You Were Not Born to Be Ordinary, So Stand Out and Be EXTRAORDINARY!

Why do we spend so much time and energy out of our precious lives trying to fit the mold that other people try to put us in? We spend so much time trying to fit in when we were born to stand out. It is important to remain yourself and who you were born to be. The world would be so boring and uninteresting if we were all the same type of person doing the same type of thing. That would also hinder our purpose and creativity.

Living a happier and more fulfilled life for me began when I began to "break the rules," and what I mean by "break the rules" is going against the grain of what other people felt like I should be doing, and going with the grain of what I was being divinely led to do. I discovered that I was born to be unique. And by unique I mean creative and phenomenal. Now going against the grain doesn't mean that you never consider the advice of others, but it should be positive advice that is supportive of your uniqueness.

Many times we care too much about what other people are going to think about us, or what other people are going to say about us. So we stay in a "safe place" and never step out to be who we really are. When in reality why does what other people think about us or say about us even matter? Maybe those other people are so critical because they wish they had the courage to step out and allow their uniqueness to shine, but they don't have that courage, so instead they are critical of those who do.

Being true to yourself means that you are in alignment with who you were born to be and what you were called to do. You can create a lot of positive space in your life just by being yourself. And nobody wants to look back 20 years from now and realize that he or she lived their life according to the constraints and guidelines of others. And guess what? Those critical people are not going to have to live with the regret, only you are.

Here is the best way to live your life extraordinary... do what you are being divinely led to do! Even if it makes no sense to others, and it might not make sense to others since it is what you are being divinely led to do and not them. It is often hard for others to identify with things we are inspired to do. And sometimes they don't understand until the results manifest.

You might be surprised at how just going against "what's normal" can contribute to your success. People are drawn to things that are unique and stand out. If you just blend in the same with everyone else in life or in business, how will you stand out and make the impact you were truly born to make?

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Goal Objectives- Looking Ahead To Get Ahead With Planning

With goal objectives in mind, consider the organizers of a marathon race. They take time to mark out the course. The way is planned. Otherwise reaching the finish line would be a matter of chance depending on whether a runner just happened to be in the area to see it!

Likewise reaching goal objectives requires planning.

It's important to identify obstacles and also how to acquire help.

The Steps

Make a list of possible obstacles and yet another list of knowledge, people or organizations that could help you.

Also there is a need for deadlines and the need to make another list of manageable slices or segments leading toward the main goal.

The next step involves using all the information gathered from these two previous steps.

Combine all these lists and put them in a logical order

Lay out the manageable steps in order of progression interweaving the details from your obstacles list and help list.

Get a large sketch pad and play around with the order of things until the plan begins to flow towards your goal objectives.

Acquiring knowledge for example would come before contacting people or organizations.

Once you have educated yourself a little you can ask intelligent questions and get valuable answers and leads.

Without knowledge you don't even know what you need to know to be able to ask!

Make sure your plan is not too rigid!

Otherwise any deviation from the course could spell disaster if the plan is not flexible!

So factor in room for the unexpected when moving towards your goal objectives.

If one deadline is missed it should not jeopardize the rest of the plan.

Have more than one option open at crucial stages.

The flow can then follow a different route and still arrive at the same destination and achieve your goal objectives.

Once this session is completed you now have an action plan.

The course to the finish line for your goal is set. The way is marked out.

Why The Planning Stage Is Crucial

This step is a tremendous confidence booster and it is extremely practical.

Without planning you can drop out of the race early on.

When it comes to your goal objectives, by looking ahead through planning you get ahead and stay ahead!

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12 Powerful Ways to Reduce Your Anxiety

If you’re anything like me you have been there many times.

You’re sitting in a waiting room. Or just waiting somewhere.

Soon it will begin.

Your leg is starting to shake nervously. Your hands are starting to sweat and maybe your mouth feels a bit dry. Your thoughts are becoming jumbled, it is hard to focus and to think as clearly as you usually do.

Maybe you have an important test in school. A job interview. An appointment with your doctor or dentist. A date that you are looking forward to but at the same time you are scared to make a fool of yourself on.

Whatever it may be it is making you anxious.

Today I’d like to share 12 things that have helped me to reduce anxiety in such situations.

These tips are for low or medium levels of anxiety. They are not intended for anxiety attacks or anything that serious. I know nothing about such things and would recommend that you seek professional help in such situations.


1. Breathe.

Sit down, in a quiet place if possible. Breathe a little deeper than usual and do it with your belly and not with your chest. For just a minute or two focus on only the air going in and out of your nostrils. Nothing else.

