarkable life. It's the assurance of an average life which I'm sure is not what you want.

"Who we are and where we want to go determine what we do and what we accomplish. A life lived on purpose is the most powerful of all- and the happiest," state authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results.

An extraordinary life is created by conceding parts of our life that are not working while attaining something greater.

To discover your calling is essential if you seek to align with purpose. Hidden in these treasures lies your passion, instead of a career or a job you loathe.

Those who pursue their purpose have an unwavering commitment to serve others and are pulled by the exuberance for life.

"You're either remarkable or invisible," declares author Seth Godin in his bestselling book, Purple Cow.

Follow Your Calling

I appreciate the notion to answer our calling since it's grounded in purpose and intention, key aspects of universal wisdom. A calling can be as minor as writing poetry for family and friends or as grand as humanitarian efforts in third world countries.

Don't succumb to those who advocate your calling is less than glamorous because if it resonates with you, there's a good chance you're following it.

There's talk nowadays of pursuing happiness, that it's now become a first world problem. At least we've reached the consensus, material possessions do not equate to fulfillment.

The greatest source of happiness arises from a focused purpose. It entails attending to big picture issues instead of trivial ones that occupy your time and energy.

You must trade the familiar for the uncertain and be guided by the appeal of the journey. For when you jump, the net will appear, but not a moment sooner until you take the plunge.

The promise of a remarkable life is a journey of self-discovery. It sets the intention and the seed of opportunity for the next phase of your life. You won't know what the imminent future holds until you start out on the path.

Author Michael Neill reminds us of a wonderful message in his book The Inside-Out Revolution: The Only Thing You Need to Know to Change Your Life Forever, "How things ultimately turn out isn't up to us. It never was. But if we do our bit and play our part, it's remarkable how far we can go."

You Have What It Takes

Don't despair, you're well adapted to surmount any circumstances life presents. All your needs have served you from birth until now and will continue to serve you as long as you maintain trust.

It's not important what a remarkable life looks like, however we must believe it's attainable. We should allow life to show us how to merge into this future and be willing to embrace what arises.

Don't become a bystander, waiting for circumstances to change or improve. Enter the arena as a gladiator and assuage your fears while silencing your doubts.

To the victor goes the spoils.

Spectators are self-imposed critics who sit on the side-lines, while others take massive action to create extraordinary circumstances.

Life is too precious to be an onlooker.

Author Jeff Goins reminds us again that the luck is something we create, "What makes a person successful, then, is not the luck, but what he or she does with it. Opportunities come. The question is what will you do when they arrive? Successful people are just as "lucky" as the unsuccessful. The difference is they do something remarkable with their lucky moment while the rest of the world sits around, waiting for the next lucky streak to come."

To live a remarkable life entails immense personal growth and self-improvement. The person you are now, is not the person you will become.

For success is a by-product of inspired action.

So, cast away the bowline and set your sail to navigate towards a prosperous future.

You never know where it will take you and that's the greatest adventure we can embark on - trusting in ourselves and living to serve our needs.

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People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

It has been said that one's life can be an expression of their own needs or it can be an expression of other people's needs. When it comes to the former, one is pleasing themselves; whereas when it comes to the latter, they are pleasing others.

True Fulfillment

In order for one to live a fulfilling existence, it is clearly going to be important for them to take care of their own needs. Now, this doesn't mean that one will therefore overlook other people's needs.

There is a strong chance that they will meet other people's needs through putting their own needs first. For example, one could create their own business and even though this will allow them to full their needs, it will also enable them assist others.

Win-Win

As a result of this, it will be possible for one to fulfil their own needs and to fulfil other people's needs. The alternative would be for one to be there for others, but to overlook what is taking place within them.

It would then mean that even though one is having a positive effect on others, they are not having a positive effect on themselves. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is sabotaging their own life.

The Outsider

However, even though this is the case, it doesn't mean that other people will always realise this. Due to how one is behaving, they could believe that they are simply a 'selfless' human being.

