Change the Way You Speak to Yourself and Increase Your Chances of Success

A lot of people I speak to really want to break away from the normal 9 to 5 and to be fair most of them take the first tentative steps towards making this life changing move, they may have thought of a great way to make money or brought a book on how to start your own business or attend a seminar by someone who has done just what they would like to do, they may have even paid for a course that takes them step by step through the process of setting up a great money making system.

I know when I decided that I wanted to break away from the rat race I did all of the above and much more, spending thousands of pounds in the process BUT like most people, I never really got beyond those first few steps, in fact it was over TEN YEARS before I actually did grab the bull by the horns and put something into action. The amazing thing was after all that time it was one of the first ways to make money I learned of that I acted on and I have never looked back since.

So why do we do this? Why don't we take action if we want something as bad as we say we do? Why do we sit and procrastinate instead of doing something about it?

Well we usually come up with a number of excuses:

I'm not intelligent enough.

I didn't have a good education/get good grades/go to college. etc.

I haven't got the time.

I can't afford to do it.

I am too old/young.

I've never done anything like this before.

Or we put things off...

I will start Friday/next weekend/next month/when I have that week off work. etc.

I also know from experience one of the main reasons is fear!

Fear of failure!

Fear of change!

Fear of the unknown!

Fear of what other people will think of us!

The list goes on but generally comes back to that one irrational emotion;

False Evidence Appearing Real

The good news is we CAN do something about it, The bad news is its going to take a little bit of effort to address the problem. But don't worry its nothing complicated and its something that everyone can do.

What we have to do is change our mindset and to do this the first thing we need to do is change the way we speak to ourselves and this is what I'm going to be concentrating on today.

From very early on in life we talk to ourselves and what we say and how we say it has a big influence on how we react to the situations we find ourselves in as an adult. Over time we ( or the people around us/society in general ) brainwash ourselves with all kinds of limiting thoughts and notions of what we should do and what should make us happy.

So after a while all this self talk and outside influence helps to program our subconscious mind into accepting that we should be happy with what we do and what we have. After all you have a job/food on the table/ a roof over your head/ a car etc. so you should be satisfied with your lot right?

But is this really YOUR definition of happiness? Are you really satisfied with your lot?

I'm guessing that as you are reading this the answer is a resounding NO!

Well then it's time to admit to yourself that you are unhappy with where you are at this moment and that you are no longer going to accept life as it is. It's time to make your life what it can be and more to the point what it should be.

According to psychologists how we view life and more importantly how we view ourselves is largely set in stone by the time we are six years old. Just think about that for a while, everything we do in life, every decision we make, how we talk to ourselves and what we expect to achieve for ourselves is largely influenced by what kind of life we lived and what kind of experiences we had in those first few years!

Kind of scary eh?

So what does this mean?

In short it means that most of us talk to ourselves in a negative and unhelpful manner and this in turn restricts what we do or achieve with our lives.

Throughout the day we are talking to ourselves constantly either out loud or in our heads. Some of this self-talk is good - your dreams, your wants, your desires, your family, your friends, the little things that make you smile to yourself.

BUT some of it is negative and this stems from those experiences we were talking of earlier, those limiting influences that have got you nowhere. This kind of self-talk is what holds you back, it restricts you, brings you down and stops you from doing the things in life that you dream about.

This kind of self-talk is destructive and needs to be avoided at ALL costs. You must be aware of everything you are saying to yourself, whether it be out loud or in your head and when you find you are speaking to yourself in a negative way STOP!

Listen out for the positive things you say and concentrate on these instead, this is the kind of self-talk you have to nurture and as you do the negative self-talk will die back.

Once you allow the positive self-talk to flourish you will find great things start to happen with you as a person, to the way other people see and treat you and with your life in general.

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7 Types of Loneliness

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a common and important obstacle to consider.

To be happy, we need intimate bonds; we need to be able to confide, we need to feel like we belong, we need to be able to get and give support. In fact, strong relationships are key — perhaps the key — to a happy life.

