How to Overcome Perfectionism: 6 Powerful Habits

“Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.”
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

“People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it.”
Edith Schaeffer

One of the most common challenges that people email me about – and I myself have had quite a bit of trouble with – is perfectionism.

It’s an issue that can hold you back in life. Not only from achieving and finishing what you want.

But sometimes from even getting started. While at the same time draining your self-esteem and getting you stuck in a negative spiral where it can become harder and harder to start moving forward.

So today I’d like to share 6 things that have helped me – and still helps me to this day – with this destructive and distracting thought habit.


1. Go for good enough.

Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead.

Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

So find a balance for yourself where you do good work and don’t slack off but at the same time don’t get lost in trying to improve and polish something too much.

How to find that balance? I have found my own balance through trial and error and experience.

2. Realize that you hurt yourself and the people around you by buying into myths of perfection.

By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.

But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to:
Cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you.
Harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world.

I find it very helpful to remind myself of these simple facts.

Whenever I get lost in a perfectionist headspace I remind myself that it will cause me and my world harm. And so it become easier to switch my focus and thoughts because I want to avoid making destructive choices and avoid causing myself and the people closest to me unnecessary pain.

3. Accept that you are human and so are everyone else.

Set human standards for everyone and accept that life is like that.

Everything and everyone has flaws and things don’t always go as planned. You can still improve things but they will never be perfect.

And realize that you won’t be rejected if things or you aren’t perfect. At least not by reasonably well-balanced human beings, like most people actually are in reality.

4. Compare yourself to yourself.

Comparing yourself to other people on a regular basis can easily lead to feeling inferior. There will always be a lot of people ahead of you in any area of life.

So compare yourself to yourself…
See your improvement, see how far you have come.
Look back at what you have overcome.
Appreciate yourself and focus what you have done and are doing rather than what everyone else is doing.

5. Do what you think is the right thing.

So you realize that perfectionism will harm you and you try to avoid it. But people and media and the society around you have an influence over how you think and feel.

One of the best ways I have found to practically lessen that influence is by doing the right thing as much as possible. When you do that other people’s expectations have less and less power over you and you take more charge of your life.

Because by doing the right thing your self-esteem goes up and other people’s opinions about you and life will matter less to you. You have become stronger, more certain in who you are and you are not so easily swayed by external forces.

6. Shape an environment of human standards around you.

Emotions are contagious. So is perfectionism.

And even though you can lessen the impact that your environment has you can also work at the other end of things.

You can reshape your environment by for example:
Reducing or cutting out the sources that try to reinforce perfectionism in you. Take a little time to review what websites, magazines, podcasts, TV-shows and books you spend a lot of time with. Take a look at if they have realistic and positive expectations or views on you and on life. And if not, choose to spend more of your time with the sources that lift you up and support you.
Spending less time with nervously perfectionistic people. And more of your time each week with people who are trying to improve themselves and/or are living a good life in a positive, healthy and relaxed way.

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10 Reasons to Stop Watching Television

In this article, we’ll look at the effects that TV has on people, and some of the scary facts that you might not be aware of. Most importantly, we’ll go through the top 10 reasons to stop watching television.

How many hours on average do people watch TV per day?

According to Statistic Brain, the average person watches 5 hours and 11 minutes of television per day. Wow, that’s a lot of television!

So out of the 24 hours we have per day, more than 1/5th of it on average is spent in front of the TV. And if you add on top 7 or 8 hours sleeps, that doesn’t really leave too much of the day left to get things done.

What effect does television have on people?

Despite the effect it has of people not get anything productive done, television can have an effect on people’s minds, causing them to think differently. You can see more info on this when we get into the reasons to stop watching TV below.

10 Reasons to Stop Watching Television

So now you’re about to read a bunch of reasons from myself as to why you need to stop watching television. Then 90% of you after you’ve finished reading will go and sit yourself down in front of your favorite TV program.

Here are the 10 most obvious reasons to stop watching television:


1. Watching Too Much TV is Wasting Time

How much time are you wasting watching TV?

Well, the answer is above (5 hours and 11 minutes every day). Is that amount the time you’re actually wasting though?

If you’re watching things that are educational and beneficial towards your interested and goals, then that time is probably not all wasted. But, for the most of us who watch random TV series’, we may well be wasting all our time.

