Five Steps to Transform Your Anger

If we lose objectivity due to our anger, we lose control of ourselves and the situation. There are five steps we can take to transform our anger into something positive and constructive.

Step #1: Disengage from the Situation

When we disengage, we focus on the results we want while we cool down. We can either physically remove ourselves from the situation or take an emotional time out. Disengaging is not the same as withdrawal, which is in effect a power play that involves resisting the other person's feelings. It is simply a way to keep defensiveness from escalating.

Disengaging means setting aside differences temporarily and being willing to address them at a later time. It is taking a time-out to reflect, reduce the tension, and let our emotions settle.

At the same time, it is important to assure the other person they will get to have their say. Setting a specified time to renew the discussion is one way to communicate our intention to deal with the issues. The effect of this is to acknowledge the other person's point of view (and their worth) without saying we will agree with them.

To effectively disengage, we need to make two basic assumptions:

1. that our own competence is not in question, and

2. that we are not being personally attacked.

Step #2: Defuse Anger

Anger is almost always accompanied by self-talk that focuses on what seems unfair or hurtful, an unmet expectation, how upset we are, or how we are going to react. To defuse anger, we need to rewrite that script.

Try to discover the thoughts that are fueling your anger. Then test each thought:

· Is it based on observable facts?

· Is it giving you good ideas to calm yourself and resolve the problem you face?

· Is it free of distortion?

If you answer "no" to any of these three questions, your thinking is likely making the situation worse and should be discarded.

Step #3: Determine the Desired Positive Outcome

Our goal is to find a more positive yet rational view of the situation. We need to focus on realistic expectations for this person or situation based on past behavior. Then we need to create a plan for what we will do next time rather than getting angry or inappropriately expressing our anger.

A good plan is specific and describes actions that we will take. It is under our control and its outcome can be measured. Having a plan increases our sense of control and will actually reduce any anger arousal that might potentially be triggered.

In order to create your plan, place the unpleasant situation in the context of current and past factual events that are more acceptable to you. Then reevaluate it in the light of less threatening facts that help you understand another person's actions. Review your own strengths and consider what you need to help you cope with this situation.

Step #4: Discover the Other Person's Needs

Effective listening can make us more competent, defuse anger in others, help us understand others, win respect, and build self-esteem in others. Inquiring about the other person's concerns and listening actively can help build a foundation of mutual trust.

When we feel the need to criticize people or correct their behavior, it helps to remember what it is like to be on the other side. To empathize is to figuratively put ourselves in the other person's place.

It is also useful to empathize when we feel we're being personally attacked and are about to become defensive ourselves. If we try to understand what may have motivated the other person's behavior, we may be less likely to react in a way that escalates the situation.

Step #5: Discuss Mutual Needs and Desired Outcomes

When we communicate our feelings, needs and goals to the other person, we want to do it in an assertive win-win problem-solving manner that is least likely to generate a defensive response.

A powerful, non-defensive way to do this is through "I statements." Beginning with "I statements" says we are taking responsibility for our communication. The statements often begin with the words "I feel."

James Creighton suggests following up "I feel" with words that describe our emotions, followed by a description of the precipitating event, and then its tangible or emotional impact.

An example is: "I feel (I statement) angry (emotion) that I had to look all over for the car keys (precipitating event). Because it took so much time, I was late for my appointment (tangible impact).

An example in the workplace might be: "I feel (I statement) upset (emotion) that I did not receive your marketing budget on time (precipitating event). Because it was late, I will need to rewrite the proposal (tangible impact)."

According to communications trainer Robert Bolton, at least 90 percent of non-blaming messages that describe tangible effects result in the other person trying to resolve the problem.

To skillfully disclose our concerns to the other person, we also need to avoid the use of words and phrases that convey absolutes, such as "never," "always," and "absolutely certain." They will most often trigger a defensive response.

There are times when we need to inquire to uncover the concerns of the other person. Asking questions allows us to focus on our task rather than our disagreement. After we inquire, we need to listen carefully, giving the other person our complete attention.

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7 Reasons to Be Careful When Choosing Friends & How to Do So

The following goes without saying;

THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU SURROUND YOURSELF HAVE A GREAT IMPACT ON WHO YOU BECOME IN LIFE.

The opinions of your friends are often more important than those of other people, even your family members. That’s why it’s in your interest to choose your friends wisely. They can be the reason why you succeed or fail in achieving your life goals.

7 Reasons to Be Careful Choosing Friends

Here are 7 reasons why you should be careful when choosing friends and how to enjoy long-lasting friendships that add plenty of value to your life.


1. Your friends have a great influence over you

When it comes to your emotions and moods, the influence of your friends is unparalleled.

If you’re spending a great time with your friends, your mood is bound to improve. If their remarks make you feel bad, your mood will inevitably decline.

A research study published in 2014 demonstrated that friends tend to bond when providing one another with moral support intended to resist a temptation. Still, sometimes friends would become partners in crime when it came to indulging together.

Friends help bring out the best in you, there’s no doubt about it. But they can easily influence you in a way that might pose a problem to other areas of your life.

That’s why it should be your objective to find people that make you feel good. If you surround yourself with negative people, you stand no chance at being happy thanks to these relationships. Cut out the negative friends from your life and you’ll instantly feel better.

2. You’ll grow with strong-willed friends


If you surround yourself with people who are very self-disciplined, you’re bound to become more immune to the various temptations that prevent you from staying on track.

Research shows that when people can’t quite manage to control their schedules, they often look for help among the self-disciplined people in their lives. Nothing gives a boost to your willpower like a strong-willed friend.