Of course, being alone and being lonely aren’t the same. Loneliness feels draining, distracting, and upsetting; desired solitude feels peaceful, creative, restorative.

It seems to me that there are several types of loneliness. Of course, not everyone experiences loneliness in the situations described — for instance, not everyone wants a romantic partner. But for some people, the lack of certain kinds of relationships brings loneliness.

Once we’ve pinpointed the particular kind of loneliness we’re experiencing, it may be easier to spot ways to address it.

Here are some types I’ve identified — what have I overlooked?

7 Types of Loneliness

1. New-situation loneliness

You’ve moved to a new city where you don’t know anyone, or you’ve started a new job, or you’ve started at a school full of unfamiliar faces. You’re lonely.

2. I’m-different loneliness

You’re in a place that’s not unfamiliar, but you feel different from other people in an important way that makes you feel isolated. Maybe your faith is really important to you, and the people around you don’t share that — or vice versa. Maybe everyone loves doing outdoor activities, but you don’t — or vice versa. It feels hard to connect with others about the things you find important. Or maybe you’re just hit with the loneliness that hits all of us sometimes — the loneliness that’s part of the human condition.

3. No-sweetheart loneliness

Even if you have lots of family and friends, you feel lonely because you don’t have the intimate attachment of a romantic partner. Or maybe you have a partner, but you don’t feel a deep connection to that person.

4. No-animal loneliness
Many people have a deep need to connect with animals. If this describes you, you’re sustained by these relationships in a way that human relationships don’t replace. While I love my dog Barnaby, I don’t feel this myself — but many people feel like something important is missing if they don’t have a dog or cat (or less conveniently, a horse) in their lives.

5. No-time-for-me loneliness

Sometimes you’re surrounded by people who seem friendly enough, but they don’t want to make the jump from friendly to friends. Maybe they’re too busy with their own lives, or they have lots of friends already, so while you’d like a deeper connection, they don’t seem interested. Or maybe your existing friends have entered a new phase that means they no longer have time for the things you all used to do — everyone has started working very long hours, or has started family, so that your social scene has changed.

6. Untrustworthy-friends loneliness

Sometimes, you get in a situation where you begin to doubt whether your friends are truly well-intentioned, kind, and helpful. You’re “friends” with people but don’t quite trust them. An important element of friendship is the ability to confide and trust, so if that’s missing, you may feel lonely, even if you have fun with your friends.

7. Quiet-presence loneliness

Sometimes, you may feel lonely because you miss having someone else’s quiet presence. You may have an active social circle at work, or have plenty of friends and family, but you miss having someone to hang out with at home — whether that would mean living with a roommate, a family member, or a sweetheart. Just someone who’s fixing a cup of coffee in the next room, or reading on the sofa.

It’s important to realize why we feel lonely, because only then can we see how we might address it. If you’re no-time-for-me lonely, for instance, maybe a solution would be to work with people on a project, where you’d be doing an endeavor together, on something you’ve all made time for. My mother once noted — and I think it’s very true — it’s easier to make friends when you’re working on a project together.

Loneliness is a major factor in unhappiness, so it’s an important area to tackle, if you’re working on making yourself happier.

One of the keys — maybe the key — to happiness is strong connections to other people. The lack of these bonds, even temporarily, is a major happiness stumbling block.
Have you found any good ways to understand and deal with loneliness?

Plus-You Can Now Join Our FREE Mastering Success Facebook Community at www.masteringsuccess.group

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7 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Stress is a big part of life, unfortunately. Particularly if you’re a dreamer, and some things just haven’t gone the way you wanted them to. However, once you know how to control your stress levels, things become a lot easier for you.

Unfortunately, we all have daily stress, and it can come from many sources. But stress is something you can definitely reduce, by taking a few simple steps.

7 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Here are 7 things to keep in mind that will reduce your stress level and make it easier to be happier and more productive at whatever you do.