One is then an example of how people should behave and they are going to admire their behaviour. What could also play a part in this is that one could act as though they are only too happy to overlook their own needs.

A Facade

There is also the chance that they could be so concerned with their own needs that they don't take the time to think about one's needs. Yet even if one does come across as easy going and 'selfless', it doesn't mean this reflects what is taking place within them.

During the moments when they are by themselves, they could feel frustrated, angry and powerless. At the same time, this could be an experience that doesn't last for very long, as one could end up feeling guilty and ashamed.

Self-Oppression

It then won't matter if there is external pressure, as one will keep themselves in line. This is something that could take place without one being fully aware of what is happening, and then before long, they could soon be doing what they can to please someone.

If one was able to take a step back from what is taking place, they may find that their life has been this way for quiet some time. It can then be seen as who they are as opposed to how they are choosing to behave.

A Choice

The trouble is that one is unlikely to see that they do have a choice when it comes to how they behave, and this can partly come down to how long they have experienced life in this way. It can be seen as something that just happens, and it is then going to be normal for one to have this outlook.

If one was to open up to someone about what is taking place, they may say that they need to put their needs first and not to worry about pleasing others. One could then be told to change their behaviour and then everything will be fine.

Two Sides

However, even though one is suffering unnecessarily through putting other people's needs first, it doesn't mean that they can just change what they are doing. For one thing, they could be out of touch with their own needs, and it could also cause them to experience a lot of pressure.

The mental and emotional pain they experience through trying a different approach could be stronger than the mental and emotional pain they usually experience. It can then be a lot easier for one to carry on doing the same thing and to neglect themselves.

Anxiety

When one puts their own needs first, they could end up feeling overwhelmed, and this could occur even if they were to only think about doing it. The sheer discomfort they experience is then going to stop them from being able to think clearly.

It is then not a case of one putting their needs first and feeling as though they are doing the right thing; it's as though something bad will happen, or that their world will come to an end. And through having this inner experience, it is not going to be a surprise for them to overlook their own needs.

Relationships

One could find that this is an experience that they have no matter who they are with, or it could be something that they generally experience around their friends and family. Also, if one is in an intimate relationship, it could be something that they experience in their company.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one's life revolves around pleasing other people, and this is then something that allows them to feel safe. The problem is that whilst it stops them from having to feel uncomfortable, it stops them from being able to live their own truth.

Why Is This?

This is then similar to how a child sees their caregiver whilst they are growing up; at this age, their survival does revolve around pleasing others. But through receiving the right care, they will gradually grow out of this and develop a sense of self.

If one doesn't receive the right care (and this could be because they were abused and/or neglected), it won't be possible for them to develop a sense of self. As a result of this, they will stay in a boundary-less state and continue to believe that their survival rests on pleasing others.

Awareness

It is then going to be important for one to develop boundaries on one hand and to work through the pain they experienced during their early years on the other. Once one feels like an adult and no longer sees life as they did as a child, their life will begin to change.

This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.



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Surefire Ways to Equip Yourself for Success

Surefire Ways to Equip Yourself for Success

Breaking through the interview process and landing a job is only part of the overall battle. An employee needs to have a plan of action so that he or she can experience success. Success within a career is not necessarily perfection. Sometimes it is the ability to advance to a new level. Other times it may be how well you can work in harmony with other employees and managers. The following are five tips for equipping oneself for success in any occupation or career:

1. Establish a Positive Attitude

A positive attitude is one of the most important elements that one needs for success. Many people in the world have a negative attitude when it comes to life in general. They tend to become discouraged and demotivated the moment opposition comes their way. A successful person is one who learns to see the blessing in every negative event. For example, a missed job opportunity may occur because the door is opening for a different and more well-suited position. Also, sometimes a poor review may be just what an employee needs to develop a skill set that can bring him or her up to par for a promotion.

