4 Tips To Improve And Boost Your Self-Confidence

Many people today believe that having self-confidence has something to do with ones accomplishments or societal status. Others think it has something to do with having a certain kind of body, the way one looks or even how popular they are with friends and society in general. The idea of self confidence is perhaps one that women need a lot of clarity on because often times we see promotions on what new thing to get, which make-up to use and which "fix you up" products that are all supposed to magically give you an increased sense of self-worth and greater confidence. But does any of this really work?

Personally I know it doesn't work at all for I started off trying to get rid of my insecurities, self-loathing and criticism by buying all the best things I could find to enhance my beauty and confidence.

What experience has shown me, which numerous researches conducted can now confirm is that nothing can increase your self-esteem and self- confidence. Your happiness, fulfillment and overall well-being is very much limited or expanded by your level of confidence and self-esteem. No external thing therefore can truly bring you joy and fulfillment or that sense of deserving except a belief in your own value, which is always determined by your level of inner confidence, and belief in your own Self.

In our modern and rapidly developing society where material possessions are considered a standard measure of value, more and more people are secretly battling with this idea and try to mask whatever emotions they might have by working harder than ever to get more stuff, bigger accolades and more social recognition in the hopes that this will in some way fill the inner void that continues to brew.

This is the worst way to build your success or your self-esteem because none of the outer possessions no matter how good will ever satisfy you or even last very long. They aren't meant to add or complete you where you feel a lack, when we use them for such, we welcome all the evils that divine teachings have warned us against.

What is self-confidence and where does it come from?

Confidence is defined as the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on something or someone. Self-confidence then is the feeling or belief that you can have faith in and rely on your Self.

It all comes from the Self and the error we have made far too many times is in making our capacity, abilities and sense of worth dependent on something other than self. Which brings me to the first point I wish to drive home, the self is the real, infinite and eternal you. But that self-experiencing your current life is under a certain belief, idea, concept about who and what it is. This idea is called self-image. It is the image of self that your mind has believed and defined as you. If this image is healthy and built or a right foundation then you have a great thriving lifestyle because your confidence is booming which means you're deliberately designing and generating the kind of conditions rolling out in your life. However if for one reason or another you didn't form a healthy and true image of self, then real confidence and belief in yourself is something you struggle with which naturally reflects on the quality of life you get to experience on a daily basis.

For the most part, we see all the erred views on self-confidence and self-esteem stemming out of this false paradigm and approach to the self, which causes people to look to the external rather than to the self for a strong, confident and a high sense of value and worth as human individuals simply from just "being" instead of doing or having a particular thing.

The difference between a person who's got a good healthy self-confidence and one who doesn't isn't about how they physically look, what they have or the kind of accomplishments they've made. It's a deeper more profound knowledge and understanding as well as complete appreciation and embracing of all that they are. One of the question's I get asked the most is: What can I do to increase my level of confidence? Here are a few ways:

1. Disentangle your real Self from your conceptions of self

The great endeavour we all need to frequently do as we often get lazy and get pulled back into mass kind of thinking is to disentangle the real Self from the beliefs attached to the self. The "I" in you is the real Self and is not the idea of you that you've formed throughout your lifetime. Your real Self is independent of all the conditions, labels and attachments you developed while on earth. It is this self that gives you life and makes it possible for you to even read this now.

This same self is the one you must learn to believe in, have faith and rely on implicitly. But since many people have no idea how to access or live from this self, the outside alternatives have continued to be promoted because humanity has long gotten used to the idea of looking for power outside in the world of effects. We find it difficult to trust in what is beyond our intellect and yet we can feel that all things tangible are limited. You self-confidence will increase greatly when you learn to tap into your real Self and live from that authentic and infinitely powerful aspect of your existence.

2. Learn the truth about perfection and imperfection

Mankind has gotten so used to the idea of being imperfect. It's drilled in almost all schools of life and the idea of perfection has been given such a bad humanistic and almost vain taste that stating it here I know will arouse the criticism of the uninitiated minds. But the truth always stands and it is that you are perfect! You were born perfect and that's why you innately feel as though you need to express it.

Because you are spiritually perfect, there is no need to ever believe that something needs to be added or fixed. No need to ever believe that you need to seek it because being already perfect, the process of human living is the progressive unfolding and evolving of that inherent perfection. Start viewing yourself as such and life will show you just how perfect you can be as long as you continue progressively moving forward with ease and confidence in who you really are.