You need self-control in order to reach your long-term goals. That’s why you should avoid befriending people who aren’t strong willed and instead choose those who have a lot of willpower. That’s the secret to maintaining healthy habits and paving the road to success.


3. They help build you up for success
When a friend encourages you, you’ll feel as if you could achieve just about anything in the world. Friends are the people having your back as you push forward toward your goal by offering plenty of positive reinforcement.

With the support of your friends, you’ll have a greater chance at succeeding. That’s why choosing the wrong friends is so dangerous to your success. Instead of encouraging you, they’re more likely to put your down.

Avoid people who don’t respect your choices or constantly express skepticism about your ideas. Real friends will always support you, no matter how crazy your idea is and will only withdraw their support when they believe that you might do yourself harm.


4. Wrong friends can cause you to be counter-productive

A toxic friend is a serious threat to your success.

A friend who constantly makes negative comments about your goals and dreams will only distract your from them. In the end, you’ll have to work harder towards achieving your objectives.

If you think that you’ll fail, the chances are high that you will. And if a friend brings you down, you’re in for trouble.

Spot any friends who are happy to sit back and provide a fresh dose of criticism every time you two meet? Avoid them for your own good, don’t expect them to say anything nice to you.


5. Close friends are the secret to living a long and happy life

According to a study from by Australia’s Flinder’s University, adults who have close friends are likely to live longer. Researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends would outlive their counterparts by 22%.

Friendship is healthy. And you should definitely seek out the company of other people.

But be careful while doing that. You don’t want to end up with a friend who instead of making you healthy and balanced makes you nervous and unhappy. Friends are supposed to contribute to your well-being – and research shows that they can do that in a significant way.

That’s why you should be wise to choose friends who genuinely care about you. If you feel good at the mere thought of meeting them, it’s a sign they could be one of these friends who boost your longevity.


6. Friends can inspire you
Having someone around who is genuinely interested in what you’re doing is quite amazing.

Your friends should cheer for you and be invested in your life (naturally, this type of engagement goes both ways). It’s important that they’re like this, because the opinion of your friends will matter to you.

Every time they make an effort to take an interest in your life, it gives you an extra boost of support. Friends can inspire you to work harder towards achieving your goal, or make sure that you’re sticking to your resolutions.

If your friends aren’t doing any of that, they’re not real friends. They simply don’t care about your path and don’t want to be part of your journey towards success.


7. Friends can can serve as an example for you

Choosing great friends is beneficial if you need a push to start doing something on your own. Friends easily serve as examples, providing your with plenty of motivation to achieve your goals.

When you see how happy your friends are when pursuing their objectives, you’ll want to follow suit and be productive as well. Their good behaviors will rub off on you.

However, if your friends do nothing but drink beer and watch television, you’re more likely to join them and spend your time on the couch just to keep them company. Their habits will inevitably influence your habits and before you know it, you’ll become a couch potato too.

That’s why you should be wise when choosing who to befriend. Pick a friend with good habits, and their presence is bound to make your life more exciting.
Summary

Surrounding yourself with people who are like you and want to achieve something in of their life is critical.

Great friends will motivate you and support your dreams. That’s why you should value your existing friendships and handle new ones with care.

These 7 reasons should make it clear why it’s worth to be careful when choosing friends to accompany you throughout your life.
Has this article helped you to choose your friends more wisely? Leave a comment below.

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How to Get over Your Fear of Public Speaking

At some point in your business career, you’re going to need to start presenting and selling to crowds. You’re going to need to learn how to influence groups of people.

Most importantly, you will need to communicate the value of what you’re offering in such a way that at the end, the crowd is pulling out their credit cards ready to buy.

It’s one of the most powerful skills you can possess as an entrepreneur, and it’s what separates the top earners from the masses. But for a lot of people, just the thought of speaking to an audience (let alone selling) terrifies them.


And you know what? I get it.

See, in high school and college, when the teacher said “Class, we’re going to do an oral assignment,” my heart immediately started pounding from anxiety. I was the guy who’d mysteriously be sick on the day it was due, unable to make it to class. Some years later, I got into internet marketing (late 2008) and I remember going to a live event in the suburbs of Perth with about 100 other strangers.

There were five different speakers who got up on stage and pitched their direct sales business, which I’d been looking at joining for a few weeks. I left that event feeling completely deflated: “If this is what it takes to be successful in this industry—getting up on stage and delivering live sales presentations—,” I thought, “then I have absolutely no hope!”

For years after I started my business, I avoided delivering live sales presentations at all costs. You couldn’t even get me to do a webinar, even though I’d be able to hide behind my computer.

Eventually, the loss in potential income that this avoidance was causing me began to outweigh my fear. So I forced myself to start doing public sales presentations. No matter how uncomfortable I felt, I’d consciously put myself in a position where I had no other choice but to deliver the presentation.

Since then, I’ve sold tens of millions of dollars worth of programs through public presentations.

Chances are that you will also need to sell to a live audience at some point. Here are the four most important lessons I’ve learned, which may help make it easier for you:
Don’t Write and Memorize a Script

What’s everyone’s greatest fear about speaking in front of others? It’s that when they get up there, they’ll forget what to say, that their brain will freeze and they’ll mumble and stumble and otherwise look like a fool.

So what do most people do? They write a script. If you write it down and memorize it, then you won’t have to be quick on your feet and your speech will become some sort of reflex or muscle memory. It’ll be as easy as hitting play on your iPod. Or so goes the theory.

I don’t recommend this approach for anyone because when you memorize a speech, your presentation ends up sounding stiff and rehearsed. It’s less likely to connect with your audience, which means you’re also less likely to make sales.
Use the “Table of Contents” Method

Think of your presentation as being a story you tell your audience. But instead of writing and memorizing an entire story, your notes will be more like a story’s table of contents—a couple of lines to remind you of what the entire “chapter” is about, so you don’t have to memorize a lot of material.