This will calm your mind and body down. And it will bring your attention back to the present moment instead of it being lost in scary, future scenarios or bad memories from the past.

2. Get good knowledge.

Dispel the clouds of uncertainty and vague fears by researching what you have anxiety about. By talking to people who have done what you are about to do or want to do – or by reading what they have written – you can build a more realistic blueprint with both positives and negatives of how things are likely to go.

And learn how to improve in the area that gives you anxiety. Do research on the best ways to become better at and less nervous when – for instance – doing public speaking, job interviews or presentations at work or in school.

3. Do a quick workout.

I like to lift heavy weights for about 15-20 minutes when I feel worried, stressed or anxious. It makes me feel stronger both in mind and body. It releases inner tensions and relaxes me.

Others go out for a quick run, walk or bike ride when they feel anxious. Find a way to exercise that fits you and lets you reap these benefits and counteract anxiety.

4. Focus on something else.

Sometimes it is more helpful to simply redirect your mind instead of thinking about what creates your current anxiety. Especially if you have no control over the situation that causes the anxiety like for example an upcoming doctor’s visit or appointment with the dentist.

So focus your attention somewhere else for a while and recharge it with something positive.

Watch a couple of episodes of your favorite sit-com or TV-series. Read your favorite online forum. Have relaxing or upbeat night out with friends.

Do something that takes your mind off the situation that causes anxiety, even if it is just for a few hours. After that recharge you will not only likely feel better but you will also be in a better headspace and at a higher energy level to handle the anxious situation.

5. Don’t forget to eat.

When I forget to eat because I am stressed and anxious then that only tends to worsen my state of mind. It becomes harder to think clearly and negative scenarios more easily pop up in my mind.

So even if you do not feel that hungry keep an eye on the time and if you may be running low on fuel.


6. Change your focus to what you can do right now.

When you ask yourself questions that make you feel powerless or like things will only get worse and worse then you take away your personal power.

Empower yourself by instead asking yourself:

What is one small thing I can do to improve upon this situation today?

Write down that question and brainstorm answers for a few minutes. Then take action on one of the answers you find. It doesn’t have to be a big action, just one small step forward. And when you are done with it then take another one.

This direction forward will make you feel like you are starting to regain control over your life again, it will make you feel at least a bit more confident and it, in my experience, tends to reduce the anxiety.


7. Question your worries and anxiety.

Look to your own past and ask yourself:

How many situations that I have been anxious about in the past have turned out to be exaggerations or making a mountain out of a molehill in my mind?

Question your anxiety and worries instead of letting them roam freely.

8. Remember: You have handled tough situations in the past.

When you are standing in the middle of anxiety and fear bubbling up within then it is easy to get dragged down with it. To lose faith in yourself and your abilities.

When that happens focus on your breathing first to calm and clear your mind. Then look to the past for a bit of strength and confidence in what you can do.

Doing this helps me to go from feeling powerless to feeling like I am standing on firmer ground again.

9. Let the feeling in to let it go.

Sometimes an anxious feeling can feel sticky and vague. You don’t know exactly where it is coming from or what is causing it. It can be hard to get rid of.

A bit of an odd solution that has worked well for me in such situations is this:

When you feel a negative feeling then allow and accept that feeling. Don’t try to keep it out. Don’t try to fight it. Even though many of us have learned to do those two things to negative feelings throughout life.

Instead, this time, just let it in and observe the feeling in your mind and body without judging it.

If you let it in and just observe it for a couple of minutes something wonderful happens. First it may feel uncomfortable and more intense. But then the feeling loses power. It weakens. Often to the point that it just vanishes.

Because when you accept the feeling and let it in you stop feeding it with more energy (as you would when you tried your hardest to keep it out or to fight it).

10. Let it out into the light.

When you keep something inside of you then your head can become an echo chamber that magnifies and doubles the anxiety and fear in a situation.

So let it out instead. Talk to someone close to you about the situation at hand. Just venting to someone who will listen can help you to get a more grounded view on what’s happening.

Or the two of you can discuss it and help you to reclaim your power by making a small, intial plan for how you can reduce the anxiety about this situation by taking some kind of action.

11. Stay in the present moment.

Anxiety is often a fear of something you think will happen in future.

One way to reduce that anxiety is to simply stay with your attention in the present moment as much as you can. Perhaps you make a small plan in advance to help you out but you choose to deal with the anxiety-creating situation when it will happen. Instead of spending hours each day with imagining and fearing the future and creating monsters in your mind.

