How To Turn A Negative Situation Into A Positive One

Negative emotions are the single biggest enemy that any of us have.

If we had no negative emotions, our lives would be wonderful — as would our relationships, our health and everything else.

I’ve spent more than 4,000 hours studying this, and today I will be providing you with some strategies for turning negative situations into positive ones.

Where Do Negative Emotions Come From?

The great business of life is to eliminate negative emotions. To solve this, we have to answer the question:

Where do negative emotions come from?

Almost all negative emotions depend on blaming someone or something else for negative situations that happen in their life. The problem here then, is that people hold on to those negative emotions, even if they cannot change the outcome and are angry about it.
The Key To Eliminating Negative Emotions

The key to eliminating negative emotions is this:

Take responsibility for yourself, your reactions and your situation.

You cannot take responsibility for your life, your situation, and your reactions and be negative at the same time. Your mind can only focus on one thought at a time, positive or negative.

So anytime you feel negative say to yourself over and over again:

“I am responsible.”

You might be thinking right now: “But Brian, in a situation involving other people, how can I be responsible for what they did?”

Here’s how: In every situation, whether it involves you directly or not, you are always at least partially responsible for what happened.

You got yourself into the situation, you stayed in the situation, you did or said certain things in the situation, so you’re not completely innocent. You at least had something to do with it.

Here’s another possibility: Let’s say you had nothing to do with the negative situation, maybe you weren’t involved at all. You’re still responsible for how you respond to it.

This is what is called your ‘response-ability’ — your ability to respond in a positive way. And again, to respond in a positive way, you simply repeat to yourself “I am responsible.”
You Have Complete Control

The truth is nobody can make you feel negative, other than you. If you think about things that make you feel unhappy or angry, you are going to feel negative. If you think about things that make you happy and excited about your life, you will feel positive.

The most important thing to remember about negative feelings is this: you have complete control over the way you feel, the way you respond to any situation and the things you think about at any minute of the day.

Exercise your ability to respond positively, take responsibility for your role in negative situations, and allow yourself to let go of negative feelings that might be trapped inside of you.

Before we wrap up, I’d like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers:


“Accept complete responsibility for every part of your life. Refuse to blame others or make excuses.” 

Now I’d love to hear from you. So my question today is:

“Which recent negative situation in your life can you turn into a positive?”

Leave a comment below, and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.


Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Apply The 80/20 Rule To Everything In Time And Life Management

Before you begin work, always ask yourself, “Is this task in the top 20% of my activities or in the bottom 80%?

The 80/20 Rule is one of the most helpful of all concepts of time and life management. It is also called the Pareto Principle after its founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who first wrote about it in 1895. Pareto noticed that people in his society seemed to divide naturally into what he called the “vital few,” the top 20% in terms of money and influence, and the “trivial many,” the bottom 80%.

The Great Discovery
He later discovered that virtually all economic activity was subject to this Pareto Principle as well.

For example, this rule says that 20% of your activities will account for 80% of your results. 20% of your customers will account for 80% of your sales. 20% of your products or services will account for 80% of your profits. 20% of your tasks will account for 80% of the value of what you do, and so on.

This means that if you have a list of ten items to do, two of those items will turn out to be worth as much or more than the other eight items put together.

The Greatest Payoff
Here is an interesting discovery. Each of these tasks may take the same amount of time to accomplish. But one or two of those tasks will contribute five or ten times the value as any of the others.

Often, one item on a list of ten things that you have to do can be worth more than all the other nine items put together. This task is invariably the one that you should do first.

The Most Valuable Tasks
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex. But the payoff and rewards for completing these tasks efficiently can be tremendous. For this reason, you must adamantly refuse to work on tasks in the bottom 80% while you still have tasks in the top 20% left to be done.

Before you begin work, always ask yourself, “Is this task in the top 20% of my activities or in the bottom 80%?”

Getting Started
The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you seem to be naturally motivated to continue. There is a part of your mind that loves to be busy working on significant tasks that can really make a difference. Your job is to feed this part of your mind continually.