So, think of all the points you want to cover and then create a PowerPoint with just a line or two of notes on each slide.

Then, start practicing but instead of just reading off the slides, you should elaborate on each point and then fill in the talk off the top of your head. The first time around, you’ll find yourself starting and stopping, with a bunch of awkward pauses and do-overs. Don’t worry, take a break and go back to it. Try a few sessions throughout the day and let the ideas and different turns of phrases percolate a bit.

By the end of the day, you’ll find that you’ve more or less memorized the speech, but in a much more organic way than if you had memorized it word for word. It won’t necessarily be exactly the same each time you make the presentation, but that’s okay. You’ll know how to transition between each slide and you’ll give a more natural, authentic and truly live presentation.
Learn to Let Go

Whenever I feel uncomfortable about an upcoming talk, it’s often because there’s a particular point in it or a slide with something on it that I don’t feel 100% on board with. It may also be something that I’m trying to get a certain reaction from the crowd with. Sometimes it’s just the phrasing of something. For instance, a friend who listens to your talk may zero in on something they think the audience will misunderstand (though you know that only a fraction of the audience will likely be affected).

What should you do with these thoughts about how your talk will be interpreted? Forget ’em. Let go of the minutiae and share what you have. It’s about how you say it and not necessarily what you say. So don’t let the actual phrasing stress you out.
PowerPoint Doesn’t Give the Presentation

It may be a tempting “security blanket” to fill your PowerPoint slides with content and then read it word for word to your audience.

That will only be slightly less exciting for your audience as hearing a memorized speech. It’s annoying and also implies that they are not smart enough to read the slides for themselves.

Don’t do it.

Instead, put a little bit of info on each slide and make the font size large. Then focus on your delivery and engage your crowd directly.

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How To Make A Good First Impression That Everyone Remembers

Making a great first impression is imperative to building great relationships and success.

The ancient Greeks spent a lot of time thinking and writing about the effect of one personality on another.

They broke down the process of communication into three parts, which they called ethos, pathos, and logos.

The ethos of communication is defined as the ethical part. This revolves around the person you really are and, more important, the person you are perceived to be.

If you are in sales or business, the way you are perceived by someone, which will largely determine the influence you have over him or her, will be strongly affected by your level of credibility, your ethos.

In the area of personal credibility, the rule is that everything counts. Everything you do or don’t do either adds to or takes away from your credibility and your capability to influence someone.

Ethos is very important.
The Importance Of First Impressions

You’ve heard it said that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.

The fact is that when you first meet a person, he makes a judgment about you in approximately four seconds, and his judgment is finalized largely within 30 seconds of the initial contact.

In a survey of the members of the American Personnel Consultants those men and women who are responsible for hiring people for large companies generally agreed that they made their decision to hire or not to hire a person within 30 seconds of the first meeting.Everything contributing to the way you look on the outside is important.

If it’s not helping you, it’s hurting you.

While you cannot control your physical features, you have total control over your dress and grooming. In fact, we generally assume that a person consciously and deliberately makes a personal statement about himself with every part of his appearance that he can affect in any way.

Your clothes are responsible for 95% of the first impression that you make on someone because, in most instances, your clothes cover 95% of your body.

Your grooming, your hair style and the other ways you can determine your appearance from the neck up also exert an inordinate influence on the way that you are perceived, on your ethos with someone. Your accessories all make a statement that will or will not help to put you in a position to influence someone.
How To Make A Great First Impression

Now, here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, take complete control over every detail of your personal appearance and grooming. Resolve to look like a powerful, influential person in all your business activities.

Second, study fashion and proper dress so you know exactly what to wear and in what combination. Read a book, take a seminar or even hire an image consultant.

Small changes in your appearance can change your life.

Before we wrap up, I’d like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers:

“Making a great first impression is imperative to becoming an influential leader.”

Now I’d love to hear from you. What other aspects do you feel help you make a good first impression?

Leave a comment below and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

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How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

You’re an introvert.

You don’t have a boisterous personality. You’ve never seen an actual popularity contest, but you are certain if you were in one, that you wouldn’t win. Clearly, you aren’t cut out to be a leader.

Are you?

That depends. If one were to believe the depiction of leaders that exists in movies, television, books, and the classroom, the answer to that question might be yes.

After all, based on the typical portrayal of a leader, aren’t the brash, outgoing, forceful, outspoken, and charismatic? How can a person without these characteristics be an effective leader?
How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

Here’s the truth. You can be a great leader without possessing the nature or personality traits of the stereotypical leader that has been presented to you. You have innate leadership qualities.

You just have to figure out what they are, and how you can use them.

Try to answer the following questions, and you might discover these qualities within yourself.

1. Are you willing to come in early and stay late?

You may have received messaging that tells you that good leaders get people to perform by having a commanding presence.

This isn’t true.

Successful leaders earn the respect of their teams when they lead by example. This means demonstrating the willingness to put in the same work that your team puts in.

If you are willing to put in the same long hours that your team must work, you’ve already established some leadership abilities.


2. Will you step in when a team member needs help?

Shouldn’t true leaders model adherence to firm expectations?


Shouldn’t they demand that team members overcome their own struggles and contribute effectively?

Doesn’t that help equal enabling?

You might think that your desire to help people around you is a weakness. It is not. When you help somebody, you aren’t modelling being taken advantage of.

You aren’t modelling permitting irresponsibility.

“AS A LEADER, YOUR ABILITY TO RECOGNISE AND STEP IN TO HELP SOMEBODY IS PRICELESS.”