2. Develop a Vision and a Game Plan

Walking around blindly never gets anyone anywhere, especially within a career. The first step in beginning to think about success is to have a game plan in effect. It's important for a person to know where each step (A-B-C or 1-2-3) begins and ends. An employee also must have an idea of a career path that is fitting. The goal needs to be realistic and attainable. Career assessments, job counselors and personal experiences can help the person to create their vision. Leadership persons and management staff members are there to help the individual to create the game plan that can set the person on the right track to a long-lasting, satisfying career.

3. Train for Success

Training for success can help the person to digest and cultivate success. One way that an employee can train for success is by attending a seminar. A seminar is a meeting at which a speaker shares tips and "secrets" on how to succeed. People usually hold success seminars at hotels which can last a few hours or a few days. Webinars are the same as seminars except the speaker gives them over the Internet as opposed to at a hotel or such. Finally, an employer can give success training by way of a meeting in the workplace.

4. Strengthen People Skills

Success cannot occur very well without the involvement of people skills. This skill set is more or less the ability for a worker to get along with co-workers and management staff. Not everyone comes equipped with adequate people skills. Fortunately, they are able to be learned through experience, counseling and training.

5. Communicate with Management

Employees must keep in touch with management staff members in order to succeed. They must share their ideas and their concerns. One very important step many people fail to do is express to management that they would like to advance within the company. This can be crucial. Otherwise the promotion you're hoping for may go to someone else with the initiative to speak up.

The previously mentioned tips can help a person to succeed and stay successful. They also are of great importance as you devote so much time and energy to building and maintaining a strong foundation and stellar reputation.

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4 Ways to Start Thinking Positive Today

4 Ways to Start Thinking Positive Today

Today we are going to talk about 4 ways to start thinking positive as often our mind gets filled with negative self talk rather than positive thoughts, so in this article we are going to explore the positive way. We live in a very busy era with smart phones, laptops and cable TV. As a result of this our thoughts are constantly busy, we are always thinking about things and have new information we are absorbing every single day. This can have a major influence on the way your thoughts are.

So when you embrace the negative and you don't believe you can achieve something you probably won't do it as you let negative self-talk win. Well it really doesn't have to be this way and you can achieve everything you have dreamt about by choosing to shift this negative self-talk so it's create positive mindset instead.

I have shared my favourite 4 main points to start been positive today.

Listen to your thoughts

The first step is acknowledgement of your thoughts by tapping into what you are really thinking. This sounds incredibly simple but are you really listening to what your thoughts are saying? Our thoughts are made up of conscious and unconscious thoughts so some thoughts you are aware of and some thoughts you aren't. As I said above some media and people around us are telling us what we should be like for example the perfect partner, daughter/son and friend. If we are aware of this we have a choice not to buy into these thoughts. So my suggestion is to carry a pen and paper around with you for one day and during this day I want you to write down any negative thoughts you have. Be aware of any common trends and similar thoughts that repeat themselves during the day. This is an extremely powerful exercise to bring awareness and then this will bring change.

Choosing self acceptance

Instead of getting frustrated with the way you are feeling instead choosing to embrace self-acceptance, which will bring you peace within. So do your currently have acceptance within yourself just the way you are? Or do you focus on your weaknesses like the way your body looks in the mirror, how much money you have in your bank account or what someone close to you said about something you did? So let's get a pen or get on your computer screen a list 5 points of what self-acceptance means to you? This is the start of exploring your self-acceptance journey and practicing the kindness you deserve. When you are living in your own power you give yourself permission to show up fully. This deeper knowing that you are the way you are meant to be.

Confront your fears.

Fear will hold you back and sabotage your success so notice when fear is present in your mind. Instead give fear a voice and ask yourself what am I afraid of? What can I do to start moving forward? Break your big fear into small pieces and think without this fear here what do I want to achieve? Don't judge yourself in this moment and give yourself the kindness to feel what you feel. So by taking fear out of the picture your mind can see the positive outcomes without fear present.

