3 Tips for Going Off Autopilot & Taking Back Control of Your Life

Today I want to share some ideas for going off of autopilot and instead living your life on purpose. There are definitely times when doing things automatically is beneficial, but if you live in this 'auto-space' all the time, you allow life to happen to you rather than living your life the way you want.

Here are three ideas that you can use to live your life on purpose and by doing so, raise your vibrational energy, attract more positive things to you, get more done and feel much more vibrant, powerful and fulfilled.

Tip #1: Move out of the shadow and into the light. What makes you tick, what are you passionate about, where are you holding back? Tune in to who you really are and let her shine!

This is a huge topic that many books have been written on so let's just focus in on one little point... what are you doing to hold yourself back?

Most of us have been trained to hide a little bit (or a lot) of who we are. Maybe you've been told you laugh too loud or you're too quick to trust other people. Maybe it's been suggested you daydream too much and need to spend more time focusing on getting things done. Labels like; you're lazy, scattered, impulsive, lack self-control... all influence who you are and what you believe about yourself (even positive labels can hold you back!).

You also could be in a job you don't really like, but are there because someone else felt that's the career you should have. It's possible you feel afraid to course correct at this point in your life because you took schooling to get where you are or you've worked so hard to climb the ladder and to change now would seem like such a waste. Or maybe you're afraid if you stop you'll be seen as a quitter or people will think you're not smart enough, strong enough or committed enough to see things through.

Becoming aware of the areas of your life that are within your control and then using this awareness to help you make positive changes in your life is called conscious living. Noticing where you feel stagnant, uninspired or held back and then thinking about what you might do to make things just a little better can be a really great starting place for living this kind of life.

Doing things to please other people, pushing aside your real dreams and desires because you think (or have been told) they are too fanciful, is stopping you from reaching your full potential.

So when you consciously detect something is amiss, don't disregard it or push it aside because it's inconvenient. Instead, notice it, journal about it, explore it fully and see what comes to light.

Commit to finding and revealing the real you - I guarantee you she is wonderful and worth exploring.

Tip #2: Open yourself up to receive - gifts, compliments, love, healing, a helping hand...

This sounds like such a simple thing to do, yet it is not. Most of us have been taught that to need something from someone else makes you weak, immodest or sets you up to owe them and we do not like to be indebted to others. This stops us from being a true team member and collaborating effectively with others, plus it robs us of the pleasure receiving can bring.

If you struggle with receiving you can end up blocking everything you've ever desired from coming your way. Receiving and the pleasure it brings are two key pieces to filling up your tank so it's very important you learn how open up to it.

A simple way to increase your awareness around how well you receive things is to tune in to what you do or say when someone tries to give you something - like a compliment or praise. Really notice your response (even if it's just in your head!).

For example, if you just ran a meeting and I came up to you after to say "I just want to say you did a really awesome job chairing that meeting." How might you respond?

Most people will have patterns or habits that deflect, correct, deny, reciprocate, minimize, reject or question the compliment without even realizing they are doing it.

If you're honest with yourself, you'll likely find receiving a compliment can be quite a challenge. If so, here's what you might want to practice instead.

Feel the compliment, take it in, smile and respond with something like,

"Thank you, it feels great to hear you say that."

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"It did go well, didn't it? Thanks for confirming that for me."

Tip #3: Practice forgiving - every situation you encounter in life is meant to help you evolve as a soul. This can be a hard pill to swallow if you've been abused, abandoned, traumatized, tortured or experienced other things in life that feel very personal and hurtful. So I say this with much compassion and love... forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Forgiveness allows you to take back the energy you are investing in being mad, hurt, ashamed, disgusted or revengeful and to instead surround yourself with the positive energy of compassion and understanding. You see, as long as you refuse to forgive someone - even yourself, you make it impossible for that relationship to evolve.

Refusing to forgive someone else gives them space, rent free, in your head. Refusing to forgive yourself stops you from healing and ever truly loving yourself.