Think about it, what happens when you turn the TV off after 3 hours of watching some random US sitcom?

Sure, you could say you’re more relaxed because of it, but 3 hours of the stuff? Does it really relax you that much?

There’s so much more you could be doing instead of watching television. Think about all the goals you could be working towards and achieving instead of looking at a screen.



2. TV Provides Unrealistic Expectations

TV is not real life.

Sure, you may be able to watch the news, or documentaries about people’s lives. However, the likelihood is that the news is exaggerated and intimidates people for no reason, or the documentaries are actually again exaggerated and fake.

But I’ll get into that a little later on in the article.

Television provides unrealistic expectations because of all the random scenarios and situations portrayed, that would never be the case in real life. Either portrayed in movies, sitcoms or other programs.

For those of us looking to becoming successful in life and make something of ourselves, these programs can often put illusions in our minds as to what’s required to make it in life. Or, they end up putting false limits in our mind of what’s actually possible for us.



3. TV Puts Your Health At Risk

The scientific link between the amount of TV watched and obesity has been proven.

People who have a habit of sitting down and watching TV for long periods of time, are often more likely to be obese and at risk of heart diseases.

You’re also likely to eat more when you’re sitting down in front of the television. Plus, since you’re also burning less calories due to doing no physical activity, this becomes a very risky combination.


4. TV Degrades Your Discipline

Well, you’re not exactly improving your discipline whilst watching TV are you?

Watching television has an affect on your level of discipline, because it’s addictive. The more you watch television, the less likely you are to get things done.

Plus, if you have a television in your house, it’s one of the most common distractions for people. Therefore, the amount of discipline you have is reduced significantly.


5. TV Programs Negativity Into Your Mind

The news on TV in particular, programs a lot of negativity into our minds.

How much of the news we see on TV is positive?

Not a lot right?

The worst of the worst is always put on TV, and it programs negativity into our minds. We see danger in various places, and decide we won’t go there because of fear.

We hear of diseases that are spreading across the world, and we start being over cautious. Some people end up staying in their homes due to fear of things going wrong.

TV implants negativity into our brains.

6. TV Has An Influence On Your Spending Habits

TV clearly has an affect on your spending habits.

Adverts every 15 minutes, and shopping channels all over the place; needless to say it doesn’t look good.

Even if you’re not watching television with purchases in mind, which nobody ever is, it can still influence your spending.

We’re very visual people, and can easily be influence by TV without even realizing it. Just bear that in mind when you next sit down in front of the screen.

7. TV Can Make You Less Satisfied In Life

A study has actually shown that people who watch more TV tend to be less satisfied with the way their life is.

Their list of wants and desires for materialistic things become greater, and their gratitude for what they have degrades. This is most likely due to the unrealistic way life is portrayed on TV.


8. TV Causes You to Become Less Social

Funnily enough ‘it doesn’t take two to television’.

If you’re someone who’s watching a lot of TV, chances are your social life is decreasing. Being social is very beneficial for not only relaxing and imprinting positive thoughts in our minds, but we can also become wiser from being more social.

There could be so many people around you to send your time with. People who will make you happy, lift your spirits, and even provide you with help and knowledge.

It beats sitting in front of a screen.


9. TV Can Wrongly Alter Your Beliefs

Since TV can implant negativity into our minds and also present us with unrealistic expectations, it can also alter your beliefs.

Television is powerful. So if you don’t want your belief system messed with, then stop watching so much TV.


10. How Many Lamborghini Adverts Do You See On TV?


Think about it, seriously.

How many Lamborghini, or Ferrari adverts do you see on television?

You’ve probably never seen one in your life, unless you happen to be in a rich area. But here’s the point. Why don’t you see adverts for these cars on television?

You see adverts for all the other car makes on TV, so why not makes like Lamborghini? It’s simple; and you can put it down to the fact that the average person won’t be able to afford these cars, but that’s not the reason.

The reason there are no Lamborghini adverts on television is simply because the people who can afford them aren’t sitting around watching TV.

Lamborghini have to advertise their cars somehow right, but TV is not the answer. That’s not where their target market is, i.e. wealthy and successful people.
How to Stop Watching TV


We’ve taken a look at all the reasons why you should stop watching television, but how do you actually encourage yourself to do it?

