Six Stress-Busters That Will Ease Your Stress At Work

Does your heart beat faster at work and you have trouble sleeping at night? Those are just a couple of symptoms for work-induced stress. Other indications of being stressed at work include headaches, tense muscles, upset stomach, feeling fatigued all the time, and even experiencing chest pains.

Workers often take those symptoms for granted. But these danger signs can be more serious than you think. Deadly serious in fact.

What worries you the most about work and life?

Harvard and Stanford researchers last October found that workplace tension could take from six months to three years off your life. The study cut across many kinds of jobs and income levels. A couple of big worries held by all of the groups surveyed were the fear of losing a job and health insurance.

"If we're living in a constant state off fight or flight," says wellness coach Emily Soares Proctor in a printed report, "the stress response happens over and over again, chronically upsetting your entire system and creating the environment for exhaustion and disease."

While you might question one of the survey's "findings"-that workplace stress can take months or years off your life-both Proctor and the Harvard survey agree on one thing: you must take action by taking steps to reduce workplace stress.

It's normal to experience some stress at work. But too much of it lowers your productivity along with your physical and emotional well-being. As mentioned previously, you need to deal with it. "Managing stress is the key to reversing these outcomes," concludes the Harvard/Stanford survey.

Can workplace stress be managed and ameliorated?

Of course it can. But you need to take the responsibility by blowing off steam in healthy ways by using stress-busters (SBs) that work for you.

Before listing some of the SBs, let's take a look at self-induced stress from drinking, drugging, or smoking. Those symptoms are the easiest to cure. That's because all you need to do is stop doing what's causing the symptoms. If you're having trouble quitting something, join a self-help group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous.

Six powerful stress-busters that allow you to blow off steam in healthy ways

SB #1: EXERCISE. It's a powerful stress reliever and makes you feel better. Find an exercise-like walking, swimming, cycling, or working out at a gym-that acts as a stress buster that works for you. You can even do some simple stretching exercises at your desk. It's well known that exercise helps you deal with stress.

SB #2. Listen to music-the kind that soothes you.

SB #3. TAKE A NAP or meditate. I've discovered twenty minutes of meditating during the day provides more energy and makes me feel more refreshed than napping.

SB #4. READ A BOOK that interests you. When I was a college freshman, I found a paperback novel lying around the dorm and found that reading a few pages between periods of study and at odd moments during the day relaxed my mind. I still read for relaxation.

SB#5. TALK TO SOMEONE you trust or see a mental health practitioner.

SB#6. BE WILLING TO QUIT YOUR JOB and start searching for another. Even if you don't quit, a willingness to do so will ease your tension. Why? Because you committed to doing something about it and believe that relief is in sight.

The reversal of stress symptoms

I've already mentioned that you-not your boss-are responsible for reversing your symptoms. Your employer doesn't give a hang about your job satisfaction or the trajectory of your career. Whether your workplace stress is created by conditions surrounding your work-like a crazy boss-or self induced by how you think, live, and manage your work environment, you are responsible for fixing it.

Don't give up this responsibility.

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12 Tips For Conquering Anxiety

Anxiety is part of the human condition. Search for somebody that never ever feels anxiety. Some individuals are more resistant to stress and anxiety than others, but everyone can reinforce their capability to manage anxious sensations. Establishing a high level of anxiety is a learned ability. Reducing stress and anxiety is an ability, too.

The crucial factor to managing anxiety is to begin reducing it as soon as possible after it hits you. The more it develops, the more challenging it is to manage.

Deal with anxiety rapidly and easily:

1. Break your day into small pieces. Just worry about the percentage of time in front of you. If you're sitting in a conference at 9:00 AM, there's no need to fret about how you're going to pay the electric bill or exactly what you're going to have for dinner. Take the day a minute at time and keep your interest on that minute.

2. Create a mantra and utilize it. Have a positive and uplifting phrase you repeat to yourself. You'll eventually begin to think it and you'll obstruct any negative self-talk.

" I'm happy with the ability to manage any circumstance."

" My life is filled with joy and positive energy."

3. Workout. The quickest way to relieve anxiety is to work out enough to sweat. A casual walk is better than nothing, but to get the greatest benefit, it's necessary to get your heart beating hard.

