Take a Breath!

Well, don't we always get into certain situations, even very simple ones, in which we lose our temper? Be it not finding the shirt you were planning to wear, or being stuck at a traffic jam or even spilling coke on your jeans - such trivial situations, with such simple solutions, but still some people absolutely lose their temper - not knowing how to deal with it.

It is very crucial to manage your anger. A person who doesn't have control over his anger can never deal with difficult situations in life. They will always believe that the world is "conspiring" against them. One who can't manage their anger in a positive manner needs to learn how to.

Life gives a person many difficult situations, sometimes only to teach us patience which is important in our professional & personal lives.

Why professional life?

Let us take a scenario. You have worked hard for the promotion you really want and you believe you deserve. But, the "not-so-efficient" colleague gets the promotion. 

Now, the reasonable approach to deal with this situation would be to work harder and be happy for the colleague.

People who tend to have anger issues may abuse or even resort to physical violence to get the promotion- as they believe they deserved it more.

Why personal life?

We must have once in our life come across such a situation. If you have a younger sibling, all attention, importance and hopes are with the "younger" sibling, as they are usually the 'poor little things' and can't take care of themselves, even when they are adults they are treated the same way. In some cases discriminating between girl and boy. This enrages some people to no end and rightfully so. However instead of screaming and shouting and bringing the whole house down there are other ways to handle the situation.

How to deal with it?

Dealing with the situation positively would be to prove it to everyone that you are also important. Work hard and excel. Not for them, but for yourself too.

But, how do people normally deal with such a situation? They get jealous. They tend to see the negative aspect of the situation and give up.

So, seeing the above scenarios, these are basic things we deal with every day or things we have to deal with in life - it is crucial to deal with your anger.

But, how do we manage our anger?

Here are a few tips one must always follow to manage their anger.

1. Count to 10.

Think you're going to lose it and yell at the world? Count to ten. Relax your mind. Breathe.

2. Take a deep breathe.

Take long breathes and say Om. Repeat this 4-5 times. It relaxes the mind.

3. Meditate.

Meditation is actually a very simple way to gain peace of mind and lessen the anger one feels.

4. Introspect.

Try to think about the situation in a practical manner. Are you over-reacting? Can it be solved? Is it worth it? Analyze the situation instead of getting angry.

5. Go for a walk.

Nothing works better than taking a stroll in the park when you feel you're about to lose it. It makes you forget the situation or analyze it from every angle.

6. Talk it out.

When things have calmed down, take time and discuss what upset you about the situation and instead how it should have been handled.

So, here you go! These are the main things I keep in mind when I lose my temper. So have a go at it! 

Learn to live peacefully.

As Buddha said, "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

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What I Learnt From No One Showing At My First Workshop

I have been working with a coach to create my creative transformation business and one of the first projects was my Wildly Intimate Woman workshop.

I easily found a yoga studio to host the workshop and worked with a designer to create the perfect flyer. I loved how everything was falling into place smoothly. I imagined many people showing up at the workshop. I ran Facebook ads that received many views and likes. I thought I was on the right track.

But there was a tiny voice that whispered to me. What if no one showed up? What if what I had to say wasn’t important? What if who I was wasn’t of value?

I shivered at these whispers. My response was to ignore this voice and keep doing what I had to do to make this workshop happen, even though a funny feeling stuck in my gut.

What I Learnt From No One Showing Up At My First Workshop

A week before the workshop, I received a call from the yoga studio. The lady who had burst with excitement at my workshop idea suddenly told me in a grim voice that no one had signed up.

My blood went cold. The tiny voice became louder. I told you so.

I gathered myself and told her I would actively promote my workshop even more aggressively. I stuck fliers around college campuses in the Bay Area and put up more Facebook ads.

I told myself everyday several times a day that my workshop was going to be successful and I was of value. I wrote affirmations about it every day leading up to the workshop.

The day before the workshop, I called the yoga studio again to check. I held my breath. Surely, a couple people must have signed up by then.


“I’M SORRY, NO ONE HAS SIGNED UP, PRIYANKA,” THE LADY SAID.

My whole body became stiff. My heart beat faster. My lips trembled. I wanted to cry. But I didn’t let myself. I asked her whether I should even come on the workshop day. She advised me to come in case people would show up the day of the workshop.

The morning of the workshop, I wanted to simply cancel the workshop. I wanted to run away. The voice became louder telling me I told you so over and over. I agreed with the voice. It was a logical point she was making. What was the point of showing up if no one came? I would only embarrass myself.