Relationship with yourself

Some of us are the caregivers we look after our partner, our family and our friends. We nurture and care for others which is an amazing gift we give every single day but often we put ourselves last. If we aren't looking after ourselves what happens to us? We can feel tired, fed up, have negative thoughts and generally start to resent others around us. So instead choosing things to do just for us to fill us up like exercise, meditation and spending time doing something you love. By doing this you are improving your relationship with yourself and in turn the way your thoughts are.

By changing the way you think takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today you will notice your mind happier because of it. The more practice and time you put into changing your mindset your life will start changing for the better.

Today you can change the way you think, this does takes practice and time but setting the intention to start today is the best start. I would love you to share with me how you have shifted your negative mindset to be positive instead.

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How To Find Your Core Purpose In Life

How To Find Your Core Purpose In Life

This is one of the biggest, greatest and most fascinating mysteries of all time.

For one thing, most people are caught up in the day-to-day chores, running errands, paying bills and surviving through the day; For another, a lot of us never really stop and give ourselves some quiet time to contemplate this imperative life question.

However, if you don't put some serious thought into this question and take action for some mini-experiments, you're very likely going to drift like the average mediocre masses and never experience the kind of maximum achievement, total fulfillment and deep meaning of a purposeful life.

So how do you find your purpose then?

Well, firstly recognize the fact that it's a never-ending process.

Your path to discovering your purpose is similar to peeling off layer after layer of an onion.There's always something inside.

But the good thing is that, every time another layer unfolds, you will reach a deeper level of what you're supposed to do in life.

So maybe right now you aspire to be the next best New York Times Best Seller.

Writing is something you are passionate about, it's what you do naturally in your leisure time, and you don't mind doing it for free because the process energizes you.

That's awesome and you should definitely go for it.

However, there may be a point in the future (maybe 5, 10, or 20 years later) when you don't feel inspired to write anymore.

Maybe writing has become something you hate rather than love.

Maybe you're tired of the business side of launching a successful book.

Maybe the world doesn't like your writings anymore.

That's okay, accept the fact that things change and you've evolved to become a different person. It's time to start some mini experiments again.

It's time to leave your comfort area of familiarity and explore the world a bit.

It's time to hang out with new people and meet some friends so you gain fresh insights, stimulation and inspiration.

It's time to try out new activities, places, food, fun, adventures etc. and feel alive again.

And because of these new stimuli, you'll likely acquire new motivation to pursue something new.

What makes you happy may change.

What attracts you may change.

What you love may change.

What you hate may change.

Life is a never-ending process of experimentation.

Every time you're nudged by God, the Universe, the Cosmo, the 6th sense or whatever you believe in to do certain things that your heart, gut and soul wants to, you're moving one step closer to your core purpose.

Be aware of these signals.

Give yourself permission to feel, to discover, to experiment, to fail, to be wrong.

And when something resonates with your deepest core being like nothing else, maybe your calling has arrived. At least for now.




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How to Be a People Person When You Aren’t

Not everyone is born a “people person”. Me included. I tend to shy away from the spotlight when there are many people around. However, I love people and am attracted to them. I find their stories fascinating and continuously learning from them to better myself.

This explains why I love interviewing inspiring people and reading biographies and memories. The deeper I know someone, either in person or virtually, the more I admire them.

In my world, everyone is a teacher. We can learn from their successes and their failures. Acknowledging them is the first path to be a “people person” in the fullest meaning of the term.

It’s common knowledge that individuals who are good with other people would enjoy privileges in connecting with, relating to, and leading others. These traits are essential for success. Both extroverts and introverts can learn these skills.

Introverts regain their energy with alone time, while extroverts gain their strength from being out there with many people. Both types are necessary for society and for human evolution. However, many people misunderstood the quieter introverts for being “weak,” while the louder extroverts are mistaken for being “strong.”

The truth is, introverts tend to think first before speaking, while extroverts do the other way around. These traits can be learned as well. For instance, introverts can learn to speak without any pause from thinking too much. Extroverts can learn to think first for one or two seconds prior to expressing verbally.