When you feel like you've been wronged or done something wrong... you carry that energy with you in your heart. As a result, you push yourself harder, are less trustful of your own guidance, you create impossible and inflexible standards for yourself AND you lower your vibrational energy.

When you are able to forgive and learn to appreciate how that situation helped you become who you are today, everything changes.

The ability to forgive will help you plug a drain that is stopping you from fully owning your power. I know it feels like you are flexing your power muscles by refusing to forgive, but - as counter-intuitive as it seems - the exact opposite is actually true.

By tuning into where you are disconnected from yourself and holding yourself back, you open the door to all kinds of beautiful discoveries. By opening yourself up to receive those good things, you increase your vibrancy, recharge your battery and become more abundant. By remembering to forgive both yourself and others when things don't go as you might have liked, you are benefitting from the lessons and plugging a drain that could otherwise put you back in your shadow.

The more you practice these three things the easier they will become and before you know it you're living your life in a vibrant and powerful way.

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Finding Inner Peace

Finding inner peace is the path of letting go, even though, the path could be as hard or simple as a person makes the journey of self acceptance.

"He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe" ~ Marcus Aurelius

There are always many ups and downs in every one's life. Sometimes we get stuck in a world of confusion, wondering how we find a constant inner peace in our hearts and lives, when there is always something wrong in our lives or the lives of those we love.

What happens when we start to feel down or stressed?

First of all some kind of negative thought comes into our mind that gets us discouraged and anxious. The next thing that happens, is that we start believing in that thought. And feeding it with more arguments, which in turn gets us into a deeper state of confusion and sadness. Next thing we know, we find ourselves, there in that deep mud hole. We look around and all is doom and gloom.

What can we do so that this does not even happen?

1 - Accept what is: Life is unpredictable. Nothing is permanent, everything changes; and of course, a lot of things can happen that will transform who we are and have an impact on our life. The problem is that we need to be prepared to truly accept whatever comes and embrace it. This is what I have noticed with so many people, in that we focus and linger on things which we have no control over. Why worry about something that all the worrying in the world will not change? Why care about what other people think of us when we're not even sure what it is they are actually thinking? Yes, acceptance is a choice-a hard one most definitely, but a choice nonetheless. By practicing acceptance we learn to live in this changing world, where we never know what's going to happen next. Acceptance is like protecting ourselves with our own shields." You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

2 - Meditate: Meditation makes us mentally strong, and emotionally resilient. It reduces the tendency to react, increases the tendency to respond and is an effective way to de-stress our minds. If you are not meditating yet then, you are missing out on a very important activity that can change your life. When you have a lot on your mind and you feel like your thoughts are driving you crazy, meditation can help you find peace, calmness and more self acceptance. Meditation helps turning one's life into a more beautiful, harmonious and happy one. When mind, body and spirit are in harmony, then everything seems right with the world."Through concentration and meditation you become the boss of your mind, and gain the ability to tell it when to be active and when to stay silent" ~ Remez Sasson

3 - Spend time in nature: Nature calls you back to reality. We can't stop it from raining. We can't delay the setting sun. We can't set the temperature to a comfortable degree. When we are climbing a mountain, our muscles are going to burn. But with this surrender comes such relief! We awake from a dream and realize how little control we really have. We remember that hardship and lack of control are part of life, and accepting this reality makes it not only bearable, but possible to feel the joy of being alive. By being in nature we feel comfortable in our own skin, we experience our own quiet peace and strength, we sense the inner us that is the true us. The mask we present to the outer world is irrelevant for a time, and put in its proper place. Nature helps us to connect with this powerful, loving presence, whether we call it GOD, Earth Mother, the Great Mystery or any another name. Nature brings us closer to GOD, our own spirit and helps us to live lives of meaning and joy. "The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles." ~ Anne Frank

4 - Learn the power of a smile: A smile is a powerful key to living happy from the inside out. The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you're happy. And when you're happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good endorphins. Smiles are powerful and contagious. Don't hesitate to smile warmly at friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. Never stop smiling! God smiles on us each and every day. His love has no depth, his mercy no end. His arms are open wide, just step into them. "Smile and the world will smile with you."

