How To Live In The Moment & Appreciate What You Have With These Tips

There is a saying, “Stop and smell the roses.” It doesn’t mean to simply smell flowers, it means to live in the moment with a great appreciation for the present and the things around you.

So let me ask you…

Do you ever stop to smell the roses?

It’s very easy to get completely caught up in planning for the future, that we often forget to take the time to appreciate the wonderful things happening in our daily lives.

I’d like to offer 3 things you can do today to live in the present and start appreciating the moment.

1) Become Very Self-Aware

The first thing you can do to live in the present is to become very self-aware.

To perform your best, acknowledge the beauty of your life and be happy, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. You are where you are and what you are because of yourself.

You have gotten yourself to where you are as the result of the choices and decisions that you have made in the past. If you want to be somewhere else in the future, it is up to you to make new and better choices and decisions in the present.

2) Embrace Your Natural State Of Being In Life

Next, start to embrace your natural state of being in life.

Your normal, natural, healthy state of being alive is a wonderful gift and should be treated that way.

Try to tune into the amount of joy you experience and the number of times you laugh on a daily basis, to demonstrate the fullness of your current life position. Acknowledge these moments and be grateful for them each time that they happen.

Eventually, reacting to these moments with gratitude will become a habit, and you will start to feel happier all the time.

3) Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

Lastly, if you want to be truly present and benefit from appreciating your daily life, you must develop an attitude of gratitude.

The habit of feeling grateful and expressing that gratitude to other people, by saying “thank you” to those in your life, and to yourself for all of the wonderful things in your life every day will have amazing effects on your personality, and your ability to live in the present.

An attitude of gratitude makes you a warmer, friendlier, and more genial. An attitude of gratitude makes you more sensitive and more aware of others around you and your environment.

The more gratitude you have, and the more gratitude you express, the happier and brighter your life will become.

When we are thankful to others and express a wonderful attitude to those around us on a regular basis, we can change the lives of others as well as our own.

Start each morning by saying, “I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.”

Repeat it over and over.

What are 2 things in your daily life that you are grateful for?

Leave a comment below, and I’ll be sure to follow up with you.

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7 Ways To Show Gratitude, Be Thankful, & Boost Your Motivation

In honor of Thanksgiving this week, I want to encourage you to voice your “attitude of gratitude”. Say thank you and give constructive feedback to your staff, friends, children, and co-workers and encourage them to be better in their lives and work.

Make it a habit to give people continual praise and encouragement. The more you praise and encourage positive constructive behaviors, the more deposits you make to the “emotional bank account.”

1) Appreciate People For Everything They Do

Always show appreciation. Every time you thank another person, you cause that person to like themselves better. You raise their self-esteem and improve their self-image. You cause them to feel more important. You make them feel that what they did was valuable and worthwhile. You empower them.

2) Build Your Own Self-Esteem By Thanking Others

And the wonderful thing about thanking other people is that, every time you say the words “thank you,” you like yourself better as well.

You feel better inside. You feel happier and more content with yourself and life. You feel more fully integrated and positive about what you are doing.

When you develop an attitude of gratitude that flows forth from you in all of your interactions with others, you will be amazed at how popular you will become and how eager others will be to help you in whatever you are doing.

3) Praise And Approve Others Continually

Another way to make people feel important and give them a sense of power and energy, is by the generous use of praise and approval. Psychological tests show that, when children are praised by the people that they look up to, their energy levels rise, their heart rates and respiratory rates increase and they feel happier about themselves overall.

4) Try “One Minute Praising”

Perhaps the most valuable lesson in Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minute Manager is his recommendation to be giving “One-Minute Praising” at every opportunity.

If you go around your home and through your social relationships praising and giving genuine and honest approval to people for their accomplishments, large and small, you will be amazed at how much more people like you and how much more willing they are to help you achieve your goals.

5) Practice The Law Of Reciprocity

There is a psychological law of reciprocity that says, “If you make me feel good about myself, I will find a way to make you feel good about yourself.”

In other words, people will always look for ways to reciprocate your kindnesses toward them. When you look for every opportunity to do and say things that make other people feel good about themselves, you will be astonished at not only how good you feel, but at the wonderful things that begin to happen all around you.

6) Pay Attention And Listen To Others

The third way to empower others, to build their self-esteem and make them feel important is simply to pay close attention to them when they talk.

