What Are You Searching For?

I have not yet met anyone in my world travels who didn't want a little more inner peace. And, I have never encountered anyone who would trade a little money to rid themselves of their stress and worries.

So, is this what each of us is secretly or overtly searching for? Well, to be truthful I'm not sure. People who say they want less stress continue to pursue wealth, fame, power, position and more stuff. People who say they want to be happy often seem to sabotage this goal with poor choices, bad judgment and emotional immaturity. And people who say they want more inner peace still harbor old emotional baggage, replay old slights and hurts and let other people control their behaviors, attitudes, emotions and even their thoughts.

If we are truly searching for any or all the items listed above one would have to wonder whether we are just giving lip service to these goals, desires and dreams or if we really want them but just don't seem to know where to find them, how to achieve them or how to keep them.

I too have been guilty. I am just like you in that I would like a little more happiness and a little less stress yet when it comes to doing what is necessary I often fall short.

Sure, I have read all the books, hundreds and hundreds of them, attended the seminars, had personal coaches, spent hours and even weeks setting and planning my personal goals and dreams and spent more hours than I can remember praying and meditating and yet, here I sit from time to time, still questioning whether all this reading, study and searching is worthwhile.

During my years of study, research and searching I have come to a few conclusions.

1) Many of the people who supposedly have it figured out, don't. 

2) Many of the people who preach and teach this stuff to others and get paid handsomely to do so, don't have a clue. 

3) Some of the people who you would least expect to have the answers often do. 

4) Even many of the religious fanatics, diehards or steadfast believers in God still struggle with the same issues, questions and challenges as those who have never set foot in a church or Synagogue or read the Bible.

Why is this? Are we doomed as a species to just search and never find or discover the true meaning of our life or as the title says, why we are we here?

Humans have been asking for centuries; why am I here, where am I going and what am I supposed to do with my life while I am here?

One could get easily discouraged and feeling a little sorry for themselves spending years contemplating simple questions like these.

Have you ever asked yourself any of these searching questions whether in times of doubt or discouragement or happiness and contentment? Success or failure? 

Do you have any answers yet, or are you like most of us, that you just keep on trudging ahead through life one day at a time just earning, spending, working and playing?

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:


“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.


We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.

Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life

Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.



It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.


2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.


3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

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7 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don’t Do

The restaurant manager who speaks with poise and grace to the patron complaining loudly about the wait service. The levelheaded friend you call in your greatest times of need. The compassionate but composed rescue worker who aids victims after a natural catastrophe. The partner who angers rarely, forgives easily, and assumes accountability for their actions. The successful CEO who balances her profession, her family responsibilities, and her personal hobbies with equal measures of calm and confidence.

What do these people have in common?

In two words: Emotional Intelligence. A relatively new trend in the realm of pop culture and psychology today, Emotional Intelligence — or EQ — has existed since the beginning of time. According to Psychology Today, the preeminent site for mental health education and information, Emotional Intelligence is defined as an aptitude for identifying and managing emotions, and the emotions of others. It consists of three primary skills: the ability to analyse interior emotions and the feelings of those around them, the capacity to apply emotions to tasks, and the facility to take control of emotions — whether it’s managing their own before they veer out of control, or having the strength and capability to make another person smile, settle down, or handle a situation appropriately.

Those with high Emotional “IQs” have been proven to enjoy more prosperity in life. Whether they’re in a social or professional environment, they thrive. Studies demonstrate they have fewer mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Their personal lives aren’t train wrecks, precisely because they’re lived from the point of thoughtful — and meaningful — decisions. They outperform others, excel at their jobs, are happy in their relationships, and consistently work towards attaining positive results in all aspects of life. So, the question is, what don’t they do?