4. Utilize distractions. Distractions never ever fix the underlying problem, but can supply relief. See a movie, play cards, or do a crossword. Hang out with a friend. Give yourself a break and put your focus in other places.

5. Keep going. Anxiety occurs since some part of your brain is attempting to stop you from doing something about it. It has learned that it can control you by making you feel miserable. You can reduce the anxiety you feel by plowing ahead. Your brain will learn that making you feel anxious does not work.

6. Give yourself 20 minutes to fret and worry each day. Schedule your worry time. You'll find yourself less inclined to fret throughout the other 23-plus hours of the day.

7. Change your environment. Leave your existing environment and provide yourself a change of scenery. Go to the park or invest some time at the coffee shop. Spend an hour window shopping. Shake things up a bit.

8. Hang out with your pet. If you have a pet, you know how reassuring they can be. Rest on the floor and have a heart-to-heart with your pet. How could you not feel better?

9. Write in a journal. Get your anxiety out of your head and down on paper. There's something cathartic about writing when you're stressed out. Make a habit of writing about your life each day.

10. Discover the best aroma. The right scent can be relaxing. Travel to the candle store and find something that makes you feel excellent when you smell it. Or check out some of the aromatherapy oils at your local health store.

11. Find a hobby that requires concentration. It could be chess, playing the piano, or knitting. It doesn't matter what the pastime is as long as you enjoy it and it requires your complete attention. It can be a fantastic way to invest your down time.

12. Envision. Envision something positive. Fantasize about Maui or keep in mind a favorable experience from the past. Imagine your perfect day.

Dealing with stress and anxiety is necessary. Effective individuals are successful due to their ability to handle stress and anxiety effectively. When you feel fear begin to build, deal with it instantly. A high level of anxiety is very difficult to manage. 

Develop a list of methods that can be carried out rapidly when stress and anxiety first appear.

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Three Keys To Personal Power

There are three personality powers that top leaders use to increase their personal power and influence.

Your Emotions Are Contagious
The first power you can develop is enthusiasm. The more excited you are about accomplishing something that is important to you, the more excited others will be about helping you to do it. The fact is that emotions are contagious. The more passion you have for your life and your activities, the more charisma you will possess, and the more cooperation you will gain from others. Every great man or woman has been totally committed to a noble cause and, as a result, has attracted the support and encouragement of others in many cases, thousands or millions of others.

The Key to CharismaThe second personality power that you can develop is expertise, or competence. The more knowledgeable you are perceived to be in your field, the more charisma you will have among those who respect and admire that knowledge because of the impact it can have on their lives. This is also the power of excellence, of being recognized by others as an outstanding performer in your field. Men and women who do their jobs extremely well and who are recognized for the quality of their work are those who naturally attract the help and support of others. They have charisma. 

Prepare Thoroughly for Every Event
The third power of personality that gives you charisma in the eyes of others is thorough preparation, detailed preparation, prior to undertaking any significant task. Whether you are calling on a prospect, meeting with your boss, giving a public talk or making any other kind of presentation, when you are well-prepared, it becomes clear to everyone. The careers of many young people are put onto the fast track as a result of their coming to an important meeting after having done all their homework.

Get on Top of Your Subject
Whether it takes you hours or even days, if an upcoming meeting or interaction is important, take the time to get on top of your subject. Be so thoroughly prepared that nothing can faze you. Think through and consider every possibility and every ramification. Often, this effort to be fully prepared will do more to generate the respect of others than anything else you can do.

Keep Good NotesRemember that the power is always on the side of the person who has done the most preparation and has the best notes. Everything counts. Leave nothing to chance. When you do something related to your work or career, take the time to do it right the first time.

You are a work in progress. You are always growing and improving. Your job is to become the very best leader you can be, and you can – with regular and persistent practice of these personality powers.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, get excited about your goals and your work if you want others to be excited. Express your belief and commitment to others at every opportunity.

Second, dedicate yourself to a lifelong process of getting better and better at what you do. Prepare thoroughly for every event. Set an example in everything you do.

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A Guide to Motivation

Motivation and drive are the most elusive of things.