The breathing technique at the start of this article is one of the best techniques I have found for returning to the present moment when you get lost in the future. Another one of my favorites you can try is this one:

Take 1-2 minutes and focus only on what’s right in front of you.

Or around you and on you. Look at what’s right in front of you. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes. Feel the warmth of the spring sun on your skin.

12. Remember: There is a brand new day tomorrow.

This reminder helps me when today or the last week may not have gone so well.

Because there will be a brand new day tomorrow. A day when you can begin again.

A day when you can take a new step to move towards what you want, likely having a bit more luck and when it will be easier to see that this difficult time is only temporary and not permanent (even if it might feel that way right now and create anxiety about the future).

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3 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Get Started with What You Truly Want to Do

“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
George Eliot

Getting started with doing what you truly want to do in life can be hard.

No matter if what you want is to start exercising, create your own business on the side, write a book, improve your relationship with yourself, see other parts of the world or something entirely else.

But often we make getting started a lot harder than it needs to be by standing in our own way.

So in today’s article I’d like to share 3 things you need to stop doing to step out of your own way and make it so much easier to actually get started instead of just keep dreaming about it.

1. Stop making it a huge and vague thing in your mind.

The more you think about whatever you want to get started with the bigger it tends to become in your head. And as you keep thinking about the various ways this could go it tends to become scarier and scarier.

So do this instead:
Get knowledge from the others who have been where you want to go. To defuse vague fears about what could happen if you got started and about the unclear unknown, get information from people who have already gone where you want to go.
It is easier than ever to find them today. Look them up online and read what they have written and said or send them an email. Or go ask someone you know in real life that has done what you want to do.
Ask yourself: Honestly, what is realistically the worst that could happen? Take a couple of deep breaths to calm down your mind a bit. Then ask yourself this question.
You’ll realize that in most cases the worst thing that could realistically happen is not that bad. It may sting for a bit. But it is something you can handle. And it is a situation you can find something to do about if this worst case scenario were to happen. The clarity you get from this question can – in my experience – reduce fears quite a bit.

2. Stop trying to control everything.

Being prepared and knowing some things certainly helps.

But it can become a trap when you try to control it all or think things through 50 times to be on the safe side and to not risk making mistakes, fail or look like a fool.

What to do instead:
Realize: you will stumble and that is OK. It happens to anyone who steps outside of his or her comfort zone. It has happened to everyone you may admire and who have lived a life that is inspiring.
It is simply a part of a life well lived. And if you reflect on what you can learn from a mistake then that will be invaluable to help you grow and improve.
Learn to set time-limits for small decisions at first. If you have trouble with overthinking then set a time-limit for when you have to make a decision. This might seem a bit scary though.
So start small and set a 30-60 second time-limit when trying to decide if you are going to work out or reply to an email. Do that for a while and then move on to slightly bigger decisions. And then even bigger ones after that.

3. Stop thinking that you have to get started in a big and spectacular way.

If you have a big goal or dream or even a medium sized one then it is easy to think that you have to take an action of the same size to get started or to get where you want to go.

That is most often not true though.

What to do instead:
Go small. Just ask yourself: what is one small step I can take today to get the ball rolling with my goal/dream? Then take just that small action. And tomorrow or later on today you can do the same thing again. If that question still lands you in procrastination then ask yourself: What is one tiny step I can take to get the ball rolling?
Single-task each little step. Focus on just the one step you are taking. Nothing else. Otherwise it is easy to get lost in thought, to go off track or to feel uncomfortable or fearful. So keep your attention on just this one action and step forward.
And after that, the next one. Let these actions build day after day into something bigger. And before you know it you’ll have gone quite a distance on your journey.

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7 Tiny Things You Can Do To Feel Confident In Any Situation

Feeling a little jittery about an upcoming appointment or interview? Nerves can get the better of even the best among us, and therefore having a simple and effective strategy to find your way around them can be very helpful. Here are 7 simple and tiny things you can do to feel more confident in a situation.

Take a Moment before Stepping In

Before stepping into a meeting, interview or even a social gathering, right at the door take a brief pause to collect yourself and your thoughts, reaffirm your poise and gracefully move forth into the experience before you. Realigning yourself helps make sure you are more integrated and focused to meet whatever it is that lies ahead of you, no matter how expected or unexpected.

Establish Eye Contact

Body language doesn't just give hints to the confidence levels of a person, but can actually be used to reaffirm these as well. Establishing eye contact is a pivotal aspect of being self-assured and confident. Make sure to meet everyone with a bright, confident and composed look, and to maintain the eye contact through your engagement.