Here are 7 things emotionally intelligent people, as a rule, avoid:



1. They don’t get caught up in other people’s drama.

One of the hallmarks of Emotional Intelligence is empathy, and those with high EQs extend it to everyone they cross. But there’s an enormous difference between displaying empathy towards a friend or loved one and allowing another person’s rage or misery to incense, dominate, or merely influence one’s well-being. Think of the histrionic behaviour of your co-worker who is “distraught” not because she’s going through a break-up but because her friend is. Or that cousin of yours who, instead of focusing on her individual personal crises, purposefully seeks out people who are distressed so that her problems disappear via distraction — a habit so ingrained she can’t seem to address her the complications in her own life.

Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, listen carefully, provide gentle, loving, but authoritative advice, and offer assistance. But they don’t permit others’ lives and reactions to rule their own.

2. They don’t complain.

Whining and grumbling implies two things — one, that we are victims, and two, there are no solutions to our problems. Rarely does an emotionally intelligent person feel victimised, and even more infrequently does an emotionally intelligent person feel that a solution is beyond their grasp. Instead of looking for someone or something to blame, they immediately think of how to constructively address the dilemma. They also know that their complaints influence the emotional responses of those around them, and instead search for ways to bemoan the dissolution of a relationship or a disappointment with a friend in private, effective ways — whether it’s taking a yoga class, meditating alone at a park, or simply getting their feelings out on the page.

3. They don’t always say yes — to others and themselves.

Like empathy, self-control and conviction are sure signs of an emotionally solid person. Emotionally intelligent people are well-aware that a second glass of wine will lead to negative consequences the next morning, just as they know that an invitation to go on a spontaneous weekend rendezvous will detract them from fulfilling their preexisting commitments. They are definitive about their decisions, rather than saying “I don’t know, maybe?” or “Perhaps I’ll skip the gym today,” which invites doubt — and with that, heightened anxiety, even depression.

The more often emotionally intelligent people exercise their right to say no, and the more frequently they rely on their willpower, the freer they are to concentrate on their ambitions and overall well-being.

4. They don’t gossip.

Emotionally acute people sidestep gossip as determinedly as they skirt drama. To involve themselves in scandalous talk, they know, is to shame another for a supposed error — and an emotionally intelligent person understands that all humans are equally deserving, and that what others might perceive as a mistake is an opportunity for improvement.

5. They don’t count on others for happiness or confidence.

Emotionally intelligent people are self-sufficient in all manners of life, including their contentment and peace of mind. They have learned that to bank on someone else making them feel joyful or worthy is to put themselves at risk for disappointment and hopelessness. Rather, they take their emotions in their own hands and find hobbies that delight them, strive for achievements that will lead to a sense of self-worth, and search within for love and acceptance.

6. They don’t engage in negative self-talk.

While few of us are entirely immune to thinking (or saying) pessimistic statements that begin with “I” (“I’m unattractive,” “I should have done better,” “I’m pathetic”), emotionally intelligent have the ability to curb cynical thoughts before they fall down the proverbial rabbit hole. Instead, they rely on facts to come to conclusions. For some, it’s a mere glance at their experience and accomplishments outlined on their CVs; for others, it’s the appearance of a clean and organised house, or an internal analysis of what they’ve done right.

After all, emotionally intelligent people acknowledge that negative thoughts are just that — thoughts — just as they recognise that the derogatory interior voices they hear are theirs to turn down, tune out, or silence completely.

7. They don’t dwell on the past.

People who exist more in their past than in their present are susceptible to a barrage of mental and spiritual grievances, from regret and nostalgia to agitation and trepidation. Emotionally intelligent people honour their pasts — the people they have loved, the mistakes they have made, the opportunities they’ve eschewed — but are mindful of the importance of living squarely in the here and now.

By learning from the past (instead of dwelling on it), the emotionally intelligent have the power to inform their present — without diminishing their ability to advance or harness three of the most vital emotions of all: Self-satisfaction, gratitude, and hope.

Source

Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.

We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.


Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life
Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.


It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.


2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.

3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

Source