Managing Your Life
Time management is really life management, personal management. It is really taking control over the sequence of events. Time management is control over what you do next. And you are always free to choose the task that you will do next. Your ability to choose between the important and the unimportant is the key determinant of your success in life and work.

Effective, productive people discipline themselves to start on the most important task that is before them. They force themselves to eat that frog, whatever it is. As a result, they accomplish vastly more than the average person and are much happier as a result. This should be your way of working as well.

Action Exercises
Make a list of all the key goals, activities, projects and responsibilities in your life today. Which of them are, or could be, in the top 10% or 20% of tasks that represent, or could represent, 80% or 90% of your results?

Resolve today that you are going to spend more and more of your time working in those few areas that can really make a difference in your life and career, and less and less time on lower value activities.

We'd love to meet you. Why not join our FREE private Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Have You Ever Hit a Brick Wall?

Have you ever hit a brick wall, something so solid and immovable that you can't see any way around it, no matter how hard you try? It can cause you to feel a failure, perhaps isolated from others, as despair and frustration set in. Life doesn't always go to plan; in fact sometimes we can feel that we're dealing with a problem so complex and unassailable that there are no options left from which we can salvage a good outcome.

I'm sure many of us have at times had this experience, of insurmountable problems, no way forward and perhaps excessive demands being placed on us, maybe all at the same time.

- Work, relationships, home life, health and friends are all areas that can sometimes seem to be operating in an unhelpful and unsupportive way. There may be conflicting demands or responsibilities that require much of our time, energy and attention Sometimes we may need to acknowledge that our desired plans and choices are not feasible at the present point in time.

- Be strong and admit if something's not working. There's no shame in trying something new; it's often a great learning experience, can introduce you to new people and allow you to explore other options. But recognise if it's time to stop banging your head on that brick wall. Others will usually appreciate your honesty, see you as more human and may even suggest a referral to someone who's in a position to help.

- Appreciate that impediments and immovable objects can sometimes provide a useful interlude for you to stop and audit your plans. Dedicate time to review, evaluate and even revise your commitment to your latest project or course of action. Enforced reflection can be a valuable investment of your time.

- There may be some merit in using your temporary timeout to conduct a survey or canvas staff, clients or colleagues for their views. While you're considering your next step why not ask for their opinions, how they view your business or enquire whether they have suggestions to help you grow or improve what you already offer? Other people see things from a different perspective and their feedback may provide valuable insights which could spur you on to a renewed plan of action.

- Accept that your loss of direction may have caused your associates to temporarily lose confidence in you. Management are often expected to be problem-solvers, with all the answers and so, depending on the closeness of your relationships, it may be disconcerting for your team to see you in such a different light. Explain sufficiently and reassure those who need it.

- If you've hit a brick wall it may be appropriate for you to take yourself away from the situation and seek advice elsewhere, in a more confidential arena. Many business owners appreciate the role that a mentor, coach, confidante or partner can play, someone who's survived setbacks or whose support and input they value and respect. A counsellor may help them rediscover their confidence, focus and self-belief again. Stressful situations can be draining and cause loss of direction as well as mental and emotional debilitation. Sharing the load, talking things through and being heard, understood and supported can make a huge difference.

- Many business owners experience self-doubt or a loss of direction at times. Find a setting where you can exchange ideas and problem-solve. Maybe someone you've met at a conference, network meeting or on a business forum would be happy to provide time to talk through your situation in a safe, confidential setting or you could initiate a discussion on a site where contributors are happy to openly discuss solutions and the lessons learned from their experiences.

- Stepping away for a time to reconnect with the personal areas of life can provide a therapeutic break, a chance to clear your mind and regain a more appropriate perspective. Time spent may enable you to appreciate that you don't have to be perfect or do it all yourself. It may be viable to outsource or hire areas of expertise or begin to align yourself with someone who has complementary skills. Viable solutions often become apparent after a break.

