How To Build Your Confidence Fast

A lack of self-confidence can come from such a variety of different origins that it's almost impossible to track down.

Gaining self-confidence doesn't have a one size fits all solution.

Although people sometimes experience traumatic events that result in a catastrophic loss of self-confidence, often it's more a case of a continual buildup of experiences that erode a person's confidence. Even in the case of a traumatic event, the event is usually just the final straw.

Building confidence back up, then, requires fighting fire with fire: an accumulation of different efforts.

Maybe you know someone who took up karate, sky diving or lawn bowling and went from painfully shy and anxious to social butterfly. If that's the case, examine their lives carefully. Just like the final straw might be the ultimate in a series of debilitating experiences, so the reverse may be true.

One activity or event may act as the catalyst that sparks off a series of experiences that all help to grow self-confidence. For example, maybe as that person grew confident in their ability at karate, then they had the confidence to start aiming for and hitting other, smaller goals, that eventually rebuilt their self-confidence.

Before getting started with confidence building activities, it's important to revisit the idea that emotions are temporary. True, some may last weeks, months or years - but they are not a permanent blight on your wellbeing. Complicated emotions that feed insecurity are like these.

The first thing you can do to start on the path to becoming the self-confident person you have always wanted to be and let that inner beast out is to decide to do something about it and follow through.

Habitual behavior forms your thoughts. That's why following through is so important. By continually deciding to do something about your situation but not following through, you are telling your brain that following through with action is not important.

The brain is a complicated neural processor - like a computer. Remember that a computer will only give you information based on what you input. Telling your brain that taking action to relieve your self-confidence crisis isn't important enough to you to do is the same as telling it that you are happy with the low mood it is outputting.

No matter how you choose to slowly boost your confidence, remember that confidence and competence goes hand-in-hand. So try to find a couple of activities to do to increase your skill on certain areas of your life, practice them consistently, focus on the positive outcomes and you will raise your confidence baseline as time goes by.

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How To Break-Free From People Pleasing

Have you ever truly felt "Approved"? I won't be surprised if you answered "No" to that question. Because most of us don't feel "Approved" enough to cause us to believe it. And as a result we go through life feeling "wrong", "insecure" and "rejected" thereby losing our self-confidence and developing low self-esteem. In fact, not feeling approved can leave us so empty and hungry inside that we may eventually seek to satisfy ourselves by doing things we think will cause others to like us, affirm us and approve us, thus becoming an "Approval Addict"!

I am sure you would agree that trying to impress others is exhausting! It minimizes your own importance and individuality, which could be very damaging to you in the long run. The good news is that you no longer have to continue to find worth, validation or value in other people's approval. You don't need to suffer any longer with insecurity or rejection. You don't have to strive to please others while feeling miserable yourself. There is a cure for the approval addiction. Here are a few quick and easy steps to get you started!

Give your opinion freely. Give your opinion, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Start with smaller things like what you'd like to eat or which movie you'd like to see or how you'd like to spend your time.

Avoid judging others. Check if you are constantly judging others in a variety of situations? Notice your thoughts. If you are overly critical of others, it's only natural that you assume others are the same towards you. By avoiding this type of behavior in yourself, you will drop the assumption that everyone else is judging you. Just allow others to be as they are. It makes life more interesting. Sit back and enjoy the differences.

Be aware that disapproval could be a manipulation tool. Knowing this can free you from seeking the approval of others. In many cases, they are just in the game for themselves.

"If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator needs do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game."- Harriet B. Braiker

Many people use disapproval as a means of getting what they want and trying to control others. They may disapprove of your opinion, clothing, hairstyle, or anything else to enjoy the fruits of your submission. If someone disapproves you, ask him or her to explain. Remember that most negative people are looking for a victim, not a fight. When you stand up for yourself, many of the bullies disappear.

Don't be bothered by what someone thinks of you. We seem to be born with an intense desire to "fit in". But just because someone does not approve of you it doesn't mean that you are undesirable. It could actually be more about them than about you. It is true that you might suffer from a little bit of anxiety when feeling unaccepted but if you just hold your ground that too shall pass.

"You will never gain anyone's approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows." - Mandy Hale

Fill your life with things that are important. Spend quality times on things you enjoy to do or that are meaningful to you. This is sure going to make you very happy and content. You are going to absolutely love that freedom of being yourself!