Those who naturally possess these traits are able to get ahead and cannot comprehend that others do not automatically have the need to be active and productive.

For most of us, it is something that we can learn.

Motivation is something I struggled with for many years. Procrastination was the rule. "Why do it now?" "I can do that tomorrow." Then the time passes and it turns into "it's too late to do that now".

I thought that this was the only way I'd ever be, despaired at the thought that I'd never achieve what I thought I could and I always fell back into the same pattern of "doing something about it later."

I've taught myself motivation and given myself that drive that was missing for so long. The most important thing I've learnt? It's easier than you think.

The first thing to learn is how to be productive. I came across a phrase that helped me rationalise where to start.

"Never have a zero day"

The essence of this is not allowing yourself a day where nothing is achieved. You can set the goals as small as you need to start with, do some washing up, tidy your room or file some paperwork. As long as you've done something that you can count as productive then you've avoided a zero day. You'll soon find that you're doing the small stuff automatically every day and the goals you set will become bigger. This is a great way to start your path to productivity and avoids the urge to crash out in front of the TV as soon as you finish work.

Once you've started to deal with the small stuff then you can think about taking on bigger challenges. Whatever it is that you've been avoiding starting is the next objective. The hardest part about larger challenges is that the end goal seems too remote and far away. Without the focus of immediate benefit it can be difficult to get the right mindset to even start a longer project. So how do you visualise the outcome? The short answer is that you don't. Not to start with.

I'll share a metaphor that my mother used when I was growing up, unfortunately it took me years to realise the significance!

You have a whole house to tidy. The mess in each room is overwhelming. How do you know where to start? What's the best order to do it in? Should I clean the kitchen or the living room first? It doesn't matter. You have to pick something up and put it in the right place. Again and again. Do this enough and the whole house will be tidy.

Break down the issue in to the smallest increments possible and start by completing them. The objective is not to finish the project but to start it, to be making progress towards it. This is the important part. Making progress is just as important as the end result.

This leads nicely on to the next point. I'm going to use a quote from Commander Chris Hadfield who can sum it up better than I can, and with much more authority.

"Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow, and the day after that. Look at who you want to be, and start sculpting yourself into that person."

Set yourself long term goals but don't sweat about reaching them too quickly. The important thing is putting yourself on the right path. Make good decisions about the little things and the big things will happen for you. As long as you're making progress along the path to your goal then you're doing the right think and making progress is an achievement!

Now you're on your journey to productivity, but can you stay on it?

Look back at your progress regularly. You don't need to analyse in detail every action on every day but now is the time to look at the bigger picture. Consider your position a month ago, a year ago. Has it improved? Then imagine how it will be in the future. Use this to push yourself further.

The final advise is one that I've found particularly useful recently. Give yourself productive hobbies where you are achieving goals and keep them diverse. Learn a new skill or work on existing skills, pick up a new language or a musical instrument. By being able to change what you're working on you can keep everything fresh and interesting.

It is important to realise that this isn't giving up. You can come back with a fresh outlook and more enthusiasm than you left it. But remember to never leave one thing too long or what you're working towards can disappear.

The key things to take away?

No Zero Days

Start small

Have long term goals

Review your progress

Keep it interesting!

Following this will mean that suddenly your downtime is spent improving your life rather than watching it pass by.

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How to Stop Being So Lazy: 10 Simple Habits

“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.”
Martin Luther

When I was younger, in my early twenties, I was often lazy. Too often actually.

And so I didn’t:
Get my school work done in a good way and had to cram and stress out a few days before an exam.
Work out or cook healthy food because it felt too hard and I gained 30+ pounds of weight while my fitness levels went down.
Take care of my personal growth and dreams but mostly just let all that slide to “someday” as those things remained daydreams.

10+ years later I still love lazying around and not doing much at all. But I’ve also learned how to keep that lazy time to a moderate and healthy amount instead of letting it hold me back and stuck in the same place of excuses for years like it used to.


This week I’d like to share 10 simple habits that have helped me to make that change. To stop being so lazy and get what really matters done by working smarter. While still having room for guilt-free lazy time to spend as I like.

1. Be kind to yourself.

When you feel that you’ve perhaps been too lazy lately it’s common and tempting to beat yourself up about it and to hope that will lead you to start taking action.