By doing so, you are communicating the message that each member of the team that is important, and that it is okay to model teamwork and cooperation.


3. Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?

Good leaders are task oriented.

Great leaders are also task oriented but they balance that with true concern for the development and well being over everybody on their team.

If you have a natural tendency to try and help your team find their talents and discover how and where they can contribute, that is a great sign that that you have the ability to lead your team and boost morale.


4. Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?

Sometimes, the best thing that a leader can offer is quiet yet sincere advocacy both for the ideas that they believe in, or for the people on their teams.

If you have the ability and the willingness to do this, you are already well on your way to becoming a leader.

If people know that you are willing to stand up for them and protect their interests, they will be more willing to follow your lead and believe in your leadership abilities.


5. Would you rather seek consensus than victory?

It is a common misconception that a great leader is always seeking victory when it comes to disagreements and confrontations.

This is untrue.

“GOOD LEADERS RECOGNISE THAT WINNING BATTLES OFTEN RESULTS IN HURT FEELINGS AND RESENTMENTS.”

These things can have a negative impact on morale and future interactions with the parties who ended up on the losing side of the confrontation.

If your natural instinct is to find common ground and work towards solutions that benefit everybody, and that make everybody feel good about the resolution, you have one of the most important leadership qualities that there is.






6. Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Not only do good leaders seek compromise and consense wherever there is controversy, they also know that it is often wise to avoid controversy altogether.

Many people believe that conflict avoidance is something that others will take as a sign of weakness.

In reality, this couldn’t be further than the truth. Think about it. Everybody knows at least one person who continually is at battle with somebody over something.

They seemingly cannot let anything go, and so they move from one confrontation to another. It is very rare to see these types of people in leadership positions, and when they are in leadership positions, they are often seen as bullies.

Somebody who has innate leadership skills wisely chooses their battles. The result is that when they do decide to take a firm stance on something, that stance is usually respected.


7. Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?

A great leader is primarily focused on the development of others.

This means overseeing their growth and training as employees, ensuring that they are happy and fulfilled with the work that they are doing, and ensuring that they are recognised for their accomplishments.

“ALL TOO OFTEN, WHEN A TEAM IS SUCCESSFUL, ALL OF THE PRAISE AND CREDIT GOES TO THE PERSON AT THE TOP.”

A great leader doesn’t let that happen. They ensure that everybody involved receives specific and meaningful credit for their contributions.

If you have a tendency to pass compliments on to others, it can be a sign that you recognise the importance of giving credit where credit is due.
Summary

As you can see, there is every bit as much value in quiet, competent leadership as there is in a loud and brash leadership style.

In fact, in many cases, quiet leaders who truly care about their teams, work as hard as they demand others to work, and are willing to take principled stands, are more respected than their often demanding and confrontational counterparts.

So, if you are an introvert, contemplative in nature, and have a quiet demeanour, don’t assume that leadership is not in the cards for you. The truth is, these characteristics may be signs that your innate leadership skills are much stronger than you realise.
Let us quickly recap on the questions featured in this article:
Are you willing to come in early and stay late?
Will you step in when a team member needs help?
Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?
Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?
Would you rather seek consensus than victory?
Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?



If you would like to develop your leadership skills, you can make the effort to find ways to act as a leader where you are right now.

You don’t need a promotion or a title to be a leader. You can mentor co-workers, be a source of practical and emotional support, and simply be willing to work just a bit harder than is expected of you.

You can also find your voice by learning to express your ideas and to advocate for yourself and the people working with you.
Is there anything to like to comment on about this article? Leave a comment below.

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10 Reasons to Stop Watching Television

In this article, we’ll look at the effects that TV has on people, and some of the scary facts that you might not be aware of. Most importantly, we’ll go through the top 10 reasons to stop watching television.

How many hours on average do people watch TV per day?

According to Statistic Brain, the average person watches 5 hours and 11 minutes of television per day. Wow, that’s a lot of television!

So out of the 24 hours we have per day, more than 1/5th of it on average is spent in front of the TV. And if you add on top 7 or 8 hours sleeps, that doesn’t really leave too much of the day left to get things done.

What effect does television have on people?

Despite the effect it has of people not get anything productive done, television can have an effect on people’s minds, causing them to think differently. You can see more info on this when we get into the reasons to stop watching TV below.

10 Reasons to Stop Watching Television

So now you’re about to read a bunch of reasons from myself as to why you need to stop watching television. Then 90% of you after you’ve finished reading will go and sit yourself down in front of your favorite TV program.

Here are the 10 most obvious reasons to stop watching television:


1. Watching Too Much TV is Wasting Time

How much time are you wasting watching TV?

Well, the answer is above (5 hours and 11 minutes every day). Is that amount the time you’re actually wasting though?

If you’re watching things that are educational and beneficial towards your interested and goals, then that time is probably not all wasted. But, for the most of us who watch random TV series’, we may well be wasting all our time.

Think about it, what happens when you turn the TV off after 3 hours of watching some random US sitcom?

Sure, you could say you’re more relaxed because of it, but 3 hours of the stuff? Does it really relax you that much?

There’s so much more you could be doing instead of watching television. Think about all the goals you could be working towards and achieving instead of looking at a screen.



2. TV Provides Unrealistic Expectations

TV is not real life.

Sure, you may be able to watch the news, or documentaries about people’s lives. However, the likelihood is that the news is exaggerated and intimidates people for no reason, or the documentaries are actually again exaggerated and fake.

But I’ll get into that a little later on in the article.

Television provides unrealistic expectations because of all the random scenarios and situations portrayed, that would never be the case in real life. Either portrayed in movies, sitcoms or other programs.

