4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Motivation

How do you defeat the self-inflicted agony that each one of us as humans have felt at some point or another? How do you work through the pain that hurts so much to the point that we don’t want to deal with it anymore? How do you not give up?


Here’s how:

Step 1—Understand that you’re not alone and the feeling isn’t permanent.

The first step towards crawling back to taking control of your life when you’re on the verge of giving up is really just remembering that you’re not the only person who has felt hopeless, all of us understand what you’re feeling and where you’re coming from. We’ve all been there, and chances are that we’ll each be there again, so it really is kind of about understanding that it happens to everyone, and even more importantly, these moods and feelings come and go in waves. Just because you feel down and without motivation right now doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. It may be gone tomorrow, it may be gone a week from now or a month from now, but it is temporary.

Step 2—Start believing in yourself.

You have the power to let go of negative beliefs about yourself. You also have the power to create positive beliefs that will empower you rather than hinder you. The point of feeling like you want to give up comes from becoming the victim of the negativity of your own internal dialogue. You want to give up because the conversation that takes place in your head tells you you aren’t good enough, you’re not competent, you don’t have it in you, and that maybe what you’re doing isn’t worth the reward you’re expecting. These are problems that we all face as humans on a daily basis simply because our minds are neurotic; they’re negative, and we believe them.

In order to start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing what your mind says. Stop believing the negativity that plays out in your mind and start to laugh at it. You have the power to let go of negative beliefs, and at the same time create positive beliefs that are self-empowering.

Step 3—Start changing your life in ways that will reflect a change in your attitude.

You are the things that you do on a daily basis. If you want your life to change, if you want your moods to change, if your attitude to get better or your motivation to be higher, you have to begin changing your daily actions in a way that will exhibit change in your life.

For me, the way I stay motivated when I’m feeling down is by starting to do daily habits that are difficult, that challenge me and help me grow my willpower. Not only do you feel accomplished when you take on challenging habits, but you are literally strengthening your willpower.

It really is about keeping your energy levels high, and challenging yourself with difficult habits. Developing these habits will help you deal with the negativity that drains you physically, mentally and emotionally.
What are these habits?

Waking up early helps me take time to enjoy my life, and focus on the actions I know are necessary to accomplish my goals. When you become a morning person, you begin to feel empowered, accomplished, and you create time for yourself while the rest of the world is still asleep and there are no distractions.

Meditating is a very important habit that really will help you understand the negative thoughts you have. It will help you begin to separate from those thoughts with the understanding that you are not your thoughts. When you believe your negative thoughts and identify with them, you have no power, you feel horrible about yourself and you will lack motivation. Start to understand your own negativity by meditating for just a few minutes a day and you will find that your motivation levels rise instantly.

Reading is another integral habit that helps keep me motivated. I read about people who have been successful in life; people who seemingly have infinite motivation within them to do everything they set out to do. There’s nothing more motivating than learning from successful individuals who have detailed accounts about what kept them going and how they were able to stay strong in difficult times. You and I are no different and we can take lessons from successful, motivated people and implement those strategies in our own lives.

Step 4—Surround yourself with people who exhibit qualities that you want to possess.
The most important thing you need to do in order to keep yourself motivated and positive is surround yourself with people who you want to be like rather than surrounding yourself with people who are just like you. We become the people we hang out with, and I like to say that we’re an average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If you surround yourself with people that are just like you, you will never change. But if you begin to surround yourself with motivated, positive people that are go-getters, you too will become a positive person with proper motivation who is a go getter.
Conclusion

Don’t give up. When you’re about to give up is the point where its most important to show up with strength and not give into the difficulty you’re facing. Just remember, this is temporary, you’re not alone, change is possible, and you have the strength in you to live the life you want.


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How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

You’re an introvert.

You don’t have a boisterous personality. You’ve never seen an actual popularity contest, but you are certain if you were in one, that you wouldn’t win. Clearly, you aren’t cut out to be a leader.

Are you?

That depends. If one were to believe the depiction of leaders that exists in movies, television, books, and the classroom, the answer to that question might be yes.

After all, based on the typical portrayal of a leader, aren’t the brash, outgoing, forceful, outspoken, and charismatic? How can a person without these characteristics be an effective leader?
How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

Here’s the truth. You can be a great leader without possessing the nature or personality traits of the stereotypical leader that has been presented to you. You have innate leadership qualities.

You just have to figure out what they are, and how you can use them.

Try to answer the following questions, and you might discover these qualities within yourself.

1. Are you willing to come in early and stay late?

You may have received messaging that tells you that good leaders get people to perform by having a commanding presence.

This isn’t true.

Successful leaders earn the respect of their teams when they lead by example. This means demonstrating the willingness to put in the same work that your team puts in.

If you are willing to put in the same long hours that your team must work, you’ve already established some leadership abilities.