- Do something that lifts your spirits and reminds you why you do what you do. One of my friends test drove a super-car, returning afterwards feeling revitalised and ten feet tall. Others may be motivated after time spent with family or at the spa or golf range. Take a break and step back from your 'wall'. Find something that rewards you and reminds you of your worth. Use that to give a boost to your confidence, with time to recharge and enjoy a distraction.

Being 'resilient' is often thought of as being tough, strong and keeping going no matter what. In fact resilience demands that we stop occasionally, take stock of things, adapt and grow in the light of new challenges and goals. Hitting a brick wall indicates that something is not working as initially anticipated. The companies I work with and the workshops I run, place a high value on training staff and management to be resilient by taking stock of the present moment and learning to adapt to an ever-changing and unpredictable future. We discover that a brick wall or loss of direction can be worked around.

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10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously, during this time I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

He came for a surprise visit this past weekend, and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend.

When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

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How To Turn A Negative Situation Into A Positive One

Negative emotions are the single biggest enemy that any of us have.

If we had no negative emotions, our lives would be wonderful — as would our relationships, our health and everything else.

I’ve spent more than 4,000 hours studying this, and today I will be providing you with some strategies for turning negative situations into positive ones.


Where Do Negative Emotions Come From?

The great business of life is to eliminate negative emotions. To solve this, we have to answer the question:

Where do negative emotions come from?

Almost all negative emotions depend on blaming someone or something else for negative situations that happen in their life. The problem here then, is that people hold on to those negative emotions, even if they cannot change the outcome and are angry about it.
The Key To Eliminating Negative Emotions

The key to eliminating negative emotions is this:

Take responsibility for yourself, your reactions and your situation.

You cannot take responsibility for your life, your situation, and your reactions and be negative at the same time. Your mind can only focus on one thought at a time, positive or negative.

So anytime you feel negative say to yourself over and over again:

“I am responsible.”

You might be thinking right now: “But Brian, in a situation involving other people, how can I be responsible for what they did?”

Here’s how: In every situation, whether it involves you directly or not, you are always at least partially responsible for what happened.

You got yourself into the situation, you stayed in the situation, you did or said certain things in the situation, so you’re not completely innocent. You at least had something to do with it.

Here’s another possibility: Let’s say you had nothing to do with the negative situation, maybe you weren’t involved at all. You’re still responsible for how you respond to it.

This is what is called your ‘response-ability’ — your ability to respond in a positive way. And again, to respond in a positive way, you simply repeat to yourself “I am responsible.”
You Have Complete Control

The truth is nobody can make you feel negative, other than you. If you think about things that make you feel unhappy or angry, you are going to feel negative. If you think about things that make you happy and excited about your life, you will feel positive.

The most important thing to remember about negative feelings is this: you have complete control over the way you feel, the way you respond to any situation and the things you think about at any minute of the day.

Exercise your ability to respond positively, take responsibility for your role in negative situations, and allow yourself to let go of negative feelings that might be trapped inside of you.

Before we wrap up, I’d like to leave you with a thought to share with your friends and followers:

“Accept complete responsibility for every part of your life. Refuse to blame others or make excuses.” @BrianTracy

Now I’d love to hear from you. So my question today is:

“Which recent negative situation in your life can you turn into a positive?”

Leave a comment below, and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

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5 Genuine Reasons to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

You know what the comfort zone is? It is a disease which kills people’s dreams, limits their lives, and stops them from coming up with innovative breakthroughs.

Our societies are filled with people which are extremely “comfy” with their present conditions while displaying no intentions for change; and even if they do want to change, they’re most likely to delay taking action towards their objectives.

Now that was my rage voice. Let’s analyze the concept of “comfort zone” using an easier explanation:

The comfort zone = Anything that keeps your anxiety away.


It’s basically the state in which you mostly care about certainty: the certainty that you’ll feel comfortable, the certainty that nothing’s going to bother your mind, and the certainty that “everything’s in place” and you’re on the right path.

Stepping out of your comfort zone = Performing actions that could trigger short-term anxiety, discomfort, and pain.