For those of us looking to becoming successful in life and make something of ourselves, these programs can often put illusions in our minds as to what’s required to make it in life. Or, they end up putting false limits in our mind of what’s actually possible for us.



3. TV Puts Your Health At Risk

The scientific link between the amount of TV watched and obesity has been proven.

People who have a habit of sitting down and watching TV for long periods of time, are often more likely to be obese and at risk of heart diseases.

You’re also likely to eat more when you’re sitting down in front of the television. Plus, since you’re also burning less calories due to doing no physical activity, this becomes a very risky combination.


4. TV Degrades Your Discipline

Well, you’re not exactly improving your discipline whilst watching TV are you?

Watching television has an affect on your level of discipline, because it’s addictive. The more you watch television, the less likely you are to get things done.

Plus, if you have a television in your house, it’s one of the most common distractions for people. Therefore, the amount of discipline you have is reduced significantly.


5. TV Programs Negativity Into Your Mind

The news on TV in particular, programs a lot of negativity into our minds.

How much of the news we see on TV is positive?

Not a lot right?

The worst of the worst is always put on TV, and it programs negativity into our minds. We see danger in various places, and decide we won’t go there because of fear.

We hear of diseases that are spreading across the world, and we start being over cautious. Some people end up staying in their homes due to fear of things going wrong.

TV implants negativity into our brains.

6. TV Has An Influence On Your Spending Habits

TV clearly has an affect on your spending habits.

Adverts every 15 minutes, and shopping channels all over the place; needless to say it doesn’t look good.

Even if you’re not watching television with purchases in mind, which nobody ever is, it can still influence your spending.

We’re very visual people, and can easily be influence by TV without even realizing it. Just bear that in mind when you next sit down in front of the screen.

7. TV Can Make You Less Satisfied In Life

A study has actually shown that people who watch more TV tend to be less satisfied with the way their life is.

Their list of wants and desires for materialistic things become greater, and their gratitude for what they have degrades. This is most likely due to the unrealistic way life is portrayed on TV.


8. TV Causes You to Become Less Social

Funnily enough ‘it doesn’t take two to television’.

If you’re someone who’s watching a lot of TV, chances are your social life is decreasing. Being social is very beneficial for not only relaxing and imprinting positive thoughts in our minds, but we can also become wiser from being more social.

There could be so many people around you to send your time with. People who will make you happy, lift your spirits, and even provide you with help and knowledge.

It beats sitting in front of a screen.


9. TV Can Wrongly Alter Your Beliefs

Since TV can implant negativity into our minds and also present us with unrealistic expectations, it can also alter your beliefs.

Television is powerful. So if you don’t want your belief system messed with, then stop watching so much TV.


10. How Many Lamborghini Adverts Do You See On TV?


Think about it, seriously.

How many Lamborghini, or Ferrari adverts do you see on television?

You’ve probably never seen one in your life, unless you happen to be in a rich area. But here’s the point. Why don’t you see adverts for these cars on television?

You see adverts for all the other car makes on TV, so why not makes like Lamborghini? It’s simple; and you can put it down to the fact that the average person won’t be able to afford these cars, but that’s not the reason.

The reason there are no Lamborghini adverts on television is simply because the people who can afford them aren’t sitting around watching TV.

Lamborghini have to advertise their cars somehow right, but TV is not the answer. That’s not where their target market is, i.e. wealthy and successful people.
How to Stop Watching TV


We’ve taken a look at all the reasons why you should stop watching television, but how do you actually encourage yourself to do it?

Here are a few steps you can take to cut down on the amount of TV you watch:

1. Sell your television altogether

The simplest way to stop watching television would be to stop owning one altogether. However, that’s a pretty drastic measure to take. Yet, if you’re really struggling to cut down on TV time, this may well be a good idea.

Alternatively, limit the number of TV’s in your house. If you have one in the bedroom, sell that one and just keep one in your living room.

2. Try and get out of the house more

If you’re out of the house more, then you’ll be watching less television. So try to do what you can to get outside of the house.

3. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to watch television

Try and set an allotted time every day for watching TV. This is a great way to limit the time you spend in front of the screen.

4. Buy a timer for your television

You can grab timers that automatically turn your television off after they’ve been on for a specific amount of time.

This is another excellent way to stop watching television, because the timer does it for you. Once you’ve watched the limit you’ve set it on, that’s it for the day.

5. Try and be more social

Try and be more social. Make new friends, ask them to go out and do things. If you get more socially active, you’ll be spending more time with others, and not in front of your TV.


Summary

Now that we’re coming to the end of the article, let’s quickly recap the 10 reasons why you should stop watching television:
Watching too much TV is wasting time
TV provides unrealistic expectations
TV puts your health at risk
TV degrades your discipline
TV programs negativity into your mind
TV has an influence on your spending habits
TV can make you less satisfied in life
TV causes you to become less social
TV can wrongly alter your beliefs
How many Lamborghini adverts do you see on TV?

How to stop watching television:
Sell your television altogether
Try and get out of the house more
Give yourself an allotted amount of time to watch television
Buy a timer for your television
Try and be more social


In Conclusion
We think that TV can definitely be relaxing at times, there’s no doubt about that. It’s healthy to watch a little now and then for the entertainment factor.

However, watching too much can be detrimental to your level of happiness, productivity and success. You don’t have to go to the extreme of selling every TV you own, just try and cut down the time spent watching. Maybe remove TV’s from bedrooms, offices, etc.

How much TV do you watch per day? Leave a comment below.

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8 Simple Tips for Increasing Your Luck in Life

Luck is described by definition as “the things that happen to a person because of chance; the accidental way things happen without being planned.” So speaking in the strictest technical terms, there’s really nothing you can do to change your luck.

