10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I’m a yoga teacher, I still find it’s easy to fall prey to negative thinking. Having negative thoughts play out like a movie can only bring you pain, something that I’ve experienced many times throughout my life.

Negative thoughts drain you of energy and keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give in to your negative thoughts, the stronger they become. I like the imagery of a small ball rolling along the ground, and as it rolls, it becomes bigger and faster.

That’s what one small negative thought can turn into: a huge, speeding ball of ugliness. On the contrary, a small positive thought can have the same effect blossoming into a beautiful outcome.

I’d like to share with you an example of how one small thought can turn into a very negative experience.

I have lived on my own for the last ten years. Obviously, during this time I’ve grown accustomed to living in a particular way; I have my routines with cooking, cleaning, and living happily in my place.

My boyfriend of two years, who I have had a long distance relationship with, will soon be moving here and we will be living together. Lately I’ve had negative thoughts of moving in with him knowing that my living routine will have to change and we will have to create a new routine together.

Unfortunately, I’ve already jumped into the future and have had thoughts that we will not be able to come up with a living arrangement that will make us both happy. In my mind I have seen myself already getting angry about our cooking and cleaning situation.

He came for a surprise visit this past weekend, and boy, was it a surprise for him. We had a miserable weekend together.

I did not enjoy his company because I was already angry with him, and he was confused and equally frustrated with me. What could have been a really fabulous weekend ended up being a painful and heavy weekend.

When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.”

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuck. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

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3 Powerful Tips to Help You Have Your Best Year Ever

Here are 3 powerful steps you can take to free yourself from frustration and to start enjoying the good life so many are enjoying right now:

1) Know "where you are." Have you ever been lost in a residential area and no one was around to ask for directions? Now if you are somewhat familiar with the area, it's easy to just turn around here and there and find your way back. But the worst part about being lost is when we are lost and we haven't a clue where we are.

So, where exactly are you on your journey now? Do you know exactly how much money you owe? And how many assets you have? What are your strengths? And what are your weaknesses? Here's a good exercise to help you know "where you are":

Draw a map of your life and make every square a city. Name each square with an aspect of your life. One city can be your family, friends, knowledge of your field, spirituality, work, charity, financial, etc. Then rate each city from one to ten. Ten means you are doing extremely well, and one means it needs immediate help.

What I just shared with you is like having a balance sheet for your life. Put all your weaknesses on one side and your strengths on the other side. Put your strengths to work and strengthen your weaknesses. You can read more books, go back to school or find a mentor. Perhaps you can learn 50 to 100 power words this year in order to get a verbal advantage. Whatever you do, keep in mind that a better year begins with a better you. The readers of No Condition is Permanent know about this.

2) Do an inventory of friends. That's right. Make a list of who your friends are, and how they relate to the direction your life is going in. When companies want to increase their revenue, they get rid of unnecessary employees or ones that are holding them back. So when you are ready to increase your worth, you need to get rid of unnecessary friends. I am talking about those that only cause you grief and are a pain in the "you know what."

If you want to accomplish great things, you need to surround yourself with great people or people who have accomplished great things. You might say, "well, how do I find these great achievers you are talking about?" If you own a copy of No Condition is Permanent, refer to it for the answer.

You and I know fully well that some so-called friends are not worth the aggravation. They are draining, and they sap the life out of you. Consider this: Small people are always talking about things, but great people talk about ideas and concepts. Do you find yourself mentally stimulated when you are with your friends? If you are not, then you should be.

3) Quit killing time. Have you ever heard people say, "I'm just killing time." If they only realized how precious time really is. I have a wealthy friend who once told me that he can make millions of dollars any time he wants. He can purchase more homes, cars, and other luxuries. But the only thing he can never buy himself is more time.

His point is that he values his time more than his money. Wow! People who have little regard for time always find themselves engaging in activities that have nothing to do with improving their lives or that of those around them. They are routine people. They just do the same old things; they are just going through the daily motions. They love to shoot the breeze and just chill.

Listen, you are entering a new year, and you are not getting any younger. You may have lost so many opportunities. As a reader of my newsletter, you are important to me. I can't stand by and watch you squander your time and procrastinate. That's why I am encouraging you to find out "where you are" and start taking action to change your life. Take my advice. Inventory your friends and stop killing time.