5 Reasons to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
The effects of your actions will generate two different outcomes: you’ll feel uncomfortable while having to bear with the pain is the first one;the second outcome is the progress, the overcoming of an obstacle, or the extinguish-ment of a dis-empowering belief.

I honestly urge you to start becoming aware (if you haven’t by now) of your current comfort zone state. Just in case you want to maybe…just maybe…be more than mediocre, I’d highly encourage you to read further.

Here are the main reasons for which you have to step out of your comfort zone, immediately:

1. It Leads to Long-Term Stagnation

Successful people never stop learning. After researching a handful of biographies and stories of people who have changed the world, I found out that successful people possess a lot of powerful beliefs; not only that they have them, but they also nurture and care for them.

One of the most common habits of thinking that successful people have in common?

“Never stop learning, and never stop the progress”. You see, life is a journey, not a race towards a finish line.

By continuously taking action towards improvement, you’re consistently stepping out of your comfort zone. Therefore, you’ll expand your boundaries and your mental limits.

Life will start looking better and better, and it’s all because you choose to actively improve yourself.


2. It Encourages You to Stop Taking Responsibility for All Aspects of Your Life

How does it feel when people blame you for something that you haven’t done?

You feel an urge to appeal to justice, protect yourself, and turn the blame back. The whole blaming, arguing, and the feeling-bad-after process is caused by the fact that people do not assume responsibility for their lives.

Assuming responsibility for your life means perceiving your thoughts, actions, and beliefs as your sole responsibility. Even if sometimes you just can’t control the outcomes, don’t let your impulsive spirit take over, influence your behavior, and have you put the blame on someone else.

If you consciously begin to assume your mistakes and assume full responsibility for all the events that are happening to you on a daily basis, you’re consciously stepping out of your comfort zone. Which is good. It’s really good!

People that find themselves in a deep, deep comfort zone state, they mostly put the blame on faith, karma, other people, bad luck, and a million more things. They always come up with reasons, and guess what: according to their thinking and beliefs, their lack of success and their present state of mediocrity is NOT THEIR FAULT.

Are you identifying with the situation? Are you blaming others? Almost nothing’s your fault? If you get positive answers, I’m urging you to step out of your present comfort zone before it’s too late.

3. It Kills the Possibility of Experiencing Great Accomplishments

I really can’t find a better reason for not hearing about you, the reader of this article, other than the fact that you haven’t done anything to distinguish yourself from other people.

Bill Gates? Of course, I know who he is…you know too; For me, he’s firstly a man that doesn’t afford to lay in a comfort zone. That’s why you’ve heard of him, I heard of him, and probably even your neighbors have heard about him.

“Famous” people are always idolatrized and perceived as great individuals and life models. Honestly, most of them deserve the average people’s respect.

That’s mainly because of their strong will to endure greater deals of pain and discomfort, all in order to overstep their boundaries.

We mostly hear about the final success stories of these individuals. We know what they’ve done, their net revenues are displayed on hundreds of online and offline resources, and we’re given the impression that that’s all that there is.
In fact, the details behind the curtain look totally different. Thousands of hours of hard work, hundreds of failures, and millions of problems, well…these are just a few of the hidden elements that have led to these success stories.

4. It Banishes Motivation and Limits Your Performances

Action is the fuel of life. Whenever we move around, do things, experience feelings because of what we do or see; it’s all about a continuous movement. If we take consistent action, we’re improving our personal power and along with our motivation levels.

If we experience feelings of motivation, stepping out of our comfort zones won’t be an issue. Using our motivation, we can finally take action and set the foundation of our long-term plans and goals.

If we’re willing to actively and consistently take action, practice will lead us to mastery. When we master our jobs, businesses, or fields of activity, we will step out of the ordinary and improve our lives.


5. It Blocks New perspectives and Life-Changing Opportunities

We live in a digital world in which we can easily get access to infinite amounts of information. We can buy a plane ticket and switch cultures by traveling to the opposite side of the world. Unlike a few decades ago, our possibilities are extremely volatile and much more numerous.