But that doesn’t stop most of us from trying!

Whether you believe in the power of changing your own fortune, you’re superstitious, or you simply take a different view on what exactly constitutes luck, odds are you’ve tried at one point or another to influence what happens to you seemingly by chance.



8 Tips for Increasing Your Luck in Life

Ultimately, arguing whether or not it can truly be done won’t get anyone anywhere.

Here are some simple tips for successfully increasing your luck in life.


1) Avoid Discouragement

One of the simplest keys to facilitating good luck is not to succumb to discouragement due to bad luck.

Move Me Quotes is a wonderful place to look for people who like to find inspiration and new perspectives from famous figures. And at that site, a list of quotes for positive thinking has a few different selections that speak to this idea of avoiding discouragement.

Perhaps best among them is John Wooden’s wise, almost Yogi Berra-esque quote:“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”

In other words, if you strive to make the most of a situation, even if it’s not an ideal one, you tend to increase the odds of things working out well in the long run. This is certainly one way to look at luck.


2) Collect Friends & Allies
Not all luck has to do with other people, but a great deal of what we’d call good fortune in life really comes down to good favours from good friends.

This is not to say that you should look to network your whole life simply to build up group of acquaintances who might one day facilitate “luck” when you need it most.

But by making and maintaining friendships, being kind to family members, neighbours and colleagues, etc., you can certainly put yourself in a better position to receive help if and when you need it one day.

Whether or not you call it luck is up to you, but the fact remains that receiving assistance from a friend in a time of need is better than the alternative!


3) Always Throw Your Hat In The Ring
The idea here is that if you don’t at least give yourself the opportunity to get lucky, you definitely won’t get lucky.

This is arguably the most significant thing to keep in mind in attempting to improve your fortunes—so much so that it’s even mentioned with regard to activities with notoriously long odds for luck.

At Lottoland, an online source for various online lotteries, there are a few different magazine articles that have been written about how to improve your shot at winning a lottery. One such article talks about odds and ends while referencing the famous Norman Vincent Peale quote, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars.”

The idea there is that by aiming for a jackpot (the moon) you can sometimes also put yourself in the running for smaller prizes (the stars). The same principle holds up pretty consistently as a metaphor for everyday life.

4) Keep Your Eyes Open

This one is straightforward: a lot of people with optimistic outlooks and “lucky” histories will tell you that one of the keys to good fortune is seizing good luck when it’s available. Sometimes a lucky turn is right in front of us, and we’re either unable or unwilling to see it.

5) Face Your Fears

“Fortune favours the bold” is a common saying, and some may view it as a relatively hollow one. Yet when you think about it as a psychological perspective rather than a recipe for good fortune, it begins to make a lot more sense.

Inc. took on this topic in a piece on different ways to actually increase your luck, and clarified that the idea of fortune favouring the bold largely comes down to the idea of facing our fears. When you take on a task that scares you or makes you apprehensive, you may not be any likelier to fully succeed.

But because you were apprehensive to begin with, you’re more likely to view any degree of success as a lucky outcome.


6) Prepare For Optimism

Many would argue that the foundation of good luck is an optimistic outlook.

In other words, people who are inclined to be optimistic are simply more likely to view a given event or outcome as a bit of good fortune, rather than something neutral. So it’s possible that the best way to position yourself for good luck is to practice optimism.

This could mean anything from getting more sleep and focusing on personal well-being, to trying to be kinder and more enthusiastic.


7) Believe In Routine

Superstition is closely related to the belief in luck, but it usually just comes down to routine.

To get an idea of just how important this is to some very successful people, just take a look through this list of superstitious athletes including Michael Jordan, Wade Boggs, and Serena Williams.

Williams in particular goes about her business on the tennis court according to an extremely strict routine of little things, such as how many times to bounce a ball before a serve.

She’s mentioned slipping up on this routine as a reason for some of her losses over the years, and whether or not that’s the case it’s easy to see the psychology of it. When you believe in routine to this extent, sticking to it can make you feel lined up for luck.


8) Trust The Little Voice

A lot of discussions about luck ultimately come down to the idea of trusting your gut.

To some extent, this lines up with the idea of facing fears and being bold; often it’s the gut instinct that wants to be bold, and the reasonable mind that prevails and encourages more conservative action.

Aside from the idea of just being bold, the idea here is to trust your gut, or listen to the little voice inside your head that tells you, before you even have a chance to think about it, what the right decision is. Instinct is a valuable ally, and one that can often lead you down a path of good fortune.



There are still no guarantees for luck in life. If there were, we wouldn’t call it luck! But by paying attention to these tips and enacting the suggestions in your day-to-day life, you may find that you stumble across a little bit more luck in the future.

Have anything to add to this article? Leave a comment below.

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Getting Things Done Through Motivation

This article is about getting things done by riding on the back of your initial motivation.

There is a window within which we need to do things/get tasks done. Particularly when it comes to working with other people. If you have a meeting for instance, try to follow up the actions you establish at the meeting (make them clear, simple and specific) within three days. If you don't work on the weekends be mindful of the fact that that's two days lost.

If you can't follow up within three days contact the person with/for whom you have agreed to carry out the actions and give them as accurate an estimation as you can as to how long it is going to take you to follow through. This contact is to aid continuity.

In the 21st Century and particularly this age of speed, ideas, concepts and actions go stale very quickly and easily. People are becoming more and more impatient and want fast results. To keep up it's vital that you become really clear (and good) at estimating what you can take on and how long things will take you.