Smile with Your Heart

A wonderful and beaming smile can help you find your way into the heart and favors of practically anyone you meet- whether in a work situation or otherwise. But not any smile will do; only a genuine smile helps you appear calm, confident and appealing. So smile with your heart, and smile wide.

Breathe Deeply

Shallow breath usually accompanies the most panicky and challenging situations. Therefore if you are not breathing right- that is deep into your torso- then your body is bound to stay a little on edge, if not in panic. To appear more confident, relax your body and consequently your body by breathing properly.

Uncross Your Arms

Crossed arms are a clear defensive stance; but they don't just put off the other person, they also hold you back from the situation or challenge at hand. Uncross your arms and really open up to your experience and you will not only look more confident, but feel more confident as well.

Appreciate Your Self

A lot of our doubts anchor in our own self- criticism, slowly eroding away our self-esteem, confidence and belief. To perk your confidence levels up, take some time to appreciate your self- not just for the successes and results you may have enjoyed, but also for the efforts and passion you pour into your every day.

Don't Lose Perspective

It is easy to get carried away by the momentum of a moment, and to forget the bigger picture. Just how much someone else's opinion matters in the long run, or just how crucial a meeting is to the bigger picture can go a long way to making you feel more relaxed and therefore focused. Remember no matter how big it might seem today, there is always greater to accomplish and more to enjoy.

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Top Ways to Remain Positive in Life

Top Ways to Remain Positive in Life

Use your free time for constructive purposes

Today, our lifestyle is quite different from the way we used to live decades or centuries ago. The advent of electricity and scientific gadgets has made our day-to-day living a lot easier and comfortable. During yester-years people used to indulge for long hours for arranging necessary items and doing petty household chores viz. arranging for firewood, grinding, churning, sewing etc. Traveling used to take days or weeks at a stretch. Today, we have technology everywhere, and we can do most of the household chores and connect with others within minutes. All this has given us plenty of free time, and you would agree that when one gets free time, it can be constructive as well as sabotaging. Don't let the toxins of modern-day living overpower you during your free time. Use it for something useful, something productive.

Inculcating a hobby is a good idea

Don't let negativity to scabbard your free time. A hobby keeps you involved and busy and prevents negativity to come around you. Hobby can be anything, it can be nurturing bonsai plants, gardening, painting, writing, cooking, making artifacts etc. What's important is that you should like doing it. Inculcate a hobby of your interest and attend to it whenever you get some free time. Investing time towards your hobby is a kind of self-help that will keep you engrossed and make you happier from inside.

Look forward in life

Another way to remain positive is to look forward in life. Don't keep messing with the things of the past. However, it is important to learn from your past experiences and try not to repeat your mistakes again. But, don't waste your time repenting on issues that can't be reverted. You can't revert back time, you can't revert what has gone past, but you can certainly take steps to make your future better. Look forward in life, gather courage, keep hope and move forward.

Make high ideals

Make successful people your ideals. To be successful in life and make progress, it is important to maintain high ideals in life. If you read the success stories of the people who are most successful in their respective fields, you'll find that there isn't anyone who has not faced any sort of hardship to reach the spot they are in today. Making successful people your icons and having cheerful and positive persons in your acquaintances and relationships will keep you inspired and prepared to do much better in life.

Frame a routine

Framing an appropriate routine is important towards healthy living. There can be circumstances when you would be compelled to bypass certain parts of your daily regimen. But, try to stick to a healthy lifestyle that includes proper exercise, proper diet, proper work and proper rest.

To be healthy, it's important to keep your mindset healthy. Frame a goal in life, take steps and act accordingly to achieve your objective. You may face hardships, but it's important not to lose hope and keep trying to do better.



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How to Be a People Person When You Aren’t

Not everyone is born a “people person”. Me included. I tend to shy away from the spotlight when there are many people around. However, I love people and am attracted to them. I find their stories fascinating and continuously learning from them to better myself.

This explains why I love interviewing inspiring people and reading biographies and memories. The deeper I know someone, either in person or virtually, the more I admire them.

In my world, everyone is a teacher. We can learn from their successes and their failures. Acknowledging them is the first path to be a “people person” in the fullest meaning of the term.

It’s common knowledge that individuals who are good with other people would enjoy privileges in connecting with, relating to, and leading others. These traits are essential for success. Both extroverts and introverts can learn these skills.