One aspect that differentiates people from one another is the MINDSET. Our beliefs are part of our mindsets, and our mindsets dictate the quality of our feelings, actions, performances, and eventually the quality of our happiness.

Closed-minded people are most likely to rot in a comfort zone state for a long time. If they’re not willing to even consider new angles, new perceptions, new perspectives, they’re never going to step out of the box.

The first steps towards positive change should be the desire to unlock new levels of consciousness, to eliminate bad habits of thinking, and to extinguish dis-empowering beliefs.

Being flexible and open minded will encourage your intellectual growth. It’ll also allow you to spot and seize tempting present opportunities. If you manage to apply this tip, you should expect things to change quickly, and all for the better.
Conclusion

Is there much more to say? Of course; there are so much more reasons for which comfort zone decreases the quality of a person’s life. However, I really hope that you’ve got the whole idea.

Comfortable is bad; at least for now, a moment in which you’re probably not fully satisfied with your life. My advice? Start being active! This is the best thing you can to ensure consistent improvement and life fulfillment.

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Investing In Yourself Is A Must For An Extraordinary Life

If you are not investing in your personal development, you are brutally limiting your true potential.

Personal development impacts your entire life, not just your work life, business life or your personal life.

It's shocking how many people don't try to improve themselves and sadly, these are the exact people who often complain how unfair life treats them and wonder why they are always dwelling in mediocrity.

In brief, here are some guidelines to follow when you embark your personal development journey:

#1 Imagine How You Want to Design Your Life

Without a vision, men perish.

You need a clear picture of where you want to go in order to determine what kind of life you want to live.

Success is change. You need to pre-determine the kinds of changes you must go through professionally and personally in order to arrive the Promised Land you've never reached.

What you practice in private will emanate in the public. Personal and professional lives always intertwine with each other.

For example, if you imagine yourself being more compassionate and forgiving to others, this trait will exude and impact both of your lives.

Also, if you wanted to develop your leadership skill for your local community, such improvement of skill will easily be transferrable to your professional career as well.

The key is to identify and imagine the kind of person you have to become in order to achieve your goals.

#2 Have A Reality Check

Before you resolve to any changes in your life, make sure you know where you are standing right now.

Discovering your current strengths and weaknesses will help you formulate a plan of action to make the necessary changes meaningful and effective.

#3 Set Ambitious Yet Realistic Goals

Once you know what your strengths and weaknesses are, create both long-term and short-term goals that you need to achieve in order to move towards your ultimate destination.

Never set goals without an action plan. You must set concrete, quantifiable, manageable milestones with clear deadlines so that you feel the urgency to take action and get things done.

#4 When Things Don't Work Out As Planned, Change

Change is the only constant in the Universe.

When plan A doesn't work out, you need to try plan B, plan C and so on until you succeed.

Planning doesn't guarantee success because no one can predict all the uncertainties that are shaping the future.

So don't be discouraged when your initial personal development plan fails. When you hit a roadblock, it simply means it's time for alternative solutions.

#5 Track & Evaluate How You Are Doing

When you have a small victory, have a look how you did against the plan of action steps.

This is critical because you always want to learn from any potential mistakes and subtle lessons along the way. Be brutally honest and truthful when you do your self-assessment.

Be okay if you suck at anything in the first few times. Mastery of anything takes years or even decades to develop.

Alternatively, have someone else perform this objective evaluation for you. It will definitely sound painful and ego-busting when you hear the brutal truth, but the benefits will well worth it.

Finally, remember to keep your personal development simple.

Don't overwhelm yourself with unobtainable goals that are setting yourself up for failure.

Sure, push yourself, expand your limit and keep going every day.

But always be aware of your current capabilities so that you are motivated enough to stay in the long game instead of giving up too early.

If you are committed to your daily tiny investment on yourself, you'll be assured to lead an extraordinary life very soon.