I wish you all the best in this year!

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7 Keys to Unlock Your Potential - Now!

The difference between who you currently are and who you want to be in life comes down, at least initially, to your mindset in life.

Initially, this mindset is what kick starts you in the morning and all during the day.

You eventually become what you think you are!

The internal conversations that you are continuously having with yourself every moment of every day will become the driving force on who you actually end up becoming in life.

It is the driving factor behind every success and failure in life.

Below are 7 magical mystical keys that will help unlock your potential and guide you on the path to where you want to be.

1. Goal Setting

Don't settle for anything less than the best outcome here. Set your goals HIGH and don't stop until you reach them. Knowing what the final outcome is will motivate you and also allow you to track how far you've come.

2. Self Trust.

Being successful, no matter how you define success, is having the belief in yourself and your capabilities. Success is created by YOU. Expel the negative thoughts and voices regardless of the current situation. You alone can determine your worth and value. Believe, believe and Believe!

3. Patience

Sometimes moving forwards on something actually takes patience. This should not be taken as being the same as standing still. Standing still and procrastination will not get you any further along the road than where you currently stand.

4. Focus.

This is one of the hard ones. It's actually very easy to be focused when you first begin something new. Keeping that razor sharp focus takes discipline.

Discipline and focus are the middle layers to get you from where you currently stand to where you want to be.

5. Courage!

Another tough one. Fear has a nasty habit of showing its ugly face when you least expect it. Remember though, courage is not the absence of fear but rather acknowledgement of that fear and moving on regardless.

6. Positive!

I've written quite a few articles in the past regarding a positive mental outlook on life.

Set your mind to positive and expel the negativity from your life.

Remember the reasons that you want to do this and ensure that you keep these in mind. Print out a mood board, goal board or whatever other inspiration you require and look at it as many times as possible.

That's your goal - YOUR LIFE.

7. Learn and Adjust.

Not everything in your life will go as planned. Don't treat failure as anything other than another learning curve. Don't make that same mistake again and you will grow.

I hope these 7 points have at least a small impact on your life - in truth, I hope that they help you achieve everything that you actually want out of life.

It's YOUR life - LIVE IT!

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Tired of Never Being “Good Enough?” 4 Ways to Kill your Inner Critic

Does that voice in your head ever make you feel like you’re not good enough?

I’ve been there and it sucks. When I launched a startup I used to constantly feel impatient, frustrated and inadequate because I wasn’t achieving “massive success.” I fooled myself into thinking that I would only be good enough once I reached some “successful” milestone in the future. This perspective only increased the feelings of impatience and frustration and it turned into a vicious cycle of negative thinking.

Don’t make the same mistake.

Do you really want to spend your short life worrying about when you will be good enough rather than being comfortable with yourself now?

Today I want to share 4 powerful mental habits that you can use to break away from this negative cycle and that I learned the hard way.

Habit #1: Have Self-Compassion

Shame is a dangerous emotion. It can easily become a part of your identity if you’re not careful. When you identify yourself with tiny mistakes or over-analyse situations that make yourself feel guilty, it can easily lead to shame.

When things weren’t going as planned in my business, I used to think that it was because I wasn’t good enough. Although I knew to analyse the different factors of the business to realise where things were going wrong, I always pointed the finger at myself first!

If I could have done it all over again, I would’ve given myself way more compassion.


How to Practice Self-Compassion

Having self-compassion is important because it gives you permission to fail. Making “failure” acceptable will give you the confidence to take risks and try new things.

If you’ve been thinking about an experience you’ve been wanting to try, go into it giving yourself permission to fail and being compassionate with yourself if you do. This will remove the importance of the outcomes and will help you enjoy the actual experience.

A great tactic to make sure you’re practising self-compassion is to role-play with yourself. Pretend that the issue you’re berating yourself about is actually an issue that a friend has.

How would you advise that friend? Would you call them a loser and make them feel low or would you encourage them to give themselves a second chance?

When you begin getting down on yourself or you hear that negative self-talk trigger, think about yourself and treat yourself as a friend. Give yourself the much needed compassion and support to simply do better next time.