The great majority of people are so busy trying to be heard that they become impatient when others are talking. But this is not for you. Remember, the most important single activity that takes place over time is listening intently to the other person when he or she is talking and expressing himself or herself.

7) Take Every Opportunity To Build People Up

Again, the three general rules for empowering the people around you, which apply to everyone you meet, are appreciation, approval, and attention.

Say thank you and voice your gratitude to others on every occasion. Praise them for every accomplishment. And pay close attention to them when they talk and want to interact with you. These three behaviors alone will make you a master of human interaction and will greatly empower the people around you.

Please leave a comment or share with your friends if you’ve enjoyed this post!

I hope that the holiday season treats you well and helps you to think about how thankful you are for what’s important in your life. As a thank you for being a loyal follower, I’d like to offer you some wonderful deals on some of my favorite products.

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The Top 5 Timeless Tips for Handling the Holiday Stress and Finding Inner Peace

“May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart!”
Eskimo proverb

The holidays are upon us.

A time of needed relaxation and more time with the people closest to us.

A time of stress and worries. A time of not all the joy you may have hoped for or been promised by upbeat advertising and movies.

It can be a time of mixed feelings.

So today I would like to share 5 powerful and timeless tips that can help you to make these holidays a more joyful and peaceful time.

1. Slow down.

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”
Lily Tomlin

First, slow down. Even if it may feel silly and if you have to force it a bit. Slow down your body, move and walk slowly.

Breathe slower and more deeply with your belly (and focus on doing just that for two minutes and see what happens).

Slow down your eating (this will not only help you to relax, it will also help you to not eat too much during the holidays since it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full).

Slow it all down and pay attention to what you are doing. Be here now and focus on doing just one thing at a time. By slowing down, by being here now, by not having your focus split between many things you – your body and your mind – start to relax.

2. Appreciate the little things instead of focusing on perfection.

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”
Winnie the Pooh

Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when everything lines up just perfectly then you are making life harder than it needs to be.

Instead, focus on appreciating things that you may take for granted.

Take two minutes and find things in your life you can appreciate now. If you want a handful of suggestions, here are a few of the things that I like to appreciate around the holidays:
All the tasty food.
My health.
My family and friends.
That I have a roof and a warm home as the snow is falling and the cold winds are blowing.
The beautiful wintery landscapes.

3. Give a bit of joy to someone else.

“Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

This may sound like an empty cliché but it surely works. One of the best ways to become happier is simply to make others happier.

When you make someone else happy you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling flows back to you.

And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong there is another upside. People will feel like giving back to you. Or like paying it forward to someone else.

And so the two (or more) of you keep building an upward spiral of for example positivity, of helping out, of cheering up and of lending a listening ear and support.

4. Focus on what is most valuable.

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.”
Eric Hoffer

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.”
Benjamin Franklin

Instead of focusing on a lot of things focus on what is most important and valuable to you.

If you still have Christmas gifts to buy then instead of giving away a lot of expensive stuff it may be better to give one thing that the person you are giving it to will truly appreciate.

Or maybe you could skip giving a physical thing altogether. And instead give away an experience that will become a special day and cherished memory for him or her or for the two of you.

However you choose to go about things over the holidays make it YOUR choices as best you can and not a bunch of shoulds that mostly make you feel deflated.

5. Just accept how you feel right now.

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
Carl Jung

Maybe you try some of the tips above. And they still can’t help you to shake that negativity, worries or stress you are carrying around. I would then suggest that you just accept that the feeling is there.

Tell yourself: This is how I feel right now and I accept it.

This might sound counter-intuitive and like you are giving up. However, by accepting how you feel instead of resisting it you reduce the emotional energy that you are feeding into this conflict or problem.

And it then tends to lose speed like a car that runs out of fuel. Sometimes the problem or conflict will then become so weak that it just moves out of your mind.

By accepting what is you have now freed up energy and your attention so your mind can become more level-headed, open and constructive once again. And you can see more clearly and take focused action towards a solution

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How to Overcome Frustration: 3 Simple but Effective Steps

Frustration. It winds you up and can take so much out of you.

Because it not only sucks energy but also distracts you and can steal quite a bit of time.

So what can you do?

Well, sometimes that frustration can actually be a positive and can give you a new idea or angle on things. Or it can give you the power to keep going just a little bit more until you reach your goal.

But when you start going in circles, when the frustration just makes you mad or your mind foggy and the day is starting to slip through your fingers then there are steps you can take.

There are ways to turn such a state of mind or day around.