But something was deeply transforming in me. Deep in my body, I knew the answer. That I had to go. I had to show up for my desire no matter the outcome. I couldn’t run away.

I jumped into the shower. As the warm water drizzled down my soft skin, I began to sob uncontrollably. I turned off the faucet. But tears still washed my face clean. My whole body throbbed and shook.

After this, everything seemed to be a blur. I threw on my clothes, had a quick bite, and stuffed the goodie gift bags I brought for the workshop participants and my laptop in my car.

I parked my car, but still didn’t have the courage to walk into the yoga studio.

So I called the lady and she told me again the same thing. No one had showed up. As I walked inside, something shifted inside me. I felt the fear melting. I handed her one of the gift bags and thanked her for being supportive throughout the process.

Afterwards, I treated myself to lunch. I feasted on a delicious sandwich and smiled. This was actually alright. I was proud of myself for facing my fear and not running away. This is why my higher self wanted me to go anyway. These are the lessons she wanted me to learn.


1. Show up fully for your desire.

When a desire bubbles in your heart, it’s because your soul wants you to expand and grow. Your heart never desires anything that it doesn’t feel is possible. Live with it. Feel it. I have always desired to be a creative person. It’s what nourishes my soul. I feel happy, alive, and joyful when I write and involve myself in other creative pursuits.

The purpose of your soul is to grow and expand. How? When? Why? That is different for every single person. Next time, a desire arises in you, do not dismiss it. Sit with it. Close your eyes. Visualize your desire.

How does it feel? Indulge all your senses. Touch. Smell. See. Hear. Taste. How does your heart feel? How is your body responding?

Give yourself the time and space to do this. It doesn’t matter how your desire will be manifested or even if it will be manifested. There is peace and beauty in just feeling the desire and it’s taking you on a path you don’t even realize at the moment.

By showing up for my workshop even though no one had showed up, my fear of being seen melted away and I’m now excited to forge forward with new ideas and workshops.

2. Face your fear, instead of running away.

Up to the day of the workshop, my standard impulse of running away from what scares and pushes my comfort zone raged. I really wanted to run away because I didn’t want to face my fear. It is uncomfortable and sweaty and sticky. But something clicked in my head.

I had to change how I was feeling inside in order to change my circumstances. Instead of viewing it as a roadblock, I saw it as an opportunity for change. Something needed to be changed inside me. There was a reason I was not living my life according to my truth.

Facing your fears allows you to see the patterns in your thinking that created your self-belief so you can flip those opportunities as moments for change and adopt a new self-belief that serves you.

Remember as Pema Chodron said:


“NOTHING EVER GOES AWAY UNTIL IT HAS TAUGHT US WHAT WE NEED TO KNOW.”


3. Your self-worth and value is not determined by the outcome.

One of the most important lessons I learned from this experience that my value and self-worth are not linked to the outcome of this workshop or any external person or thing.

The fact that I showed up fully for my desire is most important and my value and true state of abundance comes from inside.

You can tap into that inner feeling and state of abundance and richness anytime and that will reflect in your external world eventually. New channels and experiences will open up and take you on an even more meaningful journey.

4. Surrender deeply to the process.
Surrendering and letting go does not mean that you are giving up in any way. It is about pouring all your energy and consciousness in the moment in front of you and releasing what happened yesterday and is to happen tomorrow.

It means you are letting your energy guide your actions. It is about being in sync with your higher self and going with the flow with a gentle trust.

This process and preparation period exists because you are not fully ready to call and accept your heart’s deepest desires. You’re not ready to call in that perfect job, relationship, or large sum of money into your life.

So you are in transition. You are going through a divine process of preparation.

It means diving in even deeper with yourself and having the patience to see the beauty of this gorgeous process. It means committing to your inner growth and evolution even more passionately.

Because when that desire does finally arrive, you will be the person you need to be to fully accept and enjoy that desire. Your higher self knew this all along. The journey and destination will be that much sweeter.


Summary
Here’s a quick recap on what I learnt from no one showing up at my first workshop:
Show up fully for your desire
Face your fear, instead of running away
Your self-worth and value is not determined by the outcome
Surrender deeply to the process
Has this article helped you? Leave a comment below.

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7 Simple Things Getting in the Way of Your Win

I am a firm believer that every single person living on this planet is born to win at whatever they put their hand on.

However, most people do not get what they desire out of life, unfortunately.


7 Simple Things Getting in the Way of Your Win

They learn to settle for much less than they want and tell themselves that they are happy with it. And here are 7 things that do get in the way…

1. You Care Too Much About The Opinions Of Others.

Do you sometimes feel like the agendas of other people in your life are coming ahead of yours?