2. Will you step in when a team member needs help?

Shouldn’t true leaders model adherence to firm expectations?


Shouldn’t they demand that team members overcome their own struggles and contribute effectively?

Doesn’t that help equal enabling?

You might think that your desire to help people around you is a weakness. It is not. When you help somebody, you aren’t modelling being taken advantage of.

You aren’t modelling permitting irresponsibility.

“AS A LEADER, YOUR ABILITY TO RECOGNISE AND STEP IN TO HELP SOMEBODY IS PRICELESS.”

By doing so, you are communicating the message that each member of the team that is important, and that it is okay to model teamwork and cooperation.


3. Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?

Good leaders are task oriented.

Great leaders are also task oriented but they balance that with true concern for the development and well being over everybody on their team.

If you have a natural tendency to try and help your team find their talents and discover how and where they can contribute, that is a great sign that that you have the ability to lead your team and boost morale.


4. Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?

Sometimes, the best thing that a leader can offer is quiet yet sincere advocacy both for the ideas that they believe in, or for the people on their teams.

If you have the ability and the willingness to do this, you are already well on your way to becoming a leader.

If people know that you are willing to stand up for them and protect their interests, they will be more willing to follow your lead and believe in your leadership abilities.


5. Would you rather seek consensus than victory?

It is a common misconception that a great leader is always seeking victory when it comes to disagreements and confrontations.

This is untrue.

“GOOD LEADERS RECOGNISE THAT WINNING BATTLES OFTEN RESULTS IN HURT FEELINGS AND RESENTMENTS.”

These things can have a negative impact on morale and future interactions with the parties who ended up on the losing side of the confrontation.

If your natural instinct is to find common ground and work towards solutions that benefit everybody, and that make everybody feel good about the resolution, you have one of the most important leadership qualities that there is.






6. Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Not only do good leaders seek compromise and consense wherever there is controversy, they also know that it is often wise to avoid controversy altogether.

Many people believe that conflict avoidance is something that others will take as a sign of weakness.

In reality, this couldn’t be further than the truth. Think about it. Everybody knows at least one person who continually is at battle with somebody over something.

They seemingly cannot let anything go, and so they move from one confrontation to another. It is very rare to see these types of people in leadership positions, and when they are in leadership positions, they are often seen as bullies.

Somebody who has innate leadership skills wisely chooses their battles. The result is that when they do decide to take a firm stance on something, that stance is usually respected.


7. Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?

A great leader is primarily focused on the development of others.

This means overseeing their growth and training as employees, ensuring that they are happy and fulfilled with the work that they are doing, and ensuring that they are recognised for their accomplishments.

“ALL TOO OFTEN, WHEN A TEAM IS SUCCESSFUL, ALL OF THE PRAISE AND CREDIT GOES TO THE PERSON AT THE TOP.”

A great leader doesn’t let that happen. They ensure that everybody involved receives specific and meaningful credit for their contributions.

If you have a tendency to pass compliments on to others, it can be a sign that you recognise the importance of giving credit where credit is due.
Summary

As you can see, there is every bit as much value in quiet, competent leadership as there is in a loud and brash leadership style.

In fact, in many cases, quiet leaders who truly care about their teams, work as hard as they demand others to work, and are willing to take principled stands, are more respected than their often demanding and confrontational counterparts.

So, if you are an introvert, contemplative in nature, and have a quiet demeanour, don’t assume that leadership is not in the cards for you. The truth is, these characteristics may be signs that your innate leadership skills are much stronger than you realise.
Let us quickly recap on the questions featured in this article:
Are you willing to come in early and stay late?
Will you step in when a team member needs help?
Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?
Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?
Would you rather seek consensus than victory?
Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?



If you would like to develop your leadership skills, you can make the effort to find ways to act as a leader where you are right now.

You don’t need a promotion or a title to be a leader. You can mentor co-workers, be a source of practical and emotional support, and simply be willing to work just a bit harder than is expected of you.

You can also find your voice by learning to express your ideas and to advocate for yourself and the people working with you.
Is there anything to like to comment on about this article? Leave a comment below.

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10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?

Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?

Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.

In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.

Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.

10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:

1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist

If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.

You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.

2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.

In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.

3. You Are Self-Motivated

Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.

You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.

4. You Care About Others

People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.

That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.

You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarise their statements and questions to show that you understand.

5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

If you have high emotional intelligence, you realise that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.

You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.

You recognise that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.

6. You’re Not Easily Distracted

You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.

You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognise the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.

You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.

7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance

No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognise the importance of making time for a social life.

You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.

You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.

You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.

8. You Know When to Say ‘No’

You have a lot of self-discipline.

Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognise that you can’t do everything.

You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”

Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.

9. You Don’t Fear Change

You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognise that it leads to better things.

10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions

You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.

You know that anger needs to be properly channelled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.

You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.

If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.

Summary

How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!

You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.

Simple things such as writing about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.

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