3. Discover the biggest war zone in the world and heal it

This is a big one for most people everywhere. Do you know that one of the biggest and hardest habits to break for the human being is that of self-judgment? Neuroscience found this to be one of the most detrimental habits most people indulge in almost unconsciously.

Within your mind is an ever on-going conversation about everything you are experiencing and especially about yourself. This conversation needs to be guarded and reshaped to reflect the kind of lifestyle you wish to manifest before you can hope to have it as your reality. If that conversation is only fault-finding, blaming, arguing and criticizing it will be very difficult for you to ever feel good enough or worthy of a good life. People spend so much time worried about the outside world while if only they could go quiet and listen in, they would soon discover a similar war going on internally.

4. Learn to embrace

Embrace all of you. Not just the good parts but all of you... Ambiguity is natural to you because you exist as Body - Mind - Spirit. When you discover the kind of image you have attached to your "I", it's probable you'll even feel ashamed that you attached such a disgraceful belief to yourself and let it define who you are. We all experience that - but what you need to know is that it doesn't really matter anymore as long as you're now awake and ready to take action and create an image that truly reflects the kind of person you want to be. Hiding, feeling ashamed or guilty over the things you discover from your old beliefs and mindset does nothing except harm you and keep you stuck.

Don't forget these are just a few tips on a very deep topic that every individual needs to work on intimately because it makes all the difference in the quality of life. I have a lot more on this topic and you can have more access in greater details of ways to help you recreate your self-image.

Above all else, understand that changing yours self-image and improving your confidence requires time and consistent practice because it's a major factor in mastery of self. As with all things, the mastery requires certain consistent effort and practice to be invested before the great harvest can be enjoyed. But every step along the way will already move you closer to your ultimate goal and small manifestations that help you track your progress will always be noted so keep working at it, start with these simple ideas and trust that you are all it takes to be this new you that you want to bring into physical reality.

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Pessimist To Optimist - How To Change Your Point of View

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

• Winston S. Churchill

An optimist has a tendency to make lemonade out of lemons, and to then see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. It's an admirable quality, one that can positively affect mental and physical health

Studies show that optimists live longer, achieve more, and enjoy greater happiness and health.

Psychologists believe that about 50% of your optimism quotient is determined at birth. That leaves the remaining 50% that you can work on. Train yourself to become more hopeful. You can complete most of these steps instantly, and a few require a little more time.

Tips for Becoming More Optimistic

Wear a smile

I remember a line from a movie - be optimistic... don't u be a grumpy... when the road gets bumpy, just smile, smile, SMILE, and be happy!

hence go ahead and put on a bright cheerful smile - as your facial muscles communicate with your brain it will shift the energy enough to create new perspectives and new possibilities. Not only will the world look a better place, a smile will also improve your face value

Create a distraction

When you find yourself dwelling on the size of your thighs or how slowly traffic is moving, switch your attention to something more entertaining. Sing show tunes or remember romantic moments with your spouse.

Friends

Hang Out With Optimistic People. Use The positive attitude of the people around you can be a powerful force for good.

socialize with cheery friends and bounce ideas off your more positive colleagues. Your optimistic friends and coworkers are your best sounding board and will certainly change your ½ glass empty perspective.

Count your blessings

Gratitude reinforces optimism. Wake up each morning thinking about what you're thankful for. Write a gratitude list and post it near your desk where you can see it all day. As you focus more on what you are grateful for in your life (even the really small blessings!), you will worry less about anything that may be lacking. As a result, you will experience a more pervasive sense of happiness!

Banish negative thoughts

Being aware of pessimistic, negative thoughts is the first step towards banishing them for good. Next time your inner voice starts telling you something is too good to be true, or that you'll fail, stop whatever you're doing and go do something you enjoy, even if it's just for a few minutes. Being self-aware when pessimism strikes can help you to think yourself happy

Build on your strengths

Studies also show that using your core strengths will cause you to view your future more favorably. The best way to start your day and jump out of bed with an enthusiastic mood is to find your passion.

Finding your passion or what thrills you in life can turn you on each day, light your fire and boost your mood.

Focus on solutions

Put your energy into overcoming challenges rather than catastrophizing about how much can go wrong. Replace problem-focused thinking with solution-focused thinking and you'll immediately gain a sense of forward movement, possibility, and hope-the foundations of optimism.