Sometimes it does. But I have found that beating yourself up most often just leads to feeling guiltier and like a failure. And so you feel less motivated to get going and you procrastinate because there seems to be little point in even trying.

Instead of getting stuck in that self-esteem sucking place I recommend to gently nudge yourself towards the next tip in this article whenever you feel like you want to beat yourself up.

2. Start with just a small step forward.

The hardest thing is often to simply get started.

So make that as easy as you can to reduce the inner resistance and to actually take action. Start with just taking a small step forward:
Go out running for only 3 minutes.
Do the dishes for 5 minutes.
Write on that report you’ve been procrastinating on for 10 minutes.

I use this habit almost every day in some way. I’m for example creating a new course and my daily aim over the past months has usually been to write 1 page a day. And now that the writing is done the aim as I start my day is often to edit 1 page.

That’s it. But it has never stopped at only 1 page in these months, I have written or edited a whole bunch more each day.

3. Do a small part of what matters most first thing in your day.

To feel like you can enjoy your lazy/rest time fully and without guilt it’s important to actually get what truly matters in the long run done each week.

So start your day with that. But make it easy on yourself by breaking down that task into smaller steps and then focus on just the first one.

Get on it right away to get into an effective and focused mindset.

By doing so you set a good tone for your day. You get that quick 5-10 minute win in first thing and you’ll be a lot more motivated to keep going on that path during the rest of your day.

Instead of starting with busy work like checking emails – this may be vital to do first thing for some but for many it’s probably not – or checking Facebook etc. and then 30 minutes later getting started with today’s work.

4. Cycle fully focused work with small breaks of rest/lazy time.

To lighten up your daily work inject small breaks between doing short but focused burst of work.

Say to yourself: I’ll do 20 minutes of work on this task now and then I can take 5 or 10 minutes of lazy time.

By breaking down your hours like this the work seems less daunting. And you’ll feel energetic and motivated longer and do work of better quality if you allow yourself these pauses of rest and time to lazy around on Facebook, with a game or with just relaxing in the grass or with short walk in the park.

Then, after some time, you may want to work for 40 minutes before you take a 10 minute break. But go easy on yourself at first.

And if you have trouble with sticking to your time-limits then use an app on your phone or a simple egg-timer from your kitchen.

5. Shut down the escape routes temporarily.

Just sitting down at for example your computer and trying to do fully focused work for 5 or 20 minutes may not result in any work of importance getting done.

Not if you don’t remove those things that you usually use to procrastinate.

So ask yourself: where do I usually escape to instead of doing my work?

For me it’s for example often my smart phone and checking Reddit, Twitter or random internet browsing.

So I put my phone in silent mode and I put it at the other end of our home when I work. By setting up that small physical obstacle I avoid the phone trap maybe 95% of the time.

If you:
Have the same issue with gaming then put your controller far away in your home while working.
Escape to Facebook or other websites on your computer then block that for a little while by using for example StayFocusd.
Watch TV then pull out the cords to it. Or remove one of the cords completely and put it at the other end of your home.

6. List the downsides and upsides for renewed motivation.

Asking yourself better questions tend to give better answers.

Two sets of questions that I have sat down and asked myself with closed eyes and that have refueled my motivation many times are:
How will my life look in 5 years if I just continue to stay on the same path as now?
How will life likely become worse for me and maybe even for the people around me?

This is not like beating yourself up but rather a sober examination of where it’s realistic that you’re heading. And it may be uncomfortable but try to see the negative consequences as vividly as you can in your mind to kickstart your motivation to get going for that positive change.

Then ask yourself:
How will my life look in 1 year if I get started, stick with it and keep going with this change?
How will life improve not only for me but for the people that I love if I stick with it?

7. Unclutter your life.

When your life’s too cluttered and overwhelming then you may shut down and procrastinate by lying lazily on the couch and just watching the TV or your smart phone.

When that’s the case then start uncluttering both your work hours and your private time. Two questions that have helped me to do that and to find what is most important are:
What would I work on if I only had 2 hours for work today?
If I had just 1 hour of free time today then how would I spend it?

Use these to get out of an old rut, to question your normal day a bit and to find your top priorities.