5 - Choose to help others: Care for others genuinely around you. What you put out, you really get back in life. Being caring allows us to have empathy for others and to live a life based on affection, love, and compassion for the people around us. When we make a positive impact in someone else's life, we also make a positive impact in our own lives. Any act of kindness and goodwill eases our way towards inner peace. When we start helping others, we stop thinking about our so-called problems and then we realize that our life is not so bad after all. Do something that's greater than you - something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." ~ Charles Dickens

6 - Never lose hope: Never give up. Never lose hope. Always have faith, it allows you to cope better during the trying times. Having hope is a personal decision, a bold conviction-a choice, and with hope we always have a path towards peace. Having hope is an active, decisive mindset etched into every single moment. No matter the haze and fog that clouds our vision, hope's laser cuts through, and never losing sight of her shimmering stars. Hope is something we can never afford to lose Who we really are is based on values we choose to live by, such as believing in the possible, believing in the goodness of others, and believing in the power of love and hope. When we decide to passionately pursue our greatest purpose, then we become the hope in our lives and manifest her greatest dreams, because we refuse to consider any other possibility. As Henry James put it, "Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact."

7 - Embrace your beliefs: I am not here to favour any belief system over another, but whatever it is that you are believing in, hold it closely in your arms, accept it willingly and enthusiastically, as by being within your faith, peace will find its way into your heart. We all might have different opinion in regards to our belief systems, but one thing that we all have to acknowledge is that without a healthy and solid belief system, we won't be able to find a fair conscience which could show us the way towards peace and wisdom. "Faith is universal. Our specific methods for understanding it are arbitrary. In the end we are all just searching for truth, that which is greater than ourselves." ~ Dan Brown

8 - Live in the present moment: When we live fully in the present moment, our awareness becomes completely centred on the here and now. We won't worry about the future or thinking about the past. How often have you been worrying about things that have yet to come, or how often have you been beating yourself for mistakes that you've made, no matter how much time has passed? Too much time, I believe. Not only living in present moment has a significant effect on our emotional health, but also it has a great impact on our physical wellbeing. By living in present moment we live in acceptance; we accept life the way it is, not the way we wish, it should have been. And when we live in acceptance, we realize that everything is complete as it is. We can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made, and we can have peace in our hearts knowing that everything that should happen will. "If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is."

Finding inner peace is not a simple or short path, but it is a process that we can all learn. It is a journey which needs to be appreciated every step of the way. We have to be willing to let go and step outside the box that we have accepted ourselves to be put into, in the first place and start from scratch. We have to be ready getting to know ourselves all over again and be willing to make mistakes. And most importantly, we have to realize that only we have control over our emotional responses and reactions and they can be changed for the better. And finally when serenity and unconditional love fill our hearts, we will accept that we cannot go back, and will not give up what we have now found, that peace that we seem to have been searching for our whole lives. "Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you." ~ Rumi

Inner peace resides within us at all times. It has been said the only thing that prevents the human mind from finding peace, is the human mind itself. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

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6 Signs It’s Time to Change Your Life

Is it time to make some changes in your life? It just might be. Life is too short to not live it to the fullest.

Here are some signs it’s time to change your life.

1. Every week, you cannot wait for Friday.

Fridays are fun, but one thing I’ve discovered in my quest to find and do work I absolutely love is that almost every day can be really fun. If you’re saving all your living for the weekends, it’s time to truly think about your lifestyle and consider making some changes. Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to have plans you look forward to on the weekends, but what if you could have that excited Friday feeling most, if not all, days of the week? It takes a lot of self-discovery and work, but it’s truly possible to live a life you love—even on Mondays.



2. You live for your vacations.


Vacations are great, but what’s even better is building a life you don’t need to take a vacation from. As Seth Godin said, “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” Vacations are fun and exciting, but even better is building a life where you have the potential to do what lights you up many weeks of the year, not just your two allotted vacation weeks.