Habit #2: Be grateful for what you’ve got

Like the famous Sheryl Crow line goes: “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

When you’re focused on what you don’t have or what you’re not achieving, you discount your past success.

If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’ll be good enough once you reach a certain career milestone or have a certain amount of money in your bank account, you will fail to enjoy the path that you’re currently on. You’re essentially “living in the future.”

Being grateful for your current situation, no matter what state it is in will make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Beyond that, gratitude has also been reported to strengthen immune systems, lower blood pressure, and increase levels of positive emotions in people.

It may sound cheesy, but I like to start my day with a short meditation focusing on gratitude. The reason that I’ve made this meditation a habit is because it achieves two important things: having gratitude and presence.
Easy 3-Step Meditative Practice:
Gratitude for the people in my life– this keeps me grounded and reminds me of all the supportive people in my life
Gratitude for the small stuff– I then like to think about minor things that make me happy or that I take for granted. Things like the birds chirping outside my window, running water, food and shelter, even silly things like my favourite TV shows!
Gratitude for the big stuff– I also like to think about the endless opportunities in life that I have access to, like hobbies I’m passionate about, volunteer activities and other cool things I can live and learn from! Other things I may take for granted such as freedom and health are important things to be grateful for every single day.

You can use this same practice and tweak it to your own life. It will help focus your mind on the what you should be grateful for and it will bring you back into the now!

Habit #3: Focus on Small Wins

Setting goals is a great way to focus your mind and energy towards achievement to kill that inner self-doubt. Studies have also shown that setting goals can increase intrinsic motivation.

A hack that I like to use to build confidence is setting up small wins. You can do this by setting smaller, specific, achievable goals. Tracking a series of small wins can lead you to a long-term goal systematically. It also propels success by feeding off of the momentum of each small win, making you feel excited and motivated at every win.
Here’s an example:

I always wanted to start my own blog but it always felt really daunting. To get started, I made a small goal of getting at least 20 subscribers within one month.

Knowing that I was working towards a very specific goal made starting a blog more real, it gave me a reason to launch it and work on it consistently. Although the goal seemed small, I remember how ecstatic I was when I achieved it. It got me motivated to continue writing and I proved to myself that I could do it!

When you are setting goals to help you achieve small wins remember to be specific, have a deadline, make them achievable and track them. When you achieve those small wins be sure to celebrate them with gusto!

Habit #4: Visualisation

Visualisation is not mumbo jumbo. Top athletes and entrepreneurs use visualisation to help prime their brains for success. The reason why it works is because you’re activating a series of connected nuclei in your brain called the “reticular activating system.”

In short, the RAS controls your belief system and links the unconscious and conscious parts of your brain. It helps filter out the tons of information you are exposed to, narrowing your brain’s focus only on the information that is deemed important by you.

For example, have you ever been at a busy airport but still hear your name through the intercom or someone shouting for you? That’s because your RAS has been primed to pay special attention to something important, your first name. It then turns all the other noise around you into “background noise.”

Visualising helps prime your brain for success by cuing the RAS to focus on things that matter to you.
How to Visualise

A handy visualisation exercise I like to use is imagining my “ideal future.” I like to vividly imagine a variety of things like what I’ll be doing, with whom, in what location and even imagine the way I’ll internally feel.

By doing this exercise, my brain is now focused on the things I can be doing to achieve this “ideal future.” I’d love to work from anywhere in the world, so I imagine myself blogging away on a white-sand beach. Since my brain has been primed with that vision, I’ve become hyper-aware of experiences and stories that I can channel into blog posts because I’ve trained my brain to focus on achieving that ideal goal!

The interesting thing about visualisation is that it can be as powerful as actually doing what you’re thinking. In a fascinating study, piano players were divided in two groups. One group was told to physically practice, while the other was told to “mentally” practice by sitting in front of the piano and visualise playing it.

The takeaway was that in both groups there were identical physical changes in the brain and after three days their piano playing accuracy was exactly the same, regardless of how they practice.

Start visualising the future you want so your brain can help you focus on the things that will get you there!


Conclusion

Being able to control that voice in your head can make a huge difference in your life. That voice has the power to hold you back from success, from living life to your fullest and so much more! By practising the mental habits of self-compassion, gratitude, focusing on goals and visualisation you can get over your self-doubt and negative self-talk.

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