So in terms of follow-up actions try these tips for yourself:

1. During the meeting, when taking notes put an A in a circle next to anything you need to action

2. Back at the office/at home action anything that can be done immediately (that will take you ten minutes or less). Transfer those actions that will take you longer to a master list. Make them as clear as possible.

3. Estimate how long each action will take and therefore your overall timeframe (bearing in mind everything else you need to do.) Keep it real. Give yourself an absolute cut-off date by which all the actions will be completed.

4. Contact the other person/people involved within three days informing them of the approximate timeframe of the longer actions but add on an extra 10-20% to allow for slippage.

5. Incorporate each action into your days/weeks/months, keeping others informed of progress.

6. Keep focused, ticking off actions as you go, and ensuring you're not distracted from other tasks that come along.

7. Try not to go beyond your cut-off date but if you need to (because of unexpected emergencies) inform all involved and set a second cut-off date as close to the first as possible.

8. Celebrate when you complete each action (even if it is just taking satisfaction in ticking/crossing it off a list)

Using this system will ensure your tasks don't become stale.

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The Grand Design: Creating Your Life Plan

Creating your life plan will decide how much you want to make, where you want to live, the things you want to do, how much time you want to spend with your family, what business you will be in, and who you want to hang around with. You are a choosing organism. You can choose how you want to live your life. There are certain freedoms that you have that will allow you to create your life plan.

Finding your purpose and living your passions will be one of the greatest joys of your life. Are you ready to take that trip? Have you purchased the tickets to the lifestyle you want? It takes courageous patience to pursue your goals. Goal setting is more about creating a life you want to lead.

Designing your life gives you clarity. Are you in a position to earn the money you want to earn? Can you afford to move to the neighborhood you want? Will your current situation help you become debt free, build wealth, or survive a financial down turn? This is where The Grand Design comes in. I learned this from Darren Hardy and this will help you create your life plan.

The Grand Design 10 Point Checklist to Creating Your Life Plan

1. Think It! Ink It!

Write it down make it happen. Something magical happens when you put your thoughts on paper. It makes your dreams real. Reduce your plan to writing. Quit keeping it in your head. Dreams are nothing until they are written down and put into action.

2. Live In Fantasyland then Bring It To Reality

Now that you have written it down venture off to fantasyland. Be a kid again and dream big! Think of everything you could have if it was possible. You are exercising your dream muscles. Write down what you could do if you had all the skills and resources available. What could you do if you knew you couldn't fail. Don't filter, qualify, or judge. Just write.

Dream so big that it gets scary and you start to feel uneasy. Understand there are no commitments now. You are brainstorming. Get everything on paper. There will be time to separate the absurd from reality. Think of this as having a genie. Write whatever wish you want to come true. What 10 wishes would you wish for? Write that down.

3. Go Big or Go Home

Anyone can accomplish big things. Walt Disney created the World of Disney and his teacher said he didn't have an imagination. Your mind doesn't care about the size of your goal. If you choose little goals it will set out to carry out your little goals. Set big goals it will do the same thing.

Give yourself permission to Go Big! What would you do if you could not fail? What could you do if you had no limitations. Think about it. You go shopping every week because you know the items are there. If not you wait for it to be available again. It's the same thing when you go after your big goals.

Pretend you are writing a script for your life (creating your life plan). How will the main character achieve his goals? What are their secret ambitions? What has the character always wanted to do but was afraid to start? This is how you go big.

4. Speak As If You Already Have It

Speak as if you already have it. Do not speak what you don't want. Always speak in the positive and in the present tense.

5. You are "I AM"

Make your statements in the 1st person. "I am X" vs. "I want X". When you state, "I Want" your mind will always focus on the "wanting to be X". How do you feel when you are always wanting? When you state "I AM", your mind will go to work producing what you have declared true.

6. Be Sure They Are Your Goals

Make sure you are climbing your own mountain. People start the wrong businesses, go into the wrong professions, and don't excel in their strengths because they are living someone else's dream. Your life plan depends on what you want and not the expectations of your family, colleagues, or society.

If your written goals are not from your heart and inner ambitions your subconscious mind will not work to produce them. This will cause frustrations and give the illusions of failure. The truth is you avoided what you didn't want because they weren't your goals.

7. Aligned With Your Values

Athletes quit when they are not passionate about their craft. Entertainers stop entertaining. Corporate superstars dismiss themselves. Designing your life plan will be difficult when your goals are not aligned with your values.

Can you handle sacrificing your core values to accomplish some milestones? Goals must fit your values, standards, and desires. You can still conquer anything you want to. But why go after anything that will not bring joy into your life. Besides it's almost impossible to keep striving when it goes against what you really desire.

8. Fight! Fight! Fight On!

Find your fight my friend. Without a fight we become complacent, lethargic, and sedimentary. We lose our purpose, passion, and energy. Everyone needs an enemy. I fight for people to become debt free, build wealth, build businesses, and to live their passions. An enemy gives you reasons to fight. This challenges your character, pushes you to exercise your skills, and abilities.

What are you willing to fight for? What fight will help you design your life plan? You and your family's future depends on your fight.

9. Self Limiting Beliefs

Don't let your past stop you. Cut the anchors, chains, and leashes that hold you back. There are plenty of programs that can help you defeat self-limiting beliefs.

10. Fear Not

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is a survival technique embedded in our DNA. But we don't have to fear what our ancestors did. Our modern society food, water, shelter, and clothing is readily available. We are not running away from wild animals. Most fears are made up in our heads or suggested to us.

Your big dreams excited you. You probably got a little nervous when you wrote down your desires. Considerations started entering your head. There are fears in every journey. It's a part of the process of goal setting. This is where courage comes in. Acting despite of the fear.

On Your Mark...

