3 Smart Tips for Stopping Your Need to Try to Change People and Reduce Your Stress

People basically are what they are. A grouchy person will usually remain grouchy. A person with a very loud annoying laugh will always be loud. A person who is a pushover or who is afraid to stand up for themselves will stay that way. In addition, a tacky commenting person will not change the way they talk. Here is how to stop trying to change people and reduce your own stress in the process.

First: If any change is going to happen, it has to come from you. This may sound like you have to give in to rude people, but you are not, you are actually controlling the situation and increasing your levels of calm. You need to change your belief that you can make someone change their behaviour into something they are not. If the behaviour is something that is unique to them and can be overlooked as a part of their individuality, then let it go and like them anyway. Being more tolerant of little things makes you understand human nature better. In addition, allows you to grow as a person. Miraculous influences do occasionally happen, but mostly in the movies or in those reality shows that are written to shock you. So stop agonising over a failure to mold someone into your ideal.

Second: After changing your belief, start changing your ideas of what a friend should be like. Think about the qualities you would like in a friend and then emulate those qualities yourself. You will attract like-minded people to you and your social circle will change to reflect your new friends. Remember to be kind to yourself, no one else will, because no one knows you like you do.

Third: You will find that your stress levels will decrease and a strong powerful calmness will come over you. People will feel this and gravitate to you. You will make yourself happy by associating with people you truly feel good around.

Accept those who will never quite make you feel comfortable to be with. They will always be that way. Do not waste your precious time and energy with behaviours that drag you down emotionally. Change that comes from within you generates energy and reduces your stress and builds strong healthy relationships. Those people who have behaviours that stress others and make people uncomfortable will have their own circle of friends. Remember the old saying "misery loves company". People only change a bad habit or behaviour only when they want to for their own reasons, whether it is selfish or not.

Being a person who is willing to connect with positive growing people will reduce your stress in a natural way.

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

Source: 

How to Improve Your Mood Right Now: 3 Simple Habits

I often write about how a good start to your day often leads to having a good day in general.

A social, an energetic or a productive start sets the context for your day.

But on some days you may not get a good start for some reason.

Maybe you slept badly. Or the maybe grey skies and cold summer rain is dragging your energy down.

Or you might have lost that positive momentum during a hard first part of the day and after lunch you feel tired, low or lost in a somewhat sad or uninspired funk.

What to do then? Is that day lost and should you just aim for a better day tomorrow?

Well, today is not over yet.

Maybe you can still make something good out it.

Here’s how I do that by breaking the negative mood and getting a new start.

1. Appreciate what you have.

The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups.

I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence.

I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life?

I usually come up with one simple thing like:
My tasty food.
My health.
That I have a roof.

That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.

Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the fluffy cat sitting beside me on the sofa, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.

I make those small mental leaps by just moving my attention around in the room I am in. Like skipping from stone to stone over a stream. And I take the time to slowly appreciate all those things.

This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one.

2. Act as you would like to feel.

Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic.

I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example:
Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.
Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to I think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).

3. Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.

Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood.

Spend one minute coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.

She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.

Source

7 Ways to Start Spreading the Optimism Today

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Winston Churchill

Optimism.

It can turn a situation that looks negative or bleak into an opportunity or something to learn from.

It can replace the draining thoughts of pessimism with something that will give you more energy and enthusiasm again.

And it can help you to jump over obstacles, to keep moving when you fall or stumble and to not give up just because you have had a couple of temporary setbacks.

So not just adding more of it to your own life but to the lives of the people in your world too is a good idea.


Because you tend to get back what you give in the long run.

And in the short run, well, you get to enjoy the smiles when you spread the optimism. Plus, you’ll boost your own self-esteem when you feel you are doing the right thing.

Here are 7 simple tips that can help you to get started with that.

1. Just be there for someone.

Listen and lend the optimistic and grounded perspective to someone in your life in need of it.

At first I find it best to just the let other person vent, to let him or her get issue at hand out into the light. So I am just there fully and listening.

Oftentimes this might be enough. Because just being there will help him or her to let the emotional tension out and to analyze the issue and to find a solution or to let it go.

If she or he gets stuck in negative thinking or in making a mountain out of a molehill then it can be helpful to add your own perspective to ground him or her and to help shift perspective on the situation.

To make him or her see that if you zoom out then things aren’t that bad really. And together the two of you might be able to find a solution or a first step that he or she can put into action.

2. Play positive music.

Uplifting music is of course a great way to boost your own mood and open up new perspectives again.

You can do the same for people around you. Put on a really positive song when you are hanging out. Or send them an uplifting playlist for Spotify or a similar program.

3. Take 30-60 seconds to give a genuine compliment.

Think about one thing that makes the other person tick. A small or bigger passion. Or something good that people too often take for granted about him or her.

And then give a compliment about that. It often means more than you might guess.

4. Smile.

A smile puts you and the people around you into a better and more relaxed headspace.

It works even when you don’t feel that much like smiling. If you like, do a brief experiment. Force a smile for 30 seconds or a minute if you are feeling a bit negative and see what happens to your mood.

5. Help someone to wind down.

Being busy with work or school can over time add a lot of tension and stress. And that can certainly get in the way of optimistic and constructive thinking.

So help someone in your life to wind down. Suggest going for a picnic. Just laugh and perhaps go for swim in the nearby lake or ocean. Then lie together in silence on the blanket and watch the clouds go by for a while.

A break like this can do wonders for the mood and perspective for the both of you.

6. Hug.

A hug is, perhaps often even more than a smile, something that can make someone feel a little better and a bit safer again. Use it when appropriate of course.

But don’t underestimate the effect of it and how that little nudge can turn someone’s thoughts around towards something brighter and more positive again.

7. Pay it forward.

If someone in your life adds a bit of optimism to your life then don’t just return it somewhere down the line. Pay it forward to someone else too.

And together build a growing upward spiral of optimism, encouragement and kindness.

Source