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Throw Out Your Negative Thoughts

Did you know that negative thinking is the cause of most of our problems? It causes us to focus on life with a negative perspective and dwell on the problems we have. We think about all the bad things that are going to happen to us and we can't even see the possibility of anything good happening. We defeat ourselves with our negative thoughts that quickly turn into negative words and actions.

If negative thoughts are constantly coming into our head, we should try to throw them out and replace them with positive thoughts. You may be thinking that this isn't possible but of course it is. Many people have been able to change their thinking with a lot of effort and patience, including myself.

How do you throw out your negative thoughts? First you need to consciously be aware of what you are thinking, then stop yourself and replace the thought with something positive.

Let's look at some examples:

What would you do if a fly flew in your face? Just ignore it and let it crawl around or would you shoo it away?

What would you do if a car drove by you in a rainstorm and splashed mud on your pants? Just leave the dirt on your clothes or try to wipe it off?

What would you do if you tried on an outfit in a clothing store and it didn't fit? Just leave it on and buy it or take it off and try on something else?

The answers are pretty obvious. You would do something about the problem. You would shoo away the fly, try to wipe off your pants and try on other clothing until you found something that looked good. You wouldn't accept the problem and not take action.

So why would you allow negative thoughts to remain in your mind when they are causing problems for you? Start taking action and get rid of them! You can't have a positive life with a negative mind, so work at throwing out those negative thoughts.

Try to be consciously aware of what you are thinking and make positive changes before those negative thoughts take root in your mind. Create a new habit of positive thinking! It really changes your life and you CAN actually be happy MOST of the time if you continually work at it. 

Happy thinking!

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Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.

We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.


Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life

Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.


It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.

2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.


3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

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6 Great Ways to Stick to Your Daily Routine

Are you the type of person that struggles to grasp the concept of routine? Here’s everything you need to know.

In the movie Groundhog Day (if you haven’t seen this yet, then go do that right away!), Phil (the protagonist) finds that he is in a sort of a time warp, living the same day over and over again. There’s a scene in which Phil talks to a local at the bar.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place, and every day was exactly the same, and nothing you did mattered?

Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

In a way, even though Ralph wasn’t literally living the same day over and over again (like Phil was), he was still doing the same things over and over, day in and day out. Ralph was stuck in routines that didn’t matter.

Having a Daily Routine

My younger self hated routine. I hated discipline and I didn’t understand the reason why rules existed or why they were being imposed on me. Admittedly, in retrospect, they were in part being imposed because of some tyrannical desire of the enforcer.

But, a tiny part of me knew that there was also the possibility that routine exists because it instills in you, some kind of responsibility. But, no, it wasn’t for me. I detested routine so vehemently and I hid that fact so cleverly.

Then I grew up. Being an adult is tough. It’s tough because you don’t have a routine being imposed on you anymore, unless you’re well, in prison, in which case you don’t really have a choice. But otherwise, you are free to do exactly as you please.

People will tell you to break out of routine and do exciting things that challenge you. And while this may sound good, it is not necessarily always a good thing.


The Disadvantage of Routines

Routine makes you forget why you are doing what you do. “Practice” might make perfect what I can tell you (from personal experience), it also makes for a loss of passion.

And this can be incredibly harmful, both personally and professionally (We talked about this in Dealing with disillusionment in tech).


The Advantages of Routines

The trouble with growing up, as I soon discovered, was that I had gotten so accustomed to sticking to a routine that I didn’t know what it was like to work without one. This is a problem creatives face almost every day.

Creativity isn’t supposed to be work and creatives are generally not too happy with sticking to a schedule. Often, it actually becomes difficult to channel creativity, which is inherently spontaneous, into work, which is almost everything but.


Working for a software firm now, I often like to relate the process of software development to the process of writing a story.

It’s almost like magic, when all the different pieces finally fall together and you have a finished product that you can be proud of.

This is why it requires just as much creativity and out-of-the-box thinking as say, a designing/writing job, if one has to be a truly accomplished programmer.
6 Great Ways to Stick to Your Daily Routine

Now coming to the crux of why you need routine, I will sum it up in the following words – Being creative and innovative is not sufficient. You also need to get things done.