Being overly concerned about the opinions of others is damaging to your self-esteem. Each time you seek approval, you are diminishing your own importance. You are causing yourself pain. Your opinion matters! You matter! Allow your individuality to be seen and experienced by others.

"A balanced inner calmness radiates from a peaceful center. It neither craves others' approval nor rejects others' presence. It neither pulls towards nor pushes away. It has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants." - Donna Goddard

I Look Forward To Hearing From You!

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4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Motivation

How do you defeat the self-inflicted agony that each one of us as humans have felt at some point or another? How do you work through the pain that hurts so much to the point that we don’t want to deal with it anymore? How do you not give up?


Here’s how:

Step 1—Understand that you’re not alone and the feeling isn’t permanent.

The first step towards crawling back to taking control of your life when you’re on the verge of giving up is really just remembering that you’re not the only person who has felt hopeless, all of us understand what you’re feeling and where you’re coming from. We’ve all been there, and chances are that we’ll each be there again, so it really is kind of about understanding that it happens to everyone, and even more importantly, these moods and feelings come and go in waves. Just because you feel down and without motivation right now doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. It may be gone tomorrow, it may be gone a week from now or a month from now, but it is temporary.

Step 2—Start believing in yourself.

You have the power to let go of negative beliefs about yourself. You also have the power to create positive beliefs that will empower you rather than hinder you. The point of feeling like you want to give up comes from becoming the victim of the negativity of your own internal dialogue. You want to give up because the conversation that takes place in your head tells you you aren’t good enough, you’re not competent, you don’t have it in you, and that maybe what you’re doing isn’t worth the reward you’re expecting. These are problems that we all face as humans on a daily basis simply because our minds are neurotic; they’re negative, and we believe them.

In order to start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing what your mind says. Stop believing the negativity that plays out in your mind and start to laugh at it. You have the power to let go of negative beliefs, and at the same time create positive beliefs that are self-empowering.

Step 3—Start changing your life in ways that will reflect a change in your attitude.

You are the things that you do on a daily basis. If you want your life to change, if you want your moods to change, if your attitude to get better or your motivation to be higher, you have to begin changing your daily actions in a way that will exhibit change in your life.

For me, the way I stay motivated when I’m feeling down is by starting to do daily habits that are difficult, that challenge me and help me grow my willpower. Not only do you feel accomplished when you take on challenging habits, but you are literally strengthening your willpower.

It really is about keeping your energy levels high, and challenging yourself with difficult habits. Developing these habits will help you deal with the negativity that drains you physically, mentally and emotionally.
What are these habits?

Waking up early helps me take time to enjoy my life, and focus on the actions I know are necessary to accomplish my goals. When you become a morning person, you begin to feel empowered, accomplished, and you create time for yourself while the rest of the world is still asleep and there are no distractions.

Meditating is a very important habit that really will help you understand the negative thoughts you have. It will help you begin to separate from those thoughts with the understanding that you are not your thoughts. When you believe your negative thoughts and identify with them, you have no power, you feel horrible about yourself and you will lack motivation. Start to understand your own negativity by meditating for just a few minutes a day and you will find that your motivation levels rise instantly.

Reading is another integral habit that helps keep me motivated. I read about people who have been successful in life; people who seemingly have infinite motivation within them to do everything they set out to do. There’s nothing more motivating than learning from successful individuals who have detailed accounts about what kept them going and how they were able to stay strong in difficult times. You and I are no different and we can take lessons from successful, motivated people and implement those strategies in our own lives.

Step 4—Surround yourself with people who exhibit qualities that you want to possess.
The most important thing you need to do in order to keep yourself motivated and positive is surround yourself with people who you want to be like rather than surrounding yourself with people who are just like you. We become the people we hang out with, and I like to say that we’re an average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people that are just like you, you will never change. But if you begin to surround yourself with motivated, positive people that are go-getters, you too will become a positive person with proper motivation who is a go getter.
Conclusion

Don’t give up. When you’re about to give up is the point where its most important to show up with strength and not give into the difficulty you’re facing. Just remember, this is temporary, you’re not alone, change is possible, and you have the strength in you to live the life you want.


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