Introverts regain their energy with alone time, while extroverts gain their strength from being out there with many people. Both types are necessary for society and for human evolution. However, many people misunderstood the quieter introverts for being “weak,” while the louder extroverts are mistaken for being “strong.”

The truth is, introverts tend to think first before speaking, while extroverts do the other way around. These traits can be learned as well. For instance, introverts can learn to speak without any pause from thinking too much. Extroverts can learn to think first for one or two seconds prior to expressing verbally.

I’m an introvert and will always be. This means I think before I speak and I find alone time recharging and relaxing. I prefer not to be involved in loud group activities, but favor more quite group activities and one-on-one sessions. I genuinely love people but prefer having a small group of like-minded people with deep relationships instead of hanging out with a large group of people whom I barely know.

Susan Cain in her 2013 best-selling book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” says that there is nothing wrong being an introvert, for the primary difference between an introvert and an extrovert is their source of energy.

Realizing the need to better my skills around people, I learned the importance of the following elements when communicating. It takes time to master them and I often fall back to my own quiet way.

Just remember to keep reframing your thoughts and words whenever you’re communicating with people before retrieving into your private world. Here are 5 tips you can use to become more charismatic.

HOW TO BE A PEOPLE PERSON WHEN YOU AREN’T

FIRST, PRACTICE THE GOLDEN RULE.

To relate with others better, place yourself in the other person’s shoes. Open your heart up. Treat people like how you want to be treated. It may sound cliche, but it’s the most important principle of communication. When you invest in something good, it will return to you. When you appreciate people, they will appreciate you back.

When people don’t behave well and are negative, if we keep our positive attitude, most likely they’d change and follow our lead. For instance, if you want others to encourage you, you can start by encouraging them. This kind of positivity brings people closer and, together, you can bring the best in each other.

SECOND, HOLD NO GRUDGES AND FORGIVE RIGHT AWAY.

Forgiving others right away is a sign of strength. It’s both liberating your mind and maintaining peace at heart. For thinking introverts, who tend to ruminate a lot, grudges would create an endless cycle that doesn’t stop.

The more you think of something that’s “not right” in your eyes, the more you’d ruminate, thus the more unforgiving you are and deeper the grudge would become. Stop the vicious cycle by forgiving and letting go.

THIRD, REMOVE YOUR “EGO” TO BE SEEN “INTELLIGENT.”

Let communication flow and create a positive and friendly atmosphere. For a nerdy introvert like me, it takes time to warm up as I tend to talk about “big ideas” rather than personal activities.

You can start talking about whatever it is available in front of you at that time, such as what a fine dinner it is and how good the weather is. Start with something both of you find interesting, instead of talking about the Congress, the latest stock price for APPL, or the recent debate on Universal Basic Income.

FOURTH, SHOW INTEREST BY REALLY LISTENING TO OTHER’S STORIES.

Listen to what people are saying by showing the proof of it. Ask questions based on what they have just talked about. Make positive comments with some facial expression.

Don’t wait for your turn to talk by nodding without really listening. The more you practice this proactive listening, the better you become at understanding others. And you’ll open your heart more.

FIFTH, USE “WE” INSTEAD OF I WHENEVER POSSIBLE.

Use “we” more often than “I” and frame your message to include “we” than merely “I.” Remember that an ideal communication is a win-win, meaning both parties gain something meaningful. Small simple things, like attentive listening, appreciating their time, and reciprocity would reinforce the “we” factor.

Introverts can communicate well with others and some are even famous for it. For example, Dianne Sawyer, Julia Roberts, Abraham Lincoln, Emma Watson, Christina Aguilera, George Stephanopoulos, and Bill Gates are all introverts. We love them for who they are and we can attest that they are “people persons.”

I’ve been practicing this more open communication style with these five elements, which are both engaging and positive, for years. And I’m still learning how to make people like me more for who I am than what I know about the world. Everything takes time.

Three more tips:

One, if you’re super shy when dealing with others, imagine that you’re talking to only one person whom you truly trust, like your partner or your best friend. Trick your mind to believe it.

Two, if you become nervous, look at the wall behind the forehead of person you’re talking to. Look at the spot in between their eyes. You’re still looking at them, but slightly indirectly.

Three, be aware of your body language. Have an open body language, not squeamish or closed. Study reveals that open body language also tricks our mind to think that we’re confident and positive, as if everything goes in our favor.

At last, be brave and watch yourself grow on daily basis. Communicating the way “people person” does takes time and practice for introverts. Eventually, you’ll have the so-called “charisma” to open more doors and more opportunities.

Just take the first step.

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