1) Sleep well

Many people underestimate the value of sleep. It is all too easy to stay up late and give up your sleep time. Especially when you are young and feel like you can do anything.

Research shows that sleep deprivation affects your body’s healthy balance, so it is not something you want to cut out. Think of it as mistreating yourself because lack of sleep affects everything you do. If you have trouble sleeping, there are many ways to address the problem.

Talk to your doctor for solutions.


2) Eat Healthy
We all know how it feels to skip meals because we are too busy, or eating too much of the type of foods that are unhealthy.

When you want to improve your diet, there are many choices. Just reducing your sugar intake is one sure method. Avoid sugar sweetened drinks and those with high doses of caffeine is another.

Sticking to a diet rich in protein with large amounts of fruits and vegetables is generally good advice.

3) Simplify
Life can get complicated, especially when you find yourself being very active and not having enough time for yourself.

It’s easy to take on too many projects, to work overtime, or to spend excessive time involved in community or school projects and activities. When you choose to simplify your life, you decide to cut back on stress-inducing activities.

You purposely slow down, and plan quiet time for yourself and your family. Another way to simplify refers to the recent popular trend of cutting back on your material possessions.

Cleaning out closets and organizing your home or workspace is always a good idea.


4) Exercise

Exercise is one of the fastest and easiest ways to de-stress.

Many people go to the gym or take up running. But even doing simpler methods like just riding a bike or spending time in your living room each morning doing cardio moves, or taking regular walks every day are ways to improve your health and reduce your stress level.

Exercise reduces your risk for getting chronic diseases because it improves your immune system. Along with exercising, you should also make sure you drink enough water to stay hydrated.


5) Be creative
Have you ever noticed how people who have serious hobbies are rarely depressed?

This is because doing something creative is a way to channel your energy in a new direction. Find something to do that you are interested in, such as gardening, scrap-booking, putting together a photo project, or woodworking.

Or maybe you are interested in doing a larger home project such as remodeling your garage or building a wine cellar. You will quickly see that it will help you unwind from your work day. Hobbies are fun to do and a great way to spend time away from everything else.
Easy Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life

Here are 7 things to keep in mind that will reduce your stress level and make it easier to be happier and more productive at whatever you do.


6) Take time to relax

Some people forget to take time out of their regular activities to relax.

But, more and more people are realizing just how valuable relaxation time is. Taking time to relax will make you feel better and give you more energy to to be productive at work.

There are many ways to relax, such as visiting a health spa or taking a yoga class. Many people use meditation to help them relax.

Doing outside activities also help you unwind, so take time to travel and explore new places you have never been before, or get outside somewhere close to home.


7) Schedule Fun

One of the biggest mistakes people make is to overwork.

Life can seem so fast paced, and the demands of excessive job hours can seem overwhelming. This is why it is so important to schedule time for fun activities.

Whether you are single, or have a family, doing something outdoors with friends, or with your partner or children is very important. Live a little better every day. Get out of the house, try something new and have some fun!


Keep these 7 tips in mind when you want to reduce your stress level. Sleep well, eat healthy, simplify, exercise, be creative, relax and have fun.


These ideas will help you to stay balanced and live happier and healthier every day.

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How to Adopt A Productive Mindset

Everybody knows we live in an age of distraction. We have so many different things vying for our attention that it’s hard to focus on any one thing, let alone make progress on the multitude of tasks we have on our plates.

A lot of productivity advice would tell you that you need to cut out the distractions. If email or social media are distracting you, simply get away from them or use a program to block them for the amount of time you need to complete a task.

Here’s the problem: Being distraction-free doesn’t equal productivity. I’m a writer, and as a writer, I’m always working on building my platform and trying to connect with potential readers on social media. But there are times when I need to disconnect and just write.

How to Adopt A Productive Mindset

But just because you get away from the distractions doesn’t mean you’ll be productive with the time you have. As a writer, for example, it’s easy to justify doing anything other than writing as research or creative thinking.