Into something better. Into something more helpful. And into something that will make you feel better again.

Step 1: Be here now.

When you are frustrated then you are often somewhere in the future in your mind. Somewhere you wish you would be. Or you are reliving a stumble or failure from your past.

Snap out of those headspaces and calm down by focusing your mind and attention on what is now, right here at this moment.

You can do so by for example:
Focusing on your breathing. Sit down, close your eyes and just focus on the air going and out of your nose for 1-2 minutes. Take calm and slightly deeper breaths than usual and breathe with your belly and not your chest.
Focus on what is around you at this time. The sun shining in through your window. The kids playing out in the street and the cars and people going by. The smells and feeling of the clothes and warmth of the sun on your skin. Do this for 1-2 minutes to get your attention back to the present moment.

Step 2: Appreciate what you do have.

After you have pulled your attention back to where it can be most helpful focus it on what is still positive in your life.

The quickest and easiest way to do so is to focus it on appreciating what you do have.

A favorite of mine during this step is the important things we may sometimes take for granted. Like for instance:
A warm home and a roof over your head.
Plenty of drinkable water.
Not having to go hungry.
Access to the internet.
Your friends and family.

Spend a few minutes on this and you’ll find much to be grateful for.

Step 3: Focus on what you can do right now.

With your attention in the present moment and your mood a more grateful and positive one it is now time to get constructive about what frustrates you.

You can do that by asking yourself:

What is one small step I can take right now to improve this situation?

It may be to see what you can learn from what frustrates you and to try another path towards your goal.

Or it could be to try one more time and to keep going (because not all things in life will come to you the first, second or third time you try).

Or it could be you simply realizing that you may have taken on a bit much lately or things have been tough and that you need to take this evening or a few days to just relax, take care of yourself and perhaps simplify a bit.

So that you can recharge and then get back into moving towards what you want out of your life in a more focused way.

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How to Improve Your Mood Right Now: 3 Simple Habits

I often write about how a good start to your day often leads to having a good day in general.

A social, an energetic or a productive start sets the context for your day.

But on some days you may not get a good start for some reason.

Maybe you slept badly. Or the maybe grey skies and cold summer rain is dragging your energy down.

Or you might have lost that positive momentum during a hard first part of the day and after lunch you feel tired, low or lost in a somewhat sad or uninspired funk.

What to do then? Is that day lost and should you just aim for a better day tomorrow?

Well, today is not over yet.

Maybe you can still make something good out it.

Here’s how I do that by breaking the negative mood and getting a new start.

1. Appreciate what you have.

The simplest of my most commonly used pick-me-ups.

I take about 2 minutes and sit in silence.

I tell myself: OK, I might not feel so good right now, but what can I be grateful for and appreciate in my life?

I usually come up with one simple thing like:
My tasty food.
My health.
That I have a roof.

That one thing opens up my mind. It redirects my thoughts from the negativity.

Then I build upon that one thing. I make mental jumps from the roof, to the warmth in our home, to the fluffy cat sitting beside me on the sofa, to that I can work from home as the rain pours outside.

I make those small mental leaps by just moving my attention around in the room I am in. Like skipping from stone to stone over a stream. And I take the time to slowly appreciate all those things.

This changes my mood to a happier, warmer and more open one.

2. Act as you would like to feel.

Emotions work backwards too. So if I want to become more positive or enthusiastic then I act in the manner of a person who is positive or enthusiastic.

I might not feel like it. But I do it as best as I can anyway. I may for example:
Think of the task I have in front of me as something exciting and fun.
Answer some emails or talk to someone in a positive and enthusiastic manner.
Assume rapport if I feel unmotivated, negative or nervous before some kind of meeting (assuming rapport is to I think to myself that I am meeting one of my best friends just before the meeting and that puts me in the right mood and headspace).

3. Think for a minute and give someone a genuine compliment.

Here’s a fun one I use quite often and that will not only lift my own mood.

Spend one minute coming up with something you really and genuinely appreciate about someone in your life that is in the same room as you at some point during the day. Then tell him or her the genuine compliment you have come up with.

She or he will be happy. You’ll feel good about yourself and get positive feelings too from the now smiling, happy and complimented person. And so the mood for the both of you is changed for the better.

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8 Daily Challenges to Quickly Turn Your Life Around

If you currently feel like your life isn’t going the way you want it to, and you’re struggling to wake up every morning, knowing that what you’ve got going for right now is not to be looked forward to, then this is for you.