Then see what you can eliminate, minimize or perhaps delegate of the things that are not contained in your answers.

8. Be OK with stumbling from time to time.

The fear of failure can hold you back in a state of doing easier things and in what you may see as being lazy.

But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. That’s just a part of a life well lived (even if we don’t hear about people’s setbacks as often as their successes).

See a setback as a learning experience and as a way to be more constructive and kinder to yourself.

You can do that by asking yourself these two questions after you’ve stumbled:
What is 1 thing I can learn from this situation?
How would my best friend/parent support me and help me in this situation? (Then talk to yourself and do things like she or he would).

9. Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in.

Whatever you let into your mind and life will influence you. If the people you hang out the most with are generally a bit lazy about work or school then it’s easy to just adapt to that mood and way of thinking and go with it.

But if you spend more time with motivated people in real life and via books, the internet, podcasts and audio books then that will start to influence your thinking and mood too.

So think about what you let into your mind on a daily and weekly basis and if you want make a few changes to that.

10. Truly appreciate and enjoy your lazy time.

Time spent on just lazying around helps me to relax and recharge and it makes me happy.

But if I do it too much then it does become less healthy for me. It:
Starts to frustrate me because I’m not moving forward towards what I want.
Creates stress instead of relaxing me because I’m not getting what’s important done and that could have negative consequences quite soon.

Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me.

And I’ve found that when you think a little about how you want to spend your lazy time – no matter if it’s a 10 minute break or a lazy Sunday – and use that time on something you really enjoy like reading a book you love rather than aimlessly watching TV-shows you’re just OK with then that time does not only brings more happiness and fulfillment.

I’ve also learned that when I spend my lazy time in this more conscious way I’m more motivated and energized to go back to work again later on.

So I make sure to appreciate and fully enjoy the lazy time I have and create for myself because I know that it will benefit me in several important ways.

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Did You Know That You Can Build Self Confidence Through Positive Thinking?

The state of your mind dictates many aspects of your life, including your health, the success you achieve in your career, the love, and stability in your personal life, and much more. Negative thoughts lower your level of confidence, which in turn harms your mental state.

A lack of self-confidence plagues many people, though it comes in different levels. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Some people have no confidence at all, while others may exhibit a lack of it under certain situations like on dates with the opposite sex. The good news is that you can do a lot towards building your self-confidence.

By integrating positive thinking into your life, you can slowly push out these negative thoughts for good, and heighten your level of confidence.

The first step is believing that you are worthy of confidence, and that means having a healthy self-esteem where you love who you are without reservation or conditions. If self-esteem is a major issue, a good therapist can go a long way to helping in this regard.

Here are five effective ways to change your mindset and become a more confident individual.

5 Tips For Building Confidence Through Positive Thinking

No matter where you are on the spectrum of self-confidence, whether very low or somewhere in the middle or even near the top, these steps will help you reach that next level.

Self-Appraisal

The first step is building confidence is to truly become in touch with all your great qualities, talents, abilities and attributes. Who are you? What makes you a good person? What do you excel at? What is in your heart? What kind of friend are you? Are you funny? Honest? Caring? Giving? Answering these questions and literally making a list is a great beginning to identifying those things that build our confidence. How you think about yourself actually has a great deal to do with your confidence level. Many are negative thinkers by habit, one that has become engrained in us over the years, possibly starting in childhood when raised by critical parent(s). Make a list, and begin to reinforce this list to yourself daily. Include aspects of your appearance, your talents, activities that you're good at and who you truly are. Anytime you feel upset or are thinking negative thoughts, take out this list and remind yourself of your best qualities.

Self-Praise

While too much self-praise could lead to pride, a healthy dose of self-praise on a regular basis can be extremely useful for building confidence. Positive affirmations push out negative perceptions and create a stronger self-image. You should habitually praise yourself for doing something well or for a new behavior that you want to encourage. It may seem strange telling yourself, "Great job!" or "I like myself," or "I've got this!" but this is the kind of positive thinking that helps you feel better about who you are. If you are a more visual person, it may be helpful to write down a list every day of all your achievements. Meditative on the items on your list before bed, and congratulate yourself for all the achievements of the day.