Here are 6 great ways to set a good routine and stick to it.


1) Define Your Routine

And in order to get things done, you need to have a process. Every individual would do well to develop a process that works well for them.

If you’re a leader, instill that sense of process in your team members. A good routine could well be the difference between simply talking about things, and actually getting out there and accomplishing them.


2) Have A Cheat Day

What I’m trying to say is: don’t stick to your routine. I probably sound like I’m contradicting myself here but I’m not. Once you have found a process that works for you, make sure you set aside a day of the week on which you don’t stick to your routine.

Put aside that one day to do things differently or do different things. You never know! You might find a new way to do things. You might even find something, to work on, that you had never really considered significant before.


3) Have A Pre-Routine
Before you actually start your routine, do something that doesn’t challenge you much. For me, the beginning of the day is when I read up on the latest articles or any news bits in tech that I might have missed.

It takes little to no effort to get started on this, but because I have mentally included it to be part of my routine, I can be prepared for what I have to do next.

4) Don’t Play the Blame-Game

Procrastination is our worst enemy. I have spent ages procrastinating, when I should have been working, and eventually blaming someone else for my lack of results. Having a routine makes you aware of what you didn’t get done, and consequently puts the ownership of your work entirely in your hands.

I’ve found that it’s easier for me to assess my performance if I have set aside some benchmarks for what I expect of myself.

No one else can do that for you. Make yourself accountable for your work.


5) Calendars and To-do Lists

Use a to-do list for one-off activities and schedule your recurring activities on Google Calendars. The best part about Calendars are the pop-ups and notifications that make sure you don’t forget to get something done.

When you’re reminded/told to do something, there’s a greater chance that you’ll actually do it.


6) Eliminate Hindrances

A new routine is difficult to stick to and often you’ll find yourself faced with distractions that can lead you astray. What you can do is examine your routine and identify those exact moments where you feel like things are going south.

Once you pay more attention to the difficult bits, it makes it easier for you to stick to a routine as a whole.



To sum up, routine is an important part being able to consistently put all your effort and focus on your dreams. Which is why adopting the habit of a good daily routine is something you definitely need to do. As you get into that habit, you’ll find it harder to get out of.

Here’s a recap on 6 great ways to stick to your daily routine:
Define your routine
Have a cheat day
Have a pre-routine
Don’t play the blame game
Calendars and to-do lists
Eliminate hindrances



Thanks for reading, don’t forget to comment below with your thoughts!

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How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

You’re an introvert.

You don’t have a boisterous personality. You’ve never seen an actual popularity contest, but you are certain if you were in one, that you wouldn’t win. Clearly, you aren’t cut out to be a leader.

Are you?

That depends. If one were to believe the depiction of leaders that exists in movies, television, books, and the classroom, the answer to that question might be yes.

After all, based on the typical portrayal of a leader, aren’t the brash, outgoing, forceful, outspoken, and charismatic? How can a person without these characteristics be an effective leader?
How to Discover Leadership Qualities Within Yourself

Here’s the truth. You can be a great leader without possessing the nature or personality traits of the stereotypical leader that has been presented to you. You have innate leadership qualities.

You just have to figure out what they are, and how you can use them.

Try to answer the following questions, and you might discover these qualities within yourself.

1. Are you willing to come in early and stay late?

You may have received messaging that tells you that good leaders get people to perform by having a commanding presence.

This isn’t true.

Successful leaders earn the respect of their teams when they lead by example. This means demonstrating the willingness to put in the same work that your team puts in.

If you are willing to put in the same long hours that your team must work, you’ve already established some leadership abilities.


2. Will you step in when a team member needs help?

Shouldn’t true leaders model adherence to firm expectations?


Shouldn’t they demand that team members overcome their own struggles and contribute effectively?

Doesn’t that help equal enabling?