Exercise daily

Physical activity is good for your mind as well as your body. A happy body helps you generate happy thoughts and emotions. Optimism is easier when you feel good

Practice mindfulness

In order to be optimistic, we need to stop our habitual way of mindlessly moving from one task to the next without appreciating what's going on around us. The practice of becoming more present at the moment is so powerful that it actually makes physical changes in the brain structure.

Marry an optimist

Hope is contagious. An idealistic spouse sets a good example and encourages harmony. If neither of you is optimistic, you and your partner can work on becoming more optimistic together and find friends who will be good role models.

Adjust your explanatory style

When optimists receive disappointing news, they usually view it as temporary and attribute it to external causes. Lighten up if you're taking the weather personally and remember the rain will end. It's good to hold yourself accountable for a behavior you can change, but avoid beating yourself up.

Plan ahead

Feeling in control also helps to boost optimism. Clarify your goals and strategies to makes it easier to anticipate obstacles and persevere. As your successes add up, the process will become more automatic.

Wear rose-colored glasses and walk on the sunny side of the street

"You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down." Charlie Chaplin

Anyone can become more upbeat and optimistic. When people use these techniques, they invariably feel a heavy burden lift off their shoulders. They feel positive, upbeat, and confident. You only need a few minutes to put these tips into action. They can be your key to enhanced life including your health, wealth, and career success.

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6 Simple Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When You Become Fearful

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do." Henry Ford

There isn't an individual who hasn't been afraid or faces difficult circumstances that caused them to be fearful at some point. Fear is one emotion that most of us dread, but all will have experienced during our lifetime.

What are you afraid of? What makes your heart stops when you think of it? What stresses you out more than anything else? What is it that worries you most?

Are you worried about your future like so many of us? Do you worry about the security of your job or the future for your children? There isn't a shortage of things to cause us fear. Life is unpredictable and because of the uncertainty and the unknown we develop a fear for the future.

If you are like most of us, you need to develop the right attitude to overcome your fears. Living in fear is never the answer. You need to face the fears you have and find solutions to avoid dealing with them over and over again.

Find the source of your fear and deal with it head-on. The great thing about confronting your fears is that once you have dealt with it, it will no longer cause you to fear. You will also become stronger and better able to deal with other uncertain issues in your life.

Here are six questions you should ask yourself when you are feeling fearful that will help to manage your fears.

1. Am I fearful for the right reasons?

Fear is a good thing as it helps to keep us safe. Use your fear in the right way and for the right reason. Do not spend your life being fearful of life. Use your fear to motivate you to go after your dream. Do not be consumed by the fear of the future but use those fears to work on making your future brighter. Face your fears by channeling them into areas that will give you the results you want.

2. Are my fears positive or negative?

What are the things you dread most? Are they positive or negative? Which type of fears do you tend to focus on? Rather than be fearful of the things you have no control of, channel your energies on to things that will make your life easier and less stressful. Take the time to focus on the positive and do not focus on negative things. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklyn Roosevelt

3. What meaning am I giving to challenges?

Think about it seriously, what are you focusing on? Are you giving these fears a life by constantly thinking about them? If so resist the urge to worry and reclaim your power and focus your attention on things you want to achieve. Focus on the things that will help you to become a better person.

4. Am I causing fear to rob me of my life?

If you spend your life in fear, you will never enjoy your life. There will always be something to fear. Why spend your time worrying about things that might not happen and you cannot control. To be happy, you must rid yourself of fear as fear robs you of your joy. You can never enjoy life being afraid.

5. Are my fears real or imagined?

Many times you cultivate fear when, in fact, there is nothing to fear. When a situation arises, you give it more power than you should? Quit giving your fear the power to grow. Remember things always seem worst than they truly are.

6. What can I learn from these fears?

Find out what lessons life is trying to teach you. Do not miss the opportunity to get the message you are being sent. Whenever you feel afraid, find out what it is that scares you the most and what you can do to reduce your fear.

Our fears will never go away, but you must be able to control your fears and not allow it to control you. Live your life in confidence expecting the best, and the best will happen. When you feel fearful find the cause of your fear and find a solution and if you can't stop worrying about it because there is nothing you can do about it.















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10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

What is that one quality, that intangible quality, which makes some people more successful than others?

Could it be intelligence? Do some people just have a higher IQ than others?

Maybe. However, that doesn’t seem to be the whole story.

In early studies, people of average IQ outperformed people with a high IQ 70% of the time.

Recently, researchers have been able to detect something called Emotional Intelligence (EI), which is a much more accurate predictor of success.