Accepting Compliments

Many people with low self-esteem brush off and negate compliments with statements like, "I messed up my painting here and here" or "My shirt isn't that great, it's just the first thing I grabbed." Other people will seem to receive the compliment but then internally tell themselves why it isn't true. Compliments are confirmation from other people about your admirable qualities. You should accept the compliments with grace by simply saying "thank you," or "I so appreciate your noticing," so that your mind continuously affirms your positive traits. Stay conscious of each time you negate someone's compliment, and do better next time.

Creative Visualization Exercises

Creative visualization is becoming an increasingly popular way to help people obtain their goals. The concept calls for you to repeatedly visualize the outcome of your goal. If you are an actor, you might envision yourself holding an Oscar. If you are aiming to build your confidence, you may want to envision an action that represents confidence from your own perspective. It could be something like leading a meeting with top executives or asking for a raise. Through creative visualization, you are building confidence by mentally preparing yourself for your desired outcome(s).

Positive People

Do you have a friend or acquaintance who continually brings you down, whether intentionally or unintentionally? You may want to consider whether that person should remain in your life. Even if the person is family, you need to separate yourself from that person however possible. If he or she isn't respecting you, then he or she will have to understand that you two can no longer associate until respect is part of the relationship. This may sound harsh, but negative people have one of the strongest, if not the strongest, impact on your self-confidence. While it may be difficult to let go of that relationship, it is a necessary step towards building your self-confidence.

Remember, building your confidence is not going to happen overnight. Integrate these tips into your life, and over time, you will see change. The most important point to remember is that positive thinking is key to building confidence. Whenever you feel the negative thoughts creeping in, turn them around into something positive.

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How To Experience Happiness When Your Goal Seems Far Away

Your Journey through Life

Life, in its entirety is short, but looking ahead, the future seems so far away for some of us. In fact, for most of us, the hope of actually reaching that expected future decreases as we encounter different obstacles along the way.

You’ve been told to follow your passion. With this inner energy, you then break all bridges leading to your past or to things and people that’ll slow you down. And you launch forward, with all the strength and optimism you’ve got inside you.

But you do all this with one expectation in mind, “I can’t wait to truly become happy”. For some reason, you believe that it is only when you have attained that expected future that you can really live that happy lifestyle you’ve always wanted.

The truth is that happiness should not be a goal, but a lifestyle. Life is too short for you to want to attain happiness. You need to live it!

A trip isn’t interesting because of the destination, but because of the journey itself. Sometimes, if you get to your destination too fast, you miss out on all the fun the trip has to offer.

Here are three reasons you want to take your time, smell the roses and experience happiness all the way through your journey of life.


1. You’ll See Disappointment as Feedback

Failure and disappointment is simply feedback which tells you that you’re probably doing something wrong. But if you struggle through life with an unhappy mindset, failure will become a sign to stop whatever it is you’re doing and go back to your old life.

As a guy with a dominant Melancholy temperament, disappointment didn’t mean that I had to rethink or retrace my steps. I personalised failure, and as a result, regular depression was my interpretation of a “normal life”. It wasn’t until I discovered what I had passion for that I started to see hope at the end of the tunnel. But seeing it wasn’t enough.

On the road to success, failure is inevitable (the gurus have told us that multiple times). But your thought process determines just how you perceive that failure. Someone with a negative mindset would start to “see himself as a failure”, just as I did. Whereas having a positive mindset about life makes you see failure as a sign to “retrace your steps and re-strategize”.

Following your passion demands that you have the hope and happiness that comes with it. Why? This is because although you may not attain that dream as fast as you want it, the expectation of achievement is what then makes you happy. It is having that end goal in mind that helped me see disappointment as just mere diversions off course. This is how it should be.


2. Bumps in the Road Become Opportunities to Explore

“An opportunity is a gift, but it often comes in ugly wrappers called disappointments”

Imagine this scenario:

“You and your friends decide to cross the border to Mexico, so you get on the bus. Halfway through the trip, one of the tyres at the front of the bus goes flat. After a successful manoeuvre to the side of the road, all heads turn to the driver and he says, ‘Sorry, you’ll have to stay here and wait a while. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen because I don’t have a spare. I’ll have to walk back a few miles to town and get something. I’m so sorry.’”