Here are a few steps you can take to cut down on the amount of TV you watch:

1. Sell your television altogether

The simplest way to stop watching television would be to stop owning one altogether. However, that’s a pretty drastic measure to take. Yet, if you’re really struggling to cut down on TV time, this may well be a good idea.

Alternatively, limit the number of TV’s in your house. If you have one in the bedroom, sell that one and just keep one in your living room.

2. Try and get out of the house more

If you’re out of the house more, then you’ll be watching less television. So try to do what you can to get outside of the house.

3. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to watch television

Try and set an allotted time every day for watching TV. This is a great way to limit the time you spend in front of the screen.

4. Buy a timer for your television

You can grab timers that automatically turn your television off after they’ve been on for a specific amount of time.

This is another excellent way to stop watching television, because the timer does it for you. Once you’ve watched the limit you’ve set it on, that’s it for the day.

5. Try and be more social

Try and be more social. Make new friends, ask them to go out and do things. If you get more socially active, you’ll be spending more time with others, and not in front of your TV.


Summary

Now that we’re coming to the end of the article, let’s quickly recap the 10 reasons why you should stop watching television:
Watching too much TV is wasting time
TV provides unrealistic expectations
TV puts your health at risk
TV degrades your discipline
TV programs negativity into your mind
TV has an influence on your spending habits
TV can make you less satisfied in life
TV causes you to become less social
TV can wrongly alter your beliefs
How many Lamborghini adverts do you see on TV?

How to stop watching television:
Sell your television altogether
Try and get out of the house more
Give yourself an allotted amount of time to watch television
Buy a timer for your television
Try and be more social


In Conclusion
We think that TV can definitely be relaxing at times, there’s no doubt about that. It’s healthy to watch a little now and then for the entertainment factor.

However, watching too much can be detrimental to your level of happiness, productivity and success. You don’t have to go to the extreme of selling every TV you own, just try and cut down the time spent watching. Maybe remove TV’s from bedrooms, offices, etc.

How much TV do you watch per day? Leave a comment below.

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7 Ways Smart People Deal With People They Don’t Like

Wouldn’t it be great to interact exclusively with people you like?

It would, but the truth is, you will often encounter people who rub you the wrong way, who say or do things that irritate you.

It could be that someone is habitually late or doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.

Perhaps it’s someone who is rude and disrespectful. It could be someone who doesn’t listen or who is very arrogant and full of themselves.

How Smart People Deal With People They Don’t Like

Whatever the situation, whether this person is a family member, a colleague, or simply someone you encounter at the grocery store, here are some tips to help you feel better about any interaction with them.

1. Accept them

There will always be people who don’t see things the way you do and who don’t behave the way you would.

When you have high expectations of yourself, most likely you’ll have very high expectations of others as well, and the higher your expectations, the more you risk being disappointed.

Before you judge someone else though, recognise that you don’t fully know them or their situation (even if it’s someone you’ve known for a long time). You’re simply seeing their behaviour in this moment.

You don’t know, and can’t know what’s really behind that. Everyone has a unique story.

Everyone has challenges and difficulties that can cause them to behave in ways that you might find unacceptable. You don’t have to like everyone and not everyone will like you. Nor will everyone think or behave the same way you do.

You’ll find people much easier to deal with if you accept this.

Then, depending on the situation, you can make a choice about how you want to deal with them. It’s easier if it’s a casual interaction and you can choose to simply walk away.

But what if it’s a family member or someone you have to work with?

Even when you’re forced to interact consistently with someone you don’t like, it’s much easier if you can accept that you don’t like them and be okay with that. This can help you make an informed decision about how you will interact with them going forward.

2. Identify what bothers you

Get clear on exactly what it is about this person that bothers you.

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Stick to the facts and do your best to keep the emotion out of it.

For example, this person might be a total narcissist, making everything about them, taking credit for everything good and blaming others for everything bad. You might find that this really bothers you, and you may wonder why everyone else is not able to see it.

Getting upset about it won’t help you. It’s never going to change who this person is. This is simply what narcissists do. Now that you know this, it’s up to you to decide how you want to interact with this person.