10 Qualities of Emotionally Intelligent Individuals

Although emotional intelligence is hard to define, there are some qualities that are typical of people with high emotional intelligence.

Here are the 10 qualities of emotionally intelligent individuals. Check them out, and see how many of these important qualities you possess:

1. You Are NOT A Perfectionist

If you are emotionally intelligent, then you know that perfection does not exist.

You reject the frustration and the sense of failure that accompany that constant striving for perfection. You are aware that perfectionism will leave you hung up on the shortcomings of others, as well as your own, and unable to enjoy your achievements.

2. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

If you have high emotional intelligence, you know how to embrace your strengths and how to use these strengths in such a way to compensate for your weaknesses.

In work and in your social life, you will deliberately choose situations which bring out your strengths so that you can succeed. Whenever possible, you will also choose friends and co-workers who play to your strengths and help you with your weaknesses.

3. You Are Self-Motivated

Your motivation comes from within and not from an external source.

You do not require an extrinsic reward to accomplish your goals because the motivation comes from inside of you. You are clear about your goals and do not need reminders. You’re able to set tasks for yourself and work towards them on your own.

4. You Care About Others

People with high emotional intelligence have a lot of empathy.

That means you are curious and genuinely interested in other people and what makes them tick. You have the ability to tune into body language and facial expressions to understand people’s emotions even without words.

You like to ask questions to learn more about people and what they need. You are an active listener, which means you are disciplined in your focus and you are able to summarize their statements and questions to show that you understand.

5. You Don’t Dwell on Past Mistakes

If you have high emotional intelligence, you realize that there is nothing to be gained from holding on to the past.

You are able to remember your mistakes well enough to learn from them, but you can keep them at a sufficient distance to avoid getting bogged down in negative memories and experiences.

You recognize that regret will hold you back from fully embracing the present.

6. You’re Not Easily Distracted

You are able to be fully present in whatever task you’re doing.

You focus on completing one task at a time and don’t allow other tasks or distractions to get in the way. You recognize the difference between multi-tasking and multi-focusing.

You will not change your goals until they are accomplished or you need to alter them. You are not derailed in your goals by things like text messages or tangential thoughts.

7. You Have Good Work-Life Balance

No matter how busy you are at work or at school, you recognize the importance of making time for a social life.

You have good time management skills and a realistic idea of how long it will take you to accomplish things.

You understand that you must work very hard to achieve success, but you also know that sometimes you have to be able to disconnect completely from work obligations in order to recharge.

You may decide to turn off your phone for the weekend so that you can return to work fully rejuvenated.

8. You Know When to Say ‘No’

You have a lot of self-discipline.

Even though saying “no” may be difficult sometimes, you know your limits and recognize that you can’t do everything.

You don’t give in the impulse to agree quickly to a commitment, or to give a vague response such as “Maybe” or “I’ll think about it,” when you really just need to say “no.”

Trying to do everything can lead to stress and burnout. You set clear priorities and are aware that by refusing some commitments, you will be better able to focus on those that you already have.

9. You Don’t Fear Change

You know that the fear of change will hold you back and prevent you from achieving your goals.

Change is necessary for growth, stimulation, and success. You are always prepared and on the lookout for the next change that comes along, and you are flexible enough to adapt when necessary.

When life remains stagnant for too long, you know that you will become bored. This will actually prevent the dynamic force needed to foster emotional intelligence. You have a positive attitude towards change, and recognize that it leads to better things.

10. You Know How to Manage Your Emotions

You are able to name your emotions and figure out why something is upsetting you so that you can take positive action to resolve it.

You know that anger needs to be properly channeled, and directed towards situations and events rather than people.

You’re able to let go of negative emotions and all the potential health problems that go along with them, such as high blood pressure and heart disease.

When it’s necessary to confront a toxic person, you are able to approach the situation in a rational manner, keeping your own emotions in check. You are confident and secure enough to not get offended over trivial things.

If someone teases you about something, you are able to brush it off and even laugh along with them.

Summary

How did you do? If you are one of the lucky folks who have high Emotional Intelligence, congratulations!

You are likely to succeed in whatever you put your mind to. If you didn’t do so well, think about some of the things that you could work on.

Simple things such as journaling about your strengths and weaknesses, or letting go off an old grudge could make a big difference. You can easily work on cultivating any of the above traits in order to raise your Emotional Intelligence and foster a spirit of success.

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