Others may be friends, relatives, co-workers, employees, your children, anyone who seems to hold sway over what you do or do not do. This can be pretty insidious because you may actually convince yourself that it is best to do what they expect of you because that is holy, spiritual, loving.

It can make you feel like a good person, except there is this creeping resentment inside of you that refuses to go away. You feel guilty about that as well.

You want to be good and you want to help people out and you do care that people like you and it all holds you back from going after your own goals.

People do have a right to their opinions but you also have a right to your full expression and your full life. Do not cave under the pressure of trying to keep various people happy. This is your one experience of life, ensure you use it to do the work you are here to do.

2. Not Doing The Work On A Consistent Basis

Whatever goal you have in mind, there will be certain things that need to be done. Are you consistently doing the work or are you allowing your feelings to determine if you get on with the work?

One of the biggest killers of dreams is the inability to stay consistent and to show up day in, day out to do the work whether you feel like it or not. And yet, it is also the simplest thing to get you success.

There may be all kinds of obstacles in your path and yet, if you will simply commit to reaching a baseline activity level each day, you will surprise yourself with how quickly you move forward.

Right now, make a simple list of things that you are committing to doing each and every day.

If you are in business, then it needs to include communicating with your audience, list building and making offers. The list just needs to include the bare minimum things that you absolutely commit to doing daily. Of course, you give yourself permission to do even more on the days when you feel amazing.



Then make a solemn promise to yourself that you will do the work, even when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Then DO IT!


3. Trying To Be Perfect
Perfection is unnecessary and usually a procrastination tactic that gets in the way of you creating the life you desire.

Lots of entrepreneurs spend their time perfecting their product whereas their time would be better spent launching it to the market as soon as minimally viable and then improving it based on actual customer feedback.



Launch as quickly as possible. Correct and adjust based on feedback. Don’t get attached to one way of doing things. Be willing to trial different routes to market and stop waiting for the perfect way to do anything. It does not exist!


4. Self-Doubt

Can I let you into a secret?

Self-doubt is a choice. I know you may have felt helpless to change it but it really is your choice.

Self-doubt is a rehearsed response to life and its difficulties and you can simply choose to rehearse a different response. No, it is not easy but it is simple to do. Choose to check yourself whenever random negative thoughts present themselves to you and turn it around to something more positive.

I sometimes get my clients to hourly write out an ‘I AM’ list with all their positive qualities as well as all the things they are choosing to be.

This elevates their mood and they are able then to act from a place of power for at least the next 60 minutes before they do it again. After a few days/weeks of doing this, their brain is retrained towards self-belief.

You can try it for yourself. Set the timer on your phone for 60 minutes and do it.


5. Giving Up At Obstacles

Napoleon Bonaparte said “I see only my objective – the obstacles must give way.”Okay, Napoleon is not necessarily known for being nice and kind but that quote is relevant to this point and to all successful people.

In life and business, as you go for your objectives, you will have obstacles. You can be sure of it! The question is: Will they defeat you or will you defeat them? Obstacles are not roadblocks unless you make them so.

There is only way to fail – you quit – and there are many, many ways to succeed. Find your route to the win!


6. No Clarity Of Purpose

Do you actually know what you want? Clearly? Lots of people don’t!

They are experiencing goal fatigue where they give up on setting goals because it feel futile to wish for things to improve and so they settle into a life that goes nowhere and they try to ignore their boredom.

You, however, know you are born for more and so, you need to keep the vision clearly at the top of your mind. Write down your goals daily, write down your big vision regularly, write down how you choose to show up in the world.

Get clear! Define what a win means to you and refuse to back down until it is present in your world.


7. Focus on the Past

You cannot focus on the past and at the same time, create a better future. Your past has happened, it is done. There may be a few lessons to learn but really, you can draw a line under the sand and start creating a new future now. It really is your choice.

You can write out what you want to create and choose who you need to be to get that chosen future and right now, in this moment, choose to be that person until it becomes natural to you. Do it now!

As the saying goes, “Stop looking back, that is not the way you are headed”
Summary

If you will handle these 7 things, you will be much closer to winning at whatever you set your mind and heart to.


Are these things getting in the way of your win? Leave a comment below.

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Why Daily Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. It’s dark, gloomy, and absent of happiness. What you find is that talking about the unfortunate circumstances then makes you feel better. This complaining helps you feel as though something has been released. You are now relieved.
It’s the complaining that brings on this misery.

We can think that focusing on our problems and wallowing in our complaining will make us feel better, but this is all in our thinking and what you are really doing is only reaffirming the problems that brought you to this place in your mind.