Now that’s a major error! Three things can happen here:
You can gang up and beat up the driver to a pulp for his carelessness
Raise your voice at him until you develop a headache
Get out of the bus and use your enthusiasm and youthful energy to do something fun for the next few hours (don’t ask me what)

Beating up the driver is like breaking the bridge to your future, so that you never get there. Insulting him is like believing yourself to be a failure and allowing negative thoughts to weigh you down. Exploring friendship and doing something fun means your happiness on the inside is not determined by your attainment of certain external conditions, which at present, may not be favourable.


3. You Attain Your Passion with Quality Relationships

Whenever you go on a trip, you always meet someone new. And you can either make this person smile, or piss him off. Following your passion and pursuing your life goals is like the bus trip But at this point, would you prefer to come down the bus alone, without any friends, or would you prefer to say to someone, “Hey, since we’re here now, can you show me around? Let’s have some fun together”.

Having a bad attitude and approach towards life can cause you to repel everyone around you. In your own mind, you’re working towards attaining happiness at the end of the tunnel. But to the people around you, you’re just one unhappy person who thinks you can do it all on your own.

On the road to achieving your dreams, you need to find fulfilment at every step of the way. It’s this fulfilment that causes you to experience happiness. And regardless of your passion, fulfilment always comes when you’ve made the life of someone else better. It comes with the achievement of purpose.

So, is there any blueprint to continually staying happy? None that I know of (except for this model and this framework developed by Brendan). But here are a few things you should do.


1. Stop Taking Life Too Seriously

“Life waits for no man. So why wait to get pissed over what it gives to you?”

Being able to see disappointment as what they really are (mere diversions) has helped me see life as what it really is (an adventure to be explored).

For every time you wait to mull over some disappointment or mishap, the clock ticks away. And for every time you take an offence to heart for something done to you by a friend, a part of you feels sad, not happy.

I was once scolded by a friend for “taking things too seriously”. Being the kind of person I was, it was only normal to analyse situations and judge people based on my knowledge of them. But this kind of criticism made me see the imperfections in people and what life gave me in return was constant heartbreak; because neither man nor situation is perfect.

Life has a knack of handing over crap to us. You can choose to stand in one spot and complain about that crap, or you can shove it right back at life and move on with better things. Sooner or later, it’ll realise that you’re not the kind of person to mess with and will eventually give you what you deserve.


2. Focus on the Present with an Open Mind

“Anxiety gets you nowhere. It only gives you something to think about.”

With the future seeming so far off, it’s possible to get anxious along the way. Focusing too much on the future can make you take irrational steps in the present due to anxiety. While it is important to dream big, it is also necessary to think in small steps.

Being able to cherish short accomplishments at different times helped me change different beliefs I had about life. At one time, a short term goal of mine was to be able to “talk with a friend for 30 minutes without getting boring.” While this may sound awkward, I needed to achieve it, especially if I was going to talk with a group of people for hours and still keep them interested. This goal was hard for me on many occasions, but when I did achieve it, it left a mark- a positive mark.

Multiple short term goals lead to the ultimate long term goal. Every short term goal is an opportunity to experience happiness, as long as you have an open mind. Work towards each short term goal with an open mind that doesn’t see failure as a hindrance but as a red light that tells you to stop and rethink.


3. Stay Positive and Smile at Every Little Accomplishment

“Replenish your positive energy every step of the way because no one will do it for you.”

On your journey to success and complete freedom, you’ll need to stay positive all the way (I’m sure you knew that). Positive thinking is not optional. It’s like the background ingredient that makes everything work.

By accomplishing each specific short term goal, you become fulfilled, especially when it’s aligned with your purpose. And when this happens, learn to smile at yourself. Smiling not only gives you the pride of achievement, it also creates positive beliefs, such as the belief that “if I could achieve this goal, then I can achieve every other one”. And for years now, this has been a belief that has helped me build quality relationships. That’s positivity, fulfilment and the experience of happiness in one smile.


For the Comments

On the journey to fulfilling your dreams, what makes you happy? Do you believe that it’s possible to experience happiness even before attaining your desired goals in life? I’d love to know what you think.

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