I’m an introvert and will always be. This means I think before I speak and I find alone time recharging and relaxing. I prefer not to be involved in loud group activities, but favor more quite group activities and one-on-one sessions. I genuinely love people but prefer having a small group of like-minded people with deep relationships instead of hanging out with a large group of people whom I barely know.

Susan Cain in her 2013 best-selling book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” says that there is nothing wrong being an introvert, for the primary difference between an introvert and an extrovert is their source of energy.

Realizing the need to better my skills around people, I learned the importance of the following elements when communicating. It takes time to master them and I often fall back to my own quiet way.

Just remember to keep reframing your thoughts and words whenever you’re communicating with people before retrieving into your private world. Here are 5 tips you can use to become more charismatic.

HOW TO BE A PEOPLE PERSON WHEN YOU AREN’T

FIRST, PRACTICE THE GOLDEN RULE.

To relate with others better, place yourself in the other person’s shoes. Open your heart up. Treat people like how you want to be treated. It may sound cliche, but it’s the most important principle of communication. When you invest in something good, it will return to you. When you appreciate people, they will appreciate you back.

When people don’t behave well and are negative, if we keep our positive attitude, most likely they’d change and follow our lead. For instance, if you want others to encourage you, you can start by encouraging them. This kind of positivity brings people closer and, together, you can bring the best in each other.

SECOND, HOLD NO GRUDGES AND FORGIVE RIGHT AWAY.

Forgiving others right away is a sign of strength. It’s both liberating your mind and maintaining peace at heart. For thinking introverts, who tend to ruminate a lot, grudges would create an endless cycle that doesn’t stop.

The more you think of something that’s “not right” in your eyes, the more you’d ruminate, thus the more unforgiving you are and deeper the grudge would become. Stop the vicious cycle by forgiving and letting go.

THIRD, REMOVE YOUR “EGO” TO BE SEEN “INTELLIGENT.”

Let communication flow and create a positive and friendly atmosphere. For a nerdy introvert like me, it takes time to warm up as I tend to talk about “big ideas” rather than personal activities.

You can start talking about whatever it is available in front of you at that time, such as what a fine dinner it is and how good the weather is. Start with something both of you find interesting, instead of talking about the Congress, the latest stock price for APPL, or the recent debate on Universal Basic Income.

FOURTH, SHOW INTEREST BY REALLY LISTENING TO OTHER’S STORIES.

Listen to what people are saying by showing the proof of it. Ask questions based on what they have just talked about. Make positive comments with some facial expression.

Don’t wait for your turn to talk by nodding without really listening. The more you practice this proactive listening, the better you become at understanding others. And you’ll open your heart more.

FIFTH, USE “WE” INSTEAD OF I WHENEVER POSSIBLE.

Use “we” more often than “I” and frame your message to include “we” than merely “I.” Remember that an ideal communication is a win-win, meaning both parties gain something meaningful. Small simple things, like attentive listening, appreciating their time, and reciprocity would reinforce the “we” factor.

Introverts can communicate well with others and some are even famous for it. For example, Dianne Sawyer, Julia Roberts, Abraham Lincoln, Emma Watson, Christina Aguilera, George Stephanopoulos, and Bill Gates are all introverts. We love them for who they are and we can attest that they are “people persons.”

I’ve been practicing this more open communication style with these five elements, which are both engaging and positive, for years. And I’m still learning how to make people like me more for who I am than what I know about the world. Everything takes time.

Three more tips:

One, if you’re super shy when dealing with others, imagine that you’re talking to only one person whom you truly trust, like your partner or your best friend. Trick your mind to believe it.

Two, if you become nervous, look at the wall behind the forehead of person you’re talking to. Look at the spot in between their eyes. You’re still looking at them, but slightly indirectly.

Three, be aware of your body language. Have an open body language, not squeamish or closed. Study reveals that open body language also tricks our mind to think that we’re confident and positive, as if everything goes in our favor.

At last, be brave and watch yourself grow on daily basis. Communicating the way “people person” does takes time and practice for introverts. Eventually, you’ll have the so-called “charisma” to open more doors and more opportunities.

Just take the first step.

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