That is just it. What you are complaining about and these problems are only in your mind. Life isn’t bad or good and it rather just is. Nature has no judgement about the things that happen, whether it is the grass growing or dying, it just is.
Just as your life, just is.

People who win never complain. They take life for it gives them and they make what they can out of it. One of the most powerful Tony Robbins’ quotes that I’ve heard is:

“EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND A PURPOSE, AND IT SERVES YOU.”

What I remember him saying is that he doesn’t know this to be true, but that he believes it to be true because it empowers him. That is the power of the mind.

These thoughts and things that we focus on have power over our life. We can choose to focus on the negativity and the darkness in life or we can choose to look at the things that empower us.

We can choose to focus on the things that will strengthen us and make the world a better place. You have the choice to control this one thing.


Why Daily Complaining is Ruining Your Life
Of all the things in life the one thing that we can control is our mind. We have the ability to focus on what matters and we can let go of what will hold us back.

This act of daily complaining is ruining your life. It is making you less whole. It is inhibiting you from growing and reaching your potential. Complaining is standing in the way of you and the achievement of your dreams.

The following are the four most important reasons why this daily complaining is preventing you from living the life you want to live:


1. When You Complain You Reaffirm Negativity in your Mind

The mind, like nature, will accept what you give it. If you show it complaining, it will respond to the negativity put out into the universe and the messages that you are affirming about life.

When this happens you train yourself to focus on the dark and unwanted times. Your mind becomes accustomed to negative thinking and this thus brings about your negative experiences.


It is your responsibility to give it positivity. The more positivity you give it, the more it will be able to continually come back to the good things in life. Eventually positivity is the only thing it knows and responds to.


2. You Cancel Out All the Positives

When your focus is on what you are complaining about then you forget about all the good in life. It brings you to a place where all the positives in your life are just absent from your mind.

This leads you to being unaware of good times and happiness that just might mean a great deal to you and your success.

It likely would even make the difference for you when looking back on your life and all the wonderful times you could have had an even fuller awareness of. Shift the focus and bring the attention back to the positives so that you are more aware of them.

3. You Drive Others Away from You

No one likes to be around someone that brings them down. Coming up with things that are wrong in the world or life and complaining about them will only seek to drive people to not want to be around you.

In NLP we call this a process of anchoring where we associate an external behavior such as complaining and negativity with an internal emotion such as having negative feelings about that person who complained when you are around them.

When you are the complainer then it becomes just automatic for them to associate you with those negative feelings they had while you were complaining.

You want to have people associate you with good feelings such as happiness and positivity and they will want to be around you much more.

4. Your Focus on Negativity Only Brings More Negativity

It has been said that what we think about we bring about.

When we think about negative things and bring them into greater awareness through an act such as complaining then we only bring about more of those negative events and circumstances that we were complaining about in the first place.

The much better route to take is to acknowledge your emotions and understand that this isn’t what you wanted, but now you can focus even more intensely on what you do want. This is where you get the opportunity to move forward instead of backward.

Focus is one of the most important intangibles to your success in life. It is the key that most people are missing when their focus is on things that are not leading to their goals and dreams. This complaining drives your attention away from success.

The greatest successes in life have nothing to complain about.

Some might say that it is because of where they are now, but I say that they are where they are at now because they first made the shift to focus on what is important and what will lead them to their goals rather than complaining.

This change happens in the mind first.

To be successful you have to know that the journey is all on you. In the long run you will achieve your goals not just because of other people and circumstances, but because of you and your determination.

This means that other people are not the cause of your problems. Only you are. This gives you the power to take control over your life.

This ability comes from within.

The key is attuning your focus to what matters and where you want to go. What is it that you want and how can you be grateful for what you have now?

When you find life for what’s good, then that is when life will take your breath away and when you come to realize your greatest successes.


Summary

While you may think that these outside circumstances are causing the failure in life, it is actually your mind, the attention you bring to these events, and the complaining you do about such events that are bringing you to ruin.

When you can come to the realizations that everything that happens in your life can empower you and that you have control of where your life is headed, then you can take the power back for your life. This will empower you.

This negativity that comes from complaining will only reaffirm all the negative thoughts you have in your mind. It will take your attention away from anything positive.

Complaining will drive others out of your life and will only bring about more negativity into your life. The key is to reaffirm your life with positive thoughts and actions. Bring gratitude to your life instead of complaining.
How can you find yourself when you are about to complain and transform your thoughts and words into gratitude? Leave a comment below.

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