Perhaps you make sure, wherever you can, that other people receive credit for work they have done so all the credit doesn’t go to one person. Perhaps you can train yourself to ignore the behaviour or at least not let it affect you emotionally.

It may help you to know that narcissists behave the way they do because it covers up their insecurities and low self-esteem. They are extremely vulnerable to criticism, and have a deep need for admiration from others.

When you identify what bothers you and dig a little deeper to go beyond the behaviour, you can arrive at a strategy that helps you deal with the person and their behaviour in the most positive way possible.

3. Focus on the benefits

One technique that can help you is to think about their positive aspects.

Everyone has good in them. What do they do well?

For example, the person with the narcissistic personality may be an extremely good organiser. He or she may have a talent for organising people and making things happen. They may be very committed and show up when and where they’re supposed to.

Look for the good and focus more on that than on what bothers you. You can even sincerely compliment them on their good attributes. This can help to put you in a more positive emotional state when you need to deal with them.

4. Release the need to be right

The more attached you are to being right, the more you will struggle with people you don’t like.

If you need to be right and you feel a need to prove it, you will waste a lot of time and energy in conflict. You can know that you are right without having to argue the point or prove your case.

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In fact, in a heated discussion, letting the other person be right (even if you know that you are the one who is right) can take away all the negative energy and antagonism. You can make your point and simply walk away.

You don’t have to prove that you’re right. When two people have an intense need to be right it can escalate any simple discussion into a heated argument which can result in long-term disagreements and antagonism, just because both are determined to be right.

Ask yourself: Is being right worth the time and emotional energy expenditure?

5. Remain positive

Do you find yourself thinking about the person you don’t like and having conversations with them in your head or find yourself going over and over what it is you don’t like about them in your mind?

When this happens they have taken over your thoughts. You have given away your power to that person. The only thing this does is to negatively affect you. It does nothing to or for the other person.

Try to stick to the facts of the situation and disconnect emotionally.

When you are connected emotionally it becomes your problem. It can take over your life. Don’t let it. Focus on what you need to do in order to be able to detach. Find positive ways to think about the situation. Think of positive ways to deal with the person.

Look for something positive and make the decision that you will not let them take over your thoughts or steal your present moment awareness and peace.

6. Become an observer

If you find yourself reacting to someone you don’t like, you’re giving your energy to them.

Sometimes you may encounter people who try to manipulate your energy or who try to project their issues onto you. When you react to that, you feed them energetically. This leaves them feeling stronger and you feeling weaker.

They start to feel better about themselves and you start to feel worse about yourself.

Next time you encounter such a situation, see if you can simply observe their behaviour without being triggered or getting pulled in. You’ll notice something interesting.

When you don’t feed them or the situation with your energy and when you refuse to take on their issues, they are left with it all to themselves.

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This leaves them feeling more and more uncomfortable because they’re having to deal with their own negative energy all by themselves, since you’re not engaging. You don’t need to take on their stuff, and you don’t need to let them take your energy.

Become an observer and stay empowered. They will soon learn that you are confidently grounded and can’t be messed with, making your interactions with them much more positive for you.

7. Be willing to learn

There is always something to be learned from any difficult or negative person or situation.

You can learn a lot about yourself, as well as others. Whenever a difficult person enters my life I ask myself what they are teaching me about myself. I know that once I learn whatever I’m supposed to, then that person won’t be a problem for me any more.

Either they will move out of my life, or our interactions will be positive. If they remain in my life, it doesn’t mean that I have to like them, although that may be a possibility. But I can learn how to deal with them in a positive and empowering way.

I can learn to interact with them in a way that feels good to me, and ultimately that is my main objective, to feel as good as I can, as often as possible.

When you are willing to learn and to actively look for the lesson this person can teach you, you take control of your life. This is a proactive and very powerful approach. It will teach you how to respond, as opposed to reacting to them.

Summary

Recognise that there will always be people you don’t like and that don’t like you – and that’s perfectly okay.

It’s all part of life and its many lessons for us.

What I have learned is that the more positive you are, and the more you apply the techniques mentioned above, the fewer encounters you’ll have with people you really don’t like, and when you do, you will have the tools to deal with them in the most positive way possible.

And remember to be grateful for all the difficult people and situations that challenge and frustrate you, because often they are our very best teachers.

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