Here are 8 daily challenges for yourself, in order to quickly turn your life around at 30 years old, 40 years old, it doesn’t matter how old you are.

1) Stop watching T.V

As Bill Gates once said, “T.V is not real life”. Sometimes I think that people spend more time focused on what’s going on in the fictional world of Television, rather than their own life.

It just doesn’t make sense. Sure it’s a good thing to relax and T.V has that entertainment value to which you can relax to, but when it starts to overtake your own life, that’s worrying. Life is precious. Focus on your own personal stuff that you’ve got going on, and don’t get caught up in the world of Television.

The people you’re looking at on your T.V get paid to act, and they most likely love what they do. You can’t get lost in the world with them because they’re the ones who aren’t wasting any time.


2) Never stop looking for new opportunities

Some people find a job that they’re relatively happy with, apply, go for an interview, get the job and then stop looking for anything better. Once they get themselves a job, they can’t see a reason to keep looking for others. Why would they need to? They have a job now.

But what if there’s a better, more suitable job out there, that you just haven’t spotted yet. One that you’d absolutely love, rather than just mildly enjoy. If you stop looking, you’ll never spot it.

Never stop looking for new opportunities, because that’s how you end up becoming stuck in a rut, that you just can’t get out of. There may not be any more opportunities for you if you forget to look for even a short while.


3) Become an early riser

You should know by now that becoming an early riser is a very powerful way to change your life. Going from waking up at 11am, to waking up at 5:30, is an incredible difference. 5 hours and 30 minutes to be precise. Just think how much more can be achieved in that time.

That’s enough time to start your own business or project on the side, as well as having a full time job. And if you still think it’s not, you must be tripping. There are so many people who have managed to get out of the 9-5 grind by getting up early and working on their own thing before heading to the office to do some work for somebody else.

Even if you don’t want to wake up early for that particular reason, it gives you time to workout, process your thoughts, get things ready for the day, relax a little, you name it.

No, it won’t be easy at first. Which is why I recommend you start by setting that alarm for half an hour earlier, then repeat that gradually over a few weeks, and soon you’ll be waking up earlier without even having to think twice.

4) If you know what you want, go after it

Why is it that sometimes when we see things we want, we don’t go for them? Or we don’t put in as much effort as we could be doing? I’m sure that there’s been a few times where you’ve seen something incredible, an amazing opportunity that you know you want, but you carry on walking as if it was nothing.

I’m talking about a new career, or a new relationship, some sort of unique opportunity that just shouldn’t be passed up. The reason is usually always because we’re scared. We’re scared of putting a lot of time and effort into something that just might not work out.

This is a terrible mistake. If things don’t work out, you accept it, learn from it and move on.

The negative risks involved are perceived by us to be worse than they actually are. And the possible positive outcome that you’re giving up… can you really afford to pass by it and not take a second glance?

5) Challenge yourself mentally

Mental challenges on a daily basis are important if you are to grow as a person, and in your chosen field of expertise. How do you expect your brain to ever adapt if you’re not giving it a big enough challenge that will push it in that direction.

If you have this dream job that you just can’t quite seem to get right now, don’t keep waiting until the next interview. Challenge yourself mentally on a daily basis that’ll allow you to progress your knowledge on the subject and ultimately give you better chances of succeeding with your dreams.


6) Make 5 new connections a day

You know the old saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know”? Well that’s definitely the case in many circumstances, but it doesn’t matter because making new connections is just so easy.


7) Read, watch and follow motivational speakers

I don’t know if you read a lot of books from life coaches, motivational speakers and such, or watch their videos. But you should be doing so. Watching videos on YouTube is not a waste of time if their motivating you and providing you with better understandings of life.

If you’re not sure who you should be following, then check out Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Eric Thomas & Les Brown. That should get you started for now. There are plenty more to come. Watch their videos, read their books, take in their wisdom.

8) Appreciate what you’ve got before it’s gone

Lastly, appreciate what you’ve got on a daily basis, before it’s gone. Change the way you look at things. You may be sitting there, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling like you have nothing to live for, and it’s partially because you’re not realising and being appreciative of what you already have.

Family, a roof over your head, food, water, a freaking internet connection.

Change the way you look at things and be more appreciative of what you have. Don’t take things for granted and you’ll already be feeling happier… because happiness is a choice. You could be living in a bad neighbourhood on a low income, in bad shape and by yourself, but still have a peaceful and happy life.