We start to think that if we’re doing something, then we’re being productive. But you can work really hard at the wrong things, fooling yourself into thinking that you’re moving forward when you’re really just spinning your wheels.

The key to productivity is adopting a productive mindset and learning how to focus your creative energy on the things that matter.


1. Know Your Why

Leadership expert Simon Sinek says in his book Start with Why that “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” Sinek’s book is all about discovering the why that drives productivity and effectiveness.

There’s a why behind everything that we do, but it’s not always a conscious why. We eat breakfast in the morning probably because we’re hungry, but we don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about the purpose behind our desire to eat breakfast.

Having a productive mindset starts with identifying why you do the things you do.
Why are you writing that blog post?
Why are you contacting that client?
Why are you creating that product?

Questions like these force you to do some serious evaluation of your priorities because you’ll discover that the reason why you do some things isn’t a good enough reason to continue doing those things.

Knowing your why involves looking at your productivity strategy and identifying exactly what you hope to accomplish with all that you do and what motivates you to do it.


Once you’ve done that, you’re ready to move into the next step, which requires you to eliminate some of the things you do that aren’t aiding in your productivity.

2. Identify the Tasks that Make You the Most Productive

Any productivity system inevitably includes making a list at some point of all the tasks you have to do. This is good practice because it allows you to see on paper what you’re spending your creative energies on. It also forces you to see obvious disconnects between the more important things you do and the less important.

What are the tasks that make you the most productive?

Working hard isn’t enough to be successful at doing what you love because you can work hard at things that are only drying up your creative energy instead of creating results.

You have to identify the things that are most worth your time because they’re the most rewarding in terms of productivity.

If you’re a teacher and you want to learn how to better engage students in your class, researching engagement methods can be good, but there can also be a point when researching is only a practice in inactivity.

You have to identify what is going to be most productive for your context, which will likely include identifying the needs and interests of your students rather than reading about the strategies other teachers have used on their students.

Whatever it is you do for a living, identify the tasks that will make you the most productive in your professional arena.


3. Focus Your Creative Energy by Challenging Yourself

Once you have a list of the tasks that will make you the most productive, you need a strategy for actually completing those tasks. This is where going above and beyond the simple elimination of distractions is vital.

If you really want to get tasks completed, you have to challenge yourself. Tap into your naturally competitive nature and use it to your advantage.

Set a timer for a specific amount of time and challenge yourself to complete as much of a task as you can within that time frame. Of course, you want to complete the task well, so avoid using the timer as an excuse to do mediocre work.

Challenging yourself to complete a task in a certain amount of time assumes that you’ll be free of distractions.

Distractions would get in the way of reaching your goal.

A timed runner doesn’t stop to play a game or send a text message in the middle of a race because she realizes those distractions would only hinder her ability to reach her goal.

For a specific timing strategy, you might want to check out the Pomodoro Technique, which involves alternating between timed working on a task followed by a short break before the next dive back into the task.


“CHALLENGE YOURSELF EVERYDAY TO DO BETTER AND BE BETTER. REMEMBER, GROWTH STARTS WITH A DECISION TO MOVE BEYOND YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES.” – ROBERT TEW


4. Be Passionate About Results

A productive mindset requires a high degree of commitment to getting the job done. When the process makes you weary, it’s the results and your why that will drive you to keep going.

As a writer, it can be really easy to give up in the middle of a story because the process is starting to feel slow and unrewarding. But the story isn’t finished, and the only way I can see the result of a finished story is to keep going.

If you’re lucky, you’ll love what you do, but don’t focus too much on loving what you do because on some days, you won’t.

On those days, you still need to be productive, so when you’re not passionate about the process, at least be passionate about the results so that you’ll keep going to see the results in the end.

If you want to be more productive, you have to start with adopting a productive mindset. You’ll only make things happen when you begin to focus your creative energy on the things that matter.


How did you adopt a productive mindset?

And if you still haven’t done so, which of the points above do you think was most important?

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