You might think that your desire to help people around you is a weakness. It is not. When you help somebody, you aren’t modelling being taken advantage of.

You aren’t modelling permitting irresponsibility.

“AS A LEADER, YOUR ABILITY TO RECOGNISE AND STEP IN TO HELP SOMEBODY IS PRICELESS.”

By doing so, you are communicating the message that each member of the team that is important, and that it is okay to model teamwork and cooperation.


3. Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?

Good leaders are task oriented.

Great leaders are also task oriented but they balance that with true concern for the development and well being over everybody on their team.

If you have a natural tendency to try and help your team find their talents and discover how and where they can contribute, that is a great sign that that you have the ability to lead your team and boost morale.


4. Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?

Sometimes, the best thing that a leader can offer is quiet yet sincere advocacy both for the ideas that they believe in, or for the people on their teams.

If you have the ability and the willingness to do this, you are already well on your way to becoming a leader.

If people know that you are willing to stand up for them and protect their interests, they will be more willing to follow your lead and believe in your leadership abilities.


5. Would you rather seek consensus than victory?

It is a common misconception that a great leader is always seeking victory when it comes to disagreements and confrontations.

This is untrue.

“GOOD LEADERS RECOGNISE THAT WINNING BATTLES OFTEN RESULTS IN HURT FEELINGS AND RESENTMENTS.”

These things can have a negative impact on morale and future interactions with the parties who ended up on the losing side of the confrontation.

If your natural instinct is to find common ground and work towards solutions that benefit everybody, and that make everybody feel good about the resolution, you have one of the most important leadership qualities that there is.






6. Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Not only do good leaders seek compromise and consense wherever there is controversy, they also know that it is often wise to avoid controversy altogether.

Many people believe that conflict avoidance is something that others will take as a sign of weakness.

In reality, this couldn’t be further than the truth. Think about it. Everybody knows at least one person who continually is at battle with somebody over something.

They seemingly cannot let anything go, and so they move from one confrontation to another. It is very rare to see these types of people in leadership positions, and when they are in leadership positions, they are often seen as bullies.

Somebody who has innate leadership skills wisely chooses their battles. The result is that when they do decide to take a firm stance on something, that stance is usually respected.


7. Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?

A great leader is primarily focused on the development of others.

This means overseeing their growth and training as employees, ensuring that they are happy and fulfilled with the work that they are doing, and ensuring that they are recognised for their accomplishments.

“ALL TOO OFTEN, WHEN A TEAM IS SUCCESSFUL, ALL OF THE PRAISE AND CREDIT GOES TO THE PERSON AT THE TOP.”

A great leader doesn’t let that happen. They ensure that everybody involved receives specific and meaningful credit for their contributions.

If you have a tendency to pass compliments on to others, it can be a sign that you recognise the importance of giving credit where credit is due.
Summary

As you can see, there is every bit as much value in quiet, competent leadership as there is in a loud and brash leadership style.

In fact, in many cases, quiet leaders who truly care about their teams, work as hard as they demand others to work, and are willing to take principled stands, are more respected than their often demanding and confrontational counterparts.

So, if you are an introvert, contemplative in nature, and have a quiet demeanour, don’t assume that leadership is not in the cards for you. The truth is, these characteristics may be signs that your innate leadership skills are much stronger than you realise.
Let us quickly recap on the questions featured in this article:
Are you willing to come in early and stay late?
Will you step in when a team member needs help?
Is it important for you that every member of a team is valued?
Will you stand up for an idea you believe in or advocate for a coworker?
Would you rather seek consensus than victory?
Do you recognise the value of picking your battles?
Are you willing to give credit to others for their contributions?



If you would like to develop your leadership skills, you can make the effort to find ways to act as a leader where you are right now.

You don’t need a promotion or a title to be a leader. You can mentor co-workers, be a source of practical and emotional support, and simply be willing to work just a bit harder than is expected of you.

You can also find your voice by learning to express your ideas and to advocate for yourself and the people working with you.
Is there anything to like to comment on about this article? Leave a comment below.

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