It doesn’t matter whether you want to turn your life around at 30 years old or 50 years old, just give the above challenges a shot and make a change in your life!

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How to Stop Beating Yourself Up All the Time

“You can’t do this!”

“You just keep making the wrong decisions over and over.”

“Everyone else knows what they’re doing, what’s wrong with you?”

Does this voice sound familiar?

It’s your own — the words you might say in your head when you’re down on yourself. Self-criticism can often be healthy, as it is a sign of self-awareness. It can help you find ways to improve, build stronger relationships and grow.

But when self-criticism gets too harsh, it can be just the opposite. Too much self-criticism won’t lead to self-improvement. Instead, it can slowly wear away at your confidence and peace of mind and make it harder to achieve your personal goals.


Why Do We Beat Ourselves Up?

It is natural to experience doubt and strive to improve — but chronically thinking of yourself as not good enough can really negatively impact your well-being.

You likely wouldn’t appreciate the judgements and critiques of others or when someone is bullying or harassing a friend or loved one, so it’s obvious why self-criticism can be just as harmful.

What’s worse is we are often our own harshest critic. No one knows you better than yourself, so no one knows better than you how to get under your skin.

So what causes us to go from healthy self-criticism to legitimate self-bullying? One explanation is a lack of compassion towards oneself. Consider the negative voice in your head and the things it says to you. Would you direct those words toward other people?
Learning From the Past

This lack of kindness for oneself could be related to past emotional experiences. Children especially are susceptible to holding on to harsh criticism, feeling insecure and un-confident.

To avoid future criticism, we then set standards for ourselves. If these standards are not met, we then beat ourselves up. This can even lead to negative forms of perfectionism.

This mindset leads to a lack of energy or motivation, which makes it even harder to bounce back and think positively. It’s a vicious cycle.


How to Stop Beating Yourself Up


So what steps can you take toward beating back the self-bullying you and embracing a more positive mindset?

Here are a few tips to get you thinking:


1. Self-Awareness and Self-Kindness

The first step is to recognize when you’re putting yourself down. Self-awareness is at the root of all self-criticism, so you must also be aware of when you are treating yourself kindly and when you are self-deprecating.

Once you know you are needlessly beating yourself up, you won’t magically stop. However, you can counteract the negativity by complimenting yourself when you do something well. Acknowledge when you achieve a goal, even a small one.

Consider also the things that make you happy — again, even the small ones — each day. Write them down if it helps you to focus. You may be surprised that even though your day feels like it’s going badly, lots of good things happen throughout.

Do this especially at the end of the day when you’re trying to wind down. You can lose sleep when your mind is stressed with negative thoughts, which will further reduce your energy.

2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People

In times where you are failing, it can be easy to look around at other people who are doing well and compare ourselves to them.

However, you must take a step back and consider you are only seeing one perspective. That other person you see may be excelling in one area — but like you, they deal with a myriad of thoughts, feelings and problems you can’t know.

If you are aware you tend to compare yourself to others, begin to remind yourself you are your own person with your own path. You might be capable of the same successes you see others achieving, and it is possible to work toward them in your own way.

3. Recognize Your Failures as Learning Opportunities

You will fail sometimes. That is inevitable. It can happen in any area of your life. The key is to think of your failures in a more positive light. Any mistake is also an experience you can learn from, and the knowledge you gain will help you down the road:
Perhaps you are criticized by a supervisor for missing a deadline. You can’t change that mistake, but you can do your best on the next assignment.
Maybe you have an awkward social interaction with a colleague. You can’t undo it, but the next time you see them you can make up for it.
Maybe your failure is more severe, like a bad investment or getting scammed out of your money. What’s done is done, but next time you will have the experience and will know to do sufficient research about the business and industry or other opportunity you’re investing in.


Whatever the situation, you will always be learning — which means you will always be improving.


4. Be Patient

You won’t be able to get rid of all your negative thoughts at once. Old habits die hard, and learning to think positively takes time and practice.

Take these steps each day, and over time you may notice improvements in your mindset, your productivity, your motivation and your energy.

Ask others for help as well. Let those close to you know you are struggling and trying to improve yourself, and they will support you. You can even seek the help of a psychiatric professional to help guide your process.


Summary

There is a calm, reasonable you inside of the self-doubting and critical version of yourself.

In time, you can learn to let him or her shine.
Are you beating yourself up too much? Leave a comment below.

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