3. When you stop and think about it, you’re really not focusing your life on your priorities.
Write down your 3 top priorities. Then write down the 3 things you focus most of your life on. Are you spending your time living your top priorities? Consistently spending time doing what matters most to you is one of the keys to feeling fulfilled in your life. If you’re not focusing your life on what’s important to you, it’s time to make some changes.

4. You have no idea what lights you up, and you don’t have the space in your life to discover it.


If you haven’t found your passion in your current life, you’re not going to find it if you continue to do your same routine, over and over, year after year. In order to discover what lights you up, start by creating the space in your life to seek it. Give yourself time to figure out who you are, what your strengths are, and what picques your interest. Experiment with learning new things, spending time with inspiring people, and doing more of what excites you and less of the things that suck your energy.

5. You’re frequently jealous.


If you find yourself frequently feeling jealous of someone, there are 3 changes to consider making:
Make a point to focus on your path instead of his or her journey. Sometimes this involves taking a break from social media.
Get inspired from the person you’re jealous of, and work toward a similar goal in your life.
Decide what the other person has is not something you are willing to put in the effort to achieve, so you’ll cheer him or her on but choose to not be jealous.

When you are feeling jealous, consider why you want what the other person has, and what your motives are. Living a life on your terms, focused on your priorities, passions, and strengths, will provide you with much more fulfilment than trying to be somebody else.

6. You can’t remember the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone.

According to Neale Donald Walsch, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Your life can become even more amazing if you stretch beyond your comfort zone. If you’re not sure where to start, try the tips in this article about small ways to step out of your comfort zone.

Life is too short to spend your years not living to your full potential. If you decide you’re ready to change your life, I encourage you to start taking small action steps toward the life you want to live. Keep moving forward.

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People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

People Pleasing: Why Do Some People Experience Anxiety When They Don't Please Others?

It has been said that one's life can be an expression of their own needs or it can be an expression of other people's needs. When it comes to the former, one is pleasing themselves; whereas when it comes to the latter, they are pleasing others.

True Fulfillment

In order for one to live a fulfilling existence, it is clearly going to be important for them to take care of their own needs. Now, this doesn't mean that one will therefore overlook other people's needs.

There is a strong chance that they will meet other people's needs through putting their own needs first. For example, one could create their own business and even though this will allow them to full their needs, it will also enable them assist others.

Win-Win

As a result of this, it will be possible for one to fulfil their own needs and to fulfil other people's needs. The alternative would be for one to be there for others, but to overlook what is taking place within them.

It would then mean that even though one is having a positive effect on others, they are not having a positive effect on themselves. Another way of looking at this would be to say that one is sabotaging their own life.

The Outsider

However, even though this is the case, it doesn't mean that other people will always realise this. Due to how one is behaving, they could believe that they are simply a 'selfless' human being.

One is then an example of how people should behave and they are going to admire their behaviour. What could also play a part in this is that one could act as though they are only too happy to overlook their own needs.

A Facade

There is also the chance that they could be so concerned with their own needs that they don't take the time to think about one's needs. Yet even if one does come across as easy going and 'selfless', it doesn't mean this reflects what is taking place within them.

During the moments when they are by themselves, they could feel frustrated, angry and powerless. At the same time, this could be an experience that doesn't last for very long, as one could end up feeling guilty and ashamed.

Self-Oppression

It then won't matter if there is external pressure, as one will keep themselves in line. This is something that could take place without one being fully aware of what is happening, and then before long, they could soon be doing what they can to please someone.

If one was able to take a step back from what is taking place, they may find that their life has been this way for quiet some time. It can then be seen as who they are as opposed to how they are choosing to behave.

A Choice

The trouble is that one is unlikely to see that they do have a choice when it comes to how they behave, and this can partly come down to how long they have experienced life in this way. It can be seen as something that just happens, and it is then going to be normal for one to have this outlook.

If one was to open up to someone about what is taking place, they may say that they need to put their needs first and not to worry about pleasing others. One could then be told to change their behaviour and then everything will be fine.

Two Sides

However, even though one is suffering unnecessarily through putting other people's needs first, it doesn't mean that they can just change what they are doing. For one thing, they could be out of touch with their own needs, and it could also cause them to experience a lot of pressure.