Take the time and go through these 10 steps. Get it out on paper and go! There is never a perfect time to start the only time you have is now. Go create your life plan now.

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3 Simple Strategies For Massive Goal-Setting Success That Works Like Magic

The ability to set goals the correct way constitutes an essential skill that can make or break your personal and professional success in life. The manner in which you do so will determine the speed in which you can achieve your goals, or whether or not you can achieve them in the first place.

So if you often find yourself setting goals, but not achieving them at all, this article is for you. Here are 3 strategies that I use to massively improve my goal-setting success, to quadruple the rate of achievement of my desires in half the time.

Strategy #1: Write down your goals

Yes, you got it right! The first step to any goal-setting endeavour is to first write down your goals. It seems like a common sense and obvious thing to do. Unfortunately, many of us have the intention to achieve something (e.g. lose weight, get a promotion, earn more money) but did not crystallize it by writing it down. Your goal will thus merely exist as a thought, an intention, or a dream, and that is why they never become a reality!

Therefore, the first step in any goal-setting endeavour is to always first write down your goals. By doing so, you create the first action toward your desires, and transform your thought into a commitment that becomes more real to you.

Strategy #2: Revisit your goals every day

After writing your goals, it is useless if you only revisit your goal at the end of the year, and realized you have not achieved anything at all! Therefore, it is vital that you revisit your goals every single day. Write your goals on a piece of paper, look at it at least once every morning, and ask yourself what would you do today to bring you one step closer to your goals.

By revisiting your goals consistently, you can re-align your day towards the key objectives you will very much want to achieve.

Strategy #3: Announce your goals

The third strategy you can adopt is to simply announce your goals. Tell your family, friends, and colleagues about the goals you will want to achieve. Studies have shown that if you announce your goals, the probability of backing out on these goals decreases tremendously.

In addition, trusted friends and colleagues who are supportive of your endeavours can point you to valuable resources, advice and people who can help you achieve your goals in record time! They can also hold you accountable to your goals, further ensuring that you achieve your goals despite the excuses you might use to give up on your goals.

Unfortunately, many people are uncomfortable in announcing their goals to the supportive people around them. So get over the discomfort and start announcing them.

Conclusion

The three simple strategies presented in this article are relevant and applicable. You can use it immediately during your next goal-setting exercise. Apply these strategies the next time you set goals, and watch the magic unfold.

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Letting Go of the Fear of the Future

In the future, there is a true hope. In the future, there is a reflection of the abundance and gratitude of today.

Letting go of the fear of the future means, in general, letting go of most of your fears.

Just think about it: 99% of all of our worries and fears are connected only and exclusively with thoughts about the future:

·        What will tomorrow bring us?

·        What if it were something highly unpredictable, or even painful?

·        Will I be able to handle it?

·        Am I ready for that?

·        How will I protect my family?

·        How will I deal with that?

But, what happens when we let go of all these fears?

What happens when we surrender ourselves to the uncertainty of the future, letting ourselves experience all the feelings that lie behind, and letting them simply go, once and forever?

Can we even do that?

Can Letting Go take us so far?

After several Letting Go meditations related to the uncertainty of the future, some interesting revelations came to me when all the negative emotions behind these fears were surrendered, released, and let go.

The most surprising one was the realization that there is not such a thing as a future.

Any moment of our life we live at is defined by being in a state of a clear presence. We simply can't live in the past or future; we can only live in the present.

So, all we can really be fearful of, is just our presence, as this is the only state that we are actually experiencing. Yes, we can also think of extensions, multiplication or variations of the presence, which are often falsely altered with the word "future", but it is still just another form of the presence.

Now, this is great news.

Why?

Because the good thing about the presence is, that we can shape it and define it exactly as we want to - in any given moment. We can instantly decide if we want to be joyful or fearful right now, if we want to be exuberant or impoverished. We have the power of the full choice about the presence, about the actual, instant moment.

But, because the future is, in fact, just an extension or multiplication (or variation) of the presence, by shaping our presence, we can then immediately shape our future as well:

If we feel true hope today, we already create it for our future too.

If we feel abundance and gratitude today, we already create it for our future as well.

I admit that this concept can be a bit difficult to understand for most of you right now. However, after several letting go of these future related issues, you will start seeing it clearer.. This concept needs to be fully experienced (by letting go of the barriers for this experience) first, in order to be able to absolutely understand it, accept it and take great advantages of it.

So here is letting go process of the fear of the future:

1. In a quiet place, close your eyes and think of any of your recent fears about the future.

2. Start noticing the feelings (as they will start coming up) behind your thoughts.

3. Don't try to label these feelings in any way, rationalize or analyze them. Just let them come out and express themselves.

4. Start surrendering yourself to these feelings slowly, let them express themselves fully all over your body (or any other part where you feel them most intensively). Don't push them back, don't block them or act on them either. Just let them be in their natural way and instead, be an independent observer of them, as if they weren't even yours.

5. After a while, make a decision about letting them go once and forever, and then let them actually go and disappear.

The process above will probably need to be, in the case of many people, repeated during the following days, or even weeks, to start experiencing the new, clear perception of the concept of the future (anxiety about the future is in general quite a strong issue) and to start experiencing how worries about the future begin to vanish.

Remember that, with Letting Go, we can't control the moment of the revelation. All we can do is to let go and then let the revelation come to us in the moment it is ready to come. I can guarantee you, that sooner or later it will come, if we let go and surrender ourselves properly. There is no other way.By letting go and surrendering ourselves, we clear the path ahead of us; we clear the vision, and we only need to wait for our own conscious and unconscious mind to adjust to this new reality. Paradoxically, our own brain is quite often the weakest link in our growth!

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