The mental and emotional pain they experience through trying a different approach could be stronger than the mental and emotional pain they usually experience. It can then be a lot easier for one to carry on doing the same thing and to neglect themselves.

Anxiety

When one puts their own needs first, they could end up feeling overwhelmed, and this could occur even if they were to only think about doing it. The sheer discomfort they experience is then going to stop them from being able to think clearly.

It is then not a case of one putting their needs first and feeling as though they are doing the right thing; it's as though something bad will happen, or that their world will come to an end. And through having this inner experience, it is not going to be a surprise for them to overlook their own needs.

Relationships

One could find that this is an experience that they have no matter who they are with, or it could be something that they generally experience around their friends and family. Also, if one is in an intimate relationship, it could be something that they experience in their company.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one's life revolves around pleasing other people, and this is then something that allows them to feel safe. The problem is that whilst it stops them from having to feel uncomfortable, it stops them from being able to live their own truth.

Why Is This?

This is then similar to how a child sees their caregiver whilst they are growing up; at this age, their survival does revolve around pleasing others. But through receiving the right care, they will gradually grow out of this and develop a sense of self.

If one doesn't receive the right care (and this could be because they were abused and/or neglected), it won't be possible for them to develop a sense of self. As a result of this, they will stay in a boundary-less state and continue to believe that their survival rests on pleasing others.

Awareness

It is then going to be important for one to develop boundaries on one hand and to work through the pain they experienced during their early years on the other. Once one feels like an adult and no longer sees life as they did as a child, their life will begin to change.

This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.



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THE MINDSET BEHIND SUCCESS.

The law of attraction. If you can see it , you can have it. Ask, believe and you shall receive.

Control Manifesting By Controlling Your Feelings: Using the Law of Attraction

We use the law of attraction to achieve our dreams. This law states that we attract into our life whatever corresponds with our vibrations. Our vibrations are set by our feelings. Therefore, you will control your manifesting, by controlling your feelings.

Perhaps the most important lesson we have learned over these years since 2006 when we began this study, is that your emotions are your prayer, your power, and your lifeline. Keep them positive. Emotions are energy generated by feelings. We have a feeling of love or satisfaction and we generate emotions. We have a feeling of sadness or loss or envy, and we generate emotions. Emotions are "energy in motion" as defined by Anthony Robbins. They are neither good nor bad, but they are set by our feelings. This energy impacts, for better or worse, the divine matrix surrounding us. It is in the divine matrix that we manifest. To manifest good, or abundance, we must generate positive energy, or positive emotions. We control our manifesting by controlling our feelings.

Philosophers, self-help gurus, and coaches have been explaining the power of positive thinking since the early 1900's, particularly as it impacts our health and our "luck" or success. More recently psychologists have discovered that this is because our thinking generates feelings, which bring about behaviour. In between feelings and behaviour is the divine matrix which changes reality.


To explain let's look at an example. Let's say, you have the intention of increasing your income. You believe that you can increase your income. This excitement and enthusiasm generates a raised vibrational intensity and increases your emotional energy. This affects the divine matrix surrounding you, which begins to change reality. As you tune in to intuitive nudges, changing your behaviour, you will find yourself on the road to a higher income. The original idea/belief, brings about feelings which then bring about behaviour change.
The inspired behaviour is not always directly related to "making more money." You might be inspired to spend time in places that make you feel great such as the ocean or the mountains, or any beautiful spot. This will help by increasing your vibrational rate, which improves your mood. Control your manifesting by controlling your mood. Little by little, the good mood, and increased vibrations, increases your emotional energy which impacts on the divine matrix, creating miracles that improve your life.

So that's all there is to it. Keep your feelings happy, and your thoughts positive, and your position will improve. Even if you seem to be having a setback, that setback might be necessary to set you in a different direction for your long-term goal. Trust yourself as it was always you that created today. It was you that moved you to where you are today. It will be you that manifests your next place/goal. It will be your good feelings that manifest your next success.

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